I thank the Lord for this site. After choosing to live in sin for the past two years, the Lord has been merciful and has forgiven me, and filled me with his Holy Spirit once again. I was angry with God for being “alone”, and being a single mother. I rebelled, and decided that I was going to be in an unequally yolked relationship, and that “I” was going to enjoy it. For 18 months the relationship tore me to pieces! I had gotten so deep into sin, it appeared as though I would have never gotten out. I did everything I knew was against God’s word. I got into a relationship with a married man, he left his wife (he had already planned to leave if it wasnt me it would have been someone else). It was love and romance for two weeks, and then hell for two weeks. The cycle was like this for 18 months. I was filled with torment, anguish, and a loss of control. I resisted going to God b/c I wanted things my way. I wanted to believe that I could make it work, if I just changed a certian way. But it was NEVER meant to work. So, for the first time in my life I got into divination in order to keep the man, taro, and horoscopes. The devil had me as his puppet. I spent tons on psychotherapy, blamming myself for everything that went wrong in the relationship. Believe it or not, for the first time I even tried a drug to escape the pain…this nearly caused me to completely loose my mind. But thank you Jesus, because of his mercy, there were moments in the midst of this evil that I was able to cry out to Jesus for help and he heard me. I knew that I was not strong enough without his power to get out of this sickness. God heard me and he answered me. After dozens of breakups (I was the one always getting dumped and accepting him back) the man finally dumped me for Good. I believe that he found someone else, while with me (no suprise), God worked it out to where I caught him flirting and I confronted him on it. He said it was the last straw. Thank you Jesus! Thank you for my mind, thank you for your holy spirit. Thank him for forgiveness and mercy, and goodness. The devil came to destroy me. And I was helping him to do that all the way. But if it had not been for Jesus, I might have been dead today. Its just not worth it getting into an unequally yoked relationship when YOU KNOW that you shouldnt. The devil comes to rob kill and destroy, and he will use any opportunity. Its worse when we know, and willfuly go into sin. Ive had bad experiences before, in unequal relationhsips but obviously didnt learn. This experience was to really teach me and seal the deal to live for Christ. Emotionally, the loss leads me, at times, to miss the man I thought I loved, but what I have to remember is that this man was never good. He is a sinner, and has no desire to know God. Satan is a seducer, and so he presented this man as good on occassion to keep me in as long as it would take to destroy me. When I feel that sadness, or loneliness come on, each day I read my bible, and pray and cry out to the Lord about the pain my disobedience caused. And each day, I desire to get closer to Jesus b/c he is all I have and he loves me for real. The filling of his spirit makes me feel like I can get through this. I also pray that God fixes that part of me that led to my desperation to need a man so badly that I would be willing to go all out to go to hell. There is a problem in my flesh that needs healing. Im happy I had a chance to share. There is so much that I could share, but for sake of space, Ill cut it short. Thanks for reading.
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