Female Commitment Phobia

Is there  really such a thing as female commitment phobia? As I teach in our single parenting seminars, commitment phobia is usually a guy problem. However, with over 49 million single women in the US alone, female commitment phobia is rising sharply. Why is this? There are many fears that keep women single but some feel this increase in female commitment phobia is coming from those who have been through a past troubled relationship, such as a divorce. For example, many have shared with us how dating after divorce can be a very scary experience.

Do you or someone you know suffer from female commitment fears?  If you answer yes to any of the below, you just may:

Female Commitment Phobia Signs

1. Do you often date men who are unavailable?
2. Are you staying in an abusive relationship that’s going nowhere?
3. Do you have an unrealistic list of requirements for a potential soulmate?
4.Do you get panic attacks right before a date that causes you to back out?
5. Are you constantly choosing your career over dating?

The sad thing about many singles, both male and female, who are commitment phobes, is that they don’t want to be. They desire deliverance from this kind of bondage, but feel there is no way to overcome. If this is your situation, please remember that there is no hopeless cause with Jesus Christ in the picture, and many single Christians get great benefit from a certified Christian counselor trained in this area of need.

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Fear of Commitment and Men

Do you know a Christian single guy who has a fear of commitment? The following “defeating fear of commitment tips may help you cure that commitment phobe:

1. Do not rush him into a serious relationship with you. The more you push, the more he will pull away.

2. No matter how much you may love spending time with your man, plan a little away from him every now and then. Having this separation can give him time to realize how important you are. Remember that old saying, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder”.

3. Leave small reminders of yourself around his house. Do not go over board and leave so much of your stuff at his house that he start feeling like you are trying to force your way into his house without his permission.

4. If you have not heard from him all day, do not sit around waiting for him to call you. Go out and do something, this often helps guys realize that you do still have other things going on in your life.

5. Remain as aloof as possible about your future together. Men are so used to having women bombard them with questions about where their relationship is headed that they find it refreshing when you seem not to be too interested in settling down.

6. Remember to tell him every now and then how much he means to you, but make it special. Telling a man everyday that you care about him has a way of cheapening how you feel about him.

7. If you get the opportunity to meet his family, do not put yourself forward as the possible future in-law. Getting the family to like and respect you for who you are is an important step. If they think you are pushing your way into his life too soon they will become a barrier.

8. There is a delicate balance that you must learn to keep between maintaining your independence and being part of a relationship. Make sure that while you still go out and do your own thing, every now and then let him know that you also want to spend time with him.

9. Be respectful of his friends and his time with them. All boyfriends have that one friend you wish they did not hang out with, but pointing out his flaws over and over again is only going to drive a wedge between the two of you, and not him and his friend.

10. Let him do the chasing. Men value women they chase more than those that chase them.

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