Superman Returns flew into theatres on 6/28/06, and so did Perfectmatch.com, the online dating service. By integrating itself with the 2006 Summer movie blockbusters, Superman Returns, starring Kevin Spacey and Kate Bosworth, and The Break-Up, with Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn, Perfectmatch.com will definitely earn further name recognition among the masses.

As we have seen in the past, Perfectmatch.com, which has over three million members worldwide, has a penchant (and a 10 million dollar yearly advertising budget) for teaming up with Hollywood to get the word out about it’s dating service. In addition to being mentioned in films like Must Love Dogs and Failure to Launch, Perfectmatch also recently signed a deal with the Lifetime cable network to appear in Lovespring International, a 13 week comedy series about a dysfunctional dating service. And no, Perfectmatch.com is not the dysfunctional service.

We found Perfectmatch.com an interesting dating service with a decent database and great search options. If you have used Perfectmatch.com, help other single Christians by sharing your thoughts.

Return to Christian-Dating-Service-PLUS Home

In the late 80’s Newsweek reported that thirty-something single women had at best, only a 20% chance of getting married. I can’t tell you how many of my single women friends got depressed over this prediction. Now, 20 years later Newsweek finally told singles and the world that the findings on thirty-something dating and marriage was inaccurate. Why? The older research was based in part on faulty conjectures on how many available thirty-something plus singles there are (50 million in the US alone) and how they meet each other.

Of course, anyone familar with online dating and singles demographics knew the Newsweek report was bogus. Yet, in all fairness Newsweek could not have possibly accounted for the rapid rise in online dating among singles over thirty because the mainstream Internet was not even around at the time of the original article.

Over Thirty Singles and Online Dating

To the surprise of many, while twenty-somethings make up the largest singles dating pool, more than half (54%) of all online dating occurs between singles who are over thirty years old. Since the online dating industry garnered over 500 million dollars in 2005, that means there’s a whole lot of dating going on between thirty-somethings, forty-somethings and fifty-somethings.

Not wanting to miss out on this booming niche market, many online dating services have have created separate dating sites catering to over thirty singles. The top-selling online dating services that Christian singles use are eHarmony.com, Christian Cafe, ChristianMingle/Relationships.com, SingleC and Yahoo Personals, but none of these have specific services for over thirty daters. What they do have, however, are search databases that allow the thirty-something and over singles to search for a mate in their geographical area and preferred age range.

We were only able to find one online professed Christian dating site that sets up shop specifically for Christians over the age of thirty. That online dating site, ThirtyPlusChristians.com, is actually a Christian matchmaking site. In order to apply for the dating/matchmaker service, you fill in some personal background information, and a dating representative gets back to you within a week. I filled out an application a week ago, and am still waiting for a reply.

Are you a Christian single with knowledge of other online dating sites for singles over the age of thirty? Feel free to help other singles by sharing your comments.

Return to Christian-Dating-Service-PLUS Home

What are some signs of a good Christian dating relationship? What qualities would you look for in the “right one” for you as a Christian single? Generally, the following list of signs should be present in your Christian dating partner if you are considering a lifelong commitment in marriage.

Good Christian Dating Relationships

• Your dating interest (we assume he or she is a Christian) is growing more and more in love with Jesus. Just as important, he/she has not caused you to stumble sexually, but has also had a positive spiritual influence on you.

• He or she has a good sense of humor. Why is this important? Life is full of valleys and tribulations, but a good sense of humor will help keep things in perspective. People who can see humor in their circumstances generally have a cheerful outlook on life, which is very important to a successful relationship. Proverbs 17:22 states “A merry heart does good like medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones.”

• He or she respects your feelings, needs, interests and dreams. They are not “control freaks” or overly possessive, but give you the personal space to succeed by being your own person.

• He or she is able to converse and be vulnerable with you. This means being able to be intimate and communicate on the heart level. They can honestly share true feelings, whether they be positive or negative.

• Your guy or gal possesses good conflict resolution skills, and knows how to argue constructively.

• Your dating partner has loving relationships with their family members and friends. Watch how they treat those closest to them, beacause this is how they will most likely begin treating you.

• Your single friend is financially stable. This does not mean they need to be a millionaire, but they should be able to support themselves.

• Your dating partner is “over” their past dating relationship. If they are constantly bringing up the “ex”, you can assume this is not the case.

• They take care of themselves physically and emotionally.

• They have a good relationship with your parents and friends. Note: If your parents and closest Christian friends feel something is wrong with the dating relationship, proceed with great caution.

Of course, the above is not an exhaustive list of good signs to look for in your Christian dating relationship partner. If you can think of any other positive dating relationship qualities, please consider helping other singles by sharing your views.

Related Posts:

What Christian Single Girls Want in a Guy

Return to Christian-Dating-Service-PLUS Home

Having good conversation starter skills are key to any successful dating or marriage relationship. Have you ever seen a dating couple enjoying a great conversation? You can just see and feel those sparks flying all over the place! Learning how to have good conversations with your potential soul mate will not only help you both grow closer, but will also make for a much more enjoyable dating experience.

Yet, how many of us seem at a loss when we try to start a conversation? Later on, we kick ourselves for not saying that funny thing or timely word. Duh! However, if you put into practice the following conversation starter tips for dating, you are on your way to succeeding in the future.

Conversation Starter Advice

Conversation Starter Tip 1: Don’t Hog the Ball!

We all hated that when we were kids, and as single adults we hate it when someone hogs a conversation. Remember, a good conversation starts with a dialogue, not a monologue. That means allowing your date to get in some of his or her thoughts as well.

Ever meet a person who asks you how you are doing, but then before you can open your mouth they spend the next 10 minutes droning on about their stuff? The bottom line is it’s boring and annoying all rolled into one, so don’t do it, okay?

Conversation Starter Tip 2: Show an Interest in Their Passion

Everyone enjoys speaking about themselves and their interests. So discover what your boyfriend or girlfriend is passionate about, and ask them sincere, open ended questions about the topic. You will see your date come alive, and a nice and easy flowing conversation will ensue. You may also find out something interesting and surprising about your single friend that you didn’t already know.

Conversation Starter Tip 3: Be Prepared with Topics

Think about some interesting topics to discuss from daily events, news or funny things that have happened to you recently. Just remember to avoid boring or controversial topics, like talking incessantly about the ex-girlfreind or boyfriend. This happens to be the number one complaint singles give about their dating partners.

Conversation Starter Tip 4: Give Them Undivided Attention

When you are having a conversation with your friend, make sure you concentrate solely on them. Look intently into their eyes while they are speaking. This not only makes them feel important, but will give them the impression that you really do care about what they are saying. And you do, right?

Conversation Starter Tip 5: Be Vulnerable

It’s hard to start a conversation with an overly guarded person. Hanging out with such a person is also a huge turnoff. Hey, we’re not saying you should be giving away your bank account number to strangers, but opening up your heart a little bit by sharing your feelings helps the other person relax, and makes them open to sharing as well.

Conversation Starter Tip 6: Understand Body Language

Did you know that 93% of communication is non-verbal? So when you are starting a conversation with your date, take cues from their body language to assess if you are communicating well.

Good signs to look for when having a conversation: Leaning forward to you, dilated pupils, revealing palms and wrists, smiling, or uncrossed arms and legs. As you might have guessed, a dating tipoff that your conversation is not going well would include: folded arms and/or legs, rolling eyes, smirks, yawns, leaning back and looking away from your eye contact. A smart communicator will gauge body language, and adjust their conversation accordingly.

I’m sure there are many other conversation starter tips we haven’t shared. Feel free to share and help others if you have any other conversation dating tips.

Related Article:Â

Conversations to Avoid with Your DateÂ

Return to Christian-Dating-Service-PLUS Home

The casual dating versus courtship love debate rages on in some conservative Christian circles. Ever since Joshua Harris’ bestselling book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye came out, this question has come to the forefront: Should Christian singles interested in the opposite sex practice casual dating or Christian courtship?

But let’s pose another question that cuts to the heart of the matter: Which model, casual dating or courtship, has better end results viz-a-viz pre-marital sex, domestic violence, infidelity and divorce rates?

Both sides voice their highly dogmatic views, but the raw truth of the matter is that we simply don’t yet know the answer. It’s going to take several decades before Christian social scientists can measure what real difference, if any, the modern courtship love movement has made on marriages and families. Until then, I believe both sides should put James 1:19 into practice: “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to listen, slow to speak, slow to wrath.”

By the way, what do most single Christians feel about the issue? They’re mostly apathetic and the vast majority date in traditional ways as their parents and grandparents did.

For our part, Christian Dating Service PLUS does not believe in the concept of casual dating because we feel:

• A romantic relationship should never be an end in itself, but should have the goal of working toward marriage. Additionally, if the couple are single Christians, we would expect that this relationship would be under the lordship of Jesus.

However, we also believe there is a place for traditional dating outside the teen years, and so don’t feel the courtship and dating issue needs to be couched as an either/or proposition. The best of dating and courtship can be combined.

Are you a singles pastor or Christian single with a different take on casual dating and courtship? Please help other singles sharing your views on courtship and love.

Related Links:

Kissing an Online Christian Dating Service Hello

Return to Christian-Dating-Service-PLUS Home

Dating after divorce for Christians is wrought with theological and emotional minefields. So before discussing dating tips for the newly divorced, let us express our simple views on what we feel the Bible teaches about divorce and remarriage. A future article will discuss this in depth.

The bottom line is God hates divorce (Mal. 2:16), and desires couples to reconcile if at all possible. However, under certain circumstances where there has been unrepentant infidelity, the offended party may divorce and remarry. Of course, no one remarries without first going through a dating or courtship process.

Finally, we believe dating after divorce should never be an end in itself, but should be part of a process that leads toward a lifelong commitment in marriage. Okay, ready to talk about some dating tips?

Dating After Divorce Tips

Take it Slow

Hello? You’ve just experienced the death of a relationship that you thought would last forever. You NEED time to grieve and heal. What we teach folks in Family Divorce Court classes is that they should do their best to avoid a dating after divorce relationship for at least one year after their divorce. Why?

• Because you need to reacquaint yourself with who you are as a single person. For so long you may of thought in terms of “us”, but you are now alone. It’s a time for soul searching, taking stock of what went wrong and seeking the Lord for new direction in your life (Proverbs 3:5,6).

• Not dating during this period of adjustment will save you from making stupid, impulsive mistakes. Remember, whether you admit it or not, you are in a vulnerable, needy state, and your self esteem has taken a beating. You could be taken advantage of during this time, and hearts could be further broken.

• Even though you may be doubting your appeal to the opposite sex at this time, getting into rebound relationships will only delay your healing process. That’s a fact. Furthermore, statistics show that the vast majority of people who date shortly after a separation and/or divorce have a difficult time remaining sexually pure, make regrettable moral choices and tend to repeat prior relationship mistakes.

• When you are finally ready to date again, you may want to consider the benefits of online dating. By starting online, you can proceed at your own pace in the safety of your own home.

Think of your children first

If you have children, the very worst thing you could inflict upon them is dating before you and they have properly healed and acclimated to a new way of life. Most kids dream about mommy and daddy getting back together again. That’s why they need time to face reality. When the time does come to introduce the children to your dating partner, this article on single parents dating and their kids may help.

Join a support group

There are many Christian singles groups specifically designed for the newly divorced, whether they have children or not. These can be a wonderful help to you and your family. Groups like DivorceCare.com meet all over the world and offer emotional and spiritual support. Here you can also meet people in your area who are struggling with similar dating issues.

If you are a single divorcee or Christian with views to share on dating after divorce, please help other singles by voicing your comments.

Return to Christian-Dating-Service-PLUS Home

You’ve decided to give online Christian dating a try. Great! But unless you’re really sold on one particular online Christian dating site, the dating advice here is to diversify by using several dating services. There are several positive reasons why you would benefit by using more than one Christian dating service.

Why Try Several Christian Dating Sites?

Dating advice: You can compare sites for FREE before buying

You have nothing to lose by way of money because most online Christian dating sites offer Free trial memberships that allow you to test out their services without obligation. Taking advantage of free trials alllows you the opportunity to test drive before buying into one Christian dating site. (In fact, all the sites listed on our sidebar offer some form of free membership).

As you compare dating services, take into account such things as the cost, the number and location of Christian singles in the database and how user friendly the service is. For example, unless you’re into long distance relationships, what good is a dating service to you if the nearest potential soulmate is half way around the world?

By checking out each service, you will become educated on what makes a good online Christian dating site, and save yourself heartache and time in the long run. This also makes sense when you think about how expensive full membership costs are on some of these sites.

Dating advice: You will meet more available singles in your area

It’s really simple: The more you expand your base, the greater the chance of meeting that special mate. By putting your “eggs in one online dating service basket”, you limit the number and quality of potential matches. For example, one Christian single friend of mine got completely turned off after using eHarmony because they only matched her with one person, and he lived 3000 miles away! Take advantage of the online Christian dating sites that allow you to search the databases for singles in your area.

Dating advice: You can tweak your profile and picture layout

Two of the most important things to get right is writing your dating profile and submitting a decent picture of yourself. This is really a science and an art. If you fail in any of these areas, you will get few responses and have a poor online dating experience.

Joining up for free trial memberships at various Christian dating services allows you the ability to test out your profile and picture layout in different ways. This will allow you to determine which works best for you.

Are you a single person with online dating advice about Christian dating services? Please help other singles by sharing your online dating experiences.

Return to Christian-Dating-Service-PLUS Home

Many singles have a difficult time dealing with loneliness. This is especially true in cases where the single person had suffered a recent dating relationship break up, divorce or sudden loss of a loved one. Whatever the reason for loneliness, some singles feel as if their whole existence has become an empty and meaningless experience.

My dear brothers and sisters, if you are suffering this kind of lonliness, there are several practical steps you can take to help ease your pain.

5 Steps for Defeating Loneliness

Remember that God Knows Your Pain

Sometimes we feel no one understands the loneliness we are suffering. But you are not alone in your loneliness because the Lord is with you. More than that, Jesus Himself suffered loneliness and rejection, and because of that is able to empathize and sympathize with your suffering (Hebrew 4:15,16). Go to Him in prayer, and He will meet you in your need.

Keep Busy by Finding a Personal Hobby or Interest

When we experience loneliness, it’s easy to want to isolate ourselves and go into a shell. But this only makes our loneliness and depression worse.

Instead of retreating, make a schedule of your day, and chalk in some enjoyable activities to fill in your free time. Be creative, and try something new and exciting. You may not “feel” like doing this at first, but positive feelings will soon flow from your actions.

Volunteer Your Time at a Charitable Organization

One of the best medicines for loneliness is ministering to others who are in need. I don’t understand it, but a certain level of healing occurs when we take our eyes off of ourselves, and reach out to others who are hurting.

There are a huge number of worthwhile charitable organizations in the world. Volunteering at such places as a homeless shelter, World Vision, the Salvation Army or say, Habitat for Humanity, is a great way to show Jesus’ love in practical ways. It also helps takes our minds off our own problems while bringing us much needed contact with other people. It’s a win-win proposition.

Join a Christian Support Group

We all need a little help from time to time. Christian singles groups offer many benefits including great fellowship, spiritual guidance and loving support from singles who are probably going through similar struggles with loneliness. Many singles have also met their special soulmates through these types of groups. Finding one in your area of the world is as easy as doing a Google search. At Christian dating Service PLUS, we are actually in the process of listing every known Christian singles group under the sun, so if you have such a group let us know.

If you have special needs, such as you have just suffered a divorce, or have lost a loved one, www.divorcecare.com and www.griefshare.org are international programs where you may find help.

Keep Perspective on Your Loneliness

Finally, remember that everyone experiences loneliness, whether they are married, single, young or old. It’s simply a part of life. As the Scripture states: “There is a time and place for everything under the sun.” The important thing to recall is that, in the vast majority of cases, loneliness is a temporary experience. The Lord will provide you with all you need in regard to a relationship. Hang in there because He will never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).

Furthermore, as Christians, we know that He works all things together for our good (Romans 8:28). Therefore, in the long run, loneliness can be a blessing in disguise if it causes us to run into the arms of God and makes us more thankful for the little things in life. Oftentimes, God meets us in special ways through our loneliness.

Are you a Christian single or minister with other thoughts? Please help other singles by sharing your insights on loneliness.

Return to Christian-Dating-Service-PLUS Home

A famous 50s break up song gives us this little bit of dating advice on how to break up: “Breaking up is hard to do.” No, ya think?

Whether you are a Christian single couple in a courtship or an online dating relationship, how you break up a relationship will be emotionally painful for both of you. If you are contemplating a break up of your dating relationship, considering the following dating advice may help you avoid a wrong decision, while making it as easy and painless as possible.

6 Dating Advice Tips on Break Ups and Ending a Relationship

Ask the Lord for wisdom ( see James 1:5)

As a single Christian, praying for guidance and wisdom in the matter of a break up should be the very first course of action before making any dating decisions. You will be less likely to make a mistake if you do so.

Discuss the break up possibility with family and friends

God often leads through our parents’ dating advice, even if they are not Christians. Proverbs teaches that there is wisdom in using a multiplicity of counselors, so also discuss the possibility of a break up with trusted Christian friends. They may very well give you some much needed advice that helps you make a decision, or puts the relationship in a completely different light. Be sure to use these valuable resources.

Be honest, but speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15)

Never bash your dating partner personally, which will only hurt them even more and affect their self worth for quite some time. Do you really want to do that? Instead, tenderly explain why you feel God’s leading you to end the relationship. As you do this, remember the “Golden Rule”, and how it would feel if someone was breaking up with you.

While face to face conversation allows for far better closure, if that is not possible, a handwritten letter is the next best thing. A typed or emailed “Dear John” letter is seen as cold and mean.

Don’t delay the inevitable

Okay, you’ve prayed over the break up. You’ve discussed the issues with family, minister and friends. You know what you need to do. Delaying the obvious now will not only cause more pain for both of you, but will delay the healing process. By acting now, you give the Lord opportunity to begin leading both of you to the soulmates He has in mind.

Many delay break ups because they may be using the other person until “something better” comes along. Another reason for delayed break ups is that the other person is manipulating by putting the person who wants the break up on a “guilt trip” to remain in an unhealthy dating situation.

Make a clean break

Right, this is going to be hard, but you must be strong here because it is in the best interests of both to move forward. This means after the break up there should be no face to face meetings (if possible), no emails, telephone calls, letters, etc. While some couples may agree to remain friends, the data suggests that in over 90% of breakups, this fails miserably, and only lengthens the healing process.

Learn from the dating experience

Use this dating experience to learn from your mistakes, and build on the future. What has the Lord taught you about yourself? What has he taught you about what you need in a husband or a wife? If you’ve sexually sinned in this relationship, remember Jesus forgives and cleanses (1John 1:9). Finally, thank Him for the bright plans He has for you (Jer. 29:11).

Are you single with dating advice to share about break ups? Feel free to comment here.

Related Posts:

Dating Tip: Learning How to Argue and Fight

Dating Advice: When to Dump a Dating Relationship

Christian Singles Secrets

Return to Christian-Dating-Service-PLUS Home

According to the Barna Research Group, single adults, 90 million strong, are the most unchurched group of people in the USA. Single adult church attendance in Europe and Australia are even lower. Here is some single adult info we found intriguing:

• Less than 20% of single adults attend Christian church services or small groups on any given day of the week.
• Single adult men are far less likely (15%) to attend a meeting than single women (23%). (I guess this is why I frequently hear Christian single women lamenting, “Where are all the single men? The only nice guys in our church are already taken.”)
• 54% of all single adults claim faith in Christ Jesus.
• Nearly two-thirds of single adults feel church has nothing to offer them.

As someone who has a passion to reach singles for Jesus through church planting, these findings are as sad as they are interesting.

What’s going on here? The bottom line truth is the vast majority of single adults, both Christian and non-Christian, not only feel alienated from church, they also think it irrelevant to their needs.

Meeting Single Adults Where They Live

In order to minister to single adults, we must meet them on the level of their need. What are single adults looking for? Most singles yearn for a mate, and intimate relationships with others and God.

In answer to this need, we not only started Christian Dating Service PLUS to provide dating advice and reviews of some of the top dating services Christians use, but also to be a resource hub to help single adults connect with other singles while learning about the Lord.

We feel the most relevant and safest place to grow relationships is through Christian singles small groups. That’s why we are in the process of listing every known Christian single adult group under the sun. Finally, we are also partnering with single adult ministers and other singles to bring single adults relevant and practical articles about the single life.

How can you you help other single adults? Contact us to list your own single adult group in your area. Also consider helping other single adults by submitting articles or making comments of the dating reviews listed on this site.

Return to Christian-Dating-Service-PLUS Home