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Christian Single Parents

Christian Single ParentsKermit the frog says it not easy being green. Move over Kermie, being Christian single parents is a much harder job…and more lonely. Perhaps this prayer by an anonymous Christian single parent says it all:

“Lord, grant me Time Enough to do all the chores, join in the games, help with the lessons, and say the night prayers, and still have a few moments left over for me;

Energy Enough to be bread-baker and breadwinner, knee patcher and peacemaker, ballplayer and bill juggler;

Hands Enough to wipe away the tears, to reach out when I’m needed, to hug and to hold, to tickle and touch;

Heart Enough to share and to care, to listen and understand, and to make a loving home for my family.”

Phew! I got stressed out just reading it. One of my friends who is a single parent dad to two minor children was discussing the possibilities of using an online Christian dating service. “Eharmony? Christian Cafe? Who has time for single parent dating, and how would the kids handle that? No, with all my daily responsibilities I barely have time to use the bathroom! What I really need are some single parent stress reducers.”

If you are a single parent mom or single dad, and feeling a little like my friend, you’re not alone. Single parent-led households have skyrocketed over the past decade all across Europe, Australia and the U.S. In fact, according to Pew Research, over 34% of US families are single parent-led households. And many of these folks are single Christian parents.

Christian Single Parents and Their Needs

Single Christian parents have overwhelming spiritual, emotional and physical needs. Yet, polls also show they are one of the least likely groups to attend church. Why is this?

Money saving worries have led some single parents to work several jobs in order to make ends meet, and they simply do not have the time. Many others, however, feel excluded or stigmatized by the church, and so stay at home. In a nutshell, single parenting is stressful. Period.

When the Scriptures states that believers should care for the poor, the widows and the defenseless, Christian single parents are not too far removed. Churches and single parent ministries have a great opportunity to show the love of Jesus in this area.

If you are a single Christian parent, and struggling with the burdens of life. let me remind you of some wonderful things:

  • Stop feeling guilty! You cannot do it all, no matter what that single parent prayer says. So take a bow (you deserve it!) for the job you are doing and rest in the One who can do it all, and who wants to help you bear the load (Psalms 55:22, Psalms 91, 1Peter 5:7).
  • Plan a little time just for you in order to recharge. Even Jesus got away into the wilderness to pray for a while, apart from his kids…the disciples! If that means a bubble bath and a great book, go for it.
  • Join a singles group fellowship where you can encourage others and be encouraged. It’s what the Lord wants for you (Hebrews 10:25). While many churches are failing to meet the needs of singles and single parents dating, there are those who have formed local Christian singles support groups and specialized ministries for parents and kids. Find one and stick with it. You and your kids will both be happier for it.
  • Remember to leave your anxieties with Jesus, who promises never to leave you (or your kids) nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5). Are these just empty words, or real promises from a Heavenly Father?

Finally, because we believe local fellowship is a great place to grow spiritually and meet other singles with similar issues, Oasis-Church-NJ.com is in the process of listing all known singles group ministries in one place for your easy access. If you know of a singles group ministry or single Christian parent support group that should be listed, submit it to us here. Please also consider helping other Christian single parents and other singles by posting your comments

Christian Dating Service

29 Comments

  1. tonya harclerode

    I am very much interested in dating single male christians. I am a sbf christian in nj.

  2. We are definitely praying for you Christian single parents. Email us with info on where you both reside (the general area, and we will try to make referrals to Christian single fellowships for you…

    Blessings!

    David

  3. Hello everybody
    I’m Italian , I teach English, I’m 46 and I’ve got two children (19 and 16 years old). My husband left us three years ago with neighbour”friend”… now they live together. I’ve tried to recover from this loss , this terrible pain ..but still I can’t… I’ve also realised that even if I need another man it’s impossible for me to have a normal relationship with another one… I was convinced that the only one for me was my husband and I can’t fight this feeling… I can’t … The story is too long … I can’t say everything . Thank you…. bye Louise

  4. Dios esta en control. Gracias por esta pagina en los planes de vida que tenia no estaba quedarme viuda tengo una hija de 3 años y me he alejado de la iglesia por muchos motivos y gracias a esta pagina veo que no soy la unica…orare por que esta pagina sea de gran bendicion para muchas personas que estan en mi misma situacion. Sigan adelante y gracias por pensar en nosotros que de verdad nencesitamos mucha Fuerza para seguir adelante.

  5. I am a single mother of 2. I have never been married and did things wrong the first time and pray to God that he will help me to do things better. I have always wanted to get married and that was always my dream. I want to meet a Godly man. I want to be attracted to him as well. I did on line dating and the guys were nice and christian, but I was not physically attracted to them. Does that make me a bad person. I want to be able to meet with other single mothers so that I can express some of my stress and have somebody that understands what I am going through.

  6. I am a single mother of a 2 year old son. He is the best gift that has ever happened to me However, I too oftenstruggle with the guilt and shame that came with being a Christian and a single parent. (I was very involved in church when I became pregnant with my son. I was going through a rough time and I ran to the wrong arms!) I would also like to see a support group for single parents in the church. If anyone knows of anything around the Central Texas area, please post it on this site! Stay encouraged single fathers and mothers, with God’s help we will see great things for ourselves and our families! Much love

  7. I am a Christian, single mother of a wondeful 6 year old daughter. She is the joy of my life. I do often struggle though with the management of time—still! Often times I feel selfish because I want (and need) my time. My daughter is involved in extracirricular activities and has playmates, but it seems as though it’s “NEVER ENOUGH”. I think it’s hard too because she is an only child. I play card games, we read together, watch movies together,…you name it, we do it. I know she needs my time and attention yet sometimes I know she’s lonely because it’s just her. Pray for me as I continue to strive for balance in our lives.

  8. I can relate to most of you i am a single parent of 4 my ex and the father of my children left soon after i found out i was expecting #4 he got into drugs i tryed for years to make it work but finally had to let him go now he dosen’t even contact the children! It would be really nice to meet other single parents!

  9. I have two wonderful kids, 3 and 7. The children’s father left three years ago, soon after finding out our oldest son had a disability similar to Asperger’s (mild autism). He has since moved in with his 19 year old girlfriend,
    This has all brought me closer to God, but also left a terrible wound in all of our hearts. We have had to move to Denver to get the help my son needs, which has further isolated us. His new school is working wonders and I am willing to go to the ends of the earth to get him what he needs, but we could sure use some Christian friends and prayers!

  10. Isabella Thomas

    I am a born again Christian. I have 3 children from age 2-8. I am 25 years old and would say I am quite attractive. The father of my children was abusive so I left him. We were unmarried and it’s been nearly two years now and I would love to get married to a christian man. I was courting someone for 5 months but he admitted that although he had feelings for me he wasn’t ready to take on the responsibitlity of my children. I am celibate too which is hard because I feel like a total reject. Whyw ould a decent christian man choosee to marry me rather than a virgin? I do’t have trouble attracting men and I know I should focus on God alone, but instinctively I pine over my dream of meeting and marrying my mate. How would I go about meeting someone who could fit all I am looking for? I’m in the UK and single christian events are thin on the ground…and ten there;s the issue of finding a babysitter…

  11. I am scared to be posting something on this site. I am a 55 year old solo parent to an 11 year old son. After years of failed infertility treatments, my husband left. A year later I adopted my son from birth—desperate to be a Mom but never dreaming how difficult single parenting was, especially a Mom raising a little boy.

    I have had two boyfriends since my divorce. The first one I mistakenly allowed to become too close to my son. In the second relationship I was more careful.

    I have not dated seriously for five years. I have tried eharmony and Christian Cafe; but there are few matches in my geographical area (the San Francisco Bay area) and the few matches that have taken place haven’t amounted to anything. I am pretty, very young-looking, and have lots of girlfriends and platonic male friends. So I just guess that God has closed this door for me…and I have given up on online dating.

    Now my son really wants me to date–to look for a father for him. And I am lonely. I could use even an email buddy guy with whom to chat about my son.

    I feel like I have tried everything. And sometimes I think my situation is a natural consequence of my decision to adopt as a solo parent—a decision that was unfair to my son. But I pray that God will not let my willfulness hurt my son.

    I’m not sure what I hope to accomplish by posting this. Advice? Prayers? All are appreciated.

    God bless,

    Victoria

  12. Hi all Single Mums.

    Over the past 10 years the one thing I have learned about being a happy single parent is aiming for balance.
    Don’t let yourself get too tired or put on. I have 1 son so I encourage his friends to come and play loads.
    Most of their parents are married non-Christan couples who hardly ever return the favour but it has meant that he has company a lot of the time and stops him feeling like so much of an only child.
    It’s not always easy though, not many people really understand how tiring it can be at times and yes there is that aching for a traditional family life but there are plenty of couples out there who are in a family set up who dream of escape too!!
    Keep the faith. God always looks after us in the end. xxx

  13. Hey guyz, I’m a single mom to a 1 year old. I looove my baby boy aloot! I got pregnant when I was born again & felt guilty. God’s good though, He has loved on my son & I, been our perfect daddy. I honestly have learnt to totally depend & trust in Him in EVERYTHING. Psa 68:5, & He’s a very involved father & mom (for the single dads). Ask Him to reveal that side of Him, He wil. Love you guyz & know you never alone.

  14. Dear Maggie,

    I just love reading your comments. Often it is hard for Christians to see God as a “Daddy” figure. but that is exactly what he is. Jesus even referred to God his father as “Abba” which translated means Daddy.

    You are truly blessed!

    Jodi
    Christian Singles Blog Moderator

  15. I am a single father of three, Growing up in a strict christian home, I learnd good values for the life that God had planned for me. When I began dating in junior and senior high I slowly straid away from the values and teachings of my pastor and family about putting God first in every dession I made. I put my own feelings ahead of what I knew God wanted for me. Im not saying I regret the choices I made while dating at my young age. But that I should have talked with God, my pastor and family, before making some of the dession’s I made. I guess I can’t say that my marriage failed, but that it just wasn’t God’s plan. I know God has a plan for me. And I am making a promise to God tonight that I will be paciant and listen to His guidence more closely.

  16. Hi, I just came across this website tonight and felt like I should also tell my story in short form. I am a single mom, living in Texas with 2 wonderful
    teenage girls. Just today I have started feeling very discouraged about life. I know God will take care of us, but I dont want to spend the rest of my days without a father figure for my kids, and also without someone that will grow old with me. I have tried online dating and it is very hard to find someone with the convictions that I have in this life. I am not sure what caused me to write this, maybe just to vent, idk.
    Good luck to everyone and your adventures. May God bless you all!

  17. I was in my local Christian bookstore this week looking for resources for Christian single parents. Sad to say, I couldn’t find any. From my experience, it seems like the church (in general) doesn’t know how to handle this growing population. I’m discouraged at the lack of help offered to us from the church. There is still a stigma attached to be a single parent, and unfortunately, our Christian brothers and sisters still don’t know how to handle it. It’s a feeling of isolation. So, toinght I decided to look online to see what was out there. I’m not saying all churches or Christians fall short in this area. I personally haven’t found much support. Anyone else feel this way?

  18. wow” i have read every post here and i have to say, that you guys are courageous for telling your stories, I just pray that the lord deals with every broken heart, heal every wound, dries every tear, and gives stregnth to every soul in here, god says to first seek his kingdom and the rest will come, first seek God and his will then he will bring the right person at the right time..God bless…..

  19. I am a born-again Christian with 2 children, I found your thoughts very comforting. Yes, the guilt comes with the territory we find ourselves in and by placing our complete trust in God we will prevail. He looks after us after we make mistakes and boy have I made some! But slowly He gives me strength to carry my burdens and worries. May God keep watch over all us and give me some extra patience on those days that are just too overwhelming.

  20. December 30, 2010
    I am a spirit filled christian and raised three children alone from the ages of 2, 5 and 8, two boys and one girl. And, this is what I have learned. Maybe this short testimony will help someone.

    Their father was military and lived many miles away but he never saw the children very much (his choice) although he was given generous visitation. We were very poor and I went back to college for a degree which took three years to complete while we lived very frugal. In the meantime I dated a man I planned to marry as soon as I completed my degree but the Lord had other plans. I became a born again christian and with that came major life changes. The man I loved did not become a Christian so the relationship ended abruptly.

    I lived very modestly for many years with these children and at times I had three jobs trying to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table. I continued to tithe even when the choice was to buy food or give to the Lord. I am here to say that you cannot out give God. I lived from hand to mouth for eight years but finally the Lord gave me an awesome job, honored my three children with incredible intellects so they were able to get scholarships to colleges and graduate schools. They all graduated from high school with honors. One has a law degree, one a Master’s in Business Admin and one a Master’s in Mathematics. They have prospered and been in health through the years and I have been blessed with nine grandchildren from these blessed children. What an Awesome God we serve and His name is everything ascribed to Him in Isaiah: Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

    Yes, many times I was lonely, tired, depressed, confused and fearful but He never left my side. Please seek Him first and all the other things you need will be added. He kept my focus on Him and then I was able to focus on these wonderful children He allowed me to raise. You only have one go at raising your child . I am now seventy with no mate but my life is running over with God’s blessings. I wouldn’t change a thing!!!!

  21. Christian Single Mother Warrior

    I am a single parent to a beautiful little girl. She is the joy of my life. I am unmarried and there is no father present. I was a Christian before I fell pregnant albeit I was fearful and did not truly surrender my life to Jesus.

    I am now a devout Christian who has seen the wonderful hand of God in my life. I completed my third year of law school whilst pregnant. I attended 4 exams at 32 weeks pregnant. I received two high distinctions. During my daughters first year, I attended numerous final year law exams. I received the highest mark (over 90%) for one subject in the whole class (around 500 students at a top law school). I had only two hours sleep the night before due to bub’s erratic sleep pattern:). I even attended law exams two weeks after birth and received another high distinction (the highest grade order).

    I graduated from law school with honours. I am now undertaking my practical legal training to become a lawyer. I have just received two 90% final grades. How do I achieve this? God. I have had numerous problems. I am not perfect. I am not a super woman. Due to all the stress, I developed depression after the birth of little girl. It was the first time I have had depression, I prayed for God one night to lift it and the next morning it was gone.

    My success in law is because of God. I surrendered my life completely to God. I let Him take control of my life. I also found out my life purpose after praying to Him. It involves helping single mothers. I am a single mother to help other single mothers. Our God is great!

    I have suffered greatly albeit the Lord has been there the whole time. He is my guide and my light and without Him I would not be here posting this comment. I have experienced many things and I can tell you without doubt that Jesus Christ is real. This spiritual war is real and we need to fight back for the glory of God.

    I remember one experience where my daughter fell very ill at nine days old. She had suspected meningitis and had to have a lumbar puncture. She nearly stopped breathing at home and she had this horrific rash all over her little body. It was truly devastating. We requested pray from a local church and also prayed very deeply. He answered pray. She pulled through. The doctor the next morning stated that he did not know what happened and that there is no explanation. I have it- GOD and JESUS.

    I am a single mother and I am not ashamed. I am proud to be a devout Christian and I am proud to know the Lord Jesus Christ. If you are a Christian single mother, the Lord will take away all your fears. He will also give you your life purpose if you pray for it.

    Blessings and much love,

    A fellow Christian Single Mother Warrior

  22. Fellow single parents, i identify with all your comments, your worries and your pains. Definitely its really really hard to bring up a family single handedly. When you are down you have no one to lift you up, when lonely, no one to give you company, when sick, no one to give you that tender loving care. The burden to breadwin is all your, you work extra hard to maintain your children so that they don’t regret they had the other parent. The community around look down on you like you are inferior, you don’t measure to the standard. Even the pastor has no time for the singles. It’s hard, really hard, nevertheless, Our God Loves us, He cares, and has time to listen to you… Call on Him, He hears and He answers. You are a wonderful vessel in His hands, that’s why He gave you those children single as you are, and denied some married couples the opportunity to be parents. Take heart, stay put, and let’s keep trusting that God will bring our spouses along some day.
    May the peace of God that surpasses all understanding guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus.

  23. To be patient is to be blessed. Lord I will wait on you!! Awesome stories but to understand what God wants for us is to be able to listen..wait and have Faith…single mommy of 3!!

  24. Why is it that God hates divorce so much?
    It’s evident in some of the posts on here. The lonely feelings, the regrets, the wondering if HE still has a plan for single parents. And especially for the kids, who didn’t have a say in all of these broken homes and families.
    But I truly believe HE still has a plan for each of you through out & in spite of all you have and continue to go through. He promises that in His word. It is true that spouses, friends, children & others can let us down. But HE can’t. HE won’t. HE doesn’t. We can not always see what HE has in store, & honestly at times, feel as if HE’s not even paying attention to what we have going on. But, that’s not in HIM. Just us humans, who get wrapped up in ourselves, the limits & failures of others or ourselves.
    All that, to say that I am soon to be a 48 year old, single daddy to 3 wonderful & beautiful kids. A daughter 11, a daughter 9 & a son 4. Waited til late in life to find that special someone & have kids with.
    We are in the final stages of drafting our divorce papers & bringing an end to almost 12 years of marriage.
    Its both humbling & humiliating. The thought of the vows of for better or worse, for richer for poorer, til death do us part. But then again, I honestly believe that we meant em at the time, as did all of yall. But I truly hopoed they were more than just words.
    I know I hurt her for years & that she had “checked out” awhile back, but I never saw a new lover coming. She says she didn’t either, but it is what it is. Now is that in God’s will for our family?
    No, I don’t believe so, & we just tell ourselves that we should move on, so that we feel better. But is that truly what God had in mind when he designed marriage? Again, I don’t think so.
    But, I do know that through all the pain, the fear, the prideful anger & all that goes with this, including wrestling with God about all of it, I do believe God still has a plan for me & our family.
    He created this blue green rock we call our temporary home in 6 days. If He can do that, I know He has something special in store for the 4 of us. As well as for my wife.
    So, lean into His arms, as no one can offer love like He can. This is where the faith comes in & where it gets tough. But the blessings He has in store for you is more than you can imagine!!
    Becasue of Him

    Tim

    crosseyedferg@gmail.com

  25. Hi, I’m a single mommy of 3 and one one the way so 3 1/2 top march..lol..my ex and father of my children decided to end it all shortly after we found out we were having #4. I was raised Christian and parted from the lord when o was 15yrs old. I’m now 31 and re-born. I still cry of course over what my kids and I are going through and of course just asking myself what in the world will I do when I’m on leave and I’m having the baby?? My family in Florida but I’m to embarrassed to tell them of my failer..but I do know that I have to learn how to trust in him. I ask u as a Christian family to please keep us in your prayers. May God continuing to bless u..¦) thank you..

  26. I really enjoyed your web info. I am a widow of 10 years and I would love to meet a great Christian man to grow old with and make a happy home with but like you said, I don’t know where to meet that someone. If anyone know please Post it on here so we can all find that special someone. Gmail wwjdlisa

  27. I am a single christian mother of three (only my 8 year girl is at home). I struggle with all the doubts, worries, ect of not given her the traditional family life as well as having the support from others in teaching her. I don’t know think that I am looking to date, I believe if it’s God’s will that will happen, don’t go looking for extra trouble so to speak. I just want to know that I am not alone in my struggles as a single christian parent and wonder how other’s deal with it. There are very few single parents in my church so there aren’ many who can relate.

  28. I am a single christian mother of three (only my 8 year girl is at home). I struggle with all the doubts, worries, ect of not given her the traditional family life as well as having the support from others in teaching her. I don’t know think that I am looking to date, I believe if it’s God’s will that will happen, don’t go looking for extra trouble so to speak. I just want to know that I am not alone in my struggles as a single christian parent and wonder how other’s deal with it. There are very few single parents in my church so there aren’ many who can relate.

    Hi Jennifer, you are not alone, I am a single mother too. and I know there are so many single christan parent in my area, if you want to meet more single parent, i suggest you should go out or search some online dating site, like I met some solo parents on singleparentdate.com, You can choose some online dating service to date and have chat with them too. good luck!

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