Many people feel that it is difficult to find Christian singles. However it is actually very easy no matter how old you are or how badly you want a relationship. Christian singles can be found everywhere. If you want to meet Christian singles, then look at church, school, or even online. You wont have to look hard at all to meet Christian singles around your area.
Church is obviously a great place to meet Christian singles. Get into a small group and you will be surprised to see how many Christian singles there actually are. When it comes to churches, Christian singles are very plentiful so if you are desperately searching for Christian singles, then go to church. Not only is church a great place to look, but so is school. If you attend a Christian school or university, then you will find many Christian singles who want relationships as well.
Another great place to meet Christian singles is the internet. Many Christian singles post their profiles on the internet and wait for responses from other Cristian singles. This is actually the best way to go if you are looking for a dating relationship because you can decide which people you are interested in before you even meet them or go on a date. You also have access to many singles all around the country. Of course make sure that the site that you are using is a good site.
The most important thing of all to remember s that God is always in control 100 percent of the time no matter what. God is the one who knows who your spouse is going to be and he also knows when and where you are going to meet that person. So always trust in God and follow him. He will lead you to the right person.
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Posted: Christian Singles Soapbox, All Recent Singles Posts Tags: Christian Singles, Dating advice
The following article is from Eric, a Christian single and one of our Christian Dating Service PLUS! readers addressing why nice Christian single guys have such a hard time finding a nice Christian girl. Respond as you wish:
Though I feel that what I have to say might be taken as offensive, especially to those of you who were given the gift of being a female, I hope to offer it as perhaps a different take on this issue. My prayer is that you will truly hear all of what I have to say first and attack it with a biblical mentality if the need arises to do so. I will try to be brief, but I fear that I cannot.
I whole-heartedly agree with the qualities listed, and I feel that, likewise, a Christian man should look for similar qualities in a girl, though in different degrees and perhaps with different emphasis. However, this has become a great frustration of mine. A little bit of background about myself first perhaps would help. I am 24 and have only dated one girl ever. However, we dated for about 7 years, and I was months away from proposing when she broke up with me. We remain friends to this day, and I would not classify our breakup as a messy one. Although some would rightfully argue that we were very young for some of those years, I would have to concede that both of us come from solid Christian families, were valedictorians of our high school, and have each always been actively involved in church and various community organizations and activities. I would offer, and I truly believe, that we were both relatively mature for our age. Furthermore, though each of us has hurt the other through the natural course of a relationship, for the most part I would have to say that we very much honored God in that relationship.
During the one and a half years since breaking up, I have learned a tremendous amount about love, relationships, forgiveness, and healing a broken heart. God has used this situation, though at times I had wished He hadn’t, to teach me strength, integrity, and how to more closely rely on Him. I have learned that true love is not about one’s own happiness, as so often our society preaches, but about sacrificing your own wants and desires for the betterment of another. This is not to say that one should become a miserable wreck, serving every want of that other person, while living in a personal misery. Contrarily, I have found that the model of true love, given to us by God Himself, is one of patient forgiveness, calm direction, and at times, confident discipline.
To get to the point: it has been my observation that a large number of Christian women want so badly to find a man embodying the characteristics listed, and yet will find all sorts of reasons to either shy away from any kind of a commitment with such a man, or will allow themselves to be pursued by men who don’t fit such standards.
It will be very hard for me to not seem arrogant to you with only the option to write you my words instead of live them in person, but please try to hear what I am really saying. In reference to the points above: 1. God is my Saviour and I strive to walk closer with Him daily, despite the pain I sometimes must go through 2. I very openly have shared my feelings with those I care deeply for 3. I have a dry sense of humor, but this girl has always said that I was good at making her laugh, for the right reasons, and we always had random acts of goofy entertainment as well as lots of healthy, God-centered romance 4. I have an amazing, well-paying job as an engineer, have very little debt, and have a God-given gift for managing finances 5. This is where I slack! Not really, so much. I played sports throughout high school and intramurals in college, but am not rippling with muscles nor do I look like Matthew McConaughey (unfortunately, right girls?!)
Furthermore, this girl to this day still says she finds me attractive, funny, and looks up to me as a spiritual leader. So my question is: What am I doing wrong?
Honestly, I love this girl so incredibly much. She is far more attractive to me in every single way than any other girl I’ve met, whether that be physically, emotionally, or spiritually. I have not met a girl close to my age who shows more love and a caring heart for others and service to God than this girl. I don’t say that lightly, as I am comparing her to some amazing examples of Godly females from my family, a family that has not experienced divorce. I look chiefly to my mom (who has been married to my dad for almost 30 years) and my grandmother (who is a pastor’s wife and former missionary to Chile, and has been married for 50 years). This girl is probably very similar to many of you reading this, in that she loves to relax, have fun, read a book, laugh with friends, and pursue success in many areas of life (which she does in her career as an accountant). She is known for being such a warm, caring person to so many people. That comes not just from me, as indeed I have already given away my bias since I love her, but because a large number of Christian and non-Christian guys pursue her.
I am not so much looking for guidance or advice for my situation, as I have only to continue to pray and seek God’s will daily in my own life. Because of God’s love for me, I have gained an enormous amount of confidence in who I am, and I hope that that is conveyed in this “book” I’m writing (it’s getting to be tremendously long – I’m sorry). My hope is that you don’t write me off as cocky, but listen to what I’m about to say, as I’m trying to wrap this up.
My main prayer and hope in writing this is that many of you Christian girls will hear me when I say that Christian guys, and guys in general, have in large part not measured up to the kind of men you are looking for and need. Frankly, most guys, including myself, have a large tendency to be what you might and probably have called jerks. I would certainly venture my opinion that, in general, there are far more girls with a Christ-centered mentality and a gentle spirit than there are guys with the same. Consequently, many women are hurt, broken-hearted, and want to give up, and they often do, settling for guys they know they don’t want, but are trying anything to get rid of the pain of loneliness. Believe me, I VERY MUCH understand the pain of loneliness. (I failed to mention that this past year, I went to 23 weddings, 8 of which I was in – all close friends. I no longer have a single friend, they’re all married. I know what loneliness feels like - I so badly want to be married!)
HOWEVER it has become quite frustrating to me to find so many good, Christian men – guys with character in all the right places, continue to be rejected or passed over by Christian women who claim to be looking for the very qualities that these men possess, those embodied by the above list. I have seen time after time, guys I have met through various church-related and other functions try so hard to rid their own feeling of loneliness and resentment due to years of pain, only to find a Christian girl, even go on a few dates with her, only to find that she suddenly won’t respond, or won’t offer any sort of reason why she’s not interested or unwilling to give effort back. All the while, I hear countless places and see countless sites such as this one that tell me how there are so many girls looking for that man of Godly character.
I sincerely hope that I don’t cause offense, rather that I help each of you, whether you are a Christian girl or a Christian guy, or even not a Christian, to examine your own life and make sure that you are truly walking with a God who loves us, the same God who, in the human form as Jesus freely loved even the weirdest and outcast of society. Or perhaps to put it in perspective, Jesus, along with His and our heavenly Father, loved(s) even those people who perhaps aren’t as outgoing, or some might say “confident”, as those around them. Yet they still might have a truly wonderful heart if only one were willing to get past that.
Wow this was long! But I hope that it provides some in-depth thought and discussion, and perhaps even some self-reflection.
In Christ.
Eric
Posted: Christian Singles Soapbox, All Recent Singles Posts Tags: none
Know anybody who may need sex addicts anonymous? Fact of the matter is if we believe what George Barna writes about the sexual practices of Christians, there are probably many sex addicts in the church who could use a good sex addicts anonymous small group. . For crying out loud, a few years back Focus on the Family estimated that 25% of Christian ministers were sex addicts, addicted to stuff like internet porn and masturbation. Many of these folks have suffered in much pain, shame and guilt, feeling they had no where to dump the burdens of their hearts.
Sex Addicts and Christian Singles
The great thing about have a Christian singles site is that many can share their deepest sex secrets without worrying that they will be scorned. It’s a sad and despicable thing that most churches don’t provide this kind of environment, but just sweep the topic of sex addicts under the rug, making believe the problem is not even in existence. This behavior only encourages singles to hide their own desperate state instead of seeking help in a sex addicts anonymous program.
If we as a church really want to shine for Jesus, we need to be transparent to the world, scars and all. Let it all hang out (no pun intended) and let people see what God’s amazing forgiveness and grace is all about. Having dabbled in pornography myself I am familiar with the vicious cycle of the sex addict: Excitement-Guilt-Despair, but also of the way to victory in this area that is literally eating the heart and soul out of the next generation of single Christians.
Our Christian podcast on sex addicts breaks the mold of what we usually find in most churches and I am thankful for men of God like Pastor Steve Nicholson, of the Vineyard Christian Church of Evanston Illinois (IL) for his sharing. This message on this difficult topic will be sure to help many singles languishing alone in their pain and loneliness.
Sex Addicts Signs
Are you a sex addict?
Rate yourself on these questions:
* Do you feel like you’ve lost the ability to control your sex life (went over boundary lines you know you should not have, unable to stop sexual acting out even though you confessed them to God and made promises to Him)?
* Is your risky sexual behavior causing your life to be effected negatively in other areas of like health, work, church, present relationships or the law
* Do you obsess or dwell over sexual activity even when you try not to?
* Do you keep secrets about your sex life fom the closest people in your life? Or would you say you are living a double life?
If you answered yes to any of the above you need help for a possible sexual addiction.
Related to sex addicts:
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Posted: Christian Dating Podcasts, Christian Singles Soapbox, All Recent Singles Posts Tags: none
Into Russian dating? Looking for the Christian singles of your dreams in Russia or Ukraine? There are a number of Russian dating sites out there that Christians may be interested in, including SeekingChristian.com and Anastasia.com
Anastasia.com and Adam-i-Eva.com. These particular Russian dating sites advertise all around the world, even appearing in Russian mail order bride magazines.
Russian Dating Site Reviews
There are a number of fake Russian dating sites out there but the above listed ones at least appear on the level. They have real profiles and personal info one can observe when looking for Russian girls or guy dating and marriage. The costs are not outrageous either.
Overall, if I have any negative comments about the Russian dating sites is that the search databases are not as large as other international Christian dating services like Christian Mingle or Christian Cupid and is a 2:1 ratio of Russian women to men on the russian sites. I suppose that could be a good thing if you are a guy look for Russian women.
Have you ever attempted to use Russian dating services? Please share your comments and views in order to help others.
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Posted: Christian Singles Soapbox, All Recent Singles Posts Tags: russian dating, russian dating sites
Believe it or not, instead of dating issues the topic of relationship break ups takes up most of the mail we receive at Christian Dating Service Plus! I guess the reason for this is that relationship break ups are one of the most painful experiences to endure, right up there with unrequited love.
The fact is, relationship breakups cause lots of heartbreak, even when we know it wasn’t a healthy relationship and we probably should have dumped it a while back. Why do relationship breakups cause so much pain? It’s simple. Whenever we invest our time, money and heart into someone it turns into major disappointment if a relationship breakup occurs.
Relationship Break Ups cause singles to grieve loss in a number of ways:
- A relationship break up means loss of friendship
- A relationship break up involves loss of a vision of “things that could have been”
- A relationship break up could entail loss of self esteem
Overall, no one should go through the break up of a serious relationship without help.
Posted: Relationship Break Ups, Christian Singles Soapbox, All Recent Singles Posts Tags: relationship break ups
The following article, Sexual Feelings of Christian Single Women, was written by a single Christian woman who is also a mental health professional. The writer thought it important that single Christian men, in their fight against lust and quest for sexual purity in dating relationships, understand how the sexual feelings of Christian single women work:
I just want to say to all the Christian men who think single Christian women don’t think as much about sex as you do - we do. We just romanticize and emotionalize it a bit more. Romance novels are an emotional stimulus that has an end result similar to porn; so do Cosmo and Glamor magazines. This is because emotional and intellectual connection are generally more of what turn women on.
As a woman who was sexually abused in her own home at a very young age, I have struggled a lot with sexual impurity and guilt that my mind fantasizes about my current Christian boyfriend. Long before I met my boyfriend, I went to counseling for years (because of the abuse) and now am a mental health professional. Yet, I know from my professional background that in spite of all my healing, there are just some changes in my brain and my chemistry from childhood that just make me a more sexual person than I otherwise would have been.
I was tired of the guilt and just spoke to my boyfriend about my sexual feelings fantasies and he told me he has similar fantasies. We prayed together that God would help us remain in control of ourselves and our sexual urges because we want to save sex for marriage. We also set up rules for ourselves that would keep us from getting into situations that would give us means and opportunity (because the motive - temptation - is there). Everyone’s different, so details of this are micromanagement, but I think every couple that is dating exclusively (especially Christian couples) should have a sex talk, and share what their insights are as far as setting up fences long before the cliff as not to tip toe until over the edge.
When a Christian single girl learns over time to trust a man that is willing to work with her for the sake of putting Christ first in the relationship (e.g., above sexual feelings and impulses), she is much more free to experience herself and her man as who they fully are, relaxing and knowing that he does not intend to pressure her into sex, either directly or just by exploring her with his hands in ways that tempt her.
For Christian single women, when we deeply connect with a man on other levels (emotional, intellectual, spiritual) we feel a strong need (our own yearning) and obligation (to please) to reciprocate, sexually. Our temptation is to use sex to get more love (remember how much we women romanticize) from a man and validate the love we are already feeling from him. As leaders, Christian men can reassure us of their love, commitment, and devotion that will not fade when we choose not to go all the way during temptation. That is, the world tells we women if we don’t have sex with a man, we’ll lose him to someone else who will, or that we owe men sex in return for pursuing us and sweeping us off our feet. It’s a crock (if the men are decent and worth being with anyway), but some of it sinks in now and then.
A Christian man who puts Christ and participating in Christian service/ministry might see dating as an opportunity to show a woman that he is willing to devote himself to her like Christ did to the church. This perspective might come from knowing that Christ gave to the church more (= to love, devotion, romantic pursuit from a man to a woman) before expecting the church to understand how to receive and give back to Him (= to sexually giving from a woman to a man) and it was all in the context of the deepest of commitments (= to marriage).
God bless all you men who care enough about your relationships with women and with Christ to read this feminine perspective. I hope I have helped you see a little more into what women need and that you can be the best men God intended you to be.
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Posted: Christian Singles Soapbox, All Recent Singles Posts Tags: christian single women
Never heard of a .com single parent? Well meet my friend Sue. She is a .com single parent with two kids in the home, two jobs to pay the bills and no time to relax (let alone date) in the fast paced communication age in which she lives. Sound familiar? Meeting .com single parents’ needs can be daunting considering the sheer number of issues.
Additionally, although U.S. Census estimates claim that 59 percent of kids will live in a single parent home sometime in their childhood, most churches do not or cannot address this great need and ministry opportunity. Please pray for Christian single parents everywhere!
We are in the process of putting together some single parent resources (books or web sites) to share for meeting the needs of .com singles, so if you have anyplease feel free to share them here as we will be listing them in a future article.
Posted: Christian Singles Soapbox, All Recent Singles Posts Tags: single parent meeting.com
