Dating Advice: How to Break Up约会建议：如何打破
A famous 50s break up song gives us this little bit of dating advice on how to break up: “Breaking up is hard to do.” No, ya think?一位著名的50首歌曲打破了这个让我们有点约会就如何打破： “分手是很难做到。 ”没有，亚认为呢？
Whether you are a Christian single couple in a courtship or an online dating relationship, how you break up a relationship will be emotionally painful for both of you.无论你是一个基督教单一的夫妇在求偶或网上约会的关系，您如何打破的关系将是痛苦的感情，对双方你。 If you are contemplating a break up of your dating relationship, considering the following dating advice may help you avoid a wrong decision, while making it as easy and painless as possible.如果您正在考虑中断了您的约会关系，考虑下列约会的意见可以帮助您避免一个错误的决定，同时使这一过程变得更容易和无痛的。
6 Dating Advice Tips on Break Ups and Ending a Relationship 6日约会建议突破技巧和期末盛衰关系
Ask the Lord for wisdom ( see James 1:5) 卖出上帝的智慧（见詹姆斯1:5 ）
As a single Christian, praying for guidance and wisdom in the matter of a break up should be the very first course of action before making any dating decisions.作为一个单一的基督教，祈祷的指导和智慧在这个问题上的分裂应该是第一个行动之前作出任何决定约会。 You will be less likely to make a mistake if you do so.你将不太可能犯了一个错误，如果你这样做。
Discuss the break up possibility with family and friends 讨论有可能打破与家人和朋友
God often leads through our parents’ dating advice, even if they are not Christians.上帝往往导致通过我们的父母约会的意见，即使不是基督徒。 Proverbs teaches that there is wisdom in using a multiplicity of counselors, so also discuss the possibility of a break up with trusted Christian friends.谚语任教，有智慧，用各种各样的辅导，所以还讨论了可能打破基督教与值得信赖的朋友。 They may very well give you some much needed advice that helps you make a decision, or puts the relationship in a completely different light.他们很可能给你一些急需的咨询，帮助您做出决定，或提出的关系在一个完全不同的光。 Be sure to use these valuable resources.一定要利用这些宝贵的资源。
Be honest, but speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15) 坦率地讲，但讲真话的爱（以弗所书4:15 ）
Never bash your dating partner personally, which will only hurt them even more and affect their self worth for quite some time.从来没有庆祝您亲自伙伴约会，这将只会伤害他们更加和影响他们的自我价值相当长的一段时间。 Do you really want to do that?你真的想这样做吗？ Instead, tenderly explain why you feel God’s leading you to end the relationship.相反，温柔地解释为什么你觉得上帝的领先结束你的关系。 As you do this, remember the “Golden Rule”, and how it would feel if someone was breaking up with you.正如你做到这一点，记住的“黄金规则” ，以及它如何会觉得如果有人打破与您联系。
While face to face conversation allows for far better closure, if that is not possible, a handwritten letter is the next best thing.虽然面对面的交谈使好得多关闭，如果这是不可能的，一张手写的信是未来最好的事情。 A typed or emailed “Dear John” letter is seen as cold and mean.阿输入或通过电子邮件发送“亲爱的约翰”的信被看作是冷的意思。
Don’t delay the inevitable 不要拖延不可避免
Okay, you’ve prayed over the break up.好吧，您祈祷的破裂。 You’ve discussed the issues with family, minister and friends.您已经讨论了与家人的问题，部长和朋友。 You know what you need to do.你知道你需要做的。 Delaying the obvious now will not only cause more pain for both of you, but will delay the healing process.明显的延缓现在不仅会造成更多的痛苦你们两位，但会延迟愈合过程。 By acting now, you give the Lord opportunity to begin leading both of you to the soulmates He has in mind.现在采取行动，你给上帝机会开始领先你们两位的soulmates他铭记。
Many delay break ups because they may be using the other person until “something better” comes along.许多拖延打破起伏，因为他们可能使用的其他人，直到“更好”来的。 Another reason for delayed break ups is that the other person is manipulating by putting the person who wants the break up on a “guilt trip” to remain in an unhealthy dating situation.另一个原因推迟打破起伏的是，其他人是把操纵的人谁希望打破了“有罪之旅”留在不健康的约会情况。
Make a clean break 请一刀两断
Right, this is going to be hard, but you must be strong here because it is in the best interests of both to move forward.对呀，这将是很难，但你必须是强有力这里，因为这是最好的利益，也向前迈进。 This means after the break up there should be no face to face meetings (if possible), no emails, telephone calls, letters, etc. While some couples may agree to remain friends, the data suggests that in over 90% of breakups, this fails miserably, and only lengthens the healing process.这意味着后，打破不应该有面对面的会议（如可能的话） ，没有电子邮件，电话，信函等虽然有些夫妇可能同意继续的朋友，这些数据表明，在90 ％以上的碎裂，这没有惨败，只有延长了愈合过程。
Learn from the dating experience 学习经验的约会
Use this dating experience to learn from your mistakes, and build on the future.使用此约会的经验，学习你的错误，并在此基础上的未来。 What has the Lord taught you about yourself?有什么上帝告诉你自己呢？ What has he taught you about what you need in a husband or a wife?是什么，他教你什么你需要一个丈夫或妻子？ If you’ve sexually sinned in this relationship, remember Jesus forgives and cleanses (1John 1:9).如果您已性病罪在这种关系中，记住耶稣原谅和净化（ 1John一时09分） 。 Finally, thank Him for the bright plans He has for you (Jer. 29:11).最后，感谢他对光明的计划，他对你（ Jer. 29:11 ） 。
Are you single with dating advice to share about break ups?您单身约会咨询与交流的突破起伏？ Feel free to comment here.随时在这里评论。
Related Posts: 相关文章：
Dating Tip: Learning How to Argue and Fight约会提示：学习如何争辩和扑灭
Dating Advice: When to Dump a Dating Relationship约会建议：当倾倒一约会关系
Christian Singles Secrets基督教单打的秘密
How should you handle your first relationship after a big break-up?你应该如何处理你的第一个关系后，一个大突破了吗？
-Don’t compare ，多纳€ ™吨比较
-Slowly but sure缓，但肯定
-Do it differently道不同的
-Don’t make trouble ，多纳€ ™吨制造麻烦
-Learn from the past学习从过去的
Ending a relationship is never easy but the pain does go away.结束了关系，绝非易事，但没有疼痛消失。 It goes away faster if you start dating again.它消失速度更快，如果你开始约会了。 You’ll find you feel better about yourself and your confidence is boosted right away.你会发现你感觉更好的你和你的信心是增加了。
what if we attend the same church?如果我们参加同一教堂吗？
What if we’re in the same band and attend the same church?如果我们在同一频段，并参加同样的教堂吗？
Like people have written before, what if you are at the same church, club, band, whatever?如同人的书面前，如果你是在同一教会，俱乐部，乐队，不管？ Asking for a clean break completely, forever is a little impractical.要求彻底划清界限，永远是一个没有不切实际的。
I also have no idea where you got the 90% failure rate of friendships.我也有不知道你有90 ％失败率的友谊。 I would say it’s more around 50% or less, if there is some time taken at the beginning to start the healing process separately.我想说的是更多的50 ％左右或更低，如果有一段时间采取年初开始愈合过程分开。
I would suggest you try and make a clean break and completely cut contact (as much as you can) for 1-2 months.我会建议您尝试，使一刀两断，并彻底断绝联系（多达你可以）为1-2个月。 This means personal contact between the two of you.这意味着个人接触，两国之间的你。 You might want to avoid going to church or home group during this time too, but this isn’t always necessary, especially if you civily agree between the two of you that it is not necessary - you will just be civil in those situations.您可能想要避免前往教堂或家集团在此期间也，但是这并不总是必要的，特别是如果您civily同意两国之间的你，这是没有必要-你将只是民间在这种情况下。
After the agreed time get together, in a public space and give yourselves some closure.后在商定的时间走到一起，在一个公共空间，给你们一些关闭。 There might be a few questions that you might want answered, and closure is good for peace of mind.可能有几个问题，你可能想回答，并关闭有利于和平的心态。 Then see if you can work on friendship from that point.然后看看你是否可以工作的友谊了这一点。 If you had been together for a long time and the break up wasn’t messy they CAN become a friend.如果你已经在一起了很长一段时间并打破不乱，他们可以成为朋友。 It might be a bit tricky at first, but you will adjust to them being a friend if that is something you both want.也许是有点棘手在第一，但你会调整正在向他们的朋友，如果这是你的东西都想要的。 In my personal experience ALL the instances where the for desire friendship has been mutual, friendship has been achieved (it takes time! So give yourselves space and time)以我个人的经验，所有的情况下，友谊的愿望一直相互的，友谊已经取得了（这需要时间！所以给自己的空间和时间）
What is in world is all this about being civil and “trying” to be friends after a break?是什么在世界上是所有这一切对公民和正在“试图”成为朋友后，打破？ Where is the love of CHRIST?哪里是基督之爱？ Where is the AGAPE that we all strive for?哪里是爱，我们都努力争取？ If it isn’t present in a relationship, then a break is warranted.如果是不存在的关系，然后休息是必要的。 How can two walk together unless they agree?如何才能两个一起走，除非他们同意吗？ Come now people, if you are walking on eggshells or are unable to be a sister or brother in Christ to one that you once shared many of your waking hours with, what kind of a relationship did you have to begin with?现在的人，如果你走在蛋壳或无法将一个姐妹或兄弟在基督里的一个，你一旦有许多共同的觉醒小时，一个什么样的关系，你有没有开始呢？ It certainly wasn’ta biblical courtship.这当然不是圣经的求爱。 The relationships many of you speak of seem to swing more towards the carnal and not the spiritual.许多关系的你所说的似乎更多的回旋的肉体，而不是精神上的。 In biblical courtship, you weigh each other with God’s word.在圣经的求爱，你权衡彼此在上帝的词。 Not to be confused with judgment or finding faults, but you weigh them according to God’s word and His will for walk and ministry in His Kingdom.不要混淆判断或寻找故障，但你权衡他们根据上帝的话和他的意愿，步行和部委在他的王国。
Tricky?整蛊？ Since when does something that God has put together have remnants of trickery?由于当时没有的东西，上帝已经把有残留物的弄虚作假？ If you are a friend to someone, there are no tricks in solidifying what God has put together.如果你是一个朋友给某人，没有任何花招在巩固哪些上帝的总和。
Public space?公共空间？ Closure?封闭？ This is all so secular?这是所有所谓的世俗？ Who gave you a spirit of fear?谁给了你的精神恐惧？ Who gave you the need to “seek” closure?谁给了你需要“寻求”关闭？ The ENEMY.敌人。 Our relationships with one another should never be closed, but open to pray, one unto another.我们的关系，彼此绝不应关闭，但开放的祈祷，祂另一之一。 I pray for the men I have parted with and even the father of my children.我祈祷的男子我分手，甚至父亲我的孩子。 I do not fear them, despise them, or wish them ill will.我不害怕他们，看不起他们，并祝他们或恶意。 I love them as Christ loves me.我爱它们作为基督爱我。
Be elevated in your faith and your way of thinking.提升在你们的信仰和你们的思维方式。 God’s thoughts are not our thoughts, but it is His desire for us to line ourselves up with Him and seek counsel on what to say with wisdom and on each and every step we are to make in our lives.上帝的想法不是我们的想法，但它是他的愿望，我们能够按照自己的命，并寻求律师说什么的智慧和每个步骤我们要在我们的生活中。