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Christian Soulmates

Oasis Church NJ — Sun, 12 Mar 2006 17:25:22 +0000

Christian Soulmates alleges to have over 25,000 Christian Singles, and is supposedly growing by the month. The Christian Soulmates website states their mission is to provide a place where Christian believers can be encouraged, entertained and be able to meet others in a non-threatening, fun environment. So far, so good.
However, after studying the Christian Soulmates.com site for quite a while, we feel the whole dating service is a RIP OFF!. We continue to list Christian Soulmates here only to warn singles not to waste their money.You would be much better off with a real Christian Dating service like Christian Mingle. Here you may be able to.they find a “real” Christian soulmate match,

Or consider some tter with some of the dating services listed below like:

Christian Cafe
Christian Cupid
eHarmony
Perfectmatch

We’ll continue with our dating review for those who like torture.

How Christian Soul Mate Says They Work

Christian Soulmates is a Christian matchmaking service designed to provide an easy way to meet other quality (ie: good marriage material) single Christians. Christian Soulmates claims they do this by asking every user coming onto the dating service to take a “soul mate test questionnaire” that will help prospective Christian soulmates get to know each other.

Once members create their own unique profile, Christian Soulmates uses matching technology that provides members with instantaneous matches based upon their pre-selected dating criteria. That means if you are looking for say, a conservative Baptist, Anglican, Charismatic, Methodist or even saved Roman Catholic, you wont get matched with a ______. Okay, you guys fill in the blank cause I don’t need any more trouble. Anyway, you get the idea?

Throw in other features Christian Soulmate says it offers, like Christian chat rooms, e-mail, photo sharing and browsing, and you would have a pretty good Christian dating site. Too bad Chrsitian Soulmate doesn’t do it for us.

Christian SoulMate Costs

There are several forms of Christian Soulmates membership. A basic Membership at Christian Soulmates is Free, but the upgraded Full Membership offers more search, profile and contact options. The following is a breakdown of the price for a fulll membership at Christian Soulmates:

1 Month…………….$15.95 (Only 49 cents per day)
3 Months……………$34.99 (Only 39 cents per day)
6 Months……………$54.99 (Only 31 cents per day)
1 Year……………….$79.95 (Only 21 cents per day)

Christian Soulmates Kudos and Crowns

None…honestly

Christian Soulmates Pitchforks

Small database compared to other dating services
Poor customer service once they get your money

Do you disagree about Christian Soulmate? If you have checked out Christian Soulmate, please help other Singles by sharing a comment or review about Christian Soul mates.

Go to Christian Mingle NOW for your Soulmate!

Other Top Free Trial Dating Sites Used by Christians:

AmericanSingles
Christian Cafe
EHarmony
PerfectMatch-PerferctMatch.com
SingleC-Single Christian Network
Yahoo Personals
BigChurch
Christian Mingle
Christian Soulmates

Specialty Christian Dating:

Top Black Dating Sites
Senior Dating Sites
Hispanic and Latin Dating
Single Parent Dating

See Our Favorites Matchmaking Sites

Christian Singles Groups:

New York Christian Singles Groups
New Jersey Christian Singles Groups

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Safety Dating Tips for Christian Singles

Oasis Church NJ — Fri, 07 Apr 2006 23:05:38 +0000

So you’ve decided to try Online Christian Personals. Great! Now let’s talk about safety dating tips to keep you from ending up in some whacko’s trunk!

Most online Christian personals, dating sites and Christian chatrooms provide some online safety dating tips, and do their best to ensure members’ privacy and safety while using their particular dating services. However, since none of these Christian dating sites can 100% guarantee that your next date will not be Ted Bundy II, Christian singles need to be proactive when it comes to dating safety. Here are our five top safety dating tips:

Safety Dating Tip 1

The Bible says it’s a wise and safe thing to have many counselors. So seek out several respected Christian friends and family members who would be willing to offer dating tip advice and accountability. These folks should be seen as a dating safety resource only, not as people you let run your life. While all dating decisions should be yours, hearing other opposing views can help you come to a right and godly dating decision.

Safety Dating Tip 2

Don’t be in a such a rush to meet your potential soulmate in person. Take it slow. If the Lord is really leading you in this relationship, there will be plenty of time together. Instead, use your online chatroom or e-mail experiences as a great way to get to know each other better. Ask questions about the other party’s beliefs, interests, jobs and family, always being on guard for inconsistencies.

One of my good friends who recently got engaged after initally meeting through eHarmony waited over six months before meeting his date in person. By that time, the two had already built great emotional and spiritual communication bridges.

Safety Dating Tip 3

Never publish or give out your real full name, address, home telephone number or private e-mail address to someone you just met online. This precaution will go a long way toward precluding any potetial harrassment or stalking. Quite a few Christian dating Services like Christian Cafe, for example, provide private in house e-mail accounts. If the partiuclar Christian matchmaker site doesn’t, simply create a free account with Yahoo or Hotmail and use a nickname or first name only.

Are we being overly cautious with this safety dating tip? Yeah. But your safety and that of your family’s (especially if you are a single parent dating) is more than worth it. Yes, you can be loving and wise simultaneously.

Safety Dating Tip 4

When you do decide to meet your Christian Date, make sure the location is a public place you know is safe. And while you’re at it, consider bringing along a trusted Christian guy or Christian girlfriend to assess the dating safety situation. Yeah, I know this dating tip could dampen the excitement of the initial meeting. But you could also pre-arrange a plan to have your friend split when things appear kosher. If your date has “a problem” with this arrangement, it should send up a red flag to you.

An alternative to the above dating tip is to arrange for a friend to call your cell phone 20 or 30 minutes into your date. If things are going well, great! If your senses tell you this date is not safe to continue, you could use the phone call to cut short the night.

While we’re on the subject of cell phones, you may want to consider purchasing a Global Positioning System (GPS) cell phone, that will be able to track your location wherever you go.

Safety Dating Tip 5

Seek the Lord for discernment and leading. This is wisest safety dating tip of all, even though it is the simplest. Pray for wisdom and guidance, and Jesus will direct you. (Proverbs 3:5+6, James 1:5). If at any time during the dating process you feel uncomfortable deep down in your heart, this could be the Holy Spirit prompting you to move one. Don’t feel embarrassed or worried what the other person may think. Your safety must come first, since no one else can take care of that.

Do you have a safety dating tip to share? Help other singles by sharing them on our site. In future articles we will be addressing more dating tips for Christian guys and girls.

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Hispanic and Latin Dating

Oasis Church NJ — Sun, 14 May 2006 20:40:56 +0000

Online Hispanic dating services are popping up faster than bodegas in Miami. Not surprisingly, many of the Latino singles and Latina singles using Christian Hispanic dating sites like Christian Mingle are professing Christians. According to a recent Barna Research Group survey, Hispanics (40 million strong in the U.S. alone) are one of the most religious people groups as gaged by their desire and commitment to grow closer ties with God.

Although most Hispanic dating singles are Catholic Christians, a large and rapidly growing number of Hispanics identify themselves as Evangelicals. In fact, the fastest growing Christian denominations in North and Latin America are Pentecostals, Baptists and Methodists, all of the evangelical ilk.

Top Hispanic/Latin Dating Services

In light of the above, as a service to Hispanic and Latin Dating Singles everywhere, we have researched and listed the top Hispanic dating sites used by Hispanic women and men around the world. Although not explicitly “Christian dating services”, each listed Hispanic dating service has huge worldwide databases and matching software that allows single Christians to zero in on their potential soulmate with similar values, language and location. All of these matchmaking sites also offer free trial memberships.

With the ongoing U.S. controversy over Hispanic immigration, let me add one last word regarding Hispanic dating services: None of these are exclusive. In other words, if you are a gringo you can use Hispanic dating services without discrimination. The simple fact of the matter is Hispanics and all other people groups tend to like to date people of similiar language, culture and values. The spirit is not one of discrimination, but rather celebration. That’s the primary purpose of Hispanic and Latin Dating Services in a nutshell.

If you have a comment regarding Hispanic dating, feel free to add it here. In the meantime, here are our top Hispanic dating services:

Yahoo! Personals en Espanol con Telemundo
Hispanic and Latin Dating and Personals
Christian Mingle
Christian Cafe
Christian Cupid
eHarmony
Perfectmatch
BrazilCupid.com – Brazilian singles - The best Brazilian dating site to meet single Brazilian women from all over the world.

Interracial Dating and the Christian Church

Reviews of Free Trial Dating Sites Used by Hispanic Dating Christians:

EHarmony
PerfectMatch-PerferctMatch.com
Yahoo Personals
AmericanSingles
Christian Cafe
Christian Mingle
BigChurch
Christian Soulmates
Singlec

Specialty Christian Dating:

Top Black Dating Sites
Senior Dating Sites
Hispanic and Latin Dating
Single Parent Dating

See Our Favorites Matchmaking Sites

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How To Meet More Single Christians Online

Oasis Church NJ — Wed, 16 Aug 2006 04:16:06 +0000

Some Christian singles are disappointed with online dating because they find it hard to meet other single Christians, especially in their own local area.

However, one of the keys to meeting more singles online is not only to search through Christian personals yourself, but to also maximize your chances of them seeking you out. And just how do you go about doing both well?

Whether you have already become a member of one of the online dating sites most Christians use, or are just beginning to think about it, putting the following simple dating tips into practice will help you get more dating singles knocking down your door.

Tips On How To Meet More Online Singles

Restyle That Dating Profile

Okay, you’ve written a good dating profile, but you’re not meeting singles through it? Check over the following:

If you don’t have an online dating photo in your profile, you are cheating yourself out of at least 10 times more singles looking at your ad. If you already have one, go over some tips on how to improve your online picture, and think about taking a new shot.
Since location and age are the two most frequently used variables singles search for, make sure you include these somewhere in your profile.
Just like a website seeking to have good search engine rankings, you’ll want your profile to be near the top of the search pile of any online dating site you are using. Many sites put the most recently active profiles first, so staying active (responding to all your e-mails, visiting your site often, participating in on-site Christian chatrooms, etc.) is the best way of remaining on top. Another tip that may help keep you on top is updating your profile from time to time. Changing your online screen name at this time would not be a bad idea either. Remember: the first and most seen profiles get the most clicks.

Make Proactive Contacts

Explore your online dating site, and don’t let fears that keep other women and men from meeting someone nice hold you back. Instead, take the following steps:

Most online sites have chatrooms and in house e-mailing systems. Rub elbows with other singles here and build natural online relationships. It’s not only fun, but who knows where it will lead, right?
Return all e-mails within 24 hours, as anything more than that is a huge turn off, and you will be perceived as a snob. You should also note that most singles looking to meet other singles move quickly, so you don’t want to miss out.
Contact up to ten singles (but no more than that because it will be almost impossible to maintain meaningful relationships) and pray as you narrow your interest down to one potential soulmate.
Don’t freak out if you experience several rejections. It happens to the best of us, and it just means that this is not the person God has in mind for you. Simply move on to the next single you would like to meet and get to know better.

Overall, if you keep Christ at the center of your dating life, learning how to meet more singles online should be fun and stress free. If you are a single Christian (college student, single parent, senior single) seeking to meet other singles, feel free to share your experiences.

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Overcoming Jealousy: Jealous Dating

Oasis Church NJ — Tue, 22 Aug 2006 02:12:35 +0000

Jealousy is one of the most destructive and painful emotions in a dating relationship. A jealous dater can think and do some wacky things he or she would not normally think of doing. That’s why overcoming jealousy when it crops up is so important.

According to a North American survey of marriage counselors, 33% of all couples in marriage counseling have jealousy problems as a root issue. Since jealousy is a universal emotion, I suspect European, Asian, African, South American and Asian couples have similar dealings with jealousy.

Among Christian single couples, jealousy affects both traditional dating and courtship love relationships.

Just what does it mean to be jealous? Webster’s Dictionary rightly defines jealousy as a “fearfulness or wariness of being replaced by a rival.” In a dating or romantic relationship, this means the jealous girlfriend or jealous guy suspects there is a rival for the affection or attention of their partner. The object of the dater’s jealousy could be an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend, (the most frequent complaint) or some other thing such as the person’s children, job or even the family dog. (Don’t laugh about the dog, I once had a Family Court case related to this issue)

The problem with jealousy is that there are several kinds, which can get a little confusing. For example, there is God’s jealousy (Exodus 20:5), which is always holy, just, and desirous of others’ wellbeing. Then there is human jealousy, which often ends with disasterous results. Solomon writes of this kind in Song of Songs: “Jealousy is as cruel as the grave” (Sgs 8:6).

As sinners, we all need to learn how to cope with the human kind of jealousy, whether we experience it in our own hearts, or have others being jealous of us.

Most singles are able to control acting out their jealous impulses. However for others, overcoming jealousy is almost impossible without God’s help. This form of jealousy is pathological, and could lead to the crimes of passion we often read about in the newspapers, or see in movies.

As a single Christian seeking true love in a relationship, it’s very important for your own dating safety to know some “red flag” signs of a pathologically jealous person.

Red Flags of Jealousy Out of Control

The dating or courtship partner continually accuses the other of being unfaithful when there is no basis for him or her to think this way.
The jealous person checks phone bills, emails or the cell phone directory to check the partner’s records of communication. They may even forbid their romantic partner to speak with certain members of the opposite sex.
The jealous dating partner forbids (ie: orders) the other single dater to wear certain things in public.
The person with jealousy issues may go through the personal belongings of the other party looking for “evidence” of unfaithfulness
The person with out-of-control jealousy may follow, or have one of their friends follow the other person to make sure they are being faithful. In extreme cases they may even ‘bug” the home using electronic equipment.
The jealous party will keep tabs on their date by calling them constantly throughout the day. They may give an excuse (“I just missed you”) as to why they are calling so frequently, but in fact are distrustful of them.
The jealous person may want to be with the other person 24/7, and if the other single resists, there may be a physcial or emotional outburst.
The jealous dating partner forces the other to give account of all their free time away from them.
The person with pathological jealousy may threaten to do physical harm to themselves or to their dating partner.

If you are a single Christian in any kind dating relationship where one or more of the above jealousy red flags exist, we recommend:

Lovingly communicating to your friend that they need professional help.
Consider getting out of the relationship as soon as you can to ensure your own safety. While you may be tempted to stay in an effort to change them, or because the jealous partner may make an emotional promise of change, please don’t give in.

Overcoming Jealousy

Overcoming jealousy will be easier if you understand its origin. Ask yourself: “Do my feelings have a basis in fact (the behavior of the dating partner), or are they coming from my own insecurity?”

If there is actually something the other party is doing that is inciting you to be jealous, have a heart to heart discussion with them. Often, an honest exchange of feelings will solve the problem.

Understand that your jealous behavior may actually drive away your date, the very thing you feared might happen

Admit you have a problem and seek guidance from trusted freinds who know your situation, and/or an understanding Christian counselor or minister.

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Marriage Builder Tips For Healthy Relationships

Oasis Church NJ — Sat, 26 Aug 2006 02:24:34 +0000

As single Christians, knowing marriage builder tips while dating will lay the foundation toward a healthy marriage relationship when you’re ready to make that commitment. Working in Family Court, I’ve seen lots of unhappy and unhealthy marriage relationships that sure could have used marriage builder tips.

Not surprisingly, a University of Wisconsin study revealed that over 90% of our future happiness is related to the kind of mate we choose to date or marry. Therefore, having a healthy marriage relationship means you have a greater chance at enhancing your happiness.

As Christian singles, we know our true joy, which is eternal, remains in the Lord. However, our happiness, based on transient circumstances, can definitely be affected by poor relationship choices. With divorce rates running between 40 to 50% in the USA, Australia, Europe and Asia, many are nodding their heads in agreement.

Most of us pray for healthy marriage relationships. The following marriage builder quick tips point toward that goal.

Marriage Builder Tips for a Healthy Marriage Relationship

Marriage Builder Tip #1: See Dating as a Means to an End

It all begins with dating, but it should not end there. For single Christians at least, the primary goal of dating should be a healthy relationship culminating in marriage. Otherwise, if you’re really serious about keeping yourself sexually pure before the Lord, why even enter a dating or courtship relationship?

Marriage Builder Tip #2: Know What Kind of Person Makes For A Healthy Relationship

Part of finding a person that makes for a healthy relationship, is knowing and avoiding the kind that doesn’t. For example, single Christians dating unbelievers, or good Christian girls who date bad guys would fall into this category.

Unfortunately, most churches don’t teach singles (teens to seniors) how to attract the right woman or man to date or court. In fact, several reasons we started Christian Dating Service PLUS! was not only to provide informative dating articles in this area, but also to show others how they can meet more single Christians online by expanding their search base.

Marriage Builder Tip #3: Know What it Takes to Have a Healthy Relationship

It sounds too simple, but it’s really true. The more one knows the signs of a healthy Christian dating or marriage relationship, the more likely the chance of creating one. Doesn’t that make sense?

Related Articles:

Online Christian Dating Advice on How to Start
Online Christian Dating Sites Christians Use

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Low Self-Esteem in Christian Singles

Oasis Church NJ — Tue, 29 Aug 2006 02:13:59 +0000

Low self-esteem in some Christian singles is keeping them from finding a serious dating relationship. It’s really simple: If you don’t feel real good about yourself, you’re not going to think anyone else will either.

Sadly, problems with low self-esteem can not only effect our dating relationships, but all other areas of our life, including our emotional health. Single men and women with low self-esteem suffer more depression and discouragement, loneliness and anxiety in their lives than other people. These negative emotions feed a vicious cycle of withdrawal that only worsens low self-esteem. This makes me depressed just writing about this stuff!

To make matters worse, it seems many Christians feel confused when talking about self-esteem, somehow thinking it is “unspiritual” or self-centered to feel good about yourself. Of course, nothing could be further from the truth, as long as you understand from whence your strength comes.

Breaking the Chain of Low Self-Esteem

If you are a single Christian suffering from a poor sense of self worth, and are looking for ways to build self-esteem, allowing the truth of the following points to sink into your soul will help put you on the path to recovery:

Know That God Accepts You As You Are

The beginning of healthy self-esteem and emotional well-being is self acceptance. Being able to accept yourself starts with accepting God’s view of your worth as a person, and then gladly receiving what He has to offer.

Do you hate who you look like? You shouldn’t because God said you were fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalms 139)
Do you feel worthless and unlovable? God the Father says He loves you, and finds you so worthwhile that He chose His son to die on your behalf, even while you were far from Him (John 3:16, Romans 5:8).
Do you feel guilty and unclean because of how you have lived your life? God offers complete forgiveness and cleansing from all past wrong.(1John 1:19), and a new beginning in life (2Cor 5:17).

Know That You Belong

Self-esteem suffers when we feel like there is no place we belong. A sense of belonging gives us a feeling that we are needed and wanted. This makes us feel good about ourselves, and loved at the same time..

God made us to experience this feeling of belonging and love through the forming of intimate relationships. The most important relationship you can have is with the Lord. In fact, Jesus’ prayer for His followers was that the same kind of wonderful relationship He had with His Father may be experienced by them too: “That they all may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You; that they also may be one in Us…” (John 17)

If you are a child of God, you belong in His family, and are dearly beloved (Col. 3:12). You are not orphans or paupers, but princes and princesses who will rule as co-heirs with Jesus. If you really believe this stuff, nothing will make you feel better.

Know That You Can Conquer Your Past

Many singles who suffer from low self-esteem have had past experiences (often in childhood) that have given them a tremendous sense of failure. This sense of “being a loser” is so agonizing that they fear taking risks in life. It’s fears like these that can keep women and men single.

However, part of understanding who we are in Christ is realizing that past failures and experiences no longer have a hold on us. We now have the power to conquer our past failures and fears through Him (Romans 8:37, 2 Timothy 1:7). The question that remains is whether or not you choose to change your negative pattern of thinking and acting. That power is all yours through Christ (Phil. 4:13).

If you are a Christian single whose low self-esteem has caused your dating aspirations to suffer, covenant with yourself and the Lord to start seeing yourself through His eyes.

Are you are a single person with something to share about low self-esteem?

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Broken Hearted: How to Mend a Broken Heart

Oasis Church NJ — Thu, 31 Aug 2006 03:48:37 +0000

How to mend a broken heart for singles who are broken hearted?

Almost everyone has had their own “broken heart confession” of a lost relationship. A broken heart is a broken heart, whether that relationship was in a dating context or a marriage. All I can say is it’s one of the most painful things I’ve ever suffered.
While mending a broken heart takes different amounts of time for each person, the following points on how to mend a broken heart will be helpful to all single Christians.

How to Mend a Broken Heart Guide

Talk About Your Broken Heart With Those Who Care

One of the best ways to begin mending a broken heart is to talk about it. Talking about our pain helps us accept the reality of the situation, and guides us along in the healing process and dealing with guilt, if any

As Christian singles, the first person we should go to is the Lord. A beautiful promise is found in Psalms 34:18: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Tell your heavenly Dad where it hurts, and exactly how you feel. Don’t hold back anything because He is there for you, and can take whatever you throw at Him.

Beyond pouring out your broken heart to the Lord, getting involved in a Christian singles group, church fellowship, or support group will give you a safe place to share your painful experiences and receive love and support. Don’t feel that you can heal or mend your broken heart on your own. That’s just stupid pride, and will cause you to take longer to heal. We all need somebody from time to time.

Forgiveness Equals Healing

There is an amazing amount of healing power in being forgiven, or in granting forgiveness to someone who has wronged you. The power of forgiveness began at the cross of Christ, where He forgave us our sins. If you don’t understand what it means to be forgiven by God, please read how you can find peace with Him before continuing.

Forgiveness brings closure and cleansing, which speeds the healing of the broken hearted person. So if you wronged someone in a previous dating or marriage relationship, ask forgiveness. Whatever the other party does with that offer is not yours to worry about.

On the other hand, if someone has wronged you, don’t seek revenge (that’s the Lord’s to handle), but forgive from the heart. It doesn’t mean that you have now become a doormat for further abuse. Granting forgiveness to someone who has broken your heart does mean that you have decided to let go of the past and start a new beginning in your life.

Take Care of Your Body

Having a broken heart puts tremendous stress on your physical and emotional wellbeing. That’s why it’s important to eat right, drink plenty of fluids, exercise and find time for relaxation. Force yourself to do these things, even if you don’t feel like it, and it will help you overcome depression and feelings of low self-esteem. You’ll thank me later if you do.

Be Willing To Take Another Risk

Okay, your relationship didn’t work out, and you’ve been left with a broken heart. So take this time to evaluate where you can improve yourself for the future.

As a broken hearted single trying to mend, you are in a vulnerable state. That’s why you definitely want to avoid the dangers of a rebound relationship. This is especially true if you are a single parent dating with kids.

However, please don’t close yourself off to the possibility of romance. In the right time and place it’s a wonderful thing. In this regard, you may want to consider using an online Christian dating service because it’s a great way to ease back into dating on your terms, and at your own pace.

Are you a single woman or man with any additional advice on how to mend a broken heart?

Related Articles:

Dating After Divorce
Dating Advice: When to Dump a Dating Relationship

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40 Somethings and 50 Somethings Dating

Oasis Church NJ — Fri, 01 Sep 2006 22:45:50 +0000

40 something and 50 something Baby Boomers are currently using eHarmony Dating Service like almost as much as the average 20 something singles, who was the group that brought internet dating into the mainstream seven years ago.

More telling is that 40 something and 50 something daters also make up the fastest growing demographic of those seeking seeking a date online. Amazingly, with a dating service like PerfectMatch.com, nearly 65% of the singles who sign up are 30 somethings, 40 somethings or 50 somethings. All I can say is, go grandma!

Top Reason Why 40 somethings and 50 somethings Like Online Dating

There are several benefits of finding a date on the web. But the top reason Baby Boomers give for using web-based dating is that it saves them precious time. 40 something and 50 something singles are notoriously busy and impatient folk, and they want what they want, when they want it. Hey, it’s not their fault. They were the first ones to grow up with fast foods, microwaves and ATMs.

Even though 40 somethings and 50 somethings are dating more and more, Baby Boomers have unique barriers that could make being with another person quite challenging:

31% of 40 somethings and 50 something singles have never been married. That means they are set in their particular way of living, which makes it very difficult for them to change for another person.
56% percent of forty-something and fifty-something singles are divorced, which can add emotional baggage on a dating relationship.
Single Parents Dating with kids still in the home are in a particularly difficult spot.
Age itself, with all its attending symptoms: wrinkles, baldness, extra poundage, etc., can make singles feel undesireable.

Overall, if you are a 40 something or 50 something Christian single, this article on where and how to start meeting other singles online will cover it all.

Feel free to share your experiences a a 40 something or 50 something single.

Related Article:

Single Parent Mingle

Senior Dating Online

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Christian Single Moms and Dating Tips

Oasis Church NJ — Tue, 12 Sep 2006 04:00:05 +0000

Single moms have it rough. Christian single moms who are dating may have it even worse: Not only do they have to deal with all the responsibilities that go along with being a custodial single parent, they also have to battle the stigma of being a single mom in the church.

Whether we admit it not, more than a few women in the church look at single moms (especially if they’re hot looking) with subtle suspicion. Translation: Is this single mom aka hussie gonna steal my man?

Does the single mom receive this kind of “Christian” reception because she may be divorced? Or is it due to the possibility that she had a child out of wedlock? No one knows for sure, but this is exactly why dating for single Christian moms in the church can be one of the touchiest of issues.

The following single mom dating tips can not only help you emotionally and spiritually, but will also assist you in meeting the right soulmate for you.

5 Tips for Single Moms Before Dating

Surrender Your Dating Life to Christ

Many Christian single moms end up making horrible dating decisions because they exclude the Saviour from the equation. One single mother told me, “I would like to do this, but I’m afraid He may want me to be an old maid the rest of my life.”

Instead of doubting God’s provision, pour your heart, desires and dreams out to Him, and let him guide you in this area. He won’t let you down, mom. I promise.

Examine Your Own Heart

Before even thinking about dating again, take good long look at yourself and your situation as a single mom. Then ask yourself some difficult questions:

Are there Biblical grounds for not entering a dating relationship?
Do I still need some mending from a broken heart?
Will my next relationship be a rebound relationship?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions you may want to rethink your dating aspirations at this time.

Find Your Target

Huh? As a single mom, what are you looking for in a man? After you’ve prayed and thought about it, make a written list of qualities (spiritual, emotional, physical) you look for in Christian guy. Why? Once you know what it is you are looking for as single moms, you can prepare yourself to fulfill your goals.

Keep Your Kids Safe in the Process

Most single moms make this their natural priority. How do dating single moms do this?

When we are single parents dating with kids, it’s very important not to rush a relationship when neither you nor your children are ready. Reading all you can on this topic will help you in this area.
Get your kids in a good Christian youth group, and join a good Christian singles group for your own support and guidance.
Find a Christian church that preaches the Gospel, but does not make the kids or single moms feel guilty for not being in what they feel is a “normal” family.

Make a Plan

Make a plan based on your goal to meet that special man. Study where Christian singles meet other singles, and get busy. Keep all your options open along the way, and stay optimistic. The Lord is for you, not against you.

Are you a single Christian with something to share about single moms?

Get Your FREE Single Parent Mingle Profile Today!

Related Articles:

Dating After Divorce
Stress Reducers for Single Parents