Masturbation and Christian Singles
Let’s talk about the M word and Christian singles. Male masturbation. Female masturbation. Adolescent masturbation. Chronic masturbation. Is it a sin to masturbate? Are you feeling uncomfortable yet? Most churches apparently are because they avoid the masturbation topic as well as Osama bin Laden evades captivity. This is a little ironic, to say the least, when survey after survey reveals a majority of single Christians of all different ages (guys and gals) have masturbated.
As a Christian single, just what are your feelings about masturbation? Are you a masturbator? Do you struggle with your Christian Lifestyle because you feel it is morally wrong? Do you live in guilt and confusion over the whole issue?
Personally, I can’t stand it when Christian teachers are so dogmatic on the “rights” and “wrongs” of masturbatory activities because it’s such a complex issue, with many different contingencies connected to the practice. So I’ll try to leave my preaching in the pulpit as I share from my heart some observations and Scriptures to help guide you through this sensitive issue.
Masturbation Observations
- The Bible is silent on the issue of masturbation even though the vast majority of humankind is preoccupied with it.
- The Roman Catholic Church, some Protestant denominations and even Webster’s Dictionary have attempted to equate the sin of Onan (Genesis 38:6-10) with masturbation, but a simple exegesis of these passages precludes this possibility. You see, under Jewish law, a person was required to procreate with his brother’s widow. When Onan refused out of selfishness, the Lord killed him. The bottom line here? God did not whack Onan for whacking off, but rather for “spilling his seed” by ejaculating outside of his dead brother’s wife during sexual intercourse.
- Many Christian singles and not a few Christian pastors feel masturbation to orgasm is acceptable in order to: 1) relieve unabated sexual tension, and/or 2) to avoid sexual immorality. The catch is that there should be no lustful thoughts connected to the act.
- The vast majority of single Christians feel that compulsive masturbation, simply for the purpose of self gratification, is always wrong. Most would also agree that habitual masturbation while single will make it harder for any future spouse to please them sexually.
Notwithstanding the above points, let the following paraphrased verses guide you as you pray and seek the Lord over whether masturbating should have any room in your life as a single person:
- Matthew 5:28- Looking lustily at a woman (or a man if you’re a woman) means you are commiting adultery in your heart.
- 1 Corinthians 6:12- All things are lawful for you, but not all things are profitable.
- 1Corinthians 6:19,20- Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, and so you should glorify God with it.
- 1 Thessalonians 4:4,5- You should learn to control your body in a holy and honourable way, not in passionate lust like the heathens.
- 2 Peter 2:19- You are a slave to whatever has mastered you.
- James 4:17- If you know you should do something, but fail to do it, it’s sin.
Finally, if you are a Christian who is really beating yourself up over the issue of masturbation, or are struggling with sexual impurity, remember that Jesus offers forgiveness (1 John 1:9) you and loves you where you are. Also consider the words of James Dobson of Focus on the Family:
“It is my opinion that masturbation is not much of an issue with God. It does not cause disease. It does not produce babies, and Jesus did not mention it in the Bible. I’m not telling you to masturbate, and I hope you won’t feel the need for it. But if you do, it is my opinion that you should not struggle with guilt over it.”
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[...] Many single Christians lack self control in their sex lives. Not a few have written us asking for help with their lack of self control in this area, and how to deal with the guilt over it. The top culprits of habitual masturbation, porn addiction and sex before marriage has disrupted their fellowship with the Lord. [...]
pls can i know more about masturbation?
What if masturbating leads a person to later on become more unlikely to say no in a dating relationship? They’ve already “felt” something that they think is similar to the real thing and decide that they want to feel it for real. Aren’t it the little weeds that ruin a beautiful garden?
And doesn’t it mean that you are technically not really a virgin for the sake of marraige!? Isn’t that the point of abstinence! To save that beautiful possession for the marraige bed and the marraige bed only!?
Take it from someone who knows…the guilt IS there. I’m not perfect and I have committed acts of masturbation in the past. And afterwards I felt completely guilty…the same way I would if I had lied…and lying is a sin is it not? I felt like God was displeased! And that’s a horrible and dangerous feeling.
Read Psalm 101 if you need further help. David said that he would be careful to lead a blameless life and reject perverse ideas. Sex outside of marriage is perverse so the very idea of sex with self should be just as perverse I think.
I’m not trying to condemn. I’m just seriously trying to make sense of why masturbation wouldn’t be considered a type of sexual sin??
The bad thing about masturbation is that an orgasm was meant to be shared in marriage as a culmination of two people coming together(no pun intended)and masturbation actually twists that by isolating a person sexually. And as far as masturbating without thinking lustful thoughts–good luck!
I am glad that I found this website that deals with the whole area of masturbation and Christian singles. I thank the author that understands Christian singles’ struggles as a single but yet have to cope with the natural biological sexual desire feelings that will come every month especially after menstrual period or when you are relaxed (which sexual desire is given by God to us human beings), that masturbation seems to be one effective way to relieve unabated sexual tension.
thanks so much!
ugh, I just wish I could have all of my hormones AND sexual organs removed. then I would just go to work and church, spend my money on bare necessities and give every cent that’s left to the church, then die and go to heaven.
For the past fifteen years of marriage I never thought of masturbation. Its now almost two years since I,m started practicing again without the knowledge of my wife. Of course sometimes my wife refuse to have sexual intercourse that leads me to practiced it more frequently. And also I’m finding pleasure in masturbation. Is it okay to continue, I need your advise please.
(Please don’t publish name email etc.)
I love to masturbate! I do it almost everyday. The problem is, it is almost like an addiction. I wonder if I should stop. Also, I wonder if it makes one gay. I would very much appreciate any insight as to whether masturbation is bad, and if it can cause you to be gay.
About masturbation: I don’t think masturbation is bad as long as you do not commit adultery by it, don’t obsess over it, and don’t watch porn. Porn is bad.
Umm, too confused: No, masturbation cannot make you gay. There is absolutely no evidence of a connection between the two, and probably never will be. I encourage you to look at the medical community’s standpoint on this issue as well; you can get information from the anatomical standpoint as well as the spiritual.
IMO, what makes a sin a sin? how about masturbation?
What’s the difference between habitually and once in a blue moon masturbation?
I believe the root cause of masturbation is due to the lack of faith as well as allowing the mind to idle and thus become perverse in thoughts then leads to masturbation.
Even for my unbelieving friends, they confessed that when they are busy with purposes to fulfill, job objectives to meet, they will not think the least of masturbation or anything about sex.
The fact that naturally we have all these hormones doesn’t negate masturbation from becoming not a sin. *aren’t we born naturally in sin? read Psalm 51 “in sin did my mother conceive me”
Although in the bible, there isn’t any explicit Thus saith the LORD with regards to the issue of masturbation. consider the case of if this act being revealed publicly, will it bring shame to Jesus Christ or will it glorify him? more of the shame than glory. Which is why i cannot accept the fact that it isn’t any less than a sin.
regarding masturbation: Christians can be very contradictory.
Sex is not a sin, but don’t think on sex.
And yes i’m a christian.
PD: sorry for the english, i dont’t speak english.
PD2: Jami: You see guilt when some one tells you there is guilt. It’s the FIRST time in +8 years of being Christian i hear about this, never in my life have i felt guilty about masturbation, but now i have doubt about masturbation and masturbating
The Bible does not help me here.
Try to be asexual? it’s impossible, hormones, desire, lust (in some ways) is there. The problem begins when you lose respect for other persons and for yourself.
masturbation in my opinion is a very tricky issue because there is a thin line between right and wrong and so you need the holy spirit to minister unto you so you know when your right and when your wrong .i believe that if you feel the urge to masturbate do so if you know you are going to fall into further sin .Do not look at porn and then go and masturbate that simply means you are submitting to porn and God says we are over comers we are not honouring God with our eyes . GOOD LUCK GUYS I NEEDED HELP ALSO
I have struggled with masturbation for many years. My view is I don`t believe God wants us to greatly suppress the yearnings he has instilled in us. And masturbation is a way of release without giving into the burnings over someone and then winding up getting married to the wrong person, or worse yet compromising our values, self respect.
That’s why I have come to the conclusion that masturbation is OK as long as it does not become a habit and, (this being the hardest part) if you can (excuse the pun) pull it off without lustful thoughts. I don`t think we can and therefore, to me the lustful thoughts make masterbation a SIN. “FORGIVE MY LORD A SINNER”!
so how exactly could one go about even getting errect without a lustfull thought???
I am a 25 year old single girl who is following Christ. I have practiced masturbation since high school and have struggled with lust and sexual fantasies since early puppetry around age 9. I was raised in a solid Christian home with a near perfect childhood. There is nothing negative in my past or family history that explains why I was (and still am) so sexually aware or even somewhat obsessed. Absolutely no one knows that I struggle so much with this issue. Sometimes I get frustrated and wonder why God allows me to have such pent up sexual tension when He has given me no outlet (marriage) to expend that energy and passion. I do have mixed feelings about the whole subject, but I try not to beat myself up with guilt about it. It’s really hard to be single and guard your purity today. I’m not advising masturbation at all and I wish it was not in my life.
The biggest problem I have is in the fact that the more I masturbate the greater my sexual appetite seems to grow. Recently, I found myself in a relationship that was based primarily on chemistry. Though I did not have actual intercourse with him, we did stimulate each other to orgasm and shared in mutual masturbation. I blame my vast experience with masturbating for why I fell so quickly. I knew what to do to pleasure myself and him. Sadly, I admit that I was tired of always being a “good girl†and I wanted to prove to myself that I could be sexy. By technical standards I guess you would say I’m still a virgin, but by God’s standards I have sinned. I now regret every minute I spent in my ex’s bed. I broke off the relationship and repented. God has restored my spirit and renewed my purity, yet there are still consequences to my sin and memories I can’t seem to erase…. My advice to anyone reading this is simply to do whatever you can to get control over this whole issue before it’s leads you too far down a very slippery slope. I pray Christ will give us all the strength to overcome the sin in each of our lives. God bless
wow in regard to masturbation, this is what i call being real guys. there is no greater way to dealing with an issue than talking about it and admitting its an issue.
truelly for most christians the “M” word is taboo. but i know we all have problems with it that why God’s grace is sufficient enough to save us all . And His love abounds forever.
Christ faced all the possible temptations any man could have faced and He overcame. to show us all that it is possible. and i know if any of us want to give up this act becuase it cost us. then we can do it. the holy spirit is our freind and present help. and all of us will have a testimony to share that will change peoples perceptions and views on this Topic.
WE ARE MORE THAN CONQUERORS……
In regard to masturbation, this was so awesome to see so many people discussing this Taboo issue of masturbation. I am in the ministry a single 37 year old never been married man and i struggle with this issue. Masturbation brings me guilt and condemnation but I repent and i know that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Wow. this is very difficult but I know that the lord has a great wife in store for me and I have to trust and hold on. I don’t know many men, married or single who do not masturbate. We talk about it and we pray for one another. God is so much greater than this and i know that he will help us overcome. In the mean time. I will not guilt myself to death but go boldly to the throne of grace to ask for his forgiveness if by chance i mess up. We cannot allow Satan to have a foothold in our lives by !) getting us to masturbate and 2) making us feel like crap after we fall on or face. I am learning more and more that WE serve an awesome God. He will forgive us. we just have to ask amen. His love is unconditional.
Signed
a sinner who struggles too.
Hi
I am 29 going on 30, female,single and sexually frustrated to the point where i am going to pull my hair out. I can barely handle it. Usually It would happen now and again, but I have suffered this month..terribly. I dont know how to ‘live’ with this. i wish I felt nothing instead of this torture.
I have read all of the above posts, and the message I am getting is that masturbation is something that we will continue to struggle with. I’m sure it is possible to overcome, but I have been struggling with it and am tired of feeling guilty. I keep asking God each night how many more times he weill forgive me before he turns his face away form me. I’m tird of masturbating and feeling guilty. Is it possible to stop overall, and for God to forgive me even a hundredth time?
Wow, there are so many people who struggle with masturbation - and yes, because of how I feel and what masturbation does to me emotionally and spiritually I think it is indeed a sin. There are plenty of other sins that are not faced head on in the bible, and so my thinking is it’s an obvious sin and its also not too big an issue for God to handle.
I want to relate to LP’s post above, same here, honey. I’m 26 and single and am waiting desperately for my husband! I’ve masturbated since being a very young child without really knowing what I was doing. My mum caught me masturbating a few times, and that was when I learnt it was ‘wrong’. I found it very hard to be ‘good’ with my boyfriends because of it, and found that in spite of their good intentions I would drive them crazy, even though I didn’t really understand what I was doing. I had sex with my last boyfriend. It was so easy because I felt just the same way when I masturbated and there’s always that feeling of ‘it’s so wrong, but it feels so good’.
I finished with him because I couldn’t live with myself. I realised I need God more than I need sex, and I can’t live even one day if God isn’t in my heart. But somehow, masturbating is still an issue with me. Sometimes I can go for weeks at a time not even thinking about it, but then other times it keeps me awake at night. I try to resist and hold onto God, but if I resist one night, it comes back again and again stronger and stronger every time until I give in. That is what tells me, personally, it is a sin. It is an evil that seems like will never let me go. I have to have faith and trust in the almighty power of the living God that his arm is around me - the same arm that flung stars into space holds me unconditionally close and tight. He is faithful, and we all are in His hand, He knows us everyone, how we struggle and fight this. We have to set our faces like flint and press into the truth that He saves us to the uttermost.
About masturbation, I’m a female, single, and 19 years old. I have never had a boyfriend, but ever since I became interested in boys during my first year of high school I realized that I was also very interested in sex and masturbation. I’m still a virgin, but struggle with a desire for sex daily. I was 14 when I started masturbating. I felt guilty about it, but when I tried to find it condemned in the Bible, there was no place where it was specifically mentioned. Its been a hard struggle for me not knowing whether masturbation was ok or not, yet I was always able to rationalize what I was doing. I want to live my life to please God and that becomes ever difficult when I allow anything else to be the master of me. Masturbation had become my other master I was unable to resist… or thought myself as such. However I believe what the bible says about not being able to serve two masters, and I’ve come to the conclusion that masturbation may not be a sin for all people, but for me it is. I liken myself to the man with a weaker faith in romans 14 although the situation is different. It is because know I will never be fully convinced in my mind that masturbation brings glory to God. I decided I must abstain from it to the Lord giving thanks to God. I failed in abstaining yesterday… but for the first time in a long time I was broken enough that I was able to tell my friend about my struggle against masturbation. She assured me that she thought no less of me for what I had done and still loved me and accepted me. I have realized that I let masturbation be a secret because of another sin: Pride. I didn’t want anyone to know because it would ruin their opinions of me. If anyone reading this is struggling with the issue of masturbation… you might want to see if it is causing you to sin in other areas of your life, such as pride or idolatry. It was for me, and one of the worst things about my situation is how isolated I’ve felt from friends and family… because I wouldn’t tell anyone. I may never feel able to tell my parents…. but I don’t want to keep it to myself anymore. 8/11/08
LP in regard to masturbation, if you confess your sin, He is faithful and just to forgive you and cleanse you of all unrighteousness. Don’t condemn yourself for something God doesn’t even know about anymore! You probably need to have a talk with your boyfriends, how far you think is alright during dating before things get that heated again. Work on the spiritual compatibility,first; then the mental/emotional compatibility. Wait on the marriage vows to explore sexual compatibility.
If you read what “same old same old” wrote and what I wrote to Claire, I would suggest the same thing. The more you know about your sexual feelings before marriage, the more you’ll be able to share with your spouse. The more uninhibited and enjoyable will be your experiences together.
If any of you are struggling with masturbation, check out settingcaptivesfree.com It is truly a helpful website that helps people break free of the addiction. You can be set free through Jesus and his glory can transform you.
saludos a todos con relacion a todo esto que hablaron es muy cierto en mi caso yo me masturbo pero no con mucha frecuencia. y cuando me masturbo es para sastifacer ese deseo enorme que llevo dentro mi no pienso en mujer no pienso en nada solo en masturbarme
no se si estoy pegando contra Dios pero yo creo que en uno no pensando en mujeres o viceversa uno se puede masturbar porque habemos persona que usamos este medio para sastifacer la necesidad pero hay otro que lo usan para corromperse y caer en el pecado.
For those who feel guilty about masturbation: There is such a thing about fake guilt. satan can twist our emotions to bring us farther from God, so we feel hopeless and turn away from God even if we didn’t do anything wrong.
In regard to masturbation: There are so many unanswered questions and from the begining The evil one has twisted the truth starting with Eve who was not present at the time when God instructed Adam to his responsibilities to the rest of the creation. To make this simple it is like this: The evil one told Eve a twisted truth; You will be like God; “Knowing the difference from right and wrong”. The wrong: Masturbation; The right: Confess our sins; James 4:17. The wrong thing to do is to deny our sin, the right thing to do is to confess our sin. Knowing that confessing our sins brings forgiveness is knowing to do good.
As we can see here, masturbation is a hot topic among Christian Singles, even tho churches are in large part avoiding such issues.
I am a 22 years old male. I have not a girl friend. But I wish I had my first and last, i,e a wife. I am tempted by masturbation most of the time. Sometimes my sexual zeal and passion makes me crazy. I pray to live a life so much far from this but I can’t stay more than a month. Please give me your precious advice?
I am a 32 year old single male virgin who has had an off and on struggle with masturbation for many years now. When I was a teenager I would look at women in catalogs and magazines that my mom would keep in the bathroom and then rub myself through my underwear. Now at that time I didnt really understand what I was doing, other then it feeling good, because a subject like that was not mentioned in my Christian home or my strict Christian schooling. I stopped doing it for a long time after finding out what it was I was doing. (especially the lusting after the women part).
When I got into my 20s I would masturbate from time to time…but not that often because I wasnt sure if it was really a sin or not. But now I have really been wondering even more because the last year or two has been very difficult for me. Its like since I hit my early thirties my sex drive has jumped into overdrive and I have really had more of a need (and at times urge) to masturbate. At times I have had guilt for doing so and other times I have not, which has further complicated my thoughts on the issue. Plus the recent scientific studies by doctors that show that regular masturbation is a stress reducer (sexual, physical, and mental) and can help the prostate remain healthy and at less risk for prostate cancer.
Now I know that using lustful thoughts is wrong, but at times I have used them when masturbating, especially when I sex drive seems to be way out of control (which happens periodically) . But, believe it or not, I actually can masturbate without having lustful thoughts. In fact most of the times that I masturbate I have no lustful thoughts whatsoever, I focus solely on how Im doing it and the feeling it is giving me.
I also have a very good understanding of the Bible and I know that the Onan passage, which most bring up, was not about masturbation and that the Bible doesn’t specifically mention it. I also know that God has that someone special out there for me to spend the rest of my life, both sexual and otherwise, but I have yet to find her. In fact, Ive had a very difficult time finding any women…that aren’t already in a relationship…which further complicates my desires (both to be married and the sexual aspect it entails).
After reading this message, and people’s comments, and with my knowledge of the Bible and the scientific evidence, I am beginning to believe that as long as lust is taken out of the picture and you do not let the act of masturbation control you or your life then masturbation is not a sin.
I understand where you are coming from, i had the same view untill recently.. i actually had accidentally discovered i could.. orgasm by doing pull ups… and hey.. its not lust right? Well, it wasnt lust, but it was sexual sin, and after i realized it, i stopped.. but then i fell into masturbation.. still without lusting.. but let me tell you something… i have never felt so separated from God then when i masturbated… God didnt design us with our own pleasure in mind, he designed us to give our bodies to our spouses, and he never meant for us to enjoy sex.. with ourselves, that’s hedonism..
-thanks.. Greg
Hey everyone,
lol…. not a good start 
…. honestly life would be so much easier if God hadnt given us these feelings till after we were married… Sometimes i hate every part about me that wants to break my self control…. and unfortunatly it manages to break alot…. can somone please give me an awnser…. im sick and tired of having no way out of this…
Look im not trying to say one way or another, but im just fed up with my freaking issues about it…. i looked it up on the interent and everyone seems to be speaking 2 different things, Either “God gave us arms long enough” or ITS EVIL AND YOUR GOING TO HELL….. personally i feel very guilty about it after i do it… and im not perfect and im a 20 year old male who is a returning to christ backsliden chrstian who isnt a virgin anymore, and im on the road to recovery, its not easy to deal with matters like this…. i seriously just want help to know what to do…. people say its ok … however i dont believe it… and other people say its wrong… and to trust God completely… but its rediculas…. its a constant struggle… and i dont have much willpower…..
Elijah
To Elijah,
I’ve been reading The Game Plan by Joe Dallas that may offer some help. You might want to get your hands on it for some advice/guidance.
I’m Emmanuel, and am almost 30, I have taken time to read what everybody have written so far. Masturbation”
Masturbation can not be Over Ruled, Talking from its two view, the Biblical view and the Scientific View. It is True the Bible in Matthew 5:28 say’s anybody who look at a woman Lustfully have committed sex with her and is Guilty of Adultery, and that is a Sin. from my Idea, Masturbation is a Sin, because you most picture having sex with somebody while Masturbating, which is “Lustfully”.
Then, the Scientist have taken time to study the Effects of Masturbation, they have Argued , that is has no Side Effect, and it prevent you from Embarrassment. This Might be true but the Question is what view are you Interested to follow, but whatever view you follow, remember…..”If your Conscience did not condemn you, then you are not Condemned”.
I am also using this Opportunity to ask for friendship, I am deeply in need of a Christian Single Lady from Middle East Especially; Please if you are Interested, do write me through ezenwaohizu@yahoo.co.uk
Thanks
Emmanuel
First I would love to thank the Author of this great passage; You and what you’ve posted means alot. Bless your heart.
As a Christian, I would understand that masturbation is wrong, simply because it’s an act of sin. Prior to masturbation are sexual cravings which should be kept under subjection with the power and authority that God has given us over our minds and bodies.
As Christians, it is only foolish to perform and try to justify acts of sin. But rather let us strive to stay Kingdom minded, not so attatched to fleshly desires.
I love you all
we all are sinners and need to realize that this masterbation issue is all because of that serpent SATAN who disgust me . we need to call on the Lord every time we get these urges or get ocupied with some sporting activity like kicking a ball or playing basket ball, running around etc. THANK GOD FOR BEING IN MY LIFE THAT I CAN CONTROL MYSELF AND COME TO HIM WHEN I NEED HELP AND GUIDANCE IN TROUBLE TIMES. I’m 17 years old and i’m very much experienced in many ways exsept sexually. OUR GOD IS AN AWESOME GOD!
Love always,
Mc carson Bledman
————————
Christian friend
Hey what up, I’m 18 in college and just left home, now i do feel sexually tempted but i’m still a virgin, but on the rare occasions that I tried to masturbate, I always felt ashamed or guilty afterwards and I was raied in a christian home. I think therefore that it must be wrong and that everytime we do so we are defiling our bodies with lust and impurity. However this doesn’t stop us from wanting 2 do it
I have had a hard time trying to come to terms with this. Ihave come across websites where itsaid masturbation was wrong and others where masturbation was okay but it was interesting how none of them have said,” Masturbation is right! Feel free to do it,” as the authors of the articles themselves feel guilty if they were to claim it as being right to do…There are times when I have fallen into the habit of masturbation and other times when I haven’t had a thought on my mind in months. But since I have moved to away and am living alone I began to do it more frequently. I think masturbation is a sin, but I also believe that it is only a sin when self-gratification and lustful thoughts are in mind. I have sinned through masturbating plenty of times and I know God has forgiven me for each encounter. I can say I am getting better.
After reading the blogs I have noticed that through the years I have experienced most of what many of you have. I have masturbated because I lusted, I masturbated because I wanted to feel self graticifcation, and I have masturbated without either.
I started to masturbate at the age of 9-10. I am now 20 years old, single and female. I recall waking up in the middle fo the night feeling really warm and moist in my genital area, wanting to find some sort of satisfaction, yet, I didn’t know what. It was like a self-discovery. It was like this part of me that was feeling different than what I remembered and I did not know why. I thought there was something wrong at first but figured my body must have done this on its own and I hadn’t done anything to provoke this so I figured it was okay. I can remember feeling myself and experimented with the touching and how things felt. I recall even smiling at what I was feeling and progressed to orgasm. And from then I told myself that I was for my husband and only he was the person responsible for satisfying me in this way. And mind you I had not come across any information about marriage of leaving and cleaving, or I hadn’t even known about what God said the resposiblities for a man and woman were in marriage. Come to think of it, the pastor of my church had never, to this day, spoken on the man and woman’s role in marriage and what type of relations were implied. My parents nor siblings had spoken of such things. But I can say that I was raised in a Christian home.
I did this until almost high school when I found out that it may indeed be wrong. In my passport to purity class the topic of masturbation was not mentioned so I continued to wonder about the sin it may entail. But with my confusion I continued to do it. Feelings of guilt did rise and confusion continued to take its residence within me. I kept this a secret from everyone and still remain to. But I don’t believe I am the only one in my family to do so. I think it is just one thing that my parents believed it to be better left unsaid. I do think that it is a sin when done for selfish reasons which the majority of the reasons would be due to selfishness. I don’t believe I was being intentionally selfish when I first did it but a number of times after I would say I was being selfish. This is still a complicated subject in my mind. I still submit to masturbation when it is completely overwhelming to the piont where I lose sleep and focus. There are times when I masturbated so the I could simply carry on with my day.
I have prayed to God about it and He says that for me it would be best to obstain from it and I have done well so far this past week or so. I have been talking to God about how anxious I am to get married and have someone to give myself to. Having sex with my husband and giving to him what he needs is something I would like to prepare myself for. I have told God about this problem and what I am aiming for. I asked God to help me in preparing myself for MY marriage. In my case, masturbation is a sin. I am prone to becoming enraptured in it.
My Advice to yo would be to: Ask God what would be best for you to do. He’ll give you an aswer. If you would like me to pray for you in seeking an answer to this question I will be happy to.
Go with God and He will guide you. Let us keep one another in our prayers! I love you all and come to God with your goals and aspirations for a life partner. He’ll stir you in the right direction. Trust Him to.
(PLEASE DO NOT PUBLISH E-MAIL ADDRESS)
I too have struggled with masturbation for many years but it was only a year ago that I had lustful thoughts accompany the act. I feel certain that masturbation because of/during lustful thinking is a sin because in that way a person is taking and using the body of another that is not theirs.
But masturbation without lustful thoughts (I have done that repeatedly)? Even after reading all these responses (bless you all) and others I still am at an impasse: can masturbation be used to glorify God, extolling Him with the pleasures of this Temple He has given me and providing me with release? Or is it a singular, selfish act, a feeling that is only meant to be shared between a man and wife?
Human opinion will only serve to confuse me more, so I ask of anyone who reads this to please pray for me. Even if it is only once it will certainly help me. Thank you all.
Hey everyone!
Ive read the majority if everyone’s opinions and suggestions and I still cant find the answer I’m looking for… I’m a 20yr old female virgin, soon to be wed and struggling with lustful sexual feelings/appetites. I dont know what to feel anymore. My fiance and I have recently accepted the Lord as our savior again, reconciled, and before this we used to masturbate each other. We’ve struggled a lot and I have noticed that I’m the passionate one. I want to stop any feelings or desires. But this week has been so hard. And I don’t feel anything, that’s what worries me. Sometimes I feel guilty but then there are times (like now) that I honestly don’t feel that masturbation is a sin. When I used to rub myself I wouldn’t think of no one it would just be done to satisfy nothing else. I really want to worship the Lord with all my heart and soul but Its hard to ignore these feelings. I want to give myself completely to God and sing to him with liberty not with guilty thoughts. Sometimes I feel distant and other times I just feel numb. I dont know what to feel anymore and I dont know how to react and what to do because I cant keep on asking and waiting for God to keep on forgiving me for the same thing. Sometimes I believe one day God will tell me he wont forgive me anymore. I ask that whoever reads this to plz pray for me and hopefully December will come soon so I can be happily married and forget about all of this. GODD BLESS!
Hi All. I’m a 23 year old “christian” female. I never ever imagined in the whole two years that I’ve struggled with masturbation that there are other young people facing the exact same issues. I’m a virgin, by definition, but it gets so hard at times…I havn’t really wanted to have sex out of personal choice even though I was presented with the opportunity,but when it comes to maturbation, it’s like a whole different force completely takes over all logic and sense. I love God, and I want to be clean, of this because it’s holding me back.It’s as though God refuses to remove this cup, I struggle with it dayly, there are weeks when it doesn’t bother me, because I’ve repented and I’m desperate for God’s forgivness, but than there are those days when it just takes over. It hurts so badly, cause I feel like I have no control over it…and it’s like i’m playing games with God, because I repent and ask for forgiveness and than a few days later i’m doing it all over again. I feel like I’m suffering from a terminal disease.The guilt is so immense and yet, I can’t stop myself.I really need help, because I recently feel the need to watch porn, to kinda get with the times, you know. I am the most terrible sinner and I hate myself for it, and yet it’s a cycle that dosn’t seem to end. I am so desperate right now, because temptation is looming…I wish that I could hold on to something, but I would die if anyone found out, because people see me as capable of no wrong, I want to scream out that I am the worst of sinners, and yet I can’t because I’m afraid of a tainted image. I live with different masks for different days, I’m so tired of it, I just want to be real, and accepted with this mess, that I caused…It’s such a relief to just be myself, and yet nobody knows who I really am, so it’s easy to write this…I just want this to end.Will it ever end? Or am I doomed to live in guilt and regret, and fear that I could die and go to hell at any moment…
I am an ex-christian, however, I do feel I have something useful to contribute. I know how the shame feels. It feels like a total contradiction to the life you are trying to lead. But I do know that the more you try NOT to do something the more difficult it becomes.
I think it is the thoughts rather than the act that is the issue. If the thoughts are focused on the idea of making love to an imaginary future spouse, or an existing one when you are away from them, then its probably not wrong.
Love making with a spouse is I believe a great gift and one that God would want us to enjoy fully with gusto. If a partner can help the other to please them then masturbation can play a role in self-education. Having a fulfilling sexual relationship is very, very important, especially for young couples.
It can also play a positive role in helping an individual stay celibate till the time comes.
Its almost impossible for young people to overcome this. People who say ‘God has helped me overcome’ etc. are deluding themselves.
I think God is more interested in helping you become a positive person in your family and community. Beating yourself up over a bit of self-pleasuring and grovelling to God is a self-centered and unproductive waste of time.
Not to mention blaming Satan. The time you spend absorbed in yourself is more of a gift to the devil than you think the act is.
Talk to your friends, you’ll soon find out they are all having the same problem . Bring dark secrets out to the light and you’ll soon feel a lot better. Remember that shame was Adam and Eves’ sin ie. hiding from God.
Especially girls get really tortured ,because girls ‘don’t do those things, do they? ‘ (Yeah, right!) Trust me, they are often worse offenders than the males.
Get out there, do your bit, stop thinking about yourself and your own salvation! You’ll feel a lot better.
Well, that’s my contribution.
All the best to you all
Hi. I have been struggling nine years with masturbation. Sometimes I like it then sometimes I think I know it is wrong. I repented because I didn’t want to live filthy like the world but it’s very very very hard when you have those desires.
I am a male. I am deaf. I have problem with my masturbation, sometime it tempt me to do it. I am divorce and have 3 children now they are adults. I want to stop it cos I am christian. I want to be clean for my Lord. I think Masturbation is a sin. I need to help to stop it control me.
chris
niteowl had earlier said this. “And as far as masturbating without thinking lustful thoughts–good luck!”
Not to bash the post- because it is a good warning-
However difficult, it is possible to masturbate without thinking of lustful thoughts.
It’s already sort of an empty act- so taking conscious thought out of it makes it a lot like absent-mindedly scratching an itch- or blowing your nose. Gets the job done with no harm done so long as it’s simple, quick, and alone.
This was poor counsel. In a nutshell masturbation is self indulgence. Sex is about giving to yur mate, NOT pleasing yourself. If you are masturbating, you SHOULD feel guilty! Cause you are, but praisse the Lord there forgives for sins..for every sexual sin. The Lord exalts the humble.
Dear Janet and Chris (and all who posted),
I think we may have addressed this on another post, so forgive any repitition. Masturbation, as we know it, is not specifically addressed in the bible. Many Christians have different view points on the subject. We do know that the motivations behind the act are generally sinful. Lust or self indulgence can be destructive. The hormones that we have are pure and a gift from God. Please don’t feel ashamed of those. God doesn’t want you to supress the gift He gave you, He wants you to use them in the way they were intended. These gifts were meant to glorify Him, through our marriages on earth. The enemy uses these feeling against us until we end up feeling worthless and dirty. Ultimately the enemy succeeds in seperating us from God.
I must disagree with the last posting. God has no place for guilt. Guilt and degregation are the enemy’s tools that keep us seperate from Jesus. We are told to confess and repent and forgiveness is ours. There isn’t any place in the bible that tells us to confess, repent, feel the appropriate amount of guilt and then if God thinks it we have sufficiently suffered He may forgive us.
Jesus already paid our debt. Anytime you try to add anything to that equation, you are saying that His death on the cross wasn’t sufficient.
God made us in His image, a beautiful creation. It would be sad to think one of the gifts He gave us, being reduced to “getting the job done” (referring to another post).
It is never too late to turn a corner and change, It is the foundation for being born again. Pray for him to turn your eyes away from worthless things. (Psalm 119:37-39)
God Bless,
Jodi
Christian Singles Blog Moderator
the bible tells us to remove all hints of sexual immorality in our lives. this includes masturbation beacuse 1) it is almost always caused by lustful thoughts and fantasies, 2) this causes some to be addicted to sensual pictures and pornography which leads to 3) objectifying women and later messing up your relationships with the women God has given you in life eg mother, sister, female friends etc. I have been struggling withit for some time but God gave me freedom through the book “every young man’s battle ” the bible also says, “there is a way that seems right to a man but in the end it leads to death” just because everyone is doing it doesn’t mean it’s right. eg, if you were in sodom/gommorah would you indulge in those perversions the people practised?a young teen speaking from experience.
In my opinion, masturbation is not always the response to lust or sexual fantasies. Although you must lust and fantasizes to fulfill the act. Yes, many times lust or the lack of ability to find control in that area have great impact, but is often not the root cause. However, sometimes lust manifest itself do to the absent of a ligitimate need. Lust developes when it exceed beyond what is natural. For example, we all have a ligitimate need for food, but we should not eat more then what is necessary. A person may have a ligitmate need for love, affection, emotional support and companionship. A my person may feel lonely or unloved, fustrated or hopeless and in their attempt to fulfill their litigitimate need for affection, help or support can sometimes lead to perversion. The body does have ligitimate needs: like the eyes have a ligitimate need to see, the ears have ligitimate need to hear. People have a ligitimate need for affection. This is no excuse for sin, but this is one of the reason, why, some people for short in this area. We all must pray and asked for God’s help in this area. The bible says in 1 Corinthian 7:8 it’s better to marry then to burn. Also, 1 Corinthian 7:1-2 says to avoid sexual immorality let every man have his own life. We all must walk in the Spirit and be led by the Spirit to put to death the misdeeds of the body. Some people have to find the strength from God and learn control in this area. For all wrong doing is sin.
Dear Dath,
You have made some very good points and it is clear that you have committed yourself to living in God’s path of righteousness. Thank you for the book that you reference. There isn’t much written (secularly) on the subject and I think that it would be useful.
Unfortunately a majority of people do fall into the trap or “everyone else is doing it” The more we are exposed to something the more “normal” it seems to become. When we ask ourselves the question “Could everyone else be wrong?” The answer is a resounding YES. We are God’s chosen (and few) He wants all of His people to be His followers, but the majority that we share this world with are not. Praise God that you have received freedom in Jesus.
God Bless,
Jodi
Christian Singles Blog Moderator
i look at porn on the net and i really hate but i keep going back and i am single male. i dont know why really and i fast forward all them. then i masturbate and i feel sick about it. i am going to try and do my best to stay and i want to stay from this stupid crap. i understand that God forgives and i happy about that. i finally understand now and i need to move with my life and not do this anymore. Like what post said ” just because everyone is doing it doesn’t mean it’s right. She right so i am going to stop feeling guilty and let God lead my life instead of me leading it. Thanks for all your help and God Bless You.
Dear Joe,
Amen! The first step in the right direction is realizing that you are going in the wrong one. The you can make a u-turn. Everytime that the enemy tempts you, don’t think about the momentary satisfaction you will have. FAST FORWARD (as you said) to the hurt you feel afterwards. Ask yourself? Was it worth it? You know what the answer will be.
In His Love and name,
Jod
Dear Joe,
God made you just the way you are. He gave you a healthy dosage of hormones, that he intended for you to use for His glory. He also gave you a heart to love Him, which you clearly do. The Holy Spirit is living in you and that is what makes you feel sick when you act on your human impulses. With God you can defeat the enemy at his own game. Pray for Him to turn your eyes away from worthless (Psalm 119:37)
God Bless,
Jodi
I’m not entirely sure how I stumbled upon this… well, I was looking for Christian Singles in the hopes that I’d find someone I ‘clicked’ with. And here I am…
In my feelings of loneliness and solitude, I realize that I’m really not. And reading this has been a blessing!
I’m a 23 year old guy and have had the same struggles. Impatience, unreliance on the Lord to fulfill my needs, the pride of wanting to be the master of my own fate, are all sins I personally need to confess.
But, God is so good! There’s no other way to put it.
May all the women reading this have the grace, perseverance, and loyalty that Ruth portrayed.
May all the guys exhibit the compassion, strength, and sincerity that Boaz portrayed.
And may all of us have the patience, faith, and longing for purity that the both of them had.
The Lord made it possible for them to come together (and even be in the lineage of Christ Jesus), He can do the same for all of us here!
Jesus is our kinsman Redeemer! And what He has in store is better than any of us can perceive or what the enemy disillusions in our minds.
May His strength be our own. May His will for our lives be our desire.
I stumbled across this website while looking for articles on purposeful single life. I’m a 32 year old single man and like many of you here I’m guessing, waiting patiently on the Lord to provide a wife. I have to say I found this discussion interesting and wanted to share my 2 cents.
Firstly, love should be a giving of self to another. A heroic act of dying to ones self to serve another. To give generously of yourself to another (your spouse). Intercourse is the ultimate and most intimate way of expressing that love and giving ourselves completely to the good and pleasure of the other. This is God’s plan for love and our sexuality!
With masterbation, is the misuse of that gift that God has given us, for our own selfish desires. So what was meant to be used in selflessness, is now used in selfishness. Not very good preparation for a future marriage! and I’ll tell you why. When a man or woman has an orgasm, they release a bonding chemical in their brain that bonds them to the person they are making love to. For a woman, this also happens when she has a child (to create a bond between mother and child). When you masterbate and have an orgasm, you are in effect bonding to the images either infront of you (pornography) or in your mind (fantasies). This inturn makes it harder to bond to your future spouse. God made us to bond to one person, our future spouse!
Masterbation is a selfish use of the sexual organs for your own gratification. You are the only one that benifits, not a spouse who was supposed to recieve that gift from you. One of the dangers of masterbating is that when you do get married you can carry in a mindset of self gratification into the marriage that has developed from masterbating and this inturn leads to the using of your spouse for your own “needs” and your spouse feeling unloved or used. I could go on and on about the dangers of masterbation….
My brothers and sisters in Christ, do not be fooled by the tricks and lies of the devil. It’s a sin. Whether masterbation is a problem for you or not we must still pray for ourselves and each other in regards to purity. I urge you to put your armour on (prayer) and fight the good fight! Pray for the grace to remain pure, fill your mind and heart with good things and good friends, get rid of sexually suggestive or explicit music, movies, websites, newspapers, magazines, friends, humor, social settings, You may not realise how much they subconsciously condition your thinking and distort your conscience and actions. Call on the grace of God because nothing is impossible to God!
God Bless you all
This site has been very interesting to read and it does help that others have the same struggles as I do. It is hard when you feel alone in your struggles and that no one understands what you are experiencing.
CDBoston: I think you definitely hit the nail right on the head. For some of us, me being a 38 yr old female, it does not start with a need to overcome sexual lusts or desires. It starts with feelings of loneliness, a desire to love, to want to be loved, etc. Mine usually begins days or weeks before with thoughts of being in a relationship (something I have not experienced in almost 10 years), then those day dreams lead to romantic thoughts which in turn lead to masturbation. Afterwards, the feelings of loneliness coupled with guilt are almost too much to bear. I even feel ashamed to pray because I know better.
The thing is we have no choice but to try to get back up again. However, I feel like maybe if I give up the desire to find a mate and marry, then this will stop. I don’t know.
I struggle with the fact that by giving up, I feel like I am not trusting God to provide the desires of my heart but by doing this, will only delay what God has for me. I want to please God but my human-ness definitely gets in the way.
Okay seriously, if someone tells me that they have never masterbated I would call them a liar. I truly believe that due to the fact that many people are “waiting to be married” does not mean that your body is going to stop functioning. I am reading some of these comment and they are little silly. You are saying pray pray pray and have faith faith faith, but you are not addressing the core issue is that marriage is eluding so many christian women, esp. black christian women. Turning off your natural urges is silly. If God didn’t want you to have it He would remove those feelings until you are married. I am not advocating masterbation, but don’t beat your self up over it.
And to add more to the fire, we are seeing a huge number of pastor, minister, bishops and so forth falling like flies over sexual sins. They are being caught in some of the most disgusting forms of sexual perversion. Look at Haggard (i think that is his name), this guy was leading this huge project about transforming gays into straight human beings. Now we know he is a stone cold practicing homosexual. ARE YOU KIDDING ME! We as christians have got to give more practical advise to those who are having trouble with their sexual desires.
I understand, but definitely disagree. Either we believe God or we don’t. It’s all or nothing. He says ther is no temptation given unto man that is not common. And he will not allow us to be tempted more than we can bare. Also he promised a way of escape from that temptation. I am not perfect, but he is who lives in me. We have been equpped to overcome the tempation, We just choose with our limited free will to disobey and not excercise our rights and equipment. This often comes from not knowing who we are as the Children of God. Satan comes in to attack us at our strongest desires and weakest points. By having TRUE faith and a TRUE understanding that we have authority over the enemy and all his schemes….we can overcome ANYTHING. By our faith it can done. There is no excuse, GOD will help us…he already has with the Holy Spirit, we just forget who we are and act like the world sometimes. We need to open our mouths and speak that we will obey God tonight and that my body and actions will glorify God, tomorrows another day, but this moment God wins with me. Before long…it will become a practice and a behavior and then a lifestyle that has conquered that sin.
Hey I would like to ask everyone something… What do u do if u are a New Christain and u have not reached that level in Christ that other have… I know it is a sin to have sin before marrige but how do u work thru it. I just recieved the Holy Ghost and my boyfriend of 2yrs will not talk to me anymore because I won’t have sex with him anymore but I still am a woman and I just pray and pray and pray but the feeling moves inside of me…. that was a demon that I have been dealing with for a long time…. My boyfriend is the first guy that I have been with besides the man that malested me as a child…..I was dating woman for along time and never thought that i would ever have sex with a man in my life… So now that I have gaven my life to the Lord the devil has been on me hard HELPPPPPPPPPPP……………………
its quite interesting and amusing to read everything that you guys have written. like the rest of you, i too have been struggling with masturbation. for some time there, i had conquered the habit with much faith and hope that i would get a godly mate. i am 36 years old and still technically a virgin. but i think as the years have gone by with no godly mate showing up, i began to get bitter at God and to let go my self control with the result that i began to masturbate. i even made it worse by deliberately looking at sex on the internet (over 1 or 2 days). somehow seeing two people having the real thing really had an impact on me - i had never seen this before. i just keep asking God why the loooooonnnnnnnngggg endless wait for a Godly husband that i can fiiiinnnnnaaallllyyyyy give myself to? i mean, soon i will be going through menopause without having enjoyed sex. is this fair? i am really struggling in my belief that God has only the best for me. why won’t he bring the right guy along my path?
really frustrated!
Techieperson, you said a lot of great things.
I think it’s nearly impossible or very very difficult to masturbate without lustful thoughts or self-gratification. And if you weren’t doing it for self-gratification, then what would be the point of you doing it in the first place? Some have said that they have overwhelming sexual desires. I’ll address that in a bit.
I used to be overpowered by masturbation. It was pretty much an addiction. It was a physical satisfaction and medically, society will tell you it’s ok to masturbate, it’s safe and there’s no risks for STDs, etc. Some will say it’s ok to masturbate as long as there’s no sexual thoughts or lust involved. That proved to be very difficult for me. The reason why I would masturbate is because a lustful thought entered my mind. That is what started the cycle. Just one lustful thought was enough to make me fall and it’s true for a lot of other people.
If it was ok to do, then why did I feel so far away from God after? I felt so ashamed, that I could barely pray during the period of addiction. I just felt like I couldn’t enter into the presence of God. I truly felt like He was displeased.
I would ask forgiveness and God would forgive me, but then after doing it again, I would just feel the exact same crappy feeling. Society said it was ok, but it was so obvious to me that spiritually it wasn’t. If it was spiritually alright, then why was it ruining my relationship with God?
Some time after that, I came to a point in my life where all I could do was put my trust in God. A situation happened that caused me to need to surrender my life to God. I rededicated my life to Jesus and began listening to a sermon from pastor greg laurie almost every night. Basically, I spent time listening to the word of God and surrounding myself with the word of God daily.
Everything else after that was natural. Because I was surrounding myself with the word of God by listening to a Christian message every night, those are the thoughts that filled my mind. There was simply not enough room for sexual thoughts that could lead to sexual desires.
It was no longer “how can I abstain from sexual desires?” but it then became “What can I do to please the Lord?” The difference in those questions is that the second one focuses on the Lord while the first one focuses on yourself. And of course, abstaining from sexual sin falls under the second question.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m still a sinner. I’m still tempted. But this is no longer a sin that controls me, no a longer a sin in which I feel helpless. Jesus saved me. You see, it’s all in the mind. What do you fill your thoughts with? Spend your energy and thoughts on serving the Lord! If you fill your mind with holy thoughts, thoughts of our Lord, holy actions will follow.
In closing, I’ll post a link to a christian message called “Love, Sex & the Single Christian.” It’s an audio of pastor greg laurie’s message.
http://odeo.com/episodes/24321839-Love-Sex-the-Single-Christian-I
I am reading sooooooo many different opinions here on masturbation and sexual purity. Lets face it here guys and gals….we are all sexual beings by nature and to want to experience the sexual innate desires that inhabit our bodies is a sure thing. Can anyone remember being a teenager when we were all virgins and wondering many times what sex was like? We all have hormones and we all have sexual desires and it is completely normal and natural. There is a fine line between masturbating for one’s relief of sexual tension or build up and masturbating to fulfill one’s wretched and evil sexual desires (ie: pornography, using inappropriate “tools”, thinking evil thoughts to produce sexual orgasm).
That’s where we should rely on the holy spirit to correct us when we have given in to sexual sin. Don’t worry — He will correct us!!! If He has convicted you….repent and resist the temptation like you would any other temptation to sin in our lives. If you are not convicted by the holy spirit and you are a devoted Christian man or woman - don’t worry…it’s likely you have not committed any sexual immmorality. Let’s just pray for one another —- don’t let Satan keep us in guilt and confusion!
Dear Lady,
Your situation is not an easy one and not uncommon either. Most important to know if that there is no “level” when it comes to Christ. There is nothing you need to do or strive for. As you continue your walk with Jesus, your faith will be strengthened. It is no surprise that the devil is on you hard. He just lost you and trust me he isn’t happy about it. Often the more we immerse ourselve in God, the enemy likewise turns up the heat to see if we can withstand it. We can! God will not allow us to be tempted more than we can bear (1 Corinthians 10:13)
I am sorry saddened to hear about your childhood experience. I will pray that Jesus fills up all the holes that were left in your heart.
It is difficult to be in a relationship where one person is a non-beleiver. It is especially challenging since yours started before you accepted Jesus Christ. Don’t equate his lack of acceptance with his feeling for you. Your boyfriend is feeling done wrong by. The rules have changed mid way through the game.
While he may not like the idea, he will have to accept it if he wants to remain in your relationship. I wish I had better news for you, but this may be the time to move on. This will be a constant struggle for you otherwise.
The fear I hear in your words is that you are afraid that it took you this long to heal enough to be with this man you will not find another.
You have a strength and power now that you haven’t had before. God will be your rock and your everlasting hope. Try picking up a book called “Falling in Love with Jesus” by Kathy Triccoli (you can look her up on Facebook too) Kathy talks about her own personal struggles with being single. She showed me how we can be complete in God, even without a man at our side. Once we realize that we are more complete and only then ready to share ourselves in a relationship.
God Bless!
Jodi
Dear Lynn,
Beautifully said. God did equip us to withstand all temptation (1 Corinthians 10:13)
God did give us hormones and our sexuality. It is an amazing gift. We need to look to the bible to see what the purpose He intended it for. There are countless times that God warns us of misusing our sexuality and as many times that He tell us His will.
From the very beginning God told man and woman to be fruitful and multiply (Genisis 1:28) He is also pretty clear about not wasting our seed (obviously more graphic for men)
Here is another little known fact. When a man or woman reaches orgasm their levels of Oxycotin soar. This hormone has been dubbed the “bonding hormone” It is what helps mothers bond to their children, or gives them the let down reflex to nurse them,. When a man and woman have intercourse and get this release it naturally bonds them together which is very difficult to undo.
When you give in to your desires and masturbate, what are you bonding to? God gave us sexuality to be used for His glory. He also gave us free will to abuse that gift, if we choose to.
God wants us to choose Him.
God Bless,
Jodi
Lady on September 9th I understand you.When I accepted Christ my boyfriend of 3 yrs would not speak to me as I told him our relationship would have to have some changes(no sex..lol).He was not supportive and so we eventually parted.You have had a tough life and I pray that you will stay focused on God. Get some friends who love God who will help you go through this difficult period.Let the devil know he is a liar and you will not go back to your past life.You are a Child of God and if it means you may need to leave your present boyfriend so be it.Let God guide you in the way you should go. It is time to truly LET GO AND LET GOD do what he wants to do in your life. Jer 29 verse 11 read it.
I just want to thank the Lord for his many blessings of this website. Until now I wasn’t really sure if masturbating was a sin or not. I know now and I just love what all of you had to input on this issue. I really feel like though that everyone should look at what teichieperson had to say on this matter. They really summed it up beautifully!!! God bless and love each and everyone of you!!!!
I have been tossing this thought around for a little while now. I was married to the most wonderful man and He passed away on September 23, 2009. We were utterly devoted to one another and we had an amazing sex life…together.
I had enjoyed self pleasure since I was a teenager and it did not as it was said previously….”"”This inturn makes it harder to bond to your future spouse. God made us to bond to one person, our future spouse! “”" I was so open to Stephen and we shared many glorious moments together.
Now..at age 36 I am the widowed mother of 4 children….I do not want another husband, I do not want to go out and ease this ache with some stranger…I want my husband..the One Man God made for me to completely bond with. I do believe with all my heart that Stephen was my soulmate.
So now that I am without Him..I am to deny the urges that overtake me when laying in our bed smelling His cologne on the pillow case I have yet to wash? Telling me that I am weak to want to feel that pleasure…they yes, I am weak…I love Him….The good Lord above knows my heart and hears from me somany times a day praying for strength to be strong for my kids..to keep my chin up as He was so fond of saying.
I am human…I am also a woman..I am also a Christian… am I sinning een if I am thinking of Him? Am I goign agaisnt God’s Holy words by finding a release that manifests itself in a sexual desire?
Yes, it does say in the bible to look upon and lust after is a sin, but is it still a sin to want the One You were devoted too, commited too till death you do part…which death has clearly parted us…
So tell me now…Now what do I do?
The Lord touched me when I was 34 and a “faithful” Roman Catholic. This did not stop me from masturbating and having lustful thoughts. It was only after I got married that the desire to masturbate stopped as I found the most wonderful pleasure of sex is when you share it with the one you love (your spouse). I told my wife about this part of me (the masturbation) and one day she asked me if I had desired to masturbate at any time after marrying her and I thought about it and realised I did not!
To all my brothers and sisters in Christ, I believe it is not a sin to masturbate but it is a wasted activity that gives you a moment of pleasure and maybe a load of guilt (if you believe it is a sin). If you do masturbate and feel guilty about doing it…..stop doing it and ask the Lord to help resist the desire to do it. If you can, keep this God given pleasure to share with the one you love. There are numerous verses in the Word of God that urges us to share our love with the one God has joined us to and this intimate relationship is what our Heavenly Father purposed for us as man and woman.
I believe mine started when I was young, I had such a fear of having sex or getting anything from sex I build a wall around myself and said this way I don’t have to worry about getting any sexual transmitted dieseases.
I dated when I was a teen and had sex a few times but didn’t care for it because I wanted to be married before I even started, so being young at that time I stayed to myself and away from masturbatation.
As I grew into adult I started dating again it had been 10 years I had not have sex or even masturbate, but as time when on in the relationship I finally gave into sex with my partner and I was so unhappy with it because he didn’t care about pleasing me just his self.
So I left that relationship and asked GOD to forgive me having sex before marriage and masturbation. In my opinion I felt masturbation kind of saved my life from having sex like crazy.
Finally I got married but later the marriage took a bad turn, my husband had a problem with sex with other women and I divorced him, he had 6 affairs on me and it was hurting.
Sometimes I use masturbation as a way to guard my heart from hurt because I want someone to really love me and not use me as a sex toy.
Yes sometimes I feel bad about it but I feel safe with it because I don’t have to worry about getting a sexual transmitted diseases.
I know we each have our own reason for doing it and i’m not saying i’m any better.
I know GOD have a heart and see us for who we really are and he know we love him.
Dear Shannon,
I cant say i know what it feels like to lose ur soulmate but ive “lost” someone that i loved b4. Though we never actually had sex, we came close more than once and when we broke up it was hard for me to cope with my sexual desires. I found myself masturbating whenever i thot of the times we were together, but each time i did it, it left me feelin emptier than ever and alienated from God.
I have given myself standards for testing sin. ask urself, How do u feel afterwards? Can u talk with God or do u feel far away from Him? Can u tell ur friends or family what u do? I answered no to all of these and i have my answer. Masturbation only takes from me, it gives nothing back. it leaves me empty.
I am a teen. I am a good girl. I make good grades. But, about 2-3 years ago, I started to begin to have raging hormones. I had a friend who showed me what sex was, on the internet. After that, I started to watch porn, because it made me feel something that I had never felt before. I didnt realize what I was doing at the time. My parents are big Christians, so they never discuss porn or the consequences. As I watched the porn, I would masturbate. It left me feeling dirty and gross. It lasted for about a year. I didnt tell anyone and I was not close to God in this dark time. I stopped watching porn and I fought my urges and resisted masturbation. It has been 2 years since I have watched porn and yes, it is a daily battle. But, my life is much happier without it.
I was not raised in a bad home, I just made a few bad choices.
But, in conclusion, my Savior, Jesus, forgave me for my sins. I realized that you can live without fufilling your sexual desires and I am so happy that I turned away from my sin. He forgave me and showed me the light. It was not all easy. I dont know if masturbation is a sin, but I know that I can live without it, and I can wait until marriage. Anything is possible with the help of God.
Bless you all
My Savior lives, My Savior loves
we could all talk legalism..personally,i don’t understand how legalsitic christians live happily.i grew up listening to rock music,i still listen to it.i watch horror movies and i occasionally masturbate…Jesus is concerened that we spread the good news of him and his salvation and his crucifixion and resurrection..he’s not concerened with whether you listen to led zeppelin,wath friday 13th or whether you masturbate.legalists who prefer to believe otherwise,please continue your half pleasurable christian life that you live and live it legalisically as you have been….after all..you wouldn’t want to risk missing the rapture because you’re watching a bruce willis movie..heaven forbid!!!
I’ve always believed that masturbation is an unsettled issue with me as a single male guy that’s 33 years old, but have as of recently felt a sort of conviction about it, in particularly when used with softcore porn. I have purchased a fleshlight and masturbate on that to images of porn, or inside the shower in the past. The premise of masturbation or porn is usually a hidden rebellion based on the perceived mis-treatment by women and essentially blaming them collectively that I have to resort to masturbation or viewing porn. The Bible, 1 Corinthians 7:2, was often used to show such unfairness in life. That is, if I had a gf, or a “normal life” where there were no issues connecting with women, then simply, this would not exist.
This week, I have been convicted about this on the issue and have just volunteered into music ministry at the church. I feel very strongly that if I’m a music minister, then my life has to be clean, or the annointing will not come through when I blow into that instrument.
My new position about it, right now, is that if I’m involved in a public ministry, especially a music worship ministry, then I will quit that post if I continue masturbating or looking at porn. Because, the type of masturbating (i.e. fleshlight and porn) seems too much like fornication and I’m uncomfortable with it. Also, if I’m worshipping God with a Trombone, then how can I worship God in total purity if I’m doing stuff on the side like that? How can the Spirit flow through my music and bless people if this is what I do? Then the whole thing is just vain.
God could also have a wife/woman just for me too, even if everyone else does not want me, since you only need one person to marry anyway. It’s just 1 Cor 7:2 plays with my head sometimes, because it seems to say that it’s okay to masturbate if you are not married to anyone and it’s confusing.
Again, 1 cor 7:2, appears to acknowledge on some level that people have sexual needs, and seems to understand if you fall into sexual sins if you are not married if it is proposing marriage as a solution for sexual sins.