I think just as sex within the confines of a loving, giving and committed relationship (marriage) provides among other things, comfort, masturbation can also do the same. Not condoning it, but just stating a fact. It can also become perverted and can take on a life of its own if it is given free reign. I think where lust is combined with masturbation there is a sense of guilt for most of us it seems, and yes it is possible to masturbate without lustful thoughts. For me masturbation is something I perceive as a ‘weakness’ in my life but it seems there are times when it seems ok. The interesting thing too is it has also been an opportunity for God to speak to me and help me understand myself and Him better.

Overall, I’m not trying to sound super spiritual but because of His mercy and graciousness He has done exactly that! We are more than sexual beings however and I tend to think that body, mind and spirit are all connected. The Bible says our hearts are deceitfully wicked and to maintain an attitude of openess and honesty in relationship with God is crucial.

My conclusion is this.. I know God knows and understands us better than anyone and I also know that sexual gratification can provide comfort and connection among other things. While God is a gracious and loving God, He is also understanding of our weaknesses and sins. We are weak in ourselves but I believe like all iniquity, sin and idolatry can either lead us further away from Him or closer to Him.

I think if we are humble, honest and open before Him, and willing to exchange some things for better things, He will help us and in the process draw us closer to Him.

Christian Dating Service Home

Christian Debt Consolidation Podcast

In answer to  to all the debt problems singles suffer money worries, our Christian podcast for the week deals with this issue.

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As a Christian single woman, it shouldn’t be all about looking for a date.  I have found that waiting for that dating match can be a tedious and draining experience. My thought here is one needs a break fro time to time in any endeavor. The best way I have found to “recharge my batteries” is to spend time with other Christian ladies on the town having fun. Not only do I have a blast having Christian Ladies Night Out get togethers, it’s also a chance to compare notes and get advice on dating and relationships. Believe me, it’s better than therapy to spend a night out with like minded single Christian ladies.

Since Christian Ladies Night Out has been so beneficial to me, I have put together a few ladies night out ideas for you to share with your friends.

Top 10 Christian Ladies Night Out Ideas

Arts and craft night
Bowling night
Club, country line or belly dancing lessons (hilarious)
Dinner and Movie night
Book club
Art galleries
Shopping outlet parties
Visit a spa  for a massage or mani-pedi
Learn a new recipe night
Help out at a homeless shelter
Tea and talk night at area Panera or Starbucks

Overall, the point of these ladies night out events is to refresh your mind and spirit and get a better perspective as you refocus on finding that dating mate.

Christian Dating Home

What the Bible Says About Dating During a Marriage Separation

Nothing.  That’s right, the Bible has zilch to say about dating during separation. Of course, the Bible has absolutely nothing to say about dating at all because dating is really a 20th Century phenomenon.

The closest Scripture we can find that’s even remotely related to dating while separated occurs in 1 Corinthians 7:10-19: “A wife must not leave her husband. But if she does leave him, let her remain single or else go back to him. And the husband must not leave his wife.”

The above Scripture is pretty clear here that separation is allowed but not desired.  God also appears to teach by implication that if the person who leaves is to remain single, he or she  should not be in a romantic relationship (ie: dating) with any other person other than their spouse. And in the 21st Century, the purpose of Christian dating should expressly be to find a Christian wife or husband, right?

Let’s face it, separation is a sad but sometimes necessary action needed to protect the physical/emotional well being of the person who leaves and/or the children involved. For example, if a husband is physically violent against his wife or kids, the person in this abusive relationship should seek assistance and remove themselves from that dangerous situation.

Putting whatever the Scriptures have to say on the subject aside for a moment, in Family Court we teach there are many other practical reasons and pitfalls why “singles to be” should avoid dating  marital separation. Many of these are similar to those going through the process of dating after divorce, or being a single again person dating with kids.

So where do you stand on the issue? How would you answer the question of “Should dating be allowed during marriage separation?”

Christian Singles Home

Top 5 Christian Singles Complaints

The following Christian Singles complaints
were compiled through a worldwide survey of 1000 singles conducted
by Christian Dating Service Plus:

1. Churches look down on singles, and cater mostly to married people.
2. Difficulty finding  Christian singles who are normal and available in the local area.
3. Nagging relatives who badger, especially at holiday gatherings, why we are still still single.
4. Loneliness gets to be difficult to handle as a single person.
5. Single Parenting is a difficult job.

Do any of the above Christian singles complaints resonate with you?

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Christian Sex Advice Questions

The following are some of the top questions singles have about sex:

1. What about sex before marriage?
2. Is masturbation always wrong?
3. How far is too far?
4. How about oral sex?
5. Is anything wrong for a married couple?

I  hope this Christian singles sex advice podcast is a blessing to you.

Christian Singles Home

This weekend I was talking to a girl who practiced missionary dating with guy, and it worked out famously. The dude become a Christian and the two are now enjoying a blissful marriage, ministering together in a local church. Although I have no real scientific data on missionary dating, I would definitely say that for every missionary dating success story, I have probably heard of 9 others that have failed miserably.

I for one certainly understand and empathize with the reasons single Christians practice missionary dating. Most will say dating an unbeliever or thinking of “unequally yoked” dating because there are simply not enough decent Christian prospects out there, or they are afraid or tired of going through life single and alone. This case is most especially true for singe Christian women due to the dearth of men attending church nowadays.

So, where do we go from here? If missionary dating is not a viable or biblical option, what are the alternatives for finding a dating match in your local area? Our concern for singles dealing with this issue is actaully one of the main reasons we created Christian Dating Service PLUS.

Our advice for those tempted with missionary dating includes the following:

* Understand and redefine your role as you wait on God for a soul-mate
* Increase the pool of potential Christian single prospects by at least trying some of the premier and well known Christian dating site out there today. Here is a good start on understanding how to use christian dating sites.

Overall, missionary dating is a difficualt area, fraught with controversy. However, if you are a Christian, you have a Saviour who promises blessing and a future hope for you…including your dating life.

Want to add your thoughts about missionary dating?

Christian Dating Service Home

Dating this married guy started as him emailing and calling as ‘a dear old friend.’ He would tell me how much he prayed…how much he had changed. I was smitten. I believed in him 100% b/c I was desperate for the attention and the romance. I compromised everything I believed in. My marriage almost ended. Our two children were a mess, as I was in ‘heaven’ with this guy occupying almost every thought (can you say idolatry?). Things started to self destruct when that ‘odd feeling’ in my gut told me that he was a liar (like he used to be).

The date of his impending divorce came and went, and he started to get very snippy and defensive if I even so much as inquired about his wife or his divorce. The more I started to inquire, the more he started to back-track. He ended up totally throwing me under the bus. If my husband would have left me, I would now be living alone…probably without my children. Like one other women said to me, trust your gut…ask the questions…if a guy gets ticked off, then he’s not the one (he’s also probably a liar and/or a narcissist).

If a guy really is Christian, he would not lead you to commit adultery, nor justify why he does it. There is NO justifying it. And if he’s doing it with you, he’ll do it TO you. I found out in my quest for answers that this guy has a problem with pornography, has girlfriends in at least 3 states, and is looking for more (and is STILL married). And yes, his wife knows about me. I doubt their marriage will survive, but that’s up to them (and God).

I know much of this is my own fault. I erroneously thought that somehow I was helping to lead this guy to the Lord, when in fact, he was leading me into the pit of hell. On the other hand, I am so BLESSED that my husband decided to stick in there with me. We are rebuilding our marriage and it is better than ever. For people who say that when the feeling is gone, your marriage is over, I say NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD. That is a lie society has told us.

And for any of you contemplating any kind of relationship of any kind with a married man, I tell you this: RUN!! That is God’s word to “…run from sexual sin.” The reason is b/c it will tear your heart and soul to pieces. Also know that God gives us His Word to protect us, not for some twisted type of control used to keep us from really enjoying life as satan would have us believe. It is not o.k. for you to be friends either. That’s how it all starts….small compromises.

We all know that there are two paths in this world–the one of light and the one of darkness. There is no middle ground. Satan likes to convince us otherwise. Read your Bible people…it’s the best weapon against ‘the great deceiver’. And PRAY PRAY PRAY. Tell the guy to look you up if and when he actually does get a divorce (and I don’t just mean filing the papers). If it’s so ‘inevitable’ and ‘upcoming’, it shouldn’t take long. Even then, I would be extremely cautious. Make sure the guy’s lines (and actions) match up with scripture….that’s the real test.

Finally, what’s so bad being by yourself? Enjoy your “singlehood”. You’re better off that way…and remember to “Seek first His Kingdom, and you will be given the desires of your heart.” That’s actually how I met my husband :). I finally had given up on dating…on finding a man myself. I gave it to God, and took a chance on a very nice man who wasn’t the “charmer” or the “bad boy” I usually dated (and was thinking I was missing out on something later on). But guess what? His heart makes him more and more attractive to me every day, and here is a man who would stay by me through anything….even adultery, and even though it took everything he had to stay. God bless him for that (I know He will!). And praise be to God for delivering me from that horrible, deceitful situation and mindset, and for giving me another chance.

Christian Dating Singles

Honestly, I don’t understand why Black Single Christians would NOT date non-Christians, especially with the low pool of single black Christians in the church today. I also really can’t believe God would say not to date a nonbeliever. I am dating a guy with no religion. He believes in God but that is it. I personally don’t think God would be mad at that.

Black Christian Singles and Missionary Dating

Now some Black Single Christians may say  simply believing in God means nothing compared with  a life dedicated to Christ.  I’ve also had many Christians (both black and white) chastise me saying a non-believer would be a bad influence, and would only be seeking someone to have sex with. My point is since most Christian black singles have sex before marriage anyway, what kind of argument is this?
God says in Psalms 1-10 not to worry about those doing wrong, but for you to do good and he will give you the true desire of your heart. Well basically that’s what he says.  As Christians, we shouldn’t  be worrying about others’ sins,  but to look after our own. God tells us not to judge others.

Overall, as an 18 year old Black Single Christian I feel God wants us to enjoy life, and just love Him. I think he understands the difficult situation single Black christian girls are in when it come to available men to date. He will work his will through our decisions,  as long as we do so with good motives in mind.

Christian Dating Singles

Sex Tips and Tricks Christian Podcast

Without a doubt our Christian podcast of the week from Pastor Tim of Liquid Church is the most straight talkin’ Biblical message on sex and dating that you will ever hear. If you are a single Christian who is a little confused about where to “draw the line” when it comes to your feelings and behavior regarding sex and living godly in this world, the following sex tip and trick will help. If real talk about sex and living out the Christian life is too much information for you to bear, you may want to change the station.

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