Where Christian Singles Meet Other Singles

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Ever wonder where Christian Singles meet other single Christians for dating and/or courting relationships? I know some lonely Christian single guys in one of the small groups I lead who sure do. A typical question in our support group goes along these lines: “So how do I go about meeting a nice Christian girl?”

Since we we were curious ourselves (aren’t you guys?), we decided to do some research on the Internet. What we found was quite interesting. For example, In 2003 American Demographics surveyed over 1500 engaged couples to find out how they found each other. Here are the results:

Top Ways Singles Meet

Friends/Relatives…65%
Online Dating Services…20%
Common Interest Activities…10%
Other…5%

So what are single Christians supposed to do with these findings?

Start by noticing that each one of the top ways singles meet other singles is through their doing something.

In Matthew 7, Jesus encourages us to practice a proactive type of faith when he stated “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.”

Of course, our Lord could answer a single Christian’s simple prayer, and supernaturally drop their perfect match into their laps. That would be cool. But more often than not, He wants us to stretch our faith by putting us into a position of prayerful “seeking and knocking”.

I realize there are some Christians who feel that by their inaction they are being spiritual and submissive to the Lord’s will for their lives. But our God is a God of action, and He calls us to imitate Him, as long as we do so in faith and humility.

A Single Christian’s Practical Steps

Therefore, in light of the above singles dating survey here are some practical faith-filled steps a Christian single interested in dating could take:

1. Circulate your stock. Let your family and friends know you are seeking a mate, and ask them to keep an eye open for you. Don’t be embarassed, but just step out in faith. Unless you express your needs they can’t help you. Remember that they know you the best, and may be able to spot a good match for you.

2. Step out of your comfort zone. Each year more and more single Christians are using online Christian dating services. Consider doing the same. On this site you will find the top Christian Matchmaking sites, most of which offer free trial memberships. A neat positive about online dating is that you can search databases for the exact type of person you are seeking to meet. Just make sure you read about online saftey dating tips.

3. Take time to join in on some fun activities that you enjoy. This could be as simple as attending a church singles group, hobby club, fitness club or sporting event. These are natural ways to meet other singles in your area of passion and interest.

4. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Diversify your efforts by putting all of the above into action.

5. Finally, keep a positive attitude as you claim God’s promises for your life (Psalms 37:4, Jer. 29:11, Prov. 3:5,6). Remember, He is in control and knows exactly what you need and when you need it. Has He ever failed you in the past?

Are you a Christian single or recently engaged, and want to share your dating experiences? Make your comments about how Christian Singles meet other singles right here.

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Attracting the Right Man or Woman to Date

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Some single Christians have no problems attracting a man or woman to date. Especially when using an online dating service like eHarmony.  However, attracting the right man or woman to date is often a separate issue. By the right man or woman to date, we mean that special person with whom you may wish to spend the rest of your life.  Your soul mate. Since you only marry a man or woman you date, it’s important to get it right. Right?

There are several practical steps we can take in order to attract the right kind of man or woman to date.

5 Keys to Attracting the Right Man or Woman to Date

Seek the Lord in Prayer

Yeah, I know we heard this all before, but really, God will hear your prayers, and provide for all of your needs (Phil. 4:19). I know some single Christians are frustrated because they have been praying for a mate, and nothing tangible has been happening. But please don’t give up hope for that special man or woman to date.

The Scriptures state that at just the right time God sent forth His son to save us. (Gal. 4:4). So, if God the Father gave us Jesus, will he not graciously give us all things? (Romans 8:32). The answer to that question is a resounding YES! In the meantime, wait on God, and learn to have contentment as a single person.

Love (Accept) Yourself

Jesus told us to love others as we love ourselves. The bottom line is we can’t love others the way God wants (including your our date or mate) until we love ourselves.

Loving yourself has little to do with self-esteem, but all to do with “God-esteem.” What do I mean by that? It means looking at yourself the way God sees you. He says you were wonderfully and fearfully made (Psalms 139), and He thought well of enough of you to die for your sins while you were still a sinner (Romans 5:8).

So here’s my question for you? Can you love and accept yourself as God loves and accepts you, warts and all? If you do, this is a very atttractive quality to the opposite sex. If you can’t accept yourself, potential dates will most likely be turned off as well.

Be the Real You

This means letting others see the real you, not the man or woman you think they want you to be. The reason you should just be yourself is that you want your date to want you just for being you. That way there’s no pressure to keep putting on an act. By the way, keep this in mind if you are writing an online dating profile. Remember, changing yourself to meet your date’s or mate’s criteria is not only stressful and dishonest, but it’s also a surefire way to doom a relationship.

Set Level Expectations

It’s good to make a list (with the help of family and friends who know you best) of the qualities you are looking for in a man or woman date, but just be realistic. I know many Christian singles who have remained single and lonely because they could never find anyone “good enough” for them. Do you get the picture?

Don’t Be Afraid of Rejection and Failure

The God you and I serve calls us to take faith-filled risks. Don’t allow fears to rule over your life. Trust Him to guide you in this area of your life, because you will never meet the right man or woman to date unless you take a chance by becoming vulnerable. Remember that most people, whether they are on a blind date or in a courtship relationship, have faced rejection at one time or another. The key is to trust God with your fears.

Are you a Christian single with thoughts to share on attracting to the right man or woman to date?

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Flirting Tips-How to Flirt with a Girl Online

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Flirting is an art, and those men who learn how to flirt with a girl will be more successful with both traditional and online dating. Just what does it mean to flirt? One definition in Webster’s on flirting reads: “to act in such a way so as to attract.” While some Christian singles are more  flirtatious than others, nearly all interested in a dating or courtship relationship flirt from time to time.

Many online Christian dating services like Eharmony Dating make it possible to communicate via e-mail, chat and IM’s with other singles. This format can be a very playful and fun way of flirting but should be done with some knowledge of online dating safety in mind. Many singles actually relay that they find flirting easier online because they are more at ease when the other person is not standing right next to them.

Understanding how to flirt online with services like Eharmony Dating, and what to avoid while flirting may help you get to the next level: a true dating relationship. The following flirt tips are are actually “pre-flirting” tips that will prepare you for the real thing

How to Flirt Online Successfully

Flirt Tip 1: First Let Them Get to Know You a Little Bit

Most people, especially single women, want to know some background on a person before they start flirting online. In other words, she may be thinking, “is the person flirting with me a whacko or is there a real possiblity of a relationship here?” If you begin flirting before making a proper introduction via that initial email, you have less chance of the person accepting your flirt. She probably receives a ton of flirt mail, so put some thought into your email message, and use proper email etiquette. This puts you in a better flirting position.

Flirt Tip 2: Have a Great Photo and Captivating Profile

Guys, this is what will make or break you, even if you are the best flirt on the web. Guess what’s the first thing a person will do after you make initial contact and begin flirting. Yup. They’re gonna check out that handsome picture you submitted (and if you don’t have one you are ten times less likely to have someone even acknowledge your presence).

The second thing a Christian single woman will do is read your profile and look at your screen name. A sparce profile may lead her to believe you a married player looking for a fling, or a complete neanderthal who lacks any sensitivity and brains.

Flirt Tip 3: Have a Creative Screen Name

A good screen name or user name speaks a thousands words. Have fun with this one, but make sure you get it right. Do we need to remind you guys that sexual innuendos are a big no no? I didn’t think so.

Flirt tip 4: Take it Easy and Slow

Single women like to be wooed, not run over. Please avoid asking her for a date on your first flirt. It usually won’t work. Instead, take the time to get to know her likes and dislikes, which will only help you become a better flirt the next time you meet online.

In a future article, we will deal with specific examples of flirting. In the meantime, putting the above into practice will help you in your online dating life.

Are you a Christian single with tips on how to flirt?

Related Flirting Articles:

Body Language Flirting

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