At the very least, the vast majority of Christians who date unbelievers or unsaved singles experience loss of sexual purity, loss of fellowship with the Lord and other believers, and heartache.
Additionally, all throughout the Bible God warns us for our own protection not to partner (be unequally yoked) with unbelievers (ex.:2Cor 6:14). History is littered with the ruined lives of those who have failed to obey this command. If even Solomon, the wisest dude ever, screwed up in this area, why do Christians think they can love Jesus and maintain romantic relationships (dating, marriage) with unbelievers?
Because we were so interested in this topic, Christian Dating Service PLUS! did our own survey to find out why a Christian might consider dating an unbeliever or non-Christian.
Reasons Christians Give For Dating Unbelievers
“If I date them they may come to Christ.”
This old standby is known as Missionary Dating. The logic here is that the unbelieving single girl or single guy the Christian is dating may become saved through their witness. What fuels this popular rationalization is that in very rare instances, this actually does occur.
“My boyfriend (girlfriend) is more moral than other Christians I’ve dated.”
This sad commentary on the evangelical Christian church is in line with findings of Josh McDowell and George Barna that show there is no real difference in the sexual behaviour of Christians and unbelievers. For example, they find that 55% of Christian teens have sexual intercourse by the age of 18. We can only assume that this number rises as single Christians get older and have more opportunities.
“There are no available Christians in my church or area.”
We got this one a lot. Either all the good Christian men or women are taken, or the only available single ones are geeks or whackos. I’m sure you’ve met a few of these, right?
Christians Struggling With Dating Unbelievers
If you are a single Christian struggling with this issue, take courage! We are certainly not judging anyone because most of us have already been through it. Listen, the Lord deeply loves you, but wants you to make decisions that will make Him proud and prosper you at the same time. So think about and pray over the following points before making any dating decisions in this area.
God Keeps His Promises
That means He will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches. (Phil. 4:19, Psalms 37:4). Surrender to Him as you wait expectantly on Him. You will not be disappointed, but remember he makes things all beautiful in His time, not yours. Can you handle that?
Why Settle for Second Best?
Yes, there are some nice people out in the world who are more moral and cuter than some Christians you know. So what? The fact is there are multiple thousands of godly, attractive and passionate Christian singles waiting on God for the same thing you are. Got faith?
Remember What God Says
Don’t mean to be preachy, but I tend to conveniently avoid those parts of the Bible that go against what I am planning to do. So before going headfirst into a pile of crap, check out these verses carefully: 1 Cor. 15:33, 2 Cor 6:14-16.
Have You Exhausted All Your Resources?
Many singles in the church who feel there is no other alternative to dating an unbeliever, may have not looked at other options of where Christian singles meet other singles.
If you are a Christian single who has further insights on dating unbelievers, please consider helping other singles by sharing your experiences.