Courtship Love or Casual Dating

casual dating versus courtship

The casual dating versus courtship love debate rages on in some conservative Christian circles. Ever since Joshua Harris’ bestselling book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye came out, this question has come to the forefront: Should Christian singles interested in the opposite sex practice casual dating or Christian courtship?

But let’s pose another question that cuts to the heart of the matter: Which model, casual dating or courtship, has better end results viz-a-viz pre-marital sex, domestic violence, infidelity and divorce rates?

Both sides voice their highly dogmatic views, but the raw truth of the matter is that we simply don’t yet know the answer. It’s going to take several decades before Christian social scientists can measure what real difference, if any, the modern courtship love movement has made on marriages and families. Until then, I believe both sides should put James 1:19 into practice: “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to listen, slow to speak, slow to wrath.”

By the way, what do most single Christians feel about the issue? They’re mostly apathetic and the vast majority date in traditional ways as their parents and grandparents did.

For our part, Christian Dating Service PLUS does not believe in the concept of casual dating because we feel:

A romantic relationship should never be an end in itself, but should have the goal of working toward marriage. Additionally, if the couple are single Christians, we would expect that this relationship would be under the lordship of Jesus.

However, we also believe there is a place for traditional dating outside the teen years, and so don’t feel the courtship and dating issue needs to be couched as an either/or proposition. The best of dating and courtship can be combined.

Are you a singles pastor or Christian single with a different take on casual dating and courtship? Please help other singles sharing your views on courtship and love.

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Comments

4 Responses to “Courtship Love or Casual Dating”

Christian Teens, Dating and Sex « Christian Singles Radio Blog » Blog Archive on September 16th, 2006 8:00 pm

[...] One of my friends who ministers to Christian Teen girls and boys recently lamented: “Christian teens are confused. They get preached to endlessly about things like courtship and dating, and the dangers of having sex before marriage, but have little real leadership by example from those at home or in the church. No wonder a large number of Christian teens get discouraged, and leave the church when they go to college.” Hello! If you are a Christian teen (or older Christian single) who feels like you really blew it with God, and don’t know where to turn, remember the Heavenly Father is always willing to accept you where you are (1 John 1:9). You can also go to Him 24/7. Really. [...]
Larry Phillips on October 4th, 2006 1:50 pm

The biggest issue that Christians are forgeting about is this: It is not about us, or our happiness, it’s about God. When we surrender our lives to God, He will call all the shots in your life. Every part of your life belongs to the Lord Jesus. Your lovelife, worklife, sexlife, homelife, churchlife, everything. If your life is committed to serving Jesus, and He determines you need a helpmate, He will send one.
funlovingguy on February 1st, 2008 6:19 pm

Casual dating or courtship dating can suit different single Christians at different stages in their lives. It’s not something to feel ashamed about as long as it doesn’t go against your beliefs or the laws that govern a sane and proper society. Enjoy your casual dating adventures to the fullest because there are a lot of worse things than that.
jojo on May 8th, 2008 2:35 pm

well, casual dating 2 me has 2 come b/4 courtship dating (though not in all cases), so i really don’t know wot d arguement is all abt, but i think in any kind of dating we engage in, sex shld be completely ruled out. try n imagine if jesus wld like wot ur doing with ur date.