Christian Single Parents

Christian single parentKermit the frog says it not easy being green. Move over Kermie, being a Christian single parent is a much harder job…and more lonely. Perhaps this prayer by an anonymous Christian single parent says it all:

“Lord, grant me Time Enough to do all the chores, join in the games, help with the lessons, and say the night prayers, and still have a few moments left over for me;

Energy Enough to be bread-baker and breadwinner, knee patcher and peacemaker, ballplayer and bill juggler;

Hands Enough to wipe away the tears, to reach out when I’m needed, to hug and to hold, to tickle and touch;

Heart Enough to share and to care, to listen and understand, and to make a loving home for my family.”

Phew! I got stressed out just reading it. One of my friends who is a single parent dad to two minor children was discussing the possibilities of using an online Christian dating service. “Eharmony? Christian Cafe? Who has time for single parent dating, and how would the kids handle that? No, with all my daily responsibilities I barely have time to use the bathroom! What I really need are some single parent stress reducers.”

If you are a single parent mom or single dad, and feeling a little like my friend, you’re not alone. Single parent-led households have skyrocketed over the past decade all across Europe, Australia and the U.S. In fact, according to the US Census Bureau, there are over 14 million single parent-led households in the U.S. alone. And many of these folks are single Christians.

Christian Single Parents and Their Needs

Single Christian parents have overwhelming spiritual, emotional and physical needs. Yet, polls also show they are one of the least likely groups to attend church. Why is this?

Money saving worries have led some single parents to work several jobs in order to make ends meet, and they simply do not have the time. Many others, however, feel excluded or stigmatized by the church, and so stay at home. In a nutshell, single parenting is stressful. Period.

When the Scriptures states that believers should care for the poor, the widows and the defenseless, this group of people is not too far removed. Churches and single parent ministries have a great opportunity to show the love of Jesus in this area.

If you are a single Christian parent, and struggling with the burdens of life. let me remind you of some wonderful things:

  • Stop feeling guilty! You cannot do it all, no matter what that single parent prayer says. So take a bow (you deserve it!) for the job you are doing and rest in the One who can do it all, and who wants to help you bear the load (Psalms 55:22, Psalms 91, 1Peter 5:7).
  • Plan a little time just for you in order to recharge. Even Jesus got away into the wilderness to pray for a while, apart from his kids…the disciples! If that means a bubble bath and a great book, go for it.
  • Join a singles group fellowship where you can encourage others and be encouraged. It’s what the Lord wants for you (Hebrews 10:25). While many churches are failing to meet the needs of singles and single parents dating, there are those who have formed local Christian singles support groups and specialized ministries for parents and kids. Find one and stick with it. You and your kids will both be happier for it.
  • Remember to leave your anxieties with Jesus, who promises never to leave you (or your kids) nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5). Are these just empty words, or real promises from a Heavenly Father?

Finally, because we believe local fellowship is a great place to grow spiritually and meet other singles with similar issues, Christian-Dating-Service-PLUS.com is in the process of listing all known singles group ministries in one place for your easy access. If you know of a singles group ministry or single Christian parent support group that should be listed, submit it to us here. Please also consider helping other Christian single parents and other singles by posting your comments

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Comments

21 Responses to “Christian Single Parents”

  1. tonya harclerode on April 12th, 2007 7:54 pm

    I am very much interested in dating single male christians. I am a sbf christian in nj.

  2. Jennifer on May 23rd, 2007 10:13 pm

    I am a single christian mother of three (only my 8 year girl is at home). I struggle with all the doubts, worries, ect of not given her the traditional family life as well as having the support from others in teaching her. I don’t know think that I am looking to date, I believe if it’s God’s will that will happen, don’t go looking for extra trouble so to speak. I just want to know that I am not alone in my struggles as a single christian parent and wonder how other’s deal with it. There are very few single parents in my church so there aren’ many who can relate.

  3. David Butler on May 24th, 2007 11:17 am

    We are definitely praying for you Christian single parents. Email us with info on where you both reside (the general area, and we will try to make referrals to Christian single fellowships for you…

    Blessings!

    David

  4. Louisa on November 11th, 2007 7:57 am

    Hello everybody
    I’m Italian , I teach English, I’m 46 and I’ve got two children (19 and 16 years old). My husband left us three years ago with neighbour”friend”… now they live together. I’ve tried to recover from this loss , this terrible pain ..but still I can’t… I’ve also realised that even if I need another man it’s impossible for me to have a normal relationship with another one… I was convinced that the only one for me was my husband and I can’t fight this feeling… I can’t … The story is too long … I can’t say everything . Thank you…. bye Louise

  5. kate on November 14th, 2007 3:20 am

    I am a single christian mother of three (only my 8 year girl is at home). I struggle with all the doubts, worries, ect of not given her the traditional family life as well as having the support from others in teaching her. I don’t know think that I am looking to date, I believe if it’s God’s will that will happen, don’t go looking for extra trouble so to speak. I just want to know that I am not alone in my struggles as a single christian parent and wonder how other’s deal with it. There are very few single parents in my church so there aren’ many who can relate.

    Hi Jennifer, you are not alone, I am a single mother too. and I know there are so many single christan parent in my area, if you want to meet more single parent, i suggest you should go out or search some online dating site, like I met some solo parents on singleparentdate.com, You can choose some online dating service to date and have chat with them too. good luck!

  6. Dana on April 8th, 2008 4:26 pm

    Dios esta en control. Gracias por esta pagina en los planes de vida que tenia no estaba quedarme viuda tengo una hija de 3 años y me he alejado de la iglesia por muchos motivos y gracias a esta pagina veo que no soy la unica…orare por que esta pagina sea de gran bendicion para muchas personas que estan en mi misma situacion. Sigan adelante y gracias por pensar en nosotros que de verdad nencesitamos mucha Fuerza para seguir adelante.

  7. Deana on July 28th, 2008 2:20 am

    I am a single mother of 2. I have never been married and did things wrong the first time and pray to God that he will help me to do things better. I have always wanted to get married and that was always my dream. I want to meet a Godly man. I want to be attracted to him as well. I did on line dating and the guys were nice and christian, but I was not physically attracted to them. Does that make me a bad person. I want to be able to meet with other single mothers so that I can express some of my stress and have somebody that understands what I am going through.

  8. Temikia on July 31st, 2008 2:39 pm

    I am a single mother of a 2 year old son. He is the best gift that has ever happened to me However, I too oftenstruggle with the guilt and shame that came with being a Christian and a single parent. (I was very involved in church when I became pregnant with my son. I was going through a rough time and I ran to the wrong arms!) I would also like to see a support group for single parents in the church. If anyone knows of anything around the Central Texas area, please post it on this site! Stay encouraged single fathers and mothers, with God’s help we will see great things for ourselves and our families! Much love

  9. Tonya on August 5th, 2008 3:55 am

    I am a Christian, single mother of a wondeful 6 year old daughter. She is the joy of my life. I do often struggle though with the management of time—still! Often times I feel selfish because I want (and need) my time. My daughter is involved in extracirricular activities and has playmates, but it seems as though it’s “NEVER ENOUGH”. I think it’s hard too because she is an only child. I play card games, we read together, watch movies together,…you name it, we do it. I know she needs my time and attention yet sometimes I know she’s lonely because it’s just her. Pray for me as I continue to strive for balance in our lives.

  10. Katie on September 6th, 2008 2:20 am

    I can relate to most of you i am a single parent of 4 my ex and the father of my children left soon after i found out i was expecting #4 he got into drugs i tryed for years to make it work but finally had to let him go now he dosen’t even contact the children! It would be really nice to meet other single parents!

  11. Neeli on February 17th, 2009 5:39 am

    I have two wonderful kids, 3 and 7. The children’s father left three years ago, soon after finding out our oldest son had a disability similar to Asperger’s (mild autism). He has since moved in with his 19 year old girlfriend,
    This has all brought me closer to God, but also left a terrible wound in all of our hearts. We have had to move to Denver to get the help my son needs, which has further isolated us. His new school is working wonders and I am willing to go to the ends of the earth to get him what he needs, but we could sure use some Christian friends and prayers!

  12. Isabella Thomas on May 6th, 2009 7:47 pm

    I am a born again Christian. I have 3 children from age 2-8. I am 25 years old and would say I am quite attractive. The father of my children was abusive so I left him. We were unmarried and it’s been nearly two years now and I would love to get married to a christian man. I was courting someone for 5 months but he admitted that although he had feelings for me he wasn’t ready to take on the responsibitlity of my children. I am celibate too which is hard because I feel like a total reject. Whyw ould a decent christian man choosee to marry me rather than a virgin? I do’t have trouble attracting men and I know I should focus on God alone, but instinctively I pine over my dream of meeting and marrying my mate. How would I go about meeting someone who could fit all I am looking for? I’m in the UK and single christian events are thin on the ground…and ten there;s the issue of finding a babysitter…

  13. Victoria on June 8th, 2009 9:28 pm

    I am scared to be posting something on this site. I am a 55 year old solo parent to an 11 year old son. After years of failed infertility treatments, my husband left. A year later I adopted my son from birth—desperate to be a Mom but never dreaming how difficult single parenting was, especially a Mom raising a little boy.

    I have had two boyfriends since my divorce. The first one I mistakenly allowed to become too close to my son. In the second relationship I was more careful.

    I have not dated seriously for five years. I have tried eharmony and Christian Cafe; but there are few matches in my geographical area (the San Francisco Bay area) and the few matches that have taken place haven’t amounted to anything. I am pretty, very young-looking, and have lots of girlfriends and platonic male friends. So I just guess that God has closed this door for me…and I have given up on online dating.

    Now my son really wants me to date–to look for a father for him. And I am lonely. I could use even an email buddy guy with whom to chat about my son.

    I feel like I have tried everything. And sometimes I think my situation is a natural consequence of my decision to adopt as a solo parent—a decision that was unfair to my son. But I pray that God will not let my willfulness hurt my son.

    I’m not sure what I hope to accomplish by posting this. Advice? Prayers? All are appreciated.

    God bless,

    Victoria

  14. Louise on July 26th, 2009 10:18 am

    Hi all Single Mums.

    Over the past 10 years the one thing I have learned about being a happy single parent is aiming for balance.
    Don’t let yourself get too tired or put on. I have 1 son so I encourage his friends to come and play loads.
    Most of their parents are married non-Christan couples who hardly ever return the favour but it has meant that he has company a lot of the time and stops him feeling like so much of an only child.
    It’s not always easy though, not many people really understand how tiring it can be at times and yes there is that aching for a traditional family life but there are plenty of couples out there who are in a family set up who dream of escape too!!
    Keep the faith. God always looks after us in the end. xxx

  15. Maggie on July 29th, 2009 6:00 am

    Hey guyz, I’m a single mom to a 1 year old. I looove my baby boy aloot! I got pregnant when I was born again & felt guilty. God’s good though, He has loved on my son & I, been our perfect daddy. I honestly have learnt to totally depend & trust in Him in EVERYTHING. Psa 68:5, & He’s a very involved father & mom (for the single dads). Ask Him to reveal that side of Him, He wil. Love you guyz & know you never alone.

  16. Jodi on August 4th, 2009 4:32 pm

    Dear Maggie,

    I just love reading your comments. Often it is hard for Christians to see God as a “Daddy” figure. but that is exactly what he is. Jesus even referred to God his father as “Abba” which translated means Daddy.

    You are truly blessed!

    Jodi
    Christian Singles Blog Moderator

  17. Matt on August 22nd, 2009 3:45 am

    I am a single father of three, Growing up in a strict christian home, I learnd good values for the life that God had planned for me. When I began dating in junior and senior high I slowly straid away from the values and teachings of my pastor and family about putting God first in every dession I made. I put my own feelings ahead of what I knew God wanted for me. Im not saying I regret the choices I made while dating at my young age. But that I should have talked with God, my pastor and family, before making some of the dession’s I made. I guess I can’t say that my marriage failed, but that it just wasn’t God’s plan. I know God has a plan for me. And I am making a promise to God tonight that I will be paciant and listen to His guidence more closely.

  18. Misti on December 1st, 2009 2:21 am

    Hi, I just came across this website tonight and felt like I should also tell my story in short form. I am a single mom, living in Texas with 2 wonderful
    teenage girls. Just today I have started feeling very discouraged about life. I know God will take care of us, but I dont want to spend the rest of my days without a father figure for my kids, and also without someone that will grow old with me. I have tried online dating and it is very hard to find someone with the convictions that I have in this life. I am not sure what caused me to write this, maybe just to vent, idk.
    Good luck to everyone and your adventures. May God bless you all!

  19. Natalie on December 13th, 2009 4:05 am

    I was in my local Christian bookstore this week looking for resources for Christian single parents. Sad to say, I couldn’t find any. From my experience, it seems like the church (in general) doesn’t know how to handle this growing population. I’m discouraged at the lack of help offered to us from the church. There is still a stigma attached to be a single parent, and unfortunately, our Christian brothers and sisters still don’t know how to handle it. It’s a feeling of isolation. So, toinght I decided to look online to see what was out there. I’m not saying all churches or Christians fall short in this area. I personally haven’t found much support. Anyone else feel this way?

  20. lisa on March 24th, 2010 11:28 pm

    wow” i have read every post here and i have to say, that you guys are courageous for telling your stories, I just pray that the lord deals with every broken heart, heal every wound, dries every tear, and gives stregnth to every soul in here, god says to first seek his kingdom and the rest will come, first seek God and his will then he will bring the right person at the right time..God bless…..

  21. peter dempster on August 6th, 2010 9:54 pm

    Hi I’m Peter from Belfast,

    Unmarried father of two. Broken unequal relationship. See my boys every other day. Living For Jesus and His coming Kingdom :)

    are you out there?

    In Him

    peterpublish@yahoo.co.uk

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