Comments on: Christian Singles and Sexual Impurity

By: katina

katina — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 07:30:09 +0000

In regard to sexual impurity and singles, the bible says that some things come by fasting as well as prayer. So I have seen that fasting helps with self control. Thank God the blood covers us and we do not have to live in condemnation because we are in Christ. I will fast and pray for all of us that continue in this struggle. I hope to hear from those who are successful with controlling sexual urges. It is funny I was delivered from smoking and I cannot smoke a cigarette. I wonder will I ever get to the point well I cannot commit fornication or adultery???? Or will it always be a self control type of thing? Any one out there in which the desire for sex has been taken away until your wedding day??

By: Leah

Leah — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 16:35:28 +0000

Hi Sunny, wow that’s deep, you really have to pray, pray, pray, we all fall short and want to please GOD, but its like our flesh get ahold of us and we get weak… but pray for deliverance, strength and selfcontrol, and when you fall short, REPENT, don’t ever give up on GOD, HE said in his WORD, I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU, NOR FORSAKE YOU, so His arms are always open. Remember PRAY. Stay strong and GOD BLESS.

By: Sunny

Sunny — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 12:23:14 +0000

I must be the worst christian guy because I’ve come from such a good family background and really given my life to God from an early age. God has given me a lot too. But I have done so many bad things and for all I know I will probably do them again. I regularly pay for sex. It started out once after my girlfriend broke up I was devastated and wanted to do the worst thing to myself that I could. And over time it became a way to deal with hurt and pain. But now its the only way I know to release my sexual charge. I’m also on prozac which seems to intensify my appetite (both for food and sex). Its hard in your mid-20s when the urges are so strong. I don’t have a girlfriend that I can even think about and I don’t think a girl will ever want to marry me. Even I try to live the single celibant life but can’t. I don’t know what to do. Obviously I ask for forgiveness but then a month later I sin again. Television doesn’t help all the commercials use sex. And friends just encourage me to be promiscious. The only good thing is that one of my female friends started hanging out. She’s very beautiful (both inside and outside) and I could control myself if I had hope that there was a future for us but I don’t think there is I just don’t want to sin and let Jesus down anymore.

By: angela

angela — Sat, 31 May 2008 15:12:01 +0000

hi,
am a damsel aged 20 and deeply defeated by sexual sin.

i remember in my early teenage days i kept chasity as my number one vitual,i valued the fact that i was a virgin and it really gave me so much pride. i can also say i lived most of my life single because of my belife that God would bring a Godly mate whom i would experince true sexual relationship only in the sacred bonds of marriage

But however as a grew both in statue and emotionally i began to change, this all happened when i had my first boyfriend whom i grew to love and treasure as he was my very first love,funny ha.Sadly his love for me dnt mount my love for him not to mention, he had lots of roses like me in his garden which was really a draw back for me, but by the grace of God i survered.

In my broken hearted state i resorted to living a single peaceful life,the goodness here was that he had not termpered with my virginity, well in short i was still a virgin and very proud of that fact.

However, i didnt remain in this innocent state for long becouse after a year of singlhood, i landed my self in another titanic relationship only that this time i …. well compromised and i can say it changed the course of my life both spiricially and emotionlly,waste still i ended up being dumped and this was a major set back coz not only had i lost my diginity but also my precious virginity.

i went for months blaming my self for bring so loose and vulnerable and really thinking guys were the same that it made me move to another town in serach for same diginity and same how, compaionship with same one who would cherise and love me unconditionally.

To my greatest delight i bumped into such a one, who seemed to be my dream guy,well let me just say he possesed the desired qualities not only for a boyfriend but for a father and husband, same thing i had prayed and waited for. Thus this time i promised myself and often prayed to God not to make the same mistakes i had made in the past( sexually).

As both belivers we avioded tempting situations which would ruin this blossoming realationship and often keep our distance but same how we couldnt just resist the temptation and ended up falling into sexual sin which was really a set back for both of us. However same how it has became a habite and a way of life which really a spiritual draw back for us.

pliz pray 4 us

luv sis in the LORD
Angela

By: Roberto

Roberto — Tue, 27 May 2008 14:13:45 +0000

I’m so happy that I found this site.
I’m a 27 year old single male, I got saved a year ago.( Everything that is bad I think I have done it from Fonication,Drugs,crimes you name it.)God came into my life and changed it completely. The LORD called me to minister his word for his glory.
But even do I Pray ,recieve revalations, evangelize,preach,baptized in the Holy Spirit and fire. I fall into sexual inmorality (masturbation to be exact).I go true days were I ask the Lord why did He choose me for this? His Mercy and His Love goes way beyond our understanding. Corinthians 1:27
27But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.

I acknowledge that disobedience is the cause of myself falling into sin because the Holy Spirit calles me to pray and I act like I don’t know is the LORD calling me.
Ephesians 4:30
30And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

Before giving my life to Christ,I got married for the “wrong reason”. Still legaly married but separated (we both cheated on each other. I don’t want to be with her no more,I love her and care for her but as far as getting back toghether I just can’t do it, I don’t like her as a wife.
I Struggle with lonelines, I pray to GOD for a saved women, Im tired of falling into sin(masturbation) My urges get so stong that i have actually orgasom without touching myself, I can’t even have a conversation with a woman without sexual desires coming to mi mind; and for some reason after becoming a Christian the “wrong females” come to me , I run from females because I know is Satan that send these females to me and wants me to fall into fornication,sometimes in groups. But yet I’m afraid to end up by myself with out kids.
I’m afraid of falling after what JESUS has done for me.(Philippians 2:7-8)
Please pray for me!

By: Santa

Santa — Tue, 27 May 2008 13:40:49 +0000

I really do need some prayer and support right now. I’m 29, and I became a Christian and gave my life to the Lord when I was 22. All these years I have lived a single life and I would pray that God would bring me a wife who loved him. I really do love Jesus. I’m an attractive guy and a lot of people don’t understand why I have never dated and am waiting on who God has for me. I told the Lord and made a vow to him once that I would wait until marriage…so for me it was 7 years of not having sex (I was only involved with one girl sexually from when I Was 19-21 before I knew the Lord.) Well just last night I ended up having sex with a girl I had met 2 weeks ago. I cannot believe that I even allowed myself to let this happen. My spirit feels grieved. I think and feel that I have dissapointed the Lord and I have been crying all day today… I don’t know what to do. I have repented but I worry that I will let myself fall into this situation again. After being single for 7 years I started to doubht God has anyone for me and I know that isn’t true but I really need to be strong right now. Please pray for me.

By: Ethan

Ethan — Sun, 18 May 2008 22:26:47 +0000

Me and my girlfriend have been in a relationship for about 7 months now and we are both strong Christians. We have talked about our sexual sin and how we need to keep our eyes on Gods plan, but being very attracted to eachother is really hard. not just physicaly attracted but also emotionaly, spiritualy. we are not having intercourse, but even touching over the clothes is something that we feel like we shouldnt be doing. We talk about marriage and how much easier we feel it would be because we dont struggle with wondering thoughts about other people. our biggest stuggle is physical stuff with eachother. we will mess up and then ask for forgiveness and then everything will be good for a few weeks but then we would get some alone time and at the time we both want it, but afterward we feel horible. is there some advice on how to flee from our sexual sin?? i care about this girl to much to lose her over sexual sin.
thanks

By: Rebekah

Rebekah — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 01:37:16 +0000

Wow this website is so encouraging.
My Bf and I are both christians and haven’t had sex but have done other things related to sex. We have once again put a stop to our actions but I am a little doubtful at how long it might last. We had agreed to visit our Pastor about our situation and then decided to give ourselves one more chance at stopping on our own. I guess Im just looking for prayer for strength and also just to unload the weight that our situation puts on me. When we do stuff I don’t necessarily feel guilty all the time but just know that its wrong and want to stop. Is it because I have become hardened in this area to God’s Spirit because we have done stuff for 6 months and it has almost become a norm for us?
Love a comment back
Thanks

By: David Butler

David Butler — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 23:45:52 +0000

CeeKay, thanks for those comments, sister!

Jolene:

Thanks for your honest sharing. Please do not be ashamed for several reasons: 1. We all struggle in this area at one time or another. 2. Remember the Lord created you as a sexual being with all those hormones you mentioned. Having sexual feelings and desires is NOT sinful. It’s how we channel our drive that matters. Rejoice and thank him for who He will provide for you in the future.

David

By: jolene

jolene — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 06:53:31 +0000

Hi all

I am a mom of 2. I am single for about 6 years now since I gave my life to Jesus. but i struggle with sexual impurity ie. masturbation. i am so ashamed. but i am battling this for years and no mate in sight. i ask GOd why i have to be in this situation. i go months on a high then i slump when my hormones get the better of me. however, i have noticed that its less frequent as i have immersed myself in GOD. I know the key lies in self control which I guess i lack. Pray for me

By: ceekay

ceekay — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 23:38:13 +0000

In regard to sexual impurity. I would like to agree with Samuel and a lot that he shared is true, and one of the things as single believers is to remember the scripture in Isaiah 41:10 where it says “Do not be afraid, for I am with you, dont be discouraged for I am your God, I will strengthen you and help you, I will hold you up with my victorious right hand” remember brothers and sisters that God is true to His word and He is a present help in trouble, so please dont get discouraged and feel like you have failed God, remember He knows what we are going to do before we do it, yet His love for us does not change, so when you fail and fall “Repent” He is just and faithful to forgive dont feel like you have repented so many times that you dont want to repent anymore, dont let the devil lie to you, the Blood of Jesus has made it possible for us to come to Him and ask for forgiveness as many times as we have to until we understand His love for us and get to the place where we dont do it anymore. Remember you have a Helper the Holy Spirit that helps us in our weaknesses so call on the His help and do not stay silent. A silent believer is a defeated believer so be open and honest with God about what you are going through. We are able to overcome because of Jesus. Stay encouraged.

Sister in Christ
CeeKay

By: Carolina

Carolina — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 17:55:02 +0000

Dear Ashley,

Regarding sexual impurity I am going through the same situation as you. I and my fiance love God and wants to please God. However, We are struggling a lot with our sexual purity. We are getting married in less than 2 months and this battle of sin is becoming very hard to control. I feel very ashamed with God and feel I don’t deserve forgiveness for falling all over again. I pray that God can forgive us and give us enough strength to overcome this battle of sin. This website has encouraged he because it let me know of what the Bible says that if we confess our sexual impurity and pray to God for forgiveness, we will be forgiven.

By: Malika

Malika — Sun, 09 Mar 2008 19:29:37 +0000

Hi guyz!!
Regarding sexual impurity, aAfter I read Kate and Grace’s replies, I was in tears…because I feel the shame they are feeling..I really do, because i too am a sinner…I have been sinner for too many years of my life..and the sad part is,iv been trying to leave my sinful life,but it just keeps on calling me back!!!…i am tired of carrying this sinful baggage on my shoulders…How do i stop this behaviour?…why do we so sin much?…
Dee

By: Ashley

Ashley — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 07:14:17 +0000

Hi All,

I’m nearly 22 yrs old and I’ve been in a relationship with my Christian boyfriend (who is 23) for over 6 months. This man is amazing but lately we too have fallen into sexual impurities. We both desperately want to stop and let our relationship being a bless to God but it’s like we literally can’t stop. Reading all of these comments is really helpful in how to fix this. Committing to Christ is really what is going to help us. We are both so in love with the Lord and I agree with Em in that it’s so hard to ask for forgiveness when we turn around and do it all over again. I feel so ashamed that I do that to my God. I just feel like someday he’s not going to give me anymore chances to redeem myself. I know this to not be true but I feel he’s really upset with both my boyfriend and I. The man I’m dating is one that I would love to spend the rest of my life with and we’re both dedicated to the fact of marriage but before any big steps can be taken or before our relationship can get any deeper we need to cut out our sexual impurities. I just need some lifting up and some words of wisdom. I feel so lost in this struggle. I beg for God to grant me the strength to stand up to sexual desires. I know in my heart this is what I want and I know that the Lord can see that in my heart. I just hope He believes me. I’m afraid if this continues my relationship with my boyfriend will end. We’re completely happy when we are sexually pure so why is it that we still commit sexual acts? We love to be with each other without being intimate yet we still fall. I need some encouragement.

God Bless,
Ashley

By: DarkPa1adin

DarkPa1adin — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 15:35:07 +0000

Hi everybody,

i’m a sinner like you. And i certainly do fall into terrible sexual immorality like viewing pornography, indulge in sexual imaginations/fantasies, as well as masturbate. Worst still, i know Scriptures. And it is true few years back, i did doubt that i was even not born-again. Like what you guys mention, “what’s the point of asking for forgiveness if i’m going to commit this sins later/in future?” And in time past, my understanding of genuine repentance is like that of King David, after his adultery with Bathsheba and never to commit adultery again. [something like “go and sin no more” as the Lord Jesus told the woman who caught in the act of adultery]

This year, i’m 20, i had pornography influence since before the age of 6 but after age of 4 iirc. and a lot of sexual immoral experience except fornication. Where as adultery, i did it in the mind (see Matthew 5-7, Sermon on the mount). No matter what sin great or small, is still sin. At the age of 15, went to a fundamentalist church and attended service/sunday schools. Being taught not to commit fornication many times, abstain from all appearance of evil and many more, yet still fall into sin as sometimes i want, i urge or resign to temptation.

Kate: strength and victory comes from God. But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. (Isaiah 40:31)

When we think we are alone, often time is we lack trust and believe. Jesus Christ gave the great commission in Matthew 28 ending 3 verses. He said “and lo, I am with you alway, even until the end of the world.” Although visibly we are unable to see physically the Lord Jesus Christ, nevertheless his presence can be felt if we are close to him.

Grace: Men are already condemned if not for the Lord Jesus Christ (in John 3:17-18) We need to thank God all the more that we are saved.

With regards to this quote, ‘ask God for forgiveness but keep doing it again and again, and feeling like there is little point in asking for forgiveness when I know that I may do so again.’ as cited above.

-Although i may be wrong in my explanation, but i just would like to suggest something that is, before we pray, we should ask ourselves that are we earnestly willing to change? little by little, one step at a time? Is there anything that we are holding back? (as according to 2cor 6:14-7:1) is there a change in our attitude towards sin? The answer to these questions may not be answered immediately, but is there a desire to answer them in your life? Many a times the problem lies in “do we trust in prayer? or do we pray believing in Jesus’s name?”

God would love to hear our prayers more than we want to pray. There is a commandment, Pray without ceasing 1 Thessalonians 5:17. By fulfilling this commandments certainly help us to get rid of our vain thoughts and our faithlessness. Remember the Parable of the prodigal son? Luke 15:11 onwards, how the father when he receive his son who went away(or so called “wasted”), rejoice. Our heavenly Father is the same, he would joy and rejoice for our return to him.

And lastly the things that touch me most is found in Jeremiah 3:22a. Return, ye backsliding children and I will heal your backslidings.

This is the faithfulness of God wanting us to go back to him.

Certainly for my case, even after knowing these Scriptures and once upon a time touched me, yet i still fall and capitulate into sins of masturbations and pornography due to not praying without ceasing (both formally and informally). And by keep on committing such active sins, it certainly makes me think that i’m unable to serve in various ministries as my life hasn’t been proven in my total submission to God. Although i know one thing that is we are all unworthy to serve God, it is by God’s grace that we serve him. nevertheless my walk with God isn’t good.

Even as i typed my comments i do feel miserable as i’m not right with God at this point in time. May God forgive us for his mercies’ sake.

This comment of mind is never to condemn or look down but to tell you that, you’re not alone.

Verses quoted from King James Bible
In Christ with love,
Samuel