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Dating Tips for a Long Distance Relationship

Long distance relationships have always been with us. However, in recent years, global online dating services and increased ease of travel helped make long distance relationships much more prevalent. In fact, according to dating experts on the topic, there are an estimated 1 to 2 million couples presently in long distance dating relationships.

Many single men and single women feel dating in a long distance relationship is a losing proposition. However, there many dating couples who have experienced tremendous romantic and successful long distance relationships. As a matter of fact, I currently have a friend who met a guy through an online Christian dating service, and they have been in a long distance relationship for the past two years. He lives in New Hampshire while she calls New Jersey her home. The great news here is that these Christian singles are getting married this June. :)

Long Distance Relationship Keys

What was it that made my friend’s long distance relationship successful? After looking over much of the research on the subject and speaking with her, the following dating tips appear to be key:

  1. Before entering a long distance dating relationship, the couple should have a frank discussion on expectations for the relationship. Is there a possibility of this being a serious relationship culminating in marriage? Is there a possibility that one party will relocate? Don’t be afraid to bring up these topics now, because it could save you lots of stress, anxiety, confusion and conflict later.
  2. Set the ground rules of this long distance relationship together. That means communicating how often you will be meeting and contacting each other, and whether or not there will be dating of other people. One of the ground rules should also include the understanding that the dating couple will assess the long distance relationship at agreed upon intervals.
  3. Practice creative ways of sharing your heart with each other on a regular basis. Web cams, e-mail, telephone, text messages, digital cameras and snail mail, to name a few ways of keeping in touch, provide many romantic possibilities for keeping the long distance relationship healthy and fun. Enjoying regular communication also builds emotional and spiritual intimacy and trust.
  4. Pray daily for your long distance relationship and your dating partner. This is by far the most important thing you can do. Ask the Lord Jesus to mold you both into the people He wants you be, and surrender your long distance relationship to His will (Proverbs. 3:5-6). This will bring you great peace and assurance.

Overall, if you follow these dating tips, your long distance relationship will be a blessed and exciting experience even if the dating relationship ends.

Are you a single Christian who has been or is in a long distance relationship? Help others by sharing your long distant relationship experiences and insights.

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28 Comments

  1. Katie

    These do work. I am going through a long distance relationship right now. I thought I’d never find him, but I didn’t have too. God brought us together by using my aunt and yes it’s only been awhile (5 months) but I know we are going to make it. I have never been so blessed to have this wonderful man of God! Just pray for me and him as we continue. Yes, It’s not easy. It is hard. Very hard. And all the pain and tears that we go through are worth it. When I last saw him( 2 days ago) was the first time I saw him in 2 whole months. And when we were together, everything felt right. Just pray for the both of us.

  2. David Butler (Author)

    Thanks Katie, we put a lot of thoght into our articles. Hop your Long Distance Dating Relationships works out long term!

  3. Really God is the perfect matchmaker. A long distance relationship is workable by much prayer, committment, love and trust. Communication too is paramount. As pointed out, you must know why the two of you have linked up. Whether its for marriage of just mere friendship.

    Once that is established, put your whole heart to it because a “double-minded man wavers in his ways”. It takes the grace of God and the hand of God really for the two of you to work it out. But it is worth it! Much glory awaits on the otherside …..

  4. A long distance relationship works well for a godly couple

  5. Marilyn

    I’m in a long distance thing right now. And right know everything is going so wrong. My parents are not letting talk to him. I know they care for me but i really really love him so much. I’m only 15 and i know im young but love can come at any age. He’s so perfect and he literaly will do anything for me. We talk everyday. My parents think he’s a older pervert. I just really want them to take the time to listen to what he has to say about us.
    I pray every night that god will help me and him get though the chaos. I love him so much.

  6. Jessica

    Hey I just found the site and this has really helped my heart. Long distance relationships are probably the hardest yet most rewarding relationships. Its like living in complete faith and trust, where you can truely have the mental connection that lasts …and I’m right there with the tears and the pain… But seeing him again is like a holiday. Its hard though due to that hes in another country and the time change is almost unbearrable with our work scheduels…. Prayer from friends and family is the only thing that is making it work.. Thank you for the page and keep praying for us…

  7. Long Distance Relationships

    I recently ended my long distance dating relationship of 1 year. My boyfriend was deployed for the second half of our relationship, which made it a long distance dating relationship.. Throughout his deployment he only communicated with me about once a month. I tried to be as understanding as possible and never complained about that. Even then, I would still send letters weekly (through the internet), and emails. He never wrote me one letter.

    After he came backhe did not call so this when I ended the relationship. When I talked to him about ending the relationship he said he sort of agreed. I feel I had to end it because my needs were going unmet and my boyfriend was only doing the bare minimum to keep me happy. I also knew I didnt want to be treated like a doormat.

    Anyway I was just wondering if you all think I gave up on my long distance/short relationship too soon, or if this guy is a just being a jerk and ending it was the right choice?

  8. I was actually wondering if it would be a good idea to add a section on free dating site for people who are willing to take part in long-distance relationships.

  9. Carmen

    If it is meant to be, God will make it happen.

  10. babygirl

    Long distance dating relationship needs extra patience and more love…i am currently involved with someone in a long distance dating relationship who is millions away from me .i’m here in the philly and he is in san diego serving the us navy. up to this moment we try so hard to keep the magic glowing: we email almost everyday and talk anything under the sun. its so amazing how i can feel his love for me and i pray that it goes a long way though love makes no promises everyday i hold on to the feeling of happiness knowing that someone at the end of the rainbow loves me. im sooo happy and wherever this long distance dating relationship may take us i have prepared myself for consequences that love has it’s pain and sorrows but i need to be ready to face reality that some good things don’t always have happy endings…but for now I let the love overflow and appreciate every second of this long distance dating relationship.

  11. shelley

    if i only knew it will be this hard to be in a long distance relationship… i wouldn’t have started it..

    fair warning to everyone…
    a normal relationship needs a lot of work…
    you need to exert 100 more time when it’s long distance…

    am i making sense?
    or did just happen to be with the wrong guy?

  12. Secretgirl

    Yes I am involed in a long distance relationship that is now ending. We started out long distnace then were together one year. The he moved away again. He has the means to see me but says he is too busy and flying me there is too costly. He only flew me in once and I had to wait tow hours for him to pick me up from the airport. He has been gone for almost 9 months and I have only seen him four times and two were job related reasons. He wants me to move to where he is but I feel that since he hasn’t really showed much desire to see me, it would not e fair to me. I am praying because I want to do the right thing. He claims he loves me but I dont really understand this whole thing.

  13. Rachel

    I’ve been with my long distance boyfriend for a year and 5 months so far. We’ve visited each other afew times during..and it has helped us so much. We are always there for each other and willing to talk to one another when something is going wrong whether in our relationship or outside of it. We care for each other ALOT. And we love each other alot. Don’t get me wrong there has been hard times during it…but we are so strong together even being so far apart. =]He makes me so happy. Thank you God!

  14. Matt

    Yep this is pretty much exactly what you need to do to have a successful Long Distance Relationship. I’ve been in my long distance dating relationship over half a year now. You will never be 100% sure if you relationship will work or not, but if you don’t follow every single one of those rules, you will have a much lower chance I think. Thanks and peace

  15. Yulita

    Hello everyone,
    I have been in a long distance relationship for half a year. He lives in Belgium and I live in Fl, USA. We meet online through my cousin. She sent him a picture and he liked me, then he did same. After that we meet in person. He came to Miami for a month and we felt in love with each other. Now we are planning to get married soon. He is moving here in two months. It takes effort and trust but I think that if you apply the same rules to a long distance it can work. Just make sure that you and that person want the same things and have the same values. Never put pressure into the relationship and get creative!!! =) Best of luck for everyone out there!!!!

  16. Ag

    In regard to long distance relationships, my girlfriend and I have been dating for nine months, and to say the least, it has been the most rewarding nine months of my life. When we started dating, I had no intention of it lasting this long, but now consider myself so blessed that God has put someone so special in my life. Well the “glory days” are now coming to an end as we part for college: New York for her, and Texas for me. I know that this is going to be such a trying experience for both of us, seeing each other only once every four months. But with God at the center of this relationship, we know that whatever happens is for His glory. For the most part it has been very encouraging to read all of these posts. I ask for continued prayerful support for our long distance relationship, as well as everyone else in the same boat as us. Thanks again.

  17. leigh

    Currently I am in a distance relationship. I live in florida but my boyfriend lives in ecuador. And I haven’t seen him in about 4 or 5 months.[since the day we started dating]and I probably won’t see him for another 5 months. But with these tips and prayer we have been sticking through it. And I am even making plans to move to ecuador to be with him in the future. That is if everything still works out for us. But I know god has a plan. And if he wants us to be together he will make it happen. So just please keep us in your prayers. And thanks again.

  18. Jennine

    Long distance relationships require more attention than a regular in-town relationship. I had a long distance relationship before and it took more work than any other relationship.

    For all of you in that long distance relationship, keep your head up and keep working on the relationship.

  19. Raquel

    I have been in a long-distance relationship for 2 1/2 years. We manage to see each other as much as we can, but being college students it’s pretty difficult to scrape up the airfare and the time. We’re very good about keeping the communication going by letters and phone calls, but it does get old and Ive been feeling so terribly worn out lately. I thank God every day for giving me a wonderful man who loves me and would do anything for me, but I have a horrible time trying to manage my emotions and not slip into a depression of sorts. I love him dearly, but the pain and tears and heartache have left me emotionally and physically exhausted. I guess I’m just looking for some advice and/or encouragement….thanks for your prayers :)

  20. Kezia

    I have been in a long distance relationship for about three months and already felt the brunt of it. I am in Canada and he is in Suriname. We met by faith and its only faith and prayers that kept us together thus far.

    We were given links to various wbsites by a mutual freind on how to make long distance relationships work and to say the least, we had already started on most of those. We email each other daily, voice chat through Skype, sent text messages, etc. But we have added our own feature which we believe can be very helpful. We decided to dedicate Sunday as the day we will call each other and pray about various things. This is a finacial sacrfice we have both made that we know will pay off in the end.

    We are both devout Christian and he has been my anchor in Christ when I am hurting. He is not always there when I need someone to talk to, but he has pointed me to the man, that promised to never leave nor forsake me (Christ).

    I believe that God has specially crafted him for me and visa versa and I am trusting in Him to make our relationship lasting until the day when death will part us. We are in the process of planning our wedding this December where we both will be intimate for the first time.

    May God Bless you all of you and my advice to make your long distance relationship lasting is to trust in Christ above all.

  21. Jen

    Hello, I am in an Long Distant Relationship right now with a man I met on Christian Mingle. I live in Canada andhe lives in Netherlands

    Its has almost been 5 weeks now, and I feel that I have fallen in love with him… his goal is to move to were is heart finds love. So I just need to wait, and I will do that for him..

    He surprised me with a phone call tonight.. it was the first time we talked by phone.. we send emails back and forth all day long.. and sometimes talking on MSN…

    This feels so right, and I am very conformable with him! He is coming down to see me in 2 months… I can’t wait to meet him.. this meeting with either make it or break it.. But I pray to God every day for his Blessings.

    Valentines day is coming soon and I bought him a very nice cross necklace and plan on shipping it too him soon.

    please pray for us!

    God Bless

  22. Ria

    Hi! I am also in a long distance relationship, destiny brings us together in unexpected place & time.. We working before in same company & the first time I saw him I felt that HE IS THE ONE FOR ME.. We become friends for 8 months, 2 months together in a relationship, he went to Phillipiines for about 6 months..Its really hard but Thanks GOD I am so blessed to have a man like him.. We have plans to be together after my contract in my company, I am about to finish after 7 months.. I always make him feel that he is important in my life & God is our foundation.. We both believe that He will make a way for us to be together again very soon.. Thank you for you’re prayers & I am so happy to share the greatness of GOD in our life…Godbless

  23. Amy J Smith

    Hi,I have been in a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend
    for 5 long years! He lives in Jamaica,and I live in New York.
    It is extremely difficult,but we try to pray as much as we can.
    He recently admitted a couple of infidelities to me on my last
    trip there.It really broke my heart,but I am willing to make it
    work.He is trying to move back here within a year.otherwise,I
    am willing to move there to be with him.My heart aches every
    night that I go to sleep alone,without him beside me.Please pray
    for us as I am tired of the distance for all of these five long
    years.Thank you,and may God bless you all in your relationships.

  24. Ced

    relationships can work or not work. the distance is not the issue. off cause long distance relationships tend to get more scrutiny for obvious reasons. i believe that two people who have, discpline, trust,respect,tolerance,patience and most of all love can make it. faith that God is on your side and humility will make the relationship bliss. challenges are there. as in any other relationship, the distance may actuate it, but that is not the problem. the issue is how do you handle it?…i have recently got in one of those, but by faith we are as in love as ever. we would like to see each other more that once a month, but the few days we spend together when we do are amazing. we talk more or less daily by email, phone and sms. we wanna be together so we pray together that God strengthen us to recieve that by faith. we are planning to move back near each other as soon as we get married in the next few months.storms come and go anywhere. sometimes it is so hard, but we cant imagine being with anyone but each other and that assures us that ideed God bonded us, therefore by faith He will come through at the end of this race…Amen

  25. shar

    I’ve been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for 7 months right now. It’s between NY-FL. At the beginning,it was really hard for us to do this. I personally a lil hesitate to do this,but then i took a step of faith cos i know that God open the way for us to do this. One thing that my bf always told me when we just started our relationship was ”dont make it hard then it already is” i keep that in mind every time i think of how hard it is. Of course that’s not it,we both also keep each other in prayer and use this time to grow stronger in God. So far,it’s been the best relationship for both of us. Yes,we dont see each other all the time (he came for 4 days to ask me to be his gf and came visit me again with his entire family 6 month later for 4 days) but we always put our trust in God. By His grace,we both are able to enjoy this..phone calls,skype,cards,texts,love letters are important. thats how we communicate each other. another thing that is also important is to keep us pure physically and emotionally..
    I want to encourage for everyone who are in a long dist relationship to keep praying and trust God. Glorify Him and serve each other right..if you know this is Lord’s plan for you,then trust Him. :)

  26. Brian

    I am engaged to an amazing young woman who is serving 2 years overseas in the navy. We were together over a year when she left for boot camp and have already made it 9 months away from each other. She has 22 months left and this is the hardest thing that I have ever been through. I get discouraged a lot as well as she does. I believe that God brought us together but when I think of us being away I doubt that this is what God wants. I am ready for marriage and all I want is for her to be home. When I think about what I go through every day she is gone it is very hard to imagine doing this for the next 2 years. I pray everyday about it, but it has gotten to the point that it interferes with my relationship with God and it has kept me from getting into the word because I am just so exhausted from the stress and the heartache

  27. Kehinde Benjamin

    I bless God for this exultation. I’m in a long distance relationship for a year plus now with a wonderful daughter of God. We bless God for His helping hand on us. Though, there are many challenges but we do over by sharing the word of God together, sending what bless me and helpful for our relationship to her and she send to me too on social media. Despite we are not together, we plan future together but it’s not easy. We believe we can do all things through Christ that strengthens us.

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