Rejection Hotline: Dating Advice for the Dumped
Rejection hotlines often offer this bit of dating advice that we all already know: Rejection is one of the hardest things to deal with as a single person.
Getting rejected in connection with dating is absolutely the worst kind of rejection because it touches us on such a personal level. It doesn’t matter whether the rejection occurs while asking someone out on an initial date, or in the middle of a long term relationship. Rejection hurts. Period.
In fact, the “after effects” of being rejected, dumped or dissed (take your pick) by the opposite sex can linger around for years. I can still recall that lost, empty feeling I had as a teenager after my first girlfriend pushed the rejection button on our dating relationship of one week. I didn’t even get a rejection letter. Sigh.
Rejection Hotline Tips on Handling the Pain of Being Rejected
If you are a single Christian who has suffered rejection in your dating life, and has experienced accompanying depression and loneliness, be encouraged by considering the following:
Know That God Is Working It All For Your Good
You know, I hate it when people quote Bibles verses to me when I am going through a painful moment. Just shut up and be with me if you wish, but don’t get preachy until I have time to process.
Anyway, I suppose most of you already know this wonderful promise from Romans 8:28. If we love God, He really will work everything (even rejection) for our good, even if it doesn’t feel possible at the time.
By way of example, I can share stories of singles who were heartbroken because their girlfriends or boyfriends broke up with them. However, months later they were thanking God for having been rejected because had that not happened, they never would have met their present soulmates. It’s really amazing how your Lord works, so just hang in there, okay?
Understand That Everyone Experiences Rejection.
Rejection is not something just poor little you has to suffer. The rejection bug infects all of us from time to time. That’s just the way it is. If you have read the news recently, you’ll see that even outwardly beautiful and famous people like Christine Brinkley and Jennifer Aniston suffer rejection. Even our dear Saviour, Jesus, suffered rejection by others (Isaiah 53:3).
Learn From The Experience
None of us like to experience rejection. But when it does come, we should take the opportunity to take stock of what has just occured. You may never know all the whys, but let the following rejection hotline questions guide your own soul searching process:
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Will I allow rejection to make me a bitter person or will I look for the positives in my experience to build on in the future?
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Do I need to make any changes in my life physically, emotionally or spiritually?
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Can I forgive the person who rejected me?
Know Where Your Self Worth Comes From
It doesn’t matter what others think of you. What a trap to base your self-esteem on that! It doesn’t even matter what you think of yourself. The real issue is that our true worth comes from what God thinks about you. The true fact is He loved you enough to die for you, and considers you very valuable (Luke 12:7).
Are you a single person who has something to share about rejection?
Being rejected doesn’t bother me. I am a christian. I have God. What else do I need? Nothing and nobody. I have God. If God doesn’t think it is right for me, he will lead me in the right direction. That is how you all should feel if anyone reading this has gone through that. Hope it helps. I am on Yahoo IM if you need to talk… ANYBODY. kristiusaf07@yahoo.com
Also on Myspace: www.myspace.com/kristiscoville
Kristi:
What a wonderful attitude on rejection, and you are absolutely right! Kristi, we are praying for you..By the way, feel free to write an article on rejection so others can be encouraged…
David
It’s too bad NOT everyone is at the same point you are at. I agree you don’t need anyone else but it doesn’t hurt to have friends.
Being rejected is very painful and depressing for me.I am an older Christian divorced man, and have been getting rejected for the last 11 years. The pain never leaves, and as I see friends get their lives restored by finding mates, the pain deepens. It feels like God has shut the door on my life. I have asked Him to fill the deep “void” in my life, but nothing happens. I’ve been to two Christian counselors,and they say I just need to date, and find someone,but all I get is rejection. I don’t know what else to do at this point. Someone please help…..
Rejection does come from all sources, teenage kids are good teachers. Whether an x,or a date, I go back to my identity in Christ. Romans 6 !1-14, It is more important to understand what He thinks about us and who we are rather than what others think. I have found a great web site on the exchanged life, We are new creations. exchangedlife.org. Two great books which have helped me. ” The Marvelous Exchange” by Flatten, and the “Rest of the Gospel” by Stone.
Feel free to contact me if you have any questions or comments.
Bruce, am an older christian mother divorced with 3 kids and after 7 years of rejection I met a wonderful guy at church and we had a godly relatonship for 1 year. its over now and am hurting that’s how I found this site. trying to heal. But don’t give up hpe. God knows you and he knows that he hasn’t found the girl worthy of you yet. He will find her and you will be happy again. Even in my tears I know he will. Take heart and don’t give up. vomukuba@gmail
OMG MY BF JUST GOT REJECTED AND DUMPED ME! IM SO SAD I NEED HELP…
I have read what you said, Bruce. I am very sad to hear about being you being rejected and dumped in your dating relationship.
Maybe God is teaching you something? Maybe He wants you to recommit to him wholeheartedly and Love him with all your heart, soul and strength?
He wants you to Love him first, because he has been waiting eagerly to give you a Godly partner that he has designed for you?
Maybe you need to recommit?
Please dont quote me here.. I’m guessing this might be the case..
you can do it, Bruce
Yes, I have suffered rejection, but thank you all for your encouragement and admonitions. I have now wholeheartedly (that’s the key) recommitted my total life to Christ. I have been overwhelmed with joy and peace,…something I have not had for years. I now trust God for a mate, and even if I get rejected and don’t get one, I still have peace in Christ. I thought I could never arrive at this point! A miracle!! God Bless you Dave,Velichka, and Henry. I have learned that when painful circumstances are out of my control like in rejection….He is in control, and I can give ALL the baggage to Him!!
I need a Rejection Hotline-My husband began showing his true self being verbally and emotionally abusive a month into our marriage. After just 3 years he’s rejected me and has filed for divorce. I have suffered rejection. I’m heartbroken at his choices but respect God’s given us all a free-will choice. The good news is Jesus’ love and truth offers us restoration and healing. Many turn away when we allow Jesus’ light to shine brightly from within our hearts. They reject us and run away as the light of Christ holds us accountable for our sins. We are all sinners saved by grace but we can only be accountable for and change ourselves. I’ve come to understand God needs to be in total control of every aspect of my life for me to be fruitful and healed. My value is not found in being loved by others but in loving others as Jesus did. In forgiving and letting go of dreams, promises and vows which were broken not with bitterness but forgiveness. I hold fast to God’s awesome promise He will never leave me or forsake me. I pray you find God’s perfect peace in holding onto the fact He created you, adores you and wants the best for your life. God’s timing is not ours but is always perfect. Although you faced rejection, remember you are a priceless treasure and are deeply loved!