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Christian Singles Secrets

christian singles secrets

Many Christian singles walk around with the burden of carrying personal secrets bottled up deep in their hearts. Whether the secrets are unconfessed sexual sins, painful memories, regrets, shame-filled experiences or totally whacked out thoughts, God did not design us to deal with such raw issues by ourselves.

From the Garden, the Lord created mankind for intimate fellowship with no room for secrets. Adam’s hiding from God after eating of the fruit is the Bible’s first recorded secret. Do you ever wonder what God would have done if Adam and Eve confessed their little “secret” instead of hiding from their Lord? Anyway, we have been keeping secrets ever since, with negative consequences for ourselves and our relationships with others.

The Bible has a neat answer to secret keeping: It’s called confession. Over and over in Scripture, we see see a connection between honest confession and spiritual, emotional and physical healing:

  • If you confess your sins to God, He promises forgiveness and spiritual cleansing (1 John 1:9).
  • Lack of confession leads to physical and emotional turmoil; honest acknowledgement to God brings relief of guilt (Psalms 32-2-5).
  • While only God can forgive, He wants us to confess our sins to each other so that we may pray for each other and experience healing (James 5:6)

Only recently has modern psychology caught up with the Bible in terms of connecting private confession with physical, emotional and spiritual wellbeing. Dr. James Pennebaker, psychology professor at Southern Methodist University, documents a study which found that confessing our secrets can be good for the soul, lower blood pressure, lessen depression and increase your general sense of wellbeing.

There is certainly no reason why we should not confess our secrets to our Lord, who loves (John 3:16) and sympathizes with us despite knowing all about us (Hebrews 4:13-15).

Despite the fact that confession leads to healing, there are many reasons why single Christians fail to confess secrets to others, whether they be a lack of an appropriate outlet, fear, embarrassment or unreal expectations from our own churches.

In light of the above, you are invited to confess your secrets anonymously to Christian-Dating-Service-PLUS. We don’t need to know your name in order to have our single Christian readers pray for you. You will never be contacted unless you desire followup prayer and counsel. Our prayer is that we will all be encouraged by each other’s words.
There are several ways to post your secrets or confession:

  • Simply leave a written comment right on this post
  • E-mail us your written or recorded post secret via a mp3 file.
  • If you only have a CD, we will provide you with an appropriate address to mail your post secret.

Note: Any audio recording will be aired over our radio station and/or podcasted through our site.

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111 Comments

  1. I have been in 2 relationships with guys I really liked- and totally could have seen myself marrying. I am having a hard time being single- I am 24 years old, I was single for 3 years, than thought I was ready for a relationship- so dated someone for about 2 months, than it ended. This has really brought my confidence level down, and it’s hard for me to think a guy will ever stay with me my entire life. I tried to support the last guy I dated in everything, read the Bible and we even prayed together. Sometimes I just feel like giving up on this relationship thing, which is hard, because I truly long to be with someone. Please pray for me.

  2. i am a young man in early thirty.i am a christian. i started masturbating about ten years ago.i hate this bad habit.i have prayed about it believing God for deliverance.but have always seen myself relapsing.please pray for me that i will be delivered from this bad habit

  3. I am 41 years old and have lost my way and want to get back on the right path and have a relationship with God that would be pleasing to him. I was brought up in a christian home and have always tried to live a christian way of life. I too started masturbating from an early age and felt a tremendous amount of guilt. I had a few boyfriends in my late teens and although tempted kept my virginity for my husband. although I gave into temptation on other sexual activities. I met my husband when I was nearly 18, we were very happy together and knew fairly soon into our relationship that we wanted to share our lives with each other. After 3 months we had sex. It wasn’t the wonderful experience I thought it would be. We married and stayed married for 17 years. Throughout our marriage sex had always been a problem, I never enjoyed it and he eventually stopped wanting it and our marriage just seemed to die. I did masturbate throughout our marriage without my husbands knowledge.

    After my marriage ended, I have had a few sexual partners. Always wanting a relationship but they ended up being nothing but sex. Well in the last month a man has come into my life who I felt was sent from God. We have so much in common and most of all we have our faith. We have both been brought up in very similar homes with the same values and he also has been feeling lost since the breakup of his marriage and had quite a few sexual partners. I have come to care about this man very deeply and I felt the feeling was mutual. I prayed that I would be able to be strong and abstain from sex. We had a dinner date at his house one evening and he said I could stay, in separate rooms. I didn’t want him to leave I wanted him to hold me through the night and then before we knew it we had sex. I feel as though having sex has destroyed things for us, he is now very distant. I feel so upset that I have given into temptation and caused him to give into temptation also. Now I feel he doesn’t respect me or want to continue seeing me.

    I think I have learnt a very valuable lesson from this experience. I am feeling very lonely and very unloved and want more than anything to have a wonderful christian relationship. I am so lost, I feel as though I am powerless when it comes to sex, I don’t like this feeling I want to live a pure life and attract the man God wants me to be with. I feel I have failed myself and God so much that I may not ever get what I long for as I don’t deserve it. I just want to confess the sins that I have been committing and feel cleansed and forgiven and try to live the life God had intended me to live. I want to start attending church again but feel so much shame for the life I have lived the past 2 years.

    I thankyou for the opportunity to confess my sins.

  4. Hi everyone, I’m a born again Christian now for about 9 months I’m so thankful & blessed for the changes God has made in my life. It’s a struggle day to day some days more than others it seems like. Well I’ve been dating a fellow believer for about 2 months now, lately we’ve been arguing a lot for dumb things & he tends to ask questions out of the blue about my past a lot, it’s hard sometimes because I’m so ashamed of some things I’ve done although I know I’m saved by grace through faith & I’m a new creation but then I feel like my bf won’t accept me for who I am now because of mistakes of my past so that became something I struggled with and I lied to him about how many sexual partners I’ve had in my past. I felt wrong & I know it was wrong I text him soon after & apologized told him the real truth. I feel like I’ve been hiding from my past or keeping it a secret somewhat & I know I shouldn’t. Do you think I did the right thing by telling him or is my past my past & should I not have to talk about it to others because that’s not who I am now or should I openly tell others, I don’t know I’m so confused but I feel as though as wrong as my mistakes might have been I shouldn’t hide or make them seem less bad, what do u guys think?

  5. My name is Debby,I am 26 yrs old. Am a born again Christian and I try to please God in everyway but am so confused right now and I need your advise.am an orphan,I lost my parent mNy years ago and ave since been staying with aunties,sisters and all who offer little or no care,ve gotten admission twice to study law and English in different institutions but drop out along the way due to lack of financial support I resorted to sexual sin occasionally to make ends meet,feeling guilty each time,I r
    prayed and eventually God delivered me and I got a job,I later left the place due to some reasons,before then I met this guy a Christian who held onto Christian beliefs and we started dating.I was having a tough time at home with my aunty I clsnt cope anymore and I had to leave home I moved in with my fiancé and hoping to get a new job in my present location with him now this is where I need your advice although we have made up our minds to avoid pre marital sex yet we fall into it once in a while and ask for forgiveness afterwards,I ave nowhere else to go,though we ave vowed not to do this again I still need your advice.Thanks!

  6. Hey,
    I am a 20 year old Christian male and I had an oral sexual encounter with a woman 2 years ago during my freshman year of college. However, this was an involuntary sin. How do I explain? Basically my roomate that year was a stereotypical ladies’ man and would party on weekends and at random times during the week, then come back drunk with a party girl and have sex. On this night, however, I had gotten drunk with some of my friends and called it a day earlier than usual that Friday, going to my room and getting into bed around 11:00-11:30ish at night. This is very early for freshman college bedtimes. Anyways, at some point probably a few hours later, he burst into the room like a SWAT officer and half-woke me up with a girl from our dorm who was in a bathrobe and not much else. He had a very low tolerance, so he was probably dangerously drunk at this point. Anyways, from what I can recall the girl helped him into bed and put a puke bucket next to it, since he was not, shall we say, “up to task”.

    I fell back asleep as this happened and dreamed. The dream abruptly turned sexual and then I woke up puzzled and confused to find the girl performing oral sex at some time later in the night. Then from there things got worse, and I ended up reciprocating. She spent the night in my bed and woke up early the next morning and left. I didn’t piece this together that this wasn’t just a drunk dream I imagined until several months later, however, due to the large amount of vodka in my system at the time. She also may have been drunk, although I don’t remember. We had some sort of conversation and she said she was trying to get revenge on her boyfriend (probably for cheating) and wanted a new one, but I told her that this wasn’t the way to solve her problem and that I wasn’t ready for a relationship (yes, I do distinctly remember those specific details, for whatever reason). Anyways, I have asked for forgiveness, tried to minimize risky contact with her and moved on, but occasionally I will have flashbacks at random times. At times it is like I am in Tantalus, because these flashbacks are physical memories, not just mental, and I have remained abstinent since then. I am really starting to feel for drug addicts. I don’t know if that makes me a half-virgin or whatever, but it is what it is.

    To top it all off, later that year and into the present, I have had people imply that I am gay and make fun of me for not having a girlfriend or screwing every woman I see, and the devil has used this to his advantage, alternatively using my memories and demonic gay attacks in my mind (that’s the best way I can articulate it). Ironically, I didn’t have a problem with pornography when this occurred (I had sporadic problems in high school, but that’s a different story) and haven’t had issues since in that area. I also don’t have any homosexual urges, so that’s a non-issue. I have sporadic, off and on issues with masturbation, particularly during summer months, but not to the point of addiction or habit. I should point out that some of my peers, particularly my roommates, have added to my general stress level and problem since they were more towards the direction of habit or addiction-level masturbation and thought I was a freak because of my generally good self-control in this area. Just to get my point across, one of them frequently had serious, adult conversations with one of my other roomates about scheduling “alone time” during the week, and had irritated and even sometimes angry arguments when there were disruptions in the schedule. Just for perspective.

    Anyways, in the past year or so, I have had to reassure myself of my heterosexuality and larger identity as a man due to this double headed problem, which, in addition to many other personal and national events and problems, has left me fatigued. As a final note I will add that I didn’t date in high school except for one or two failed attempts and I still have yet to have had a girlfriend. Also, I’m frequently pushed into the friend zone. Advice?

    -W

  7. i’m born again but am in love with a man who has asked for my hand in marriage we have sex pleas pray for us

  8. Gwendoline,

    We are praying for you.
    Be strong in God and remember He loves you and has already forgiven you.

  9. Im am 17, and well ive been struggling for the past 5 years, with pornography, and mastrabation, and it is taken a toll on my life and it seems like i have no where to run, or hide. After reading a few of these letters i can’t help it, im writting. my grandparents are the most godly people i know and the church they go to, the paster, and gods message. i miss out on that i wished many times i would of never started. all im asking is for prayer, becaue it seems to me like i am losing what all will i have left. all i want is to be free of this retched ordeal. i feel like the real part of my life, the spritual part is beging over run by evil thoughts that impload the brain like a buldozer. it has no discernment. any help. advice would be nice, more than appreciated. i just want god to be the center of my life, not for just a day but for the rest of my life. i thank you for putting this forum up, it is a such a blessing to confess.

  10. Hi Im a Christian guy 31 years old and single. I wish to have a great loving relationship with a lovely christian girl. Over the years with loneliness and lustiful desires I have looked at porn and this even led to sex with prostitutes on a few occasions. I try to be faithful and do the right thing but when I have a bad week or feel really lonely go back to the porn etc. Please pray that god will work in my life and that I will find a great christian woman.

  11. I really need help, i’m 20 years old and i’m saved for almost 3 years now. I’m in a relationship with a Christian guy, both our families know about us and our pastor too, i love him so much and don’t wanna lose him, we are both called for Gods work, yet something keeps pulling us back, we were prophesied that we will only get married after 2 years, we keep on sinning and regard after that, we prayed about it so many times, yet we fall into it again, m so ashamed of my self because i feel like I am pushing God away, i need God to help me and purify me for his work. Well here is my sin, me and my boyfriend are having sex out of marriage, i really hate it and i am glad i found this website because i can’t confess this to anyone i know, so many people look up to me and i don’t want them falling because of my sin, i wanna abstain for the sake of my relationship with God and so that he will bless me with marriage. Through your prayer and my confession i know God will help me and begin to work in my life.

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