Rebound Relationships Dating Advice

What exactly is a rebound relationship or dating on the rebound? It’s an intense dating relationship that begins very soon after a long-term relationship goes south. As one experienced single person described it: “A rebound relationship is kinda like jumping from one moving train to another. There’s no time for thinking about what you are about to do. Rebound dating is both exciting and dangerous at the same time.” Now that sounds intense!

The fact is, rebound relationships get bad marks from most single women and men who have tried them. The reason is that instead of being that perfect medicine for mending a broken heart, most rebound relationships fail, and consequently cause more pain for both dating partners.

If you are in a rebound dating relationship now, or just thinking about entering one, consider the following dating advice tips in order to protect yourself:

Rebound Relationship Advice for Those Dating on the Rebound

Rebound Relationships Tip 1: Only Fools Rush In

Ending one relationship and rebounding immediately into the next one, is not healthy for you, or fair to the other person. The reason for this is that you need time to grieve and heal before truly being emotionally ready for a new person.

While it’s natural to feel vulnerable and needy immediately after a breakup or divorce, fight the temptation to rebound so quickly into a new dating situation. It may dull your pain, but slow your healing.

Instead, take this time to evaluate what went wrong in the previous relationship, and think about how you can improve yourself for the next.

Rebound Relationships Tip 2: Get Counsel and Accountability

Before taking the plunge into a rebound relationship, get wise counsel from people who know and love you, and who can keep you accountable to making sound judgements.

Unfortunately, people involved in rebound relationships often seek a “quick fix” for their pain and damaged self-esteem. This leaves the rebound dater open for sexual and emotional manipulation by unsavory types who actually prey on the broken hearted.

Another problem with dating on the rebound is that people who do this tend to seek out the same type of person in the previous relationship, which predictably ends with the same results. That’s why it’s important to have several people who can help keep you centered during your healing process.

Rebound Relationship Advice for the Person Dating the Rebounder

Know the Odds

If you’re looking for a long-term commitment, dating in a rebound relationship is definitely not the thing to do. We counsel against entering a dating relationship with someone you know who:

• Has been out of their previous relationship less than a year
• Has shown by their words and behavior that they are not over their previous relationship

If you are dating a rebounder as decribed above, the chances are great that you a just a “transitory” person. Once the rebounder in the rebound relationship emotionally heals, they usually end up leaving the other person.

Don’t Let your Guard Down

This is usually not good advice, especially if you are attempting to build an emotionally intimate friendship. However, for your own protection, take it very slow with the rebounder, honestly explaining to him or her that you do not want to be a rebound relationship statistic.

This will take lots of self-control because rebound daters are very needy people who will attempt to fill the void, and blunt the pain in their lives by getting real close, real soon. Don’t take the bait, and save yourself much pain.

If you are a single person, feel free to share your experiences with rebound relationships.

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Rejection Hotline: Dating Advice for the Dumped

Rejection hotlines often offer this bit of dating advice that we all already know: Rejection is one of the hardest things to deal with as a single person.

Getting rejected in connection with dating is absolutely the worst kind of rejection because it touches us on such a personal level. It doesn’t matter whether the rejection occurs while asking someone out on an initial date, or in the middle of a long term relationship. Rejection hurts. Period.

In fact, the “after effects” of being rejected, dumped or dissed (take your pick) by the opposite sex can linger around for years. I can still recall that lost, empty feeling I had as a teenager after my first girlfriend pushed the rejection button on our dating relationship of one week. I didn’t even get a rejection letter. Sigh.

Rejection Hotline Tips on Handling the Pain of Being Rejected

If you are a single Christian who has suffered rejection in your dating life, and has experienced accompanying depression and loneliness, be encouraged by considering the following:

Know That God Is Working It All For Your Good

You know, I hate it when people quote Bibles verses to me when I am going through a painful moment. Just shut up and be with me if you wish, but don’t get preachy until I have time to process.

Anyway, I suppose most of you already know this wonderful promise from Romans 8:28. If we love God, He really will work everything (even rejection) for our good, even if it doesn’t feel possible at the time.

By way of example, I can share stories of singles who were heartbroken because their girlfriends or boyfriends broke up with them. However, months later they were thanking God for having been rejected because had that not happened, they never would have met their present soulmates. It’s really amazing how your Lord works, so just hang in there, okay?

Understand That Everyone Experiences Rejection.

Rejection is not something just poor little you has to suffer. The rejection bug infects all of us from time to time. That’s just the way it is. If you have read the news recently, you’ll see that even outwardly beautiful and famous people like Christine Brinkley and Jennifer Aniston suffer rejection. Even our dear Saviour, Jesus, suffered rejection by others (Isaiah 53:3).

Learn From The Experience

None of us like to experience rejection. But when it does come, we should take the opportunity to take stock of what has just occured. You may never know all the whys, but let the following rejection hotline questions guide your own soul searching process:

• Will I allow rejection to make me a bitter person or will I look for the positives in my experience to build on in the future?

• Do I need to make any changes in my life physically, emotionally or spiritually?

• Can I forgive the person who rejected me?

Know Where Your Self Worth Comes From

It doesn’t matter what others think of you. What a trap to base your self-esteem on that! It doesn’t even matter what you think of yourself. The real issue is that our true worth comes from what God thinks about you. The true fact is He loved you enough to die for you, and considers you very valuable (Luke 12:7).

Are you a single person who has something to share about rejection?

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Online Christian Dating Advice: Diversify

You’ve decided to give online Christian dating a try. Great! But unless you’re really sold on one particular online Christian dating site, the dating advice here is to diversify by using several dating services. There are several positive reasons why you would benefit by using more than one Christian dating service.

Why Try Several Christian Dating Sites?

Dating advice: You can compare sites for FREE before buying

You have nothing to lose by way of money because most online Christian dating sites offer Free trial memberships that allow you to test out their services without obligation. Taking advantage of free trials alllows you the opportunity to test drive before buying into one Christian dating site. (In fact, all the sites listed on our sidebar offer some form of free membership).

As you compare dating services, take into account such things as the cost, the number and location of Christian singles in the database and how user friendly the service is. For example, unless you’re into long distance relationships, what good is a dating service to you if the nearest potential soulmate is half way around the world?

By checking out each service, you will become educated on what makes a good online Christian dating site, and save yourself heartache and time in the long run. This also makes sense when you think about how expensive full membership costs are on some of these sites.

Dating advice: You will meet more available singles in your area

It’s really simple: The more you expand your base, the greater the chance of meeting that special mate. By putting your “eggs in one online dating service basket”, you limit the number and quality of potential matches. For example, one Christian single friend of mine got completely turned off after using eHarmony because they only matched her with one person, and he lived 3000 miles away! Take advantage of the online Christian dating sites that allow you to search the databases for singles in your area.

Dating advice: You can tweak your profile and picture layout

Two of the most important things to get right is writing your dating profile and submitting a decent picture of yourself. This is really a science and an art. If you fail in any of these areas, you will get few responses and have a poor online dating experience.

Joining up for free trial memberships at various Christian dating services allows you the ability to test out your profile and picture layout in different ways. This will allow you to determine which works best for you.

Are you a single person with online dating advice about Christian dating services? Please help other singles by sharing your online dating experiences.

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