Do Not Be Unequally Yoked!

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Do you believe in the saying, “Do not be unequally yoked?”  The following is the story of a single Christian teenager who is struggling with the Scriptures and being unequally yoked:

I broke up with my boyfriend who is a unbeliever and I’m trying to tell myself that I did the right thing, but honestly I still have hope for our relationship.  I’m having a hard time to see that it can’t work out.

In 2 Corinthians 6:14-16, it says not to mix with things that are wicked and that a believer and unbeliever has nothing in common, but my ex-boyfriend is not wicked. He happens to have very high morals, and he does not worship idols. We have many things in common and he is very open-minded to my beliefs, but he feels that is no possible way to really prove that miracles exits (due to the focus of our topic, I will not fully discuss why that is). We discuss the Bible and share our deep passion for the truth. In fact, I think being with him makes me closer to  God because I am able to analyze the Bible in such great depth that I have never had done before.

In my church everyone believes that a believer can not be with an unbeliever, and because of this I feel ashamed, and cursed because of it. They say that I’m going for second best in my life, but I believe that we are so compatible and perfect for each other. How are they to judge how our relationship is righteous or wicked?

Before I got into a  dating relationship with him, my church told me to right down everything I wanted in a man, and this unbeliever is everything I wished for, except that he is not Christian. I might have compromised, but it is because I believe that nothing can separate my love for Christ and I could still honor Him.

In my heart, I feel as if we are already married. I believe that my marriage will be sanctified by God through me. (1 Corinthians 7:14) We even discussed about how we would raise our children and he’s perfectly fine about me raising them to be Christians. I feel as if it is certain Christians who believe in this doctrine are the ones who make it bad. Spiritually, they are cursing the relationship. What makes you think that it won’t work out righteously?

Please comment. I’ve notice that there has been no comments on relationship with believers who are dating highly moral people.

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Hope for Divorced Christians

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The following article, “Hope for Divorced Christians”, was written by a divorced Christian guy, who answers the question, “Is there any hope for divorced Christians?”, through the lens of his own personal experience. The view he espouses is not necessarily the view of Christian Singles Blog:

As a divorced, Christian male in his late 40’s I have observed that in Western culture we have lost respect for and a Godly perspective of the institution of Christian marriage itself. I am very disappointed with the direction our culture is going and I think the Apostle Paul saw some of the same problems in his time that we see today.

There are many competing philosophies and attitudes today that make the dating/marriage landscape somewhat harder for singles to navigate. Here is a few of them: its okay to shack up, anti-male attitudes, unfair divorce laws, if it feels good do it promoted by media, social prejudices towards singles, and so on.

Paul, I believe wanted Christians to see that ideally marriage was an institution that God constructed to benefit men and women by being married and loving each other faithfully.

On the other hand, Paul knew that because of sin and social changes and upheaval that men and women who are Christians should always walk very carefully and see if and how marriage can fit into their lives. May God bless you and show you His plan for your life whether single or married!!!

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Codependency Relationships and Christian Singles

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Are you in a codependent  dating relationship? Whether you are a Christian single or not,  codependent relationships can happen to anyone. What qualifies for a codependent relationship?  If you are in a codependent relationship you will feel like  that famous 60’s song line: ” Can’t live, if living is without you…”

In addition to those feelings, another sign of a codependent relationship in dating is that the one or both daters will be seeking constant approval from the other, and feel worthless if they don’t receive it.  Having a codependent relationship means that you feel you cannot live without this person and seek constant approval towards you actions.

Avoiding Codependent Relationships

If you are a single Christian interested in avoiding codependent relationships, try the following:

• Allow for time away from your date in order to develop your own self worth and value.  If you have to spend every waking hour with the other person, you are in a codependent relationship.
• Never stay in a dating relationship out of fear of being alone
• Never stay in a relationship with someone who has struck you…even once. People stay in abusive dating relationships due to codependency.
• Allow your closest friends and family members to objectively examine whether you are with the other person because you “want to” or because you “need to”. If you are in a dating relationship with that other Christian single person because of the latter, this is a codependent dating relationship, and needs to be terminated if you wish to avoid future pain.

Overall, codependent relationship are always  unhealthy, and impede personal and interpersonal growth. However, if you practice the above points, you will go a long way toward avoiding a painful codependent relationships.

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