What Christian Guys Need in a Wife « Christian-Dating-Service-PLUS

What Christian Guys Need in a Wife

Christian Single Couple Most Christian single guys are familiar with the proverb: “Whoever finds a wife finds a good thing.” Amen! In fact, this is a main reason why many single Christian guys seek out online Christian Dating Services. Since the beginning of time, it’s been a good deal for a single man to have a wife. Remember, in Genesis the Lord said, “It’s not good for man to be alone. I will make him a suitable helpmate.” So when the average single Christian guy starts praying for a “suitable helpmate”, what are the top 3 qualities he actually needs?

Christian Guys’ Helpmate/Wife

I know I’m going to get in trouble in some circles for saying this, but the first thing a Christian guy needs in a wife is sex. Lots of sex. Why? Without sex two people cannot become one flesh. God created sex as a wonderful form of intimate communication for procreation and pleasure. He also put an intense desire in man to want to often make love to his wife. He thinks about it frequently, and may even write songs about it (see Song of Solomon). Ladies, the man who tells you he does not have a huge interest in sex is not practicing heart level communication, or is simply not normal.

Therefore, a suitable helpmate is one that understands her man’s God- created needs, and goes out of her way to satisfy them in godly ways. First Corinthians 7:5 implies that the husband (or wife for that matter) who is satisfied in the marital bedroom is less apt to be tempted elsewhere in other sinful ways.

In my profession and ministry, I cannot tell you how many marriages I saw destroyed on account of the woman under-estimating her husband’s need for sex and/or the husband’s lack of communication on the topic.

A second thing a Christian guy needs in a wife is for her to respect him (Ephesians 5:33). For some reason (I guess we can call it ego) man has this innate need for his wife to respect him, especially in the area of his being able to provide for and protect the family. A man will feel like a total failure if he is lacking in these areas.

If a husband is going through particularly difficult straights in his career and life (ie: job loss, health issues), the wife should take special care of his feelings during this time. When a Christian guy has the respect of his wife, he is energized and can soar to heights unknown. Without respect, his passion fades and he withdraws from life.

The top third quality a Christian guy needs in a wife is for her to encourage him, facilitating a safe haven from the storms of life. From folks like Ruth Graham to Laura Bush, this cliche holds true:”Behind every great man is a great woman.” This kind of woman will not have to worry about her husband wandering because she knows how to “make her house a home” in which her kids and husband love to be (Proverbs 31).

If you are a Christian woman reading this article, you may be feeling like, “Hey, how about my needs in marriage?” Remember, the Christian husband is also called to be a helpmate, and to love his wife as Christ loved the church. By the way, in a previous article we also addressed what Christian single girls want in a man.

Okay, as a single Christian woman or man, you don’t presently have a suitable helpmate. That could be a bummer unless God has specifically gifted you for singleness. However, you can begin to prepare yourself and your future mate by taking some practical steps by faith:

Pray for your future husband or wife on a daily basis, that God would bless them, and cultivate in them just the right qualities that will complement you.
Pray for wisdom, guidance, purity and understanding as the Lord leads you in dating/courting relationships.
Thank the Lord in advance that He will provide for all your needs (Phil 4:19; Psalms 37:4).

Are you a single or married Christian with a different take on what a Christian man needs in a wife? Feel free to share your comments.

9 comments

Jen:

I am 31 Christian woman and have been looking for a nice Christian guy to date, in which hopefully the relationship will lead to marriage.

Although, every where I turn, the guys I seem to like turn out to be married every time, which then leaves me feeling like all the good ones are taken. Then I know there are single guys that seem interested in me…but they don’t ever approach me to ask me out for a date. I guess I’m a little old fashioned and think it should be the guy who should ask if they’re interested. And I guess I shouldn’t have put my career ahead of my personal life for as long as I did…because now that I’m ready to look for my soulmate…the pickings are quite slim.

Needles to say, I’m getting rather discouraged and thinking I’m doomed to single-dom for the rest of my days.

I realize that the Bridget Jones movies are “R” rated…so please don’t judge me for watching them. Yes…there are things in the movies that I could do without…mainly the language and some of the content…but if you get passed all that, one of the reasons I like the movie(s) so much is because I can relate to the character of Bridget in many ways. There is a scene when Bridget has to go to a home of married friends and everyone else there is either married or there with a date. She arrives alone and feels like the 5th wheel…so to speak. I often feel like that in social situations like, for example, the company picnic. There are a few of us single gals just sitting around trying to fit in but feeling left out as the couples all group together and talk…or the families all go off by themselves to do their own thing, leaving the single person sitting there alone to twiddle their thumbs. Yes, some of single gals talk but needless to say…it’s still a little depressing and lonely.

Then there are the statistics that say…”If you didn’t marry early, chances are you never will”. Great. Thank you so much for that wonderful piece of information. You have greatly increased my hope of ever finding my soulmate (note my sarcasm).

I’m also a little skeptical about the Internet dating game because…well…I hate to say it…and I know it’s now a growing trend…but I still have this idea in the back of my head that says if I do Internet dating, it’s like I’m acting out of desperation and it’s no better than putting an ad in the local newspaper personals. Might as well put a sign on my forehead saying, “Desperate woman in search for a husband.”

And then I heard from someone else that attended the local Christian singles group say, “Don’t go there, they’re all old divorcees or widowers.” So I’m thinking, great…I’ll be the only 31 year old woman in a room full of 50-70 year old single men. Wonderful. I’d really like to find someone closer to my own age very much thank you.

I do pray for my soulmate to come into my life and I feel that if it happens…it will just happen like everything else has in my life and I’ll never see it coming. But right now I don’t understand why I have to go thru this time of lonliness. I don’t know if the Lord has me here in this place for some purpose. I’m sure there’s a reason I can’t comprehend, and perhaps in the future all will be revealed…but getting from point A to point B is quite discouraging.

Any advice you might give me that might brighten my day?

Sorry this has gotten so long…I guess I just needed somewhere to vent my frustrations.

Thank you for “listening”.
John:

Glad to see there are sites like this to help believers in their search for their “Lid for every pot” as my mother used to put it. Wish I had known about these sites before I found my “christian” woman who fails all criteria in above article (especially sex!) Doomed to a life of “quiet desperation”. I scream inside daily- to all -take your time-be sure God’s in it or enjoy swimming in the cesspool.
David Butler:

Dear Jen-
We are definitely praying for you..In the meantime, I really suggest you read this article Christian Dating and Waiting on God. Jen, we must walk by faith, not by sight. That includes taking faith filled risks when it comes to your dating life. Please email us if you wish to sspeak further.

John:

Nothing is impossible with God. I know many couples who HAD a rotten sex life, and God turned it around. What you need to is honestly and lovingly communicate your feelings to your wife. Pray with her over the issue, seek counseling if need be. I know what you’re thinking, and that’s not an option. God bless.

David
Robert:

I am a fourty one year old
man
I watch bridget jones too

and how to lose a guy in ten days and any other movie

we are NOT UNDER THE LAW
we are free in christ

I am a man i want to marry a woman
I want to have passionate regular sex with the woman i love
i want to go grocery shopping
I want to read the bible together make a snow man
garden together

but where are the woman that want to be married
to one man
have sex with one man
LIVE for god
have a family

I am so tired of crying tired of being alone
tired of being the persistant prayer man and saying to god
PLEASE GIVE ME MY OWN WIFE

i have suffered alot in my life
and even after all that
my strongest desire is to love one woman

why cant a christian man
find a woman that wants to be loved?

Robert
Jane:

As a single Christian woman looking to meet a single Christian man I am looking for someone who will be assertive and will smile at me, say hello and show interest and make that first move. After that, I will definitely show my interest. But, guys, if you see someone you would like to meet, smile and say hello. It is really discouraging when in a roomful of people and not one guy tries to catch your eye, probably due to shyness. Maybe the Lord is waiting on us to do our part and then He will turn our watery efforts into wine.
Terri:

Jen: I really understand where you are coming from. In my situation, I’m college-educated but have developed a disability that has really isolated me from meeting people. I have OCD, but try to appear as normal as possible. Now that I’m 47, it feels like it’s pretty much over as far as meeting any potential educated marriage-minded Christian. (even though I look much younger). I do the best I can as a recovering anorexic taking one day at a time. Still, it’s very difficult seeing your siblings and peers from college with their established careers and families. You’re still young so hang in there. I feel young at heart and remember to keep dancing. Terri
DavidDT:

Jen,

When I read your long comment in what Christian single guys want in a wife, it made me crack up, NOT because I am laughing at you, but because everything you said about not feeling comfortable with the online dating services or going to singles meeting at church where older people usually attend are thoughts I have had myself. BTW, I am a single, never been married, no kids, 34 yr. old MAN. I also would like for you to know that just like you think all the ‘good men’ are taken, well, I sometimes think that all the ‘good women’ are taken too. Let me tell you something that is giving me hope and maybe it will give you hope also.

All of a sudden, I am going to three or maybe four weddings this year. Three are family members and one is a friend, who is a brother in Christ. This friend(33), I thought, was wasting wasting his time with a long distance relationship. He found someone else and all of a sudden, he asked me to be his best man. Two of my three family members are cousins, one female(33) who I was worried she wouldn’t find some one and one male(36) who I was also worried about, because his ex-fiancee broke it off a few weeks before their wedding that never happened. Both or these cousins are Christins too. The third one is younger, in her 20’s, but I do remember she was an ugly duckling who became a beautiful swan.

Check this out, I used to pray for the older cousins to find a mate, and to be honest, I stopped after a while because I ‘thought’ God maybe wanted them to be single. Next thing I know, this year, I hear the news and I was like WOW, praise GOD!
I have faith that I will also be blessed the same way!!!!
LAL:

Christian single guys: keep the faith! i’m a newly converted born-again christian… i do believe there someone out there for me and for everyone else too! how patient will you be? keep your eyes on the prize, just remember it’s not the woman or the man it’s CHRIST!
Michael Osei Akoto:

How can I meet meet a devoted
christian who wants to married
a Pastor. More to be tell later.

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