基督徒选拔和性杂质
其中一件最难的事为基督徒选拔是剩余性纯净的。 没关系，如果您是一个唯一妇女或人，或者您是否相信求爱或传统约会。
是，剩余的性纯净，因为一个唯一基督徒是一次真正的争斗、一场用力拖o战争在我们发怒的激素之间和欲望和我们的阁下的计划我们的生活在这个区域： “它是上帝的意志您应该被神晟化，您应该避免性淫邪的那; 每一您应该学会控制他自己的身体用是圣洁和高尚的方法”。 (1Thes 4:3)
如果您是基督徒唯一奋斗与性杂质，您在一个或更多如此大概做着这些区域：
- 色情瘾
- 很好开始的基督徒约会的关系，但现在移交了入控制性一个
- 日常手淫
- 与别人的一个非法关系伙伴
Christain选拔’性罪孽和隔离
更多比多数其他罪孽，性罪孽倾向于是掩藏，少数紧挨我们知道的秘密罪孽我们做。 并且，由于性杂质的被察觉的困窘的本质，许多Christain选拔他们有没有何处为帮助转动以他们的性问题的感受。 另外，许多教会缺乏机制应付这样问题。
帮助为基督徒在他们的生活中选拔与性杂质
亲爱的唯一兄弟和姐妹，如果是感觉失去和独自在性杂质，和不看出口，让我提出以下建议：
记住多少上帝爱您。
虽然性杂质也许采取您在同伴关系外面与您天堂般的父亲，他的对您的爱未改变地依然是。 如果您在性罪孽现在居住，您是一个祷告从饶恕并且完成洗涤(1John 1:9)。 他的您的心脏的欲望是完全恢复和重建您与他的亲密的关系。
了解对性的上帝的透视。
嘿，我爱性，并且我希望您也是。 但问题的事实比我们是上帝爱性。 Afterall，他认为它，正确？
大多数我们听见上帝不是扫兴的人，当它来到性时(参见Solomon歌曲)。 ，因为它是发明者，他要我们享受他创造它的充分的目的。 It’s a wonderful and exciting expression of love within the bonds of marraige between a man and a woman. When we settle for anything less than this, we cheat ourselves.
Find a Christian singles support group for sharing and accountability.
The Scriptures tell us we should confess our faults to one another (James 5:16). Why? Sharing our sins and struggles in a safe group setting helps the healing process and causes spiritual growth.
If your church does not have such a group, do a Google search for one in your area. It’s easy.
Avoid situations which bring added temptation.
Paul told Timothy to flee youthful lusts. Only you know the situations that cause you temptation. We know that good intentions can only go so far, but with Jesus’ help you can have victory over sexual impurity in your life.
Are you a Christian single who has struggled with sexual impurity? Help other singles by sharing your thoughts and comments.
Related Posts:
[…] Finally, if you are a Christian who is really beating yourself up over the issue of masturbation, or are struggling with sexual impurity, remember that Jesus offers forgiveness (1 John 1:9) you and loves you where you are. Also consider the words of James Dobson of Focus on the Family: […]
[…] Christian Singles and Sexual Purity […]
[…] John is now depressed over his lack of sexual purity. He also knows his sex life is out of control, but doesn’t know where to turn. He afraid others will judge him, and is embarrassed to discuss his sex life with a counselor. Worst of all, John feels God can’t forgive him this sexual sin because it happens over and over again. […]
[…] Dear Spirit, how can I feel pure again after willfully commiting sexual sins? […]
i am one of those who have been in the sexual pit. i’ve always thought that i could never turn my back from it, but it’s not true. It’s God’s perfect, beautiful and faithful love that has pulled me out and restored me. i just wanna encourage those who went through the same situation, to be selfless and to reach out to those who are experiencing it. it makes a huge impact to see someone reaching out to you…let’s live a life of love…
Thanks for the encouraging words, Breanna! I’m sure many other Christian singles were touched by those words. I know I was.
Living a selfless life is a tall order, but we believe Jesus’ promise that “those who lose their life for my sake shall find it”, than it’s all worth it.
[…] Many Christian singles have problems with their health and the relationships in their lives because they have a major issue with forgiveness. For example, some singles have had such sour dating relationships with cheaters and patholigical liars that they now find it hard to grant forgiveness. Others walk around with walk around gloomy and depressed because they they can’t forgive themselves for past sex sins that God has long forgiven. […]
I would just like to know what should a single like me would do if for example I am a leader of one of the groups in a church and I had a sexual intercourse with my boyfriend who is also a leader, should we resign from our ministry?
Dear Paws:
Wow, what a difficult and sad situation that is! Well, the right thing to do would first be to first go before the Lord in pray, seeking forgiveness and cleansing. Secondly, both of you should discuss the situation with church leadership, and submit to what they believe is best.
Remember that our Lord has not given up on you. He came into the world to save sinners like us, and can turn our “scars into stars” if we trust Him.
I feel totally caught up in all this, after being exposed to it from a young age by my father. I really struggled thru teen years and thought I was doing well til I met a guy last year. He’s also Christian but we both fall on occasions and I do alone too. I so desperately want to be free from it all but there’s no way I’d tell anyone face to face what I’m going thru. Whenever I think I’m doing ok it all comes back to haunt me again.
I know it’s something in my spirit that has nested there and just grown, but I dont’ know how to remove it completely. I’m aware that there will always be temptation there, but I want to have the strength to turn it down…which at the moment I don’t feel I have. Is there somewhere online I can talk to someone? Or anything in particular I can do to get out of this hole? It’s all very well saying Jesus forgives but hates the sin, etc. but that doesn’t stop me from being tempted so strongly. I’m sick of saying I’m sorry to God then going back and doing the same thing again and again. I wonder how I can ever please him!
I know he has a plan for my life, I just want to quit messing around so I can see it come about and love him as I should…
Dear EM:
Thanks for your honesty in sharing. Well, if misery love company…you have an awful lot of it! Most of us struggle with temptation toward sexual impurity..
Email us, and I will give you a referral for someone to speak to in your local area. The very thing you fear is exactly the remedy that can help you. Don’t be embarrassed.We all have issues here. If we did not we would not meed Jesus’ forgiveness, right? The best way yo overcome sexual impurity is accountability in a Christians singles group or specialized support group. Please pray about that, and we can help facilitate that for you. An in-depth heart and soul searching study of Romans 6-8 is also very helpful with sexual impurity, and helps you understand your real identity in Christ..
We are praying for you…and you are right…God has a wonderful plan for you…Hang in there…
In Jesus,
David
Romans 15:13
Hi,
I’ve been reading a book titled “Every Man’s Challenge” by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker. It teaches me to starve my sexual appetites by avoiding sensual visual stimulants (e.g. sexy joggers etc). Instead, sexual desires should be directed solely to one’s spouse.
However, it fails to address the frustration that Christian young men like me face. I’m to keep my eyes pure, mind clean and abstain from masturbation, but receive no outlet of release for my sexual urges. Also, if I continue to avoid looking at pretty ladies, I’m doomed to celibacy. Of course, one can look at them without sexual intent. Yet, this means that the relationship between men and women will always be platonic, never romantic. After all, sexual urges are necessary for reproduction! What are your views?
Although I accept Paul’s support of celibacy in 1 Corinthians 7, many Christian singles view it as a curse and actually want to marry. Does a man who is determined to be sexually pure have to resign to celibacy? Please advise.
CWC-
Thanks for your comment on sexual impurity. My dear brother, you obviously do not have the gift of singleness. Let’s trust the Lord for a suitable helpmate for you. Additionally, the whole purpose of dating is to determine whether such a person may be suitable for marriage. In the context of this kind of dating relationship romance need not be equated with sex. Make this a time to get to know each other emotionally and spiritually, looking forward to lots of great sex in marriage. This is God’s plan..He never said it would be easy, only better and ultimately more fulfilling. As far as masturbation is concerned, we have an article on that topic on our site. Take care.
David
I have struggle with sexual immorality in my life for so long. Ever since I became addicted to pornography at a young age it had affected me and always made me feel cut off. There have been times in my life where I have succeeded for a time to abstain and keep pure, but as EM had said before it frustrates me that I ask God for forgiveness but keep doing it again and again, and feeling like there is little point in asking for forgiveness when I know that I may do so again. I had also started a good Christian relationship in April this year hat started off well, but eventually temptation crept in and now we have sunk into sexual immorality again, up until now. I once tried to convince my girlfriend that we shouldn’t anymore, but almost lost her, at which I gave in and did it to keep her happy. I just wish that she could understand how serious sexual immorality is then it would certainly help me because I so wish to do so but fear losing her, especially now that she has serious health problems (a cyst) which complicate things. I can’t talk to anyone about it at church and I just pray that God will get me and my gf out of our situation. It has been a blessing to know that there are others who feel the exact same way I do.
I have also struggled with sexual immorality in more ways than one for the past 13 years of my life and I am only twenty years old. I am a college student and feel like I am in Babylon - the pressures and temptations are so overwhelming here each night is an unbelievable battle to stay away from sin..and many nights I have failed myself. I have given myself to many and I have never had a boyfriend. My fear and hatred of the feelings of loneliness hold so strong in me that when I get that phone call at 2 am from my “friend with benefits” guy I have to go. I jump at the opportunity of spending one night with someone - for someone to want me even if it is just for the night is so amazing and unbelievable to me. This guy I know does not actually like me. I realize this and yet I still go to him. My desires are strong in lust but it is the horrible feeling of emptiness and loneliness that really makes me go to him.
I know what is right and what should be. I know that it is God’s love that I need and seek. It is his love that will fill my heart and all the holes I’ve torn in it and given away to lovers. I know he can make me whole again. But I don’t understand. I obviously don’t understand because I don’t stop doing what I am doing. I don’t feel the spiritual satisfaction of God’s love as much as I can feel the instantaneous relief of the physical “love”. I am struggling with this in the worst way right now. I have reached out for help but I don’t feel I am doing my part. I still have all the wants and desires as I have always had. This struggle is horrible and I feel as if it is killing me. I pray for strength and for God’s love to fill me up so that I may not feel these wants and desires. I do not know how to get out of this alone. I have such a strong hold on earthly things. I feel as if the only way to get through this is with someone else. I pray for God to send me a husband that may help me and guide me to understanding and having a healthy relationship and stearing me away from my impurity. But I fear God does not see me as ready for that now…and possibly ever. I know there are consequences to my actions and I fear most of all that God will not send me a husband but instead my greatest fear will be lived that I will be alone.
I hope some sense can by made of this. My thoughts are running wild in every direction. I’m fighting a battle in my mind and in my heart and I am very fearful of my own strength being far too fragile and weak to win this battle - maybe I will win it today and get through today and tonight but tomorrow is a new day and another battle. My strength is being drained from me.
Hi Kate, i am exactly undergoing the same struggle as you have right now, with the same fear. I’ve been living in sexual sin for almost 6 years now with a non-chrisitian-friend-with-benefits..He taught me everything about it.
And i feel like as i go along, i no longer have the conviction from the Holy Spirit. I am so afraid that God’s wrath is already on me.
I have nobody to talk to because i happened to belong to a conservative culture.
I badly need your prayers, brothers and sisters in Christ. This is tormenting me so much. I’ve been a Christian for so long now, but this has seriously led me away from the Lord. I have recently seriously repented and yet just a while ago, I fell into temptation again. I feel so frustrated and so condemned.
Dear Sisters and Brothers:
Thanks for the honest sharing. I know it is hard…cause I’m a huge sinner too. Renenber, confessing our sins to God and each other is a huge first step toward healing. Sister Grace, God has not forsaken you..He sees your heart struggle…and that is precious to Him because deep down you want the right thing.
Let’s covenant to pray for each other, ok? The whole purpose of this ste is to give Christian singles a place to mmet other singles not only for dating, but also for accountability…that’s one reason why we will be shortly adding a forum….
David
girls,
when a guy asks u to do something you know he’s trying to talk you into doing something that he needs in order to be sexually fulfilled. its probably something that u know will satisfy him and help him to not need real sex since you’re not married yet. But in actuality he is looking for you to show your strength as a woman and to say no. he wants to know your boundaries and a good guy, even a dirty good guy will have more fun dating you when you have shown him how much or little you are comfortable with by being strong and saying no.
Hi everybody,
i’m a sinner like you. And i certainly do fall into terrible sexual immorality like viewing pornography, indulge in sexual imaginations/fantasies, as well as masturbate. Worst still, i know Scriptures. And it is true few years back, i did doubt that i was even not born-again. Like what you guys mention, “what’s the point of asking for forgiveness if i’m going to commit this sins later/in future?” And in time past, my understanding of genuine repentance is like that of King David, after his adultery with Bathsheba and never to commit adultery again. [something like “go and sin no more” as the Lord Jesus told the woman who caught in the act of adultery]
This year, i’m 20, i had pornography influence since before the age of 6 but after age of 4 iirc. and a lot of sexual immoral experience except fornication. Where as adultery, i did it in the mind (see Matthew 5-7, Sermon on the mount). No matter what sin great or small, is still sin. At the age of 15, went to a fundamentalist church and attended service/sunday schools. Being taught not to commit fornication many times, abstain from all appearance of evil and many more, yet still fall into sin as sometimes i want, i urge or resign to temptation.
Kate: strength and victory comes from God. But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. (Isaiah 40:31)
When we think we are alone, often time is we lack trust and believe. Jesus Christ gave the great commission in Matthew 28 ending 3 verses. He said “and lo, I am with you alway, even until the end of the world.” Although visibly we are unable to see physically the Lord Jesus Christ, nevertheless his presence can be felt if we are close to him.
Grace: Men are already condemned if not for the Lord Jesus Christ (in John 3:17-18) We need to thank God all the more that we are saved.
With regards to this quote, ‘ask God for forgiveness but keep doing it again and again, and feeling like there is little point in asking for forgiveness when I know that I may do so again.’ as cited above.
-Although i may be wrong in my explanation, but i just would like to suggest something that is, before we pray, we should ask ourselves that are we earnestly willing to change? little by little, one step at a time? Is there anything that we are holding back? (as according to 2cor 6:14-7:1) is there a change in our attitude towards sin? The answer to these questions may not be answered immediately, but is there a desire to answer them in your life? Many a times the problem lies in “do we trust in prayer? or do we pray believing in Jesus’s name?”
God would love to hear our prayers more than we want to pray. There is a commandment, Pray without ceasing 1 Thessalonians 5:17. By fulfilling this commandments certainly help us to get rid of our vain thoughts and our faithlessness. Remember the Parable of the prodigal son? Luke 15:11 onwards, how the father when he receive his son who went away(or so called “wasted”), rejoice. Our heavenly Father is the same, he would joy and rejoice for our return to him.
And lastly the things that touch me most is found in Jeremiah 3:22a. Return, ye backsliding children and I will heal your backslidings.
This is the faithfulness of God wanting us to go back to him.
Certainly for my case, even after knowing these Scriptures and once upon a time touched me, yet i still fall and capitulate into sins of masturbations and pornography due to not praying without ceasing (both formally and informally). And by keep on committing such active sins, it certainly makes me think that i’m unable to serve in various ministries as my life hasn’t been proven in my total submission to God. Although i know one thing that is we are all unworthy to serve God, it is by God’s grace that we serve him. nevertheless my walk with God isn’t good.
Even as i typed my comments i do feel miserable as i’m not right with God at this point in time. May God forgive us for his mercies’ sake.
This comment of mind is never to condemn or look down but to tell you that, you’re not alone.
Verses quoted from King James Bible
In Christ with love,
Samuel
Hi All,
I’m nearly 22 yrs old and I’ve been in a relationship with my Christian boyfriend (who is 23) for over 6 months. This man is amazing but lately we too have fallen into sexual impurities. We both desperately want to stop and let our relationship being a bless to God but it’s like we literally can’t stop. Reading all of these comments is really helpful in how to fix this. Committing to Christ is really what is going to help us. We are both so in love with the Lord and I agree with Em in that it’s so hard to ask for forgiveness when we turn around and do it all over again. I feel so ashamed that I do that to my God. I just feel like someday he’s not going to give me anymore chances to redeem myself. I know this to not be true but I feel he’s really upset with both my boyfriend and I. The man I’m dating is one that I would love to spend the rest of my life with and we’re both dedicated to the fact of marriage but before any big steps can be taken or before our relationship can get any deeper we need to cut out our sexual impurities. I just need some lifting up and some words of wisdom. I feel so lost in this struggle. I beg for God to grant me the strength to stand up to sexual desires. I know in my heart this is what I want and I know that the Lord can see that in my heart. I just hope He believes me. I’m afraid if this continues my relationship with my boyfriend will end. We’re completely happy when we are sexually pure so why is it that we still commit sexual acts? We love to be with each other without being intimate yet we still fall. I need some encouragement.
God Bless,
Ashley
Hi guyz!!
Regarding sexual impurity, aAfter I read Kate and Grace’s replies, I was in tears…because I feel the shame they are feeling..I really do, because i too am a sinner…I have been sinner for too many years of my life..and the sad part is,iv been trying to leave my sinful life,but it just keeps on calling me back!!!…i am tired of carrying this sinful baggage on my shoulders…How do i stop this behaviour?…why do we so sin much?…
Dee
Dear Ashley,
Regarding sexual impurity I am going through the same situation as you. I and my fiance love God and wants to please God. However, We are struggling a lot with our sexual purity. We are getting married in less than 2 months and this battle of sin is becoming very hard to control. I feel very ashamed with God and feel I don’t deserve forgiveness for falling all over again. I pray that God can forgive us and give us enough strength to overcome this battle of sin. This website has encouraged he because it let me know of what the Bible says that if we confess our sexual impurity and pray to God for forgiveness, we will be forgiven.
In regard to sexual impurity. I would like to agree with Samuel and a lot that he shared is true, and one of the things as single believers is to remember the scripture in Isaiah 41:10 where it says “Do not be afraid, for I am with you, dont be discouraged for I am your God, I will strengthen you and help you, I will hold you up with my victorious right hand” remember brothers and sisters that God is true to His word and He is a present help in trouble, so please dont get discouraged and feel like you have failed God, remember He knows what we are going to do before we do it, yet His love for us does not change, so when you fail and fall “Repent” He is just and faithful to forgive dont feel like you have repented so many times that you dont want to repent anymore, dont let the devil lie to you, the Blood of Jesus has made it possible for us to come to Him and ask for forgiveness as many times as we have to until we understand His love for us and get to the place where we dont do it anymore. Remember you have a Helper the Holy Spirit that helps us in our weaknesses so call on the His help and do not stay silent. A silent believer is a defeated believer so be open and honest with God about what you are going through. We are able to overcome because of Jesus. Stay encouraged.
Sister in Christ
CeeKay
Hi all
I am a mom of 2. I am single for about 6 years now since I gave my life to Jesus. but i struggle with sexual impurity ie. masturbation. i am so ashamed. but i am battling this for years and no mate in sight. i ask GOd why i have to be in this situation. i go months on a high then i slump when my hormones get the better of me. however, i have noticed that its less frequent as i have immersed myself in GOD. I know the key lies in self control which I guess i lack. Pray for me
CeeKay, thanks for those comments, sister!
Jolene:
Thanks for your honest sharing. Please do not be ashamed for several reasons: 1. We all struggle in this area at one time or another. 2. Remember the Lord created you as a sexual being with all those hormones you mentioned. Having sexual feelings and desires is NOT sinful. It’s how we channel our drive that matters. Rejoice and thank him for who He will provide for you in the future.
David
Wow this website is so encouraging.
My Bf and I are both christians and haven’t had sex but have done other things related to sex. We have once again put a stop to our actions but I am a little doubtful at how long it might last. We had agreed to visit our Pastor about our situation and then decided to give ourselves one more chance at stopping on our own. I guess Im just looking for prayer for strength and also just to unload the weight that our situation puts on me. When we do stuff I don’t necessarily feel guilty all the time but just know that its wrong and want to stop. Is it because I have become hardened in this area to God’s Spirit because we have done stuff for 6 months and it has almost become a norm for us?
Love a comment back
Thanks
Me and my girlfriend have been in a relationship for about 7 months now and we are both strong Christians. We have talked about our sexual sin and how we need to keep our eyes on Gods plan, but being very attracted to eachother is really hard. not just physicaly attracted but also emotionaly, spiritualy. we are not having intercourse, but even touching over the clothes is something that we feel like we shouldnt be doing. We talk about marriage and how much easier we feel it would be because we dont struggle with wondering thoughts about other people. our biggest stuggle is physical stuff with eachother. we will mess up and then ask for forgiveness and then everything will be good for a few weeks but then we would get some alone time and at the time we both want it, but afterward we feel horible. is there some advice on how to flee from our sexual sin?? i care about this girl to much to lose her over sexual sin.
thanks