What Christian Single Girls Want in a Guy
What do Christian single girls look for in a single Christian guy when contemplating a soulmate or marriage partner? This question always seems to percolate in any singles groups I have ever attended or led. We found some online surveys about Christian single girls (ages 18-70) you may find quite interesting.
Okay guys, so you’re no babe magnet? Don’t worry about it because the good news here is that single Christian girls of all ages appear to put physical attraction behind four other qualities that you may have. If you don’t have any of these, you may want to consider becoming a eunuch. 
Top Dating Qualities Christian Girls Want
Here are the top five qualities single Christian girls look for in a Christian single guy:
- Christian single women want a guy who is passionate about his Lord. Nothing is more attractive to a single Christian girl than a guy who is in love with Jesus, and passionate about following Him. A guy sold out for Jesus lets the single Christian girl know that he is not afraid of big commitments as in, ahem…marriage. I can’t believe I just wrote the “M” word.
- Christian single girls put a high value on a guy who can honestly share feelings. She wants to be able to trust that her potential husband is a man of his word, and faithful to her. It also doesn’t hurt that he is not afraid to cry while watching sad movies. Look, most of us have been burned by fakers and liars, and it hurts big time. For some of you guys who do have a problem in this area, I suggest listening to that old Billy Joel tune, Honesty, and doing a Bible word study on the word.
- Christian single girls are attracted to a guy with a good sense of humor. Life has lots of bumps in the road, and a sense of humor will help her keep perspective on what is really important (Col. 3:1) when the going gets tough. Plus, these kind of folks are just fun to be around.
- Single Christian girls are looking for a guy who can provide a stable environment. Translation: A single woman finds a man appealing who has a steady job and loving relationships with his immediate family members. This shows the single Christian girl that the guy is dependable, consistent and able to provide for a family. This issue of provision is extremely important for a any single woman looking for a mate. Look, we’re not talking Donald Trump here, okay? As my one Christian single girlfriend says, “If he has an operating driver’s license and a job, that’s good enough for me.”
- Coming in at fifth place is the issue of physical attractiveness. Christian single girls relay that it’s important (but not most important) that they be somewhat physically attracted to the man they marry. In other words, when a single Christian girl looks upon you, she should find “something” appealing about you physically. You may not be a Brad Pitt, but you almost certainly have at least one feature that is above average in appearance.
Well, guys, there you have it. Whether you meet someone through an online Christian Dating/Matchmaking site or church singles group, what Christian single girls want in a guy remains the same.
Are you a Christian single girl or guy with a different take on the issue? Feel free to submit your dating comments.
#4
“Single Christian girls are looking for a guy who can provide a stable environment. Translation: A single woman finds a man appealing who has a steady job and loving relationships with his immediate family members. This shows the single Christian girl that the guy is dependable, consistent and able to provide for a family. This issue of provision is extremely important for a any single woman looking for a mate.”
wow. mostly i’m speechless. not to say that christian women who think this is this much of a big deal are spineless doormats, but this is the 21st century. an organized religious institution that promotes female submissiveness is to be destroyed. not that the christian church does this en masse. but there’s a vibe out there that reinforces women looking for the knight on a shiny white horse instead of stripping off her clothes and riding that godiva white horse to assert her femininity and independence.
well, not that i am condoning public nudity for all christian girls,
but come on. i’m a fan of dependable and consistent, but providing for a family? if yer choosing housewife, great. but being married to a house isn’t it for me.
#5
“Coming on in fifth place is the issue of physical attractiveness. Christian single girls relay that it’s important (but not most important) that they be somewhat physically attracted to the man they marry. In other words, when a single Christian girl looks upon you, she should find â€something†appealing about you physically. You may not be a Brad Pitt, but you almost certainly have at least one feature that is above average in appearance.”
fifth place is where a man should be “somewhat physically attracted” to the woman. first we tell women to look for a man to take care of them. then we lower women’s standards to settle for someone who doesn’t totally physically make you yearn for him while romping naked.
this advice is dangerous.
in touch,
holly
Holly
I have to say I whole heartedly agree with these 5 principles. I was married 12 years to a man who I thought put God first in his life. I found out years later than he was not sold out to God completely and was dihonest in areas of his life that eventually lead to him cheating on me and our children.
I am fortunate that I am able to provide for myself and my children and God is the center of my life. Having been unequally yoked in marriage was one of the most painful ways to live and I hope that people reading this will seriously consider the implications of compromising these values for the sake of having someone to date/marry.
Putting God’s will before everything else is key.
Holly: I understand where you are coming from that one might assume the author is suggesting Chrisitan women just look for financial security and it seems out-of-date. However, like Kerry, I also was married, divorced to an unequally yoked man. He was also dishonest and did not have many of the qualities on this list. He also cheated on his family. Having a man on fire for God is a good thing I belive. Hopefully,the person is being honest in their presentation of that and not just playing a role.
As for the financial security. I believe BOTH men and women should look for this. You never know what life may deal you… a divorce, being widowed, a disability of one spouse. Looking for someone with a decent job, responsibility, and integrity is not antiqued or behind the times. It does not mean necesssarily the man is going to be fully supporting the woman… although some couples do decide to go this route particulary when rearing younger children. I do agree a woman should be capable of and have the means to care for herself, but looking for a financial security and responsibility in a partner is a good quality and a wise thing to do.
As for physical attraction, I believe what the author is saying it’s not the first thing on the list. If it is you might have your priorities messed up in looking for a life partner. Yes, we all want the red hot attraction, but that doesn’t make a marriage work and often wanes over time. You can be attracted to people you have nothing in common with at all. But youu can still find someone attractive without the all-encompassing desire. Your attraction can grow for someone who you trust and you are in a secure relationship with. I have dated men who I don’t believe were the necessarily most atractive men, but they did something for me because of their physical qualities and the other qualities about their personality I found alluring (see the list above).
IMHO, what the author is saying is quite true although the fifth rule I think is true if you do “settle”. I am not saying that physical attraction should be the sole purpose or the number factor in seeking a spouse but it is important. It is far more important than saying “they (should) be somewhat physically attracted to the man they marry.” You should be VERY attracted to the man you want to marry!
—
Also, one very important thing is missing here and that is a man should exude confidence in himself. Not to the point of being arrogant or prideful but he should be a man who is humble and comfortable in his own skin. There are way too many men who are not and they link themselves with women who are just as insecure and as a result you have 2 “half” people trying to be “one” and it can never work unless God is there to heal and restore.
I have never been married, but desire to and I’ve come to realize that Christian people who want to be married need to spend more time figuring out who they are in Christ than on who they can grab and drag down the aisle. In doing so they would have a much better chance of having a successful marriage.
So men —pay heed to the saying to thine ownself be true—with a twist….becoming more like Christ and being bold without being brazen creates an attraction that would definitely lead to attracting a mate. Women —you need to stop looking for you answers in a man and go to THE MAN. If you desire to be married work on being a real woman of God (discover what that means), run after God, enjoy His presence and He will fulfill that desire for marriage.
—Now existing the imaginary pulpit
hi
I was a Moslem but I’m now a Christian of about 6 years.
I want to be married to a Christian girl, but I live in IRAN. Please help me. Thanks. Bye
Hi my name is Kushtrim, and I was a muslim but now I’m a Christian of about 4 years. I want to be married with a Christian girl. Im from Kosova, and I live in Kosova. Please help me and pray for me. Thank you very much. I’m 24 years old. God bless you……………..
What happens if the man I met has all the 4 values except the first? Would it be possible to get him return to God?
Dear Holly and friends…thanks for your comments. This top five list of things Christian single girls should look for in a guy was accumulated by interviewing single girls about their needs. Holly, I don’t know why the article would leave you to believe that you have to “settle” for a guy that does not appeal to you physically. We believe this it’s VERY important to be attracted to the person you plan on spending the rest of your life with. How horrible would that be!
Dear Christian Girl..I feel your pain..because I have been there. Of course, your “friend” can change and become a believe in Jesus, but you can’t count on that happening. The tough issuee, Christian Girl, comes down to whether we can hang on and trust Jesus to provide what’s best for us in the long run.
On further reflection the 1. Christian single women want a guy who is passionate about his Lord makes sense in my life.
I don’t totally agree with what has been said. I’m 29 years old totally sold out for God
I believe that everyone should first find out who they are as a people and then think about what a mate. I agree with one writer, that two often broken hearts come together trying to piece together a life. Then we will point fingers if things don’t go right.
I’m in the same boat as Christian Girl. I do realize that a college relationship will probably not be my final one (I’m picky about who I date and have only had 1 boyfriend and 1 almost-bf). I’ve been praying about it and am listening for that whisper in my ear. It’s hard to be patient and let Him lead me.
I a 24 year old Christian guy, and I don’t agree with the above. I was told this my whole laugh. I have strived to know God and be open about feelings in an appropiate and progressive manner.
I also have a stable job, no debt, and have made many sacrafices for my family. I certainly have flaws but I seem to be as a good a bet for those qualities as anyone, and to top it off I am considered attractive.
Most older women have the criteria listed above, but the truth is that most Christian Woman between 20 and 29 just want a guy that they control and support them in their career.
Hi !
I read carefully the article regarding the 5 top qualities that a man should have for a healthy relationship. In fact I agree and as more I read….i see that in some areas i need to work and improve only through by the grace of God.
Hey Donna…thank you for the message because i believe the same thing….we should be complete and find our happiness in Christ first. I learned something important…that men should be bold and sometimes taking risks.
Blessings
Ps: Hey Kushtrim, I prayed for you firstly because we are brothers in Christ and secondly, since we are patriot
Reality check for Christian Single GUYS. Women want a sensitive Christian single guy TO A POINT. Keep your mouth shut when it comes to doubts about things in your life or feelings of insecurity. Get with your pastor or some sort of trusted mentor on this. Talking to your Christian girl is like trying to make her your therapist. She is not equipped for it. She will file these shortcomings in her “OMG he is weak” POP-UP folder, and never forget. Confidence in you is a perception for your girl. Relax guys have fun, make money, trust that God will put that girl in your path. And you have to work that path, be on guard for women who Talk the nice Christian wife role , but can’t live it. i.e. If she is questioning how you plan a date and does not thank you for your efforts. Get ready to move on. Until you find your wife candidate I strongly recommend NO EXCLUSIVE DATING.
And I know you do not want to hear this but no sex, it will only lead to clouding your judgment about her. If she is great in bed you will put up with alot of bad behaviour on her part. Weak women use this as a trap, knowing this fact. STAY STRONG SINGLE CHRISTIAN MEN, CHOSE WELL WHO WE BREED WITH . WE ARE NEEDED MORE THAN EVER. Amen
Christian single girls:the list seems to me quite guessed right. For me the 3rd point must be the 2nd important one, I love the men with sense of humor. And sincere, that is very important.
Eric
You must replace sense of humor with Prayer, “Those who prayed over came” goes the saying. There are lots of good people with a sense of humor but they them self struggle inside sense of humor could be considered as an extra thing, these are not the qualities Christian single should look for. When a man or women is connected to God by Prayer , reading the word of God their life change & you know what to do in what direction to go because God’s hand is on you. The fact is when you do a survey People come up with so many suggestion such premarital sex etc.. They will say (If she is great in bed you will put up with a lot of bad behavior on her part) and most of it sounds true appealing to you flesh but at the end none of it works. The Bible is the ultimate book in Psychology it tells you about behaviorism and how to live life, it’s the source/foundation from which we derive what we say and do and in it you get the proper qualities a single Christian girls & Boys should look for when choosing a sole mate. First of all go on your knees and pray & you will not go wrong.
Eric
Noted, Thanks
Wow, I can’t believe this!!! I saw this site and found the EXACT top five things i want in a man. I’m praying for that kind of man…I hope to meet him soon…
regarding Christian single girls,I think in large part, Christian single women have no idea what they actually prioritize, and are largely informed by their culture much more than their faith community. The high value on security is a very western and largely american value to hold. The reality of God’s sovereignty never really touches on women’s sensibilities. Safety and Security are relative. If a guy is really passionate about the Lord, he is probably going to be doing work that is a) not very profitable in the eyes of the world (Galatians 1:10) b) worth being persecuted and even dying for, and certainly c) worth living in a way that favors simplicity and dependence over materiality and independence (1 Peter 4:12-13, Acts 2:32)
I’m not saying it’s wrong for a Christian to financially successful at all, but to do so in the pursuit of comfort or safety is kind of putting the cart before the horse. Job was probably the richest guy in the world, but in one horrible day he lost it all.
Do relationships between Christian men and women who attend different churches work, despite the fact that many men satisfy the requirements that Christian women desire in Christian men?
i think christian women want a man who genuinly loves Jesus, a man who is disciplined in his walk with the Lord but also not too legalistic, holy, seperated unto God balanced and humble…