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Masturbation and Christian Singles

Masturbation and Christian SinglesLet’s talk about the M word and Christian singles. Masturbation and Christian Singles. Male masturbation. Female masturbation. Adolescent masturbation. Chronic masturbation. ¬† Christian Singles and Masturbation.

Is it a sin to masturbate? Are you feeling awkward yet? Most pastors apparently are because they avoid the masturbation topic at all costs. This is a little ironic, to say the least, when survey after survey reveals a majority of married and single Christians of all different ages (guys and gals) masturbate, and suffer intense guilt over it. I personally get hundreds of emails on this site regularly from Christian singles struggling with masturbation.

Masturbation and Christian Singles Struggles

As a Christian single, just what are your feelings about masturbation? Are you a masturbator? Do you struggle with your Christian Lifestyle because you feel it is morally wrong? Do you live in guilt and confusion over the whole issue?

Personally, I can’t stand it when Christian teachers and churches are so dogmatic on the “rights” and “wrongs” of masturbatory activities because it’s such a complex issue, with many different contingencies connected to the practice. So I’ll try to leave my preaching in the pulpit as I hand out from my heart some observations about masturbation and Christians who practice it. I’ll also be sharing some ¬†Scriptures to help guide you through this sensitive, sticky issue.

Masturbation and Christian Singles Observations

  1. The Bible is silent on the specific issue of masturbation even though the vast majority of humankind is preoccupied with it.
  2. The Roman Catholic Church, some Protestant denominations and even Webster’s Dictionary have attempted to equate the sin of Onan (Genesis 38:6-10) with masturbation, but a simple exegesis of these passages precludes this possibility. You see, under Jewish law, a person was required to procreate with his brother’s widow. When Onan refused out of selfishness, the Lord killed him. The bottom line here? God did not whack Onan for whacking off, but rather for “spilling his seed” by ejaculating outside of his dead brother’s wife during sexual intercourse.
  3. Many Christian singles and not a few Christian pastors feel masturbation to orgasm is acceptable in order to: 1) relieve unabated sexual tension, and/or 2) to avoid sexual immorality. The catch is that there should be no lustful thoughts connected to the act.
  4. Regarding masturbation and Christian singles, the vast majority of single Christians feel that compulsive masturbation, simply for the purpose of self gratification, is always wrong. Most would also agree that habitual masturbation while single will make it harder for any future spouse to please them sexually.

Notwithstanding the above points, let the following paraphrased verses guide you as you pray and seek the Lord over whether masturbating should have any room in your life as a single person:

  • Matthew 5:28- Looking lustily at a woman (or a man if you’re a woman) means you are commiting adultery in your heart.
  • 1 Corinthians 6:12- All things are lawful for you, but not all things are profitable.
  • 1 Corinthians 6:19,20- Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, and so you should glorify God with it.
  • 1 Thessalonians 4:4,5- You should learn to control your body in a holy and honourable way, not in passionate lust like the heathens.
  • 2 Peter 2:19- You are a slave to whatever has mastered you.
  • James 4:17- If you know you should do something, but fail to do it, it’s sin.

Finally, if you are a Christian who is really beating yourself up over the issue of masturbation, or are struggling with sexual impurity, remember that Jesus offers forgiveness (1 John 1:9) you and loves you where you are. Repent and move on in peace! Also consider the words of James Dobson of Focus on the Family regarding masturbation and Christian singles:

“It is my opinion that masturbation is not much of an issue with God. It does not cause disease. It does not produce babies, and Jesus did not mention it in the Bible. I’m not telling you to masturbate, and I hope you won’t feel the need for it. But if you do, it is my opinion that you should not struggle with guilt over it.”

So what are your thoughts on masturbation and Christian singles?

Christian Dating Service

154 Comments

  1. Jumbledog

    Hi. I am very confused by the answers on there that say it’s ok to masturbate as long as you don’t have lustful or perverted thoughts. Firstly, how on earth is this possible, as by nature sexual desire if not a pure desire out of love for another person, is lust…in other words, to have pure and holy sex it must be only out of love for your spouse. What do people class as lustful or perverted thoughts? One person’s perverted is another persons normal. But the lustful thoughts thing… I’ve read this before in an article by Nicky Gumbel of the Alpha course… I just don’t understand how on earth you are supposed to masturbute without having lustful thoughts. It’s those thoughts which make you feel that way… we are programmed as men and women to have physical desires towards the opposite sex (unless yo are gay and I’m not going into that here), to desire their bodies and sexual organs, and getting “horny” happens quite spontaneously and those desires come into your mind…probably with vivid imagery, but depending on how imaginative you are as a person. There are certain times I just can’t stop thinking about sex and the opposite sex. I wouldnm’t even feel those desires normally without those thoughts happening first… though sometimes sexual feelings can arise from other things, but the thoughts and feelings go hand in hand… otherwise what are we feeling sexy about anyway? Sexual desire comes from a basic desire to have sex… masturbation is the way of expressing this when on your own and not having a spouse to do so with (not that the spouse would necessarily always want to do it when you do either… marriage is about two people who have their own minds…) Anyway, I am a Christian who struggles with knowing if it is a sin or not. I’m not married and not likely to be so, fed up with having to feel guilty all the time.

  2. Virginia Robles

    I do stuggle in my single life and yes, I feel so sorry for what I do sometimes and I want to respect any feelings that I may have, so I pray and will let God be in control of my body. This body that God created is his and I have no right to disobey God’s word.

    Just to let other single people know you are not alone and if you earnestly pray to God, he will help you and control any feelings you have.

    May God Bless each of us.

  3. inkaboutit4ucom

    MASTURBATION Is NOT A sin in the Bible.
    inkaboutit4u.com
    Masturbation is clearly described in the Bible in Lev 15:16-20 and clearly NO SIN OFFERING IS REQUIRED.

    Meaning under the most strictest ceremonial Law in the Bible, Masturbation is clearly NOT a sin at all. That would also include the normal loving sexual fantasies that go along with sexual enjoyment.

    No other Bible verses in all the Bible descride masturbation and clearly show it is NOT a sin of any kind but it clearly a wonderful gift of God for all to enjoy with over 50 benefits.

  4. Laila

    I am a 23 year old born-again Christian woman. I have never been in a relationship with another person because I wish to wait for God to lead me to the right man.
    I have been masturbating since I was 18. I’ve never used pornography. I rarely use anything other than my hands to masturbate. I always masturbate to orgasm. I masturbate for two reasons:
    1) to relieve my sexual desires. If I go for more than a month without masturbating, I start fantasizing about people I am not attracted to and sometimes, (this is even worse), I get dirty dreams.
    2) to fall asleep! Believe it or not, an orgasm puts me to sleep right away! If I’m tossing and turning in bed and I know that I need a good night’s sleep in order to be functional the next day, then I will masturbate even though I don’t particularly want to.

    Whatever the reason, I always struggle with guilt when I wake up the next morning. I know that my body is a temple of God. I want to reserve my sexual feelings for the person I marry (If God wants me to marry). But my desires are too strong for my will power. I have tried to ‘quit’ several times, but eventually the need always returns. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. I know that I can only free myself from masturbation if I completely surrender to the power of the Holy Spirit. Please pray for me.

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