Christian Dating and Waiting on God

Christian Dating and Waiting on God

Christian dating and waiting on God
Christian dating and waiting on God

What does the Bible say about waiting on God? More specifically, how to wait on the Lord for a husband or wife? One of the most difficult things for Christian singles interested in dating and marriage is waiting on the Lord for that special soulmate. This is especially true as we see our single friends meet their dream date, get married, and move on. Loneliness and anxiety start to creep in as we wonder when God will bless us.

Although King David did not have Christian dating in mind when he had a chat with the Lord Psalms 13, many single people waiting for a mate can certainly identify with his feelings in verse 1: ” How long O Lord? Will you forget me forever?”

Waiting on God for a spouse But Struggling

Are you a single Christian girl or guy struggling with your faith in the area of “waiting on the Lord” for a husband or wife? Be encouraged and recall that David, whom God described as a man after His own heart, also struggled. Yet, it’s interesting that during the time he wrote Psalms 13, he also penned Psalms 62:1: “My soul waits in silence for God only.” If you read the rest of Psalms 62, you’ll see David could wait upon the Lord because he had a calm, confident expectation that God would do exactly what He promised: He would meet David’s needs.

Recently, I had a single woman come up to me quite confused over the Christian dating issue. Although she wanted so much to be married to a godly man, she was torn over whether using Christian dating services meant she was no longer waiting on God for His provision.

 Waiting on God Questions

How about you? As a Christian single, are you confused about how you should approach Christian dating and waiting on God? If so, consider these questions to guide your actions and test your heart’s motives:

  • Does God’s word preclude you from taking action toward entering a dating relationship?
  • Have you done all that you could do in your particular situation? Remember, God wants us to take faith-filled risks as we ask, seek and knock (Matthew 7:7). In other words, patience and waiting on God do not equate to passivity. Many times we claim to be “waiting on God” before making a move on a matter, but God has already given permission to simultaneously take action while honoring Him as well.
  • Do your attitude and actions show that your soul is submitted to God’s will and resting on His promises? Or are you hell-bent on taking your Christian dating life into your own hands because you fear losing out on that single man or woman?

In addition to the above, have you ever tried, while waiting on God for your soulmate, praying for that person?

HOW TO PRAY While Waiting on God

In  Colossians 4:2 it states: Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful-

When waiting on the Lord, Paul gives us several prayer tips.

  • Be Devoted-The meaning of the word here (proskartereite) suggests a determination not to give in or give up until you see God move. So let me ask you a question. Have you given up praying for your dating match?
  • Be Watchful-The word here (gregoreo), implies that when we pray, we should actually expect God to give us some tangible answer. Imagine that!
  • Be Thankful-This last characteristic of prayer implies a step of faith showing thankfulness for future provisions.

Additional Steps to Take while  Waiting on God for a Mate: A Christian Approach

  1. Deepen Your Relationship with God: Use this waiting period to foster your relationship with God. Commit to regular prayer, Bible study, and worship, seeking to understand God’s will for your life.
  2. Embrace Your Singleness: Recognize that being single is not a deficiency. It’s a season of life that offers unique opportunities for personal and spiritual growth.
  3. Pray for Discernment: Ask God for wisdom and discernment in recognizing the right person. Pray for your future partner and the relationship you will have.
  4. Be Active in Your Faith Community: Engage with your church and faith community. Often, these environments foster relationships with like-minded individuals who share your values.
  5. Seek Godly Counsel: Consult with spiritual leaders, mentors, or trusted fellow believers who can provide insights and encouragement.
  6. Maintain Godly Standards: Keep your standards aligned with your Christian beliefs, remembering that a relationship should honor God.
  7. Trust God’s Timing: Have faith that God has a plan for your life, including your romantic relationships. His timing might differ from your own, but it is always perfect.

As you meander through the Christian singles dating scene, remember that waiting on God and taking proactive steps toward your dating goal need not be an either/or proposition. Just make sure as a Christian single, your heart is aligned with God’s every step of the way.

Conclusion to waiting on god in dating

For Christian singles, waiting on God for a mate is not a passive or idle endeavor. It’s an active journey of faith, where trust in God’s plan is paramount.

Through deepening their relationship with God, embracing singleness, praying for discernment, engaging with the faith community, seeking Godly counsel, maintaining Godly standards, and trusting in divine timing, Christian singles can navigate this significant life phase with confidence and grace.

It’s a path that calls for patience, understanding, and unwavering faith, knowing that God’s plan is perfect and that the right relationship will emerge in His perfect time. The process of waiting becomes a transformative experience, molding the individual’s character and preparing the heart for a partnership grounded in Christian values and love.

Are you a non-dating or dating Christian with a comment on waiting on God? Consider helping other Christians by sharing your dating thoughts.

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    • James

      Guys you’re comforting, my heart was aching and all when the topic surfaced my mind, but not anymore. God bless you in Jesus’ name.

      • Tashina

        I agree with you Mark, and, Charlene. But I don’t think God wants us to suffer. It’s seems as though I’m suffering because I have this strong desire to not be lonley, but if feels like I’m being punished for something. I often wonder, “if I want a man after God’s own heart, then why does it seem like there’s nobody out there who is after God’s own heart?” I am 23 years old and I have never worried this hard about something or someone. So if God isn’t ready to bless me with someone, then why did he make the desire so strong? Why now?!

        • Jodi

          Dear Katrina,

          It is very normal and natural to have those feelings. God is a brilliant designer and gave us the gifts of emotion, feeling and hormones as part of His plan for us. Only God can be sure if this man has been put in your path for a reason.

          The one thing I am certain of is that if you are meant to connect with him than God will find a way to help you . Even though He has a perfect plan for us, it does require some effort on our part. We cannot sit back and wait for life to happen. If you are suppose to run into him again you will, and when you do maybe smile and just say hello. It doesn’t have to be any more than that. Take the pressure off yourself of having to strike up a conversation or think of something to say that sounds funny. Our eyes and smiles are sometimes the best way to say what we are feeling.

          Then leave it in His hands. Keep praying to God for the special man that you are hoping for. The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it! (1 Thessalonians 5:24)

          God Bless,
          Jodi 🙂
          Christian Singles Blog Moderator

          • Malcolm

            I have to say my thoughts on Christian dating is alot more restricted. Taking biblical examples such as Adam and Isaac into account and even King David none of these men went out looking for a wife God provided for them at them right time when they were ready. Take Adam for example: Adam did not go to God and say Lord I am the only one here in this awesome garden without a mate … NO the Bible says God saw that it was not good for man to be alone yet God was with him every day ! Look also at Isaac the only time we here about Isaac in his case is right at the end of the story when he is walking around in a field God used Abraham’s servant to go and choose a wife for Isaac FROM HIS OWN PEOPLE ! I am 34 and single and my unbelieving and non Christian sister who is pregnant and engaged has just been ragging on my head about how she has never heard me talk about a girlfriend or someone one I am dating and that I need to get a life and get a wife ! I am busy with a project that in my heart I believe in my heart that God has asked me to do for Him and I believe that as I stay faithful to God. The Bible says God will hold no good thing from those who love Him and it also says a wife / husband is a good thing so I put my trust in Him that He will provide at the right time and I am not going to bungle it up by trying to do what only God can !

            • MEAGAN


              • katrina

                I am a single mom and have been waiting and praying for almost seven years for a christian man- I feel God has put a certain man in my path- I am very attracted to him and he seems well kempt- but we only see eachother randomly every couple months at the grocery store – our eyes lock – but then nerves take over and I get so nervous to talk to him that I cry later- what do i do? and why do I feel this is the man for me that my heart is so in love and willing to wait a million years for him….please email me someone i’m confused…

                • Yanti K

                  I just wanted to say thanks to Ian and all of you guys for strengthen me on waiting for the right person whom God provide for us. I never know about this site before but tonight, when I almost lose my faith on waiting, God brought me into this site and I been blessed. I now believe that in His way He will provide at just the perfect time, everything that good and right and to bless this life of mine.

                  God bless you all.

                  • Brittany

                    im only 18 and ive recently got out of a bad relationship. i have just found god truly a year ago, even though ive went to church all my life. For some reason I cant seem to find the right guy, im not trying to sound boastful at all, but i have a lot of men after me but most of them just want one thing and i dont know how to find a christian guy who just wants me for me. I really want a good guy that i could be with and i dont know what i am doing wrong. i feel as if there is someone out there for me, i just dont know where he is.

                    • Ian King

                      First off is the guy in the grocery store a christian guy? Like Jodi says a simple hi and a smile can show your interested and availabilty to the guy, and if he is interested back he will approach you if you are friendly enough if it is God’s will for you to be with him, God will open the doors for you and it will come to pass. You need to seek God about it, seek and you will find Matthew 7:7-8, may God Bless you and find you the right soul mate.

                      God Bless.


                      • Ian King

                        It all depends what God has told you to do, God knows best and if you have prayed to God and you believe God has lead you in one direction you do that, it is always good to be in a church, and it is always good to be around people but it does say in God’s word that if you meditate in his word day and night you will make your way prosperous and have good success (Joshua 1:8) he who trusts in the Lord will prosper (Proverbs 28:25), God can open the doors anywhere at anytime, and as long as you trust him and obey him and do what he tells you to do you can’t fail, if he tells you to just spend time with him while your waiting do it, if he tells you to go somewhere do it. Faith confessions is also very important to confess what your believing for when satan tries to come against you with doubt and unbelief which he will try to do. Spending time with God regular you hear God and he tells you of things to come and directions for your life, and you know it is from God when it applies to God’s word the bible. It is God that puts the desire in your heart for a wife, I am the same a single guy 31 spending regular time with God waiting for my future wife, God told me specific instructions to wait for the gift my father has promised (Acts 1:4) it is not for us to know the times and dates the father has set by his own authority (Acts 1:7), and he told me to spend time with him and walk in Love, and my God shall provide all my needs according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus (Phillipians 4:19), and I will live joyfully with the wife whom I love all the days of my life which he has given me under the sun (Ecclesiasties 9:9). Malcolm with your attitude of serving God and obaying him you can’t fail, God knows the right wife for you and his planning her right now for you like he is with me and even if you have to wait a little while the wait will be worth it when you have the rest of your life with her because every gift from God is permanent 🙂

                        God Bless You.


                        • Anonymous

                          I know at times we feel so lonely and so depressed over the matter for we are only flesh and blood but there is one thing we should always keep in mind God said “lo, I am with you, even to the ends of the earth” which means when we feel lonely and depressed it is the devil who is giving us those false notions. God said he will never leave us nor forsake us and there is no way that we be alone. And from my experience when such feelings come to my mind, I ask God for strength and start praising and telling him that it is only him that I can’t live without in this world, and surrender my life to him and trust him that in his time he will make all things beautiful. He knows what we need and when we need it. and as the song goes he is never earlier and never late. He is right on time. He is GOD. And remember also if we let our mind stay on the thought God will not be pleased with that. To trust means to give everything to him, he operates with out us helping him in any way. Adam was at rest when God brought him a wife, he didn’t even know that there existed a thing called a wife. May God help each and everyone of us as we rest upon him.

                          a sister in Christ

                          • Mark

                            Have you ever wanted to scream because you want things to work out and fear he and the rest of life has ran off and left you? Have you ever read so many things and listened to so many people that it felt like you were in one continuous re-run of the waiting game? Have you ever wanted to finally find that mirror-image reflection of you and to love honor and cherish him or her? If you are reading this…I’m 33 years old and a guy. Right now, I’m waiting on the door to open for a new job and searching for just “one” of God’s many loveliest creations- woman. I’ve screwed things up in the past and I’ve also done the right thing too and God saw all things. It’s great to know we don’t have to say “a single word” about what makes us tick when we talk to him.

                            • NanaAma Howard

                              just got out a painful relationship. I gave my life to Christ in June at a christian convention. I have been with the guy for four years and did bad to him.
                              Just recently we started having problems with my christian life because he wants something i could not give him and wanted him to wait until marriage.
                              He is a christian too. I have been praying for someone like him but when it was time for marriage having a dream tore us apart within seconds. i still do not understand about the dream, it lead to communication problems too.
                              Right As a 30 yr old woman i have been sick, can’t sleep.
                              How can I get someone to love me for who I am and also am scared that i will meet someone who will mess me up again. i still waiting and crying for a miracle. People point fingers at you thinking that you break the relationship. Why can’t a guy love you for who you are before thinking about sex. Instead its the other way round. its painful

                              • Jay

                                Hello to all

                                I’ve been single since 2014. Single mom of two and been struggling with relationships. Just recently, I met a guy who said that he was a christian and looking for a christian wife. Well, friends that was not the case. This guy got into a relationship with me and by the next day. He broke it off by saying that he wanted to be single for a while because he was married half his life. After that, he planned a vacation to chicago and when he returned he told me that he was getting married next June in Miami Fl and I’m invited. My heart was torn into peices. I then ask him was he serious, his response was negative as if I imagine our relationship. I had to Thank God for blocking me from getting into a serious relationship with this guy. Apparently, he was not the one for me. I’ve learned that God is not a man of confusion and he is LOVE. What this guy did was not of love and not of GOD. Today, I’m still praising God, no dating, just building up my relationship with christ until he sends me my mate.
                                I’m learning how to love myself and put God first in my life!!!
                                I hope that my testimony will help someone who is struggling being single while waiting on God.

                                • Ina

                                  Hello all
                                  I am a single mom who has waited for my soul mate forever. The longing never goes away, I struggle in so many areas, especially spending time with married couples, as I feel left out. I really dont go out actually, I spend time at home with my daughters and I go to work. I have tried the online dating thing but always ended up heartbroken. The other day I cried out to God, ‘Have you forsaken me?” And in that same breath, I felt God say, “Have you forsaken me?”
                                  I noticed for the first time I was still being that little demanding child wanting what I want and being angry for not getting it. I know I need to be focusing on God not my circumstances, delighting myself in the Lord and He will give me the desires of my heart.
                                  I really feel the enemy tries to make me think God will not give me that desire, and then tries to lie to me, saying Im not pretty enough, or worthy enough, or on fire for God enough, or whatever the list is, it goes on and on.
                                  I really felt that God has been saying to me, to not forget Him, to keep my focus on Him, that even though that might be an earthly desire, He has SOOO much more for me.

                                  Then I read my devotional for today, June 3rd,
                                  and it said, God Is LOVE, His plans for us are not for calamity, but for hope fo the future. we can view life as a senseless ruin; OR Believe the LovingHand of God will make sense of it all.
                                  Baffling circumstances canot of themselves make anything but confusion But if theres the touch of the Hand, all these things work together for God not for ill not for discord,But for Something….like harmony in music 🙂

                                  • Adam

                                    Its easy to become discouraged when it comes to waiting for Gods best i put it as a personal mission in my life not to date anyone until that one was the one i would marry my first would be my last and my last would be my first. A year ago i thought i had found the one but the one didnt like me back she told me it would never happen it crushed my heart down to my very soul i felt so depressed but in the midst of darkness i found comfort in Christ i know realize he allowed it to happen because sometimes he has to break us so he can shaper us in the way we were destined to be so that we can love him first and through that we can love that person more than anyone else. If your reading this and struggling with waiting for the one i want to encourage you to put God your first love as top priority in your life and im believing by faith that he will begin to work in your life in a way you would have never thought of it may not be the way you wanted but it will what you need. Remember God tells us LOVE IS PATIENT wait for Gods best and don’t settle for anything less

                                    • Sierra Janea

                                      Hey guys im a single Christian College student girl. Im 20 years old I’ve been waiting for marriage and still plan to save myself completely for marriage but it gets hard. Anyone my age and know how I feel??

                                      I want to wait on the one God has for me but sometimes I doubt it.

                                      • Josh S


                                        I know exactly what you mean! Im saving myself too. And there are many times where I sit and think, is it worth it to wait? Im 23, and I’m struggling with not wanting to be alone too. I keep wondering if God has a girl for me

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