Online Christian Dating or Courtship?基督教网上约会或求爱？
Recently, a pastor friend of mine explained why he is not only against最近，一位牧师朋友对矿井解释为什么他不但违背 online Christian dating,基督教网上约会 but also the concept of dating in general.而且这个概念的约会一般。 While he did not come out and say that dating is unbiblical (there are some Christians who feel this way), he argued that it cheapens the虽然他不站出来说，约会是unbiblical （有一些基督徒，他们觉得这种方式） ，他认为该cheapens courtship process求爱过程 and encourages single Christians to enter casual relationships that are here today and gone tomorrow.并鼓励单身基督徒进入散关系是今天在这里经历的明天。
The pastor started out by rightly reminding me that dating is a relatively new phenomenon of the last hundred years or so.牧师开始由正确地提醒我说，约会是一个比较新的现象，过去一百年左右。 Before that time, singles were said to court one another.这日子来临前，单打据说法院之一。 Courtship was not a casual thing to do on a Friday night, but a serious process whereby the families of the求爱不是随便做的事，上周五晚上，而是一场严肃的过程，让家属表达最 single gal单半乳糖 and及 single guy单佬 decide whether or not marriage should be the end result.决定要或不要的婚姻应该是最终的结果。 Romance and personal choice took a back seat to practicality: Is he able to support her?浪漫的色彩和个人选择了回到座位，以实用性：是他能支持她吗？ Does she cook, sew well and love children?难道她做饭，缝好，爱孩子？ Do the families make a good fit?这样做的家庭做出一个明智的选择呢？
Overall, my friend feels the courtship system is much more advantageous than the present system of dating:总的来说，我的朋友觉得求爱系统是更为有利的，比现行制度的约会：
- Courtship will save singles from entering casual relationships where求爱将可节省单打进入散关系哪里 sexual impurity性杂质 and及 heartache can occur心痛可发生 . 。
- Since courtship is more or less supervised by the families, singles have less a chance to make wrong, harmful and impulsive decisions.自从求爱是较多或较少的监督，由家庭，单打较少有机会做出错误的，有害的和冲动的决定。
- Courtship encourages求爱鼓励 commitment承诺 to one person, which carries over into the一人，可携载到 Christian marriage relationship.基督教婚姻关系。
Dating and Courtship is Not an Either/Or Proposition约会和求爱，是不是一个非此即彼/或命题
I had several responses for my pastor friend.我有几个回应我的牧师朋友。 The first sentences came out this way: Get real!第一次服刑出来这样说：获得真正！ While the idea of an old-fashioned courtship has some virtue in it, how many尽管这种说法的一个老式的求爱有一些美德，在这，有多少 twenty-something第二十五东西 or或 thirty-something Christian singles第三十二一些基督教单打 would buy into such a system?将购买到这些系统？ How many Christian families would be willing to make a courtship covenant?有多少基督徒家庭会愿意作出求爱盟约？ A solution must be realistic if it is to be the norm.”解决办法必须面对现实，如果它要成为规范" 。
Secondly, Christian dating does not have to devolve into the其次，基督教约会没有下放进入 sex sin性别单 relationships that we see in the world.关系，我们看到在世界上。 Christian dating services基督教约会服务 fill a need that many families and churches are not meeting.填补一个需要，无数个家庭和教会都没有了会见。 So why condemn all forms of dating just because the world abuses it?那么，为什么谴责一切形式的约会的时间，刚好是因为世界虐待吗？
I have one dear friend who met her fiance though an我有一个亲爱的朋友，谁见了她的未婚夫虽然 online Christian matchmaking site.在线基督教红娘网站。 Their two year其二年 long distance dating relationship长距离恋爱关系 has been anything but casual, but a conscious process leading toward marriage.一直不妙随意的，而是一个自觉的过程，走向婚姻。 Before committing in person they had spent over six months just communicating on a heart level via e-mail.之前在人，他们花了半年以上，只是沟通上的心一级通过电子邮件。 Afterwards, they both met each other’s families, who approved of the relationship.此后，他们遭到了对方的家庭，他们核准的关系。 Each party also enlisted the help of their respective pastors and friends to help them through the engagement process.每一个党也物色到合适的帮助下各自的牧人和朋友，帮助他们通过社会参与过程。 I am happy to say that my friend is getting married this coming June (and I am singing in the wedding).我很高兴地说，我的朋友是在国内结婚，这个即将于六月（和我的歌声中的婚礼） 。 
Here we have an example of a single Christian couple who used an在这里，我们有一个例子，一个单一的基督教夫妇，他们用了一个 online Christian dating service网上基督徒约会服务 , but incorporated elements of the courtship process by seeking advice from their families and churches. ，但纳入元素的求爱过程中，寻求咨询意见，由他们的家庭和教堂。
The lesson here?教训这里吗？ Dating and Courtship does not have to be an either/or proposition for Christian singles.约会和求爱不须要是一个非此即彼/或命题基督教单打。 It’s possible to combine the best of both.它的可能结合起来，两全其美的办法。 So what are your thoughts about online Christian dating and courtship?那么什么时候是你的思考基督教网上约会和求爱？ Do you take an either/or stand on the issue?你需要一个非此即彼/或问题上的立场？
I agree with the reasoned approach of combining the best elements of Christian dating and courtship.我同意与理性的方式，把最好的内容基督徒约会和求爱。 All of the websites are so filled with paranoid rhetoric about “traps and snares” as if every single person who isn’t following strict courtship rules is an evil seducer, out to spread STD’s!所有的网站都是那么充满偏执修辞"的陷阱和圈套" ，因为如果每一个单人，是不是遵循严格的求爱规则，是邪恶的说笑话，以传播性病的！ I’ma happily married woman, and most of my past dating was a mixture of things such as church activities, “dinner and a movie”, group outings, but also time with one another’s family.我是个幸福的已婚女子，和我的大多数过去约会是一个混合的东西，如教堂活动，使"菜，并有电影" ，一批外出，而且时间与对方的家人。 Why do people have to be so dogmatic about it??为什么人家要这样武断一下吗？ Plus the judgemental attitudes: “If you don’t follow our way of courtship, then you are not a true Christian.” Hogwash!加上评判态度： "如果你不按照我们的方式求爱，那么，你是不是一个真正的基督徒" 。泔水！
I agree that some people can resist the temptation for physical contact, although the statistics at doing so are miserable.我同意有些人可以抗拒诱惑，为身体接触，虽然统计上这样做是可悲的。 World magazine published a recent survey that showed that over half or evangelical teens are having sex before they are out of high school.世界杂志发表了一份最近的调查显示，有超过半数或福音事工促进会，青少年发生性行为之前，他们就脱离了高中。 They admittedly knew it was wrong but were pulled into sin anyway.诚然，他们知道这是错的，但拉入罪恶的。
The other issue that is not discussed is that emotional purity before marriage is an important factor also.另一个问题是没有讨论的是情感婚姻之前纯洁，是一个重要的因素还。 Christ’s standard in the new covenant goes beyond the actions of a person to the heart of the person.基督的标准，在新的公约超越了行动的一个人的心脏的人。 If you are becoming emotionally or romantically involved with the opposite sex before marriage you are giving feelings to someone and taking from someone what is rightfully reserved for their spouse (whomever that may be).如果你正变得激动或浪漫地涉及与异性结婚前你其实是感情来有人走，有人从什么是理所当然地保留给其配偶（何人可） 。 Don’t defraud someone’s future spouse of their emotional purity.不串谋诈骗某人的未来的配偶，他们的情绪纯洁性。