Do Not Be Unequally Yoked!

Do you believe in the saying, “Do not be unequally yoked?”  The following is the story of a single Christian teenager who is struggling with the Scriptures and being unequally yoked:

I broke up with my boyfriend who is a unbeliever and I’m trying to tell myself that I did the right thing, but honestly I still have hope for our relationship.  I’m having a hard time to see that it can’t work out.

In 2 Corinthians 6:14-16, it says not to mix with things that are wicked and that a believer and unbeliever has nothing in common, but my ex-boyfriend is not wicked. He happens to have very high morals, and he does not worship idols. We have many things in common and he is very open-minded to my beliefs, but he feels that is no possible way to really prove that miracles exits (due to the focus of our topic, I will not fully discuss why that is). We discuss the Bible and share our deep passion for the truth. In fact, I think being with him makes me closer to  God because I am able to analyze the Bible in such great depth that I have never had done before.

In my church everyone believes that a believer can not be with an unbeliever, and because of this I feel ashamed, and cursed because of it. They say that I’m going for second best in my life, but I believe that we are so compatible and perfect for each other. How are they to judge how our relationship is righteous or wicked?

Before I got into a  dating relationship with him, my church told me to right down everything I wanted in a man, and this unbeliever is everything I wished for, except that he is not Christian. I might have compromised, but it is because I believe that nothing can separate my love for Christ and I could still honor Him.

In my heart, I feel as if we are already married. I believe that my marriage will be sanctified by God through me. (1 Corinthians 7:14) We even discussed about how we would raise our children and he’s perfectly fine about me raising them to be Christians. I feel as if it is certain Christians who believe in this doctrine are the ones who make it bad. Spiritually, they are cursing the relationship. What makes you think that it won’t work out righteously?

Please comment. I’ve notice that there has been no comments on relationship with believers who are dating highly moral people.

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6 Responses to “Do Not Be Unequally Yoked!”

  1. Kitty Lee on April 24th, 2010 8:04 pm

    I too am in your exact position and my boyfriend wants me to really think about the fact that I may resent him one day. I love him and he is perfect for me in every way except that he too is the type to need proof. He is fine with me raising our children to learn of Christ but it is not something he wants in his life now. I think that is mostly due to the disappointment of some churches to his family members that were in need. I try to explain to him that we are all sinners and even church officials sometimes do not do right by God and that he should not blame that on God, He is stubborn and I know I have to accept that he may never come around but I know that he wants me to be happy and would never tell me what not to believe. So now he has asked me to really think things through to see if we should continue. I don’t want to be guilted into anything even by the bible. I pray and so far I have no doubts that we should be together.

  2. Rose on April 26th, 2010 5:42 pm

    This is for both of you. I was save 2003 and I was dating this guy in college for 5 years. I prayed and prayed asked for several signs for us to be together…I wanted to break it off but I loved him so much. God told me from the beginning that this guy was not for me….and i had to suffer the consequence…when i could have broke it off early on…for both of you if you guys do keep the relationship you guys are in now it might be hard to raise children with Christian foundation especially if the male who is suppose to be the head of the household is not in support or is helping you to do so,

  3. James on May 31st, 2010 4:45 am

    Mam, I have to remind you. The second verse starts out saying do not do it. Then it says if you are already married. Do not divorce.
    With that Said I want to encourage you to get with a group of real praying believers and pray for him. If this is desire is so firmly in your heart. Keep him continually lifted up before the throne.
    My little sister, I have made the same mistake so many times. Just now the Father has brought a woman in to my life. Who truly is my other half. Her very love of him makes all the other times ( I KNEW) pale. My hearts unspoken desires are hers. One of us can be speaking of some long awaited dream. The other can complete it.

    This is not to compare necessarily. It is a reminder. All who had come before where just shadows. SHALOM

  4. Leilani on July 29th, 2010 1:41 pm

    Hey girls,
    I juts wanted to share with you what I have learned about being in an “unequally yoked” relationship. One thing to keep in mins is that the only way to TRULY know how to love someone, is to know God. I have found this to be an extreme truth. It wasn’t until I really experienced and embraced all the love that God has for me, that I was able to share that love with someone else. The same goes for al people. It is impossible to have a true love for someone unless you have experienced true love yourself.. and true love IS our Father. If you are in a relationship with an unbeliever, it is impossible for him to love you (with that true, perfect, never ending love) if he himself has never experienced that love from Jesus. I know movies and books can totally twist all things about what “love” even is..It is not a feeling, it is not butterflies in your stomach, but it is exactly what God says it is.
    ..”Love is patient, Love is kind.. True Love Never Fails.”
    -1 Corinthians 13:4

    **Also, the Bible says that it is the man who is to be the leader of the house one day, It says that he is to give up his life, just as Christ did for the church, purifying the church and making it whole. How can a non believer carry out this command? A non believer can not lead you in your walk with Christ…something that every girl needs (being that we are the weaker vessel) :)
    with much love -Leilani

  5. ashley on September 4th, 2010 3:56 pm

    Leilani i believe you have a lot of wisdom in what you say.

    I broke up with my long distance boyfriend recently, but we still talk to each other, and really, there is no big difference in our phone conversations. We are friends with “potential”.

    The thing is, he is an athiest. he says he believes in some God actually, but he knows nothing about the salvation of jesus Christ.

    I wonder so many times….WhY did God bring him into my life!? Why did i meet him!? it has to be for some purpose. Is that purpose to test me? To see if i really DO love God? or am i supposed to plant a seed into this guys heart?

    I keep thinking i could fall in love with this guy. i don’t want to let him go. As a senior in high school, i still have a lot of years ahead of me though (Lord willing). And i want the man i marry someday to truly love God and to truly love me. Love is so important. And i pray that God will show ME how to love so that i can love my future husband as well.

    I WANT TO ADD SOMETHING! =D..
    Psalm 9:18 says “Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.”

    i have no idea how my relationship with my “potential ” boyfriend is gonna work out, but i trust that God will guide me into His perfect will.

    That’s the beauty of life with Christ! You don’t have to have all the answers!!!!!!!! =D God reveals His will to those who are obedient to Him and to those who love Him.

    I’m just thankful right now that this boy IS in my life, and I know that God loves him.

    Im talking too much=P BYE!! Thank you. <3

  6. betsy on January 26th, 2011 1:13 pm

    To all those beautiful young ladies who so desperately want to be in love and be loved completely and purely…I’m in agreement with the other comments about why you shouldn’t be unequally yoked with an unbeliever. What most don’t like to hear is what the enemy is trying to do with you being unequally yoke. The enemy is slick and has a ton of patience…he wears a mask in so many ways because if he just comes out and shows his real face to you in the beginning then he knows you will recognize him. Although the enemy was quick at deceiving Eve…he appears to us in so many different ways and I assure you he is not in a hurry. The longer he can deceive you the more pain he will cause you.
    Maybe my story will help…the enemy deceived me into believing I could change a persons heart….I thought his heart was moldable by me!!! I married him had 3 beautiful children by a man that didn’t have a commitment to my Lord and Savior…I literally went through hell on earth…after 10 years of marriage…seeing affair after affair…being the only spiritual leader to my kids…watching my chidrens hearts be crushed by a painful divorce…BEAUTIFUL YOUNG LADIES…it isn’t worth it. The deception from the enemy comes in all shapes and sizes but his ultimate goal is to steal kill and destroy you and your relationship with God. He doesn’t care how long he has to wait for your destruction. When the Lord put His laws down for us to follow…they were not mere suggestions…they are commands because our Father is wiser than the enemy. He has an amazing destiny for you and all we have to do is cling to His commands and wait patiently on HIS perfect PRINCE CHARMING. Thankfully, I have that now…but oh the pain I had to endure to get here. God wants His plan for you but He allows us to make choices…we can choose life or death…HIS plan vs. OUR plan

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