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Broken Hearted: How to Mend a Broken Heart

how to mend a broken heartHow to mend a broken heart for singles who are broken hearted? Almost everyone has had their own “broken heart confession” of a lost relationship. A broken heart is a broken heart, whether that relationship was in a dating context or a marriage. All I can say is it’s one of the most painful things I’ve ever suffered.
While mending a broken heart takes different amounts of time for each person, the following points on how to mend a broken heart will be helpful to all single Christians.

How to Mend a Broken Heart Guide

Talk About Your Broken Heart With Those Who Care

One of the best ways to begin mending a broken heart is to talk about it. Talking about our pain helps us accept the reality of the situation, and guides us along in the healing process and dealing with guilt, if any

As Christian singles, the first person we should go to is the Lord. A beautiful promise is found in Psalms 34:18: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Tell your heavenly Dad where it hurts, and exactly how you feel. Don’t hold back anything because He is there for you, and can take whatever you throw at Him.

Beyond pouring out your broken heart to the Lord, getting involved in a Christian singles group, church fellowship, or support group will give you a safe place to share your painful experiences and receive love and support. Don’t feel that you can heal or mend your broken heart on your own. That’s just stupid pride, and will cause you to take longer to heal. We all need somebody from time to time.

Forgiveness Equals Healing

There is an amazing amount of healing power in being forgiven, or in granting forgiveness to someone who has wronged you. The power of forgiveness began at the cross of Christ, where He forgave us our sins. If you don’t understand what it means to be forgiven by God, please read how you can find peace with Him before continuing.

Forgiveness brings closure and cleansing, which speeds the healing of the broken hearted person. So if you wronged someone in a previous dating or marriage relationship, ask forgiveness. Whatever the other party does with that offer is not yours to worry about.

On the other hand, if someone has wronged you, don’t seek revenge (that’s the Lord’s to handle), but forgive from the heart. It doesn’t mean that you have now become a doormat for further abuse. Granting forgiveness to someone who has broken your heart does mean that you have decided to let go of the past and start a new beginning in your life.

Take Care of Your Body

Having a broken heart puts tremendous stress on your physical and emotional wellbeing. That’s why it’s important to eat right, drink plenty of fluids, exercise and find time for relaxation. Force yourself to do these things, even if you don’t feel like it, and it will help you overcome depression and feelings of low self-esteem. You’ll thank me later if you do.

Be Willing To Take Another Risk

Okay, your relationship didn’t work out, and you’ve been left with a broken heart. So take this time to evaluate where you can improve yourself for the future.

As a broken hearted single trying to mend, you are in a vulnerable state. That’s why you definitely want to avoid the dangers of a rebound relationship. This is especially true if you are a single parent dating with kids.

However, please don’t close yourself off to the possibility of romance. In the right time and place it’s a wonderful thing. In this regard, you may want to consider using an online Christian dating service because it’s a great way to ease back into dating on your terms, and at your own pace.

Are you a single woman or man with any additional advice on how to mend a broken heart?

Related Articles:

Dating After Divorce
Dating Advice: When to Dump a Dating Relationship

Christian Dating Service

232 Comments

  1. Phillip Renda

    I am heartbroken for the first time in my life (I’m sure that’s a Blessing in itself). I dated a young lady for 9 years. We planned to get married. I guess I should add that this was a “may-december” relationship. She was 20 when we started dating (she was in college), I was 50. And while many of my friends oftened thought it was strictly a physical ego thing on my part I knew as did she that we were deeply in Love. I know it was not for my money as is the case in many situatons like this because she knew I was far from wealthy. We had many things in common. She never gave me a clue it was about to be over. But, she said she needed to be on her own. Even the night before she told me how much she loved me and couldn’t live without me. I treated her like a queen and she always good to me. I still hurt and search for reasons why ( she was diagnosed as bi-polar months before the breakup). I know she is not dating anyone (it’s been 7 months) and I still keep hoping and hurting. She has texted me 3 or 4 times showing concern for me. When the weather got real cold she wanted me to promise her I would stay warm and be safe. I think she still cares, but maybe God has other plans for us. I miss her very much. But I trust God has a reason. Maybe it will work out one day. I pray daily that it will and at times I feel God is giving me a sign that it will. I just need to be patient. Please pray for me (us). God Bless.

  2. Sumaria

    I dont know how to begin. I m so broken hearted. I dated this man for almost 11years. and i feel that i invested so many years of my life for nothing. out of the 11 years that we were together he has another woman for 10 years. unitl this dated he is still with her and still want to continue seeing me. Im not sure if i love him anymore but is so hard to break up with him. im only 34yrs and i feel that i have wasted so many years of my life. I feel so lonely. why i can not be happy. why i can not find hapiness. the sad thing is that he tell me that what we have will get to no where but why is so hard for me to move on.. i need help serious help. this relationship is killing me inside, it get me depressed from one min to the other. Please God help me. I dont pray i dont know how to……my heart is broken into pieces….

  3. marvin

    I listened to what someone said about my girlfriend and now she broke up with me and said she will make me regret what i did tried my best to work out with her ask for forgiveness pray even at times lash out at the heavens for my mess and idk how to fix it or move on atm cause of all the pain. Its so hard to let go started praying again it helps for awhile and then more pain comes each time i think about it and its hard not trying to think about it. can anyone give me some advice and tips.

  4. Letty

    I just wanted to share a happy story to the mix. I posted earlier of my situation, and it got worse, however prayer does work. I have often prayed that that the truth will come out to everyone, to my ex BF, as well as to his friends and family he badmouthed me to, as it bothered me what they might think of me. I also asked that in the process of all that truth revealing that some good might come of it all and that my ex BF be blessed with a conscience, some remorse and regret and thereby hopefully effecting a change within him. God picked up my cross and fought my battle for me. The ex BF came to my home, apologized to me in tears, said that he FINALLY understood what all he has put me through, mental abuse and the hurt from cheating and all that.

  5. Chinua Dean

    Hello All, I just turned 40 and got dumped by my Girl Friend of 9yrs. it hurts but I guess its better than being an extra wallet for her. I really loved her,but being short, fat and ugly I shouldn’t be shocked. I really thought she saw me differently but I guess I was wrong. I have been in relationships before, I have even been married, and it all ends the same way. first Family rejects me then friends and eventually the woman. it doesn’t seem to matter what I do or how hard I try. I have been a reject all my life, but i am glad God has given me many of his angels to help. I hoped that this time a meant a real woman, a Strong woman who could love me. I just ended up getting suckered again. My love was not wanted but at least my wallet was accepted. I am tired. I thank the Lord I still have my health, my Job, a home and food to eat,but I have come to the understanding that love is about value and like many of God’s children I have very little here on earth. the worlds love is about meeting certain requirements and conditions that I just don’t meet. love is about pride and I am nothing to be proud of.
    I know that God loves me greatly and although I never was welcome by any family including my own. I know that he welcomes me in his. I am sorry to all I just needed to vent. I know that I am blessed with my job, and home, food, clothing, but I lack the hottest and rarest commodity known to man, that is Love. I guess as long as we judge a book by it’s cover man kind will always drop the ball when it come to love. Again I am not perfect but I am tired of getting my heart stomped, stabbed and walked on.I have lots of love to give,but as long as it’s coming from this ugly package it’s not wanted. thank you for reading, but the next time you catch yourself loving someone ask yourself why if they got fat, lost all their money, or their looks faded would you still love them? God bless you and never give up hope because Jesus never gives up on us.

  6. Nick

    To everyone out there that’s confused and has felt heartbroken, first you all must know that God knew that this would happen, and that even though our natural response as humans is to point the finger and blame everyone else involved, including God you have to also understand that we have a part to play in this as well I fell in love at he young age of 15 and have been syllabut ever since, find you refuge in God not in your self because when we do things on our own we will fail and also study Gods word because the things we think we know so well are often the things that we do ourselves. For example when I was 15 I dated a non Christian was cheated on several times And I refused to let her go and I had the walls torn down on everyone involved. Throw all of that together and what do we have a re enactment of sampson. So pray, study, and let God be your strength. Give him the relationship he deserves, and he will help and love you in ways you’ve never known possible

  7. Mona H

    I been trying to hang on to a relationship that causes me to stumble for a year and The Lord has finally showed me what I needed to see this mans heart. His heart has no room for me let alone God. He is a marine and I understood how hard it would be and still had faith we would work. The closer I got to the word the more we argued. It’s very painful but I am more faithful to my Jesus for being faithful to me even when I was not. I been used and lied to that’s very hard to take when you give your all. However the promises of the Lord still give me hope and desire to know him even more. In all times praise him.

  8. farie

    it is so painful to hear that people are hurting. when you look at God’s plan for marriage and what we go through, there is a tendency of wanting to give up. l want to encourage people to be ask God to help them to forgive. The moment we forgive our spouses and our exs and begin to pray for them we find that it is a whole lot easier to heal. please evryone one let us know we remain precious in God’s eyes nomatter what we go through

  9. torrey

    Hi , i was with my girlfriend for 9 months. The first 3 months were ok, then one day i stopped by her house and she said she wanted to break up! We talked and worked things out! 3 more months had passed, we were exchanging “I love yous” and going out and doing all sorts of things! I was jealous a few times because i didnt understand her outgoing personality and she tried to break up with me agian. I was insecure and a bit jealous but not to the point that i was timing her at the store or accusing her all the time! Honestly, i didnt trust her and thats probably becasue of past relationships but i gave her the benefit of the doubt! A day after the break up she came to my house crying saying she loved me and didnt mean the horrible things she had said to me during the breakup! We worked it out and kept moving. I thought we were past the bad times until 2 weeks ago when she tried to leave me again! This time she got very nasty and said very hurtfull things, so i got very angry and said alot of mean things to her! Once again we worked it out until yesterday! She sent me a text saying we should end the relationship, it wasnt working for her! I dont feel as much pain as i did the other times she broke up with me, i geuss i knew it was coming, I dont know how much more disaapointment i can take in a lifetime.We both had tons of dissappointment from previous relationships that seem to keep us at a standstill! I wanted us to heal togehter and make it work but she wants out! Im am hurt and feel so rejected. I pleaded with her in the past to hold on but i feel like im making a fool out of myself! Im not pleading with her this time, im trying to let her go! I never cheated on her and was loyal but we both made a few mistakes, i admitt that and apologized to her for it! She was so moody and sent mixed messages! She drug my heart thru the mud! My heart was broken when i met her, and she brokr what little i had left! Somebody help me stop the bleeding! Im a good guy, my past is killing me!

  10. Dennis

    My 1st girlfriend (of 16 months) broke up with me on Valentine’s Day through a text message. We had quite a few fights but most of them were centered around God. She is part of a very radical and judgmental church that condemns and tells people they are going to hell. I never agreed with that mentality. I always have believed that God loves us and is never angry with us, he is just disappointed.

    But during the relationship, we messed up and had sex. She became very attached to me as I was already very attached to her. We prayed on the phone every night and we had already picked out kids names and honeymoon spots and everything.

    On Valentine’s Day she was at Mardi Gras with her church street preaching. She said that she truly repented when she was there and that God told her I wasn’t meant for her and that dating is wrong.

    Then she posted a testimony that basically said that I was the main reason she was “going through the motions”. It hurts so much because I tried so hard during the relationship to show her true love. No I wasn’t perfect, but I did my best! I was faithful and never once tried to leave her, which I can’t say the same about her.

    But through all of this, I still love her so much. I miss my best friend and all our memories. But whenever I try to talk to her she either ignores me or tells me I need Jesus. I pray for her, that she will figure out how God really wants us to live, but it seems so unlikely that she’s gonna realize it. She’s grown up in this lifestyle and her parents don’t really give her much freedom. I always felt like they didn’t like me because I wouldn’t join the church and was very against it. But we always worked things out, I love her so much. What do I do? Valentine’s Day was over a month ago and last Valentine’s Day was the last time we had sex (I promised her we wouldn’t again until we were married and we didn’t, it was up to a year exactly), but the fact that it’s been a month and half and things are getting worse is maddening.

    Plus, I can’t stop texting her and she said she was gonna get a restraining order. I’m not threatening her or anything, normally I just tell her I love her or I remember a memory so I tell her. But today I found out some things in her past that may or may not be true sexually and it hurts me so much. She denied it, and she was offended that I believed it…but how am I suppose to trust she isn’t lying? Everything she ever said to me was a lie 🙁

  11. Rachael

    I am currently dealing with the most difficult break up of my life and feeling very terrible about the situation and myself. I was with my boyfriend for almost two years. When we first started hanging out I wasn’t interested and told my self to take a chance and for once go for the “nice guy” Boy has that really come back to bite me. He has cheated on my three times and slept with his ex girlfriend. I tried to do the right thing and forgive him because i believed in my heart that he really wasnt that person. I used to think that god brought him into my life for a reason but now I’m just so hurt because we have been going through this on and off crap for over a year. It really makes me feel like something is wrong with me and I am not good enough. Its even worse because he comes from a successful family and i come for nothing. I have had such a hard life and just feel like i can never get a break. I need prayer badly. I need to stop hurting and stop letting him do this to me. Please help 🙁

  12. Sharon

    I am a forty year old mother of 5 children.. four at home.. who is going through separation of a 19 year marriage.. I believed and prayed for my husband for many many years.. we have had troubles all the way through but I stuck at it.. Now he has gone and it is devastating to say the least.. I am slowly healing.. very slowly but so much want to have hope for my future.. I thought and prayed it would be with the one man.. I can see now that I am losing myself by trying to hold on to someone who does not want me… I just pray for the future that GOD has for me.. I have dreamed of a happy relationship for a long time.. Perhaps one day that will happen.. just need to let go of the past and heal..

  13. heather

    hello. 🙂 i’ve been praying here lately. i seek for comfort of a lost relationship in Jesus Christ, and i feel his warm presence with me. I feel like i complain too much about how i love him,and i wish the best for him in life. am i going about this the wrong way? should i focus more on asking God to help me forget about the guy i dated. and to heal my broken heart? or, should i pray to remember my ex, and to keep him dear to my heart, no matter how cold he is..maybe even pray that he’d have a better life? i’m asking this because i know we’re supposed to love everyone equal, no matter if they are brash towards us.

  14. D

    My girlfriend of 10 years began cheating on me with another woman last year, yet continued to tell me she wanted me in her life. Then skip ahed to this year, she married her girlfriend in March, and it has been the most devastating pain I have ever experienced, nothing has ever compared. What makes it so much harder is she keeps telling me she loves me and always will and doesn’t want me to disappear and needs me in her life, and misses me, etc. I’ve asked her to stop saying that, because it kills me, just kills me. She begs me not to move away, but I told her I can’t be friends, it’s too much for me to take to know she chose someone else over me after loving her so passionately, and I still do love her. I feel shame for yelling at her when I found this out, and I don’t want bad things to happen to her. This whole thing is a big secret because she doesn’t want her family to know and she says she isn’t gay & doesn’t know what’s going on with her. I just know how much it hurts me.

  15. iksheeta

    im pretty much going through the same thing as heather (the previous comment) – i was with my x for 5-6 months. we were really really close. we broke up coz apparently he got bored of me. 2 weeks later , he is dating another girl. And i remember, he told me that he was ‘anything but insensitive’. what happend?! then a month later he comes back – i forgive him and accept him. 2 days later he goes back to his x!!!!!
    i have been praying soo hard for them to break up :(. i know deep inside it is wrong. but what about all the pain he gave me? he is really really really happy with his gf right now and he doesnt even care if i exist or not. we do not talk at all. he hates me – just because he has another girl. What should i do ? pleaseee help! i have been praying to God – but the more i pray to God – the more i see my ex and his gf getting closer and better :(. it really really hurts me.

  16. paula yox

    im so broken hearted my husband left me about 2 and a half weeks ago i love him with all my heart and soul if he would just call me and talk about it with me maybe we can work this out

  17. Maria

    My boyfriend (of 4yrs) and I seemed to have a great relationship.. We had a lovely condo together, 2 new cars everything seem to be going great… Until he started cheating on me… I forgave him everytime…. Recently we”ve been having alot of arguements so he moved back with his parents… He was suppose to spend the weekend with me but instead I get a long facebook message stating why he didnt come, how he’s dating someone else, and how he’s changing his phone number so I cant call him anymore… At the end of this message he had a nerve to say “I love you’…. I sent him a message back waited a few minutes to see if I would get another respond and can you believe he blocked me on facebook. I can’t tell you how bad my heart is hurting.. I was bery close to this dude, he’s the only person in this world i told all my deepest thoughts and secrets to… Now he act as if I was never anything to him…. I pray to God and try reading scriptures to help me through this but the pain just seems to be so much…. I realize the relationship is over i just dont know how to move on…

  18. There was this boy whom i had a crush on since 7th grade.I iused to like him so much that i write him love letters and everything. Then during the summer before 8th grade i decided to forget about him, it wasnt ment to be. But then when we got back to school in 8th grade he started liking me so i liked him back, he got me hooked. So now i guess he’s been playing this game with me and to make a long story short. He broke my heart numerouse numbers of times and it even got to the point where in eleven grade he made this rumor up about me and spread it around school. So now he’s in a new relationship and i don’t know what to do. Yet God has revealed to me he isn’t the one…What to do.?

  19. Anonymous

    I dated this guy for 3-4 months. For the most part everything was great. He and I were happy together, or at least I thought so. One day we got into a huge argument. It resulted in him telling me to lose his number and to never contact him again. He told me that he had “lowered” his standards by talking to me, and I wasn’t even his type. He admitted he had also been seeing other girls while dating me, and was simply passing time with me. I am devastated as this is a recent event. I will not say I was completely innocent when arguing with him because I said some things I shouldn’t have. However, the things he said to me were much meaner. During our time dating I have always been fair, honest, and kind to him. He told me a couple of times that he wanted to be with me. Later, in the argument we had he said it was simply a lie he told me. I’m crying as I write this, because never in my life has someone hurt me like this. I need to put my faith back into God and not man.

  20. My girlfriend and I just broke up. It was mutual but not because we lost feelings or love for each other. A few months back she moved temporarily to another state. This was only supposed to be a month but she got a full time job offer for a career that she is passionate about and she took it. I myself am very passionate about what I do for a living and I understood why she took it. I am very proud of her but ultimately our lives are too crazy right now to be together. Plus, the 1,000 mile distance doesn’t make it any easier. She is supposed to return to where I am in a year, being that her job position was only offered for that amount of time. My only hope is that when she returns, God will see fit to reunite us. We are great together when we are both in the same state and can actually see each other often. I have no idea why this had to happen or what God is doing in my life or hers but I’ve got to trust Him. It’s the hardest thing a Christian can do. I love her very much and it is really breaking my heart right now to be without her in my life. If anyone out there cares, please pray for me and her. Thanks and God bless!

  21. Ginny

    Well I had been dating my ex who is my best friend for two years when we broke up. I started dating another guy but it wasn’t the same because I wasn’t able to talk to him about the things I was able to talk to my ex about. When the other guy broke up with me, my best friend was there for me 100%. He talked to him and tried to get him to change his mind because he knew I really liked him. And me and h
    my best friend just started getting back together and then he got totally changed by God and don’t get me wrong, I’m so happy for him and I think it’s so great but he decided he wants to be a missionary and go to college out of state and then go to jamaca. And I know I should be happy for him because he is my best friend but it’s so hard because I still want to be with him so so much but at the same time I don’t want to put myself through so much pain by waiting for him. He still wants to be best friends but it’s really hard for me to be friends with him while I try to get over him because he is so great and I could never stop loving him. I’m just confused and I pray and ask God for guidance but I never hear him. I just need some advice.

  22. tricia

    i have been through so much with this one man that I love so much. I have been with him since i was 16 years old and i am now 27. We have been together on and off and i did have other relationships in between but I always went back to him even though he cheated, lied and betrayed me several times in all these years. He has a drug addiction to meth and that has been the core of all the problems all these years. when he is sober we have the best times together but eventually he back slides and I am there to pick up all the pieces again. We started going to church regurlarly together for the past 7 years. We become involved and as soon as God makes a breakthrough with him he falls again. I have backslid twice in all these years because of becoming lonely and seeking support from the wrong people. I prayed while I was living on my own with our daughter before we got back together this last time … he seemed to have made a turn for the better and then a fellow member of our church who is also his boss started taking him out to bars when he himself had a wife and 2 kids at home. i became resentful. I really wanted to get married this year like we planned but the fights began late january and shortly there after I found pictures of other women on his phone. I left him and now he is back on drugs. His brother recently emailed me to let me know that he is worried about him and he IS on drugs again. I am hurt and dont know how to recover. I love my church but i felt like i had to leave because his boss and his boss’ family are members and I didn’t want them to see me going through all this mess. i did blame him for a while but not anymore. I know it was all my ex and influence or not he is a grown man and makes his own choices. I want to go back but I feel ashamed. I feel like a fool to think my ex was going to be diffferent this time around. i don’t know what to do. Were do I go from here?…. my daughter has been what has kept me going … I know God loves me and wants the best for me and maybe he wasn’t it but I feel bondage to this man. I don’t know if I will ever love someone else again. he is my first everything. I want him to sober up and become the man I know he can be. i don’t want to be with him anymore. Im way to scared now to ever try again. i still love him but why? Please pray for me and my situation. I will keep all of you in my prayers…

  23. Ti

    I have been going around with this guy for almost 4 and half years….and i did one mistake of not telling him about my past relationships caz in the beginning for some reason i never had the courage to tell him and when he came to know from someone else he really felt bad about it and he was hurt and broken hearted. I really felt bad too for him and for what i did, i was actually about to tell him, but it just happen a week before that one of his friend told him about me….I kept on saying sorry to him but it was quite difficult for him to accept that. I love him so much and i know i did a mistake….and I know its only God who can show me the way to go ahead caz its difficult to think about life without him.
    Please pray for me so I could have the strength to handle this situation.

  24. cookie

    i broke up with my ex almost a year ago…and now he has moved on with one of his best friend. And the best part is that all of us are in the same cell group. I just don’t know how to face them, in cell n church. i know i should forgive n move on myself, but every time i thought i’ve moved on, i will end up crying again. i know my experience may not be so bad…but i think all broken hearts feels the same…painful, no matter how it was broken.

  25. Jerry

    Ok so first off, what you guys are doing on this site is absolutely incredible and God bless you all. So i met a girl in 2008 and we started dating in february and i wasn’t a christian but she brought me to church and in july of 08 i accpeted christ as my personal lord and savior. me and my girlfriend got baptized together in august of 08 and all seemed well but we slowly fell into temptation with each other and made a lot of physical mistakes because we weren’t married. We would go a long time being good then wed give in again. this went on for a while til about july of 2009, she thought that i liked another girl and i assured her that i didnt because i didnt but she was really upset and we got in a crazy fight and i prayed to God that if i should stay with her that i would fight for it but if i shoudnt then please tell me cus i cant do this anymore, and as soon as i stopped praying i felt a voice in my head say no.. it freaked me out and i told her and i decided to pray about it for a month. that whole month just wasnt the same. on july 31 09, i was with a few friends and we had a really cool experience where God spoke to us and God led me to a bible verse in Numbers that said for i have told you but you wouldnt listen…. so i decided to be obedient and i broke up with my girlfriend the next day. it has now been about a year since we broke up and i have been off and on at being over her. but i just got home today and all my thoughts about missing her stormed back and i have been fine before now since like may. I am honestly losing hope that i’ll ever be over her. i’ve cried so many times, prayed to God some of my most honest, and brutal prayers, and talked to friends. they’ve all helped and its gotten better ya but its mostly because i just push the pain deep inside. i dont know how to deal with it and i dont know anyone who can help me. I feel that this girl was the one and i left her. i gave up the girl of my dreams and now im paying the price and shes dating someone else. If anyone has anything that they think can help me that would just be beyond amazing. or anyone who has gone through something similar who can just tell me to hold on that it gets better. i need some reassurance

  26. Evon

    Hey Cookie and Jerry…hang in there.

    I don’t have an answer for either one of you, but it has been several months since my situation has passed and I am at peace.

    After the initial shock, and several months of crying, I just had to let go. I was living in the past. God gave us the gift of life, so why waste it?

    I have since learned how to forgive, and I don’t know what the future holds, but I had to stop living with the guilt and pain of what I could have done.

    Jesus forgives us, so we have to forgive ourselves and remain faithful servants to Him. God is with you both. NEVER LEAVE JESUS.

  27. RatherBeAlone

    I dont know whether to call him an ex or a spawn of satan but I fell so deeply in love with him…so much so that I would walk to his house late at night to give him money for work and I wasnt even working. Its hard for me to even write about all the heartless things he has done and what he has put me through. Whats so sad is that he keeps knocking on my door, he keeps calling me and texting me how much he loves me and I keep believeing him because I so desperatley want him to love me. Today I changed my house number and my cell phone number and decided if he ever knock my door again I will call the cops. I am in so much pain that I am running a high fever and have a terrible headache. I cried my self to sleep and have stayed in bed for two days. He has never and will never apologize for all the pain he has caused me and I am afriad to ever love again….because all he did was use the love I have for him against me….I am so sad, and I need help and prayer…I need God to forgive me and help overcome this unbearable pain in my heart….

  28. jennifer

    i need prayers. please. i can’t imagine He wants to hear about my broken heart. it is entirely my own fault. please someone ask Him to heal me.

  29. Tracy Dyer

    Hello dear sisters. I too am healing from a broken heart following a five year marriage that popped on the blink of an eye and left me gasping for air. I’ve started a support group on facebook for alll of us women whom have been shaken to the core by the words ‘I don’t love you any more’ Please feel free to join in, all are welcome. Share, laugh, cry, pray, and be prayed for. You are loved here. Just log onto facebook and search Porcelain Heart or Porcelain Heart Ministry. Also please feel free to read my blog; the story of my journey from grief to growth. http://www.porcelainheartnotes.blogspot.com

    Christ has a purpose for all of us. Share your purpose with me, won’t you? I look forward to seeing you soon, Tracy, Porcelain Heart Ministry.

  30. hope

    Hello All,
    I don’t know if this correct for me to write here I’ve never have done this but I didn’t know what or how to cope this. I not sure if I’m making myself a fool out of myself writing on the page. It’s hard to explain when someone decide to make a quite after almost seven years. Yes we had our issues but he has an awful angry that I’m don’t know why or to understand it. We had been off again relationship once again that has been unstable since the beginning, which was almost years ago. Even though I only had my heart and eyes for him, I am truly faithful to us and respect our relationship all this long years I know him. He has never moved on and had any other special person in his life. I accepted his life style and his job of being very stressful all I wanted to help him out but he wouldn’t let me. I know his job takes a lot of his time, but I tell him also need to appreciated to people that love him and that he has around him because at the end that all we have, to take every moment of life because as a blink of eyes you can lose it. He walked out on me so many times! We exchange words about why our relationship didn’t work out. But I always need to reach to him since you won’t ever communicated or exchanges much and leave things hanging, undone or finish. But his actions caused me to blow up at times. But what’s heartbreaking about is that he promised me this last time around that you would never walk out on me again and that you would stick by my side and we would get through anything because you wanted to spend the a better happy life with me and you wasn’t willing to lose me again. He let me down and gave up on us. Why feel the need to walk out on me again and not want to fix this. Isn’t fed up? If so, why does keep coming in and out of my life and back for more? Obviously he’s unhappy. Why does he feel you can come and go as you please? I am trying to take an advice to forgive him. I am trying to tell myself that he gave his best and now it’s time to move on. But I can’t seem to do that because I don’t feel like he gave it all his best. I love him dearly … But all of those years together may mean different things to me, than to him probably. The more personal, the more intimate things are, the deeper the pain, the deeper the argument. Relationships with more feeling mean arguments which hurt more. If you understand me, and are in my shoes, you would be in extraordinary pain, but you would also understand that there is hope. Hope is what you make of it, hope is not individual. I do not believe a lot of good from what I describe, but I do believe you should not give up hope. You place your hope in one person, and that one of them should be us. As I look more into it I’ve keep having faith he would change to a better man for me… Having less angry I don’t know why always talk to me on the worst and still I had some faith he will do well, that what my love I had for him. I only did was to love him more and want to share everything with him and I never had enough of us. I thought love is suppose be that way. I admired him and spoke well highly to family and friends and can say proud to say I was involved in a relationship with him. They ask why love this guy? He just a family guy who doesn’t have a lazy bones when it come to hard working. He just makes my heart sing, that I’m happy. We have struggles but we still standing strong.” But this all worthless to him now… His eyes and ear didn’t let him see that. He says it’s not the end of the world when we split but to me gosh it almost feels like my little world is split. When I frighten this far, cried, restless days, loved, talk endless calls with him to keep us and have an image of what kind of future we could have if we both put our two senses and love I just smile. Opened my eyes and saw us there, what a great feeling. I got many unknowns questions?? Why did he let me love him this far and now decide you’re done not just with the relationship but with me? Was my love I had for him was it so wrong? How do you know when the love you first shared is no longer burning deep within for him? I mean do you just figure it out, does it just hit you one day or does it take some sort of event to slap you in the face before you realize it? And if you do know, how do you just walk away? Can you tell me please? I want a relationship, I know what I want. I think he the opposite, since not nearly mature enough mentally to deal with because only cause him angry, negative attitude and walks way without dealing with it not bothering to know what you have cause or will cause to others. He has a person who thinks the world of him and decides to reject all they have for him. “They say he doesn’t love me enough, people don’t take many breaks from an individual relationship specially a one that only have a few quality times be with each other and let go like that.” Not sure why did he let me believe that he did love me all this time as often I ask him. He’s being a coward towards me off not facing me. Nothing makes sense I feel more like he just can’t commit and have responsibility as a relationship partner in my opinions. Or he just doesn’t love and these ways say no more I looking for another new person. How can all this memory, years we know each other close that book like nothing was written on it. Wish I didn’t have feeling not feel the hurting part and to be simply and erase. Is this a something I should say I need to let go or keeping fighting? Or isn’t his angry doesn’t let him think clear, how do I know it’s fair for my heart to wait or hope he change is mind. I’m very lost and emotionally hurt. Neither I’m not ready to end it but, I know were both hurting and neither knows how to stop the pain or fix a disagreement from blowing out of control. I feel hurtful while we are in bad terms but I’m cant suffer anymore it feels my heart is constantly ripped out too. We were such a on and off couple I know we look like the biggest failures and I don’t want it to end like that. He made this decision on his own. He acting like he doesnt care and the less he knows about me the better he is. Feels like I failed again! I gave it all I did my part to tell that he’s is the love of life and I stood by on the good and worst time and he just gave up on us. I did want I could do get give us a chance… but when the other doesn’t want no more what can I do. It is going to be very gray days for me… Loneliness will fall on me at time but I got to figure out to save myself out of that. Please send prayers my way…

    Thank you all for taking time to read my story and any suggestions are welcome.

  31. jordan

    i’ve been dating this girl in my school for a month. and during the holidays, when we’re in a vacation. she broke up with me.she said that she feels like she’s treating me more like a brother.and she wants a clean break. tho, she did mention that she still wants us to be really good friends. but ever since we came back from our vacation. i couldnt help but to keep thinking of her. and it hurts really bad. i cant eat or sleep properly . and i dream of her every single night. and i’m not someone who cry but it hurt so bad and i feel so helpless that the only way to feel better is to cry it all out. i’ve been reaching out to god, asking for his direction and asking him to bless me so i’ll feel better about it. 2 weeks have passed. and i still continue to feel the pain. my ex wouldnt even look at me anymore or even talk to me and it hurts really bad. it’s really funny how we used to have the world to talk about and we’re so comfortable together and now we cant even say a word to one another. tho i really wanna move on and just look forward to someone who appreciates me. but deep inside. i still really want her back. cause she was everything i hoped and prayed for before i got to know her. someone please tell me what to do.

  32. Zane

    hey all, i dont know how to begin this or what to do so here we go. I am a freshman in college and had been dating my girlfriend the summer leading up to this semester. Within two weeks of arriving in college, my girlfriend broke it off. It totally blindsided me and i honestly had no idea it was coming. I feel pathetic considering that we were only together for a few months, but that doesn’t stop the pain. She was my first girlfriend so i shared alot of my firsts with her. She owns my first kiss, which i had previously planned to hold onto for my wife. There is not a minute that goes by that i dont think of her. I go to bed, wake up, and spend my entire day thinking of her. I feel like i am in a nightmare that i cant seem to get out of. I really like her and wanted to pursue our relationship in college. She possesses all of the attributes that i would want in my wife and wanted to see how far we could go. I know that there are “other fish in the pond” but all the clishes that people say dont help. All i wish is that i can be back together with her, but i know that God is ultimately in control of those things. I constantly think how she is probably with other guys and the pain that causes is so intense that i want to throw up. I just need some help and encouragement to get me through this awful time in my short life so far.

  33. Candice

    Dear Friends,

    After reading so many broken heart stories, I shouldn’t feel so bad any longer feeling sorry for myself and thinking that God has deserted me by not answering my prayer for a husband.

    I have been single for 14 years now, I just could not get over the break up with my ex. We were together for 3 years and after our break up he started seeing my best friend, which was even harder for me to cope with. I left home and travelled abroad for 2 years, not that helped much, because when I returned home, the pain was still there and I still continued to hear about my ex and my ex-best friend. They were together for 3 years and then also broke up. Now they are happily married to other people, my ex married a complete stranger, someone he met in another city and has been married for 3 years now and has 1 child. Today I finally saw his wife, I think the Lord knew it was time for me to see them together so that I could stop praying and fantasising that we would end up together again. I now pray that the Lord will bring my future husband into my path, because I really long to have a loving relationship again, and spend the rest of my days on this earth with a man who loves me and also wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Thank you for allowing us to speak about our broken hearts. It’s comforting to know I am not alone and GOD loves all of us with an unconditional love.

  34. Faith

    Hi guys I truly believe that God has led me to this website, reading some of the stories here made me feel that I’m not alone. I’ve broke up with my ex one year and five months ago, yet the pain is still the same as if we just broke up yesterday. I still care and deeply love him. I was with him for four years, he was my first love, the only guy I’ve ever been with. We both accepted Christ but I guess you can say I was more mature spiritually. The time we were together was the happiest times of my life, I honestly thought he was the one. We both went to church together, we attended youth together, we were both active in church. But then we also were sinning, and both fell into temptation. Just like many of you guys story, there were times that we stop what we were doing, but then we always end up falling into the trap, and this went on all through out our relationship. Then one day, at the toughest times of my life, where everything was going wrong, where I needed him the most, he decided to leave me, his excuse was he wanted me to go back to God, that that was the only way he could think of that we both can stop was if we broke up. I was extremely hurt by that, I felt that he abounded me, he gave up on us, I wanted to work it out, my pastor even offer to counsel us, but he refused. So that whole time, I felt that he just used that as an excuse, as an escape goat, because he didn’t want to tell me that he fell out of love for me. He said he wanted us to stay friends, but that didn’t work out b/c how can u be friends with someone u don’t see as a friend? So, I decided to stop trying to communicate with him. We haven’t talked for 5 months now, and just recently I emailed him apologizing for how I reacted to the whole break up. It doesn’t seem like I was all that important to him, b/c he just left me, I was extremely hurt and until now is still hurting b/c i felt so unappreciated by him when I gave him my best during those four years. Now I think he is happy with someone else, he is happy with his life with out me, completely move on, with new friends and I’m here stuck, still hurting, still trying to forget him. I asked God so many times to take the pain away, to remove the love for him, but it just doesn’t seem to go away. Pls pray for me that I will one day receive the complete healing and my heart will be restore once again.

  35. Christine

    Hi Faith,

    Thank you for sharing.

    I’m sorry that you’re hurting the way you are.

    I know how you feel, I had a boyfriend who broke my heart and then asked me to be friends. I also had to stop talking to him.

    Your heart will heal, it will take a little time, and a lot of God. God knows exactly what you’re going though, so talk to Him about how you feel as often as you can. He will take away the pain you have now, and when He does (even though it’s hard to see right now) you’ll look back and see how much you’ve learned about yourself and God.

    We’ll be praying for you that your heart will be completely healed, that it will be strong and ready to love again.

  36. Lynette Smith

    It’s 2:12 am and I am up reading your site for advice on mending my broken heart. I was dating a pastor for about 4 1/2 months. He said he was pursuing me for marriage and our relationship was fulfilling mentally, emotionally, spiritually etc. I had never met anyone like him and fell in love with him. Near the end of the 4 1/2 months, I broke off the relationship because I found out about another woman. He denied his interest initially and said his visits to relationship with her was only tied to his ministering at her church. Later he admitted that he was pursuing us both. I broke it off immediately, but spoke to him a month later when he criticized my involvment in the singles ministry and a fast I decided to take. It hurt me that he was in the ministry and so critical of my walk. I felt wounded but assured that I had made the right decision to end the relationship and block all contact. Today, was the heartbreaker, I found out that just 3 weeks shy of our disconnect, he is now married to the female pastor and has moved in to live with her. He has also been installed as the head pastor of her church. It’s disturbing that people can lie and cheat and just move on with their lives as if you never existed. I know my identity in Christ and how much I am loved but I have to say my flesh is hurting…my heart is broken and I want to put up a wall as high as the sky to make sure this never happens again…I was kind and good to this man and he betrayed me, and worse feels absolutely no remorse…God please heal my heart and mind…any advise or words of encouragement are appreciated…I am struggling tonight and my heart is heavy

  37. rhonda

    Ladies i can relate to your pain , I have been i a relationship with this man for about 5 years thout he was differenth it all started out lovely furtherv into it i started noticing different things he call a female every single day i asked him about it claim it was nothing ok nothing i am fed up with all the lies sick of it b/c i don’t have time for all the drama so i said enough is enough , i am not going to die over the break up actually i thank god for it ,so ladies keep the faih i know i am God bless

  38. Jackie Raab

    We were “together” for almsot 2 years. In my whole life no guy had ever liked me, but he was crazy enough too. We really wanted to date but we couldnt because his parents wouldnt let us, he wasnt alowed to date untill junior year and we had liked each other and wanted to date freshman and sophomore year, i fell in love with him. and so the summer comming into our sophmore year we were great and everything and at our church camp he met this girl and started hanging out with her alot. after camp he told me he realized God wasnt calling him to pursue a relationship with me. and that he didnt feel God in our relationship. he then stoped liking me. and said because he knew God wasnt in this that it made our relationship be for wrong intentions and knowing that it wasnt hard to leave. he then started really liking this other girl hed barley known for a week and after junior year started and he was alowed to date he started dating her. and she was one of my good freinds too. i and hurting so much and have a broken heart and i dont know what to do,

  39. Gucci

    Lynette Smith what the Pastor did to you was not right, but God is just and faithful and stands for what is right, Jesus is coming back for a Church without compromise without blemish and wrinkles and the pastor who did this will have to answer for what he did, he will stand before God and give an account of his life and his works what will he answer? you and all will witness this and he will face the punishment, he will reap what he sows, I do pray that he is sorry for what he has done and comes to repentence but even if he does i believe that he will reap what he sows on earth even if he goes to heaven i know full well of this…

    In the past I used to be very bad and would sleep with many men treat them badly as though they meant nothing to me, i would dismis them as though they were dirt, although i came to realise what i did was wrong and repented came back to christ I still went through very hard times because of the choices I made.

    I met this wonderful man and he was perfect to me I actually believed he was the one and then found out he was cheating, and it nearly killed me I was heartbroken but you reap what you sow right? and i sure did, now i just thank God that he has forgiven me and saved me from hell but we do get back what we give to others.

    The reason it takes ages to get over someone especially if you have sex before marriage is because you create a soul tie meaning that you and that person became one all the days of your life, you have to ask god to break it because even if your mind has got over him when you see him you will be pulled torwards each other…

    This is why many men cheat on women they actually love its because they have many soul ties and cant help but go back to the person…

  40. joe

    Hey, I posted on here a couple months ago about a girl who was 18 and going into college and gave up on me mostly because of that reason (i’m 21, and gonna graduate in a year). I first want to say thank you so much for the prayers. We only dated 2 months, but for some reason i was in love with her from the day we started dating (i never told her, i was wanting to give it a lot more time so I wouldn’t freak her out). I should also state that I don’t date much, I just wait patiently for the next girl who will take my mind off the last, that’s when I know shes a good one. I’m sort of against rebounds, it usually ends up hurting someone else. I told you about how she kept a lot of the relationship alive in terms of texting, talking, sitting together at church, and she even wanted to hang out. She obviously wanted me in her life, and I wasn’t stupid enough to think I could get her back. We eventually went out for pizza together when she told me about another guy she was interested in as if it was just regular conversation (she didn’t end up with this guy). That hurt, although I said nothing at first. I talked to a female friend of mine who was very encouraging and told me I was too good to be dragged along like that. I then talked to my 39 year old, married with 5 children sister who told me that my ex really wanted my presence, just not my intimacy, and both said that I needed to tell her how I felt, and that my ex would respect that and things would get better. I did just that, I wrote my ex a letter explaining how much I still cared for her, missed her, and liked her, but I also told her how talking about other guys around me hurt me, and how I was incredibly confused on the status of our relationship and it hurts. After a week of no communication, she finally texted me wanting to meet up and talk. I expected her to tell me that we shouldn’t speak anymore, and I was obviously (knowing it was unrealistic and not expecting it) hoping she would somehow take me back. The first thing she told me was that she thought i was so great but she just didn’t have those feelings for me and there were tears in her eyes. I proceeded to ask her her real reasons for breaking up with me and she basically told me I was too good for her and I deserved better, and that my age and maturity was disheartening to her because she felt I have experienced so much more than her as if college is actually this wonderfully liberating time of life. I proceeded to tell her that as honestly as I could that she was the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met just to get it off my chest and she then said I was the nicest person she’s ever met and that I was adorable. We then just laughed and talked till I dropped her back off at her dorm. Essentially nothing happened during the talk, she basically said she loved my friendship even though she knows I could never see her just that way even though I love her friendship too. 2 weeks later i saw on facebook she had a new boyfriend, and a few weeks have passed since then and it is killing me to think about. She hasn’t been to church at all since we talked, and she was telling me how her college friends really don’t go to church because they party pretty late on Saturdays. Not only is thinking about her new guy really hurting, I’m also starting to think college life is keeping her from her God life, and I really care about her and want her to improve in her faith. She goes to one of those tiny colleges with a wet campus where everyone is greek & all they do is drink and party and i know she is very involved in it, even though I know it’s empty, because I have been around it for 3 and 1/2 years, and even admittedly taken part a sometimes. I hate this, I met her on a mission trip and things were just incredible, and we basically committed ourselves to trying our best to make it a work about a month into our relationship. My letter and honesty has only lead to more hurt for me, and she seems to be having the time of her life with a new good looking guy. Why can’t I be happy she is happy? I read 1 Corinthians 13 everyday to remind me of what love is, and not be be jealous and be patient. I pray daily for contentment, patience, a spouse, to get over her and also for my ex’s safety. I love her so much and have a desire to protect and care for her, but at the same time I want nothing more than to be over her so I can find someone new. She was my first girlfriend in 3 years, and even after treating her great, it still blew up in my face. I hate everything so far that has become of this. I promise I do put all my hope in Jesus, but I am having the hardest time getting over this girl. I’ve never had to totally cut off communication with someone I cared so much about, but I feel like that is naturally what is happening (we have talked briefly twice since our talk). I know I will see her again, and I don’t know what to do when I do. I need prayers bad. I hate losing this relationship, she was so amazing, please pray that I will keep my hope in Jesus, an not in our now almost non-existent relationship. It takes me so long to get over girls, I don’t know why I am this way. It hurts, and I feel like it holds me back.

    I’m sorry I ramble so much.

  41. Shanon

    Faith-

    I have such a similar story. My ex boyfriend and I were dating for 2 1/2 years and when we first started dating we dicussed having a Christian relationship. We avoided temptation on numerous occasions however fell into temptation, just as you and your ex did. Once you fall it is hard to stop. Instead of sitting down face to face and having a discussion about it he handled everything on the phone.

    My ex and I had a long distance relationship and he was planning on moving to my state yesterday. He broke up with me last Sunday saying we did not see eye to eye on things anymore and the spark and passion were gone. He made up his mind that once he moved into the same state our relationship needed to totally change. No sleep overs, no taking naps together, no cuddling. I took it as an insult to me, as I should not have. He wanted me to agree with him immediately and gave me no time to process how our relationship was going from moving forward to moving 10 steps back. He was questioning my comittment to having a Christian relationship. I feel sometimes it is so easy to point fingers at one person instead of digging in your heart and seeing how you need to handle a situation and change for the better. I felt like he was pointing fingers at me.

    I have lived my life the way the Lord would want me to however I am quiet in my faith. I feel guilty, like I have done something wrong. He was not willing to work anything out. He just gave up on us.. is that the way someone walking with the Lord would handle a situation? I am not sure.

    My heart is broken. I continue to pray and as God to heal my broken heart.. I want to be whole again.

  42. Alison

    I just wanted to come back again to say thanks for anyone who has prayed for me. I last posted in Aug 09 and was three months pregnant and had just escaped from a toxic relationship abroad. My heart has a lot more peace, time has helped and God has started the healing process. My beautiful baby daughter is 9 months old and is the absolute love of my life. I can’t say that my heart is 100% healed yet and for sure life as a single mother is hard, but I can say that God has got me in His hand and He is giving me the strength that I need. He will do the same for you. I still haven’t been able to show my face back at church, but I’m still praying about it and asking God to help me to face those Christians that I knew before. They will be shocked to see me now as a single mother and some may judge, who knows, but I ask for the strength to face it nevertheless. God bless everyone who is hurting and I pray that you will see the light at the end of your tunnel very soon.

  43. lydia

    I’ve had a very troubled year, when I 16 I met a guy, before this I had no experience what so ever with any guy and this guy made me feel special and I was niave he told me everything I wanted to hear, I fell for everything he said we met through a mutual friends friend, at the time I had a low confidence and with his influence we had sex not long after he told me he never cared he just wanted that from me I felt foolish and became very saddened by this, I did not speak to guys for quite some time and made another bad choice and was put in a situation where I got rapped,I was heart broken…I found Christ through this process took me time. And yrs passed and found a Godly man who prayed with me and he helped me heal my heart, then somehow it ended things changed and he didn’t feel the same way he once did.I was devasated.It took me a while but I eventualy believed to be over him.As I grew I met a few Guys on the way and no one ever topped him of how I felt the joy when I was with him.I then talked to a guy of a different faith went on a wrong path and felt like I lost God.I ended up seeing another guy and during the time my mom became ill and passed the guy was not supportive and became very mean during that time I found out my first love the one who brought me joy at one point I discovered he was married another devestation…I am now alone and thinking of all the losts that have broken my heart that it hurts so much I cannot sleep what can I do to mend this brokenness I pray and pray to overcome the loss of a mother,the need to accept the past and move on what can I do?

  44. yemi

    I need prayers and I would appreciate letters of encouragement from any child of God. I discovered this site accidentally and I now know that am not alone. My ex got married on Saturday the 16th jan 2011, he broke up with me on the 31st of dec 2010 after 3yrs.

  45. JoAnn

    Good morning:
    It is with saddness that I make this post. This morning I found out that my friend was cheating on me. I gave this man my heart, my love, and all of me only to be betrayed. My heart is aching and I feel numb. I have had so many bad relationships and I really tought he was different. Please pray for my strength and that I can move on with my pride and dignity….

  46. Maria

    My boyfriend of 10 years left me 5 months ago,I am so heartbroken,he is 50 and I am 40,I helped him for years when he was in and out of jobs and when his house needed to be repaired and when he didn’t have money to feed his son,he never introduced me to his family and friends,he used to tell me he didn’t have any,I feel so used and stupid to have trusted him.
    I am a 3rd year student nurse and I do not have the will and strength to finish my course.
    I have two children (from my 1st marriage) who rely on me and I can’t take anymore of the pain I feel inside.
    I truly wish I was dead.
    I can’t stop crying that’s all I seem to do……..I miss him so much.
    Please someone pray for me….I feel so lost and lonely,please someone help me stop the pain.
    Thank you.

  47. XXX

    Hello.i went into a relationship with a man that claimed he was Christian.He played the ‘Christian’ life style so well i didnt have a reason to suspect he wasn’t one.He was subtly possessive and manipulative.I truly loved him and prayed a lot for us.5 months into the relationship,i discovered he had multiple girl freinds and was sleeping with a lot of them.He was not saved at all and was engaging in a lot of ungodly acts.He was my very first love and it really broke my heart to find out that i’d fallen in love with a wolf in sheep’s clothing…Will i ever trust another man? I pray that God will heal my broken heart.

  48. Adam Vagus

    I tried online dating and was recently left heartbroken by a woman who seemed to fit me like a glove. I firmly believed that the Lord was giving me signs that she was the one only to find out that she is now ‘moving on’. I feel so hurt and empty that I rage mentally at her many times throughout the day, claiming that she never loved me or she would of waited on me like she promised she would. She claimed multiple times that she loved me and believed that God made us for each other and now I’m left with this. How can I ever trust a woman to hold my heart ever again? I am at the point that I want to give up entirely on love and be single forever.

  49. H. Mickey Gill

    Hi Adam.

    I feel your pain. Sometimes one has to ask if the so called reward in finding that special someone is worth the risk and aggravation. I don’t see how it is.

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