PerfectMatch dating service has three million members worldwide and growing, is for singles looking for anything from a date to lasting, meaningful perfectmatch relationships leading to marriage. Perfectmatch 
is a Scientific Approach to Find The One You Belong with Forever. Perfectmatch is the only matchmaking and personals service to offer the Duet Total Compatibility System, co-developed by Pepper Schwartz, internationally renowned matchmaker and dating authority.
The PerfectMatch Duet Total Compatibility System , based on 30 years of research, is a set of two tests that analyzes each member’s Personality, Values, Ideals and Preferences to identify and find just the right soul mate for them. That’s good news for single Christians looking to find a perfectmatch mate. You can get your FREE Perfectmatch.com Profile with no obligation to use the dating service.
Perfectmatch.com Tidbits
- The average Perfectmatch member is 34 years old. Members range in age from 21 to 90. Well, I say God bless them , whoever they are!
- Perfectmatch generates 100’s of thousands of matches per month
- Perfectmatch.com is one of the few online dating services to offer a personal follow up review of your profile. This means if you desire it, an experienced member of the Perfectmatch Services Team will contact you to go over your unique results
- The average length of Perfectmatch membership is only three months, which means new Christian Singles are always joining Perfectmatch.
- The cost of one month’s PerfectMatch membership is $59.95
- Dr Scwartz appears frequently on television, including “Oprah”, “Dr. Phil” and “Dateline NBC”.
- Perfectmatch was the backdrop for the 2006 romantic comedy hit movie, “Failure to Launch”, starring Matthew McConaughey and Sarah Jessica Parker. I personally didn’t like the movie, did you?
Perfectmatch Kudos and Crowns
- Perfectmatch has a great search and matching system which makes it easy to find other single Christians.
- Similar to eHarmony with one major difference: You can search Perfectmatch.com and make a choice, which gives you more control over the perfect match dating process.
PerfectMatch Pitchforks
Try Perfectmatch for FREE Now!
Help other singles by commenting or sharing your own PerfectMatch review.
Other Top Free Trial Dating Sites Used by Christians:
EHarmony
Yahoo Personals
AmericanSingles
Christian Cafe
Christian Mingle
Christian Cupid
Christian Soulmates
BigChurch
Specialty Christian Dating:
Top Black Dating Sites
Senior Dating Sites
Hispanic and Latin Dating
Single Parent Dating
See Our Favorites Matchmaking Sites
Related Dating Articles:
PerfectMatch.com and Superman Returns
Posted: PerfectMatch, All Recent Singles Posts Tags: PerfectMatch, Perfectmatch.com, perfect match, Pepper Schwartz, singles, matchmaking, personals, Christian singles
Writing your online dating profile is the first and most important step when using online Christian Dating Services. However, while almost all the top internet Christian matchmaking services offer free trial memberships where you can post an online dating profile, very few offer dating profile writing tips. The purpose of this article is to gve you some practical steps toward writing a successful dating profile.
Before beginning to write your dating profile, consider what your actual goals are. For most Christian singles, an online dating profile serves as a “resume” used not only to attract interested singles, but most importantly to attract the quality of person you desire in a soulmate.
Top Dating Profile Tips
Considering the following online dating profile tips when writing your own profile will help you find the dating relationship you are seeking.
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Start by being honest. Being honest when writing a dating profile means not exaggerating on topics like physical appearance, job or financial staus. As my one friend stated; “His profile stated he was 6′1″, but when we met it was more like meeting a Hobbit.” That’s funny but sad. The lesson here is that writing a truthful dating profile can save you time and embarrassment. Be yourself and remember that you are looking for the person who will accept you for who you are, not for what you think they want you to be.
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When describing yourself in your dating profile freely express your values and interests. This is your opportunity to separate yourself from other dating profiles by telling people not only what you like, but why you like what you do. For example, many profiles state that the person loves the beach, but most don’t expound on what they like about the beach. Writing your dating profile this way makes for much more interesting reading. and lets the reader see part of the real you.
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Write to your target audience. What do we mean by that? Write your dating profile as if you were addressing an actual person, that particular soul mate you have been praying about meeting. Writing this way will instill passion in your writing, and save time by weeding out those single people who you would have no interest in dating anyway.
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Practice using a sense of humor in your dating profile. Having a sense of humor breaks down barriers and lets those reading your dating profile sense that you are a real and fun person.
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Don’t make your dating profile too long, because that can be boring and tedious for a reader. They told me this in seminary, and we can apply this to a dating profile: Always leave them wanting more! Dating profile experts (yes, there are such things :)) suggest a profile no longer than 250 words. The breakdowen should as follows: 150 words should describe yourself; 100 words or so could describe the mate or spouse you are seeking.
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Use a nice photo of yourself in the dating profile. That usually means a close up with not much flesh revealed. Research shows that those folks who include a photo in their profile get 15 times the amount of readers than those who choose not to use them. A couple words of caution here. Do I need to remind you to make it a recent photo? Did you know pics with sunglasses are not cool, but make people think you are hiding something? Okay, I’m done preaching.
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Finally, make sure you use a spell checker (I should talk). By using a text editor you can also cut and paste your profile on different sites, saving lots of time and hassle in case you want to modify it.
If you are single, please consider helping others by leaving to leave your comments on writing a dating profile.
Posted: Yahoo Personals, Dating Tips, BigChurch, PerfectMatch, Eharmony, All Recent Singles Posts Tags: none
A little over a decade ago, most Christian singles sought a soulmate through more traditional means. Looking for a soulmate online was taboo, and dating services had not yet grown into the $400+ million dollar business industry it is today. Back then, if a Christian guy or girl did not find their Christian soulmate through church singles groups, friends, colleagues or relatives, the only other options would have been to try out the bar scene (never a good idea).
While the traditional approach of how and where a Christian can meet his or her soulmate is still viable, seeking a soul mate online also has many benefits:
Highly Targeted Soulmate Search
You can choose criteria you feel is most complementary in a soulmate. Many times we are at the mercy of our well intentioned friends and relatives who try to set us up in matches we know would never work. With online date sites, compatiblity tests and vast databases gives you more control and a head start in the soulmate search.
Online Soulmate Searches Save Time
Okay, you’ve put the word out to several friends and relatives that you’re in the market to meet a soulmate. You attend singles outings and different events at various churches in your area. These are all good, traditional ways of finding a soulmate, but they take a huge investment of time with no guarantee that you will even meet one potential mate.
However, when you look for a soulmate through a Christian matchmaking site, you can do so 24/7 at your convenience in the comfort of your own home. You also have a huge pool of soulmate prospects right at your fingertips who are looking for the same things you are. This saves you much time and effort while in the date search mode.
Looking for a Soulmate Online Saves Moulah
A typical Dating site for single Christians can cost anywhere from $150 to $200 dollars per year. That sounds pretty steep until you compare that with what it’s been costing you in money and time to go out several nights a month.
Overall, looking for a soulmate online and the more traditional ways of dating should not be couched as an either/or proposition. Using both approaches can be complementary as you seek the Lord for a Christian marriage partner and soulmate.
Feel free to share your comments regarding seeking a soulmate online.
The most popular Christian dating service in the world
Posted: Single Parents Dating, Dating Tips, Christian Singles Soapbox, Yahoo Personals, Eharmony, PerfectMatch, All Recent Singles Posts Tags: soulmate, singles
Online Hispanic dating services are popping up faster than bodegas in Miami. Not surprisingly, many of the Latino singles and Latina singles using Christian Hispanic dating sites are professing Christians. According to a recent Barna Research Group survey, Hispanics (40 million strong in the U.S. alone) are one of the most religious people groups as gaged by their desire and commitment to grow closer ties with God.
Although most Hispanic dating singles are Catholic Christians, a large and rapidly growing number of Hispanics identify themselves as Evangelicals. In fact, the fastest growing Christian denominations in North and Latin America are Pentecostals, Baptists and Methodists, all of the evangelical ilk.
Top Hispanic/Latin Dating Services
In light of the above, as a service to Hispanic and Latin Dating Singles everywhere, we have researched and listed the top Hispanic dating sites used by Hispanic women and men around the world. Although not explicitly “Christian dating services”, each listed Hispanic dating service has huge worldwide databases and matching software that allows single Christians to zero in on their potential soulmate with similar values, language and location. All of these matchmaking sites also offer free trial memberships.
With the ongoing U.S. controversy over Hispanic immigration, let me add one last word regarding Hispanic dating services: None of these are exclusive. In other words, if you are a gringo you can use Hispanic dating services without discrimination. The simple fact of the matter is Hispanics and all other people groups tend to like to date people of similiar language, culture and values. The spirit is not one of discrimination, but rather celebration. That’s the primary purpose of Hispanic dating services in a nutshell.
If you have a comment regarding Hispanic dating, feel free to add it here. In the meantime, here are our top Hispanic dating services:
Interracial Dating and the Christian Church
Reviews of Free Trial Dating Sites Used by Hispanic Dating Christians:
EHarmony
PerfectMatch-PerferctMatch.com
Yahoo Personals
AmericanSingles
Christian Cafe
Christian Mingle
BigChurch
Christian Soulmates
Singlec
Specialty Christian Dating:
Top Black Dating Sites
Senior Dating Sites
Hispanic and Latin Dating
Single Parent Dating
See Our Favorites Matchmaking Sites
Posted: Christian Singles Soapbox, Single Parents Dating, Hispanic Dating Services, European Dating, Yahoo Personals, Christian Soulmates, Eharmony, Single Christian Network, PerfectMatch, All Recent Singles Posts Tags: hispanic dating, latin dating, latina singles
Superman Returns flew into theatres on 6/28/06, and so did Perfectmatch.com, the online dating service. By integrating itself with the 2006 Summer movie blockbusters, Superman Returns, starring Kevin Spacey and Kate Bosworth, and The Break-Up, with Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn, Perfectmatch.com will definitely earn further name recognition among the masses.
As we have seen in the past, Perfectmatch.com, which has over three million members worldwide, has a penchant (and a 10 million dollar yearly advertising budget) for teaming up with Hollywood to get the word out about it’s dating service. In addition to being mentioned in films like Must Love Dogs and Failure to Launch, Perfectmatch also recently signed a deal with the Lifetime cable network to appear in Lovespring International, a 13 week comedy series about a dysfunctional dating service. And no, Perfectmatch.com is not the dysfunctional service.
We found Perfectmatch.com an interesting dating service with a decent database and great search options. If you have used Perfectmatch.com, help other single Christians by sharing your thoughts.
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Posted: PerfectMatch, All Recent Singles Posts Tags: perfectmatch.com, perfectmatch, online dating service, dating servcie, superman returns, kevin spacey, kate bosworth, lovespring internatonal, singles
Many Christian singles are interested in using an online Christian dating site like eHarmony, but are unsure of how or where to start. Other singles have tried online Christian dating, but are looking for some dating advice on how to improve their internet dating experiences.
The following step by step online dating guide will help single Christians through the online Christian dating maze.
Of course, we’re assuming that you’ve already gone to the Lord in prayer over this issue.
Online Christian Dating Guide
Identify your Goals
Before scouring the many internet dating sites, understand what it is you are looking to achieve.
Asking yourself the following questions will help your dating search process while saving you tons of time: Are you simply looking for a Christian penpal or Christian chatroom partner? Are you seeking a casual date or courtship and long term relationship culminating in marriage? Does your date have to live locally, or are you copacedic with long distance dating relationships?
Get Educated About Online Dating Safety
Online Christian dating is no longer a taboo subject in the church. Millions of Christians worldwide are trying online dating because there are many benefits, and they are having wonderful results.
However, like any other dating scenario, there are pitfalls to avoid. Reading about safety dating tips for Christian singles will help ensure a great time.
Choose Reputable Online Dating Sites
This is where you can really waste a lot of time (and money) if you’re not careful. Because there is so much junk out there, it is important to understand what makes a good online Christian dating site.
The following online dating sites are those that most Christians use. Since all offer free trial memberships, and have good search databases where you can meet the kind of date you are looking for, we recommend signing up for free at several to get acquainted with the features. Afterwards, you can join the one you feel most suits your needs.
Chat on Meetic UK: Chat with singles in your area 
Christian Mingle-Sign up Today
Christian Cafe
Christian Cupid- Asia, South America, UK, Africa, Australia, Europe, Russia, Canada, USA
eHarmony
Perfectmatch
FREE Yahoo Personals
Rencontres avec Meetic France 
Write a Great Online Dating Profile
After you have chosen an online dating service, you will want to write a captivating dating profile that will attract the kind of singles you are hoping to meet.
Two of the most important components of your dating profile besides the body, where you will talk about how wonderful you are, is your dating screen name and dating photo.
Why are are these so important? It’s simple. Your dating screen name and dating photo are the very first things single Christians will see before deciding whether or not to click on to read the rest of your Christian profile. If you mess these up, very few people will be contacting you, so spend some time in order to make these as attractive as possible.
Prepare For Your First Online Communication
Whether you are replying to sombody else’s online Christian dating ad, or you are getting back to someone who has clicked on yours, you need to learn good communication skills.
Good communication is key to any successful online and offline dating relationship. Along these lines, practicing proper email etiquette for dating and learning good conversation starter skills can help you get started on the right track.
Enjoy Your First In Person Date
It’s natural to experience a little nervousness on your first date. In order to ensure things run smoothly, be sure to read dating tips on first date do’s and don’t’s. If you are at a loss over what to do on your date, checking out some creative dating ideas may help get the wheels turning.
Are you a Christian single with your own experience to share about online Christian dating?
Related Posts:
Attracting the Right Man or Woman to Date
Commitment Phobia and Singles
Pathological Liars: Are You Dating a Liar?
Fears That Keep Men and Women Single
Posted: Meetic, Christian Cupid, Dating Tips, Yahoo Personals, Single Christian Network, PerfectMatch, All Recent Singles Posts Tags: Online Christian Dating
Some Christian singles are disappointed with online dating because they find it hard to meet other single Christians, especially in their own local area.
However, one of the keys to meeting more singles online is not only to search through Christian personals yourself, but to also maximize your chances of them seeking you out. And just how do you go about doing both well?
Whether you have already become a member of one of the online dating sites most Christians use, or are just beginning to think about it, putting the following simple dating tips into practice will help you get more dating singles knocking down your door.
Tips On How To Meet More Online Singles
Restyle That Dating Profile
Okay, you’ve written a good dating profile, but you’re not meeting singles through it? Check over the following:
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If you don’t have an online dating photo in your profile, you are cheating yourself out of at least 10 times more singles looking at your ad. If you already have one, go over some tips on how to improve your online picture, and think about taking a new shot.
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Since location and age are the two most frequently used variables singles search for, make sure you include these somewhere in your profile.
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Just like a website seeking to have good search engine rankings, you’ll want your profile to be near the top of the search pile of any online dating site you are using. Many sites put the most recently active profiles first, so staying active (responding to all your e-mails, visiting your site often, participating in on-site Christian chatrooms, etc.) is the best way of remaining on top. Another tip that may help keep you on top is updating your profile from time to time. Changing your online screen name at this time would not be a bad idea either. Remember: the first and most seen profiles get the most clicks.
Make Proactive Contacts
Explore your online dating site, and don’t let fears that keep other women and men from meeting someone nice hold you back. Instead, take the following steps:
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Most online sites have chatrooms and in house e-mailing systems. Rub elbows with other singles here and build natural online relationships. It’s not only fun, but who knows where it will lead, right?
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Return all e-mails within 24 hours, as anything more than that is a huge turn off, and you will be perceived as a snob. You should also note that most singles looking to meet other singles move quickly, so you don’t want to miss out.
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Contact up to ten singles (but no more than that because it will be almost impossible to maintain meaningful relationships) and pray as you narrow your interest down to one potential soulmate.
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Don’t freak out if you experience several rejections. It happens to the best of us, and it just means that this is not the person God has in mind for you. Simply move on to the next single you would like to meet and get to know better.
Overall, if you keep Christ at the center of your dating life, learning how to meet more singles online should be fun and stress free. If you are a single Christian (college student, single parent, senior single) seeking to meet other singles, feel free to share your experiences.
Posted: Single Parents Dating, Hispanic Dating Services, Senior Dating, Black Dating Sites, Yahoo Personals, Christian Soulmates, Single Christian Network, AmericanSingles, PerfectMatch, BigChurch, All Recent Singles Posts Tags: none
Jealousy is one of the most destructive and painful emotions in a dating relationship. A jealous dater can think and do some wacky things he or she would not normally think of doing. That’s why overcoming jealousy when it crops up is so important.
According to a North American survey of marriage counselors, 33% of all couples in marriage counseling have jealousy problems as a root issue. Since jealousy is a universal emotion, I suspect European, Asian, African, South American and Asian couples have similar dealings with jealousy.
Among Christian single couples, jealousy affects both traditional dating and courtship love relationships.
Just what does it mean to be jealous? Webster’s Dictionary rightly defines jealousy as a “fearfulness or wariness of being replaced by a rival.” In a dating or romantic relationship, this means the jealous girlfriend or jealous guy suspects there is a rival for the affection or attention of their partner. The object of the dater’s jealousy could be an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend, (the most frequent complaint) or some other thing such as the person’s children, job or even the family dog. (Don’t laugh about the dog, I once had a Family Court case related to this issue)
The problem with jealousy is that there are several kinds, which can get a little confusing. For example, there is God’s jealousy (Exodus 20:5), which is always holy, just, and desirous of others’ wellbeing. Then there is human jealousy, which often ends with disasterous results. Solomon writes of this kind in Song of Songs: “Jealousy is as cruel as the grave” (Sgs 8:6).
As sinners, we all need to learn how to cope with the human kind of jealousy, whether we experience it in our own hearts, or have others being jealous of us.
Most singles are able to control acting out their jealous impulses. However for others, overcoming jealousy is almost impossible without God’s help. This form of jealousy is pathological, and could lead to the crimes of passion we often read about in the newspapers, or see in movies.
As a single Christian seeking true love in a relationship, it’s very important for your own dating safety to know some “red flag” signs of a pathologically jealous person.
Red Flags of Jealousy Out of Control
- The dating or courtship partner continually accuses the other of being unfaithful when there is no basis for him or her to think this way.
- The jealous person checks phone bills, emails or the cell phone directory to check the partner’s records of communication. They may even forbid their romantic partner to speak with certain members of the opposite sex.
- The jealous dating partner forbids (ie: orders) the other single dater to wear certain things in public.
- The person with jealousy issues may go through the personal belongings of the other party looking for “evidence” of unfaithfulness
- The person with out-of-control jealousy may follow, or have one of their friends follow the other person to make sure they are being faithful. In extreme cases they may even ‘bug” the home using electronic equipment.
- The jealous party will keep tabs on their date by calling them constantly throughout the day. They may give an excuse (”I just missed you”) as to why they are calling so frequently, but in fact are distrustful of them.
- The jealous person may want to be with the other person 24/7, and if the other single resists, there may be a physcial or emotional outburst.
- The jealous dating partner forces the other to give account of all their free time away from them.
- The person with pathological jealousy may threaten to do physical harm to themselves or to their dating partner.
If you are a single Christian in any kind dating relationship where one or more of the above jealousy red flags exist, we recommend:
- Lovingly communicating to your friend that they need professional help.
- Consider getting out of the relationship as soon as you can to ensure your own safety. While you may be tempted to stay in an effort to change them, or because the jealous partner may make an emotional promise of change, please don’t give in.
Overcoming Jealousy
Overcoming jealousy will be easier if you understand its origin. Ask yourself: “Do my feelings have a basis in fact (the behavior of the dating partner), or are they coming from my own insecurity?”
If there is actually something the other party is doing that is inciting you to be jealous, have a heart to heart discussion with them. Often, an honest exchange of feelings will solve the problem.
Understand that your jealous behavior may actually drive away your date, the very thing you feared might happen
Admit you have a problem and seek guidance from trusted freinds who know your situation, and/or an understanding Christian counselor or minister.
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Posted: Hispanic Dating Services, Single Parents Dating, Dating Tips, Senior Dating, Black Dating Sites, Yahoo Personals, Christian Soulmates, Single Christian Network, AmericanSingles, PerfectMatch, BigChurch, All Recent Singles Posts Tags: none
Interracial dating is no longer taboo in today’s society, as witnessed by the many interracial dating service websites like eHarmony . However, dating across racial and ethnic lines still remains a controversial subject in some quarters.
While Christian single interracial dating or married couples can live peacefully in most urban societies of the world, they may still be stigmatized in rural areas, and sadly even within the confines of their own church and family.
Therefore, any single Christian thinking about interracial dating should prepare for success by asking themselves the following questions:
Interracial Dating Question Checklist
- What would your family and friends say if you told them you were dating someone from a different race or ethnicity?
- If family and friends react negatively to interracial dating, what would be your response?
- How will you and your interracial date respond to societal disapproval and outright racism? Prejudices could come in forms ranging from staring at a restaurant or church, to ostracizing and outright physical threats.
- Have you and your interracial dating partner openly discussed cultural differences, and their implications if the dating relationship were to culminate in marriage?
Openly and honestly go over the above questions first by yourself, and then together with your interracial dating interest. This exercise will give you an indication of whether or not this interracial dating relationship could be successful.
The longest lasting interracial dating relationships and marriages are those which are able to weave the best of both cultures into unison with each other.
Finally, despite the increase in the number of interracial dating singles, many find it difficult to meet others in their everyday walk of life.This one of the several reasons why online interracial dating sites like ChristianCafe
have become popular.
Just in case you were wondering, all of the dating services reviewed on Christian Dating Service PLUS! have large search databases that makes finding an interracial date in your local area an easier task.
If have dated or are dating someone from a different ethnic or cultural background, please consider helping other singles by sharing your experiences with interracial dating.
Related Articles:
Finding a Date in Your Local Area
Online Christian Dating: How to Start
How to Meet More Single Christians Online
Christian Black Singles
Posted: Hispanic Dating Services, Single Parents Dating, Dating Tips, Senior Dating, Interracial Dating Services, Black Dating Sites, Yahoo Personals, BigChurch, Christian Cafe, Eharmony, Christian Mingle, Single Christian Network, PerfectMatch, AmericanSingles, All Recent Singles Posts Tags: interracial dating, interracial dating sites, interacial dating, Christian singles, singles
As single Christians, knowing marriage builder tips while dating will lay the foundation toward a healthy marriage relationship when you’re ready to make that commitment. Working in Family Court, I’ve seen lots of unhappy and unhealthy marriage relationships that sure could have used marriage builder tips.
Not surprisingly, a University of Wisconsin study revealed that over 90% of our future happiness is related to the kind of mate we choose to date or marry. Therefore, having a healthy marriage relationship means you have a greater chance at enhancing your happiness.
As Christian singles, we know our true joy, which is eternal, remains in the Lord. However, our happiness, based on transient circumstances, can definitely be affected by poor relationship choices. With divorce rates running between 40 to 50% in the USA, Australia, Europe and Asia, many are nodding their heads in agreement.
Most of us pray for healthy marriage relationships. The following marriage builder quick tips point toward that goal.
Marriage Builder Tips for a Healthy Marriage Relationship
Marriage Builder Tip #1: See Dating as a Means to an End
It all begins with dating, but it should not end there. For single Christians at least, the primary goal of dating should be a healthy relationship culminating in marriage. Otherwise, if you’re really serious about keeping yourself sexually pure before the Lord, why even enter a dating or courtship relationship?
Marriage Builder Tip #2: Know What Kind of Person Makes For A Healthy Relationship
Part of finding a person that makes for a healthy relationship, is knowing and avoiding the kind that doesn’t. For example, single Christians dating unbelievers, or good Christian girls who date bad guys would fall into this category.
Unfortunately, most churches don’t teach singles (teens to seniors) how to attract the right woman or man to date or court. In fact, several reasons we started Christian Dating Service PLUS! was not only to provide informative dating articles in this area, but also to show others how they can meet more single Christians online by expanding their search base.
Marriage Builder Tip #3: Know What it Takes to Have a Healthy Relationship
It sounds too simple, but it’s really true. The more one knows the signs of a healthy Christian dating or marriage relationship, the more likely the chance of creating one. Doesn’t that make sense?
Related Articles:
Online Christian Dating Advice on How to Start
Online Christian Dating Sites Christians Use
Return to Christian-Dating-Service-PLUS Home
Posted: Hispanic Dating Services, Single Parents Dating, Yahoo Personals, Dating Tips, Senior Dating, Interracial Dating Services, Black Dating Sites, Christian Soulmates, BigChurch, Christian Cafe, Eharmony, Christian Mingle, Single Christian Network, PerfectMatch, AmericanSingles, All Recent Singles Posts Tags: marriage builders, marriage, relationships, dating, single Christians
Low self-esteem in some Christian singles is keeping them from finding a serious dating relationship. It’s really simple: If you don’t feel real good about yourself, you’re not going to think anyone else will either.
Sadly, problems with low self-esteem can not only effect our dating relationships, but all other areas of our life, including our emotional health. Single men and women with low self-esteem suffer more depression and discouragement, loneliness and anxiety in their lives than other people. These negative emotions feed a vicious cycle of withdrawal that only worsens low self-esteem. This makes me depressed just writing about this stuff!
To make matters worse, it seems many Christians feel confused when talking about self-esteem, somehow thinking it is “unspiritual” or self-centered to feel good about yourself. Of course, nothing could be further from the truth, as long as you understand from whence your strength comes.
Breaking the Chain of Low Self-Esteem
If you are a single Christian suffering from a poor sense of self worth, and are looking for ways to build self-esteem, allowing the truth of the following points to sink into your soul will help put you on the path to recovery:
Know That God Accepts You As You Are
The beginning of healthy self-esteem and emotional well-being is self acceptance. Being able to accept yourself starts with accepting God’s view of your worth as a person, and then gladly receiving what He has to offer.
- Do you hate who you look like? You shouldn’t because God said you were fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalms 139)
- Do you feel worthless and unlovable? God the Father says He loves you, and finds you so worthwhile that He chose His son to die on your behalf, even while you were far from Him (John 3:16, Romans 5:8).
- Do you feel guilty and unclean because of how you have lived your life? God offers complete forgiveness and cleansing from all past wrong.(1John 1:19), and a new beginning in life (2Cor 5:17).
Know That You Belong
Self-esteem suffers when we feel like there is no place we belong. A sense of belonging gives us a feeling that we are needed and wanted. This makes us feel good about ourselves, and loved at the same time..
God made us to experience this feeling of belonging and love through the forming of intimate relationships. The most important relationship you can have is with the Lord. In fact, Jesus’ prayer for His followers was that the same kind of wonderful relationship He had with His Father may be experienced by them too: “That they all may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You; that they also may be one in Us…” (John 17)
If you are a child of God, you belong in His family, and are dearly beloved (Col. 3:12). You are not orphans or paupers, but princes and princesses who will rule as co-heirs with Jesus. If you really believe this stuff, nothing will make you feel better.
Know That You Can Conquer Your Past
Many singles who suffer from low self-esteem have had past experiences (often in childhood) that have given them a tremendous sense of failure. This sense of “being a loser” is so agonizing that they fear taking risks in life. It’s fears like these that can keep women and men single.
However, part of understanding who we are in Christ is realizing that past failures and experiences no longer have a hold on us. We now have the power to conquer our past failures and fears through Him (Romans 8:37, 2 Timothy 1:7). The question that remains is whether or not you choose to change your negative pattern of thinking and acting. That power is all yours through Christ (Phil. 4:13).
If you are a Christian single whose low self-esteem has caused your dating aspirations to suffer, covenant with yourself and the Lord to start seeing yourself through His eyes.
Are you are a single person with something to share about low self-esteem?
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Posted: Single Parents Dating, Christian Singles Soapbox, Hispanic Dating Services, Senior Dating, Interracial Dating Services, Black Dating Sites, Yahoo Personals, Christian Soulmates, Christian Mingle, Christian Cafe, Single Christian Network, AmericanSingles, BigChurch, PerfectMatch, All Recent Singles Posts Tags: low self-esteem
How to mend a broken heart for singles who are broken hearted?
Almost everyone has had their own “broken heart confession” of a lost relationship. A broken heart is a broken heart, whether that relationship was in a dating context or a marriage. All I can say is it’s one of the most painful things I’ve ever suffered.
While mending a broken heart takes different amounts of time for each person, the following points on how to mend a broken heart will be helpful to all single Christians.
How to Mend a Broken Heart Guide
Talk About Your Broken Heart With Those Who Care
One of the best ways to begin mending a broken heart is to talk about it. Talking about our pain helps us accept the reality of the situation, and guides us along in the healing process and dealing with guilt, if any
As Christian singles, the first person we should go to is the Lord. A beautiful promise is found in Psalms 34:18: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Tell your heavenly Dad where it hurts, and exactly how you feel. Don’t hold back anything because He is there for you, and can take whatever you throw at Him.
Beyond pouring out your broken heart to the Lord, getting involved in a Christian singles group, church fellowship, or support group will give you a safe place to share your painful experiences and receive love and support. Don’t feel that you can heal or mend your broken heart on your own. That’s just stupid pride, and will cause you to take longer to heal. We all need somebody from time to time.
Forgiveness Equals Healing
There is an amazing amount of healing power in being forgiven, or in granting forgiveness to someone who has wronged you. The power of forgiveness began at the cross of Christ, where He forgave us our sins. If you don’t understand what it means to be forgiven by God, please read how you can find peace with Him before continuing.
Forgiveness brings closure and cleansing, which speeds the healing of the broken hearted person. So if you wronged someone in a previous dating or marriage relationship, ask forgiveness. Whatever the other party does with that offer is not yours to worry about.
On the other hand, if someone has wronged you, don’t seek revenge (that’s the Lord’s to handle), but forgive from the heart. It doesn’t mean that you have now become a doormat for further abuse. Granting forgiveness to someone who has broken your heart does mean that you have decided to let go of the past and start a new beginning in your life.
Take Care of Your Body
Having a broken heart puts tremendous stress on your physical and emotional wellbeing. That’s why it’s important to eat right, drink plenty of fluids, exercise and find time for relaxation. Force yourself to do these things, even if you don’t feel like it, and it will help you overcome depression and feelings of low self-esteem. You’ll thank me later if you do.
Be Willing To Take Another Risk
Okay, your relationship didn’t work out, and you’ve been left with a broken heart. So take this time to evaluate where you can improve yourself for the future.
As a broken hearted single trying to mend, you are in a vulnerable state. That’s why you definitely want to avoid the dangers of a rebound relationship. This is especially true if you are a single parent dating with kids.
However, please don’t close yourself off to the possibility of romance. In the right time and place it’s a wonderful thing. In this regard, you may want to consider using an online Christian dating service because it’s a great way to ease back into dating on your terms, and at your own pace.
Are you a single woman or man with any additional advice on how to mend a broken heart?
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What exactly is a rebound relationship or dating on the rebound? It’s an intense dating relationship that begins very soon after a long-term relationship goes south. As one experienced single person described it: “A rebound relationship is kinda like jumping from one moving train to another. There’s no time for thinking about what you are about to do. Rebound dating is both exciting and dangerous at the same time.” Now that sounds intense!
The fact is, rebound relationships get bad marks from most single women and men who have tried them. The reason is that instead of being that perfect medicine for mending a broken heart, most rebound relationships fail, and consequently cause more pain for both dating partners.
If you are in a rebound dating relationship now, or just thinking about entering one, consider the following dating advice tips in order to protect yourself:
Rebound Relationship Advice for Those Dating on the Rebound
Rebound Relationships Tip 1: Only Fools Rush In
Ending one relationship and rebounding immediately into the next one, is not healthy for you, or fair to the other person. The reason for this is that you need time to grieve and heal before truly being emotionally ready for a new person.
While it’s natural to feel vulnerable and needy immediately after a breakup or divorce, fight the temptation to rebound so quickly into a new dating situation. It may dull your pain, but slow your healing.
Instead, take this time to evaluate what went wrong in the previous relationship, and think about how you can improve yourself for the next.
Rebound Relationships Tip 2: Get Counsel and Accountability
Before taking the plunge into a rebound relationship, get wise counsel from people who know and love you, and who can keep you accountable to making sound judgements.
Unfortunately, people involved in rebound relationships often seek a “quick fix” for their pain and damaged self-esteem. This leaves the rebound dater open for sexual and emotional manipulation by unsavory types who actually prey on the broken hearted.
Another problem with dating on the rebound is that people who do this tend to seek out the same type of person in the previous relationship, which predictably ends with the same results. That’s why it’s important to have several people who can help keep you centered during your healing process.
Rebound Relationship Advice for the Person Dating the Rebounder
Know the Odds
If you’re looking for a long-term commitment, dating in a rebound relationship is definitely not the thing to do. We counsel against entering a dating relationship with someone you know who:
If you are dating a rebounder as decribed above, the chances are great that you a just a “transitory” person. Once the rebounder in the rebound relationship emotionally heals, they usually end up leaving the other person.
Don’t Let your Guard Down
This is usually not good advice, especially if you are attempting to build an emotionally intimate friendship. However, for your own protection, take it very slow with the rebounder, honestly explaining to him or her that you do not want to be a rebound relationship statistic.
This will take lots of self-control because rebound daters are very needy people who will attempt to fill the void, and blunt the pain in their lives by getting real close, real soon. Don’t take the bait, and save yourself much pain.
If you are a single person, feel free to share your experiences with rebound relationships.
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40 something and 50 something Baby Boomers are currently using online dating services eHarmony like almost as much as the average 20 something singles, who was the group that brought internet dating into the mainstream seven years ago.
More telling is that 40 something and 50 something daters also make up the fastest growing demographic of those seeking seeking a date online. Amazingly, with a dating service like PerfectMatch.com, nearly 65% of the singles who sign up are 30 somethings, 40 somethings or 50 somethings. All I can say is, go grandma!
Top Reason Why 40 somethings and 50 somethings Like Online Dating
There are several benefits of finding a date on the web. But the top reason Baby Boomers give for using web-based dating is that it saves them precious time. 40 something and 50 something singles are notoriously busy and impatient folk, and they want what they want, when they want it. Hey, it’s not their fault. They were the first ones to grow up with fast foods, microwaves and ATMs.
Even though 40 somethings and 50 somethings are dating more and more, Baby Boomers have unique barriers that could make being with another person quite challenging:
- 31% of 40 somethings and 50 something singles have never been married. That means they are set in their particular way of living, which makes it very difficult for them to change for another person.
- 56% percent of forty-something and fifty-something singles are divorced, which can add emotional baggage on a dating relationship.
- Single Parents Dating with kids still in the home are in a particularly difficult spot.
- Age itself, with all its attending symptoms: wrinkles, baldness, extra poundage, etc., can make singles feel undesireable.
Overall, if you are a 40 something or 50 something Christian single, this article on where and how to start meeting other singles online will cover it all.
Feel free to share your experiences a a 40 something or 50 something single.
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Senior Dating Online
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If you had a chance to review eHarmony.com, you would have found that they depart from the traditional dating sites’ way of helping singles meet their match.
Since some singles didn’t like (and some still don’t like) the idea of having to search the internet for a soulmate on their own, in 2000 eHarmony.com became the first to develop a matching system that basically does all the searching for its members. The eHarmony.com process is as follows:
- Christian Singles (or any other single) can sign up for an eHarmony.com Free Personality Profile
- eHarmony.com then contacts those people with compatible matches from other singles who have also taken the questionnaire.
- Finally, eHarmony.com software allows those singles to communicate with each other anonymously until they feel comfortable.
eHarmony is one of the largest matchmaking sites of its kind. They claim that on average, over 90 couples get married everyday due to the fact that they first met on eHarmony.
eHarmony.com Top Competitor
Observing the success of eHarmony.com, several other dating services have imitated their methods. However, the top competitor of eHarmony.com is PerfectMatch.com, which also offers its own free