Christian single women should do before tying the knot
Marriage is one of the biggest decisions you’ll ever make. In the midst of butterflies, dreams of shared cups of coffee, and that warm, fuzzy glow of romantic bliss, it’s easy to gloss over some of the finer details. As a Christian woman, you’re called to think carefully about this commitment, not just as a partnership but as a covenant with God. So, if you’re single and considering marriage, here are five wise (and hopefully a bit humorous) pieces of advice to ponder.
1. Know That You’re Marrying a Human, Not a Hero
Let’s be honest—sometimes the Christian dating world can feel like a perpetual search for “Prince Charming with a Purpose.” But here’s the thing: every single person (even the most godly man you know) is going to be human. Yes, real-life human, with quirks, flaws, and maybe even a snoring habit.
It’s easy to idolize marriage or believe it’s the ultimate “fix” for loneliness, but only God can fill that gap. Paul reminds us in 2 Corinthians 12:9 that His grace is sufficient for us. Enter marriage knowing that you’re marrying someone who needs that grace just as much as you do! Be prepared to love him as Jesus loves us—not because he’s perfect, but precisely because he isn’t.
2. Discuss Finances and Faith—They’re More Connected Than You Think
Money is a big deal in marriage, and discussing it early is crucial. Proverbs 21:5 says, “The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty.” This means thinking together about money in a practical and faithful way.
Talk openly about your financial values. Are you a saver, and he’s a spender? Does he give to charity, tithe, or want to save for that dream vacation instead? Discuss how money will fit into your spiritual life as a couple. Will you tithe together, save for mission trips, or support specific causes? Having these conversations now can save you from financial (and spiritual) headaches down the road.
3. The “In-Law Clause” — Boundaries, Respect, and Building Your Own Family Culture
When you marry, you’re not just bringing two people together but two families, two sets of traditions, and sometimes two very different Sunday lunch preferences. Establishing healthy boundaries with in-laws isn’t just wise; it’s biblical. In Genesis 2:24, it says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” This doesn’t mean abandoning your families; it means creating a new family unit with your husband.
Be clear with your fiancé about what you both value in family time, traditions, and boundaries. Maybe his family has a weekly game night, and yours enjoys quiet weekends. Work out how to honor both families without sacrificing your own sanity—or your alone time with him.
4. Practice Forgiveness Like It’s Your New Hobby
Let’s be real: you’re going to get annoyed. Sometimes over small things (Why can’t he just put the toothpaste cap back on?), and sometimes over bigger issues. Ephesians 4:32 says, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Forgiveness isn’t just a feeling; it’s an action you’ll practice every single day of your marriage.
Marriage is full of small grievances that can pile up into a mountain if we let them. The key is to forgive quickly and talk openly, remembering that both of you are a work in progress. Developing the habit of forgiveness now means you’re building a foundation of grace that will hold up under the pressures of married life.
5. Remember to Laugh—A Lot
One of the best pieces of advice you’ll hear about marriage is to remember to laugh. Life throws all kinds of things at us—unexpected expenses, miscommunications, and sometimes an absurd number of laundry loads. The Bible talks about joy over 200 times, and for a good reason. Laughter is essential for thriving together in faith, even in tough times. Ecclesiastes 3:4 reminds us that there is “a time to weep, and a time to laugh,” and marriage will give you plenty of both.
Humor in marriage is a gift that can make the daily grind so much easier. Find someone who knows how to laugh at himself, who doesn’t take everything too seriously, and who brings lightness to your life. Joy doesn’t mean ignoring the hard stuff; it means facing it together with a smile when you can. Plus, research shows couples who laugh together last longer—science is catching up to God’s wisdom, it seems!
Wrapping It Up
Marriage is one of the most profound ways you’ll experience God’s love and grace. It won’t be perfect, and it won’t always be easy, but it will be a journey that can help you grow closer to Christ if you approach it with humility, humor, and honesty. Embrace your partner’s imperfections, practice grace and forgiveness daily, and trust that God will be with you every step of the way. Enjoy this exciting season of singleness, take the time to prepare your heart, and let God guide you into a marriage that reflects His love.
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