How To Meet More Single Christians Online

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Some Christian singles are disappointed with online dating because they find it hard to meet other single Christians, especially in their own local area.

However, one of the keys to meeting more singles online is not only to search through Christian personals yourself, but to also maximize your chances of them seeking you out. And just how do you go about doing both well?

Whether you have already become a member of one of the online dating sites most Christians use, or are just beginning to think about it, putting the following simple dating tips into practice will help you get more dating singles knocking down your door.

Tips On How To Meet More Online Singles

Restyle That Dating Profile

Okay, you’ve written a good dating profile, but you’re not meeting singles through it? Check over the following:

• If you don’t have an online dating photo in your profile, you are cheating yourself out of at least 10 times more singles looking at your ad. If you already have one, go over some tips on how to improve your online picture, and think about taking a new shot.

• Since location and age are the two most frequently used variables singles search for, make sure you include these somewhere in your profile.

• Just like a website seeking to have good search engine rankings, you’ll want your profile to be near the top of the search pile of any online dating site you are using. Many sites put the most recently active profiles first, so staying active (responding to all your e-mails, visiting your site often, participating in on-site Christian chatrooms, etc.) is the best way of remaining on top. Another tip that may help keep you on top is updating your profile from time to time. Changing your online screen name at this time would not be a bad idea either. Remember: the first and most seen profiles get the most clicks.

Make Proactive Contacts

Explore your online dating site, and don’t let fears that keep other women and men from meeting someone nice hold you back. Instead, take the following steps:

• Most online sites have chatrooms and in house e-mailing systems. Rub elbows with other singles here and build natural online relationships. It’s not only fun, but who knows where it will lead, right?

• Return all e-mails within 24 hours, as anything more than that is a huge turn off, and you will be perceived as a snob. You should also note that most singles looking to meet other singles move quickly, so you don’t want to miss out.

• Contact up to ten singles (but no more than that because it will be almost impossible to maintain meaningful relationships) and pray as you narrow your interest down to one potential soulmate.

• Don’t freak out if you experience several rejections. It happens to the best of us, and it just means that this is not the person God has in mind for you. Simply move on to the next single you would like to meet and get to know better.

Overall, if you keep Christ at the center of your dating life, learning how to meet more singles online should be fun and stress free. If you are a single Christian (college student, single parent, senior single) seeking to meet other singles, feel free to share your experiences.

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Overcoming Jealousy: Jealous Dating

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Jealousy is one of the most destructive and painful emotions in a dating relationship. A jealous dater can think and do some wacky things he or she would not normally think of doing. That’s why overcoming jealousy when it crops up is so important.

According to a North American survey of marriage counselors, 33% of all couples in marriage counseling have jealousy problems as a root issue. Since jealousy is a universal emotion, I suspect European, Asian, African, South American and Asian couples have similar dealings with jealousy.

Among Christian single couples, jealousy affects both traditional dating and courtship love relationships.

Just what does it mean to be jealous? Webster’s Dictionary rightly defines jealousy as a “fearfulness or wariness of being replaced by a rival.” In a dating or romantic relationship, this means the jealous girlfriend or jealous guy suspects there is a rival for the affection or attention of their partner. The object of the dater’s jealousy could be an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend, (the most frequent complaint) or some other thing such as the person’s children, job or even the family dog. (Don’t laugh about the dog, I once had a Family Court case related to this issue)

The problem with jealousy is that there are several kinds, which can get a little confusing. For example, there is God’s jealousy (Exodus 20:5), which is always holy, just, and desirous of others’ wellbeing. Then there is human jealousy, which often ends with disasterous results. Solomon writes of this kind in Song of Songs: “Jealousy is as cruel as the grave” (Sgs 8:6).

As sinners, we all need to learn how to cope with the human kind of jealousy, whether we experience it in our own hearts, or have others being jealous of us.

Most singles are able to control acting out their jealous impulses. However for others, overcoming jealousy is almost impossible without God’s help. This form of jealousy is pathological, and could lead to the crimes of passion we often read about in the newspapers, or see in movies.

As a single Christian seeking true love in a relationship, it’s very important for your own dating safety to know some “red flag” signs of a pathologically jealous person.

Red Flags of Jealousy Out of Control

• The dating or courtship partner continually accuses the other of being unfaithful when there is no basis for him or her to think this way.
• The jealous person checks phone bills, emails or the cell phone directory to check the partner’s records of communication. They may even forbid their romantic partner to speak with certain members of the opposite sex.
• The jealous dating partner forbids (ie: orders) the other single dater to wear certain things in public.
• The person with jealousy issues may go through the personal belongings of the other party looking for “evidence” of unfaithfulness
• The person with out-of-control jealousy may follow, or have one of their friends follow the other person to make sure they are being faithful. In extreme cases they may even ‘bug” the home using electronic equipment.
• The jealous party will keep tabs on their date by calling them constantly throughout the day. They may give an excuse (“I just missed you”) as to why they are calling so frequently, but in fact are distrustful of them.
• The jealous person may want to be with the other person 24/7, and if the other single resists, there may be a physcial or emotional outburst.
• The jealous dating partner forces the other to give account of all their free time away from them.
• The person with pathological jealousy may threaten to do physical harm to themselves or to their dating partner.

If you are a single Christian in any kind dating relationship where one or more of the above jealousy red flags exist, we recommend:

1. Lovingly communicating to your friend that they need professional help.
2. Consider getting out of the relationship as soon as you can to ensure your own safety. While you may be tempted to stay in an effort to change them, or because the jealous partner may make an emotional promise of change, please don’t give in.

Overcoming Jealousy

Overcoming jealousy will be easier if you understand its origin. Ask yourself: “Do my feelings have a basis in fact (the behavior of the dating partner), or are they coming from my own insecurity?”

If there is actually something the other party is doing that is inciting you to be jealous, have a heart to heart discussion with them. Often, an honest exchange of feelings will solve the problem.

Understand that your jealous behavior may actually drive away your date, the very thing you feared might happen

Admit you have a problem and seek guidance from trusted freinds who know your situation, and/or an understanding Christian counselor or minister.

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Interracial Dating Among Christian Singles

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Interracial dating is no longer taboo in today’s society, as witnessed by the many interracial dating service websites like Christian Mingle and eHarmony Dating Service . However, dating across racial and ethnic lines still remains a controversial subject in some quarters.

While Christian single interracial dating or married couples can live peacefully in most urban societies of the world, they may still be stigmatized in rural areas, and sadly even within the confines of their own church and family.

Therefore, any single Christian thinking about interracial dating should prepare for success by asking themselves the following questions:

Interracial Dating Question Checklist

• What would your family and friends say if you told them you were dating someone from a different race or ethnicity?
• If family and friends react negatively to interracial dating, what would be your response?
• How will you and your interracial date respond to societal disapproval and outright racism? Prejudices could come in forms ranging from staring at a restaurant or church, to ostracizing and outright physical threats.
• Have you and your interracial dating partner openly discussed cultural differences, and their implications if the dating relationship were to culminate in marriage?

Openly and honestly go over the above questions first by yourself, and then together with your interracial dating interest. This exercise will give you an indication of whether or not this interracial dating relationship could be successful.

The longest lasting interracial dating relationships and marriages are those which are able to weave the best of both cultures into unison with each other.

Finally, despite the increase in the number of interracial dating singles, many find it difficult to meet others in their everyday walk of life.This one of the several reasons why online interracial dating sites like eHarmony Dating Service have become popular.

Just in case you were wondering, all of the dating services reviewed on Christian Dating Service PLUS! have large search databases that makes finding an interracial date in your local area an easier task.

If have dated or are dating someone from a different ethnic or cultural background, please consider helping other singles by sharing your experiences with interracial dating.

Related Articles:

Finding a Date in Your Local Area
Online Christian Dating: How to Start
How to Meet More Single Christians Online
Christian Black Singles

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