Unrequited Love ¾ø´Â »ç¶û
In my personal experience, unrequited love is like death, only worse. ´ÜÁö ³» °³ÀÎÀûÀÎ °æÇè ¾ÇÈ, º¸´ä¾ø´Â »ç¶ûÀÌ Á×À½°ú °°´Ù. Unrequited love occurs when the person you absolutely are ¡°head over heels¡± in love with does not reciprocate the same desire and feelings. ¾ø´Â »ç¶û¿¡ Àý´ëÀû ¶§ "°øÁßÁ¦ ºñ¸¦"»ç¶ûÇÏ´Â »ç¶÷°ú °°Àº ¿å¸Á°ú °¨Á¤À» º¸´äÇÏÁö ¾Ê´Â °æ¿ì ¹ß»ýÇÕ´Ï´Ù. Can you think of anything more emotionally and spiritually painful than unrequited love? ´ç½ÅÀº ¾î¶² Á¤¼Àû ±×¸®°í ¿µÀûÀ¸·Î º¸´ä¾ø´Â »ç¶ûº¸´Ù ´õ °íÅ뽺·¯¿î ÀÖÀ»±î?
Unrequited Love and Hope for Healing Èñ¸Á¾ø´Â »ç¶û°ú Ä¡À¯¸¦À§ÇÑ
At least in death a Christian single is done with pain. Á×À½¿¡ Àû¾îµµ ÇϳªÀÇ ±×¸®½ºµµÀÇ °íÅë°ú ÇÔ²² ÀÌ·ç¾îÁý´Ï´Ù. In unrequited love the pain just goes on and on. °íÅëÀ» ±×³É °è¼ÓÇØ¼°¡´Â º¸´ä¾ø´Â »ç¶û¿¡ ºüÁ³¾î¿ä. Sigh. ÇѼûÀ». If it¡¯s really true love, the victim of unrequited love has a long process of working through the ¸¸¾à ±×°Ô Á¤¸» ÁøÁ¤ÇÑ »ç¶û, º¸´ä¾ø´Â »ç¶ûÀÇ ÇÇÇØÀÚ¸¦ ÅëÇØ ÀÛ¾÷ÀÇ ±ä °úÁ¤À»ÇϰíÀÖ´Ù rejection °ÅºÎ , heartbreak and ºñź°ú depression ¿ì¿ïÁõ . Many singles who have been hurt in this way in the past also have to overcome ÀÌ ¹æ¹ýÀ¸·Î °ú°ÅÀÇ »óóµµ ±Øº¹ ÇØ¿Ô´Ù ¸¹Àº ½Ì±Û fears of entering any future dating relationship. µ¥ÀÌÆ® °ü°è¿¡ ¾î¶² ¹Ì·¡¸¦ ÀÔ·ÂÇÏ´Â µÎ·Á¿ò.
One of the main things that helped me heal from unrequited love was remembering my Saviour also suffered from a form of unrequited love when he gave Himself on the cross. Çϳª´Â Áß¾Ó »ç¹°ÀÇ ³¯ ¾Ê´Â »ç¶û¿¡¼ Ä¡·áµµ¹ÞÁö ¾Ê´Â »ç¶ûÀÇ ¾ç½Ä¿¡¼ ±×°¡ ½ÊÀÚ°¡¿¡ ¸ø ¹ÚÇô ÀڽŠÁØ °íÅëÀ» ³ªÀÇ ±¸ÁÖ ±â¾ïÀÌ ³µ¾î¿ä. That¡¯s why he can sympathize and empathize with us in this area. ±× ÀÌÀ¯´Â ±× »ç¶÷ÀÌ °ø°¨ÇÒ ¼öÀÖ´Â ¿ì¸®¿Í ÇÔ²²ÀÌ Áö¿ª¿¡ °ø°¨. Can you imagine the pain the bore for us? ´ç½ÅÀº °íÅëÀ» ¿ì¸®¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Áö·çÇÑ »ó»óÀ̳ª ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ°Ú¾î?
Bible Verse of Day ¼º°æ ±¸ÀýÀÇ ³¯
-He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. ºñ·Ï ¼¼»óÀÌ ±×¸¦ ÅëÇØ Á¦ÃâµÇ¾ú´Ù - ±×´Â ¼¼»ó¿¡¼, ±×¸®°í, ¼¼»óÀº ±×¸¦ ÀÎÁ¤ÇÏÁö ¾Ê¾Ò´Ù. He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him- John 1:11 ±×´Â ±× ÀÚ½ÅÇßÁö¸¸, ±×ÀÇ ±×¸¦ - Á¸ 1½Ã 11ºÐ¹ÞÁö ¸øÇÑ ÀÚ½ÅÀÇ ¿Â
















I am going through this and it is extremely painful. À̰ÍÀ» ÅëÇØ ³»°¡ °¡°íÀÚÇϸç, ±×°ÍÀº ¸Å¿ì °íÅ뽺·¯¿îÀÔ´Ï´Ù. It IS like dying and thanks for understanding about resenting the Bible being preached at you during times of intense distress. ±×°ÍÀº Á×À½°ú °¨»ç¿¡ ´ëÇÑ ÀÌÇØ¸¦ À§ÇØ ¼º°æÀ» ¿ø¸ÁÇÏ´Â ¸¶À½¿¡¼ °Ý·ÄÇÑ °íÅëÀÇ ½Ã°£ µ¿¾È ÀüÆÄµÇ°íÀÖ´Ù.
After all, the Bible also applies to those other parties involved in this situation so how can I personalise it, in any way? °á±¹, ¼º°æÀÇ ´Ù¸¥ Á¤´çµéµµÀÌ »óȲ¿¡ Âü¿© ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖµµ·Ï ¸ÂÃã ±¸¼ºÇÏ´Â ¹æ¹ýÀ» ³»°¡ ¾î¶² ¹æ½ÄÀ¸·Î Àû¿ë? Given they are happy and I am not, it seems the Bible applies even more so to them, as they are the ones who have experienced love, acceptance, fruition. ±×µéÀº »ç¶÷ÀÌ »ç¶û, ¼ö¿ë, °á½Ç °æÇèÀ» °¡Áø »ç¶÷µéÀÌ ÇູÇÏ°í ³ ¾Æ´Ï, À̰ÍÀº ¼º°æÀ» °¨¾ÈÇÒ ¶§ ´õ¿í ±×·¸°Ô º¸Àδ٠±×µé¿¡°Ô Àû¿ëµË´Ï´Ù.
The complicating thing is that I thought he liked me and he gave me cause to believe he did with his conversation, °¡Àå º¹ÀâÇÑ °ÍÀº ±×°¡ ³ª¸¦ ÁÁ¾ÆÇÏ´Â ±×°¡ ³»°Ô ÁØ ±×´Â ´ëÈ¿Í ÇÔ²²Çß´ø ¹ÏÀ½À» ÀÏÀ¸Å³ »ý°¢ÀÔ´Ï´Ù body language ½Åü ¾ð¾î and eye contact etc. °ú ´«À» ¸¶ÁÖÄ¡Áö µî
Dear Asha: Ä£¾ÖÇÏ´Â ¾Æ»þ :
Thanks for your comment, and we are praying for the pain you are experiencing with unrequited love. ±ÍÇÏÀÇ ÀǰßÀ» Áּż °¨»ç µå¸®¸ç, ¿ì¸®°¡ ´ç½Å ¾Ê´Â »ç¶ûÀ¸·Î °Þ°íÀÖ´Â °íÅëÀ» À§Çر⵵ÇϰíÀÖ´Ù. I want to refer you to the life of Job. ³ Á÷¾÷ÀÇ »î¿¡ ´ç½ÅÀ» ÂüÁ¶ ½Í¾î¿ä. It looked bad in the outset¡¦but God worked it out all for good in the end. ±×°ÍÀº ½ÃÃÊ¿¡ ³ª»Û ¸ð½À ...ÇÏÁö¸¸ °á±¹Àº ÁÁÀº Çϳª´Ô¿¡ ´ëÇÑ ¸ðµç ±×°ÍÀ» ¾Ë¾Æ³Â½À´Ï´Ù. Please hang on to Jesus during this trial¡¦Keep in touch Á¦¹ß ¿¹¼ö´ÔÀÌ ÀçÆÇ µµÁß¿¡ ¿¬¶ôÀ» °è¼Ó ¹öÅß ...
David µ¥À̺ø
I completely understand, I am going through it right now and some days, I¡¯m ok and sometimes I am just so depressed about it. ³ª´Â ¿ÏÀüÈ÷, ³»°¡ ±×°ÍÀ» ÅëÇØ Áö±Ý°ú ÀϺΠÀÏ °¡³Ä°í ÀÌÇØ, ³ ±¦Âú ¾Æ¿ä °¡²ûÀº ³»°¡ ±×°Í¿¡ ´ëÇØ ³Ê¹« ½½ÆÛ. I am a young woman and I was raised to believe that if the man is interested in a woman, than HE¡¯LL pursue her. ³ ÀþÀº ¿©ÀÚ¿Í ¹ÏÀ½À» Á¦±â ³ª´Â ±×°Íº¸´Ù ±×³à¸¦ Ãß±¸ÇÏ´Â ³²ÀÚ¸é ¿©ÀÚ¿¡ °ü½ÉÀÌÀÖ´Ù. Right? ¸ÂÁÒ?
Unrequited love does feel horrible. ¾ø´Â »ç¶û¿¡ ²ûÂïÇÑ ´À³¦ ¾Ê½À´Ï´Ù. It feels like you¡¯re dying. ´ç½ÅÀÌ Á×¾î °¡°í ÀÖ´Ù°íó·³ ´À²¸ Á®¿ä. This has got to be one of the worst anybody can suffer. À̰ÍÀº ÃÖ¾ÇÀÇ ´Ù¸¥»ç¶÷ÀÇ °íÅëÀ» ÇÒ ¼öÀÖÀ» °Å¿¹¿ä. It feels worse than depression. ¿ì¿ïÁõº¸´Ù ´õ ¾ÈÁÁ°Ô ´À²¸Áý´Ï´Ù. Unfortunately, I¡¯m going through it. ºÒÇàÇϰԵµ, ³ ±×°ÍÀ» ÅëÇØ¼ °£´Ù. When the object of your affection doesn¡¯t feel the same way or doesn¡¯t reciprocate your feelings it can tear you apart. ±ÍÇÏÀÇ ¾ÖÁ¤ÀÇ ´ë»óÀ̳ª ¶È°°Àº ¹æ½ÄÀ¸·Î ´À³¢Áö ¸øÇϸé, ±×°ÍÀÌ °¥¶ó ³õÀ» ¼ö ´«¹° ÀÚ½ÅÀÇ °¨Á¤À» º¸´äÇÏÁö ¾Ê½À´Ï´Ù. I have never felt so miserable in my life. ³» Àλý¿¡¼ ÀÌ·¸°Ô ºñÂüÇÏ°Ô ´À³¤ ÀûÀÌ ¾ø´Ù. There are days when I feel fine but most of the time I feel intense sadness. ÀÌ¹Ì ¶§ ±âºÐÀº ÁÁ¾Æ¿äÇÏÁö¸¸ ´ëºÎºÐÀÇ ½Ã°£À» ¸çÄ¥ Àü °Ý·ÄÇÑ ½½ÇÄÀ» ´À³¥ ¼öÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù. It is so overwhelming. ³Ê¹« ¾ç»óÀ» º¸¿´½À´Ï´Ù. There are times when it seems I can¡¯t function or I can¡¯t go on. °Å±â¿¡ ³»°¡ ÀÛµ¿ÇÏÁö ¾ÊÀ» ¼öÀÖ´Â ¶§°¡ ¾Æ´Ï¸é ³»°¡ °¥ ¼ö ¾ø¾î º¸ÀδÙ. I remember when it was hard for me to concentrate at work and I just wanted to go home and crawl into bed. ³»°¡ ³¯ Á÷Àå¿¡ ÁýÁßÇÏ°í ³ ±×³É Áý¿¡ °¡°í ½Í¾úÀ» ¶§¿Í Å©·Ñ ¸µÀ» ħ´ë·Î Èûµé¾ú´ø ±â¾ï. One day I felt so severely depressed I couldn¡¯t even finish doing my hair and just went straight to bed. ÇÏ·çµµ ³» ¸Ó¸®¸¦ÇÏ°í ³ ±×·¸°Ô ½É°¢ÇÏ°Ô ³¡³¾ ¼ö¾ø½À´Ï´Ù ±×³É ħ´ë·Î °ðÀå °¬´Ù ¿ì¿ï ´À²¼´Ù. I realize it¡¯s time for me to move on. ±×·¡¼ À̻縦°¡ ³¯ À§ÇØ ½Ã°£À» ½ÇÇöÇß´Ù.
Unrequited love? ¾ø´Â »ç¶û? I¡¯m in this situation myself, she was one of my closest friends and it does hurt, and has for sometime now¡¦ but to equate this to the feelings of death or dying ¡°only worse,¡± I think is, pardon my directness, ridiculous. ³ÀÌ »óȲÀÌ Àڽſ¡ÀÖ¾î, ±×³à´Â ³» °¡Àå Ä£ÇÑ Ä£±¸ Áß Çϳª ÀÖ¾ú´Âµ¥, ±×°ÍÀ» ÇØÄ¡Áö ¾Ê´Â, ±×¸®°í ¾ðÁ¨°¡´Â Áö±Ý ...ÇÏÁö¸¸ Á×À½À̳ª Á×¾îÀÇ °¨Á¤ÀÌ µ¿µî "½ÉÇØ,"Á¦°¡ »ý°¢Çϱ⿡, »ç¸é ³» ¶È¹Ù¸§, ¸»µµ ¾ÈµÅ. If this is really how you feel, there might be some underlying issues and good, Christian counseling might be something to really consider. ÀÌ°Ô Á¤¸»À̶ó¸é ±âºÐÀÌ ÁÁÀº ¸î °¡Áö ±Ùº»ÀûÀÎ ¹®Á¦ÀÖÀ» °Í °°´Ù´Â, ±âµ¶±³ »ó´ã Á¤¸» °í·ÁÇØ¾ß ÇÒ ¹º°¡°¡ ´õÀÖÀ» ¼öµµÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
The world is a pretty big place and people everywhere are really suffering, losing children and parents to sickness and disease, impoverished and just trying to survive, battling severe mental illnesses and being imprisoned simply for wanting to worship God, unrequited love to them would be a luxury of a problem¡¦ ¼¼»óÀº ²Ï Å« Àå¼Ò¿Í »ç¶÷µéÀÌ »ç¹æ¿¡ Á¤¸» °íÅë, Áúº´ ¹× Áúº´, °¡³À¸·Î ¾î¸°ÀÌ¿Í ºÎ¸ð¸¦ ÀÒ°íÀ̸ç, ´ÜÁö »ì¾Æ³²±â À§ÇØ ¾È°£ÈûÀ» ½ñ°í, ½É°¢ÇÑ Á¤½Å ÁúȯÀÌ ½Î¿ò°ú °£´ÜÈ÷ ¿¹¹è¸¦ Çϳª´ÔÀÌ ¿øÇÏ´Â Åõ¿ÁµÇ°í, ±×µé¿¡°Ô º¸´ä¾ø´Â »ç¶ûÀÌ µÉ °ÍÀ̶ó°í ¹®Á¦ÀÇ È£È ...
Mike, ¸¶ÀÌÅ©,
about unrequited love feelings, just because you don¡¯t feel things as intensely as others does not mean that you are the correct standard and that others are wrong because they deviate from the way you react. ´Ù¸¥ ±× Á¤È®ÇÑ ±âÁذú ´Ù¸¥ »ç¶÷µéÀÌ ¹ÝÀÀÇÏ´Â ¹æ½Ä¿¡¼ ¹þ¾î³ª°í Àֱ⠶§¹®¿¡ À߸øÇÏ´Â °ÍÀº ¾Æ´Ï´Ù º¸´ä¾ø´Â »ç¶ûÀÇ °¨Á¤¿¡ ´ëÇØ °Ý·ÄÇϰÔÇØ¼ °°Àº °ÍµéÀ» ´À³¢Áö ¾Ê´Â´Ù.
Different people and personality types differ greatly in the way they react to loss. ´Ù¸¥ »ç¶÷°ú ±×µéÀÇ ¼º°Ý À¯ÇüÀ» Å©°Ô ¼Õ½Ç¿¡ ¹ÝÀÀÇÏ´Â ¹æ½Ä¿¡ Â÷À̰¡ÀÖ´Ù. For example, my mother committed suicide when I was five years old. ¿¹¸¦ µé¾î, ³»°¡ 5 »ì ¶§ ¾î¸Ó´Ï°¡ ÀÚ»ìÇß´Ù. Therefore, losses are harder for me than for many people. µû¶ó¼, ¼Õ½ÇÇÏ´Â ³¯ À§ÇØ ¸¹Àº »ç¶÷µé¿¡°Ôº¸´Ù ´õ ¾î·Á¿ö. Yes, there are times I do feel like dying over my unrequited love. ³×, °Å±â¿¡ ³»°¡¾ø´Â »ç¶ûº¸´Ù Á׾´Â ´À³¦ ÇÒ ½Ã°£ÀÔ´Ï´Ù. Because to me, a life without love is hardly worth living. ³»°Ô »ç¶û¾øÀÌ »ç´Â »îÀÇ °¡Ä¡°¡ Àֱ⠶§¹®¿¡ ¾î·Æ´Ù. It¡¯s hard to keep going on doing things without a partner to share life with. ±×°ÍÀ» °øÀ¯ÇÏ´Â ÆÄÆ®³Ê¿Í ÇÔ²² Àλý¿¡¼ °è¼Ó ÀÏÀ»ÇÏÁö ¾Ê°í´Â ¾î·Æ´Ù.
I am aware that others suffer greatly in other countries and here in the USA. ³ª´Â ´Ù¸¥ »ç¶÷°ú ¿©±â¿¡ ¹Ì±¹¿¡¼ ´Ù¸¥ ±¹°¡¿¡ Å« °íÅëÀ» ÀνÄÇϰí ÀÖ¾î¿ä. However, that sometimes doesn¡¯t help a lot when you live and work with mostly happily married people without those horrible circumstances! ±×·¯³ª ¶§·Î´Â ³×°¡ »ì ¶§ ¸¹Àº µµ¿òÀ̵ÇÁö ¾ÊÀ¸¸ç ±× ²ûÁ÷ÇÑ »óȲ¿¡¼ ÇູÇÏ°Ô °áÈ¥ÇÏÁö ¾Ê°í ´ëºÎºÐÀÇ »ç¶÷µé°ú ÀÏÇÏ´Â!
I don¡¯t think people¡¯s feelings can be written off as ¡°ridiculous¡±. ³ »ç¶÷ÀÇ °¨Á¤¿¡¼ Áö¿ï ¼ö ÀÖ´Ù°í »ý°¢ÇÏÁö ¾Ê´Â´Ù ""¸»µµ ¾ÈµÅ. To label them that way just adds to their pain. ±×·±½ÄÀ¸·Î ±×µéÀÇ °íÅëÀ» ±×³É ±×µéÀ» ¶óº§¿¡ Ãß°¡ÇÕ´Ï´Ù. It¡¯s like kicking a fellow soldier when they are down. ±×°ÍÀº µ¿·á º´»ç¸¦ °È¾îÂ÷´Â ¶§ ¾É¾ÒÁö °°Àº°Å¾ß.
WHEN DOES IT STOP HURTING? °íÅëÀ» ¸ØÃß°Ô ÇÒ ¶§ ¹«¾ùÀԴϱî? WHEN WILL MY HEART REALIZE THAT IT¡¯S TOO LATE FOR ANYTHING TO HAPPEN BETWEEN US? ³» ¸¶À½À» ±ú´Ý°Ô µÉ ¶§ ±× »çÀÌ¿¡ ¹Ì±¹¿¡ ¾î¶² ÀÏÀÌ ³Ê¹« ´Ê¾ú¾î? It¡¯s been four years and I still can¡¯t forget him. 4 ³âÀÌ Èê·¶Áö¸¸ ³ ¿©ÀüÈ÷ ±×¸¦ ÀØÁö ¸øÇÑ´Ù. I try praying to turn my thoughts away from him and towards God, but it doesn¡¯t work. µµ¸Á Ä¡¿¡¼ ³» »ý°¢À» Â÷·Ê·Î±âµµÇϰí Çϳª´ÔÀ» ÇâÇØ ³ë·ÂÇÏÁö¸¸, ±×°ÍÀÌ ÀÛµ¿ÇÏÁö ¾Ê½À´Ï´Ù. I dream about him. ³ª´Â ±×¿¡ ´ëÇØ ²Þ. As if it weren¡¯t torturous enough for thoughts of him to invade my waking life, his effigy haunts my dreams. ±×¸¦ »ý°¢Çϸé ÃæºÐÈ÷µÇÁö ¾ÊÀº torturous ³» ±ú¾îÀÖ´Â »ýȰÀ» Ä§ÇØÇϰí, ±×ÀÇ Á¶»óÀÇ Ãâ¸ô Áö¿ª ³» ²Þ.