Anger at Being Single-Dealing with Anger in Relationships
Many single women and men walk around with a lot of anger because they are still single long past the time they thought they would be married. Does being single at this time in your life make you angry?
Target of Anger in Relationships
One target of a single person’s anger is directed at God Himself because He has not brought that one true love into their lives. Frustration, jealousy and discouragement cuts deep into them as their closest friends and colleagues (even the ones we thought would nver find anyone!….I know, what a wretched, ungodly thought!) have found their dating match and have gotten married.
Secondly, many Christian singles have unresolved anger against a previous dating relationship partner. Perhaps they were in an abusive relationship, or got dumped for reasons they never understood. This kind of anger has caused a festering of bitterness and cynicism in their hearts, which has only fostered more anger.
Finally, many singles, including Christian singles, have directed anger against themselves for their dating failures and apparent inability to find a marriage partner. Anger turned inward often results in depression, anxiety and a host of other physical ills.
Bible Verse of the Day
In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.
Ephesians 4:26.27
If you are a Christian single today struggling with anger over being single, or at having a failed dating relationship, remember the following practical tips that could help you:
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Admit your anger, and understand the reasons why you are feeling this emotion. Admitting you are ticked off means recognising the emotional and physical signs of anger. This admission is the first step toward resolving the issue. Many Christians suppress anger and feel guilty when they experiencel this powerful emotion because they believe it to be sinful in and of itself. This is simply not the case according to the above verse.
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Restrain your anger by setting ground rules on it. Anger becomes a problem when it becomes uncontrollable. By not letting the sun go down on our anger, we are consciously taking control of our anger. This may mean honestly addressing the person we are angry at, and having a heart to heart talk about our feelings before things get out of hand. At other times restraining our anger may mean taking a long walk to blow off steam, or having a good prayer session.
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Understand the consequences of uncontrolled anger. The Scripture states that unbridled anger (rage really) results in giving the devil, your mortal enemy, a stronghold in your life. We see the results of this kind of anger all over the world today in places like Iraq, our respective workplaces and even our own homes. When we truly understand what is at stake when we allow anger to rule us, we will be more motivated to practice good anger management.
Are you a single Christian who has an anger problem?
Related Article:
Singles Dating Tips: Learning How to Argue and Fight
I appreciate that someone is writing about all this - I found this blog through one that talked about how Christian singles avoid activties and such at the church because it is all married couples and everyone is fascinated at why you are still single and that it must be something wrong with me and that they have no answers. Seriously, like I haven’t tried dating and praying about all this - they could maybe rack their brains of possible matches for me, right? Of course not, they have to worry about themselves. (Wow, maybe I do have a bit of anger..or bitterness or something about all this).
Anyway, I appreciate you writing this, and I dont think it is anger that I necessarily deal with, but loneliness and exhaustion from this journey. The verses of God’s plan and perseverance I believe, but are not really comforting anymore. Any suggestions on how to deal with loneliness while being single and waiting?
Nicky, thanks for the post. We are praying for you..May I humbly suggest 2 articles found here:
http://christian-dating-service-plus.com/singles-and-loneliness.htm
and also here:
http://christian-dating-service-plus.com/blog/christian-dating-and-waiting-on-god.html
I am with you Nicky! I feel the same way, but I am a bit angry at God. I am dealing with that though. I have been saved since 15 yrs old and I have kept myself pure. I am now entering perimenopause in my mid 30s sooooo yeah, I am a little upset. What is going on? Is God asleep up there? lol j/k Funny thing is it wasn’t a real concern until I started getting older and my biological clock started ticking. I can understand when you’ve only been saved a few years but it is going on 19 years! Hellloo! I am not content with being single anymore. It is also difficult because I am in a church of 3, one of which is me! So, no single people there and I am finding it difficult b/c I feel left out of all their mens and marriage couples’ seminars. I either need to be a man or a couple…I am neither so I am left w/o fellowship. I am trying to find a singles group to fellowship with but it is difficult.
If God wants me alone forever I wish he would take this cup from me and let it pass already. This is torture!
Anger at being single? Yup! Been there too. I’m a 33 yrs old male Christian. I’ve walked with the Lord for more than 17 years now. I’ve had comments that I might be “too picky”, but those comments generally came from acquaintances or Christians not involved in any ministry. So I took these comments for what they were worth and discarted them. My last relationship did’nt work precisely because I had too low standards. I have learned from the lesson an am now trying to apply more wisdom in my relationships with the other gender. It does not always come natural,but I try and have healthy and un-interested friendships with the other gender. Also, since I don’t know exactly for how long I will still be single, I try to put the spare time to some use. Besides tutoring youth at Christian camps, my target is to learn a new skill every year. Last year I took evening classes and became a goldsmith, this year I am training for a windsail license.