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Masturbation and Christian Singles

masturbation

Let’s talk about the M word and Christian singles. Male masturbation. Female masturbation. Adolescent masturbation. Chronic masturbation. Is it a sin to masturbate? Are you feeling uncomfortable yet? Most churches apparently are because they avoid the masturbation topic as well as Osama bin Laden evades captivity. This is a little ironic, to say the least, when survey after survey reveals a majority of single Christians of all different ages (guys and gals) have masturbated.

As a Christian single, just what are your feelings about masturbation? Are you a masturbator? Do you struggle with your Christian Lifestyle because you feel it is morally wrong? Do you live in guilt and confusion over the whole issue?

Personally, I can’t stand it when Christian teachers are so dogmatic on the “rights” and “wrongs” of masturbatory activities because it’s such a complex issue, with many different contingencies connected to the practice. So I’ll try to leave my preaching in the pulpit as I share from my heart some observations and Scriptures to help guide you through this sensitive issue.

Masturbation Observations

  1. The Bible is silent on the issue of masturbation even though the vast majority of humankind is preoccupied with it.
  2. The Roman Catholic Church, some Protestant denominations and even Webster’s Dictionary have attempted to equate the sin of Onan (Genesis 38:6-10) with masturbation, but a simple exegesis of these passages precludes this possibility. You see, under Jewish law, a person was required to procreate with his brother’s widow. When Onan refused out of selfishness, the Lord killed him. The bottom line here? God did not whack Onan for whacking off, but rather for “spilling his seed” by ejaculating outside of his dead brother’s wife during sexual intercourse.
  3. Many Christian singles and not a few Christian pastors feel masturbation to orgasm is acceptable in order to: 1) relieve unabated sexual tension, and/or 2) to avoid sexual immorality. The catch is that there should be no lustful thoughts connected to the act.
  4. The vast majority of single Christians feel that compulsive masturbation, simply for the purpose of self gratification, is always wrong. Most would also agree that habitual masturbation while single will make it harder for any future spouse to please them sexually.

Notwithstanding the above points, let the following paraphrased verses guide you as you pray and seek the Lord over whether masturbating should have any room in your life as a single person:

  • Matthew 5:28- Looking lustily at a woman (or a man if you’re a woman) means you are commiting adultery in your heart.
  • 1 Corinthians 6:12- All things are lawful for you, but not all things are profitable.
  • 1Corinthians 6:19,20- Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, and so you should glorify God with it.
  • 1 Thessalonians 4:4,5- You should learn to control your body in a holy and honourable way, not in passionate lust like the heathens.
  • 2 Peter 2:19- You are a slave to whatever has mastered you.
  • James 4:17- If you know you should do something, but fail to do it, it’s sin.

Finally, if you are a Christian who is really beating yourself up over the issue of masturbation, or are struggling with sexual impurity, remember that Jesus offers forgiveness (1 John 1:9) you and loves you where you are. Also consider the words of James Dobson of Focus on the Family:

“It is my opinion that masturbation is not much of an issue with God. It does not cause disease. It does not produce babies, and Jesus did not mention it in the Bible. I’m not telling you to masturbate, and I hope you won’t feel the need for it. But if you do, it is my opinion that you should not struggle with guilt over it.”

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152 Comments

  1. Alex

    Very good previous discussions about this topic. It is a subject that most Christian singles have had to deal with and continue to deal with, me being one of them. To the fellow that dealt with the legalistic side of it, i commend you. And to the rest also because, IMO, all of your opinions are valuble.

    i would like point out a scriptural reference that does not name it but hints at it.
    2 Timothy 3
    1This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.
    2For men shall be lovers of their own selves.

    There are others that have been mentioned in this thread and there are also others that are hinted at in scripture. For chapter and verse references, i will leave for another time because my memory escapes me.

    Most people struggle with this from time to time and IMO Masturbation is wrong sometimes but never really right. Guilt is involved in most cases with some exceptions to the rule. If it is a sin, i do not believe it is the un-pardonable sin because who in the heck would make it to heaven if that was
    the case?

    I myself with opine later about this topic and God bless you all.

  2. Alex

    and to add to my previous post, masturbation is common and to the younger folks, put away your guilt trips and obey your heart in the matter. You are not alone in your struggles. But to say if a sin for everybody would be very presumtuous of anybody because only God knows really.

  3. Samantha

    Rediculous. I am a christian and masturbation is NOT wrong. Sometimes you have to give your undercarriage a bit of a hows your father…or in my case…mother. God gave you hands, and he gave you private parts and sexual desire….it’s not rocket science. Honestly, I think people take the sin issue too far, or perhaps you will judge me and call me secular, either way…I don’t care. Why is it mine or your right to judge people for masturbating? Why should someone feel ‘dirty’ for touching themself? Thats like trying to deny your feelings when you are happy, or sad. God made us complex, and something else we feel is horny, along with happy or sad, why deny your emotions? Its not like you are hurting anyone. It doesn’t make you a bad christian. So if you’re single, even if you’re not single and the mood strikes….I think it’s fine to masturbate!!

  4. Chris

    I’ll be 33 this month and i have never had sex in my life. I live alone dealing with seizures that doctors cant stop. Since i have this disorder im not allowed to have a job or car, so im hardly ever around people and i do not have a life what so ever.I do go to church 3 times a week. Ive never been married, but ive always wondered what it would be like to be normal like everyone else, to have a normal life, and yes sex is one of the issues. Is it a sin to wonder what its like to have sex when you know nothing about it and want to be normal like everyone else even though it might never happen ? If god told you that you would never have sex, can sex be substituted with masterbation ?

  5. Bethany

    (18, christian, female, single)
    Island Chick,

    Thank you for sharing!! I have a similar story, and am so glad to hear that I’m not alone. But I have a question, are you afraid that you’ve conditioned yourself to be pleased in a certain way from now on? That when God brings you a husband, it will no longer be ‘special’?
    I’ve been trying to stop, but I keep falling down. It’s come to a point where as soon as I feel a satisfying arousal, everything just kind of shuts down (never reaching orgasm). I feel like my sex life is forever damaged. I know that I should accept God’s forgiveness and forgive myself, but I can’t help think that I deserve it, that no guy should have me because of who I’ve become.
    I’m not sure if I should see a phycologist about this or not.

    p.s. I believe my hymen has been broken during masturbation. Does that mean I’m not a virgin anymore? (I’ve never had sex with a guy).

  6. Julie

    I’ve never had sex with a guy, but I masturbate (I’m trying to stop). I think I might have broken my hymen. Am I still a virgin?

  7. Tom

    I’m a guy (age 23). First off, I would like to talk from experience. Last February I fasted from masturbation for a month. I found that I was so full of hormones and thoughts about sex, that I had trouble living life near the end. As a matter of practicality, I think that not masturbating creates more sin over time.

    Furthermore, medical science has shown that masturbating is healthy and can reduce the risk of prostate cancer if done at least 4 times a week.

    As far as the Bible is concerned, Matthew 5:28 is talking to married men. This is very clear in context. Also, single men should not fantasize about married women. A single man fantasizing about a single woman is (by definition) not adultery.

    Porn is wrong because sex is the consummation of marriage vows. Watching people have sex and fantasizing about being with them is similar to fantasizing about a married women even if the people in the videos are not legally married. (John 4:16-18)

    Also, Job 31:1 “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl.” is often misused. Job was married! (See verses 9 & 10 “If my heart has been enticed by a woman, or if I have lurked at my neighbor’s door, then may MY WIFE grind another man’s grain, and may other men sleep with her.”) His “covenant” was to not look at other women because he was married.

    Two last thoughts:
    1.Note that in Leviticus 15:16, an “an emission of semen” makes a man unclean. Unclean is not sin (although it is used as a metaphor for sin). Unlcean = unhygienic. Remember that a woman on her period was unclean. We don’t tell them to stop their monthly cycles (LOL)!

    2. Some in the Catholic Church argue that you should only have sex to create life. They say an emission of semen for any other reason is a waste and should be avoided. By that logic, every father should tell their daughters to start having sex after their first period in order to prevent the “waste” of a potential life.

    I hope that these words remove some unnecessary guilt and help you to live the Christian life!

  8. Thanks for the thoughtful response about masturbation, even though er do not agree

  9. Leigh2011

    This is a very interesting topic that has piqued my interest. Okay, I’ve been masturbating for years, I did not feel guilty about it, when I had confessed to the lord I needed a savior and wished to be saved then I felt he did it, but I did not stop masturbating ( I still didn’t feel guilty). As the time went on I had run across this comment some where talking about how masturbating was wrong and it means your unclean, it means our father is upset and not happy with you and that you give in to the devil by masturbating. Well then I started looking around trying to see why this person would think that.

    Soon I found myself on several christians sites where they just believe it is the ultimate sin, how it is a terrible thing to do and they think god would turn his face away when you do things like this. Well I honestly think what was said caused a problem in my life, because I felt that since I was new at being saved I didn’t know any better so I began to feel uncomfortable about it, I cried and beat myself up over it when ever I did it, because their words kept coming back to my head, over and over again. This is where the problem begins, I felt that I was unworthy of our father’s love and in feeling this way I felt that I did not deserve his forgiveness for continuing to do it after what I read. I felt conflicted for a while, I did not feel at peace. Soon I began to feel as if I was distancing my self from our father I did not feel close to him over because of how I began to feel.

    Here’s the other problem, I tried to stop myself from doing it, I laid up at night crying and restless trying to figure out if what I was doing was wrong, because until I read what some christians thought about it I did not have a problem with masturbation, I felt close to god even though i did it, I felt I could go to him and ask him of things, knowing it would get done in a matter of time. I did not feel worried, but It was only until I read those things when I felt at war with myself, I felt unworthy, I didn’t want to pray because I felt this was my punishment for doing the things I did.

    For a while I felt lost, I felt like for the things I did he would not hear me, so i asked him to turn down my sexual desires, and you know what? he did it, he turned it down so well that I can actually feel the difference. I feel lighter when I went back to him and told him to just handle it because I couldn’t do it myself. Thats a big problem with people trying to handle it themselves, trying to punish themselves, but I say take it to our father and let him be the one to handle it for you. It’s alright, it doesn’t mean your a bad person for masturbating. I think that was the conclusion I had to come to, because I still masturbate, do I feel guilty now? no. I feel at peace again, personally I think all this guilt is the devil because I realized thats how he got me to stray away and distance myself from god, guilt. Guilt that I wasn’t worthy, that didn’t deserve his love, his blessings, that it was cheapening his grace by continuing to masturbate and going to ask for forgiveness only to turn around and do it again.

    My advice, don’t beat your self up over this, know that you will be forgiven because there is a reason why god sent jesus to die for our sins because he knew we couldn’t get to him by ourselves. Haven’t anyone heard it’s not by your works, but by your faith that you will be saved? To me your trying to work by trying to stop masturbating as a way to prove to god that you are worthy. When all he really wanted was for you to believe his son died on the cross and believeing he died for your sins, nothing more, nothing less. Because i’m sorry to tell you but….we’ll never be able to be sinless like his son. We are sinners. Let’s just admit that, put it all on the table, show all your cards and not beat our selves to death for our sins. Someone already did for us, let’s just be grateful he did because we would be screwwwwwwwwed if he didn’t, don’t let a sin have power over you and cause you to move away from god. I am full aware I sin, I am fully aware I may not deserve his forgiveness and I’m still praying his reduce my sexual desires, but I will not let this or anything else try to get me down again, it felt terrible

    It happend to me and I think thats whats happening to many others. Ask him for advice as well or ask him to handle it, many here are punishing themsevles for what they do, someone else has already been punished for you. Our father knew all of things we were going to go through, do you think our sins surprise him? He knew us before we were in the womb, he knows how we are now. Let’s just be glad he’s not sending balls of fire and lightening bolts down upon us to strike us down, because yes we do deserve it lol. God loves you either way, if he didn’t he wouldn’t have sent jesus to die for us.

    If you really want to stop masturbating then by all means go to father, he’ll handle it, he’ll work on you. I admit I’m still being worked on, but I just wanted to share my story and of what i thought. Do I think masturbating was wrong? I found it has kept me from doing stupid things, especially to this one guy i went to school with. I know to this day that if I had been some where alone with that guy a few months back before i asked to be saved, I’d probably be pregnant right now. I have no doubt in my mind about that, now I don’t know if it was because of porn ( which I’m still working on, I so far have been porn free for some time now) but all I know is that i was obsessed with that guy, I couldn’t understand why. i was so confused as to why i wanted to have children so bad during that time, I mean it was a terrible time. I know he wasn’t the best guy out there, he did things I do not approve of, but It’s like i was willing to ignore that all if he would just impregnante me. It was scary, it was like I was in heat. it was on my mind all the time every day, in my dreams, I was afraid of my self. I also must admit it wasn’t the first time I wanted a guy to get me pregnant, but with him it was more intense, almost extreme need. Even then i had to pray that the lord would help me and he did, he took away the maddening desire during those months, do i still think that guy looks good? yes but I recognize him for what he is: temptation, and the devil almost got me. Even to this day i know i have to stay away from this guy, because I’m sure he could still talk me into doing something I know I promised myself i wouldn’t do until marrige. Anyways i hope I don’t fall away and end up back to the way I felt before except with another guy. Pray for me on that as i will be praying for you all on this.

    Sorry for the long comment but i felt the need to share with you, I hope you all are having a nice day! =]

  10. Lorna

    I have always wondered about masturbation and christianity. I get many people asking me about it and I have no answers. Someone out there to help……

  11. Anonymous

    It makes me so sad to see so many people who are otherwise totally dedicated to God beating themselves up over the so-called sin of masturbation.

    I was raised Christian and accepted the Lord as a young child. I started masturbating even earlier, and I can promise you that there were no sexual fantasies attached to it because I didn’t even know what sex was. It was all about discovering that a certain part of my body felt good when I touched it in a certain way. So I had no guilt over it and didn’t struggle with it. However, I knew it involved my “private parts,” so I instinctively felt that there was something private about it. Not sinful, not unclean, not perverted. Private.

    When I was about 12 or 13, I heard about masturbation for the first time and realized that it was what I’d been doing. But still I didn’t know it was considered a “sin,” and I had no feelings of guilt about it. Then, finally, I started reading Christian material that informed me it was wrong to masturbate, and–voila!–I felt guilty.

    It’s clear to me now that I had to be taught to feel this guilt. There was nothing in my heart or my spirit, no still, small voice that whispered to me that I was angering God. Eventually, I realized that the guilt was artificial. It wasn’t based on anything in the Scripture. It was culturally induced guilt.

    My personal belief is that masturbation isn’t a sin. I believe those who feel guilty about it feel guilty because they’ve been taught to feel guilty, not because there’s something inherently wrong with masturbation. Think about it: If everyone you respected told you it was a sin to listen to classical music or go jogging or speak Spanish or whatever, you’d believe it. And the reason you probably feel embarrassed about “admitting” masturbation to others is because it’s private. It involves your private parts and a private kind of pleasure. Be honest with yourself. If you’d just had sex with your spouse, would you really want to broadcast that to your neighbors, or would you also feel embarrassed to share that bit of info with them? Of course you would! And that’s not because sex with your spouse is wrong. That’s because it’s private. Well, masturbation is private, too.

    God created us to feel pleasure in certain parts of our body. In terms of sharing that pleasure, we’re only supposed to do so with the one person we’ve committed to forever. But that doesn’t mean it’s wrong to enjoy those God-given feelings on our own.

    It’s interesting to me that sooooo many people do battle with this supposed sin, yet it’s never explicitly mentioned in the Bible. Sure, we’re told not to lust after another person. But plenty of people masturbate just by focusing on the feelings. Others create an imaginary person to think about, and while this is more iffy in terms of what’s right and wrong, it doesn’t seem to hurt anyone since the person isn’t real. Seriously, if God hated masturbation, don’t you think He would have given us a firm word on this subject since just about every single person engages in it?

    If you ask me, everyone should learn to separate the true voice of the Holy Spirit from false guilt instilled by others, spend some more time in the Word, and then decide if it’s really something to be ashamed of or just something you want to keep to yourself because it’s SUPPOSED to be private.

  12. Anonymous

    on the comment: (Anonymous on August 8th, 2010 6:07 am) the comment before this one…”Then, finally, I started reading Christian material that informed me it was wrong to masturbate, and–voila!–I felt guilty.”…

    haha…you got the same storyline as me, just that i heard about the word masturbation when i was 14 years old i think and started to know what it means…

    Was in school and heard from my classmates utter, talking about masturbation…and i asked one of them whats masturbation? and he said…”wow, what an innocent mind you have”….lol

  13. 29 Year Old Single Male

    My name is Jon I am 29 and single. I desire very strongly to have a wife but this has been a difficult search for me, as I seem to be alot like that sock everyone has that doesn’t quite have a match. I was given somewhat a large sex drive which I feel was given to me by God, so that I may procreate a decent/large sized family with the right woman. I am fairly inexperienced with women a few relationships here and there nothing really serious or with marriage potential, so have spent a great deal of time single.To deal with my urges and avoid invasive lustful thoughts, I do masturbate to thoughts of my future spouse and/or things unrelated to sex. I try and abstain from using porn whenever possible and at this point can take it or leave it and prefer the latter, and try and keep lustful thoughts out of my head when masturbating and can indeed manage this. Once I’ve finished, I feel a sense of relief and those invasive lustful thoughts and desires disappear I can then resume my normal activities without being bothered or distracted by them. I only feel that the act of masturbation itself is wrong/unnatural/sinful when I am told these things and think about them, if I dismiss them from my mind I don’t feel as though I am doing anything wrong. I consider myself to be “too old.” to be single but, like I said I can’t really find the right woman. Ideally I feel as though I should have found and married the right woman by now and this would be a non issue if I had.

  14. James

    I am a single male, age 31. Out of a devout interest and steadfastness to keep myself sexually pure for the woman God has predestined specifically for me, I have refused multiple opportunities to engage in sexual activity.. including a National beauty pageant winner as well as the eye candy actress in a mainstream movie. I am completely confident that holding out for the lasting affection and satisfaction that my future spouse will provide me with is definitely justifies the long-term gratification approach… which will also introduce a marriage partnership that transcends any superficial pre-marriage sexual encounter. Although to be honest, sustaining self-control and managing a high sex-drive is a ongoing and seemingly insurmountable challenge in the natural. Masturbation is one way to maintain balance for me towards these urges. I thank god for sex-drive as it is a natural motivator for me to propel me towards my wife that I look forward to making passionate and fulfilling love to one day. when The first time I discovered masturbation, I was alone in a jacuzzi tub… I discovered that it felt pleasurable when I place my “private part” in the direction of one of the jets. This of course brought me to the point of ejaculation. That was 6th grade.. I have been experimenting with masturbation and the associated guilt ever since that moment. For what it’s worth, my experience has revealed this to me;

    I feel GUILTY if:
    When masturbating, I create arousal by imagining sexual interaction with a married person or imagine an encounter with a person outside of God’s plan for my life… such as an encounter that is selfishly motivated to produce sexual satisfaction at the other person’s expense or at the cost of a moral compromising situation. To be more specific, a fictitious or imagined circumstance that God could not honor.

    I feel SATISFIED and PURE if:
    When masturbating, I envision an encounter with the person that I feel God has ordained for me in the future.. and I implement the characteristics (mental and physical) the are a result of the desires that God has place inside of me (Prov 11: “the desire of the righteous is only good” ..Prov 10: “the desire of the righteous is only good” .. so you see, God leads us by desires if we live a lifestyle and allow our choices to be governed by God to maintain discernment).. Anyway, if limit my fantasies and God given imagination to pure physical attributes that I find attractive in a mate.. and if this is a realistic portrayal of who I believe God has predestined for me…. then I have full confidence before the Lord that I am not compromising or entering into sin when masturbating… the end result is that I feel good and have not abused a physical outlet that God has inherently provided us with when he created us.. hands and private parts, lol.

    On a related topic, I have been told that I am a good-looking guy.. If I was to be transparent, I would tell you that I share the frustration that many of you are experiencing of not yet finding a mate and seemingly passing my prime. My greatest desire at this stage of my life.. is to harness this sexual energy and show affection to my future wife in an intense and frequent basis. My prayer is that this scenario materializes sooner than later but I also understand that this just fuels my ambition to become that man that qualifies as the mate the the person I will someday meet… and that prospect gives me continued patience!

    I would love to hear your feedback on the above comments I have provided!!

    James

  15. I, too, struggle with this issue. It’s particularly embarassing for me. I’m a young man, and have found it impossible to completely stop since I first started, eleven years ago. The longest I’ve gone without this particular act is six months; and, by that time, I was having embarassing dreams, which excited me so much that I had to fight to control the consequences. It gets to the point where I don’t have to stimulate myself manually; if I happen to see certain pictures, I… well, we all know what happens. I try to stay away from these pictures, as much as I can. I know that the activities portrayed therein are senseless, and hedonistic. Still, I can’t seem to remain strong enough to resist permanently. In fact, I gave in to temptation just before I came to this article. It’s a shameful thing to me, and I’m struggling with it every month… almost like clock-work. I need prayer, and pray for God to forgive me, in Jesus’ name. Please, withhold my e-mail address. I have posted my name as “Withheld”.

  16. Emily

    So I have also struggled with this issue for years.I talked to my mom once who is also a Christian and she said it is normal.Now though I seem to be doing it all the time and I can’t seem to stop.I pray about it.But it doesn’t go away.
    I’m also very invovled with my church and prayer group and I do sincerly feel God’s presence and He speaks to me so much.So I do not understand still if He thinks that this is bad and why He is still blessing me with His prescence and other things.
    Also, this is hard for me to say, but I really really struggle with looking at people getting spanked on the internet.This sounds so weird and perverted, I know.I don’t know how it started, but I seem to like being spanked and I want it to stop.I feel like it’s creating so many issures with me. No one knows.I don’t know if I should tell someone close to me about this and seek their advice or not.It’s soooooo embarassing.I do not know either if looking at bare bottoms would be considered porn.I just feel like such a sick person.I don’t know what to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  17. A human

    to the above person (Emily) or others who…

    DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO?

    DONT GIVE UP.

    every time you or someone else falls, get back up or help them back up. Dont give up or quit. God knows everytime you commit to Him again.

    –In my weakness God is STRONG.—

  18. David

    First, try not thinking of anything while you masturbate. Take a deep breath and do it and don’t look down too much keep it sort of meditative. Keep practicing it and think about what you want in a partner. Write it down one day when are lonely/and or you feel you know the kind of person you want inside and out. Keep the qualities in mind and produce a Love fantasy that will make you happy while you masturbate and after and you won’t feel any Evil come from it. Who knows, that person you desire may come soon. Not Kidding-it’s good advice. PORN is dirty and evil REAL LOVING SEX MAKES YOU HAPPY , AND FEEL WHOLE AND PURE

  19. Denis

    Nice to read all the stories, I am a 24 year old male. I have been addicted to pornography since I was 15, and masturbation followed. I was raised in a catholic family and my parents never really talked to me about it, but I am sure my dad knew I was doing it. As I got older I completely lost faith in god and I was masturbating on a daily basis. Its like a drug addiction you cant break free from it controls you. But looking at it now as I got hooked more and more, the pornography got worse and worse and it was like a drug, to get the same High you must experience new content, I know the road I was taking was leading me to nowhere. So a few months ago I almost died I overdosed on energy drinks and prework out supplement and I almost went into cardiac arrest as I had only 30% oxygen left inside of me, as I was in that hospital my heart beating 200 times a minute I ran to god for help in a long time. Its been 3 months now and I am fighting this war I have read the scripture many times over and I have relapsed a couple of times but I have not looked at any porn in weeks and I am still masturbating but now the span seems to get longer, it was daily, now its like once weekly when I cant take it no more or I am going to do something stupid, then I give in.
    Everyone suffers from this especially men, its something that all of us keep inside.

  20. Matt

    I just realized there are many folks posting the same things. Please contact these places I listed above. They have tremendous insight on addictions to porn, sex (fornication, adultry and masterbation). Sex out of married love is what God created for us and when we are in these places we shouldn’t be the demonic is seducing and driving us there. We have to make the choice we will recieve true love from God alone, from what he says in the scripture. If we don’t feel loved by him or others we must go to scripture and reaffirm what God has said about us, because if others are treating us poorly and unlovely it is driven by satans kingdom. If we have been treated poorly and not loved properly satan will use that and push spirits of self hatred, self rejection, guilt (i did something wrong), shame (i am wrong) to beat us up. Here is how it works…we “feel” unloved, and have a broken heart and or a spirit of a broken heart. We get low and know sex (or our addiction) feels good. It releases dopamine (which is supposed to be released with our marriage partner if we have one). So out of a need to be loved, and a seducing spirit we do our thing…porn, masturbation…and we have a temporary feel good for a time as the dopamine is released in our system….shortly it is dpleted and then a spirit of guilt, self rejection comes along with condemenation and lies to us and says now don’t you feel filthy or dirty, or what a horrible nasty thing you did. Self hatred is a spirit that says I know I can do better and not do it next time when we can’t without God’s help. Fantasy lust is a spirit which gets access when a person fantasizes about a person or even a faceless body, alone or during masturbation. I could go on and on…my hope is to help you dear saints. The Bible says in a couple of places, my people perish, or die for lack of knowledge.

    The solution 1st is to get proper teaching on this, and learn what your enemy looks, and sounds like.

    If you pray specifically and tell God you are not in aggreement with the sins and the spirits that intice people to do them, and ask for help, God will help you, if you really want out. This is not a silver bullet, but a lifestyle change. Working with the Holy Spirit to get you free and in closer relationship with your Father God who loves you.

    When you think of these things repent specifically of the sin and that is usually the name of the spirit you are dealing with. Then simply say it’s name, spirit of pornography, or addictions to masturbation, or seduction, or all of those, leave me and go to the dry place in Jesus name. They will mess with you for a while but stay in the Word and if you mess up, forgive yourself, it is ok to not be okay, as long as you are working out of it.

    Always listen for a gentle touch from the Holy Spirit. satan will be a cruel taskmaster wanting you to repent of everything and beating you up. Listen for God, when he has you repent he will have the power of the Holy Spirit availible to help you get free.

    Sins/spirits to consider: occultism, need for love, approval and acceptance (ungodly type and it is the name of a spirit), self pity, victimization, hopelessness and despair, ungodly grief and sorrow, spirit of a broken heart, masturbation, fornication, adultry, incest, molestation, rape, unclean spirit, guilt, shame, condemnation, self rejection and abandonment, self hatred, self accusation, fear of failure. Add anything God shows you. Remember the Bible says you have authority to tread on serpents and scorpions (devils and demons) and over all the power of teh enemy and nothing will by any means harm you…repent, renounce, and confess, and ask God to forgive you and throw them out…read the Bible and study. Talk to God and tell him specifically what you are dealing with. There is nothing hidden and he knows our status…It isn’t like he has not seen it.

    Spirit of addictions falls under occultism. Surprised? Occultism is not just tarot cards and ouji boards, It is going to the lesser satan/sin, rather than the greater God, to get a need met. So out of a need to be lovedd properly, we unknowingly go to the lesser for a temporary fix, and then the lesser beats us up with guilt, candemnation etc…sound familiar. There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the spirit. If you have a heart to do right and are willing, even if you mess up you are not condemned, satan is lying to you. Three steps forward and two steps back is still forward motion and if you fall get up your Father loves you. Forgive yourself quickly. The Bible is present progressive. You are a work in progress and God knows and the Bible is to be read that way. If you look at it as black and white and say I am so filthy I did this, if God operated that way you would be stoned at sundown. You are not and by the nature of you writing and reaching out many of you have a heart for God and he is willing, but you have to follow his plan…because a dry drunk is still a drunk. I mean if you quit by shear will power the sin is still in your heart. The deliverance and turning from the sin and asking God for help during the moment of truth, when you get excited and need to look for love in the wrong place (which is really lust) go to God and say I am over my head and about to do this. I have been in aggreement with satans kingdom and I am weak. Help me! He will show up. Sometimes you will overcome and sometimes you will fail. But keep going and listening to the teachings I named and going through the deliverance. Call them both, the numbers are on the sites I gave. Ask for help. John Aldridge is in the Dallas Ft Worth area. Henry Wright is 70 miles south of Atlanta.

    Hope this helps, I will check back for questions. Please check into those teachings and sites….this is the type of Gospel your read about in the book of Acts…I challenge you to let God help you and ask him for skilful and Godly wisdom, understanding and discernemnt about what I wrote you. It usually will be a process so be patient and give yourself a supersized break.

    Matt

  21. Matt

    I read some more posts…

    Masturbation is a form of fornication wich is as sex outside of marriage. Very simply figure what what and why God created the organs. For married people to use within marriage for enjoyment and to have children. Check Song of Solomon on the enjoyment part.

    Incubus and Secubee are sexual spirits that attack people during sleep, depending on the sin they are in…look them up with Google.

    If you are single and look upon another single person with lust in your heart, it is not adultry, but fornication, and lust and fantasy lust.

    If you are married and look upon another married or not lusting in your heart it is adultry. If you are single and look upon a married person with lust in your heart it is adultry.

    If you masturbate while married looking upon pornography it is adultry.

    If you masturbate while single looking upon pornography it is fornication.

    Okay things that are in the the heart and not acted upon are still sins. The heart must be dealt with. Remember when Jesus told the pharisees they were white washed tombs. It was because the outwardly attempted to do and act holy, and never dealt with the sins in their heart which I discussed briefly in the other two posts earlier.

    Fantasizing about anyone is sin, sex must come out of a real love first relationship where you are married and the sex is a by product of the love for one another. If anyone becomes a taker then love is not operating. Further the wife and teh husband are to give each other due benevolence. Which means our love must come from God alone individually and we give it to each other without expectation. Then there are are no expectations in which we grow bitter…the sex addiction can go into marriage and if one is a taker or both have a sexual addiction that is a form of defilement in the marriage bed.

    Something most do not know about virginity is when both are virgins and they are married at the act of consumation, blood is released from the hymin as it is broken. This is a now a marriage with a blood covenant. Mercy, grace, and love, if you are not a virgin and looking to get married don’t be condemned, God knows we live in a fallen world and He will forgive us, and though we may not get the deal from virginity he will restore things. Gods intention was two virgins, man and women marry and form a blood covenant by the consumation under Him, and the very first dopamine release occurs and when it does the two were with each other and had that wonderful feeling together and they connect in it and it creates a bond that would normally empower them to always be faithful to each other. Unless of course one or both of them carried a generational spirit of adultry and lust. I have one set of grandparents that were the exception and lived that.

    Hope this helps and will hang out on this site for a few days…

    Matt

  22. Ann Onimous

    The practice of masturbation will lead to a habit and a stronghold that will not easily be broken. The guilt will eat away at your soul and will hold you back in your relationship with the Lord.

    I know of what I speak. I’m an older single Christian female who has struggled with it since adolescence. It’s easy to deceive yourself into thinking M. is not a sin, that you aren’t hurting anybody or even that you deserve a little self-gratification. After all, if the Lord isn’t providing a spouse…. Then if you break free of the deception and acknowledge your need to repent, you have a life-long battle ahead of you.

    “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. ” – Gal. 6:7-8

  23. Nate

    I too struggled with masturbation and pornography and I know well the physical urges that drive toward them. But, I hope what I’m about to share will help you in your resistance to such temptations, because I’ve come learn the consequence they bring.

    Like most Christians, I prayed for a long time that a godly woman would appear in my life as I felt a deep sense of loneliness. Believing that no one was watching me, I started to experiment with masturbation, which led to pornography. They seemed like drugs that gave temporary satisfaction. However, as time dragged on, I became desensitized to sexuality. My views of women started to change and my desires for sexual activities only grew stronger. The sinful nature of porn became less and less obvious in my mind, and my resistance to it became weaker and weaker. Then, I met a godly woman, who was smart, beautiful, and funny. We had great chemistry, and she wanted to keep her physical purity. Things were going great for a while. But, my mentality was changed so much by pornography that I started to demand things in the relationship that I would not ever have. Out of lust, I pressured her and said things to her that greatly hurt her feelings. Soon enough, I lost her at a time when I began to fall in love with her. It was sudden and devastating to me. But God used our break-up to show me my sins and the consequences that they bring. Brothers and sisters, make no mistake, you reap what sow. Sin spreads like a yeast in the most subtle ways, starting from what seems like harmless fun. For those who are serious about faith and desire a Christian mate who is faithful to God, please know that masturbation and pornography will change your perspective towards relationships, sexual purity, and intimacy in ways you will not expect. It is for your own good to avoid them, and I say this because I don’t wish anyone to experience the regret and grief that sadden my heart. I leave you with Ephesians 5, not out of judgement but out of love, and I hope this post will help you not to make some mistakes I’ve made.

  24. Dean

    Sex. It’s what the world desires and craves and longs to experience. I don’t need to preach. Everyone here has heard all the scriptures, heard all the opinions etc.. My answer won’t matter here, as everyone has contrasting opinions and people will fight strongly over it. I just want to share what i feel God has shown me. I’m a very legalistic person. Not always a good thing. I battle with the smallest details regarding sin. But God LOVES us- he does desire for us to be happy. I have read many a comment that has irritated me, and many a comment that i’ve thought, wow, that’s a bit bold. We can argue about pleasure, glory, guilt, feelings, emotions, connections etc. And many present good cases. My point is not give you an answer, my point is basically to those who argue to the extent that they’ve lost this. Love. The most important commandment. And i believe it ties in with everything in the law, including masturbation. Why does God give us the law? Is it for God? Or is it for us? Does our following the law benefit God? Or does it benefit us? Do not murder, do not steal, do not bear false witness etc. Aren’t these all for our own good? Keeping them benefits us spiritually and in this life right now. And they’re summed up in love. God gave us the law not to benefit him, to benefit US, because he LOVES US. And we keep the law by loving God, others. And yes, ourselves. The answer to masturbation is in love. Not in guilt, feelings, emotions, physical reactions… Is masturbation a gift from God to show love to those destined to be single? How sad would it be to miss that? Ask yourself, ask God- why would God oppose masturbation? Seriously think about it. I can tell you why he opposes murder, idolatory, stealing, fornication etc- and most of the reasons are for your benefit. God does not give a law just for the hell of it. It’s not a “try obey this one” kind of game. It’s about living life to the full and being set apart. That’s the law. Feelings are often deceptive. The other side is this. We are told to run from temptation. Does masturbation tempt you in a uncontrollable way? Can you do it without lustful thoughts, and yes, of course it is possible. Erections can be spontaneous and masturbation can be done focused on pure excitement- but can you do it? Does it lead you to thoughts that pollute your heart and mess your brain and hurt your future spouse? Is masturbation taking away your love for God by becoming your master, or is it strengthening it by being viewed as a gift. It is certainly not the hand touching the genitals that is wrong. Because then bathing, showering, scratching, massaging would all be sin. It’s a matter of the heart. And love. How does masturbation effect your heart? Then bring that to God. Then decide. People will differ, just like tatoos and eating meat etc. You decide whether masturbation grows you or stops you, and even then bring it to God. Judge it by the fruit it bears. The fruit you bear because of it. We are not called to judge or convince people who eat or don’t eat meat etc. Why are we doin the same with masturbation? Love matters. Sex matters. Your heart matters. Masturbation matters. YOU matter God matters. Can we get back to love and the heart of God? What was God’s heart when he created the genitals, the hands, sexual desire and expression? Was it legalism? Or a love for you? A gift? The trick is to figure out when this gift is being abused and when it is being cherished and used. I know this answer is irritating. But just remember, God is not just stuck in the super spiritual world, he was here too. And at that time, freedom, discipline, joy, happiness, gifts, law all mattered to God. And it still does. There is an answer. It just MIGHT be different for everyone.. Just like not everyone is called to live in poverty or become a martyr.. Food for thought. I don’t know it all. I’m also just learning

  25. Chris

    I’m 19 year old male currently taking an online school. The struggle of not looking at porn to masturbate or any sexual stuff online is hard enough since I’m in my room on the computer a lot.
    But what works best for me is taking one day at a time, even if you have to pray every five minutes to God not be tempted and think lustfully, do it. Fighting sin is not easy but if you give yourself to God he can make what you think is impossible possible.
    I know thinking lustfully and looking at porn is a sin, but I still don’t know wether masturbation is a sin. I’m just praying every time I’m tempted God will speak to me and give me the strength to get through it.

  26. the bible says in 2 timothy 3:22 flee the evil desires of your youth.

    I also struggled with the issue but i came to a point of getting real and naked before God to be completely delivered from the act.It took me studying more of the word and total dependence on the holy spirit for help.And believe me its a process, i call it dying daily, as i crucify my flesh and its desires.I relapsed alot still do but i get up crawl before my Father who knows the shame that comees along with it and restores me.
    To those who donot think its a sin please hear this, the Bible is true, meditate on the relevant scriptures and ask the Holy Spirit to unravel the truth of the sriptures.
    Ephesians 5 talks about the fruits of the flesh which are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity( which includes masturbation, lust) fornication and the rest .It further went on to talk about the fruits of the Spirit(gentleness, self control, etc) which we should crave or desire.

    1John 1;9 talks about the faithfullnes nad willingness of God to forgive our sins.) There is grace and mercy in God, He longs to restore us and reconcile us to Himself( tHE BOOK OF jOEL).

    To those who have given up and condemn yourself, God would never give up on you, and the Bible says if your heart condemns you ( forinstance when u dont feel forgiven or keep on falling over and over) God is bigger than your heart.Thruogh the grace of God you can and will make it provided u cooperate with the Holy Spirit.

    Desire to be pure , pursure it,crave the spiritual food for with it its enlightenment, restoration peace , purity and ….u can me it.
    ABOVE ALL ELSE GUARD YOUR HEART FOR OUT OF IT COMES THE ISSUES OF LIFE/ FOR IT IS THE WELLSPRING OF YOUR LIFE.AND ABOVE STAND BUCKELED WITH THE AMOUR OF GOD AND THE BREASTPLATE OF RIGHTEUOSNESS.MATCH ON SOLDIERS!

  27. Struggling

    I’m an 18 year old woman who struggles with masturbation…
    I’ve never told anyone, even typing this is difficult for me, but I need support.
    I love God with all my heart and have been struggling with this guilt for 5 years. It frustrates me so much. I can go for a long time without committing this sin, but then I crash one day and feel horrible.
    I feel desperate. I long for a husband, I long for a pure sexual relationship. I’ve never had any sexual relations with anyone… only myself. I feel disgusting by saying that. I feel mad at myself.
    I hate being human. I want to honor God and live for Him. He has my everything, I’ve been baptized, my life is in His hands. So why do I still struggle??? It’s maddening.

    God, forgive me.

  28. bob

    you do more harm by trying not to masturbate…

    get over it…

    get it out of your system…dont beat yourself up…….just beat it!

    its actually a healthy thing to do…..you want to load it up with false guilt and angst……you are heading for a breakdown….

    its just wanking…get over it.

  29. Chuck Bee

    The posting on February 14th, 2011 at 3:56 pm says it all. After reading most of the other posts I just couldn’t find the right answer to my situation. I have struggled with this subject ever sine my wife of 40 years decided that she did not want sex in our lives anymore. Being an elderly Christian man I decided that going out and finding sex elsewhere just wasn’t the thing to do so I turned to masturbation. After masturbating I always felt guilty like I was cheating on my wife. Now after reading this post, doing some real soul searching, and praying about the subject, I feel my quilt is gone and God understands that what I am doing is okay. Thank you to God and the poster for helping me with my problem.

  30. alex

    well this is hard to write but i do not know when i first masturbated because i was abused as i kid by quite a few different people both men and women my early memory is two so i guess it was then. masturbation has always been an addiction and i find it hard an hopeless to stop i have gone mouths without it but gone cross eyed in the process i used to get a hard own just looking at a woman without any bad thoughts .i have try ed counseling ,cold showers but in all it didn’t work . to those people who think that just getting married will solve the problem your wrong .i was and i still would masturbate when i needed to .i am a single parent now with a three year old so hope of dating is gone .i masturbate because one i don’t wont my kid to see me with a hard on .and i don’t wont other people seeing me with one when i am walking down the street ……..its hard but what else can i do cut it off because it is causing me to sin …..please pray 4 me pray that i will find that someone and 4 me and my kid ………or god will stop me getting a hard on lol…..life is hard Jesus didn’t say that it would be ezy and i also think that one answer might be for everyone because we all have different life’s and different situations

  31. John

    Im not sure if this has been mentioned yet or not. But there are God-given herbs out there that can be taken to balance out the hormones when one is feeling exrtremely aroused sexually. Licorice Root being one of my favorites, works everytime for me. A chinese herb Dong Qaui is another.

    Just search online for anaphrodisac/antiaphrodisiac herbs.

  32. Marshall

    As far as you saying that you can’t control masterbating, let me offer this…

    It says in Matthew 19:26 “Believe, for with God, all things are possible.”

    It says in the Bible that if we commit adultery in our heart, we have done it. We are accountable for our thoughts. So, in my opinion, masterbation is sinning.

    There is a book out there called “Every Man’s Battle”. I would recommend you read it when you can. I know for me, I really watch what I allow myself to read, listen to, and watch. Like they say, garbage in, garbage out, and as Christians, we are to be the salt and the light of the world. Living IN the world, but not OF it.

    For all of us waiting for God to bring that special someone into our life, I believe holding ourselves accountable with not masturbating is very important. If we can’t control our thought life while we are single, how can we expect God to bring His one for us into our lives.

    God Bless

  33. dick

    Masturbation, not mentioned in the bible…this is so confusing. most times i wonder why God decides to be dormant about such an issue that is eating almost every christian youth up. well, after masturbation guilt struck, this is the reason why we must avoid it as christians

  34. Brian Organ

    I am 45 years old and come from a broken home and my parents divorced when i was 10. When i was a teenager my dad would have dirty magazines that i would find. I think i have masterbated too much since i was a teenager, and with all the sex that telivision and movies glorify on T.V. no wonder teenagers (both boys and girls) have these issues. and today the comercials that don’t just advertise underwear but shows attractive men and woman running around in there skivies. Telivision has changed over the years. and you young parents can control what your child watches on tv but must start controling as soon as your child is old enough to watch tv. some familys don’t have telivision, they do, but not with cable or satelite because of all the sin that is seen. (Good For Them) Most of us as trying to be a good Christian Know what perversion is. I do believe that masterbation (God allows us to pleasure ourselves) is a gift from god. I do believe you can do it too mutch. Not the masterbation itself a sin, but it is the perverted thoughts you have while masterbating. Not even a full year ago i started praying to god to fill me with the holly spirit before i would self pleasure myself to take away perverted thoughts from my mind. it did not work right away because satan is always atacking us, but after a while it did work for me. there are more than 30,000 scriptures in the bible, many verses saying its a sin or you will not make it to the kingdom of heaven if you live the wrong life style. do i still strugle with perversion and sin? yes i do, but will not give up on god and i am determined not to let satan beat me up. I feel it is better to masterbate than to phisicaly have sex with someone before marriage which god says is a sin. I am also doing research to see if small groups of christian men and woman can pray to god and ask that no perverted thoughts enter their minds before masterbating together. (masterbation fellowship) You ask why? I like to think that kind of friendship somone might give advice on a better way to pleasure yourself. How can it be wrong if no sex involved and we only touching ourselves and there is no perverted thoughts and every body prays before they get started? Where in the Bible it says masterbation alone is a sin or you will not go to heaven because of it? as for myself, I do this twice a day sometimes. thought it would be better not to do this by myself (whitch is every day) and only do it in small groups of Christian friends. Once or twice a week or so is better than every day, And with constant prayer i would feel better about myself and have more energy. Any thoughts or comments or advice from my Christian Brothers and sisters please let me know at (briankeithsspiritworld@yahoo.com God bless

  35. aguaysed

    In my opinion, masturbation is OK. However, not in EVERY circumstance. I’ll explain. God wants us to save our virvinity for that special someone with whom we want to spend the rest of our lives. Still, it is a constant struggle, and every Christian person will agree with me, staying pure. This is because we are HUMAN and have HUMAN NEEDS. Anatomically speaking, masturbation is a necessity. Just like you when eat when feeling hungry, you respond to your sexual urges when they arise. AND THAT’S OK, as long as you DON’T have perverse thoughts while doing it. Now this, you must be thinking, is the hard part… and it is! Personally, it is hard for me to do it without thinking of my boyfriend, but I HAVE done it without doing so. Just try to think of it as a physical necessity, rather than something forbidden by God. God gave us this body, and He wants us to keep it as “neat and tidy” as possible for marriage. However, you would agree with me in that no matter how hard you try to abstent from masturbating, sexual impulses will arise very often. This is how our body works. This is supposed to happen, because this is how God created us. The problem is that there is a very thin line between what is sexual immorality and what is not. I believe that as long as you do it just for the sake of satisfying that physical need which WILL NOT LEAVE (no matter how hard you try of keeping it away from your mind), God will not be angry at us. But, if you watch pornography while doing it, have someone else to do it for you or have “nasty” thoughts when doing it, you ARE commiting sexual immorality. “What difference can it make? Masturbation is masturbation.” you might be asking yourself. Oh, a big one. Having mutual masturbation with a partner is sin, in my opinion, because you two are OBVIOUSLY engaging in sex-like actions and sex-like THOUGHTS. Therefore, you are doing it out of lust, not necessity. In porn’s case, it is simple seeing why it is a sin. First of all, the act of making porn is morally wrong. Two, three and sometimes even more people fornicating on camera for money and/or pure fun? I mean come on. Also, watching it is TOO morally wrong. Why? You are supporting it by watching it! If you think it is wrong (the porn industry), then why would you give in to porn and, worse, masturbate to it?
    Again, my friends, there is a fine line between what is right and what is wrong. I do not believe God thinks of us as sinners for masturbating. Doing it in excess and doing it in the circumstances explained above, is what could be considered sin. Let me provide another example to prove my point. Eating is a necessity. Eating in excess is gluttony, and gluttony is a sin (Phillippians 3:19). The same goes for masturbation. You cannot and will not EVER be able to control your bodily needs. HOW you respond to those needs is the essential question, and only YOU have the answer to it.
    P.S. Praying can help a lot when struggling with this. In my case, I pray to God for clean thoughts. Also, when being in “that” situation and I’m having unpure thoughts, I try to think of God, and I swear that it’s an instant turn off because I imagine him going “tsk tsk”. Just some advice. Good luck!

  36. Frank Castle

    God gave us guilt to know when we’ve done something that conflicts with His commands and so we can correct ourselves.

  37. Sam

    Here’s my problem – I have been struggling with this problem for years and simply, I don’t want it anymore. I have bought porn, went to websites, paid and saw girls perform live acts online. It deeply disturb me and I have had enough. I don’t want it anymore! It’s killing me! There were days when I should have brought food for myself and stuff I needed for my life. What did I do? I bought porn! I hate myself and I beg God for his forgiveness,

    I have kissed a girl, however, I have never dated a woman. I wait for my future wife that God has promised me. He has promised me many things and I know they are definite. However, this promise for a girlfriend-to-wife was made when I was in the eighth grade. That has been over a decade. The wait is killing my soul. All I wanted was happiness from God in the form of a woman ever since I was a boy. Today, I am still that boy begging God for his one and only. God loves me and I love him so much, I just need him to come through for me before it’s too late,

  38. im a bit dissapointed with this site. Coz maturbation opens doors to, incest, pornography, bastuality. The devil is cunning.

  39. And to those who say theres nothing wrong. I bet you feel ashamed knowing, that your spouse doesnt please you anymore coz you masturbate. You feel ashamed that you dont have a man. You feel ashamed that the causes could be from the pain of lonliness and rejection you faced as a child.
    I could go on and on, but masturbation evokes shame and low self esteem even subconsciously. Dont act like you dont know.

  40. Joseline

    Noone can understand masturbation until you have been there, tried to stop and not able. It is more like alcohol addition but there is no rehab for it nor support groups. I dont know and this is hard to write but when I knew myself I was masturbating therefore I must have began at childhood. Before I got born again, it was nor problem, there was no guilt and I just went on and on.But now for over ten years, I have struggled to stop but with the guilt and feeling that like Paul I want to beat your body to subject to the will of God, and with prayer, I have not succeeded. It is even worse as a single parent since I have been in a relationship and there is a loneliness in my life what comes up late in the night.

    You cannot condemn someone who is struggling to quit a life long habit. Pray that the mercies of God will be new every morning upon all those struggling with it. I wish there was a way out but I know better

  41. Natalie Williams

    P.S. ABSTINENCE IS AVAILABLE & ABLE TO STAND BUT ONLY W/ & THRU HIM….I know I am living proof of that FOR YRS. My friends & others did not believe I could do it, But you know what I DIDN’T GOD, His HOLY Spirit HELPED ME! Thru HIM YOU ARE & CAN BE ABLE! I am still walking w/ Him thru it! Engaged for a yr. now, & have not stumbled. So KNOW that EVERYTHING IS possible W/ HIM!

  42. P.D.

    When I was 16, I was an impressionable, credulous teenager who was lonely. I was taken in by a Church near to my home who introduced me to the Bible and to Jesus. They taught me the doctrine of hell, and the idea that if I became born again, I would be saved from it. A sign that I was reborn, I was told, was that I would no longer feel the need to masturbate.
    By now, my hormones were raging. I would pray, in my terror of hell, that Jesus would deliver me from masturbation, but the urges persisted with a vengeance. I attempted to suppress those urges with pain by mutilating my arms with a razor blade, but it was futile. I lost sleep at night thinking that if the urges were still there, that meant I wasn’t ‘born again’ and so I was bound for hell. I wanted to commit suicide but was afraid of doing so for fear of going straight to a place of eternal torture. I petitioned God to reach back in time and prevent me from ever being conceived so that I would never have existed in the first place.
    Ultimately, I suffered a nervous breakdown at the age of 17.
    When are you going to stop doing this to yourselves and others? Masturbation is a response to involuntary hormonal activity and carries with it so many health benefits. I no longer believe that this god even exists, but clearly you do. I have studied the Bible in depth, and discovered a truly horrific deity – one who sanctions slavery, torture, infanticide, genocide, rape, animal cruelty and torturing people eternally simply for daring to disagree with him. And yet you say he is a god of UNCONDITIONAL love? Ask yourselves, even if you are merely trying to avoid ‘hell,’ – why would you want to spend eternity with this cruel entity?

    On the issue of Matthew 5:28, (I feel you have a right to at least know this, because your pastors certainly won’t tell you!) this passage is often quoted as the endorsement of criminalizing sexual thoughts, but in its historical context, it is actually a re-iteration of the tenth commandment (Exodus 20:17) – do not covet your neighbour’s property (his wife – included among land, oxen, maid-servant, slave and any other chattel.) The word ‘lustfully’ as it appears in Matthew 5:28 is actually a fraudulent mistranslation found in more recent editions of the Bible. The passage is actually referring to ancient Jewish proprietary rights and the objectification of women and has no relevance to twenty-first century teenagers masturbating to pornography. In our civilization, we no longer view women as property, just as we don’t accept slavery as moral (as Jesus apparently did: Colossians 3:22.)

    I implore you all – leave the Bronze Age behind and find the power of reason.

  43. Jocelyn

    PD, I’ll be praying for you. God is a God of unconditional love who gives us free will to love Him and others. If He forced you to love Him, it’s not real love. You obviously don’t understand the Gospel or even the context of the verses you posted.

  44. Unknown

    I still currently have trouble with this problem, but for all of you who are reading this… follow the will of God, and all things will go right as stated in Dueteronomy 6:18 “Do what the Lord says is good and right, and things shall go well with you”
    REMEMBER this verse, were all humans, we have sexually temptations, but do your best to avoid such thoughts and wait for the partner God has set for you! :) God loves you, and forgives such things, but dont keep doing them!! Ask God to make a new life for you and follow him with a new fresh start!
    :)

  45. P.D.

    Thank you for inviting me to speak my mind.
    When I was 16, I was an impressionable, credulous teenager who was lonely. I was taken in by a Church near to my home who introduced me to the Bible and to Jesus. They taught me the doctrine of hell, and the idea that if I became born again, I would be saved from it. A sign that I was reborn, I was told, was that I would no longer feel the need to masturbate.
    By now, my hormones were raging. I would pray, in my terror of hell, that Jesus would deliver me from masturbation, but the urges persisted with a vengeance. I attempted to suppress those urges with pain by mutilating my arms with a razor blade, but it was futile. I lost sleep at night thinking that if the urges were still there, that meant I wasn’t ‘born again’ and so I was bound for hell. I wanted to commit suicide but was afraid of doing so for fear of going straight to a place of eternal torture. I petitioned God to reach back in time and prevent me from ever being conceived so that I would never have existed in the first place.
    Ultimately, I suffered a nervous breakdown at the age of 17.
    When are you going to stop doing this to yourselves and others? Masturbation is a response to involuntary hormonal activity and carries with it so many health benefits. I no longer believe that this god even exists, but clearly you do. I have studied the Bible in depth, and discovered a truly horrific deity – one who sanctions slavery, torture, infanticide, genocide, rape, animal cruelty and torturing people eternally simply for daring to disagree with him. And yet you say he is a god of UNCONDITIONAL love? Ask yourselves, even if you are merely trying to avoid ‘hell,’ – why would you want to spend eternity with this cruel entity?

    On the issue of Matthew 5:28, (I feel you have a right to at least know this, because your pastors certainly won’t tell you!) this passage is often quoted as the endorsement of criminalizing sexual thoughts, but in its historical context, it is actually a re-iteration of the tenth commandment (Exodus 20:17) – do not covet your neighbour’s property (his wife – included among land, oxen, maid-servant, slave and any other chattel.) The word ‘lustfully’ as it appears in Matthew 5:28 is actually a fraudulent mistranslation found in more recent editions of the Bible. The passage is actually referring to ancient Jewish proprietary rights and the objectification of women and has no relevance to twenty-first century teenagers masturbating to pornography. In our civilization, we no longer view women as property, just as we don’t accept slavery as moral (as Jesus apparently did: Colossians 3:22.)

    I implore you all – leave the Bronze Age behind and find the power of reason.

  46. brcc

    I’m one of those people who as a child (4 yrs old, maybe younger) masturbated. The problem is my parents never were attentive enough to know I was doing it and it has turned into a lifelong problem that to this day I cannot get under control. Now, you’re going to tell me that as a Christian woman I should just accept it and try not to think about sex as I’m having sex with myself?

    Honestly, I think a lot of you don’t even know how it feels when sex becomes something you don’t want to do but you do anyway (and I’m not talking about rape or consenting with a spouse when you don’t feel like it). I mean, you really can’t stop.

    And some of you who judge people who masturbate may need to rethink some of the things you do in daily lives that God sees as perverse, like watching rated R movies, letting your kids trick or treat, or telling a white lie. God sees all sin as sin, and I’m going to feel guilty for mine until I change. Maybe you should take a look at yourself and try to change some things too.

  47. Nobody88

    Masturbation is tuff to quite. Porn, hjs from somebody and lust r sins. It is a bad habit. And I’d be lying if I said I never struggled. I’m just saying it is better than burning with lust. Take care of it in a healthy way an it isn’t wrong in of itself.

  48. jj

    Dear Single Brothers and Sisters In The Lord:

    There are just as many arguments for releasing your sexual desires in this way as there are against. Clearly, many of us go thru all kinds of emotions, guilt, embarrassment, guilt again, and even some more guilt. Just as clear, it is something that is serious and important to you……which means it’s also important to GOD. Therefore, you should not feel guilty taking it to him and being honest about it and asking GOD for clarity and direction on this. The ONE THING all of us seek is HIS answers “once and for all”. It’s true, scripture does not address this subject specifically, and one poster explained it very well by saying it’s a private matter between you and GOD. Like it or not, when we became Christians, we did NOT all of a sudden lose our sexual desires. As a single person, it’s not like your spouse is going to make themselves available to fulfill that GOD given desire. So, what do you do? Suppressing that desire only makes it come back stronger the next time. Very few of us sincerely desire to go outside of our fidelity to GOD to satisfy this need. For the ones that do…….the price you pay for that will be far greater than NOT sexing up with others. Sleeping around will only make you feel more empty inside and who wants that? The real question is………how do you satisfy your sexual urges in a way that will at least NOT bring dishonor to our loving heavenly father? If you have a close personal relationship with GOD, have you taken the time to get the direction you need on this subject? The one thing I encourage all of you to do is NOT condemn yourself over it. There is a way to find a healthy balance and yes I do know that he can re-direct those same sexual urges into other area’s of your life. That is especially true if you find yourself bombarded with your libido. As for porn being your visual TV (you all know what I’m talking about)…………when was the last time you saw porn where it was portrayed in a LOVING, intimate, self (less) way? GOD IS LOVE and there is NO WAY he can be glorified in this medium. That is a road to nowhere. Some have said that they think of their future spouse when they masturbate. That’s about as close as one can get to the intimacy they deserve and seek. Sorry for the long post here folks, but the bottom line here is that each one of us was created as light, we live in a body of flesh and that flesh has healthy GOD given desires which is not something to be ashamed over. But, we can ask GOD to give us a balance and control over it in a way that will indeed be acceptable. If you are struggling with what’s right or what’s wrong………..the LAST thing you want to do is beat yourself up over it. GOD wants you walking in victory and in light as he is in the light. Ask yourself this question…when you satisfy sexually, do you lose your love for GOD? or is it more like the accuser comes in to lay guilt all over you. May all of you find the peace about the fact that you are sexual beings regardless of what some well meaning Christians would have you think otherwise. The key is to NOT let it have dominion over you.

  49. Jumbledog

    Hi. I am very confused by the answers on there that say it’s ok to masturbate as long as you don’t have lustful or perverted thoughts. Firstly, how on earth is this possible, as by nature sexual desire if not a pure desire out of love for another person, is lust…in other words, to have pure and holy sex it must be only out of love for your spouse. What do people class as lustful or perverted thoughts? One person’s perverted is another persons normal. But the lustful thoughts thing… I’ve read this before in an article by Nicky Gumbel of the Alpha course… I just don’t understand how on earth you are supposed to masturbute without having lustful thoughts. It’s those thoughts which make you feel that way… we are programmed as men and women to have physical desires towards the opposite sex (unless yo are gay and I’m not going into that here), to desire their bodies and sexual organs, and getting “horny” happens quite spontaneously and those desires come into your mind…probably with vivid imagery, but depending on how imaginative you are as a person. There are certain times I just can’t stop thinking about sex and the opposite sex. I wouldnm’t even feel those desires normally without those thoughts happening first… though sometimes sexual feelings can arise from other things, but the thoughts and feelings go hand in hand… otherwise what are we feeling sexy about anyway? Sexual desire comes from a basic desire to have sex… masturbation is the way of expressing this when on your own and not having a spouse to do so with (not that the spouse would necessarily always want to do it when you do either… marriage is about two people who have their own minds…) Anyway, I am a Christian who struggles with knowing if it is a sin or not. I’m not married and not likely to be so, fed up with having to feel guilty all the time.

  50. Virginia Robles

    I do stuggle in my single life and yes, I feel so sorry for what I do sometimes and I want to respect any feelings that I may have, so I pray and will let God be in control of my body. This body that God created is his and I have no right to disobey God’s word.

    Just to let other single people know you are not alone and if you earnestly pray to God, he will help you and control any feelings you have.

    May God Bless each of us.

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