Do you know the signs of lust in a man? All Christian single men battle the lust of the flesh from time to time. In fact, let’s just make that ALL guys, whether they be single men or married men, Christian or non-Christian. One single man pal of mine said if his girlfriend ever knew his thoughts, she would never stop slapping him! Listen, men struggle with lust and masturbation, and any single man who says otherwise is just lying out of fear, manipulative motives, embarrassment or a combination of the three.
The reaction of most single women reading the above about single men may vary:
- Some may feel disgusted or discouraged that all single men lust.
- Some may be thinking their single man is not like all the rest they’re dating (um…dream on)
- Some may feel so uncomfortable discussing the single men and lust topic that they prefer to ignore it by invoking the Too Much Information (TMI) rule when the subject comes up.
Unfortunately, none of the above reactions will help a single gal really understand and connect with a single man, let alone help him in any way.
Identifying the Signs of Lust
in a Christian Single Man
Lust, primarily driven by physical attraction and desire, can manifest in various ways. It often leads to an obsessive focus on physical appearance or sexual fantasies, disregarding deeper emotional or spiritual connections. Recognizing these signs is the first step in differentiating lust from love, which is rooted in mutual respect, commitment, and alignment with Christian values.
Understanding Lust from a Christian Perspective
Christian teachings emphasize the importance of purity and self-control, viewing lust as a departure from God’s plan for relationships. Scriptures such as Matthew 5:28 provide guidance on how to view and handle these feelings. Understanding the Biblical stance on lust is crucial for Christian singles striving to maintain spiritual integrity in their relationships.
The Impact of Lust on Relationships
Lust can have detrimental effects on relationships, leading to objectification and an unhealthy focus on physical gratification. This is at odds with the Christian view of relationships, which values emotional depth, spiritual growth, and mutual respect above physical desires. Recognizing the signs of lust in a man is the first step in helping the healing process.
Practical Tips to Avoid Lust
- Stay Rooted in Scripture: Regularly reading and meditating on the Bible helps reinforce Christian values and provides strength against temptation.
- Prayer and Accountability: Engaging in prayer and seeking accountability from trusted Christian friends or mentors can offer support in maintaining purity.
- Cultivate Emotional and Spiritual Connections: Focus on building relationships based on emotional and spiritual compatibility rather than physical attraction.
- Set Boundaries: Establish clear physical and emotional boundaries in relationships to avoid situations that may provoke lustful thoughts or actions.
- Invest in Personal Growth: Strengthen your personal relationship with God and invest in personal development, which can shift focus from short-term desires to long-term spiritual fulfillment.
Single Men Need Help
What Christian single men really need is an environment of open communication and compassionate counsel that will help them nip lust in the bud. The following verse needs to be in practice for single men to have a chance at conquering lust in their lives:
Bible Verse of Day
“Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Galations 6:1,2
Unfortunately, since many evangelical churches encourage a culture of denial and secrecy, many single men suffer silently and receive no help at all. Is it any wonder then, that our churches produce a sad story like Ted Haggard’s?
Hope for the Christian Single Man
Understanding and combating lust is a vital aspect of Christian singlehood. Recognizing the signs of lust and adhering to Biblical principles can guide Christian singles in fostering relationships that honor God, themselves, and their partners, leading to a more fulfilling and spiritually aligned life.
Fortunately, single men who are dedicated Christians have it way over all other single men. The first reason for this is that they have a real desire to please Jesus. The second reason for hope is that Christian single men have the Holy Spirit living in them, who also gives them the power to fulfill their godly intentions.
Are you a Christian man who has a problem with lust, but help for you is far and few between? Let’s talk about it.
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9 Comments
eugene
im a single male and have a problem with lust and masturbation and need help
Jared
Proverbs 23:7 says that “as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he..” It is important to be very careful concerning the thoughts that you allow to take place in your mind. You can’t stop some lustful thoughts, but you can make a choice not to dwell on them. You have to keep your eyes and ears from provocative music, tv, and websites. It takes effort on your part to stay away from these temptations. Understand that continually allowing yourself to be overcome with lust and masturbation can harden your heart. Hebrews 4:7 “So God set another time for entering his rest, and that time is today. God announced this through David much later in the words already quoted: Today when you hear his voice, don’t harden your hearts.” It is dangerous to keep sinning when you know what is right and just..Hebrews 6:4-6 “For it is impossible to bring back to repentance those who were once enlightened- those who have experienced the good things of heaven and shared in the Holy Spirit, who have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the power of the age to come- and who then turn away from God. It is impossible to bring such people back to repentance; by rejecting the Son of God, they themselves are nailing him to the cross again and holding him up to public shame.” Pray for strength and deny your flesh. God Bless you brother. You can overcome!
Riy
The best way for a single man to overcome lust is to get married. Apostle Paul said .. If a man contain contain himself he should marry. He said it is better to marry than to burn with lust.
mr.newell
i beleive that is the early exposer to sexual material that will become and problem in the future of an man’s life will cause him to struggle with thoughts of lusting,the long for porn and nudity.suddenly he becomes an addict and find that he has develop an hard to break habit.
Mary
why they are single? there are many woman looking for husbands here…
dra
“Riy on April 6th, 2010 6:08 pm
The best way for a single man to overcome lust is to get married. Apostle Paul said .. If a man contain contain himself he should marry. He said it is better to marry than to burn with lust.”
I have to be honest, I’m not sure Paul meant that marriage was the answer to lust in writing that. I’m not suggesting the Bible is wrong, I just know that many men, including myself, have struggled with lust as a young man and into our teenage years. We’re told by the church that if you can’t deal rightly with lust, then you should get married. So we do. And over time we find that our spouses don’t need sex as much as we do (or feel we do) and in many cases it either is ‘dirty’ to them, ‘a burden’, or something they’re just not interested in.
So then we’re forced into situation of not wanting to be selfish and ask our spouses to meet this need, but trying to understand why we’re still struggling if God said marriage is the answer. And the spiral continues…
Erika
dra, I believe what Paul is saying in that situation is that IF you have yourself under control, meaning you don’t have problems with lust, but you still want to have sexual intercourse, then you should marry. Because honestly, if you have a stronghold regarding lust, it doesn’t matter if you get married and have sex 4 times a day, the stronghold is there. Strongholds can not be quenched, it’s a fleshly thing and the flesh always wants more.
So, it makes sense to not have any problems with lust first, then get married. Ask God to deliver you and help with your problem.
If you have problems with lust and are sincerely trying, then men should get rid of any pornography, magazines, refrain from watching or listening to certain music. Close your ear and eye gates from the spirit of lust, which is an evil spirit. You have to make an effort, and God is watching to see what you do.
You have to be desperate like the woman with an issue of blood in Matthew 9. She pressed for despite the crowd in order to get to the Lord Jesus. Despite the temptations, like one man admitted to a problem with masturbation, press forward to Jesus. Get your bible and read scriptures and cry out to God from the depths of your being, with a repentant heart, one seeking understanding and he will hear you. In Psalm 51:17, King David states, “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.” You can get out some worship music and just start worshipping God.
I found out that God loves us so much that he doesn’t want us under that kind of bondage and control. He wants us to be free and he wants us to not just say we want to change, but actually put forth some effort. He’ll meet you where you are but you also have to cry out and really desire change. If you have a small baby, sometims you really don’t know if they need something or are uncomfortable until they cry. So, it’s time to get your “cry” back because God has been waiting to hear from you.
Jordan Richards
Thank you for making an article for single men! There aren’t many for us single guys, but hearing married men’s struggles can be discouraging because 1. they have their wives and 2. treating any other woman like a potential date is sinful for them, even though it isn’t necessarily sinful for a single man.
I need help. God gave me desire, but the devil is constantly tricking me or convincing me to abuse that desire.
Robin
This is something I have struggled with since my early teens. It doesn’t go away. The thoughts haunt you and creep up on you when your guard is down. What gives me hope is Jesus went through the same struggles and temptations and his answer to them was the truth of the word. He was the word in bodily form. When we are tempted we need to look to Jesus. We will fail, there is no quick fix but in our weakness Gods strength is revealed.
You said it in your message. If your heart is for Jesus and his Spirit lives in you then he will lead you out.