Paradoxically, many single women and men who yearn to get married often allow fears and phobias to keep them from that very goal. Furthermore, instead of meeting the love of their lives, they end up battling feelings of loneliness and frustration.

So just what are some of the top fears single women and men face? A survey of several hundred singles revealed the following:

Top 3 Fears of Single Women and Men

Fear of Rejection

Some single women and men are scared of reaching out to singles of the opposite sex for fear of being rejected by them.

Most singles who have this kind of fear and trepidation are gentle and sweet people. Unfortunately, they often transfer their own negative feelings about themselves onto others, thinking that the person they are interested in dating feels the same way.

Everyone is a loser with this kind of fear. The other single guy or girl the fearful person is attracted to will never know it, and the single with the fear of dating will never experience what he or she is missing.

Fear of Being Vulnerable

Closely connected to the fear of rejection, some single Christians hold their feelings so close to themeselves that others can never get to truly know them. Did you ever meet someone like that? They will only let you get so close, and then they mysteriously back away. You may have had an interest in getting to know them better, but their fear of being vulnerable precludes any possibility of a meaningful relationship.

This kind of fear keeps a single person from connecting emotionally and spiritually with others. Since the ability to be vulnerable is a necessary ingredient in successful dating or marriage relationships, the person who is afraid in this area experiences many missed opportunities or shallow and short, unsatisfying relationships.

Many Christians singles who are fearful of opening up to others on a heart level come from abusive backgrounds, such as adult children of alcoholics.

Fear of Change

Many single women and men alike remain single because they fear moving out of their comfort zones by taking faith filled risks. Singles who fear change are creatures of habit, and feel safe with the “same old” ways of meeting people to date. For example, using online dating services, even if shown to be beneficial, would be a very scary experience if they never tried one before.

We all would agree that change can be a scary experience. However, single women and men who have a fear of change naturally limit themselves in the ways they can meet a mate or date.

What God Says About Fear

The Lord has an awful lot to say about fear. One of the main things that jumps out at you as you read the Scriptures is that God continually admonishes us not to fear.

For example, in a New Testament passage in Mark 5:36, Jesus encourages a father whose daughter was ill: “Don’t be fearful, just believe.” How interesting! On the one hand we have fearfulness; on the other we have belief and trust. If you really think about it, faith and fear cannot coexist. One will have to give way to the other.

Overall, if you are a single Christian woman or man struggling with fear issues that are holding you back from from meeting your soul mate, take cheer! You are definitely not alone in your fears, and there is help for you. We suggest you pray over the following suggestions:

• Talk about your fears with a reputable Christian counselor, singles group pastor or trusted friend. Oftentimes, speaking about our fears with someone else brings us back to reality and gives us hope for the future. The advice they offer could also be liberating.

• Let God’s word and Spirit soothe your heart and fears as you look up and meditate on what He says on the topic. Here are a few paraphrased verses to get you started:

Psalm 34:4: The Lord is able to deliver you from all your fears.
Isaiah 51:7: Do not fear the reproach of others or be terrified of their insults
Proverbs 29:25: Fear of men (whether they be single or not) is a snare.
Joshua 1:8: Don’t be afraid or discouraged because God is with you.
1John 4:18: God has a perfect love that casts out all fear.

Finally, if you are a single woman or man with further advice on the topic of fear and dating, please consider helping other singles by sharing your comments about fear.

Related Post:

Fear of Being Alone as a Single Christian

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An appealing online dating screen name is essential because it’s the first and only thing potential dates will see before deciding whether or not to read your dating profile. It’s really very simple: The greater the number of clicks from your screen name to your profile, the greater number of opportunities you will have of meeting your soulmate.

Unfortunately, many christian singles put tons of time into writing a great dating profile, but make up their screen names and/or taglines as a hasty after-thought.

That’s why following this dating advice on screen names may help you improve the number of potential daters who click on your online dating personal ad.

Dating Advice: Screen Name Checklist

Consider Your Target Audience

Remember that the goal of your screen name should not be to attract everybody, but only the kinds of Christian single girls or guys you think would make a good mate.

Browse the Competition

No, it’s not cheating. And yes, it’s one of the best ways to build upon any original idea for your own screen name. So check out several dozen screen names you find attractive, and ask yourself what it is that makes those screen names or headlines such a draw. Once you do that, you will most likely have a couple of neat ideas.

Give Them a Reason to Choose You

A screen name can be an introduction of your heart to others. So put within your screen name a positive quality about yourself that your target may find attractive. Have fun thinking about this, and recall that humor goes a long way.

Stay Away from Generic Screen Names

What do we mean by that? A screen name so overused and unoriginal that it just makes people flip right by it. These kinds of screen names will not only give a single person a reason not to look at the personals profile, but will also give others the impression that the single who wrote it is boring and uncreative.

As a sidebar, you could also try rotating different screen names among different dating services, and test which ones get more attention.

Use Correct Capitalization

Are we taking a grammar test? No, but setting up your screen name in a way that makes it easier to read will help get you more clicks to your profile. So, if you’re using a screen name with several words put together, try to capitalize only the first letter of each word. If the online dating site allows you to put a (-) between words, you could try that as well. I don’t think we have to remind you NEVER TO USE ALL CAPITALS, RIGHT?

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Online European dating popularity is definitely growing, as people throughout Europe have become more familiar with a variety of dating services, like ChristianMingle and the different benefits they may offer singles seeking a soulmate online.

Online Dating in Europe, Asia and U.S.

European dating service name recognition has come largely through word of mouth, viral marketing, Christian singles groups, the hundreds of different online dating sites and the massive media campaigns of services like:

Meetic UK
ChristianMingle.com

Christian Cafe
Christian Cupid- Asia, South America, UK, Africa, Australia, Europe, Russia
eHarmony
Perfectmatch
FREE Yahoo Personals

In the U.S. at least, it seems we can’t get through an evening of watching TV or listening to the radio without getting an online dating service personals ad. All this marketing must be working because Pew Internet Research reports that over 37% of all singles (Christian singles included) looking for a date, and 11% of all web surfers, have clicked onto online dating sites.

Presently, 15% of USA adults (that’s over 30 million people) claim they know someone who is either married or in a long term dating relationship on account of using an online dating service.

In Europe and Asia, online dating is currently growing at an even faster rate than in the US. A little more than five years ago, online dating in such countries as the Netherlands, the UK, France, Italy, Japan, China, Korea Russia and Germany was relatively unknown. Today, European dating singles have definitely fallen in love with online dating and matchmaking services. According to Meetic, the leading Europe dating service, multiple thousands of European single people (including Christian singles) are signing up daily for their free trial memberships.

Overall, whatever European dating site, you choose to use, make sure you understand what each online dating site has to offer. Since most offer risk free trial memberships, we recommend checking out a number of dating sites in order to compare the positives and negatives.

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Millions of Christian singles use many different kinds of online dating sites in their search for that special soulmate. The simple reason for this is that there are over 1000 different dating services worldwide.

Therefore, it’s not only important for single Christians to be up to snuff in knowing what makes up a good or reputable online dating site, but also to be educated on what kinds of online dating sites are out there.

Traditional Online Dating Sites

These kind of online dating sites were the first of their kind and came with the advent of the commercial internet in the mid 90’s. Match.com is the oldest and largest of this dating genre, which also includes others like AmericanSingles, Yahoo Personals and PerfectMatch.

Traditional online dating sites do not cater to one specific singles demographic, but advertises with everyone in mind. While these online dating sites do not purport to be “Christian dating services”, many Christians do use them because the large search databases makes it easier to find a Christian mate locally.

Online Niche Dating Sites

As the dating market began getting saturated with traditional online dating sites, online niche dating sites began appearing on the web. An online niche dating site is a site that caters to specific characteristics, beliefs, interests or hobbies of particular singles. For example, say you love animals and want to date other singles who do too. No problem! Just go to DateMYPet.com, and they’ll set you up.

Online dating sites that largely market to Christian singles would include among others: EHarmony, Christian Cafe, Christian Mingle and SingleC-Single Christian Network.

Online Matchmaker Dating Sites

These dating sites are not pure online dating sites in the normal usage that we are familar with, but use the internet to market their matchmaker services. In fact, they have been around for decades before internet dating became in vogue.

What these services offer is one on one help from a professional matchmaker, who interviews and matches clients with the kind of love match they are looking to meet. An example of these kind of services you find online is Great Expectactions. Just know that if you decide to use a matchmaker dating site, you will pay a handsome fee for their services. Is it worth it? I don’t think so, but only you can tell.

Social Networks

If you’ve heard of MySpace, then you are dealing with a social network. They are not primarily online dating sites, but you can definitely meet other singles on them. There are several Christian social networks online that you may be interested in checking out.

Overall, this article was a simple overview of the kinds of online dating sites Christians use. If you are a Christian single interested in looking for a mate online, we recommend diversifying your efforts by comparing several dating services. Most of these services are either free or offer some form of free trial memberships.

Finally, the issue is not whether you can meet other Christians on these online dating sites, but which one you feel best suits your needs and beliefs as a follower of Jesus.

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Christian Resources

• CrossDaily.com - has a Web Search where you can vote for this site & other great ones. Christian search engine, directory & voting index. You’ll find Bible, chat, churches, jobs, music, reviews, software, theology, & more. See the best sites!

• CrossWalk Directory

• Christian-Life-Advisor.com - Christian life advice about every day issues. They include advice on men’s accountability, daily devotions, job search, Bible study tools, dating tips, downloading Christian music, Christian shopping, video game reviews, and more.

• Christian eBuy-Fastest growing Christian search engine on the web

• Amazing Bible-A mega-site of Bible, Christian & religious information & studies, doctrine, news, prayer, prophecy, sermons, spiritual warfare, statistics, tools, and tracts.

• myChristianweb.com
• Highway777.com-A guide to the Christian Web
• A Place of Worship-God wants us to worship Him in Spirit and in truth. We need to change and be renewed. Share you testimony, Prayer request and scriptures that changed you to help change others.
• 123Greetings- Free greetings for the planet
• Index-it.net -A internet web directory for public use.

Dating Related

• ChristianCupid.com - Christian dating, Christian singles - An exciting new Christian dating and personals site for single Christians seeking love and dating
• Online Dating Services and Personals for Singles - The most fun, interactive dating destination on the net - Over 4,000,000 members - Sign up FREE!
• Christiandatingsearch Christian Dating, Singles, and Personals - Your one stop site for online dating.
• Singles Search a one stop romance resource directory for single people
• DatingScoop.com-Online Dating and Personal Ads
• Online Dating-Find Local Dates-Dating Match Finder is dedicated to helping you find your perfect dates.
• Online Source for Christian Singles-Dating by Integrity Christian Singles Network.
• Dating Alert Love Links- Dating reviews for American singles with links to love and romance across the globe.
• Christian Dating †Christian Dating Sites-Online Directory of Christian Dating Sites featuring in Britain
• Internet Dating- America’s singles directory
• Reystar Online Dating-Free dating sites directory for singles. Online Dating and Romance, Advice,
• Dating Directory Review - Featuring popular online dating, personals & matchmaking site reviews, dating advice
• Socionics Dating This site features a new special method for finding that perfect someone. Someone ideally suited for long-term relations and marriage. All in harmony with your personal character.
• We list popular christian dating services where you can find singles who are searching for christian partners for love and friendship.

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Stress reducers for single parents? That sounds great considering the many stress related symptoms some Christian single parents live with daily. Let’s see, there’s financial stress, job stress, dating stress, single parenting stress, custody and child support stress. Ugh! I’m getting stressed out and anxious just thinking about it all!

As single Christian parents, it is important to know how to reduce or relieve stress in your life. The following stress reducers may help give you some relief.

7 Top Stress Reducers for Single Parents

Stress Reducer #1: Surrender Your Life to Jesus

It’s really true. When we place our trust in Jesus as Saviour and Lord, He promises to forgive us all our sins and take our burdens and stress. How can you beat that?

As Christians we sometimes forget that God is really real, and He wants to meet us in our need. So go ahead, lay your stressful single parent issues on Jesus (1Peter 5:7) and leave them with Him. He can handle it.

Stress Reducer #2: Take Charge of Finances

I feel like a hypocrite talking about this stress item, but it’s really important. Most single parent households are stressfully living in debt and beyond their financial means.

Fortunately, their are many Christian ministries that can help relieve stress in this area of your life. For example, I found a neat stress reducer in Crown Financial Ministries (Crown.org). This ministry offers tons of free advice and articles on how to save money, get out of debt and manage your budget. The ministry also has a radio broadcast you can access through the web. Check it out, and reduce your agida and stress simultaneously.

Stress Reducer #3: Get a Support Sysytem

We all need each other because God created us for fellowship. This is especially true if you are a single parent carrying around a bunch of stress. Christian singles groups offer many benefits for single parents. Other helpful groups include Divorce Care (divorcecare.com), a free international Chrisitan support group for divorced singles with kids.

Another simple way to reduce stress is to create your own network of friends, neighbors and relatives to help give you a break from time to time. I know of a group of several single parents who have teamed up to rotate child care and shopping responsibilities for each other. This plan is relieving stress for all parties.

Stress Reducer #4: Create a Daily Routine

In line with what we teach in parent education classes, having a daily routine is a great stress reducer for you and the kids. This is especially true for the children if you have recently gone through a stressful situation like a death of a loved one, divorce or even a move to a new town. Daily routines put normalcy and safety into stressful lives.

Stress Reducer #5: Be Consistent with Parental Discipline

Kids need to know the rules and boundaries of the household. They also need to know that their parents will uphold the rules. Children living in single parent homes with no clear or consistent rules are often stressed out, maladjusted and rebellious.

Stress Reducer #6: Live and Let Live with the Other Parent

Many times single parents have ongoing disagreements with the other parent over custody, visitation or child support calculations. As a person who has worked in Family Court for over two decades, I know this is a major cause of stress in a single person’s life. However, you can reduce your stress in this area by coming to a mediated custody/support agreement with the other parent. When the parents are united on custody related issues, the kids also suffer less stress related ailments.

Having a successful mediation means you can avoid court, additional legal fees and keep your kids from getting into the middle of a stress mess. Doesn’t that make you feel less stressed already? Well, here’s one other bit of good news: Most Family Courts offer some form of free mediation to their clients. Before spending wasted money on an attorney, contact your local jurisdiction to see what the options are.

Stress Reducer #7: Take Care of Yourself

You do your children no good if you are stressing, and having no joy in your life. So pencil in some free time (don’t laugh) for yourself to enjoy some activities you like. If that includes dating, make sure you understand the issues of single parent dating with kids in order to avoid additional stress.

In addition, we all know that eating right and exercise can greatly reduce stress and release anxiety-killing endorphins into your bloodstream.

Overall, we have just touched the tip of stress reducing ideas for single parents. If you have any other stress reducer tips, please help other singles lessen their stress by making a comment.

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Some single Christians have no problems attracting a man or woman to date. Especially when using an online dating service like eHarmony.  However, attracting the right man or woman to date is often a separate issue. By the right man or woman to date, we mean that special person with whom you may wish to spend the rest of your life.  Your soul mate. Since you only marry a man or woman you date, it’s important to get it right. Right?

There are several practical steps we can take in order to attract the right kind of man or woman to date.

5 Keys to Attracting the Right Man or Woman to Date

Seek the Lord in Prayer

Yeah, I know we heard this all before, but really, God will hear your prayers, and provide for all of your needs (Phil. 4:19). I know some single Christians are frustrated because they have been praying for a mate, and nothing tangible has been happening. But please don’t give up hope for that special man or woman to date.

The Scriptures state that at just the right time God sent forth His son to save us. (Gal. 4:4). So, if God the Father gave us Jesus, will he not graciously give us all things? (Romans 8:32). The answer to that question is a resounding YES! In the meantime, wait on God, and learn to have contentment as a single person.

Love (Accept) Yourself

Jesus told us to love others as we love ourselves. The bottom line is we can’t love others the way God wants (including your our date or mate) until we love ourselves.

Loving yourself has little to do with self-esteem, but all to do with “God-esteem.” What do I mean by that? It means looking at yourself the way God sees you. He says you were wonderfully and fearfully made (Psalms 139), and He thought well of enough of you to die for your sins while you were still a sinner (Romans 5:8).

So here’s my question for you? Can you love and accept yourself as God loves and accepts you, warts and all? If you do, this is a very atttractive quality to the opposite sex. If you can’t accept yourself, potential dates will most likely be turned off as well.

Be the Real You

This means letting others see the real you, not the man or woman you think they want you to be. The reason you should just be yourself is that you want your date to want you just for being you. That way there’s no pressure to keep putting on an act. By the way, keep this in mind if you are writing an online dating profile. Remember, changing yourself to meet your date’s or mate’s criteria is not only stressful and dishonest, but it’s also a surefire way to doom a relationship.

Set Level Expectations

It’s good to make a list (with the help of family and friends who know you best) of the qualities you are looking for in a man or woman date, but just be realistic. I know many Christian singles who have remained single and lonely because they could never find anyone “good enough” for them. Do you get the picture?

Don’t Be Afraid of Rejection and Failure

The God you and I serve calls us to take faith-filled risks. Don’t allow fears to rule over your life. Trust Him to guide you in this area of your life, because you will never meet the right man or woman to date unless you take a chance by becoming vulnerable. Remember that most people, whether they are on a blind date or in a courtship relationship, have faced rejection at one time or another. The key is to trust God with your fears.

Are you a Christian single with thoughts to share on attracting to the right man or woman to date?

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As a Christian single who uses email in online dating services, you may have email etiquette questions. Say you’re interested in a particular person’s dating profile, and you want to contact them via email. However, you’re not sure what to say and how to say it. Don’t worry about it! If you follow these dating advice tips on email etiquette you will succeed.

Email Etiquette Tips

Email Etiquette Tip #1: Think Safety First

Familiarize yourself with online safety dating tips before even thinking about sending out an email or Instant Message to another single. Don’t give out your regular e-mail address too soon. If you do, make sure you have configured your internet email program to hide your name, in order to avoid unwanted address tracing. Once someone has your name, it’s easy to track your location.

Fortunately, a number of Christian dating services, like  eHarmony,Christian Cafe and SingleC (also known as Single Christian Network), take care of this potential problem by providing “inhouse” email and messaging systems for members to use.

Email Etiquette Tip #2: Speak the Truth in Love

As single Christians, remember that the foundation for all of our emails and online communications should be speaking the truth in love (Eph. 4:15) with wholesomeness (Eph. 4:29). And remember the goal is to attract a potential soulmate, not repel them. Let’s see, do you think this excludes cybersex?

Email Etiquette Tip #3: Have Something to Say

Whether you are meeting face to face or through email, having good conversation starter skills will help you connect with the other person, while helping you ascertain whether they are a match for you as well. This means you should write your email in the same easygoing way that you would speak to people in person.

Email Etiquette Tip #3: Keep it Real

If you are writing your first email, please, please don’t send a form letter. It’s not only tacky, but gives the impression that you don’t care. Believe me, singles can tell when they’ve been “spormed.” Instead, write a heartfelt email letter expressing what you liked about their dating profile, while adding a little background information on yourself.

Email Etiquette Tip #4: Always Leave Them Wanting More

You’re writing a dating letter not a novel, so keep it brief, warm and to the point. Make your sentences short, having no more than three or four to a paragraph. Also, make sure you double space between paragraphs because it makes your email less boring and easier to read.

Email Etiquette Tip #5: Don’t Leave Them Hanging

When you are on the receiving end of an email, it is proper etiquette to respond within 24 hours of receipt. Even if you do not have the time to respond as you would like, acknowledging the other party’s initial email with a little note, and explaining you will get back shortly is decent email etiquette. A response after 72 hours is considered rude.

Email Etiquette Tip #6: Remember the Golden Rule

If after having several email conversations with a potential mate, you decide to end the communication, appropriate etiquette would dictate that you send off an email explaining the situation. You would expect the same consideration if you were in their position.

Are you a single with email etiquette ideas or an email dating experience you would like to share? Help other singles by sharing your thoughts on email etiquette.

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