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Dating After a BreakUp

dating after-a-breakupDating after a breakup  of a serious relationship can be tricky experience for any single, Christian or not. Self esteem issues, rejection and the ever lurking possibility of a rebound relationships are things singles need to be cognizant of after reentering the the dating world after a breakup.

Do you think you are ready for dating after a breakup? Most experts in the field suggest daters wait at least a year after you break up, whether you’re thinking about dating after a divorce or coming out of a dating relationship that lasted for more than 1 year. Consider the following questions as you ponder if you are ready for dating after a breakup.

Dating After a Breakup Tips

  • Do you hold bitterness or an unforgiving spirit toward your ex dating partner?
  • Were you sexually active during your relationship?
  • Do you have dreams of getting back with him or her?

Answering yes to any of the above means you are DEFINITELY not ready to get back into the dating market. If you feel you pass the test and are ready to date again, here are some tips:

First of all, now that you are single take some time to enjoy your freedom. Whatever you do, don’t rush to get into another relationship just because you want to be in one. You will only cause hurt feelings and broken hearts. Take some time to move on and think about what you are looking for in a relationship.

Remember to accept other people that you date for who they are. Some people look for somebody exactly like their ex and reject everyone who is different. Other people try to avoid anybody who reminds them of their ex. Just accept people for who they are and if you feel a connection, don’t be scared to enter a relationship, and do not compare people to your ex.

Don’t expect a date to end up in a long term relationship. If you do this, you will be setting yourself up for another fall. Remember that you cannot act the same way with a new person as you did with your ex, but don’t hesitate to enjoy yourself and do the same activities that you did with your ex before the relationship became very serious.

Above all have fun. If you cannot enjoy yourself because you are still too hurt, then you should hold off on dating for a while more.


Christian Dating Service

2 Comments

  1. Linda B

    I was engaged to a man I used to work with. After our break up, he quickly moved on to a relationship that didn’t work out. Months passed by and he started looking for me again. This time around, he wanted to just “hang out with me” while he figured out what he wanted to do with his life, because according to him, he was a “confussed person.” I let him back into my life because I loved him and unfortunately still do. Unfortunately, things took an unexpected turn, weeks later after our “reconection” I found out he had become really “good friends” with another woman from our work place who had recently broke up with her ex-fiance. I found out mutual flirting texts from each other, all happening maybe from before and during the time he was looking for me. Such discovery made me feel so stupid and humilliated. Later, I found out this woman has spent nights at his apartment the times me and him didn’t hang out. I noticed that when I tried to get a hold of him and was unsuccesful was because he was spending time with her. He keeps on denying there is anything going on between the two of them, she has denied everything too.

    They both claim they only hang out as friends but I don’t believe either. If such was a case why would my ex-fiance, who’s trying to keep me in his life hide who his friends are? Why she, a woman I thought was my friend, would not even attempt to come clean about becoming such good friends with the man I still love? She would not like it if I was to hang out with her ex-fiance in the same way, I know this because they were together over 7 years and they only broke up no more than 4 months ago and she has stated she is not over him yet.

    As it is obvious, I feel insulted, humiliated, and stupid. The worst part of it all is that I don’t know how to ignore this man when he looks for me. It hurts so much to know that even if I ignore him, he has replacement ready to go. I know I need to let go of this man, I’d just don’t know how to. I guess I need to know what exactly is going on between my ex-fiance and his “friend”, just like I need to know why he keeps on looking for me if he doesn’t want a relationship with me. He stated he doesn’t want to be alone for long, but he won’t commit to me at the same time that he doesn’t want me to spend time with other guys. This is all too confusing and toxic. It is abvious I need help with my situation.

  2. Bretz

    It’s really hard to date again after having a break up, especially when it is your first break up…thoughts that will sink into your mind… like you’ll be rejected or you’ll just gonna get hurt again. feelings that first timers will truly feel when dating after having a break up..

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