Letting Go of a Relationship

9 Responses to “Letting Go of a Relationship”

1. Jethro Abel on March 7th, 2009 8:00 pm

   Hi…

   Just wanted to say what a fantastic website this is!!!

   I live in South Africa, i’m an Indian Christian guy, 21 years of age and studying Law in Durban…Natal

   I was in a relationship with a wonderful who was not Christian, in many ways, she was very anti-Christian, or any other sort of set “religion” or lifestyle. I dated her through a very tough moment in my life where my parents marital problems began seeping into my life and she was there for me in every way possible. She gave me love, security and intimacy, everything a guy would want in a relationship…

   But, this could only be maintained with us avoiding any religious topic, and that included me being silent about Jesus Christ, which was hurtful because I believe I had become close to God before we had started dating…

   Needless to say, that the love she showed me and the chaos that was all around my personal life got me WAAAAAAY distracted! Soon, Jesus Christ wasn’t the centre of my life – She was.

   I looked to her to create mt happiness, I looked to her for my sense of belonging and self-confidence, while subtley drifting away from my Bible, compomising my beliefs in Christ to be with her…

   Then one day, when she had refused doing something with the rest of her family, they had accused her of being Christian when in actual fact she had no interest in Christianity. My heart broke when she had told me what they had said to her and how they reacted to her refusal. Beyond this, her thoughts about Christian came about again and this broke my heart even more…

   Don’t get me wrong, she was the most amazing, moral girl i’ve ever had the pleasure of loving, but, this made me realise just how far away I was from Jesus…And that broke my heart more than anything else…

   I tried speaking to her about the Lord in a desperate attempt to salvage the situation, but in the end, it’s all been in vain…And I had felt like I failed my God because I didn’t introduce her to Christ in the right way and that I had failed her because I had told her that I’d marry her one day…

   At that time, I had remembered distant Bible verses of the Lord saying to His disciples (I think): “I wish that you were either hot or cold, but because you are luke warm, I will cast you out of my mouth…” People need to remember that many are called, but few, very few in this World are hand picked by Jesus Christ. He is the most loving, most benevolent, most fair being that exists today and forever! I tought about the fact that HE CREATED ME! Who under heaven could know me better!? Know the Lord, and know where you as a Christian can and can’t go in your relationship and who you consider dateable…First and foremost, if that person loves Christ with all they have, all other things will fall into to place if the two of you are meant to be together…It is true that we fight and argue for the sake of love and forgiveness in a relationship, but the fight and arguing will never heal if Christ isn’t the centre and foundation of your bond with your partner.

   I’m single now, parents happily back together…Not really ready to date again for a while…But i’m closer to my Lord than I ever have been, I’ve allowed Him to consume my mind and being in wisdom, knowledge, truth and discipline. I know that life may not be smooth sailing from here ’til the end, but one thing remains certain through all of this, I need never and will never compromise on Jesus Christ again…

   Feel free to email me, I love talking about these things…

   Take care and Seek the Lord
2. Kate on March 10th, 2009 12:02 am

   I very much appreciate your story, and I have a very similar experience that I am going through right now. I do not see your email avaliable. cchaucer@xula.edu email me if you have time, i’d love to share.-Kate
3. Maggz on March 26th, 2009 4:44 pm

   I like what u wrote, ….it made me think of my life!
4. lisa on February 19th, 2010 3:02 am

   Not too long ago I would have called you crazy for making a decision to leave someone you loved because of your beliefsl. Not anymore. As a former agnostic taking those baby steps in faith, I suddenly understand.

   Do not feel as if you failed. You did the best you could. Maybe she will come to the Lord in her own time, I had to. It took me decades.

   I commend you for your strength and wisdom.
5. Jody on April 27th, 2011 7:49 am

   Last night the man I love who is a christian decided that he wasnt ready for what i was looking for. You see we met online and in the three months we have been on again off again. He never attempted once to meet me. This left me so disappointed, leaving me to still meet poeple. I told him that only when we meet can i commit. Well three months later it is now over! My heart is disappointed, I do have another friend who understands my situation who is very interested and is willing to wait for me. But I know now enough is enough. This relationship caused me to take my focus off of God. He claimed to pray for me and care a great deal but in the end let me down so so much. Please pray for me. Now i need to be quiet and heal. Internet dating has left me very tired emotionally. Friends there are many of those who claim to be people of God who are charletons. I have run into a few and honestly all I need is your prayers for healing and restoration. I feel this is like a message in a bottle. Waiting until 36-37 to get close to God has delayed my future partner in coming. God please let me not focus on my love life and focus on trusting you with my future. In Jesus name Amen!
6. c.r on August 21st, 2011 5:57 pm

   wow,i’m glad i found this website. Reading ya’ll stories made me feel like i’m not alone in these type of situations. It’s hard, I compromised what i believe in for a man and in the end i got nothing from the relationship but talk and no action for about three years. When i met him in 2008 the first thing i asked was are you a christian and he said he didn’t believe in God and once he saw the look on my face then he quickly changed his answer and i over looked that red flag, and slowly i found myself doing things i knew were wrong like being intimate with him, then after being intimate about a month later i found out he’s married with a baby on the way but by then in my mind i was in love. He did get a divorce a year later because his wife didn’t want him.I never would of thought i would stoop so low for a man,and he never would come and see me,we basically spent time on the phone that’s it because he moved 2hours away. It wasn’t until earlier this year i started to let go. I met him when i was 19, im now 22 and i cant honestly i was ever in a real relationship. I’m just seeking God and is just making jesus my focus and i know everything will fall into place. I love jesus so much, if i didn’t have my faith, i don’t know where i’d be right now. So no sex for me until marriage, I want to honor God and respect my future husband. I been through alot and i know i have to give it all to God because i can’t handle anything…Pray for me and i’ll pray for ya’ll.God bless.
7. bon on August 25th, 2011 3:41 pm

   I dont know why I am writing here but i guess i have to..i’ve read most of your stories and testimonies..I’ve been there too.one way or another.
   There was a time in my life when I was so in love with Christ and He was so gracious to me He even gave me a christian boyfriend.(i thought by then it was all too perfect) But in the end, I had to give him up to return to my FIRST LOVE-to GOD. SOmetimes, GOd would allow us to have what we want only for us to see how much He truly loves us. I’ve been through hard times letting go of that man but in the end, I am happy God never let me go either. When we love someone more than Him, everything is doomed to fail. But I’m happy i lost that man, cause I have God back now, And how could I not love God more.
   To all who must be having a tough time, just be certain on this: people come and go…but YOUR GOD will never leave you, and will never stop loving you. My ex may or may not have the chance again, but I sure know I’m never giving up my fist love ever again.
8. Silvia on February 17th, 2012 2:17 pm

   Hi All

   I’m a 25 year old christian lady and work at the Limpopo province, but i’m originally from the Eastern Cape and my family still stays there. When i was 12 years old, growing in the eastern Cape, my parents were poor and we stayed with my grandmother who was a teacher and teached at a farm far away from the main town. To go to the best multiracial school, i had to go and stay with my gradmothers family friend and her family in the city when i turned 12 years old as our family would be able to move to the city the following year. The family friends’family comprised of her son and daughter. I became part of the family and they loved me dearly. the son was slightly 7 years older than me, We were always like brother and sister until he had to go to varsity-the same year i was to join my family- that is when i realised that i had a crush on the guy. Our families drew very close friendships with each other over the years, as we went to the same church and were very commited to the church. As i was younger and very devout to the Lord (virgin), the guy would make comments about how he’ll marry me one day and would make these same comments jokingly to other people in the church and my family would regard it as a joke. I would be very firm and would at times rebuke him for his words, telling him that christian brothers ought not to joke about such sensitive subjects. As i grew older however and even lived miles away from our city of origin, my mind started to entertain the idea slightly, but i would obviously rebuke it. On his side the guy would asks for my number from my family, but they would not give it to him when i was at varsity, as at this time, there were romours of him living a double christian life. I took this as a mere temptation as i was very young then. Years down the line i get to turn 22 and guess who i meet in when i go for holidays at my home town!. The same feelings of old come up, and i am very happy to see him. He doesn’t call for three months after i give him my number. Not even having him on my mind during the three month period i pray to God to bring someone to me to marry, and vuala- guest who invites me on facebook as a friend and asks me to date him after two weeks. Since i was in prayer at the time, i tell him that he will have to wait as i ask for the Lords direction. A month into praying, i had received no response from the Lord, and the guy was pesterng me for an answer already. I asked him for a further 2 weeks in which i heard a voice,, it was very very loud in my hear and sounding angry, and it said “don’t date…..(name withheld), the voice made me wonder why it was so loud though- because isn’t supposed to be soft when he speaks to us. I prayed earnestly to God and randomly opened the bible to the book of Esther where Esther received favour and married the king. With this word, i regarded it as confirmation, but was still unsure. At my church there was a rule of “no dating” at the time and this guy wanted us to date, so i told him that we would have to get married and not date first- he didn’t like the sound of that, and i wanted to go according to my church rules. After i had refused to date him,- that night i was heart broken, and woke up the next morning and agreed to date him. I fell deeply in love with him and at that time was not so strong in the Lord, and neither was he, so we commited fornication. We live provinces apart and i would only see him when i am well off financially to travel. although i repented after we had sinned and i had told him that we must never do that again, he would keep trying to underestimate the notion of purity although he is a christian- and we had set boundaries at the beginning, but now he wanted to go all the way out of the chrstian life. Living in seperate provinces, i returned 6 months later and he confessed to me to having had numerous fornication partners while i was away, because i wanted to live in purity, he could not control himself- now i can forgive, but how do you get over the shame of knowing that you were one of the people that once fornicated with him, that people thought the two of you would be married one day, still feel hurt and care about the person, and still feel like you can’t face them for the horibble person they have turned out to be. Like how does a person- especially who was once a christian, family friend and that you developed feelings for over many years do something like this. When this happens you literaly feel like wiping yourself off the face of the earth. But truth be told, God is faithfull- I am planning to keep my distance, even telephonically from this guy now, but the pain is unbearable, please pray for me.
9. Willette Rivers on March 9th, 2012 3:59 am

   I had a relationship with a gentleman that I thought that I could establish a future with. Take noticed I said “I THOUGHT” .. I felt hesistate about this relationship in the beginning and should have taken that as I sign from GOD. I continued into this relationship with doubt and fear. The relationship just did not seem to feel right, but never the less I stayed in it not knowing a whole lot about this gentleman other than pretty much seeing him in a working environment and the few tidbits he cared to disclose. Our time togehter was spent in an intimate setting…which make me sick to my stomach…knowing that I was more deserving and that the GOD wanted more for me…I continued to with this for quite sometime. I decided to see if the anything more could be added to the so called relationship that I had in my mind…when I suggested other things..he became upset and distanced himself from me. Every now and then we send a text message…I am in so much pain, stressed and depressed from this and pray that GOD will give me the strength to endure…I don’t know what else to do..I should have never put him before my GOD…I am trying really hard to get my mind off of him. PLEASE PRAY FOR ME!

Feel free to leave a comment...