如何成为一个明智的爱情傻瓜«基督教约会服务的普乐士

How to Be a Sensible Fool in Love如何成为一个明智的爱情傻瓜

为了爱情傻瓜

Love is patient.爱是耐心。 Love is kind.爱是实物。 Love means never having to say you’re sorry unless you don’t heed the advice you are about to read.爱意味着永远不必说你很抱歉，除非你不听从你的意见是关于阅读。 My friend我的朋友 David runs this site大卫本网站运行 and I asked him if I could pen (who pens anymore in the age of computers?) an article for his readers.我问他能不能让我笔（钢笔了谁时代的电脑？）一篇文章的读者。

In my professional life in the court system, I have observed these 10 truisms many times over the years.在我的职业生涯中的法院系统，我观察这10个truisms多次多年来。 This advice seems like things everyone should know, but sometimes you need to hear it again.这方面的咨询好像事情大家应该知道，但有时你需要听到一遍。 All of the following apply to men as well as women:下列所有适用于男女：

If your relationship began as the result of an affair, you need to ask yourself why would my significant other not then如果您的关系开始由于外遇，你需要问问自己，为什么要我不重大其他然后 cheat作弊 on ME sometime in the future?我有时在未来？ You should not expect to make a life with someone who did not take their你不应该期望，使生活与某人谁没有考虑其 marriage vows结婚誓言 or或 commitment to a relationship承诺的关系 seriously.认真对待。 A tiger doesn’t change its stripes people!一只老虎不改变其条纹的人！
If your significant other has a child from another relationship that they do not see,如果您有显着其他孩子从另一个关系，他们没有看到， investigate the situation thoroughly before committing调查情况之前彻底 to a relationship with them.一个与他们的关系。 If the other parent is withholding the child, it is probably for a good reason that you have not yet experienced.如果其他家长是孩子扣压，它可能是一个很好的理由，你还没有经验。
Having children will never save a marriage or improve a relationship.有孩子将永远保存结婚或改善关系。 You should bring children into the world because you want them, have a happy home, and are willing to put their needs ahead of your own.您应该使儿童融入世界，因为你想他们有一个快乐的家庭，并愿意把他们的未来需要您自己的。 To bring them into a dysfunctional situation so you won’t be为了使它们成为一个功能失调的情况，使你不会 lonely孤独的 is cruel.是残酷的。 If you don’t want to be lonely, get a puppy!如果你不想成为孤独的，获得的小狗！
Not everyone is meant to be a parent or has the ability to be a parent.不是每个人都意味着是一个父母或有能力成为一个母公司。 There is no shame in not having children.没有羞耻，不生孩子。 You may be scarred from a bad childhood yourself, have您可能会伤痕累累从一个坏自己的童年，有 addiction issues成瘾问题 , or may be getting pressured into it. ，或可能得到的压力了。 Society should not dictate perhaps the most important decision in your life.社会不应该要求也许是最重要的决定，你的生活。
If you know you are in a bad relationship and already have one child with your significant other, you might want to take steps so that you will not have any more.如果你知道你是一个坏的关系，而且已经有一个孩子与您的其他重大的，您可能要采取步骤，这样您将不会再有任何更多。 I have had many women tell me over the years that they knew their marriage was bad right from the beginning, yet continued to make a bad situation worse by having more children.我有许多妇女告诉我，多年来，他们知道他们的婚姻很糟糕权从一开始就没有继续作出糟糕的情况更加恶化让更多的孩子。
If you marry someone with children from another relationship, the best thing to do to make it successful is adopt the attitude that this is your biological child and treat them as such.如果你的人结婚有子女从另一个关系，最好的办法，使其成功是采取的态度，这是您的生物儿童和这样对待他们。 If you are marrying their parent, you are marrying them!如果您是他们的父母结婚，你结婚了！ Always be mindful that they have a mother or father and respect their role as much as possible.永远铭记他们的母亲或父亲和尊重他们的作用尽可能。 If the non-custodial parent does not mind you being hands on, embrace that role.如果非监禁父母并不介意你的双手，拥抱这个角色。 If they prefer to take the lead, you support the child from the sidelines; define your role early on.如果他们愿意起带头作用，您支持孩子从观望;定义您的早期作用。
The first time that第一次 someone strikes you in a dating relationship有人攻击你在约会关系 , walk away. ，步行距离。 There is NO excuse for it or apology that can be offered to make the pain of that experience go away.没有理由或道歉，可提供给带来的巨大痛苦的经验，走了。 If the person does not follow your wishes and leave you alone, seek information about whether you are eligible to obtain a restraining order.如果此人没有按照你的愿望和离开你，仅寻求资讯您是否有资格获得禁制令。
If your current beau has a restraining order against them from someone else, that should raise a red flag for you and make you seriously consider whether you want to如果您目前的情人有一个禁止令他们从别人，这应该引起了红旗为你和你认真考虑是否要 stay involved with them.继续参与他们。
If you find yourselves constantly fighting and you are only dating, what do you suppose will happen after you get married?如果您发现自己不断的战斗和您只约会，你怎么猜想后会发生你结婚了吗？ As hard as it is to be by yourself, it is better to be alone than to continue in a dysfunctional relationship.由于很难，因为它是你自己，最好是单独不是继续在功能失调的关系。 Every day that goes by that you are miserable in a bad relationship is a day you are never going to get back.日子一天天过去，您是悲惨的恶劣关系，这一天你是永远不会回来。 Additionally, it keeps you unavailable to find that special someone.此外，它使你无法找到特别的人。 Love and relationships shouldn’t have to be constantly difficult and if it is, maybe you are in it for the wrong reasons.爱和关系不应该是困难和不断如果是，也许你是为了错误的原因。
When you fight with your significant other, fight fairly当您与您的斗争重大另一方面，相当斗争 . 。 Do not curse or degrade them.不要诅咒或降低它们。 Make your point and explain how your feel.让您的点，并解释你的感觉如何。 Do not bring up past mistakes or incidents that the other person might have done wrong that have nothing to do with you or why you are arguing.不要把过去的错误行动或事件的其他人可能有错误的认为这样做没有任何与你或你为什么争论。 A thousand compliments after the fact almost never makes up for a cheap shot.一千恭维的事实后，几乎从未弥补了廉价杆。 You can never lose yourself in taking the high road!你不能失去自己走公路！