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Christian Singles Secrets

christian singles secrets

Many Christian singles walk around with the burden of carrying personal secrets bottled up deep in their hearts. Whether the secrets are unconfessed sexual sins, painful memories, regrets, shame-filled experiences or totally whacked out thoughts, God did not design us to deal with such raw issues by ourselves.

From the Garden, the Lord created mankind for intimate fellowship with no room for secrets. Adam’s hiding from God after eating of the fruit is the Bible’s first recorded secret. Do you ever wonder what God would have done if Adam and Eve confessed their little “secret” instead of hiding from their Lord? Anyway, we have been keeping secrets ever since, with negative consequences for ourselves and our relationships with others.

The Bible has a neat answer to secret keeping: It’s called confession. Over and over in Scripture, we see see a connection between honest confession and spiritual, emotional and physical healing:

  • If you confess your sins to God, He promises forgiveness and spiritual cleansing (1 John 1:9).
  • Lack of confession leads to physical and emotional turmoil; honest acknowledgement to God brings relief of guilt (Psalms 32-2-5).
  • While only God can forgive, He wants us to confess our sins to each other so that we may pray for each other and experience healing (James 5:6)

Only recently has modern psychology caught up with the Bible in terms of connecting private confession with physical, emotional and spiritual wellbeing. Dr. James Pennebaker, psychology professor at Southern Methodist University, documents a study which found that confessing our secrets can be good for the soul, lower blood pressure, lessen depression and increase your general sense of wellbeing.

There is certainly no reason why we should not confess our secrets to our Lord, who loves (John 3:16) and sympathizes with us despite knowing all about us (Hebrews 4:13-15).

Despite the fact that confession leads to healing, there are many reasons why single Christians fail to confess secrets to others, whether they be a lack of an appropriate outlet, fear, embarrassment or unreal expectations from our own churches.

In light of the above, you are invited to confess your secrets anonymously to Christian-Dating-Service-PLUS. We don’t need to know your name in order to have our single Christian readers pray for you. You will never be contacted unless you desire followup prayer and counsel. Our prayer is that we will all be encouraged by each other’s words.
There are several ways to post your secrets or confession:

  • Simply leave a written comment right on this post
  • E-mail us your written or recorded post secret via a mp3 file.
  • If you only have a CD, we will provide you with an appropriate address to mail your post secret.

Note: Any audio recording will be aired over our radio station and/or podcasted through our site.

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111 Comments

  1. i think that it is very commendable what you guys have written. it is  source of encouragement to me. please note that i am not happy because you failed. but i am happy that even after you failed you arouse. i remember suffering with the problem of masturbation ever since i was a child (8-9). and i battled with it until i was about 18.and i must say that it was not easy. there were days when i felt so guilty that i couldn’t stand myself. the truth is that we can overcome masturbation when we feed our minds with healthy things. i used to feed my mind with porn even as a young child. i want to say to ever one with this problem that you can’t rely on yourself to fix it you need God to help you. the truth is that i tried to fix it on my own many times but i only made it worst. trust in God He was able to help me overcome it and if i remember correctly He is still in the deliverance business.

  2. I am a 19 year old girl whose faith is the most important thing in my life. However, the sin of masturbation has had a hold on me for a long time. It has come and gone, but I really desperately want to be free of it. I don’t have anyone in this new city that keeps me accountable for anything and it feels like I am alone in fighting this, especially since I am a girl and girls aren’t supposed to struggle with this. I want to stop. I want God’s love to be enough to make me stop, but I keep coming back to this.

  3. Dear all who are suffering various kinds of sexual sins,

    I know a web site dedicated to people like us:

    http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/home/

    They offer a 90 day Bible study for people to get freed from sexual sins and bondage. I personally have done the study and I’d highly recommend every Christian to try it out.

    God bless.

  4. My wife has recently as yesterday divorced me she is a believer it si part of her healing, it is un unusual circumstances as we do see each other and only 3 days ago spent a night together, we are both very compatible sexually so it is difficult for us to resist the temptation.

    I will continue to wait and pray that one day she is ready to have a relationship and I will be the one she would contact

    We are now committed not to do this and if we ever get together in future it will be based on God’s principles.

    During our final stage of separation when my wife applied for divorce I have started to look at the future relationships to see if my heart is willing to look at any one else, this has led me to a webcam sites for casual relationship where my hormones kicked in and I had un pure desires to satisfy my needs with who ever was willing on the webcam chat line, fortunately Holy Spirit has convicted me and now I have a 1TH: 4:3-9 printed in front of my computer to remained me God’s way.

    Please pray for us both thank you

    Uri & Victoria

  5. my boyfriend & i have been dating for 5 years.He asked me if I could strip. He dint force me. I want to know whether strippin is a sin?

  6. Thank you all for your encouragement and willingness to read along in this confession. Every time I enter into a relationship with a possibility of marriage, I give into sexual desires. I do this to release lust, to enter intimacy and produce a sense of security. I also choose sin this way because I am a pleaser and a giver to a fault and this trait goes no more clearly awry than in relationships. I want to love The Lord, I don’t want to grieve Him or our relationship. Therefore, I confess that I am in sin. I also confess with a great deal of remorse and frustration that I have not had the will power to stop. I fall short, please pray with me to turn this around.
    I also struggle with this as it appears to be a catch 22. Is it true prayers for strength can’t pass the ceiling when I am in sin, only when I have turned from and against them? When I was abstaining I felt worse physically (the wanting for touch), emotionally (pushing boyfriends away ‘withholding’) and spiritually ( Please God, are you listening really listening?) than I do now sinning. Thanks for the encouragement to be transparent and hopeful. T

  7. Hi…I am a 24 year old Christian. I am a virgin, but have always, even since childhood struggled with having sexual thoughts, viewing ponography, etc. Now I struggle with masturbation and with viewing porn. Recently I became “friends with benefits” with a guy I know. We haven’t had intercourse, but we have done everything else…and it is possible that we may be having sex in the near future. I know that I can get myself out of this, but I don’t. Its like I want to do this, but I don’t want to want to??? I have never justified myself in what I am doing. I know it is not good for me, or for the guy – who is not a Christian and does not know that I am. But I still want to do this. I can’t help myself. I keep thinking, well what if I never marry? Then I would still want to know what sex is like…I live in Newfoundland and there are hardly any Christians here, let alone people I could speak to about this. I just don’t know what to do. I don’t know what the consequences will be in the end…I could really use advice and prayer.

  8. I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now. We have spent some what of that time in a long distance relationship, however, the last three months we have been re-united, the distance and the love led to pre-marital sex, i am ashamed and embarrassed of what I have done.

    Recently my period was late and i confessed to my mum that i wasn’t a virgin and she freaked, we also thought that i may have been pregnant and i was extremely stressed, thankfully i wasn’t.

    Recently i told my boyfriend that i regretted what i had done and the whole situation. Mum doesn’t trust me the same and what i want is to be married so that we can be together in a loving way and to avoid the temptation that we have been struggling with already. he has told me that he want’s to get married and I believed him, his parents don’t agree with getting married young as we are both 20, and i’d like to get married at 21 0r 22 and abstain until marriage.

    I feel as though if I don’t get some sort of idea of when he wants to get married we will be in this un-pure relationship and end up in the same situation again, I don’t want that to happen. I am also scared as I feel as though he is making excuses, hiding behind his parents and I dont know what to do anymore, I am scared about sinning again and I fear that he doesn’t want to marry me, and all my wrong doing is leading to punishment and the ruining of my life. what an I meant to say in this situation to him. Would god punish me for my sin? Am I meant to be struggling and stressed all the time, I have been so un-easy that I’ve been dry-reaching and anxious all the time, how does this end? What do I do?

  9. Dear sister:
    Thank you for sharing your heart with us. We have prayed for you in this situation. Please know, if you confess your sin to Jesus, He has forgiven you. He has already borne the punishment for this sin. You will need to decide what you will do next. God created sex to be enjoyed in the context of marriage so it can be the beautiful experience he designed without all the stress caused by doing it outside of his guidelines. Please don’t surrender this precious part of yourself to some one who has not taken the step of committing himself to you in marriage. God loves you so much, ask him to lead you to the man he has created to be with you. His choice for you will be beautiful and as you follow his will, he will give you his peace.

  10. I have just browsing the internet when I came across this website and have read a lot of stories about abstinence until marriage and I just wanted to share my story. I became a Christian when I was 30 and had previous relationships until then. When I gave my life to the Lord I did not have a relationship until I met my Christian husband. We fell in love, talked about having children, both attended fellowship weekly and were BOTH full on for God. We got married and it was not even 3 months after we were married he told me he did not want to have children with me, and he would also withhold from me sexually, physically and emotionally.

    This caused terrible STRIFE in our marriage. After nearly 10 years he finally left and moved overseas and now has a new wife. I however have been left heartbroken, with no children, no family (which was the desire of my heart), and left to sell the matrimonial home and all our possessions. Now I am very lonely and yearn for a partner in every way. “Hope deferred makes the heart sick”. I know that abstinence before marriage and to marry a christian partner, equally yoked is God’s way but it certainly did not work for me !!!!!!

  11. I thank God for the opportunity to read the posts made by all those struggling with sexual sin like myself. I too was exposed to sexual immorality at a very young age and it has continued into my adulthood. I have two children and recently my nine-year old daughter was discovered visiting porn sites. It broke my heart and has left me spiritually depleted to know that the sins that I have committed and continue to commit have reached into my daughter’s life.

    I have stopped looking at porn via websites but I continue to masturbate as I am desperate to have a husband to relieve the lust that I feel. I have not dated since breaking up my childrens’ father two years ago and I don’t believe that I am entirely ready to. I have been fantasizing about a man I worked with that I had a crush on about five years ago I would like to end this hopelessness and destructive cycle of sin and guilt. It has reached into my child’s life and I want it destroyed.

    I know that God forgives every sin and every sinner. He lifted me up from a hopeless and pitiful state two years ago and has proven His faithfulness since, but I have failed so many times that coming to Him….I feel too ashamed and a hopeless case. I have joined a church but I have not been attending because I feel disconnected and lost in such a huge church (a mega church). My mother’s church is much smaller and intimate but I do not feel at home there either.

    Please pray for my deliverance in this and please pray for my children. The computer has been moved in an open area of the home and I monitor all that she views and everything on television, but the damage has been done and it is very painful to know that her innocent eyes have engaged in this type of sin. I dont want her view of sex to be completely abnormal like mine was! Please pray for us!

  12. Hi, just wanna say been struggling recently with sexual sins like pornography and mastubation against myself. and I been really trying to discipline myself in this areas, by blocking out certain content on the internet, somehow, I just need more prayers to completely block out this sin of my, I wnana be pure for my future spouse and to God to. pls pray for me

  13. Thank you for making this available.

    I started spending time with a christian man at the end of 2007. At the time I was not saved… I surrendered my life to christ and accepted Him as Lord shortly after I met Him.

    This man lead me to Christ… in the midst of all of this we enganged in sexual acitivy for a short time after but we knew we had to stop… He was teaching the Word and I joined his bible study class. The holy spirit convicted me and as a result I have not engage in any sexual activity… but I struggle in my thought life, I frequently have thoughts about this person… I cry, pray, it grieves my heart to know that I am having these sexual thoughts and God knows my thoughts. I know God will deliver me from this… I have stopped communicating with this person, because now sometimes even hearing his voice triggers all these images and thoughts in my mind… I still desire him phisically and he is my brother in Christ! Please pray for me… My heart is broken for many reasons about this situation, I know God loves me no matter what I don’t feel like I am in the right place to date until my thought life is free and I can know myself better in the Lord.

  14. I am a young christian and was disconnected for a long period from church coz the country where I live now,people doesn’t mind at all about going to church but I still believe and know the gospel and enjoy myself sometimes with gospel music.I have my girlfriend and we handle a year relationship and we’ve decided to live together and we did without marriage but Now I keep in touch about the Bible’s requirement but I’m struggling about sex,cause she is not a christian and I’m running off a bad financial period and she does all for me and now I feel very bad when I have sex,and I want you to pray for me,in ordre that I can get marry as soon as possible,and I’d like that my fiancee knows about the words.Please I need your prayer

  15. I am a born-again Christian who has struggled with masturbation since I was very young, at least 6 or 7 seven years old. When I discovered that it was wrong for me to put so much energy into fulfilling a sexual desire that God had intended to be shared between a man and woman, I became ashamed, and asked him for forgiveness. I have done so several times, and I am now at the point of despair where I honestly don’t know if I will ever get over this problem. Furthermore, I feel as if a man will never want to love me or marry me if he knew about this struggle…Right now I am just trying to hold on to the knowledge that Christ will help me, but I’ve messed up and repented so many times that sometimes I wonder if he won’t just give up on me.

  16. i am a Christian man and i have been thru what most of you have been going thru all the sexual issues, having a serious relationship with a non believer which ended up in broken hearts all around NOT GOOD! i am 41 now still single backsliden but coming back to the Lord. all i can say at this point is this, life is short and we are all gonna die, or the rapture, so hey if i never get married or have kids that’s just what it is gonna be, look i could never even say that 10 yrs ago, but with time i realize hey in a few decade i will be dead anyways and in a million years from I will be on the golden streets i will not be trippin on these earthly issues. the lord say seek the kingdom first and all these things shall be added unto me. I hope to be married don’t get me wrong but, i just want true peace, joy and contentment on the real not just words! i have had many sexual adventures with men and women yes i have been crazy ; ) but i always ends up in feeling worse in the end! like i said i just want to have peace that passes all understanding thats my prayer at this point. i think in my case i just needed to mature i have had a chance with a girl who wanted to be my wife and she was cute and a christian but I blew her out, because i just not focused on the kingdom and just get caught up in the worldly lifestyle. You see my born again Christian friends when you are truly a child of the king, you can try to run away, you can try to do this life your own way and the Lord will let you be disobedient he will let you do your own thing, but because your his child he will get your attention thru circumstances and you will find yourself like me broken and on your knees asking for forgiveness, that’s the deal when you ask Christ in your heart and mean it! it is a relationship. so at this point we must wait on the Lord and seek the kingdom first! peace out brothers and sisters!

    S

  17. hello everyone! I am 30yrs old and a born again christian.. i never had sex ..a virgin technically but that does not mean i never had experience with the opposite sex….i am not into weird stuff,just an ordinary average girl. Of course,like everyone else here, I also want to be closed to someone physically but sad to say i have not meet him so what i do is go out with friends, study spanish but its too hard..haha…cook and massage.hehe….anything to occupy my time and stop thinking about sex….so far its working but still it does not stop me from feeling lonely…what keeps me going is i know that one day i will meet the one from god…good luck to all us.

  18. I have a confession lusting is really a bad sin for me. I keep getting nasty pics and vids and I want to delete them but yet i find myself staring and when im done then I delete them… I had a vid and i deleted it and now i just think about it… I dont know what to do I want to stop lusting and what not I mean women are beautiful I know and its not my place to lust after them I need help please

  19. My ex boyfriend has a secret and im the only one who knows about it, and i guess in a way it hurt me emotionally and it burdened. i recently shared the secret to my brother… is this a sin? im not sure if i should feel guilty for it

  20. Well, I am a youth leader serving in church and i totally agree with what the Bible says about not being equally yoked with non-Christians. As such, I do advocate that. But honestly, I struggle with it because of my few brushes with attraction to the opposite sex and a few of whom are non-christians. it feels like i am being hypocritical and am not really convicted about 2 Cor 6:14. sometimes i even wished that i wasnt a Christian or otherwise I think God will not really grant me this desire that I have or maybe i just have an issue.

    recently, i became rather emotionally involved with one of my non-christian guy friend. i like him because he seems to be the kind of guy who is able to make me laugh and we click rather well. i know i am treading on thin ice… and while i can see all the reasons why i shouldnt be with him: he claims to be a christian and yet he smokes and swears…. i still am attracted to him. maybe this is lust? and yet i dont want to lose him as a friend and i do wish i can convey the Christian beliefs about dating non-christians and purity in relationship… i find myself failing.

    and on the other hand, i know God has provided me with the kind of decent Christian guy I should be with, but I just seem so resistant to it for all the superficial reasons: that I think he doesnt have the kind of personality that i hope for- funny, good sense of humor, much less humor me. my Christian friends feel that he is a good guy as well.

    i am conflicted. and i just feel i need God’s direction and forgiveness for all my selfishness and sins.

  21. Hello brothers and sisters! I’ve already confessed my sins to the LORD, and I’ve also tried to repent many times, but many times have I’ve fallen back into these sins. Porn, sexual images, lust, and masturbation. I had given my life to God at the age of 16, and everything was great. But then, I met a my first girlfriend from back in the 6th grade, and I fell deeply in love with her. I loved and respected her so much that I didn’t think of ever having sex with her. But, she brought the topic up on the phone one day, and it made me nervous but shamefully turned on. So I ended up having sex with her a week or two after the conversation. I felt horrible, destroyed. But after that first time, we did it many many times. We stayed together 2 and a half years, and we even have twin daughters. We broke up just about a month and a half ago, and I had rededicated my life to Jesus Christ, but the sexual thoughts with her are still there. Almost everyday I battle with these thoughts, and some days, I even masturbate. I feel so awful about this, Sometimes, I’ll even visit porn websites to look at a male and female engaging in sex. I’ve spent many days in prayer, and I’ve even went on a 3 day fast to try to overcome this problem with lust and sexual desire. I need everyone’s prayer, I don’t want to mess up anymore. I’m supposed to be a new creature in Christ, please everyone, pray for me. May God bless you all and may his mercy always be upon us.

  22. I am 33 yrs old now and for as long as I can remember, i have had a problem with masturbation. I started when I was about 10 yrs old and it just built from there. I was never told it was wrong. As a matter of fact, even though i was raised by God fearing parents, they never talked about it at all so i didn’t even know what it was called at the time. As i got older, i saw movies with sex scenes and noticed how it made me feel. Then one night i happen to notice a video tape sitting in someone’s bedroom and got curious. It looked like a cartoon so i thought it would be okay to watch. Little did I know it was a porn, but i kept watching and it made me want to touch myself. It just got worse from there. After a while, i didn’t even need videos to feel aroused, i had my own mind. After getting my first boyfriend at 17, I got curious about sex…not so much that i actually wanted to do it, i was scared. But all his pressure kind of pushed me to go ahead and try. It hurt like the dickens, but he only felt pleasure and didn’t think about me. It was then that I had “foolishly” promised God that I would never fornicate again. I held fast to that promise for 7 years after that. But then i met a man at my church who was full of Jesus and seemed to be everything I wanted in a husband and i thought he was the one. God was finally blessing me with a husband…i wouldn’t have to masturbate anymore either! Little did I know that this man was meant for somebody else because even though we had dated and ended up fornicating, and he told me he loved me(and he was the one who told me masturbation was sin, which was why i tried to stop), he broke up with me, which broke my heart to pieces…then got back with me…then broke up with me again, that time without saying it, he just started ignoring me, which angered me. It took a while for me to get over that and forgive him. I have since forgiven him but my masturbation problem has not gone away and he is now married with 2 little ones.
    I don’t do it as often anymore, nor do I ever plan it. But it hangs on like filth to garbage, just waiting to infect me where i find myself engaging in it at least once a month. I really hate it. What’s worse is, as a result of my sin almost 3 yrs ago, I am now a single mother. I cried and begged God to kill me when i found out. Not simply because i didn’t want a child out of wedlock but because the man with whom i concieved this child was/is married…he just neglected to tell me before hand…actually he lied to me about being divorced. I feel like a complete mess and that every time i sin this way, by masturbating, God will forever turn his back to me, strip me of the Holy Spirit, and leave me destitute. I feel really low right now and fear of what terrible thing God may have in store for me. I would confess this to my church so that they may pray for me but i feel so ashamed and embarassed that i just can’t bring myself to do it. I can’t even talk to my own parents about it. I feel destroyed, but i can’t allow myself to sink so low that i never recover, i have a little boy to think about and can only pray that he never has to struggle with this problem. I beg of you to pray for me that i overcome this staggering sin. I really appreciate your attentive…eyes in this matter. God bless you all.

  23. Dear Aubree

    I am so glad that you have written and expressed your needs. The pureness of your heart shows in that you are thinking about your little boy, even though right now you are not feeling very pure.
    The bible never specifically addresses masturbation, as we know it. You will find varied beliefs in the Christian community on this topic. I do not personally believe the act in itself is denounced as a sin. However, the motivating factors that lead us to that place can be sinful and destructive.

    The enemy is very clever in using some of God’s greatest gifts to destroy us. When you saw movies with sex scenes you noticed how they made you feel. You were created to have those feelings. You have hormones and a libido that He gave you. He intended them to be used in a way to glorify Him, through marriage and children. Nevertheless, you are not hard wired incorrectly and still God’s perfect design.

    You can repent for the way you may have misused those feelings. God is faithful and forgives all of our sins no matter how many times we commit them. Jesus said we are to forgive 70 times 7 (Matthew 18:21-22) In Jesus’ time, that number would have seemed infinite to the people. Jesus wanted us to know that his love and forgiveness are infinite.

    You may have started this behavior based on fleshly desires, I sense that what you now seek in masturbation is an escape. You are feeling bad & seek a quick, easy way to feel good again. When you feel like you are falling to temptation, get into a quiet place with God. Turn your heart and mind to Jesus, pray for the Holy Spirit to fill your you completely. Let Him fill you completely so that nothing else is allowed in that isn’t His will. We tend to be self reliant and that is when we fail most often. Tap into God’s power and HE will help you battle your temptations. I promise you the enemy will retreat in defeat.

    The guilt and self loathing you feel are lies. The enemy wants to keep you feeling that way and the longer you do the more he keeps you from doing God’s work. Our God is not one of retribution or punishment. If we believed that, Why did Jesus have to die on the cross? Was it all for nothing? Meaningless? Jesus’ blood was the payment for all of our sins. Our bill is stamped PAID IN FULL.

    Your desire to confess to your church and talk to your parents is natural. You want to feel unburdened and clean. God knows your heart, you need only to confess to Him. The most beautiful gift Jesus gave us was reconciliation and access to God. The Israelites did not have this relationship. That had priests and prophets to intercede for them. We have a direct line to God our father. You do not need human intercession to receive God’s grace.

    When we find ourselves in the pit of sin, it may seem impossible to climb out of it. So we wallow around a while, try to make it feel like it is ok, and in the end we still know we are in a pit. All things are possible in God, you need only ask. Believe that he will give it to you. The bible tells us “ if you ask for bread, will your Father give you a stone? (Matthew 7:9)

    If you are able try to find a copy of “Get out of that Pit” by Beth Moore. There is a video series too that is really great. Many church libraries will have this. Beth Moore was in the deepest of pits. She has experience sin of EVERY type including sexual sin. This book is a powerful tool that I know you will enjoy. I will be praying for you.

    God Bless,

    Jodi, Christian Singles Blog Moderator

  24. I am a young, single, Christian girl. I’m going to be a freshman in college in a matter of weeks. I’ve never dated, never courted, and have never even been kissed. I struggle with my sexual purity every day. (I say struggle, but some days I give up entirely.) Often times my mind is absolutely filthy and to make matters worse, I drag all my friends down with me- all in the name of fun. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good joke, but being the dirty comedian of the group just doesn’t seem like what God wants me to do.

    Additionally, I am gaining more and more independence in ever area of my life. I’m moving out. I’m going to have my own car. I’m going to live thousands of miles away from my parents. I have a laptop all to myself…with little to no adult content filters… That is what leads me to how I found this website.

    Last night I shamelessly watched porn at 2 am in my bedroom. I masturbated as many times as I could before I was tired enough to go to sleep. I’ve had trouble with insomnia for years and masturbating has been my outlet.

    I’ve seen sex before. So it wasn’t a shock. (Or was it?) What with movies and television and foul ads all the time- I thought nothing of it. Until this morning. Reruns of that porn kept going through my head- no matter how I tried to push it away. That one small innocent part of my mind that hadn’t seen real sexual intimacy has been ruined with porno smut.

    I have not asked forgiveness yet because I do not feel overwhelming guilt. I know what I have done is wrong, but I don’t feel right asking forgiveness without being REALLY sorry.
    What do I do? Do I go over in my head how terrible I am until I feel sorry enough to say it?

    Somehow I know that God is big enough to deal with all my big problems. But can I be big enough to let him have this one?

    My sexual purity is very important to me and I want to regain some of that innocence I’ve lost.

    Thank you very much for listening and God Bless.

    love, Christine.

  25. Dear Christine,

    I can hear the sadness and confusion in you.We are human and we are sinful in nature. God would love to shield us from the pain that we cause ourselves, but that would defeat His purpose in giving us free will.

    It sounds like your natural curiousity has helped you push the limits. It starts out with off color jokes that seem harless and before you know it your are watching something you never thought that you would. Fighting temptation and living your Christian values is more difficult at this point in your life than most. The decisions you make now will shape your life and I think you already know this.

    There is no doubt in my mind that you have some spiritual warfare going on. As a Christian you know that this is very real and not imagined. Deep down you know what is right and wrong. The reason you are not feeling overwhleming guilt, is evidence that you have been lured in (temporarily) to worldly desires. The secular world is not God’s world. They do not abide by the same standards and pornography is rationalized as an individual right instead of the filth that it truly is.

    Call on God’s power to STOP replaying that vision of what you saw over and over in your head. I have had my own struggles in this same area. I never felt clean or pure until I accepted Jesus’ forgiveness. I had His forgiveness when I confessed and repented but I actaully had to ACCEPT it in my heart. I guess you could liken it to forgiving yourself. Once I did I could feel the Holy Spirit filling up all the holes in my heart that my sin had bore. I felt pure again. I went from feeling like scarlet to white a new snow (Isiah 1:18)

    His word is more powerful than a tw-edged sword. Ask th Holy Spirit to show the the words of God that you need to stand against the enemy. He will give you the victory just as He gave Jesus. (Hebrews 4:12)

    You are a bright young woman. God has blessed you. As you enter into the secular world with new found freedom, Remember, freedom isn’t our license to sin but your opportunity to glorify God.

    You may have many regrets if you live the ways of this world, you will never regret walking in His light.

    God Bless,
    Jodi

  26. Hi all,

    This site may be the answer to a prayer that I have prayed for awhile, a place to unburden my load…

    About 3 years ago, my husband of 27 years took off without any warning, he was gone for about a week without any word, did not answer my frantic calls. He travelled quite a bit for his job and was supposed to be on a business trip but this time he took off for out-of-state with a woman from his office. He eventually came back after it was revealed that, over the course of the last 8 years, he had had numerous affairs with women he met on the Internet. He was also involved with Internet porn, meeting with prostitutes and frequented nudist beaches. He also had opened no less than 12 credit cards and maxed them out, including one that we both shared. I am being totally honest here, please believe me that it is all truth.

    After he returned, he apologized and said he didn’t know what he was doing and wanted to try to “make things right”. We went for counseling thru our pastor and I continued to stress about whether or not he would come home each night, as he took off several times after that. Finally, after seeing the negative effects his actions were having on the kids (5 of them), when he called me from out-of-state one night after he took off I told him that he would have to either stay away or come back and seriously get the help he needed. That was his ticket to say that “I kicked him out” and he promptly moved into his girlfriend’s home in Florida. He then filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy, leaving me to face harrassing phone calls and letters from debt collectors. I also had to face being the sole supporter of 5 kids while maintaining a household and full-time job.

    After our divorce was finalized I felt as if I was in a state of numbness, desperately wanting support and for my church family to reach out to us. All that we received was meals (supper) for a week, dropped off “in a hurry” without anything more than a “hang in there, call us if you need anything”. After all of the years of my ministering to others with counsel, teaching, service, etc., not one individual came to us out of all of the churches I have helped. People didn’t even call to see how we were. I think that that was what sent me into a spiral of anger against Christianity. I was betrayed and rejected by my Christian husband and now rejected by my Church family. I am still carrying around feelings that I am not part of the family, I am not like them anymore, I am divorced, I do not belong and neither do my kids. I am tired of trying to fit in anymore and because of my divorce I never will, as my thinking goes.

    When a non-believer who had gone thru a similar situation asked me out, I accepted, as I figured no Christian man would ever want me, I am now tarnished goods. We eventually became sexually involved and, even though I’m struggling with guilt at least I am feeling appreciated for something, even if it is for companionship. I have been trying to keep up with all of the kids’ needs as well as keep the household running by learning to do repairs myself.

    Thru all of this, believe it or not, I have not blamed God or tried to figure it all out. I remember a line from one of Dan Allender’s books…don’t try to figure evil out, it is just evil. Now I just have to learn to forgive everyone, my ex, other Christians, myself, and to make things right in the Lord’s eyes. It is so hard, but thanks for letting me get all of this out.

  27. My dear sister Charlotte,

    You have endured more pain in one lifetime than any ten people put together, I bought my mom a plaque one Christmas that hangs in her kiitchen “God only gives us what we can handle. I wish He didn’t trust me so much!”

    It is an unfortunate and sad that your church family didn’t rally around and give you the support you needed. I can hear in your words that this left you feeling more hurt and worthless than your husbands behavior did.

    It is very clear that your husband has multiple issues that he needs to deal with. You should pray for him. God does not want amyone to perish, but desires for all to come to repentance. (Psalm 145:9) Your husband is wandering around like a sheep without a shepard. (Matthew 9:36)

    As for your current relationship it sounds as if you are not comfortable in some choices you have made. You are looking for the Love and affirmation your heart was made for. Immerse yourself in prayer and allow Jesus to fill you up with HIS LOVE.

    As a deer pants for water our souls thirst to be filled with LOVE(Psalm 42:1-2) When we fill ourselves up with a substitute, we are still left thirsting. When we fill ourselves with Jesus’ love we are never left feeling empty again (John 4:13)

    It is clear that you Love God and have kept your heart open. There are many church communities available. Open your heart and ask God to lead you to a true family in Jesus. He will not abandon you. He will hear your prayer. (Psalm 4:1)

    Love,
    jodi

  28. I too once had a problem with porn and masturbation. Thankfully, I am still a virgin. I would go on for a while, feel guilty, confess, and eventually fall back. I prayed, read the Bible, and set strict disciplines to prevent myself from falling back. However, I always did. Finally about two years ago, God helped me put pronography behind me. An as of this year the masturbation has stopped, and I do not entertain sexual thoughts anymore.

    There were several things that made the difference this time. First, an accountability partner. My best friend (a comitted Christian guy) and I call each other at least every other day and ask how we are doing that day in our areas of weakness. I had a lot of confessing to do at first, but with time it became more keeping tabs on temptation. This was absolutely vital. I do not know for sure if it works better for men to have a Christian brother, and women have a Christian sister as an accountability partner, but it is something to think about.

    The other thing to consider is that it says in the Bible that if somene cleans up their life, but does not replace the sinful actions with something else, “the demon will come in, and finding the house clean and in order brings seven other demons.” Basically what meant to me is that even if you clean up your act and attitude, but do not fill the resulting void with Jesus, the pressures of this world will force their way back in. You will fall again and be discouraged. Filling the void with serving God, and prayer was a huge first step. The next step filling the void came with an attitude adjustment from a book called Hero: Becoming the Man She Desires. Before this I had a hard time not believing that I was an unattracive loser for being single, and a virgin. This book told me that controlling your sexuality makes you more of a man (especially in God’s eyes) than any number of sexual relationships no matter what the world says. I do not even know if GREAT can desribe the work God has done in me. IMPOSSIBLE seems more appropriate, but God does the impossible. More to the point, this is one seeming impossibility that He longs to work in every life that suffers from the scars of sexual sin.

    Finally, I have learned that simply to say that we will struggle with this all our lives is correct, but maybe a little understated. Just like every other addictive problem, we will have days that we feel great, and days that some part of us would give anything to go back to our old ways. Again prayer, bible reading, accountability, and remembering our new Hero attitude make getting through those times doable, but not easy. Also for those of you who feel that you have sinned so much that God can not forgive you, just remember that Jesus died to forgive all our sins. Feelings are great at sensing what is going on inside of us, but are terrible guides to what is going on outside.

    I truly believe that God wants to heal every man and woman here who struggles with sexual sin. My part in my healing was miniscule, but very difficult. So keep praying, hoping, and fighting to be healed. I hope that my diatribe here is of some help to you all.

    Your brother in Christ,
    Bill

  29. HI there,

    I stubbled on this website by chance…. I was Looking for help.
    I am a single Woman in my Early 30’s . I am asking God why am I single…all I think about is being married….
    I have struggle for the Past 18 years with Porn. My Friends showed me is when I was a school and it has been a horrible curiousity in my life since then.

    I want so much TO be married and sometimes I haev felt Angry With God… for not having that someon To share intimate time and be my Friend an dHave kids and laugh etc… inmyb mind I wonder if @ 45 I willbe single and I feel like I am gonna burn with all the sexual feelings all pent up inside and I wonder how to Get rid of them. In the Bible it talks about Lust adn That thinking it is As Bad as doign it [paraphrase] so I have been thinking…whynot just Do it.

    I love the Lord and Being a Christian but I wonder if I shoudl just leave church coz this Sin is Too bad I keep fallignallthe time and I am ashamed of myself… I keep Askign for forgiveness but I wonder how long he is gonan keep listening to me. Maybe all the Bad stuff happning in my life is a curse because of my sins

    Recently, I met a man online we met and although we didnt Go all the way, we did enough (if you get my meaning) He has been very lovely and in some respects it was good but thet fact is I dont think God is happy coz we are not Married. I am Scared I will do Soemthin liek this Again adn Go the whole Way….coz I am Lonely and I want Soemone to love me someone To wake upto, someone to hug me someone to talk too, Someone I can be There for, someon who will want me to be part of their life

    I my mind I have started to wonder (stupidly so) does this whole no sex before Marriage apply to single christians over 30, Over 40, Over 50…. How So people deal with this? Everyone Keeps Saying het busy Doing something for the Lord…. I am busy…but at night in my bed and when I wake up there is still no-one there… although I haev alot of friends, I am Still on my own and I feel envious when a Friends tell me abut theri Reatinships, or they are getting married. and ask God when is it Gonna be My turn…am I such a bad person or so ugly that I am unloveable? Or is my sin preventing me from meetign anyone.

    Sorry my thoughts are not in a coherant chain of words… But Today, my Struggle has been extra hard… if you single, over 30, No men in your church (well single men That you woud want o marry) , no-one in the pipeline for you to marry, not dating anyone, SINGLE SINGLE. How does one Cope with their Sexual side? How do you get these feelings to go away…. PLEASE CAN SOMEONE HELP ME

  30. I have been masturbating for about 6months now and the worst part about it is I’m a girl. I didn’t think that it was possible for girls to even do thisbut one day I got “curious” and did it and now it has been on and off. I can go several days without doing this sick thing to myself but then I do it anyways. And I know it’s wrong but I just can’t seem to help myself…And I started using bad picures to “get off” and it’s horrible. I don’t need them but I feel like this “need” for masturbation will never go away and it scares me.
    Also, my dad molested me when I was little. I can’t seem to forgive him for what he did. Well…I have but I don’t want to talk to him or see him or even acknowledge that he’s my father…so I guess you could say it’s not real forgiveness…but I just don’t want a relationship with the man who stole my innocence away.
    I’ve also lost my relationship with God…well not lost butI can’t seem to have the relationship with him I used to have. It’s all my fault too…I never seem to have the time for him my family doesn’t go to a church anymore, I don’t have someone Christian who I can talk to. I feel like no matter how many times I’ve saidthe prayer accepting God into my life I’m not good enough. And look at me…howcan I be? I masturbate, I’m a liar, I’m not nice all the time, Iscrew up. How can he love me? How can he even be in the same room as me. I’m so disgusting, he is so clean. I don’t feel good enough….Ijust need help. ButI don’t know where to go or who to turn to anymore. I feel like no matter how many times I pray God can’t hear me orhe’s not listening…like it’s too late to fix what I started. I don’t want to live like this anymore. I want to be happy, I want God back in my life again. I just don’t want to be lost anymore.

  31. I have been born again since when i was 16 years and a virgin and i’m still a virgin .I am now 33 and not married i have never been in a relationship.I love God with all my heart.I really desire to live a clean and a holy life before him but it looks so difficult.I have been struggling with masturbation and ponography for a long time now.I cannot remember what lead me to end up in this mess.I will repent and i will tell my self that i will never do it again but i end up doing this horrible things especially when i’m depressed.Please pray for me. I need God deliverance upon my life.I really want to be married and have my own family.But i need to get rid of this first.May God forgive me and help me to overcome this habit even as i confess my sins right now.I really don’t want to go to hell.

  32. Hi, I dont know why or how I found your e-mail but I did and now I feel obligated to write to you. From your letter its painfully obvious that you are hurting and you need not be. Jesus came do die for sinners not saints. You, like all of us screw up. I’ve been a Christian for 21 years and I screw up; that’s not what make us Christian. A Christian is a follower of jesus, not a perfect, clean, person. Let me explain. Have you heard of David, like in the guy who killed the giant? Well he screwed up. He comitted adultry and murder. GOd called him a man after His heart. Read Romans 7:14-21, Paul was the guy who wrote 13 of the New Testament books, he said he was a mess. Isaiah the prophet said he was screwed too, read Isaiah 6:1-9. My point is you have a false sense of what a christian is. If you love Jesus He promises to wash away all your sins even masturbation )1John 1:9). I am sorry about what was done to you by your father, and I feel for you. But God is not like your father, he sees you not as an object but a child, a child whom he loves and wants to protect and hold and cherish. You don’t overcome your masturbating by stopping it, you stop by replacing it with something better; like your walk with GOd, worship, bible ready and seeking God’s help through prayer. You might also want to find a christian woman who can help you process your feelings. Believe me, God loves you and there is nothing you can ever do to make Him love you any less!! Now get on your knees and tell him how you feel, tell him the pain that brings you to this habbit and ask for his forgiveness and help. Read 1cor. 10:13.
    God love you child, He wants to show you his love–reach out to Him you will be surprised how loved you are.

  33. Hello my name is David , and God bless you for your encouraging words. I must confess I masterbate and at the moment am slipping back into the usage of pornagraphic material. I know this is wrong, but I always feel I will overcome it. There will always be time to deal with it in the future and am secure about my salvation. It is just so plain to me, do not be decieved the sexualy immoral will not inherit the kingdom of God. Dont by nature we realize masterbation is sexually immoral. How can I witness to a fornicator, or a homosexual and tell them to repent if the plank in my eye is so big you could walk across it. I want to be able to control myself, but this feeling comes over me “Just one more time” and a couple days and weeks then bam I do it agian. I have the same problem with smoking cigarettes, Ive felt this nagging on my heart to quit, but am so secure in my salvation, its like well Im not going to hell,might as well light up. But truely I want to please God not with lip service but in deed. Thank you for giving me a forum to spill my guts, please pray for me I know the prayers of the rightoues availeth much.
    Thank you and God Bless

  34. Hi, I am a 29 year old female and a virgin. I started having cybersex with a friend I had feelings for, I felt it was the only way to be connected to him since he did not feel the same way about me. We both get off during these sessions and it gives me temporary pleasure, but makes me feel guilty after. I am not in a relationship with anyone else and feel so lonely sometimes that in my mind I feel its okay.

  35. Hi Ann,
    I remember once hearing at youth group years back that “Girls give sex to get love and guys give love to get sex” and it stuck with me as a warning bell. Sadly it can be all too true. We men and women are wired so differently! I think the hard part about what you have experienced is that you have allowed yourself to be used unwisely by a selfish guy. My mentor recently said to me “Guys don’t care what the mantlepiece looks like as long as the fire is hot” and although this is not true of all men, they don’t always see how they are hurting you by feeding their desires. I would suggest that you avoid communicating with him online – it very hard to stop the cybersex if you keep up the contact as you will slip back into old habits, and as you have discovered, your justifications do make you end up feeling empty (the devil sure loves to fuel that fire that we are lonely and God is taking too long to bring someone into our lives so we’ll take slaking our desires into our own hands). You deserve the best! A real guy who has a real, deep, passionate love for you and will treat you well – in the real world. Take care – you’re worth it!

  36. I started back looking at pornography and I feel that sometimes it’s OK to watch in time of need. I am now one of those male singles in my first church who I beat up about chasing women. I now see that it’s in the Man’s blood to go after a woman whether a Christian or not. I’m waiting on the lord this to find the perfect mate for me.

  37. Hi, i’m Sarah and i’m 20 this year. I used to be so close to the Lord, i served in the worship ministry from when i was 13 to 17, and i led a cell group in youth group from 16-18. At that point of time when i was 17 i had my first serious boyfriend. He was from my cell group in church and we went to the same school together. But he broke up with me a year later. I hung on for a year, hoping and thinking that God had told me that everything would be okay, but when we didn’t reconcile, i gave up, and i allowed so much bitterness to pool into me.

    6 months later, i met a guy through a church friend, and we started dating. But not too long after, i met another christian guy who’s 5 years older than me (let’s call him Sam) in a dance class and i was immediately attracted to him. I ended up cheating on the first guy. Sam and i then decided to be in an official relationship. Sam was studying abroad then and so we juggled a long distance relationship. For 4 months we were happy, and we were planning so much for the future. Until another guy (Jo) came along. Jo is also 5 years older and he liked me a lot, and he knew about my situation with my bf, and so he took advantage of it, getting close to me and being a “best friend” to me. I tried to keep it platonic, but one day things got out of hand and i ended up cheating on Sam. I couldn’t tell Sam the truth, so i broke up with him, and although i didn’t say, he knew i broke up with him because of Jo.

    A month later, Jo dumped me. It was one of the most heart wrenching periods of my life. I gave up the man of my dreams, someone who really loved me so much, for someone who just wanted to play a game. A few months later, however, Sam and i started talking again and when he came back for good after he graduated we started dating again, we took it slow. But this time, he was different. He treated me so badly, and so many times i thought he was only with me because of physical reasons. So one day i snapped and i ended up going to a club and getting drunk and i got physical with a guy i met only a couple of days ago. I was so mortified the day after, and i was so ashamed, but i decided to tell Sam the truth this time. It was so hard and honestly, i felt so horrible and at that point of time i started to wonder – who am i.

    The night i told him, was the night he took my virginity away. He was drinking the whole night, and after that we went to a friend’s house. I told him to stop, but he didn’t want to, and at that point of time i felt like it was my punishment for cheating on him twice. (He’s had sex before and gosh, you don’t know how insecure i feel every time i think about the girls he’s slept with, i hate the feeling, but what can i do?) After that, i was just filled with so much guilt and shame. Every time we did it, i just ended up feeling more and more ashamed. Sometimes i wonder, am i going to hell for this? How can someone so tainted serve God again, at least while i’m still single and sinning?

    3 months back, Sam took a job overseas. And he’s immersed himself so much in his work i hardly have time to talk to him online or over the phone or through a cell phone. I’m taking this period of abstinence to try and pull myself back to God. And i thought maybe doing this would help me on my journey. I’m worried about Sam though, i’m so afraid that he’s throwing his salvation away. I had a talk with him a few months ago and he told me that he wasn’t interested in building up his relationship with God right now, that work’s on his topmost priority. I guess the least i can do right now is to just pray for him, and to pray for myself, and to concentrate on my own relationship with God.

    I’m just afraid that i can’t resist the temptation when he’s back. I wish i had never opened up that can of worms.

    Sorry that this was so long, but thanks 🙂

  38. Help Me!! I thought that I was over this masturbation problem that i had, but sometimes it just comes back so forcefully. Sometimes I just feel like I just want to be married and done so I don’t have to deal with it anymore. I am currently in a long distance relationship with a guy that I used to do sexual things with, but we have had a lot of conversations and we have tried to put those things behind us and not do them anymore. Sometimes when I go back to visit we slip up once or twice.
    It first started when I started dating him and our relationship got hot and heavy and we started touching and stuff and I also used to watch pornography. I have gotten over that part. However I am still struggling with masturbation. Sometimes I will go for months at a time without doing anything but then i fall back into the trap, especially when I think about my boyfriend and the things we used to do.
    Sometimes I dont even have to think about him, but my body just starts to act up and I just cant seem to get over it. Sometimes for days I really struggle and I pray and ask God to deliver me and sometimes after a week of struggling I just give in. Sometimes I feel like breaking it off with my boyfriend but we are also thinking about getting married within the next year.
    God has begun doing something in my life but everytime I slip up I feel so far from him. I am at the point where I plan on telling one of my very good friends, everything and admitting everything to her. I am a very secretive person but I can’t handle this anymore, please pray for me.

  39. Hey Sarah:)

    Aw you sound like you’ve been through quiet a bit. I read your blog…but one of the comments that really struck me was the end when you said you don’t know if you can resist the temptation. I know exactly how you feel.

    I grew up in the church, went to a private christian school-and high school. I was always rebelling against what i was brought up to learn and love. Now at 19 I realize how important Christ is in my life. Unfortunately I’ve made quiet a few mistakes that are now taking a tole on my struggle with leading a righteous life for God.

    I envy you for even finding these Christian men! I never once have dated a man that’s a believer. I’ve had 3 boyfriends since i started highschool. My most recent one (lets call him nathan:p:) him and i have just recently broken up. I keep telling myself there is no point in dating or pursuing these guys (unbelievers) because i know deep down in my heart i would never marry someone who doesn’t have faith-for so so many reasons.

    Nathan and I ended things on a good note, but i find it so hard to resist the temptation of going to his house for dinner, or going out for a late coffee at his house and ending up spending the night. he’s introduced me to so many new things sexually and i fear that im never going to experience them with anyone else again. But i feel so ashamed when i come back home from him.

    Im trying so hard to get my life back on track. I want conviction and forgiveness. I know it will be given to me but Im in so much pain from displeasing God I’ve started a ten day fast. I feel i need to humble myself and really listen for Gods voice.

    I can totally relate to how you feel. I wish I hadn’t been so foolish when i was younger, or even in the past six months. I let myself fall in love with desire and the world. Now I have to focus so hard to hear God in the midst of all my chaos.

    I;ll pray for you this week while i fast.
    Stay focused,

    Elana Clair

  40. I have masturbating for a year and had viewed pornagraphy for four years. I’m a shame. When I discovered these two activities, I didn’t know what they were and how harmful they can be. I repent constantly, but dwindle in hope or faith due to relapses. Sometimes I believe I’m a burden towards the lord. I sometimes believe I do severe harm against him. Each time I pray I beginning to believe there is no point because I think god won’t answer my prayers. Prayers to drop the porn aswell masturbation and follow him, to have a magnificent relationship with him.

    I can not accepted being called a Christian because I can’t be righteous in private unlike being who I need to be in public. I can’t accepted being called a great son, brother, or friend like my family says, because I live a lie each day. I lie to them each day. It saddens me horribly, to not really be who people percive me to. I get scared to go towards anyone for help even my brother and sisters or even, fearing that I would be rejected or transformed into a permanent outcast.

    I would really appreciate if you pray for me. I want to be who God wanted me to be, not the boy who views trash on the internet with in the darkness. I no longer want to be boy who participates in an activity percieved normal by the world. I declare in the name of lord Jesus ” that I’ll walk away from these evils to be who the Heavenly Father wants me as well not return to these evils ever again!”

  41. Hey Taylor – your struggle is tangible through your writing – and I really feel for you – but I think what speaks volumes louder to me reading your words is how much you love God and want to serve Him wholeheartedly. God knows your heart, He knows your struggles, He is with you in them. Don’t let the enemy lead you to believe that you are beyond help or hope and that praying is a waste of time – it Never is. Don’t let the Devil steal your joy in the Lord. The enemy is using your shame to distance you from your Saviour – Jesus. Christians aren’t perfect – they struggle with sin – daily – thats why we need Jesus! You are not alone in your struggle. I really encourage you to check out the christian website called blazinggrace.com, it is for christians struggling with porn, masturbation, sex addiction etc. It is really insightful and biblical – it will encourage you to understand what is happening to you and what you need to do to make better choices and why keeping to God’s plan for sex is best for us too. Bless you bro, I will be praying for you!

  42. I undrestand completly.I’ve struggled lately myself.being single isn’t easy believe me I know It requires disipline an dedication.Remember God is faithful all the time even when we aren’t. He loves us even when we did not believe.Do the hard things now and reap the rewards

  43. God delivered me from sin. I went through a really tough divorce, then got caught up with another man and stayed in tha unhealthy relationship for 4 years. I finally came back to God and realized the purpose for my life. God called me to be a leader in my church, i went through training and everything was going on cruise control, things were great, i was the happiest i’ve ever had been in my life, i grew spiritually more then ever in my life, i was reading my bible, i was a prayer warrior, I could feel the presence of God in my life, my finances, my kids lives, my family, it was awesome, but i was lonely. I prayed about it and prayed about it and prayed about, then i met (John) we’ll just call him that. He was separated from his wife, no signs of reconcilation, legally separated. I had said i wasn’t going to even consider dating him because he was not yet divorced, but when he asked, my mind said no, but my lips said yes. then i kept finding excuses as to why it was o.k. to date him. One thing led to another and we slept together. Help me I am ashamed.

    SIncerely,

    Jesus Freak

  44. I have been struggling with the issue of masturbation for some time. I am a young guy and I see it as a good relief to sexual tension. I am single and am waiting for the right one so I guess I justify its practice this way. I have felt both good and bad after doing it and have always loathed it when doing it habitually. Is there ever a right time to masturbate or should we do our best to repress it completely? Thank you

  45. Hi,
    I have been born again for almost 10 years now and I have committed the sin of fornication, masturbation and now i have been watching porn on the net, it has been happening for the past 4-5yrs now. every time it happens I would confess and get back to on track but then it happens again. i have sinned so much that at many points I am wondering whether I am destined for eternal life! all I want to do is to serve Christ Jesus who died for me on Calvary, to bring honor to Him with my body. Please pray with me, Iwant out form this detestable sin!

  46. Hi all,

    I am so blessed to come across this site. I struggled with sexual chats with strangers, porn, and masturbation while living in the dorms in college about 7 years ago… this continued until 4 years ago. I felt sooooo guilty afterwards every time. And I kept praying for repentence. Finally I ended up moving in with my family, and with no real alone time, I ended up giving up the habit which was great. When I had the house to myself, I had to face the temptation again, but God helped me through it.
    Ever since I have had only pure thoughts, because I listen to Christian music, or classical, read the bible or christian fiction, pray and DO NOT watch ANY movies that talk about sex, sexual parts, or implied sexuality. Also, I have been single the entire time…
    Fast forward to 2 months ago. I met an awesome Christian guy. We have been dating for only a month (we hung out a month before dating) and the most we have done is hold hands. However, that itself is too much for me, and all of the lustful thoughts that I felt dissappeared years ago have allllll come back. Just being close to him (because I really like him and he’s attractive) gets me ‘turned on’ and holding his hands or caressing hands is wayyy too much for me.
    I am a technical virgin but did stuff with other guys years ago before vowing to abstain and now I can’t stop thinking about my boyfriend sexually. I feel HORRIBLE about my thoughts because he is a new Christian and I worry that I will lead him into sin if I don’t learn how to control my lustful thoughts which may become lustful actions. Please pray for me because I think he could end up being my husband in the future but since we are not married now, these thoughts are just lustful and defiling to God, and if we dont’ get married, i would hate to cause him to sin sexually or even get his lustful thoughts rolling again (he confessed to being addicted to porn in the past). thanks for letting me confess and please pray that I replace these horrible thoughts with Godly ones.

  47. Well Im a christian and have been for 20 or so years. Ive struggle with pornorgraphy so much these past four years.

    Each time I tell myself I’ll stop but keep going back.

    Im so stressed as Im trying to be involved with youth ministry and other church work to assist me with my walk.

    I dont know who to talk to or to share my inner struggles. At nights I wake up crying and so weak.

    Its a vicious cycle. Im a virgin physically but spiritually am lost, broken and lost.

    I know that I can be victorious and I know God is using this situation to help me find myself in Him.

    Im crying for deliverance and also for an accountability partner who will help thru this phase.

    Please remember me in your prayers and I look forward to hearing from you on an online course to assist me.

    Thanks soo much,

    Lost Mary.

  48. This is a long one…I am a born again christian who clearly understands the impact of sexual sin however i have fallen. My boss at work has been pursuing me for the last one year. I had successfully put him off but he never seemed to give up. Somehow we travelled for a conference and i think he had it all planned out well. One thing let to another and the next i know, we had sex. That day i lost my virginity at 29 years. I feel horrible because i was like the main preacher of abstenance and sex in marriage at church but look wat i did?

    I need prayers of deliverance from every soul tie i have with him. I also pray for total deliverance from masturbation.

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