Christian Dating Guy Sounds Off基督教约会家伙关闭声音
The following article is from Eric, a下面的文章是由李家祥， Christian single基督教单一 and one of our Christian Dating Service PLUS!和我们的一个基督教约会服务加上！ readers addressing why nice Christian single guys have such a hard time finding a nice Christian girl.读者解决为什么尼斯基督教单一的家伙有这样的辛苦，找到一个很好的基督教女孩。 Respond as you wish:作为回应，你是否想：
Though I feel that what I have to say might be taken as offensive, especially to those of you who were given the gift of being a female, I hope to offer it as perhaps a different take on this issue.虽然我觉得我要说的话可能采取的攻击性，特别是那些你们谁给的礼物作为一个女性，我希望能够提供它作为或许不同，采取在这个问题上。 My prayer is that you will truly hear all of what I have to say first and attack it with a biblical mentality if the need arises to do so.我的祈祷是，你将真正听到所有我所要说的第一和攻击它的一个圣经的心态，如有需要，这样做。 I will try to be brief, but I fear that I cannot.我会尽量简短，但我害怕，我不能。
I whole-heartedly agree with the qualities listed, and I feel that, likewise, a Christian man should look for similar qualities in a girl, though in different degrees and perhaps with different emphasis. i衷心同意与素质上市，我觉得，同样地，基督教男子应寻求类似的素质，在一个女孩，虽然在不同程度上也许有不同的重点。 However, this has become a great frustration of mine.不过，这已成为一个伟大的挫折感，排雷。 A little bit of background about myself first perhaps would help.一点点的背景有关自己第一次，也许会有助益。 I am 24 and have only dated one girl ever.我和24月只有一个女孩。 However, we dated for about 7 years, and I was months away from proposing when she broke up with me.不过，我们的日期约七年，我是个月，远离提出时，她打破了与我。 We remain friends to this day, and I would not classify our breakup as a messy one.我们仍然朋友在这一天，我不会分类，我们的解体作为一个乱七八糟的一。 Although some would rightfully argue that we were very young for some of those years, I would have to concede that both of us come from solid Christian families, were valedictorians of our high school, and have each always been actively involved in church and various community organizations and activities.虽然有些人会理所当然地认为我们很年轻一些，这些年，我想必须承认，我们都来自坚实的基督教家庭，被valedictorians我们的高中，并已分别一直积极参与在教会和社会各界组织和活动。 I would offer, and I truly believe, that we were both relatively mature for our age.我想提出，我真正相信，我们都比较成熟，为我们的年龄。 Furthermore, though each of us has hurt the other through the natural course of a relationship, for the most part I would have to say that we very much honored God in that relationship.此外，虽然我们每个人都有伤害了其他通过自然的过程中的关系，大部份我不得不说，我们十分荣幸，上帝在这方面的关系。
During the one and a half years since breaking up, I have learned a tremendous amount about love, relationships, forgiveness, and healing a broken heart.在一个半以来，打破了，我学到了大量关于爱情，人际关系，宽恕与愈合1破碎的心。 God has used this situation, though at times I had wished He hadn’t, to teach me strength, integrity, and how to more closely rely on Him.上帝用了这种情况下，虽然有时我希望他没有，教导我的实力，完整，以及如何更加紧密地依赖于他。 I have learned that true love is not about one’s own happiness, as so often our society preaches, but about sacrificing your own wants and desires for the betterment of another.我了解到，真正的爱情是不是关于一个自己的幸福，因此，往往我们的社会宣扬，但约牺牲自己的希望和愿望，为改善另一个。 This is not to say that one should become a miserable wreck, serving every want of that other person, while living in a personal misery.这是不是说一应成为一个悲惨的破坏，服务每一个想要的，其他人，而生活在一个个人的苦难。 Contrarily, I have found that the model of true love, given to us by God Himself, is one of patient forgiveness, calm direction, and at times, confident discipline.相反，我发现，该模型的真正的爱情，给我们的子民，神要亲自之一，是病人的宽恕，平静的方向，有时，有信心的纪律。
To get to the point: it has been my observation that a large number of Christian women want so badly to find a man embodying the characteristics listed, and yet will find all sorts of reasons to either shy away from any kind of a commitment with such a man, or will allow themselves to be pursued by men who don’t fit such standards.去这一点：它已被我的观察，大量的基督教妇女要这么差，以寻找一名男子，体现特色上市，但会寻找各种理由，要么回避任何形式的承诺，这样的一名男子，或将让自己所要追求的男人谁不符合这些标准。
It will be very hard for me to not seem arrogant to you with only the option to write you my words instead of live them in person, but please try to hear what I am really saying.那将是非常努力，我似乎不是傲慢，你只有选择写你我的话，而是活在他们的人，但请你尝试听到什么，我真的说。 In reference to the points above: 1.在参考上述各项要点： 1 。 God is my Saviour and I strive to walk closer with Him daily, despite the pain I sometimes must go through 2.上帝是我的救主，我努力走更紧密的与他的每日，尽管疼痛，有时候我都要经过2 。 I very openly have shared my feelings with those I care deeply for 3.我很公开分享我的心情与我深切3 。 I have a dry sense of humor, but this girl has always said that I was good at making her laugh, for the right reasons, and we always had random acts of goofy entertainment as well as lots of healthy, God-centered romance 4.我有一个干的幽默感，但这个女孩一直说我是善于使她笑，为正确的理由，和我们一直有随机的行为，疯疯癫癫的娱乐，以及大量的健康，神为本的浪漫4 。 I have an amazing, well-paying job as an engineer, have very little debt, and have a God-given gift for managing finances 5.我有一个惊人的，以及高薪的工作作为一名工程师，很少有债务，并有一个上帝赐予的礼物理财5 。 This is where I slack!这是我呆滞！ Not really, so much.不是真的，这么多。 I played sports throughout high school and intramurals in college, but am not rippling with muscles nor do I look like Matthew McConaughey (unfortunately, right girls?!)我打体育在整个高中和intramurals在高校，但我不波及与肌肉，我也不像是马修McConaughey ） （不幸的是，女孩的权利吗！ ）
Furthermore, this girl to this day still says she finds me attractive, funny, and looks up to me as a spiritual leader.此外，这个小女孩在这一天仍然说，她发现我的吸引力，搞笑，并期待对我作为一个精神领袖。 So my question is: What am I doing wrong?因此，我的问题是：什么，我做的不对呢？
Honestly, I love this girl so incredibly much.老实说，我爱这个女孩，所以令人难以置信。 She is far more attractive to me in every single way than any other girl I’ve met, whether that be physically, emotionally, or spiritually.她是到目前为止，更具吸引力的，我在每一个单一的途径，比任何其他女孩我找到了我，无论是身体，情感上，或精神上的。 I have not met a girl close to my age who shows more love and a caring heart for others and service to God than this girl.我还没有遇到一个女孩接近我的年龄谁表明，更多的爱和爱心为他人服务和向上帝比这个女孩。 I don’t say that lightly, as I am comparing her to some amazing examples of Godly females from my family, a family that has not experienced divorce.我不说，掉以轻心，因为我比较，她的一些惊人的例子，正直的女性，从我的家庭，一个家庭有没有经历过离婚。 I look chiefly to my mom (who has been married to my dad for almost 30 years) and my grandmother (who is a pastor’s wife and former missionary to Chile, and has been married for 50 years).我期待，主要是我的妈妈（谁的婚姻已经到我的爸爸了近30年）和我的祖母（谁是牧师的妻子和前传教，以智利，并已结婚50年） 。 This girl is probably very similar to many of you reading this, in that she loves to relax, have fun, read a book, laugh with friends, and pursue success in many areas of life (which she does in her career as an accountant).这名女童可能是非常相似，你们中许多人看了这本，在她爱放宽，有乐趣，读一本书，笑着与朋友交流，追求成功，在生活的许多领域（她是否在她的职业生涯作为一个会计师） 。 She is known for being such a warm, caring person to so many people.她是已知的被这样的温暖，关怀人，所以很多人。 That comes not just from me, as indeed I have already given away my bias since I love her, but because a large number of Christian and non-Christian guys pursue her.来的不只是从我，事实上，我已远离我的偏见，因为我爱她，而是因为大量的基督教和非基督教家伙追求她。
I am not so much looking for guidance or advice for my situation, as I have only to continue to pray and seek God’s will daily in my own life.我不这么多寻找指导或意见，为我的情况，正如我刚才不仅要继续祈祷，并寻求上帝的意愿，每天在我自己的生活。 Because of God’s love for me, I have gained an enormous amount of confidence in who I am, and I hope that that is conveyed in this “book” I’m writing (it’s getting to be tremendously long – I’m sorry).因为上帝的爱对我来说，我获得了大量的信心，我是谁，我希望这是转达了在这“书”我写作（它的获得要大大长-我'米很抱歉） 。 My hope is that you don’t write me off as cocky, but listen to what I’m about to say, as I’m trying to wrap this up.我希望您不要收件箱小康作为刺耳，但听什么，我将要说的话，正如我试图总结这个了。
My main prayer and hope in writing this is that many of you Christian girls will hear me when I say that Christian guys, and guys in general, have in large part not measured up to the kind of men you are looking for and need.我的主要祈祷，并希望在写作，这是许多基督徒的女孩，你会听到我，当我说基督教的家伙，和一般的家伙，已经在很大一部分没有测量到种男人你正在寻找和需要。 Frankly, most guys, including myself, have a large tendency to be what you might and probably have called jerks.坦白说，大多数球员，包括我自己在内，有一个大的趋势，要什么，您可能和可能有所谓的jerks 。 I would certainly venture my opinion that, in general, there are far more girls with a Christ-centered mentality and a gentle spirit than there are guys with the same.我一定会创业，我认为，一般而言，有更多的女孩与基督为本的心态和温柔的精神比有球员具有相同。 Consequently, many women are hurt, broken-hearted, and want to give up, and they often do, settling for guys they know they don’t want, but are trying anything to get rid of the pain of loneliness.因此，很多妇女受到伤害，打破了心，并不愿放弃，他们往往做的，为解决家伙，他们知道他们不想，但正试图有所摆脱的痛苦，孤独。 Believe me, I VERY MUCH understand the pain of loneliness.请相信我，我十分理解的痛苦，孤独。 (I failed to mention that this past year, I went to 23 weddings, 8 of which I was in – all close friends. I no longer have a single friend, they’re all married. I know what loneliness feels like - I so badly want to be married!) （我没有提到过去这一年，我去了23日的婚礼，八月，而我是在-所有亲密的朋友，我不再有一个单一的朋友，他们都是已婚，我知道什么孤独感觉就像-我谨此急切想要结婚的！ ）
HOWEVER it has become quite frustrating to me to find so many good, Christian men – guys with character in all the right places, continue to be rejected or passed over by Christian women who claim to be looking for the very qualities that these men possess, those embodied by the above list.不过，它已成为相当令人沮丧的我找到这么多好，基督教的男子-球员与性格在所有适当的地方，继续被否决或通过由基督教妇女谁自称为寻找非常的素质，这些男子拥有，这些所体现的上述名单。 I have seen time after time, guys I have met through various church-related and other functions try so hard to rid their own feeling of loneliness and resentment due to years of pain, only to find a Christian girl, even go on a few dates with her, only to find that she suddenly won’t respond, or won’t offer any sort of reason why she’s not interested or unwilling to give effort back.我所看到的时间后，时间，家伙我见过透过各种与教会有关的功能和其他功能尝试，所以很难摆脱自己的孤独感和反感，由于多年的疼痛，才发现是一个基督教的女孩，甚至对数的日期与她，才发现她突然将不予回应，或将不提供任何形式的原因，她的不感兴趣，或不愿意让的努力回。 All the while, I hear countless places and see countless sites such as this one that tell me how there are so many girls looking for that man of Godly character.所有与此同时，我听到了无数的地方，看到无数的网站像这样一说，告诉我怎么有这么多的女孩在寻找这名男子的正直品格。
I sincerely hope that I don’t cause offense, rather that I help each of you, whether you are a Christian girl or a Christian guy, or even not a Christian, to examine your own life and make sure that you are truly walking with a God who loves us, the same God who, in the human form as Jesus freely loved even the weirdest and outcast of society.我衷心希望我不进攻的原因，而不是我，相互帮助，对你，无论你是一个基督教的女孩或基督教的家伙，或什至不是一个基督徒，研究自己的生活，并且一定要知道你是真正的走路谁是上帝爱我们，同样的上帝谁，在人类的形式，作为耶稣的爱自由，甚至weirdest和抛弃社会。 Or perhaps to put it in perspective, Jesus, along with His and our heavenly Father, loved(s) even those people who perhaps aren’t as outgoing, or some might say “confident”, as those around them. ，或者把它的角度看，耶稣，随着他和我们的天父，爱（ ） ，即使这些人谁，也许并不如即将离任的，或有些人可能会说“有信心” ，因为这些他们周围。 Yet they still might have a truly wonderful heart if only one were willing to get past that.然而，他们仍然可能有一个真正美好的心，如果只有一个人愿意让过去。
Wow this was long!哇，这是长期的！ But I hope that it provides some in-depth thought and discussion, and perhaps even some self-reflection.但我希望它提供了一些深层次的思考和讨论，甚至有些自我反思。
In Christ.在基督里。
Eric李家祥
