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Born-Again Christian Singles and Sex Struggles

The following was written by one of the many born-again Christian singles who write us weekly dealing with struggles over sex.  Some people have complained  that this “type of stuff” should not be on a Born-Again Christian singles blog. Our answer to these good folks is that if singles had  local churches they could go to to share their burdens, they wouldn’t have to come here:

I am a 23 year old born-again Christian woman. I have never been in a relationship with another person because I wish to wait for God to lead me to the right man. I have been masturbating since I was 18. I’ve never used pornography. I rarely use anything other than my hands to masturbate. I always masturbate to orgasm. I masturbate for two reasons:

1) to relieve my sexual desires. If I go for more than a month without masturbating, I start fantasizing about people I am not attracted to and sometimes, (this is even worse), I get dirty dreams.
2) to fall asleep! Believe it or not, an orgasm puts me to sleep right away! If I’m tossing and turning in bed and I know that I need a good night’s sleep in order to be functional the next day, then I will masturbate even though I don’t particularly want to.

Whatever the reason, I always struggle with guilt when I wake up the next morning. I know that my body is a temple of God. I want to reserve my sexual feelings for the person I marry (If God wants me to marry). But my desires are too strong for my will power. I have tried to ‘quit’ several times, but eventually the need always returns. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. I know that I can only free myself from masturbation if I completely surrender to the power of the Holy Spirit. Please pray for me.

Thoughts?

Bible Verse of Day

~Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ~ Galatians 6:2

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9 Responses to “Born-Again Christian Singles and Sex Struggles”

  1. steve galvez on April 21st, 2010 5:17 pm

    I haven’t been in a relationship in4 yrs.I found GOD thru my cousin,who was a wild woman in her youth.Now she has M.S.and has gotten even closer to GOD than ever. I talk with her openly ,about my sexual urges. They’re very strong because I am also disabled-and it’s very easy to fall into negative thinking.Porn on-line is a problem for me,I t’s very hard to fight it.I need a good Christian woman who understands.

  2. Rick on April 22nd, 2010 6:07 am

    We need to pray for this young woman’s deliverance from her masturbation addiction. Demonic influence and torment creates addictions like this and makes them hard walk away from.

    She will get free by understanding that Jesus already freed us from every kind of bondage and oppression, including sexual addiction and sin. Once she accepts this deliverance in the name of Jesus, she needs to pray and ask the Lord to work in her mind and soul, healing the emotional wounds that opened the door to this habit in the first place.

    There are many great spiritual warfare websites that help people deal with demonic oppression. The following have helped me:

    Keyministries.org (the audio & video messages on deliverance basics are helpful)
    Porn-free.org (this site includes spiritual warfare courses on quitting masturbation and pornography).
    Demonbuster.com

  3. maxi on May 29th, 2010 5:21 pm

    HELLO 23 YEAR OLD CHRISTIAN THE REASON WHY IT IS SO HARD TO STOP IS BECAUSE IT HAS BECOME A STRONGHOLD IN YOUR LIFE. IF SATAN CAN GET US TO SIN IN OUR MIND THEN HE HAS OUR BODY TO AND HE HAS CONTROL OVER US. THE REASON WHY U ARE SO EXHAUSTED AFTERWARDS IS BECAUSE U ARE BEING SPIRITUALLY DRAINED. THE ENEMEY WANT US TO THE WE ARE TIRED BECAUSE OF THE ORGANSM BUT REALLY WE HAVE GIVEN A PIECE OF OURSELVES TO SATAN AND SATAN IS OUT TO KILL STEAL AND DESTROY.WE OPEN THE DOOR TO DEMON TO COME IN AND ATTACK US,BECAUSE OF OUR SINS. NOTHING CAN SEPARATE US FROM GOD BUT SIN AND MASTURBATION IS A SIN,BECAUSE WE FIRST SIN IN OUR MIND AND THE BIBLE SAYS THAT IF WE THINK(PROVERBS 23;7) SISTA BIBLE SAYS WE CAN DO ALL THING THROUGH CHRIST. SIN (SATAN)HAS US THINKING THAT WE NEEDTO MASTURBATE IN ORDER TO GET TO SLEEP I KNOW I HAVE BEEN THERE.(A LIE FROM THE PIT OF HELL). GOD WANTS US TO BE FREE. EVERYTIME U FALL TO YOUR FLESH AND MASTURBATE U FEEL VERY BAD ABOUT YOURSELF AND U CAN NOT DO THE WILL OF GOD BECAUSE U FEEL BAD ABOUT MASTURBATING. SISTA IF SATAN CAN KEEP U FROM DOING GOD’S WILL HE WILL. SISTA U CAN GO TO CHURCH AND WORK IN THE CHURCH AND STILL GO TO HELL FOR THAT ONE SIN.SATAN JUST WANTS TO KEEP US DISTRACTED SO WE CAN BELONG TO HIM. SISTA I KNOW THIS FOR A FACT BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN THERE. TALK TO ABOUT YOUR MASTURBATION AND TALK AND TALK AND TALK AND LISTEN TO GOD AND READ YOUR WORD AS MUCH AS U CAN. WATCH YOUR MOVIES AND TV SHOWS U WATCH THAT CAN TRIGGER THOSE FEELING AND BOOKS THEY JUST REMIND U OF WHO OR WHAT U DO NOT HAVE. GOD BLESS U SISTA AND BE ENCOURAGE

  4. david on January 28th, 2011 12:28 am

    Honey Im so blessed by your honesty. Be;ieveme I have struggled with musturbation since i was 14. I am now 37.

    I am involved in christian ministry. born again and my testimony is available on request. i think you donot have to worry. All your sins past, present and future were nailed at the cross and are forgiven by God.

    Try to ask God for a husband and believe for the right man to fulfill the God given desires to have sex and procreate n reproduce.

  5. Joan h on March 31st, 2011 10:09 pm

    It’s not a sin to mastubate it’s natural and healthy and normal. That’s a load of crap with Satan stuff

  6. Sister in Christ on June 19th, 2011 10:29 am

    if masturbation is not a sin, then why do people feel guilty about doing it? is it not God’s Holy Spirit telling us it’s wrong? i think the best thing for a born-again Christian who is struggling with celibacy to do is make an effort to find another born-again Christian to marry and make love to. masturbation is not worth going to hell over. no sin is worth dieing and going to hell. it’s not the will of God for people to masturbate until He sends them that special someone. There’s nowhere in the bible that says it’s “healthy” to masturbate. Satan is lying to people about masturbation to fill up his kingdom. The act of masturbation is spiritually damaging to people who are trying to live a holy life. It is a stumbling block that Satan uses to hinder Christians from having an honest relationship with Christ. Jesus will always forgive you of your sins no matter what it is, but if you’re constantly struggling with the sin of masturbation, then you need to repent and ask God to help you find a husband/wife immediately. the bible encourages people who are struggling with celibecy to marry.

    In 1 corinthians 7:8-9, Paul says “I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I (celibate). 9But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.”

    Even if you don’t feel that you are ready to marry for whatever reason, you should do it if you are struggling with celibacy to save your soul from going to hell. I believe that it is OK for two Christians to marry if they are struggling with celibacy which may enable Satan to lead them to the sin of masturbation. Pray God gives you a partner who will satisfy your sexual desires so that you will never masturbate again. I believe that God will help your marriage in other areas as well.

  7. Esther Dickerson on August 23rd, 2011 5:40 am

    I can certainly identify with many women on this page. I am a 21, single, born-again believer. I have been struggling constantly for 2-3 years with masturbation. I am having so many problems because of it, both physically and emotionally, as well as spiritually, but I believe it has gone into the realm of being an addiction. I struggle with the guilt that comes afterwards, but the flesh is indeed so week and I have a hard time fighting off the temptations. I am a believer, like I said, but I am right now fighting off both these temptations and also the very real fear that I have become, as James the apostle stated, “a double-minded man”. The latter thought scares me, and increases the guilt. I know it is very wrong, but I think I sometimes feel afraid that I am going to always be single, no guy is ever going to notice me because of physical reasons, combined with the fact that there are very few Christian guys in my area that I have ever met, iand I am going to end up alone, with no one to be friends with or anything. I am also having a very hard time because I have nowhere to go for Christian counseling, I have not really got any friends right now that I can talk to about this, so I am basically stranded, one might say. I don’t know exactly where to turn right now, but I am so glad to see a Christian site that talks about this issue, and encourages believers in their fight. Please pray for me!! I would greatly appreciate your prayers during this time :) I am sorry I had such a long post! :/

  8. Frank Castle on September 21st, 2011 4:19 pm

    Once you decide that you want to give up masturbation, you have to identify why. And as a guy who struggled with masturbation for a long time, I can tell you that once you make it up in your mind that you are going to do the will of God and follow His commands, it becomes easier. I decided that I would rather obey our Father in Heaven than continue to feed to the cravings of my flesh. Cutting away the people and material that influence you are crucial. That means watching no more pornography, no more inappropriate internet searches, and just cleaving away sexual temptation from your eyes and hands. It gets easier! Days turn into weeks, weeks into months, and months into a lifetime. Don’t let satan keep his grip on you. Save your purity and do away with the old guilt. God forgives you if you repent, but the key word is ‘repent’ meaning to change. I’ve been celibate and sexually inactive for over a year now and I couldn’t feel better. I feel so strong in Christ Jesus and His strength and grace is sufficient enough for you as well to overcome the same obstacle. Be blessed.

  9. Patricia on November 25th, 2011 9:35 pm

    Wow, I am so glad that there are sites like these where a Christian (like myself) can go and recieve advice from their Christian brothers and sisters about their struggles! I am too struggling, my struggle is with sex before marriage. I am dating a Christian man that I met before becoming a Believer. He and I have been intimate lots of times and when I accepted Jesus-Christ as my savior we became celibate and really got in to his word. Its been hard since then I have to admit, my boyfriend and I failed to keep our word once and right after we sinned I cried I felt so guilty and asked for forgiveness he did the same also! When I feel those wrong urges I try to turn to the Lord and ask for guidance as much as possible because only He can vanish the demons that want me to fail. Please mention me in your prayers, God Bless and Thank you!

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