Broken Hearted: How to Mend a Broken Heart

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How to mend a broken heart for singles who are broken hearted?

Almost everyone has had their own “broken heart confession” of a lost relationship. A broken heart is a broken heart, whether that relationship was in a dating context or a marriage. All I can say is it’s one of the most painful things I’ve ever suffered.
While mending a broken heart takes different amounts of time for each person, the following points on how to mend a broken heart will be helpful to all single Christians.

How to Mend a Broken Heart Guide

Talk About Your Broken Heart With Those Who Care

One of the best ways to begin mending a broken heart is to talk about it. Talking about our pain helps us accept the reality of the situation, and guides us along in the healing process and dealing with guilt, if any

As Christian singles, the first person we should go to is the Lord. A beautiful promise is found in Psalms 34:18: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Tell your heavenly Dad where it hurts, and exactly how you feel. Don’t hold back anything because He is there for you, and can take whatever you throw at Him.

Beyond pouring out your broken heart to the Lord, getting involved in a Christian singles group, church fellowship, or support group will give you a safe place to share your painful experiences and receive love and support. Don’t feel that you can heal or mend your broken heart on your own. That’s just stupid pride, and will cause you to take longer to heal. We all need somebody from time to time.

Forgiveness Equals Healing

There is an amazing amount of healing power in being forgiven, or in granting forgiveness to someone who has wronged you. The power of forgiveness began at the cross of Christ, where He forgave us our sins. If you don’t understand what it means to be forgiven by God, please read how you can find peace with Him before continuing.

Forgiveness brings closure and cleansing, which speeds the healing of the broken hearted person. So if you wronged someone in a previous dating or marriage relationship, ask forgiveness. Whatever the other party does with that offer is not yours to worry about.

On the other hand, if someone has wronged you, don’t seek revenge (that’s the Lord’s to handle), but forgive from the heart. It doesn’t mean that you have now become a doormat for further abuse. Granting forgiveness to someone who has broken your heart does mean that you have decided to let go of the past and start a new beginning in your life.

Take Care of Your Body

Having a broken heart puts tremendous stress on your physical and emotional wellbeing. That’s why it’s important to eat right, drink plenty of fluids, exercise and find time for relaxation. Force yourself to do these things, even if you don’t feel like it, and it will help you overcome depression and feelings of low self-esteem. You’ll thank me later if you do.

Be Willing To Take Another Risk

Okay, your relationship didn’t work out, and you’ve been left with a broken heart. So take this time to evaluate where you can improve yourself for the future.

As a broken hearted single trying to mend, you are in a vulnerable state. That’s why you definitely want to avoid the dangers of a rebound relationship. This is especially true if you are a single parent dating with kids.

However, please don’t close yourself off to the possibility of romance. In the right time and place it’s a wonderful thing. In this regard, you may want to consider using an online Christian dating service because it’s a great way to ease back into dating on your terms, and at your own pace.

Are you a single woman or man with any additional advice on how to mend a broken heart?

Related Articles:

Dating After Divorce
Dating Advice: When to Dump a Dating Relationship

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Low Self-Esteem in Christian Singles

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Low self-esteem in some Christian singles is keeping them from finding a serious dating relationship. It’s really simple: If you don’t feel real good about yourself, you’re not going to think anyone else will either.

Sadly, problems with low self-esteem can not only effect our dating relationships, but all other areas of our life, including our emotional health. Single men and women with low self-esteem suffer more depression and discouragement, loneliness and anxiety in their lives than other people. These negative emotions feed a vicious cycle of withdrawal that only worsens low self-esteem. This makes me depressed just writing about this stuff!

To make matters worse, it seems many Christians feel confused when talking about self-esteem, somehow thinking it is “unspiritual” or self-centered to feel good about yourself. Of course, nothing could be further from the truth, as long as you understand from whence your strength comes.

Breaking the Chain of Low Self-Esteem

If you are a single Christian suffering from a poor sense of self worth, and are looking for ways to build self-esteem, allowing the truth of the following points to sink into your soul will help put you on the path to recovery:

Know That God Accepts You As You Are

The beginning of healthy self-esteem and emotional well-being is self acceptance. Being able to accept yourself starts with accepting God’s view of your worth as a person, and then gladly receiving what He has to offer.

• Do you hate who you look like? You shouldn’t because God said you were fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalms 139)
• Do you feel worthless and unlovable? God the Father says He loves you, and finds you so worthwhile that He chose His son to die on your behalf, even while you were far from Him (John 3:16, Romans 5:8).
• Do you feel guilty and unclean because of how you have lived your life? God offers complete forgiveness and cleansing from all past wrong.(1John 1:19), and a new beginning in life (2Cor 5:17).

Know That You Belong

Self-esteem suffers when we feel like there is no place we belong. A sense of belonging gives us a feeling that we are needed and wanted. This makes us feel good about ourselves, and loved at the same time..

God made us to experience this feeling of belonging and love through the forming of intimate relationships. The most important relationship you can have is with the Lord. In fact, Jesus’ prayer for His followers was that the same kind of wonderful relationship He had with His Father may be experienced by them too: “That they all may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You; that they also may be one in Us…” (John 17)

If you are a child of God, you belong in His family, and are dearly beloved (Col. 3:12). You are not orphans or paupers, but princes and princesses who will rule as co-heirs with Jesus. If you really believe this stuff, nothing will make you feel better.

Know That You Can Conquer Your Past

Many singles who suffer from low self-esteem have had past experiences (often in childhood) that have given them a tremendous sense of failure. This sense of “being a loser” is so agonizing that they fear taking risks in life. It’s fears like these that can keep women and men single.

However, part of understanding who we are in Christ is realizing that past failures and experiences no longer have a hold on us. We now have the power to conquer our past failures and fears through Him (Romans 8:37, 2 Timothy 1:7). The question that remains is whether or not you choose to change your negative pattern of thinking and acting. That power is all yours through Christ (Phil. 4:13).

If you are a Christian single whose low self-esteem has caused your dating aspirations to suffer, covenant with yourself and the Lord to start seeing yourself through His eyes.

Are you are a single person with something to share about low self-esteem?

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Marriage Builder Tips For Healthy Relationships

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As single Christians, knowing marriage builder tips while dating will lay the foundation toward a healthy marriage relationship when you’re ready to make that commitment. Working in Family Court, I’ve seen lots of unhappy and unhealthy marriage relationships that sure could have used marriage builder tips.

Not surprisingly, a University of Wisconsin study revealed that over 90% of our future happiness is related to the kind of mate we choose to date or marry. Therefore, having a healthy marriage relationship means you have a greater chance at enhancing your happiness.

As Christian singles, we know our true joy, which is eternal, remains in the Lord. However, our happiness, based on transient circumstances, can definitely be affected by poor relationship choices. With divorce rates running between 40 to 50% in the USA, Australia, Europe and Asia, many are nodding their heads in agreement.

Most of us pray for healthy marriage relationships. The following marriage builder quick tips point toward that goal.

Marriage Builder Tips for a Healthy Marriage Relationship

Marriage Builder Tip #1: See Dating as a Means to an End

It all begins with dating, but it should not end there. For single Christians at least, the primary goal of dating should be a healthy relationship culminating in marriage. Otherwise, if you’re really serious about keeping yourself sexually pure before the Lord, why even enter a dating or courtship relationship?

Marriage Builder Tip #2: Know What Kind of Person Makes For A Healthy Relationship

Part of finding a person that makes for a healthy relationship, is knowing and avoiding the kind that doesn’t. For example, single Christians dating unbelievers, or good Christian girls who date bad guys would fall into this category.

Unfortunately, most churches don’t teach singles (teens to seniors) how to attract the right woman or man to date or court. In fact, several reasons we started Christian Dating Service PLUS! was not only to provide informative dating articles in this area, but also to show others how they can meet more single Christians online by expanding their search base.

Marriage Builder Tip #3: Know What it Takes to Have a Healthy Relationship

It sounds too simple, but it’s really true. The more one knows the signs of a healthy Christian dating or marriage relationship, the more likely the chance of creating one. Doesn’t that make sense?

Related Articles:

Online Christian Dating Advice on How to Start
Online Christian Dating Sites Christians Use

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