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Disability Dating and Singles Dating with Disabilities

Have you heard about those disability dating sites that exist to help disabled singles the chance to meet other singles with similar issues?

Some people use disability dating sites because they feel it is harder for them to find a date on a regular dating site. I know of several Christian singles who have physical disabilities, and they with disability dating services. The main reason they use online disability dating is because they feel “normal” singles in the church and those on mainstream matchmaking websites look down on them once they discover they have a disability.

What are your thoughts about disability dating? Personally, something deep in my soul is repulsed by the idea of disability dating. Oh, it has nothing to do with the dear folks who use them. I feel sad that we as human beings categorize some folks as disabled and others as not. After all, aren’t we ALL a little disabled in different ways due to the Fall?

Bible Verse of Day

But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God [sees] not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
1Samuel 16:7

How then should we treat and judge each other, and how should this verse effect our dating selections? Wow…that’s a tough one.

Are you a single Christian with something to share about disability dating?

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31 Comments

  1. I have considered applying to “normal” Christian websites, I sent a picture to one but that was before I was in a wheelchair most of the time. I thought that no one would really want a person with a certain handicap to spend time with. I don’t know if this is true. I am 48 years old have been divorced for 20 years. I am very out of touch with the worldly dating scene.

  2. ted

    dear terri,i’m in a very similar situation. 7 years ago i was diagnosed with chronic osteo and rheumatoid arthritis of the spine and hips. i use two cuff canes for mobility. after years of being a carpenter and avid outdoorsman it’s taken me this long just to get up the nerve to respond to your message.or any message for that matter. love shouldn’t come from physical appearances but from the heart and soul. i am a 51yr old,never married. i thought there would be plenty of time in my life to eventually be involved with a woman, but with my disabilities i’m not sure anymore. god bless

  3. Frank

    I feel I need to check one of those sites, not because I am embarassed to tell people about my disablities, But that, I can’t socialize like “normal” people(Due to nerve disorder).By the way do you know a good Christian site? Thanks.

  4. Melissa

    I don’t know if there is any for this category, but it landed me here. So I am leaving my email. I am protestant, Christian. I have mental disability, Shizophrenia and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I take meds and keep stable with that. Please look at my website for my full story. I think people with disabilities get a bum rap from most people. But that’s just what I think. I pray you all find good partners. :)

  5. George

    I’m a Christian who uses a wheelchair and I have been doing the rounds of dating sites for almost a year with no joy (if anything complete anguish). On secular sites I have found that people avoid you because you are open about your faith and because you have a disability. On disability sites you are avoided for just being a Christian And on Christian sites, its even more depressing, I have had suggestions that I need healing, prayer. or whatever! And I have found for the most part that My sisters in Christ are essentially just as rude in their responses, but couch it in Christian language …

    I am literally at the end of my tether and have given up online dating all together, simply because I can’t take it any more!

    Humour aside. I genuinely feel damaged by the whole experience.

    So if you are looking for 40ish guy who uses a wheelchair, Loves Jesus and is slightly emotionally damaged … Get In Touch!

  6. Hello Melissa and anyone else,

    My brother is a Christian. He also has schizophrenia and is on medication. He has been looking for a Christian girl to date. He lives in western new york. We just put some of his Christian
    songs on itunes. Please let me know how to get in contact with people on this site.

  7. my name is betty i am lone don;t have friends i go work every day .i just need some to write i am not talk and i go church on we have good serving .

  8. Angela

    Frank,
    i have a disability myself i’m christian i have social aniexty being around lots of people. i’m looking for a friend and hopefully more

  9. Delicious Monster

    It is good to see a Christian website dealing with this issue.

  10. Lesia

    To all with a disability interested in dating: I understand all your pain. I have felt alone for a very long time with my disability. You survive something that others do not and you are left with scars and deal with the aftermath that comes. I even lost my husband through it all. I now find myself alone and having a real problem with persons that are Normal. I can no longer walk like others, Have to plan my day on where I’m at and is there a bathroom available. I find myself without the strength that I once had of burning the candle. I am at a lost with these christians that say they would love someone no matter what the problem.

  11. Christopher Lake

    I am a 35-year-old Christian man with a physical disability. Throughout my life, I have dated (I prefer the term “courted”) exclusively able-bodied women, but that has only been a matter of circumstance. I am certainly open to dating a woman with a disability, as long as she shares my faith (Christian and theologically Reformed),

    My problem is, because of my disability, I am unable to drive and have faced difficulty in finding and keeping a job that would allow me to support a wife and family. The churches where I have been a member have taught that it is the responsibility of a husband to support his wife and children. I agree with this teaching, but what is a man in my situation to do? I do not have the gift of celibacy, I long for emotional and physical companionship, and yet, my disability causes great difficulty for me, when it comes to being a “provider.”

    The leaders of my church are advising me not to even initiate a courtship with any woman until I can provide for her. I want to do what is right, Biblically speaking, but my situation seems like a “gray area,” in some ways. What does anyone else think?

  12. barbara

    i am 54 yrs old and would like to start dating but i have copd and have to wear oxygen 24/7 and cant find anyone who can look past this im a very caring person with 9 grandchildren who dont live with me but love me unconditionally

  13. Claire

    Disabled should not mean the end of our life.Lord willing one day I hope and pray that someone will accept us wheelchairs and all. We are all people with potential. we laugh and cry like the rest of the world. At 56 ,I’m not dead, I just want someone who can love and accept me wheelchair and all. Blessings and best wishes to all.

  14. Charles Junior

    I (like -> ?barbara on April 10th, 2009 8:34 am ) would like to start dating but have C.O.P.D. I am a young (still active) 67yo romantic, loving man. I would like to hear back from a woman that would like to get to know a man with a Warm, Passionate, Giving Spirit and Heart.

    charlesjr15@live.com

  15. Rebbeca

    I am a 26 year-old Christian lady with no disability.Throughout my life, I am certainly open to dating a man with a disability, as long as he shares my faith and love me too.

  16. Danielle

    I’m 33 years old and a Christian. I have NF (neuro-fibroma-tosis), I’m on SSI and I can’t drive. I would like someone who can love and accept me just the way I am, but it’s hard to meet people when you can’t drive. I’m looking for a friend… if it turns into more, that’s great!

  17. I am a 34yr old man with alot of disk damage in my back. IT is hard for me to walk. But life goes on L. I have a 13yr old son who is the center of my life.I would love to talk an be friends r more with someone. When u r disable people look at u like ur not a whole person.

  18. Amanda

    I am a 27 year old Christian woman with Spina Bifida a physical disability from birth that caused paralysis from the waist down that left me in a wheelchair but I am otherwise “normal.” I have some other personal struggles that interfere with my ability to date and are also pushing me into sinful behavior. I came here for support and advice, any help or suggestions will be appreciated!

  19. mark

    Wow, I can relate so much to everything that has been said on here. I thought I was the only one with feelings of being different and the struggles with online dating. I have Retinitis Pigmentosa which makes me about 60% blind. I can relate to what you said Amanda about sin. and thanks for being honest about that. I have done online datingfor over a year and have experienced what i call Spiritual Abuse by non-disabled christians who use the scriptures to in a flipant way to sort of preach to us.instance, saying I would be healed if I had enough faith. That hurts because God knows my heart and knows I have faith in him and love. Does anyone know of a actual Christian dating specifically for the disabled? Your comments are really appreciated! God Bless!!!!! Mark

  20. justin stanley

    Looking for a christian believing girl. I am almost 23 years old, have a cheimical imbalance. I enjoy skateboarding, music, Sci-fi books and movies, lego collecting. I like to stay active and on the go. I am flexible about interests but believe in commitment and quiet times togather and having fun and a good sense of humor. Maybe a family someday. However, at this time I am looking to
    meet someone who wants one on one commitment and a Christ centered relationship.

  21. Jyoti

    I am Christian Lady staying with my parents working in NGO
    My parents are in search of suitable spouse to me for marriage.
    Hoping Lord will guide us. Amen.

    I am little disable but is perfectly normal leading a life as Lord wants to lead is in search of suitable Christian spouse.
    I am 4 feet 2 inches.

  22. Chelsea Jean Lord

    Hi, Justin Stanley. I have a chemical imbalance actually two called Asperger Syndrome (mild autism) and anxiety. I like sci-fiction books and movies, and I like keeping active.
    I am 27 years old and just finished a fully-inclusive College NorQuest College majoring in Aboriginal Community Support Worker (Social Work or Disability Studies) and a minor in Health Care Aide (nurses or doctors assistant) and another minor in English. I also live on my own with some support, and have a very loving and supportive family.
    I am single.
    My hobbies/ intrests include: reading any type of book, tv/ movies all kinds, medical, behavioral, scientific, and pschyiatric terms, legal studies, cooking, horseback riding, yoga and church /spiritual exploration.
    I am very social, however misunderstandings about “autism” and anxiety keep from keeping up with friends.
    Chelsea Jean Lord

  23. Chelsea Jean Lord

    Hi, Angela. Don’t have social anxiety but am shy due to a related condition called Autism Contiunum one of the symptoms being social withdrawl. I am social, however due to the nature of my challenges having trouble keeping up with friends.
    I am 27 years old and just compeleted college-NorQuest College studying Aboriginal Community Support Worker as a major and Health Care Aide as a minor and English as a minor. My intrests: include: reading, pottery/ creativitiy, cooking, horseback riding, yoga, church/spiritual exploration and behavioral, pschyiatric ,medical and pschyiatric terms, and legal studies to name a few.
    Chelsea Jean Lord, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada age 27

  24. Chelsea Jean Lord

    Hi, Claire. I am usually a glass is half-full person too. Despite mild autism and anxiety, I am usually happy. My hobbies and intrests include but not limited to: medical, scientific, behavioral and pschyiatric terms, legal studies, reading, cooking, pottery /creativity, horseback riding, yoga and church/spirtual exploration. I am very social, however due to the nature of autism I am having difficulty keeping up with friends.
    I am 27 years old. Despite mild autism I live on my with support, just graduated from college NorQuest college with a major in Aboriginal Community Support Worker, a minor in Health Care Aide and another minor in English.
    I also have a loving, supportive and caring family and other connections or supports.

    What are you intrested in?
    Chelsea Jean Lord

  25. Aurang zeb

    I am from Pakistan. age is 30y old. I am seeking a true love in Christian disable dating women. But still not find. Women does not believe on me. I am serious and not any scam and fake.
    plz help me.

  26. Kevin Albers

    My faith in JESUS is a result of something near fatal; as is my permanent head injury. I have been living with it and searching for, “The One,” for over twenty years now. Isn’t there any CHRISTian females out there who are single, with understanding and compassion?

  27. Pierre

    Hello. My name is Pierre. I have bipolar disorder and am on disability. My experience has been, once a Christian or unbelieving woman is aware of my disability and being on disability, they want nothing to do with me. I’d like to date, be friends and maybe more.

  28. Sheila

    Wow, so good to come here and read what others say. I don’t feel so isolated now. I have found christian dating sites to lack a disability category or a disability search or disability match. Being female, it is hard to find a male who is going to understand my pain and limitation issues. Living with physical disability requires accommodation, assistance at times, and a non-confrontational environment.

    I have tried disability singles sites to find too many non-disabled people in the mix and the search filters to be limited in scope.

    Also some dating sites limit your geographical search area to a certain distance within your zip code. Hey, I am in a rural area, with limited population, I need to expand further out.

    And last but definitely not least I find there are not many men truly committed to God or who even understand the teachings of Christ.

    I am tired of ads that read in essence

    “She must have a lovely figure, be attractive, very active, like and do exactly as I like, and not have any separate interests or life of her own.”

    When I see someone claim to be Christian and they are in their 40’s and wanting to meet a woman in her 20’s, that is a red flag.

    Or they want you to start a family right when you are going into menopause…hello ?

    Anyway, the singles sites are frustrating.

  29. Cary

    I too have a disability, a panic disorder I need to take meds for that. I believe the answer for us is to have our own dating website for single christians who have disabilities, that way their isn’t a lot of explaining necessary. We all understand what we deal with. Cary

  30. Unwanted

    I have given up on online dating and resigned myself to a life of celibacy. It’s odd how Jesus never shunned people yet many of his followers wish people like me would just disappear. I was asked to leave a Christian college after my diagnosis with schizoaffective disorder. It’s been hard forgiving the xenophobic bigots who kicked me out. Sometimes Satan has tempted me to commit suicide and rid the world of my unwelcome presence.

  31. mary

    Hello I am a womem, looking for a compassionate guy. I have anxiety and is very sensitive. I am 29 and am looking for someone who understands people that go through anxity or someone that has anxiety too.

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