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Dating Advice: When to Dump a Dating Relationship

dump a relationshipMost Christian singles dating advice experts suggest that the primary purpose of a dating relationship is to determine whether or not the relationship is a match that willl lead toward marriage. The problem is that many singles stay in potentially harmful dating relationships they should have ended long ago.

 Overstaying a Dating Relationship

Whether the single people involved include a senior dating couple, single parents or college students, the top three reasons daters give for overstaying a romantic or dating relationship remain unchanged:

  • Fear of being alone
  • Fear and/or guilt over what the other person will feel or do
  • Fear of exchanging the the familiar for the unknown

Dating Tips: Relationship Red Flags

The dating advice here is that if you have one or more of the following dating relationship red flags, you should seriously reconsider whether this person is your lifetime soul mate:

  • Does your dating partner verbally and/or physically abuse you? An abusive relationship works in a cycle like this: The abuser commits the act, but then apologizes profusely. The other dating single forgives the incident, and the dating relationship continues. Unfortunately, the abuse cycle repeats itself over and over again.

  • Is your guy or girl overly controlling, possessive or jealous? An example of this type of behavior: She wants to go out with her girlfriends, but he “won’t allow it”, or makes her feel guilty for doing so.

  • Do most of your family members and friends think you are making a huge mistake? Harmful dating relationships are easy to spot–unless you are the one in them! That’s why it’s important to listen, however difficult, to what the people close to us are saying.

  • Does either dating party lack trust in the other? No dating relationship, let alone a marriage, can survive without implicit trust and faithfulness.

  • Have you caught your dating interest lying about insignificant details? Remember, if your date finds it easy to lie about “little things”, he or she will certainly do so about the biggies.

  • Does the other person never seem to have time for you, or make excuses why you cannot be together? If this is the case you can be sure that there is either boredom or disinterest in the dating relationship.

  • Is he or she helping you get closer to Jesus, or causing you to sin and fall away? Have you fallen into sexual sin and/or lost your passion for Christ and His word?

Overall, remember the Lord is the one ultimately in charge of your dating relationship, and He promises to meet your every need (Phil. 4:19). He will lead you to the right person as you surrender to Him, but He also wants us to use our common sense. So use the above dating tips as common sense advice to help guide your dating relationship.

Are you a single Christian with other dating relationship red flags to share? Please consider helping others by sharing your dating advice here.

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11 Comments

  1. I thank God for this website. I came read to get some encouragement and some information. God loves us, and is concern about our personal struggles. We must continue to pray and fast. And God will give us the strength that we need. God bless us Single, In the Name of Jesus

  2. I found this article not only very insightful but also very helpful t a time when I need it the most…

    Thank you for publishing it!

  3. Very helpful insights. Although I need to add that some self proclaimed Christians are absolutely the worst deceivers of all. They are in christian dating networks portraying themselves as Mr. Righteous who loves the Lord. Always listen to your gut. When you feel that sheep your with might be a wolf, chances are he is. Get out and have nothing to do with him.
    See Titus 3: 10 – 11

  4. My girlfriend has accused me of lying on several occations. I do not lie and she won’t hear my reasoning. She has taken my words out of context. I think she has a trust issue.

  5. I think that this is a very helpful article. I have been in a unhealthy and unchristian relationship for seven years. I have tryed to leave him but he convinces me to stay. Now I have a daughter with him and I do not know what to do because I do not have no where to go. I advice especially for young people, to really give your whole life to God and not to let your emotions guide you. Please pray for me so God can give me wisdom on this matter.

  6. i have only one red flag here…. he doesn’t have time for me. He can always find time for his friends though. It has even gone to the point wherein he has to cancel time with me to go out with his friends. that really was the last piece. Because everything went downhill afer that. I couldn’t understand why he could easily put me off. I couldn’t understand why he couldn’t just bring me when they hang out. Some bring their girlfriends along but he doesn’t do that. Makes me feel like he’s ashamed of me or something. i just don’t understand it.

  7. i have a question can anyone please answer this one

    i am currently in a relationship with someone who just accepted jesus as her savior i was the one who shared the gospel to her before that i didn’t want to jump into a relationship with her because i knew it was wrong
    but my question is how do i really know if she accepted jesus
    she cant go to my church cause her mom wont allow her to go and so she hasnt been really fed spiritually yet and before she accpeted jesus she was also a good person too so how can i distinguish the change and i want to know if what im currently doing is right.

  8. I found this article very helpful, it showed me that my relationship with my boyfriend, is not a good one. Our relationship points to all of these red flags 🙁 . Please pray for me, so I could have the strength to move on. & for God to heal my broken heart, & for him to soon put my soulmate in my life . God Bless You ! <3

  9. I really appreciate this site, I know its God’s design that I opened this page.

    I am currently undregoing tremendous stress as a result of heartbreak. Most things stated above really applied to me. My fiance left me some months back because she feels I am insultive, very authoritative and prone to anger.

    She loved me so much for the past five years until now that she made up her mind that it is over. Though for the fear of God we never had sex, we were really close to God. We have always been source of encouragement to each other. Though she has her shortcomings which make me take certain stands on her.

    I have learnt greatly from my pitfalls, I pray God forgive me, because she said she has forgiven me. I wish we are still together in love till we get married and till Christ come to take us home.

    Let His will be done in my life in Jesus’ name. Amen!

    Amos, Nigeria

  10. I am struggling with deciding whether or not to end a relationship that I have been in for a year and a half.

    Four of the red flags listed above exist in our relationship – abuse/forgiveness cycle, parents/friends warnings, lacking trust, and sin/falling away from Jesus.

    I truly love him, and am willing to forgive. But I have reached the point where I need to get out, or we need to make some serious changes. I am afraid to give up on the hope that the Lord can change hearts. When do I know when its too much?

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