Single Parents Dating and their Kids单亲家长年龄，而他们的孩子
In Parent Education classes, single parents dating or those looking into a Christian在家长教育课程，单亲家长约会或那些希望成为一个基督徒 matchmaking dating service婚介约会服务 routinely ask this question: “When can I introduce my children to the person I am dating?”经常问这个问题： “当我可以介绍我的孩子的人，我约会？ ”
In a previous article, we discussed在先前的文章中，我们讨论 how difficult it is being a Christian Single Parent.是多么困难的一个基督教单亲。 But it doesn’t matter whether the single parents dating are Christian singles or unbelievers, the issues are still the same.但是，不管单亲家长约会是基督教单打或不信教的问题仍然是相同的。 All single parents, custodial or non-custodial, need to take special care when brooching the subject of dating with their kids.所有的单亲家庭，保管或非拘禁，需要特别照顾时， brooching主题的约会与他们的孩子。
Before a dating single parent even thinks about introducing someone new into their child’s life, they should understand where the child is emotionally during this time.约会前单亲甚至认为，有人对新引进到孩子的生命，他们应了解孩子的感情在这段时间。
Depending on the different circumstances that each single parent’s kids have gone through, their reaction to the single parent dating may take on one of several forms.根据不同的情况下，每一个单亲家庭的孩子都经历了，他们的反应，单亲约会可能采取的若干形式之一， 。
- They may be fearful of losing the single parent.他们也许是害怕失去单亲家庭。 This is especially true in cases where the other parent has died or abandoned the family.这是尤其如此情况下，另一方已经死亡或遗弃家庭。 The thinking here goes along these lines: “I lost my dad.这里的思考不用沿着这些路线： “我失去了父亲。 Is my mom next?”是我妈妈呢？ “
- They may be overly possessive and jealous of the single parent’s love, not wanting to share mom and/or dad with anyone else.他们也许是过于占有和嫉妒的单亲家庭的爱，不想分享妈妈和/或爸爸与任何其他人。 It’s not uncommon under these circumstances for the child (usually a teenager) to act out against the single dating parent and their partner, which can cause major problems for any relationship.这并不是什么稀罕事在这种情况下，为儿童（通常是十几岁）采取行动，反对单一的约会母公司和其合作伙伴，这可能导致重大问题的任何关系。
- They may not trust any outsiders.他们可能不相信任何外人。 This occurs in cases where the non-custodial single parent or ex-lover may have abused or neglected the child.出现这种情况的情况下，非监禁单亲或前情人可能有受虐待或被忽视的儿童。
- They may secretly be hoping “mommy and daddy” will get back together again, and will act out ways to accomplish this.他们也许秘密地希望“妈妈和爸爸”会重新结合在一起，将采取办法做到这一点。
- They may be grossed out or upset by their single parent dating mom or dad expressing romantic feelings for someone other than the other parent.他们也许是票房或打乱他们的约会单亲妈妈或爸爸的感情表达浪漫的人以外的其他家长。
Single parents thinking about dating should take care because their children almost certainly will experience one or more of the above issues.单亲父母思考约会应注意，因为他们的孩子几乎肯定会经历一个或一个以上的上述问题。 Before a single parent introduces another person, there are several practical steps he or she can take to help the child and their dating relationship at the same time.在单亲介绍了另一个人，还有一些实际步骤，他或她可以帮助儿童和他们的约会关系，在同一时间。
The first thing to do if you are a single parent not dating is to not rush into a “rebound relationship” in order to fill the void in your own life.要做的第一件事如果你是一个单亲家庭没有约会是不急于成为“反弹的关系” ，以填补空白，你自己的生活。 The honest truth is you’re not ready for it, and neither are your children.诚实的事实是你不为它作好了准备，而且也不是你的孩子。
Parenting experts suggest at least a one year’s wait between relationships.教育专家建议至少一年的等待之间的关系。 Why do they suggest this?为什么他们建议呢？ How often do we see single parents dating go from one dysfunctional relationship to the next without ever learning from the past?多久，我们看到单身父母去约会从一个功能失调的关系，未来没有以往的学习从过去的？ And how about the children who get more confused as they experience loss after loss?以及如何对孩子谁获得更多的困惑，他们的经验损失后的损失？
Instead, use this “singleness time” as an opportunity to heal, learn and grow as a single parent.相反，利用这个“独身时间”为契机，愈合，学习和成长作为一个单亲家庭。 Minister to your children, and let God and His people minister to you.部长你的孩子，让上帝和他的人民部长给你。 Find a Christian singles group where your heart can find peace and acceptance.找到一个基督教单打组你的心在那里能找到和平与接受。 God has not forsaken or left you (Hebrews 13:5), and will lead you into a relationship when you are ready.上帝并没有抛弃或离开你（希伯来书十三点05分） ，并会导致你成为一个关系当你已经准备就绪。 
Secondly, single parents dating should keep lines of communication wide open between themselves and their children.其次，单亲家庭datingÂ应保持通信线路之间敞开自己和自己的孩子。 Find out what the kids are thinking or fearing and honestly discuss it with them.了解孩子的想法或担心和诚实地讨论他们。 If they just hate the idea of mom or dad dating, don’t force it on them.如果他们只是仇恨的想法或爸爸妈妈约会，不要迫使他们。 Allow them to express themselves, as you practice patience and compassion with your kids.使他们能够表达自己，因为你实践的耐心和同情心与您的孩子。 A few sessions with a respected有几个会议，尊重 Christian counselor基督教辅导 or experienced minister may also help.或有经验的部长也可以帮助。
Thirdly, the single parent already in a dating relationship should discuss these issues with the person they are seeing, and make a plan on when, where and how they would introduce them to the children.第三，单亲家庭已经在约会关系应该讨论这些问题的人，他们看到，并计划于何时，何地以及如何将他们介绍给孩子。 Of course, if you are a Christian I am assuming your dating relationship is not based on casual sex, but is in fact a steady relationship with a committed believer, looking toward the possibility of marriage.当然，如果你是一个基督徒，我假设你约会的关系不是基于休闲性，但实际上是一种稳定的关系，以致力于信徒，面向的可能性婚姻。 Isn’t that the reason you are dating in the first place?难道这不是你的原因是约会摆在首位？ It’s interesting that both secular and Christian parenting experts suggest that single parents dating should think twice before introducing their children to people they are casually dating.有趣的是世俗和基督教养育专家建议，单亲家长约会要三思介绍他们的子女的人，他们是偶然约会。
If the single parent dating partner reacts selfishly or simply cannot understand the children’s issues, I would pray about cutting losses and ending the relationship, since this would be just the beginning of problems.如果单亲约会的反应自私的合作伙伴，或根本无法了解儿童的问题，我会祈祷削减和结束损失的关系，因为这将是刚刚开始的问题。
Finally, when the single parent dating does decide to introduce their partner to the children, parenting experts suggest it be with little fanfare.最后，当单亲约会并决定将介绍他们的合作伙伴，孩子，父母专家建议是没有大吹大擂。 In other words, introduce your special friend like you would any other friend, male or female.换言之，介绍您的特殊朋友，就像您任何其他的朋友，男性或女性。 Avoid using words like love and dating, and do a fun, low stress activity.尽量避免使用类似的话爱情和约会，做一个有趣的，低应力活动。 Only after children have spent several times meeting with the other person, should the single dating parent discuss the nature of the relationship.只有在孩子们度过几次会议的其他人，应单一约会家长讨论这种关系的性质。
Perhaps you are a single parent dating, and would like to share your dating tips with other single parents?也许你是一个单亲约会，并愿分享您的约会技巧与其他单亲家长？ Feel free to submit them随时提交 here.这里。
Note: 请注意： David Butler 戴维巴特勒 , the author of this article, teaches Parent Education classes for the state of New Jersey, USA. ，作者的规定，教家长教育班的新泽西州，美国。
When my “friend” and I started dating, we would “accidentally bump into: each other when we BOTH had our kids w.当我的“朋友” ，我开始约会，我们将“不小心碰到：对方当我们都有我们的孩子瓦特 us, at Child-friendly places (like the playground, park, the zoo, etc.) and we “became friends” each time.我们，在儿童友好的场所（如游乐场，公园，动物园等）和我们“成了朋友”每次。 It has been over 6 months, and we still refer to each other as a “new friend” and NEVER as boyfriend or girlfriend.它已超过6个月内，我们仍然是指对方为一个“新朋友” ，从不为男朋友或女朋友。 Each time we are together with the KIDS, we ALWAYS plan child-friendly activities & ALL the focus is ALWAYS on the KIDS and their enjoyment.每一次，我们同童装，我们始终计划儿童友好活动和所有的重点始终是对孩子和他们的享受。 We do not even hold hands around them.我们甚至不举行手中他们周围。 Eventually we will start to show a small amount of affection, but only when it is the “right” time!最终，我们将开始出现了少量的感情，但只有当它是“正确”的时间！
Great post..Nicole..大后妮可.. ..
Hi nicole, you got the same situation like me before.您好妮可，你有同样的情况之前，像我这样的。 as you know, as a single parent, we always pay more attention on our kids and work since we should work hard and earn the money.如你所知，作为一个单亲家庭，我们总是更多地关注我们的孩子和工作，因为我们应该努力工作，挣钱。 It’s not very convenience for us to dating but if we got the right one to hang out, i guest we should let the kids to be frineds firstly, some single parents on singleparentdate.com has do it like this.这不是很方便，我们约会，但如果我们获得正确的一挂出，我住客我们应该让孩子们将frineds首先，一些单亲家庭的singleparentdate.com已经做到这样。 Let’s be friends first and to show affection to each other.让我们首先是朋友，并显示出感情彼此。