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Dealing With Guilt as a Single Christian

Many single Christians have told us that dealing with guilt is one of the biggest drains on their personal relationships, self-esteem and spiritual lives. The bottom line is that inappropriately dealing with guilt can destroy our lives and those around us.

Top Areas Where We Are Dealing With Guilt

Dealing with guilt as a single person can come from many different areas of our lives.

Dealing with Guilt in our Dating Relationships

This is a biggie. Many Christians walk around with this heavy burden of guilt because they are allowing sexual impurity in their dating lives. I know I am speaking to some who are weary (hey, I’ve been there, done that) of all the double-mindedness, but can’t quite get up the strength to turn around. So they live with guilt like a millstone tied around their necks, and it’s chokng every bit of spiritual joy out their lives. Sound vaguely familiar?

Other takes on dealing with guilt in dating relationships include:

  • Remaining in a relationship  liaison that you know you should have never entered in the first place. For example, Dating an unbeliever and all that goes along with that.
  • Remaining in a relationship for all the wrong reasons such as convenience or fear over how the other person may react to the news that you’re breaking up with them.

Dealing With the Guilt of Being Single

Much of this guilt is hoisted upon us by those misguided but well meaning friends, family and church members who insist on wanting to to know why we (The great catches that we are!) are still single after all these years.

Not a few singles have gotten quite pissed off at others for pointing out their continued single state. For this reason, many singles avoid church events that are flush with married couples, and holiday celebrations where the topic will most likely come up.

Dealing With Guilt as a Single Parent

In the US alone, there are 13 million single parents living with their children. Many of these are Christian single parents who deal with guilt in so many different areas of their lives:

  • Guilt over getting a divorce or having a child out of wedlock
  • Guilt over not being able to provide better for the children
  • Guilt over even taking a few hours away from the children to go on a date. And that’s only the tip of the iceberg. there are many other potential areas a single parent dating may be be tempted to feel guilty.

How to Deal with Guilt

Understand What Guilt Means

Guilt literally means “delinquency” or “culpability”. If you ask the average person on the street what guilt means they will say it’s a feeling they get when they feel like they,ve done something wrong.

Therefore, it’s important to identify the source of your guilt to determine if it is really appropriate for you to feel this way, or if you’re dealing with what we call false guilt. As Christians we need to remember that Satan , also known as the Accuser, specializes in putting believers on false guilt trips. If you are dealing with inappropriate guilt, you need to claim God’s promises found in Romans 8: “There is no condemnation now for those in Christ Jesus.”

Learn to Forgive Yourself

If you are dealing with guilt deemed appropriate, remember you need to forgive yourself just as Christ has forgiven you. Do I need to repeat 1 John 1:9?: “If we confess our sins (guilt) He is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” How amazing is that!

Jesus IS your peace, and He has actually made peace with your past screw ups. Don’t allow the enemy to bring you back to something that’s been washed away. Okay?

Are you a Christian single dealing with guilt? Feel free to share your burdens with us.

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7 Comments

  1. […] lives. Not a few have written us asking for help with their lack of self control in this area, and how to deal with the guilt over it. The top culprits of habitual masturbation, porn addiction and sex before marriage has […]

  2. JANE

    A WOMAN AT MY CHURCH SAID A BAD MARRIAGE IS BETTER THAN NO MARRIAGE AT ALL AND IF YOU DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN THERE WOULD BE NO ONE TO TAKE CARE OF YOU IN YOUR OLD AGE AND NO ONE TO COME SEE YOU IN THE NURSING HOME.

  3. David Butler (Author)

    Jane:

    What a distorted view! All I can say is that there is no need to be dealing with the “guilt” of being singles. There is absolutely no shame in being single. And remember this: The Lord is our provider, and He will provide for all of our needs.

    David

  4. Ken

    I’m glad to see someone is bringing dealing with guil and these things up. I need to hear this kind of counsel and ndentify with the issues.

  5. Anonymous

    As a single Christian, it is very difficult to discuss and even deal with guilt from sexual sin.

    Anything can trigger your former actions you want so desperatly to forget… I would love to see an article that teaches us to forgive ourselves from past sexual sin and present lustful thoughts.

  6. Fram3Runn3r

    How can we even ask for forgiveness when we keep messing up? My Spirit WANTS to do right,
    But I DO wrong.
    What kind of creature am I?

    Hard to claim I am a follower of Christ when I screw up OVER and OVER
    🙁

  7. Sabrina

    @Jane. That person who said all that judgemental stuff to you doesn’t know what they are talking about. Besides, having kids is no guarantee that they’re going to take care of you. Doesn’t that personal realize how many parent out there are estranged from adult children or maybe the kids live too far from the nursing home to visit regularly?

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