Christian Single Moms and Dating Tips

Single moms have it rough. Christian single moms who are dating may have it even worse: Not only do they have to deal with all the responsibilities that go along with being a custodial single parent, they also have to battle the stigma of being a single mom in the church.

Whether we admit it not, more than a few women in the church look at single moms (especially if they’re hot looking) with subtle suspicion. Translation: Is this single mom aka hussie gonna steal my man?

Does the single mom receive this kind of “Christian” reception because she may be divorced? Or is it due to the possibility that she had a child out of wedlock? No one knows for sure, but this is exactly why dating for single Christian moms in the church can be one of the touchiest of issues.

The following single mom dating tips can not only help you emotionally and spiritually, but will also assist you in meeting the right soulmate for you.

5 Tips for Single Moms Before Dating

Surrender Your Dating Life to Christ

Many Christian single moms end up making horrible dating decisions because they exclude the Saviour from the equation. One single mother told me, “I would like to do this, but I’m afraid He may want me to be an old maid the rest of my life.”

Instead of doubting God’s provision, pour your heart, desires and dreams out to Him, and let him guide you in this area. He won’t let you down, mom. I promise.

Examine Your Own Heart

Before even thinking about dating again, take good long look at yourself and your situation as a single mom. Then ask yourself some difficult questions:

• Are there Biblical grounds for not entering a dating relationship?
• Do I still need some mending from a broken heart?
• Will my next relationship be a rebound relationship?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions you may want to rethink your dating aspirations at this time.

Find Your Target

Huh? As a single mom, what are you looking for in a man? After you’ve prayed and thought about it, make a written list of qualities (spiritual, emotional, physical) you look for in Christian guy. Why? Once you know what it is you are looking for as single moms, you can prepare yourself to fulfill your goals.

Keep Your Kids Safe in the Process

Most single moms make this their natural priority. How do dating single moms do this?

• When we are single parents dating with kids, it’s very important not to rush a relationship when neither you nor your children are ready. Reading all you can on this topic will help you in this area.
• Get your kids in a good Christian youth group, and join a good Christian singles group for your own support and guidance.
• Find a Christian church that preaches the Gospel, but does not make the kids or single moms feel guilty for not being in what they feel is a “normal” family.

Make a Plan

Make a plan based on your goal to meet that special man. Study where Christian singles meet other singles, and get busy. Keep all your options open along the way, and stay optimistic. The Lord is for you, not against you.

Are you a single Christian with something to share about single moms?

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Dating After Divorce
Stress Reducers for Single Parents

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40 Somethings and 50 Somethings Dating

40 something and 50 something Baby Boomers are currently using eHarmony Dating Service like almost as much as the average 20 something singles, who was the group that brought internet dating into the mainstream seven years ago.

More telling is that 40 something and 50 something daters also make up the fastest growing demographic of those seeking seeking a date online. Amazingly, with a dating service like PerfectMatch.com, nearly 65% of the singles who sign up are 30 somethings, 40 somethings or 50 somethings. All I can say is, go grandma!

Top Reason Why 40 somethings and 50 somethings Like Online Dating

There are several benefits of finding a date on the web. But the top reason Baby Boomers give for using web-based dating is that it saves them precious time. 40 something and 50 something singles are notoriously busy and impatient folk, and they want what they want, when they want it. Hey, it’s not their fault. They were the first ones to grow up with fast foods, microwaves and ATMs.

Even though 40 somethings and 50 somethings are dating more and more, Baby Boomers have unique barriers that could make being with another person quite challenging:

• 31% of 40 somethings and 50 something singles have never been married. That means they are set in their particular way of living, which makes it very difficult for them to change for another person.
• 56% percent of forty-something and fifty-something singles are divorced, which can add emotional baggage on a dating relationship.
• Single Parents Dating with kids still in the home are in a particularly difficult spot.
• Age itself, with all its attending symptoms: wrinkles, baldness, extra poundage, etc., can make singles feel undesireable.

Overall, if you are a 40 something or 50 something Christian single, this article on where and how to start meeting other singles online will cover it all.

Feel free to share your experiences a a 40 something or 50 something single.

Related Article:

Single Parent Mingle

Senior Dating Online

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Fears That Keep Women And Men Single

Paradoxically, many single women and men who yearn to get married often allow fears and phobias to keep them from that very goal. Furthermore, instead of meeting the love of their lives, they end up battling feelings of loneliness and frustration.

So just what are some of the top fears single women and men face? A survey of several hundred singles revealed the following:

Top 3 Fears of Single Women and Men

Fear of Rejection

Some single women and men are scared of reaching out to singles of the opposite sex for fear of being rejected by them.

Most singles who have this kind of fear and trepidation are gentle and sweet people. Unfortunately, they often transfer their own negative feelings about themselves onto others, thinking that the person they are interested in dating feels the same way.

Everyone is a loser with this kind of fear. The other single guy or girl the fearful person is attracted to will never know it, and the single with the fear of dating will never experience what he or she is missing.

Fear of Being Vulnerable

Closely connected to the fear of rejection, some single Christians hold their feelings so close to themeselves that others can never get to truly know them. Did you ever meet someone like that? They will only let you get so close, and then they mysteriously back away. You may have had an interest in getting to know them better, but their fear of being vulnerable precludes any possibility of a meaningful relationship.

This kind of fear keeps a single person from connecting emotionally and spiritually with others. Since the ability to be vulnerable is a necessary ingredient in successful dating or marriage relationships, the person who is afraid in this area experiences many missed opportunities or shallow and short, unsatisfying relationships.

Many Christians singles who are fearful of opening up to others on a heart level come from abusive backgrounds, such as adult children of alcoholics.

Fear of Change

Many single women and men alike remain single because they fear moving out of their comfort zones by taking faith filled risks. Singles who fear change are creatures of habit, and feel safe with the “same old” ways of meeting people to date. For example, using online dating services, even if shown to be beneficial, would be a very scary experience if they never tried one before.

We all would agree that change can be a scary experience. However, single women and men who have a fear of change naturally limit themselves in the ways they can meet a mate or date.

What God Says About Fear

The Lord has an awful lot to say about fear. One of the main things that jumps out at you as you read the Scriptures is that God continually admonishes us not to fear.

For example, in a New Testament passage in Mark 5:36, Jesus encourages a father whose daughter was ill: “Don’t be fearful, just believe.” How interesting! On the one hand we have fearfulness; on the other we have belief and trust. If you really think about it, faith and fear cannot coexist. One will have to give way to the other.

Overall, if you are a single Christian woman or man struggling with fear issues that are holding you back from from meeting your soul mate, take cheer! You are definitely not alone in your fears, and there is help for you. We suggest you pray over the following suggestions:

• Talk about your fears with a reputable Christian counselor, singles group pastor or trusted friend. Oftentimes, speaking about our fears with someone else brings us back to reality and gives us hope for the future. The advice they offer could also be liberating.

• Let God’s word and Spirit soothe your heart and fears as you look up and meditate on what He says on the topic. Here are a few paraphrased verses to get you started:

Psalm 34:4: The Lord is able to deliver you from all your fears.
Isaiah 51:7: Do not fear the reproach of others or be terrified of their insults
Proverbs 29:25: Fear of men (whether they be single or not) is a snare.
Joshua 1:8: Don’t be afraid or discouraged because God is with you.
1John 4:18: God has a perfect love that casts out all fear.

Finally, if you are a single woman or man with further advice on the topic of fear and dating, please consider helping other singles by sharing your comments about fear.

Related Post:

Fear of Being Alone as a Single Christian

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