Christian Single Parents

Kermit the frog says it not easy being green. Move over Kermie, being a Christian single parent is a much harder job…and more lonely. Perhaps this prayer by an anonymous Christian single parent says it all:

“Lord, grant me Time Enough to do all the chores, join in the games, help with the lessons, and say the night prayers, and still have a few moments left over for me;

Energy Enough to be bread-baker and breadwinner, knee patcher and peacemaker, ballplayer and bill juggler;

Hands Enough to wipe away the tears, to reach out when I’m needed, to hug and to hold, to tickle and touch;

Heart Enough to share and to care, to listen and understand, and to make a loving home for my family.”

Phew! I got stressed out just reading it. One of my friends who is a single parent dad to two minor children was discussing the possibilities of using an online Christian dating service. “Eharmony? Christian Cafe? Who has time for single parent dating, and how would the kids handle that? No, with all my daily responsibilities I barely have time to use the bathroom! What I really need are some single parent stress reducers.”

If you are a single parent mom or single dad, and feeling a little like my friend, you’re not alone. Single parent-led households have skyrocketed over the past decade all across Europe, Australia and the U.S. In fact, according to the US Census Bureau, there are over 14 million single parent-led households in the U.S. alone. And many of these folks are single Christians.

Christian Single Parents and Their Needs

Single Christian parents have overwhelming spiritual, emotional and physical needs. Yet, polls also show they are one of the least likely groups to attend church. Why is this?

Money saving worries have led some single parents to work several jobs in order to make ends meet, and they simply do not have the time. Many others, however, feel excluded or stigmatized by the church, and so stay at home. In a nutshell, single parenting is stressful. Period.

When the Scriptures states that believers should care for the poor, the widows and the defenseless, this group of people is not too far removed. Churches and single parent ministries have a great opportunity to show the love of Jesus in this area.

If you are a single Christian parent, and struggling with the burdens of life. let me remind you of some wonderful things:

Stop feeling guilty! You cannot do it all, no matter what that single parent prayer says. So take a bow (you deserve it!) for the job you are doing and rest in the One who can do it all, and who wants to help you bear the load (Psalms 55:22, Psalms 91, 1Peter 5:7).
Plan a little time just for you in order to recharge. Even Jesus got away into the wilderness to pray for a while, apart from his kids…the disciples! If that means a bubble bath and a great book, go for it.
Join a singles group fellowship where you can encourage others and be encouraged. It’s what the Lord wants for you (Hebrews 10:25). While many churches are failing to meet the needs of singles and single parents dating, there are those who have formed local Christian singles support groups and specialized ministries for parents and kids. Find one and stick with it. You and your kids will both be happier for it.
Remember to leave your anxieties with Jesus, who promises never to leave you (or your kids) nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5). Are these just empty words, or real promises from a Heavenly Father?

Finally, because we believe local fellowship is a great place to grow spiritually and meet other singles with similar issues, Christian-Dating-Service-PLUS.com is in the process of listing all known singles group ministries in one place for your easy access. If you know of a singles group ministry or single Christian parent support group that should be listed, submit it to us here. Please also consider helping other Christian single parents and other singles by posting your comments

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Comments

13 Responses to “Christian Single Parents”

tonya harclerode on April 12th, 2007 7:54 pm

I am very much interested in dating single male christians. I am a sbf christian in nj.
Jennifer on May 23rd, 2007 10:13 pm

I am a single christian mother of three (only my 8 year girl is at home). I struggle with all the doubts, worries, ect of not given her the traditional family life as well as having the support from others in teaching her. I don’t know think that I am looking to date, I believe if it’s God’s will that will happen, don’t go looking for extra trouble so to speak. I just want to know that I am not alone in my struggles as a single christian parent and wonder how other’s deal with it. There are very few single parents in my church so there aren’ many who can relate.
David Butler on May 24th, 2007 11:17 am

We are definitely praying for you Christian single parents. Email us with info on where you both reside (the general area, and we will try to make referrals to Christian single fellowships for you…

Blessings!

David
Louisa on November 11th, 2007 7:57 am

Hello everybody
I’m Italian , I teach English, I’m 46 and I’ve got two children (19 and 16 years old). My husband left us three years ago with neighbour”friend”… now they live together. I’ve tried to recover from this loss , this terrible pain ..but still I can’t… I’ve also realised that even if I need another man it’s impossible for me to have a normal relationship with another one… I was convinced that the only one for me was my husband and I can’t fight this feeling… I can’t … The story is too long … I can’t say everything . Thank you…. bye Louise
kate on November 14th, 2007 3:20 am

I am a single christian mother of three (only my 8 year girl is at home). I struggle with all the doubts, worries, ect of not given her the traditional family life as well as having the support from others in teaching her. I don’t know think that I am looking to date, I believe if it’s God’s will that will happen, don’t go looking for extra trouble so to speak. I just want to know that I am not alone in my struggles as a single christian parent and wonder how other’s deal with it. There are very few single parents in my church so there aren’ many who can relate.

Hi Jennifer, you are not alone, I am a single mother too. and I know there are so many single christan parent in my area, if you want to meet more single parent, i suggest you should go out or search some online dating site, like I met some solo parents on singleparentdate.com, You can choose some online dating service to date and have chat with them too. good luck!
Dana on April 8th, 2008 4:26 pm

Dios esta en control. Gracias por esta pagina en los planes de vida que tenia no estaba quedarme viuda tengo una hija de 3 años y me he alejado de la iglesia por muchos motivos y gracias a esta pagina veo que no soy la unica…orare por que esta pagina sea de gran bendicion para muchas personas que estan en mi misma situacion. Sigan adelante y gracias por pensar en nosotros que de verdad nencesitamos mucha Fuerza para seguir adelante.
Deana on July 28th, 2008 2:20 am

I am a single mother of 2. I have never been married and did things wrong the first time and pray to God that he will help me to do things better. I have always wanted to get married and that was always my dream. I want to meet a Godly man. I want to be attracted to him as well. I did on line dating and the guys were nice and christian, but I was not physically attracted to them. Does that make me a bad person. I want to be able to meet with other single mothers so that I can express some of my stress and have somebody that understands what I am going through.
Temikia on July 31st, 2008 2:39 pm

I am a single mother of a 2 year old son. He is the best gift that has ever happened to me However, I too oftenstruggle with the guilt and shame that came with being a Christian and a single parent. (I was very involved in church when I became pregnant with my son. I was going through a rough time and I ran to the wrong arms!) I would also like to see a support group for single parents in the church. If anyone knows of anything around the Central Texas area, please post it on this site! Stay encouraged single fathers and mothers, with God’s help we will see great things for ourselves and our families! Much love
Tonya on August 5th, 2008 3:55 am

I am a Christian, single mother of a wondeful 6 year old daughter. She is the joy of my life. I do often struggle though with the management of time—still! Often times I feel selfish because I want (and need) my time. My daughter is involved in extracirricular activities and has playmates, but it seems as though it’s “NEVER ENOUGH”. I think it’s hard too because she is an only child. I play card games, we read together, watch movies together,…you name it, we do it. I know she needs my time and attention yet sometimes I know she’s lonely because it’s just her. Pray for me as I continue to strive for balance in our lives.
Katie on September 6th, 2008 2:20 am

I can relate to most of you i am a single parent of 4 my ex and the father of my children left soon after i found out i was expecting #4 he got into drugs i tryed for years to make it work but finally had to let him go now he dosen’t even contact the children! It would be really nice to meet other single parents!
Neeli on February 17th, 2009 5:39 am

I have two wonderful kids, 3 and 7. The children’s father left three years ago, soon after finding out our oldest son had a disability similar to Asperger’s (mild autism). He has since moved in with his 19 year old girlfriend,
This has all brought me closer to God, but also left a terrible wound in all of our hearts. We have had to move to Denver to get the help my son needs, which has further isolated us. His new school is working wonders and I am willing to go to the ends of the earth to get him what he needs, but we could sure use some Christian friends and prayers!
Isabella Thomas on May 6th, 2009 7:47 pm

I am a born again Christian. I have 3 children from age 2-8. I am 25 years old and would say I am quite attractive. The father of my children was abusive so I left him. We were unmarried and it’s been nearly two years now and I would love to get married to a christian man. I was courting someone for 5 months but he admitted that although he had feelings for me he wasn’t ready to take on the responsibitlity of my children. I am celibate too which is hard because I feel like a total reject. Whyw ould a decent christian man choosee to marry me rather than a virgin? I do’t have trouble attracting men and I know I should focus on God alone, but instinctively I pine over my dream of meeting and marrying my mate. How would I go about meeting someone who could fit all I am looking for? I’m in the UK and single christian events are thin on the ground…and ten there;s the issue of finding a babysitter…
Victoria on June 8th, 2009 9:28 pm

I am scared to be posting something on this site. I am a 55 year old solo parent to an 11 year old son. After years of failed infertility treatments, my husband left. A year later I adopted my son from birth—desperate to be a Mom but never dreaming how difficult single parenting was, especially a Mom raising a little boy.

I have had two boyfriends since my divorce. The first one I mistakenly allowed to become too close to my son. In the second relationship I was more careful.

I have not dated seriously for five years. I have tried eharmony and Christian Cafe; but there are few matches in my geographical area (the San Francisco Bay area) and the few matches that have taken place haven’t amounted to anything. I am pretty, very young-looking, and have lots of girlfriends and platonic male friends. So I just guess that God has closed this door for me…and I have given up on online dating.

Now my son really wants me to date–to look for a father for him. And I am lonely. I could use even an email buddy guy with whom to chat about my son.

I feel like I have tried everything. And sometimes I think my situation is a natural consequence of my decision to adopt as a solo parent—a decision that was unfair to my son. But I pray that God will not let my willfulness hurt my son.

I’m not sure what I hope to accomplish by posting this. Advice? Prayers? All are appreciated.

God bless,

Victoria