Comments on: Fears That Keep Women And Men Single

By: Ben

Ben — Thu, 08 May 2008 22:02:47 +0000

I’m new here but I would definitely agree with Mickey that women blame men for all the bad things they experience. I suspect this enables them to play the victim and cry about how persecuted they are. I don’t worry at all about the drop in marriage and birth rates and highly doubt there’s such a thing as a christian date.

By: H, Mickey Gill

H, Mickey Gill — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 04:38:40 +0000

It seems to me that the sexes are so polarized in this day and age, and that male bashing has replaced baseball as the national pastime. It seems now that anytime a man wants to seek female companionship:

1) He gets laughed at.
2) He gets cursed at.
3) He gets sued for sexual harassment.
4) He’s automatically branded as an oppressor and sexual predator.
5) All of the above.

The end result appears to be that, on average, women tend to think of men as worthless at best, and horrible as usual.

With all the man hating vitriol that’s out there, I’ve long since given up hope that there’s a special someone out there.

It might not be good for man to be alone, but it appears to be the lesser of two evils in light of the anti male atmosphere that’s out there.

By: roger

roger — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 05:43:54 +0000

What does a male do who is hiv positive,who has come out of the homosexual lifestyle,and yet knows in his heart it is not good for man too be alone,and yet fears,the prospect of going through even beginning too share with a lady all that! where does one begin? And not have too go back were he came from!
Roger

By: Tia

Tia — Wed, 25 Jul 2007 10:50:40 +0000

To answer Mickey’s question: God is bothered if you are bothered. Psalm 138:8 tells us that He will perfect that which concerns us. Let us stop believing that God “has better things/more important things to think about” how can this be right when David had to ask “what is man that you are so concerned about him” in Psalm 8 (paraphrased)? God cares and wants to be concerned about every minute aspect of your life. He is keen to see your dreams and desires come to pass which is why His word says: “Hope deferred makes the heart sick” Proverbs 13:12 and that “He will give you the secret desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4 Marriage is of God and whereas yes I do think that some are called to a life of singleness they are few and there are some who choose to stay single for the sake of the Gospel and again they are few but God will respect that decision and I personally don’t believe you can decide to do that if God didn’t give you the strength and grace to do it anyway. I think a lot of problems that we are seeing in society (I live in the UK) are because of people’s singleness. People do as they wish because they are not accountable to anyone, children suffer because there is no family unit. God ordained marriage as the bedrock of society and so yes I do think that people’s singleness is something He is concerned about, single people are suffering crippling loneliness and being tempted sore because they don’t have their marriage partners in the Church so yes I think God is not pleased with this. It is hard to serve God when your heart is weighed down by loneliness and I think more ministers of the Gospel need to drop this “singless = holiness” act and get with the programme. Why should I serve God single and alone? Why can’t I be with someone? GOD saw Adam was alone, Adam never mentioned it so surely it means something to God? Marriage is not a one size fits all cure but I have the right to be with someone I love and who loves me…I mean dang even Christ has a wife (Ephesians 5:23)! As an aside…I don’t believe God worries about things though because He is God and if He worries it means He doesn’t have an answer and if He doesn’t have an answer we are all screwed!

By: H, Mickey Gill

H, Mickey Gill — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 04:35:56 +0000

Hi David.

Thanks for the quick response. Here’s another question: with all that’s going on in the world, does God really worry all that much about whether or not someone stays single for life?

Regards,
Mickey

By: David Butler

David Butler — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 21:23:34 +0000

Mickey:

As a person who works in Family Court, I understand your fear feelings. But remember, if God be for you, who can be against you? If He is the center of a relationship, there is a much greater chance of success. Hang in there guys…and girls.

David

By: H, Mickey Gill

H, Mickey Gill — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 04:55:44 +0000

That’s all well and good, I suppose. But, as Scripture says, it’s not good for man to be alone. But is it also good for a man to pay alimony through the nose, get kicked out of his house and not be allowed to see his kids? Is this the lesser of the evils. Somehow, I’m just not convinced that the risk is worth the reward.

By: Paul

Paul — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 12:39:53 +0000

Hey…it was really educational reading facts about fear, indeed i do have a feeling that most (if not all) couples before finally settling, face this challenge (from either of one them). I would really love to hear from married couples what practical steps they took to bypass this impediment.

By: David Butler

David Butler — Sun, 01 Apr 2007 02:53:44 +0000

Marc…Thanks for the insightful post..

By: Marc Stevens

Marc Stevens — Thu, 29 Mar 2007 15:15:21 +0000

In these days of members the ‘pick and choose’ Christian with their values not much different from the rest of the world, I would suggest ‘fears’ of deceiption by someone or ‘temptation.’ That first in-person meeting leaves a lot of impressions, if she looks and acts like some seen on “Blind Date” or “Elimindate.” I find an old piece of advice to still be important: ‘If you want to sell (soft drinks, fruit juice, coffee, etc;) don’t advertise hard liquors.’ Author Elizabeth Elliot in her book ‘Passion and Purity’ still has some excellent ideas even if they’re from her 50-years ago courting with her missionary husband Jim. Thanks for your helpful website.

By: David Butler

David Butler — Thu, 07 Dec 2006 00:57:32 +0000

Thank You, Ina, for the encouraging words. You may use this Christian singles article. Please keep in touch

By: Ina McLemore

Ina McLemore — Tue, 31 Oct 2006 15:37:27 +0000

Excellent article and encouraging thoughts on the subject of fear with dating! These principles can also be applied in other areas of our Christian lives.
With your permission, I would like to post this article on our Singles church web site. It would be a great service to those struggling with such fear.
Thank you for the work well done!
Ina McLemore