Christian Singles and Sexual Impurity

Christian Singles and Sexual Impurity

One of the hardest things for Christian singles is remaining sexually pure. It doesn’t matter if you are a single woman or man, or whether you believe in courtship or traditional dating.

Yes, remaining sexually pure as a single Christian is a real battle, a tug-o-war between our raging hormones and desires, and our Lord’s plan for our lives in this area: “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified, that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable.” (1Thes 4:3)

If you are a Christian single struggling with sexual impurity, you are probably doing so in one or more of these areas:

  • Pornography addiction
  • A Christian dating relationship that started off well, but has now devolved into an out-of-control sexual one
  • Habitual masturbation
  • An adulterous relationship with someone else’s mate

Christain Singles’ Sexual Sins and Isolation

More than most any other sin, sexual sins tend to be be hidden, secret sins that few close to us will know we are commiting. Also, due to the perceived embarrassing nature of sexual impurity, many Christain singles feel they have no where to turn for help with their sexual problems. Additionally, many churches lack mechanisms to deal with such issues.

Help for Christian Singles with Sexual Impurity in Their Lives

Dear single brothers and sisters, if you are feeling lost and alone in sexual impurity, and see no way out, let me make the following suggestions:

Remember how much God loves you.

Although sexual impurity may take you out of fellowship with your Heavenly Father, His love for you remains unchanged. If you are now living in sexual sin, you are one prayer away from forgiveness and complete cleansing (1John 1:9). His heart’s desire for you is complete restoration, and the rebuilding of your intimate relationship with Him.

Understand God’s perspective on sex.

Hey, I love sex, and I hope you do too. But the fact of the matter is God loves sex even more than we do. Afterall, he thought of it, right?

Most of us have heard that God is not a kill-joy when it comes to sex (See Song of Solomon). Yet as it’s inventor, He wants us to enjoy the full purpose for which he created it. It’s a wonderful and exciting expression of love within the bonds of marraige between a man and a woman. When we settle for anything less than this, we cheat ourselves.

Find a Christian singles support group for sharing and accountability.

The Scriptures tell us we should confess our faults to one another (James 5:16). Why? Sharing our sins and struggles in a safe group setting helps the healing process and causes spiritual growth.

If your church does not have such a group, do a Google search for one in your area. It’s easy.

Avoid situations which bring added temptation.

Paul told Timothy to flee youthful lusts. Only you know the situations that cause you temptation. We know that good intentions can only go so far, but with Jesus’ help you can have victory over sexual impurity in your life.

Are you a Christian single who has struggled with sexual impurity? Help other singles by sharing your thoughts and comments.

Related Posts:

Christian Single Secrets

Christian Dating Service

90 Comments

    • […] Finally, if you are a Christian who is really beating yourself up over the issue of masturbation, or are struggling with sexual impurity,  remember that Jesus offers forgiveness (1 John 1:9) you and loves you where you are. Also consider the words of James Dobson of Focus on the Family: […]

      • […] John is now depressed over his lack of sexual purity. He also knows his sex life is out of control, but doesn’t know where to turn. He afraid others will judge him, and is embarrassed to discuss his sex life with a counselor. Worst of all, John feels God can’t forgive him this sexual sin because it happens over and over again. […]

        • breanna

          i am one of those who have been in the sexual pit. i’ve always thought that i could never turn my back from it, but it’s not true. It’s God’s perfect, beautiful and faithful love that has pulled me out and restored me. i just wanna encourage those who went through the same situation, to be selfless and to reach out to those who are experiencing it. it makes a huge impact to see someone reaching out to you…let’s live a life of love…

          • David Butler Author

            Thanks for the encouraging words, Breanna! I’m sure many other Christian singles were touched by those words. I know I was.

            Living a selfless life is a tall order, but we believe Jesus’ promise that “those who lose their life for my sake shall find it”, than it’s all worth it.

            • […] Many Christian singles have problems with their health and the relationships in their lives because they have a major issue with forgiveness. For example, some singles have had such sour dating relationships with cheaters and patholigical liars that they now find it hard to grant forgiveness. Others walk around with walk around gloomy and depressed because they they can’t forgive themselves for past sex sins that God has long forgiven. […]

              • paws

                I would just like to know what should a single like me would do if for example I am a leader of one of the groups in a church and I had a sexual intercourse with my boyfriend who is also a leader, should we resign from our ministry?

                • David Butler Author

                  Dear Paws:

                  Wow, what a difficult and sad situation that is! Well, the right thing to do would first be to first go before the Lord in pray, seeking forgiveness and cleansing. Secondly, both of you should discuss the situation with church leadership, and submit to what they believe is best.

                  Remember that our Lord has not given up on you. He came into the world to save sinners like us, and can turn our “scars into stars” if we trust Him.

                  • Em

                    I feel totally caught up in all this, after being exposed to it from a young age by my father. I really struggled thru teen years and thought I was doing well til I met a guy last year. He’s also Christian but we both fall on occasions and I do alone too. I so desperately want to be free from it all but there’s no way I’d tell anyone face to face what I’m going thru. Whenever I think I’m doing ok it all comes back to haunt me again.
                    I know it’s something in my spirit that has nested there and just grown, but I dont’ know how to remove it completely. I’m aware that there will always be temptation there, but I want to have the strength to turn it down…which at the moment I don’t feel I have. Is there somewhere online I can talk to someone? Or anything in particular I can do to get out of this hole? It’s all very well saying Jesus forgives but hates the sin, etc. but that doesn’t stop me from being tempted so strongly. I’m sick of saying I’m sorry to God then going back and doing the same thing again and again. I wonder how I can ever please him!
                    I know he has a plan for my life, I just want to quit messing around so I can see it come about and love him as I should…
                    🙁

                    • David Butler Author

                      Dear EM:
                      Thanks for your honesty in sharing. Well, if misery love company…you have an awful lot of it! Most of us struggle with temptation toward sexual impurity..

                      Email us, and I will give you a referral for someone to speak to in your local area. The very thing you fear is exactly the remedy that can help you. Don’t be embarrassed.We all have issues here. If we did not we would not meed Jesus’ forgiveness, right? The best way yo overcome sexual impurity is accountability in a Christians singles group or specialized support group. Please pray about that, and we can help facilitate that for you. An in-depth heart and soul searching study of Romans 6-8 is also very helpful with sexual impurity, and helps you understand your real identity in Christ..

                      We are praying for you…and you are right…God has a wonderful plan for you…Hang in there…

                      In Jesus,

                      David
                      Romans 15:13

                      • CWC

                        Hi,

                        I’ve been reading a book titled “Every Man’s Challenge” by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker. It teaches me to starve my sexual appetites by avoiding sensual visual stimulants (e.g. sexy joggers etc). Instead, sexual desires should be directed solely to one’s spouse.

                        However, it fails to address the frustration that Christian young men like me face. I’m to keep my eyes pure, mind clean and abstain from masturbation, but receive no outlet of release for my sexual urges. Also, if I continue to avoid looking at pretty ladies, I’m doomed to celibacy. Of course, one can look at them without sexual intent. Yet, this means that the relationship between men and women will always be platonic, never romantic. After all, sexual urges are necessary for reproduction! What are your views?

                        Although I accept Paul’s support of celibacy in 1 Corinthians 7, many Christian singles view it as a curse and actually want to marry. Does a man who is determined to be sexually pure have to resign to celibacy? Please advise.

                        • David Butler Author

                          CWC-

                          Thanks for your comment on sexual impurity. My dear brother, you obviously do not have the gift of singleness. Let’s trust the Lord for a suitable helpmate for you. Additionally, the whole purpose of dating is to determine whether such a person may be suitable for marriage. In the context of this kind of dating relationship romance need not be equated with sex. Make this a time to get to know each other emotionally and spiritually, looking forward to lots of great sex in marriage. This is God’s plan..He never said it would be easy, only better and ultimately more fulfilling. As far as masturbation is concerned, we have an article on that topic on our site. Take care.

                          David

                          • M.J.

                            I have struggle with sexual immorality in my life for so long. Ever since I became addicted to pornography at a young age it had affected me and always made me feel cut off. There have been times in my life where I have succeeded for a time to abstain and keep pure, but as EM had said before it frustrates me that I ask God for forgiveness but keep doing it again and again, and feeling like there is little point in asking for forgiveness when I know that I may do so again. I had also started a good Christian relationship in April this year hat started off well, but eventually temptation crept in and now we have sunk into sexual immorality again, up until now. I once tried to convince my girlfriend that we shouldn’t anymore, but almost lost her, at which I gave in and did it to keep her happy. I just wish that she could understand how serious sexual immorality is then it would certainly help me because I so wish to do so but fear losing her, especially now that she has serious health problems (a cyst) which complicate things. I can’t talk to anyone about it at church and I just pray that God will get me and my gf out of our situation. It has been a blessing to know that there are others who feel the exact same way I do.

                            • Kate

                              I have also struggled with sexual immorality in more ways than one for the past 13 years of my life and I am only twenty years old. I am a college student and feel like I am in Babylon – the pressures and temptations are so overwhelming here each night is an unbelievable battle to stay away from sin..and many nights I have failed myself. I have given myself to many and I have never had a boyfriend. My fear and hatred of the feelings of loneliness hold so strong in me that when I get that phone call at 2 am from my “friend with benefits” guy I have to go. I jump at the opportunity of spending one night with someone – for someone to want me even if it is just for the night is so amazing and unbelievable to me. This guy I know does not actually like me. I realize this and yet I still go to him. My desires are strong in lust but it is the horrible feeling of emptiness and loneliness that really makes me go to him.
                              I know what is right and what should be. I know that it is God’s love that I need and seek. It is his love that will fill my heart and all the holes I’ve torn in it and given away to lovers. I know he can make me whole again. But I don’t understand. I obviously don’t understand because I don’t stop doing what I am doing. I don’t feel the spiritual satisfaction of God’s love as much as I can feel the instantaneous relief of the physical “love”. I am struggling with this in the worst way right now. I have reached out for help but I don’t feel I am doing my part. I still have all the wants and desires as I have always had. This struggle is horrible and I feel as if it is killing me. I pray for strength and for God’s love to fill me up so that I may not feel these wants and desires. I do not know how to get out of this alone. I have such a strong hold on earthly things. I feel as if the only way to get through this is with someone else. I pray for God to send me a husband that may help me and guide me to understanding and having a healthy relationship and stearing me away from my impurity. But I fear God does not see me as ready for that now…and possibly ever. I know there are consequences to my actions and I fear most of all that God will not send me a husband but instead my greatest fear will be lived that I will be alone.
                              I hope some sense can by made of this. My thoughts are running wild in every direction. I’m fighting a battle in my mind and in my heart and I am very fearful of my own strength being far too fragile and weak to win this battle – maybe I will win it today and get through today and tonight but tomorrow is a new day and another battle. My strength is being drained from me.

                              • Grace

                                Hi Kate, i am exactly undergoing the same struggle as you have right now, with the same fear. I’ve been living in sexual sin for almost 6 years now with a non-chrisitian-friend-with-benefits..He taught me everything about it.

                                And i feel like as i go along, i no longer have the conviction from the Holy Spirit. I am so afraid that God’s wrath is already on me.

                                I have nobody to talk to because i happened to belong to a conservative culture.

                                I badly need your prayers, brothers and sisters in Christ. This is tormenting me so much. I’ve been a Christian for so long now, but this has seriously led me away from the Lord. I have recently seriously repented and yet just a while ago, I fell into temptation again. I feel so frustrated and so condemned.

                                • David Butler Author

                                  Dear Sisters and Brothers:

                                  Thanks for the honest sharing. I know it is hard…cause I’m a huge sinner too. Renenber, confessing our sins to God and each other is a huge first step toward healing. Sister Grace, God has not forsaken you..He sees your heart struggle…and that is precious to Him because deep down you want the right thing.

                                  Let’s covenant to pray for each other, ok? The whole purpose of this ste is to give Christian singles a place to mmet other singles not only for dating, but also for accountability…that’s one reason why we will be shortly adding a forum….

                                  David

                                  • ultimo

                                    girls,
                                    when a guy asks u to do something you know he’s trying to talk you into doing something that he needs in order to be sexually fulfilled. its probably something that u know will satisfy him and help him to not need real sex since you’re not married yet. But in actuality he is looking for you to show your strength as a woman and to say no. he wants to know your boundaries and a good guy, even a dirty good guy will have more fun dating you when you have shown him how much or little you are comfortable with by being strong and saying no.

                                    • DarkPa1adin

                                      Hi everybody,

                                      i’m a sinner like you. And i certainly do fall into terrible sexual immorality like viewing pornography, indulge in sexual imaginations/fantasies, as well as masturbate. Worst still, i know Scriptures. And it is true few years back, i did doubt that i was even not born-again. Like what you guys mention, “what’s the point of asking for forgiveness if i’m going to commit this sins later/in future?” And in time past, my understanding of genuine repentance is like that of King David, after his adultery with Bathsheba and never to commit adultery again. [something like “go and sin no more” as the Lord Jesus told the woman who caught in the act of adultery]

                                      This year, i’m 20, i had pornography influence since before the age of 6 but after age of 4 iirc. and a lot of sexual immoral experience except fornication. Where as adultery, i did it in the mind (see Matthew 5-7, Sermon on the mount). No matter what sin great or small, is still sin. At the age of 15, went to a fundamentalist church and attended service/sunday schools. Being taught not to commit fornication many times, abstain from all appearance of evil and many more, yet still fall into sin as sometimes i want, i urge or resign to temptation.

                                      Kate: strength and victory comes from God. But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. (Isaiah 40:31)

                                      When we think we are alone, often time is we lack trust and believe. Jesus Christ gave the great commission in Matthew 28 ending 3 verses. He said “and lo, I am with you alway, even until the end of the world.” Although visibly we are unable to see physically the Lord Jesus Christ, nevertheless his presence can be felt if we are close to him.

                                      Grace: Men are already condemned if not for the Lord Jesus Christ (in John 3:17-18) We need to thank God all the more that we are saved.

                                      With regards to this quote, ‘ask God for forgiveness but keep doing it again and again, and feeling like there is little point in asking for forgiveness when I know that I may do so again.’ as cited above.

                                      -Although i may be wrong in my explanation, but i just would like to suggest something that is, before we pray, we should ask ourselves that are we earnestly willing to change? little by little, one step at a time? Is there anything that we are holding back? (as according to 2cor 6:14-7:1) is there a change in our attitude towards sin? The answer to these questions may not be answered immediately, but is there a desire to answer them in your life? Many a times the problem lies in “do we trust in prayer? or do we pray believing in Jesus’s name?”

                                      God would love to hear our prayers more than we want to pray. There is a commandment, Pray without ceasing 1 Thessalonians 5:17. By fulfilling this commandments certainly help us to get rid of our vain thoughts and our faithlessness. Remember the Parable of the prodigal son? Luke 15:11 onwards, how the father when he receive his son who went away(or so called “wasted”), rejoice. Our heavenly Father is the same, he would joy and rejoice for our return to him.

                                      And lastly the things that touch me most is found in Jeremiah 3:22a. Return, ye backsliding children and I will heal your backslidings.

                                      This is the faithfulness of God wanting us to go back to him.

                                      Certainly for my case, even after knowing these Scriptures and once upon a time touched me, yet i still fall and capitulate into sins of masturbations and pornography due to not praying without ceasing (both formally and informally). And by keep on committing such active sins, it certainly makes me think that i’m unable to serve in various ministries as my life hasn’t been proven in my total submission to God. Although i know one thing that is we are all unworthy to serve God, it is by God’s grace that we serve him. nevertheless my walk with God isn’t good.

                                      Even as i typed my comments i do feel miserable as i’m not right with God at this point in time. May God forgive us for his mercies’ sake.

                                      This comment of mind is never to condemn or look down but to tell you that, you’re not alone.

                                      Verses quoted from King James Bible
                                      In Christ with love,
                                      Samuel

                                      • Ashley

                                        Hi All,

                                        I’m nearly 22 yrs old and I’ve been in a relationship with my Christian boyfriend (who is 23) for over 6 months. This man is amazing but lately we too have fallen into sexual impurities. We both desperately want to stop and let our relationship being a bless to God but it’s like we literally can’t stop. Reading all of these comments is really helpful in how to fix this. Committing to Christ is really what is going to help us. We are both so in love with the Lord and I agree with Em in that it’s so hard to ask for forgiveness when we turn around and do it all over again. I feel so ashamed that I do that to my God. I just feel like someday he’s not going to give me anymore chances to redeem myself. I know this to not be true but I feel he’s really upset with both my boyfriend and I. The man I’m dating is one that I would love to spend the rest of my life with and we’re both dedicated to the fact of marriage but before any big steps can be taken or before our relationship can get any deeper we need to cut out our sexual impurities. I just need some lifting up and some words of wisdom. I feel so lost in this struggle. I beg for God to grant me the strength to stand up to sexual desires. I know in my heart this is what I want and I know that the Lord can see that in my heart. I just hope He believes me. I’m afraid if this continues my relationship with my boyfriend will end. We’re completely happy when we are sexually pure so why is it that we still commit sexual acts? We love to be with each other without being intimate yet we still fall. I need some encouragement.

                                        God Bless,
                                        Ashley

                                        • Malika

                                          Hi guyz!!
                                          Regarding sexual impurity, aAfter I read Kate and Grace’s replies, I was in tears…because I feel the shame they are feeling..I really do, because i too am a sinner…I have been sinner for too many years of my life..and the sad part is,iv been trying to leave my sinful life,but it just keeps on calling me back!!!…i am tired of carrying this sinful baggage on my shoulders…How do i stop this behaviour?…why do we so sin much?…
                                          Dee

                                          • Carolina

                                            Dear Ashley,

                                            Regarding sexual impurity I am going through the same situation as you. I and my fiance love God and wants to please God. However, We are struggling a lot with our sexual purity. We are getting married in less than 2 months and this battle of sin is becoming very hard to control. I feel very ashamed with God and feel I don’t deserve forgiveness for falling all over again. I pray that God can forgive us and give us enough strength to overcome this battle of sin. This website has encouraged he because it let me know of what the Bible says that if we confess our sexual impurity and pray to God for forgiveness, we will be forgiven.

                                            • ceekay

                                              In regard to sexual impurity. I would like to agree with Samuel and a lot that he shared is true, and one of the things as single believers is to remember the scripture in Isaiah 41:10 where it says “Do not be afraid, for I am with you, dont be discouraged for I am your God, I will strengthen you and help you, I will hold you up with my victorious right hand” remember brothers and sisters that God is true to His word and He is a present help in trouble, so please dont get discouraged and feel like you have failed God, remember He knows what we are going to do before we do it, yet His love for us does not change, so when you fail and fall “Repent” He is just and faithful to forgive dont feel like you have repented so many times that you dont want to repent anymore, dont let the devil lie to you, the Blood of Jesus has made it possible for us to come to Him and ask for forgiveness as many times as we have to until we understand His love for us and get to the place where we dont do it anymore. Remember you have a Helper the Holy Spirit that helps us in our weaknesses so call on the His help and do not stay silent. A silent believer is a defeated believer so be open and honest with God about what you are going through. We are able to overcome because of Jesus. Stay encouraged.

                                              Sister in Christ
                                              CeeKay

                                              • jolene

                                                Hi all

                                                I am a mom of 2. I am single for about 6 years now since I gave my life to Jesus. but i struggle with sexual impurity ie. masturbation. i am so ashamed. but i am battling this for years and no mate in sight. i ask GOd why i have to be in this situation. i go months on a high then i slump when my hormones get the better of me. however, i have noticed that its less frequent as i have immersed myself in GOD. I know the key lies in self control which I guess i lack. Pray for me

                                                • David Butler Author

                                                  CeeKay, thanks for those comments, sister!

                                                  Jolene:

                                                  Thanks for your honest sharing. Please do not be ashamed for several reasons: 1. We all struggle in this area at one time or another. 2. Remember the Lord created you as a sexual being with all those hormones you mentioned. Having sexual feelings and desires is NOT sinful. It’s how we channel our drive that matters. Rejoice and thank him for who He will provide for you in the future.

                                                  David

                                                  • Rebekah

                                                    Wow this website is so encouraging.
                                                    My Bf and I are both christians and haven’t had sex but have done other things related to sex. We have once again put a stop to our actions but I am a little doubtful at how long it might last. We had agreed to visit our Pastor about our situation and then decided to give ourselves one more chance at stopping on our own. I guess Im just looking for prayer for strength and also just to unload the weight that our situation puts on me. When we do stuff I don’t necessarily feel guilty all the time but just know that its wrong and want to stop. Is it because I have become hardened in this area to God’s Spirit because we have done stuff for 6 months and it has almost become a norm for us?
                                                    Love a comment back
                                                    Thanks

                                                    • Ethan

                                                      Me and my girlfriend have been in a relationship for about 7 months now and we are both strong Christians. We have talked about our sexual sin and how we need to keep our eyes on Gods plan, but being very attracted to eachother is really hard. not just physicaly attracted but also emotionaly, spiritualy. we are not having intercourse, but even touching over the clothes is something that we feel like we shouldnt be doing. We talk about marriage and how much easier we feel it would be because we dont struggle with wondering thoughts about other people. our biggest stuggle is physical stuff with eachother. we will mess up and then ask for forgiveness and then everything will be good for a few weeks but then we would get some alone time and at the time we both want it, but afterward we feel horible. is there some advice on how to flee from our sexual sin?? i care about this girl to much to lose her over sexual sin.
                                                      thanks

                                                      • Santa

                                                        I really do need some prayer and support right now. I’m 29, and I became a Christian and gave my life to the Lord when I was 22. All these years I have lived a single life and I would pray that God would bring me a wife who loved him. I really do love Jesus. I’m an attractive guy and a lot of people don’t understand why I have never dated and am waiting on who God has for me. I told the Lord and made a vow to him once that I would wait until marriage…so for me it was 7 years of not having sex (I was only involved with one girl sexually from when I Was 19-21 before I knew the Lord.) Well just last night I ended up having sex with a girl I had met 2 weeks ago. I cannot believe that I even allowed myself to let this happen. My spirit feels grieved. I think and feel that I have dissapointed the Lord and I have been crying all day today… I don’t know what to do. I have repented but I worry that I will let myself fall into this situation again. After being single for 7 years I started to doubht God has anyone for me and I know that isn’t true but I really need to be strong right now. Please pray for me.

                                                        • Roberto

                                                          I’m so happy that I found this site.
                                                          I’m a 27 year old single male, I got saved a year ago.( Everything that is bad I think I have done it from Fonication,Drugs,crimes you name it.)God came into my life and changed it completely. The LORD called me to minister his word for his glory.
                                                          But even do I Pray ,recieve revalations, evangelize,preach,baptized in the Holy Spirit and fire. I fall into sexual inmorality (masturbation to be exact).I go true days were I ask the Lord why did He choose me for this? His Mercy and His Love goes way beyond our understanding. Corinthians 1:27
                                                          27But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.

                                                          I acknowledge that disobedience is the cause of myself falling into sin because the Holy Spirit calles me to pray and I act like I don’t know is the LORD calling me.
                                                          Ephesians 4:30
                                                          30And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

                                                          Before giving my life to Christ,I got married for the “wrong reason”. Still legaly married but separated (we both cheated on each other. I don’t want to be with her no more,I love her and care for her but as far as getting back toghether I just can’t do it, I don’t like her as a wife.
                                                          I Struggle with lonelines, I pray to GOD for a saved women, Im tired of falling into sin(masturbation) My urges get so stong that i have actually orgasom without touching myself, I can’t even have a conversation with a woman without sexual desires coming to mi mind; and for some reason after becoming a Christian the “wrong females” come to me , I run from females because I know is Satan that send these females to me and wants me to fall into fornication,sometimes in groups. But yet I’m afraid to end up by myself with out kids.
                                                          I’m afraid of falling after what JESUS has done for me.(Philippians 2:7-8)
                                                          Please pray for me!

                                                          • angela

                                                            hi,
                                                            am a damsel aged 20 and deeply defeated by sexual sin.

                                                            i remember in my early teenage days i kept chasity as my number one vitual,i valued the fact that i was a virgin and it really gave me so much pride. i can also say i lived most of my life single because of my belife that God would bring a Godly mate whom i would experince true sexual relationship only in the sacred bonds of marriage

                                                            But however as a grew both in statue and emotionally i began to change, this all happened when i had my first boyfriend whom i grew to love and treasure as he was my very first love,funny ha.Sadly his love for me dnt mount my love for him not to mention, he had lots of roses like me in his garden which was really a draw back for me, but by the grace of God i survered.

                                                            In my broken hearted state i resorted to living a single peaceful life,the goodness here was that he had not termpered with my virginity, well in short i was still a virgin and very proud of that fact.

                                                            However, i didnt remain in this innocent state for long becouse after a year of singlhood, i landed my self in another titanic relationship only that this time i …. well compromised and i can say it changed the course of my life both spiricially and emotionlly,waste still i ended up being dumped and this was a major set back coz not only had i lost my diginity but also my precious virginity.

                                                            i went for months blaming my self for bring so loose and vulnerable and really thinking guys were the same that it made me move to another town in serach for same diginity and same how, compaionship with same one who would cherise and love me unconditionally.

                                                            To my greatest delight i bumped into such a one, who seemed to be my dream guy,well let me just say he possesed the desired qualities not only for a boyfriend but for a father and husband, same thing i had prayed and waited for. Thus this time i promised myself and often prayed to God not to make the same mistakes i had made in the past( sexually).

                                                            As both belivers we avioded tempting situations which would ruin this blossoming realationship and often keep our distance but same how we couldnt just resist the temptation and ended up falling into sexual sin which was really a set back for both of us. However same how it has became a habite and a way of life which really a spiritual draw back for us.

                                                            pliz pray 4 us

                                                            luv sis in the LORD
                                                            Angela

                                                            • Sunny

                                                              I must be the worst christian guy because I’ve come from such a good family background and really given my life to God from an early age. God has given me a lot too. But I have done so many bad things and for all I know I will probably do them again. I regularly pay for sex. It started out once after my girlfriend broke up I was devastated and wanted to do the worst thing to myself that I could. And over time it became a way to deal with hurt and pain. But now its the only way I know to release my sexual charge. I’m also on prozac which seems to intensify my appetite (both for food and sex). Its hard in your mid-20s when the urges are so strong. I don’t have a girlfriend that I can even think about and I don’t think a girl will ever want to marry me. Even I try to live the single celibant life but can’t. I don’t know what to do. Obviously I ask for forgiveness but then a month later I sin again. Television doesn’t help all the commercials use sex. And friends just encourage me to be promiscious. The only good thing is that one of my female friends started hanging out. She’s very beautiful (both inside and outside) and I could control myself if I had hope that there was a future for us but I don’t think there is 🙁 I just don’t want to sin and let Jesus down anymore.

                                                              • Leah

                                                                Hi Sunny, wow that’s deep, you really have to pray, pray, pray, we all fall short and want to please GOD, but its like our flesh get ahold of us and we get weak… but pray for deliverance, strength and selfcontrol, and when you fall short, REPENT, don’t ever give up on GOD, HE said in his WORD, I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU, NOR FORSAKE YOU, so His arms are always open. Remember PRAY. Stay strong and GOD BLESS.

                                                                • katina

                                                                  In regard to sexual impurity and singles, the bible says that some things come by fasting as well as prayer. So I have seen that fasting helps with self control. Thank God the blood covers us and we do not have to live in condemnation because we are in Christ. I will fast and pray for all of us that continue in this struggle. I hope to hear from those who are successful with controlling sexual urges. It is funny I was delivered from smoking and I cannot smoke a cigarette. I wonder will I ever get to the point well I cannot commit fornication or adultery???? Or will it always be a self control type of thing? Any one out there in which the desire for sex has been taken away until your wedding day??

                                                                  • kelv

                                                                    sexual sins in form of pornography and masturbation is a big war for christian singles. mine is not an exemption as i am in THE FIGHT OF MY LIFE as Kirk Franklin and Apostle Paul (Romans 7:21) said against sin.

                                                                    But Romans 7:21 has the answers to our struggles.
                                                                    In my present FIGHT, i just came across a prostitute and was preaching to her. we became friends cos we always discuss personal issues together.

                                                                    but we have started “falling” madly inlove! yet, she has nt given her to christ. she is so sexy and tempting that myheart is failingme cos i am dispointing God. we havent had sex but that wasnt my “mission” to her when i approached her in the corner of the street where she was standing.

                                                                    i need help brethren, cos it is demoralizing me spiritually and emotionally especially when i am praying for a miracle of truelove in my life.

                                                                    it has also caused me to return to masturbation! i fantasies about her body … i need help!

                                                                    • Mamazboy

                                                                      Well, i’m a born again christian who has been struggling with sexual sins since from a very young age. I’ve been reading and relating to each and every one of you. I’ve grown to except my life the way it is. I’ve tried everything, prayer, therapy and etc but still, i keep heating back to same spot. But someday i know that God will deliver me as he did in many other challenges i’ve faced.

                                                                      But a prayer from all of you guyz would help so much!

                                                                      • Rock

                                                                        Eve blamed the serpent, Adam blamed Eve;
                                                                        Once again “Denial” is the sin; “Confession” is what God awaits in order for Him to do only what HE can do.

                                                                        Rock.

                                                                        • Nos

                                                                          indeed, in line with sexual impurity, there is no temptation which can seize you except what is common to man… i’m also struggling with this area.. the thing that i want to do, is so difficult, but the thing which i know i shouldn’t do, i keep doing.. just a few hours ago, i fell with my gf. nothing too serious, but.. it’s just something i hope won’t happen again. felt a little disappointed and responsible. on one hand, i don’t want my relationship to revolve around just one facet of the relationship, but on the other.. i am always cheeky, and i feel that it’s one of my attractive quality, without being cheeky and daring, she wouldn’t find me attractive anymore. i guess that’s the deeper issue i am struggling with, insecurity

                                                                          • Tired

                                                                            Hello,

                                                                            I am a 27 year old single woman that is practicing abstinence until marriage. In the past two months I have gone out with three different guys and they all decided not pursue anything further with me because I will not have sex til marriage. I went out with number three last night. Honestly I will not back down on this, but I’m angry and I frustrated because I feel I’m being obedient to God and I’m making a sacrifice to honor him, but I’m being punished. I’m lonely and I want companionship, I want to be married and have a family. I thought by this time in my life that would be the case and I’m upset by that. I know people that have premarital sex, don’t believe in God and are happy with their relationships and our even engaged. I myself I pay my tithes, sew, testify to non believers, but I’m the one sitting alone and feeling pathetic wondering if things are ever going to change. Lately, I’ve been feeling that being a child of God is one of the most hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I feel as if God does not see my pain and that I’m tired of going through the same disappointments. It appears the more tired, hurt and pain I feel from being lonely the worst it gets. It’s like God is making a mockery of me or teasing me, he knows how much it’s hurts yet he keeps bringing these types of men in my life. As easy as it is to put the wrong man in my life. Why can’t it be as easy to put the right man in my life? I will never give in, but I’m tired of getting the same crap. Will I ever be blessed for being obedient?

                                                                            • Thomas

                                                                              As an older single Christian man, and have never been married, I can relate to alot of your frustrations, I have been walking with the Lord now for over 12 years, and will soon be 48 years old.
                                                                              I used to be addicted to porn, and sleeping around and masturbation, and do struggle with loneliness at times, but I believe with all my heart and soul, that the Lord is waiting for me, to bless me in His more than perfect timing for a mate. I worry about my age, but know His timing is perfect, and not to worry about my future as a single.
                                                                              I have been walking in purity now for a long time, and committed to serving in the children’s ministry at the church I attend, which is a strong accountability partner for me, plus I have other Christians praying for me, and holding me accountable.
                                                                              You must fight off all sexual immorality, with the Lords help and others who are also committed to purity, because the reward of waiting until marriage, far outweight me abusing the gift of sexuality God has given to me.
                                                                              I talk this time to grow closer to Him, serve Him whole heartedly, and fellowship with other believers, and look forward to using His great gift and treasure of sexuality in a strong Christian marriage someday.
                                                                              So don’t despair, I have waited almost 48 years now, and just starting to realize it’s about God, not me, and as I seek first His kingdom, He will provide.
                                                                              I am praying for all of you, and encourage you to hang in there help is on the way.:):)

                                                                              • Confused

                                                                                Hello guys. My fiance and I also struggled with sexual impurity for years already and we are both Christians as well. We broke up several years back and that left a great scar in me, I had a harder time moving on that time due to the intimacy we had. Years later, we’re back together and I thought then that since this is the 2nd time, this is really God’s timing and leading for us. We were engaged 2 months ago and I was indeed thrilled how things are working out for us. Since we are to be married, I allowed intimacy again since he reasoned we are to be married soon. Then just this month, he called off the wedding. I’m too shocked and confused and felt so cheated on. Should i just take all these events as coming from God or should I still try to save the relationship? Pls pray for me.

                                                                                • AfricanQueen

                                                                                  Hey Everyone!
                                                                                  I’m a Reverends daughter and have always been raised with Christian principles. However, early in my teenage years I started sexual impurity with a man I thought was destined to be mine. Since then I couldn’t stop, i went on and on until I had my first baby at the age of 19…at 21 the second also came along. They are blessings I know, however at times I realise that I pushed God’s glory out of my life by continually engaging in sexual immorality while knowing the truth.
                                                                                  I’m now 23 years of age and had met a wonderful man in 2007. Even though he has no kids of his own, he had accpeted mine as his and was willing to marry me and the kids.
                                                                                  God spoke to my heart in the last few weeks of 2008, I suddenly had an inner urge to change my way of living. I started feeling that I need God to make things right.
                                                                                  I prayed and asked for forgivenss and right now I’m having His Word as my daily bread so that I can rebuild the relationship between us.
                                                                                  I had to break up with that wonderful man because we had already engaged in sexual activities and I know it would be difficult to just stop. As painful and difficult as it was I decided to let him go. Needless to say, he hates me for doing this to us. It broke me too to do that to such a kind and caring man. But it is God’s will right?
                                                                                  I must admit God’s way is not always easy and I feel so lonely at the moment. I need some support, my mind is always thinking that maybe its not so bad to have just one sexual partner but then again I know what His word tells us…

                                                                                  • Peace

                                                                                    Hi! There’s no doubt that this struggle of sexual impurity tops satan’s favorite to deceive and lure people. I pray that more fragile minds and hearts will be enlightened and their eyes be opened from the enemy’s trap. It is stealing us joy and God’s wonderful plan and purpose for our lives. If we will not get serious and fight this deceit it is as if we are allowing satan to rule us and let him steal best things God originally designed for us to have, to have peace, joy, and an abundant life living to the full. God loves us so much, He is just waiting for us to repent, be serious about this, He can’t wait to give us the blessings any longer, all He need is for us to come to Him and completely surrender confess and turn away from this trap. God bless you all!! you can do it with God’s grace! It is never too late to make a decision to once again give yourself a chance as God is loving and patient, He is the God of second chances for those sincere and truthfull hearts! Shine for Jesus!!!!

                                                                                    • dakota

                                                                                      Hi,
                                                                                      I am a mom and going through a divorce that I didn’t want. I recently ran into someone from my past I care deeply for. This person doesn’t know the Lord and I have been trying to lead them to the Lord. This person listens to me and respects me a great deal. I feel like I have let down God because this person and I are attracted to each other and always have been. I am very lonely and thoughts and desires run through my mind constantly. I desire this person and I have done things with this person that go against what God wants for me, but we have not had intercourse. I feel like such a hypocrite because I am saved and yet this person has more self control than I do. It is me who seeks affection from this person, He doesn’t want me to go against my beliefs or do anything that would damage my relationship with the Lord. I want to my life to stand as a light for the Lord to guide this person to his love and grace, but I allow my desires to get the better of me and I sin against what the Lord wants for me. I want a relationship with this person, but I want it to be godly and pleasing to the Lord. I pray for strength. My marriage was not based on sexual purity. My ex-husband sexually-digrated and raped me, verbally and emotionally abused me, and physically abused me and our children. and I don’t want the same thing to happen to this relationship because of sexual impurity. My ex-husband has moved on and now has a life with someone else. I pray for her safety. I once never thought I could go on with my life or be with someone else but the Lord has shown me through my pastor’s guidance that the Lord separated our union for mine and my children’s safety. I do not want this relation ship to follow down the same road. I want a godly relationship that is based in purity and love. I have never known what a healthy, sexually pure relationship is like. Please pray that I can submit to God’s will for my life and that I can be freed from my past.

                                                                                      • Julia

                                                                                        So, I have noticed that there are a lot of christian relationships that have fallen into sin. This really shocked me because I thought I was alone in this topic. My boyfriend and I have been sexually active and I know that God forgives me but I just keep doing it still. We’re both in a christian university and we’ve been dating for 1 year and 7 months. My big question is what to do with the relationship? My boyfriend is such an AMAZING guy with all of the qualities I have looked for in a future husband. We are best friends and he brings me up spiritually, however, we are in this sin.. Does God want me to leave him because of this sin or am I supposed to keep trying? I want to do God’s will but I also don’t want to give up my best friend and regret it. I know that once you have committed such sin (especially with how many times we have) , it is almost impossible to turn the relationship around but should I still be trying? I want to marry this man so badly. Please help me with some advice.

                                                                                        • sktam

                                                                                          Do you love your boy friend more than Jesus? If you do, then love him as yourself and do not allow him to be trapped in this setuation. You see, the most important ideal is who is first. Is Jesus first or second in line? If He, Lord Jesus Christ is first, then everything else is second. If not He is second and everything else is first-sex. Choose Him to be first in everything and surrender yourself to Him and He, Lord Jesus Christ will help you to overcome.
                                                                                          The problem with Jesus is not forgiving you, Your are preciuse to him, He will and you can start over. However you give way to the accusations and assults to the demons who sometime make you hopeless and hinder you from repenting. My concern is if you repeat doing it, sex…repent…sex ..repent then at some point you might say, i pray not, heck with this and totally indulge in full fledge sex activity- to the extreme. This is what demons are waiting for. Many brother and sisters are lost because they are not able to stand free of guilt. I suggest stand firm and do not do it. If not then, why not get married and be together this seems to be the way out if you can not control your self. May you have the ability to control this urge. Amen

                                                                                          • sktam

                                                                                            I feel your pain and I understand your setuation. It is not an easy passage. Life sometimes pushes us to such narrow passage than hinders us to use our accumulated wisdom. At times, we need a “”donkey”” to communicate with us. However pacient will do the trick. Do not give in for dispaire let pacient inspire you. I hope this new person is not using you-it is an abuse of trust. Abuse also breeds abuse. May be out of fear you are giving in to another abuser. Do you want that? I do not think so. Since you are not thinking and seeing clearly at this point, pray and wait. The Lord has someone there for you. A better lover is there. If you be pacient then he will be there!!! May the Lord Jesus Christ

                                                                                            • Jessica

                                                                                              I’m just going to be honest from the beginning and say that I haven’t had religion in my life for years. I started dating a Christian guy about four months ago. Our biggest struggle was sexual impurity. He was my first boyfriend, even first kiss, but he quickly pushed our relationship to a level that was not entirely pure. About a month into the relationship he suddenly regreted the things we had done and said it would’nt happen again. Well, it did. I respected his feelings and religion to the fullest, but he always brought it back to that level. He finally ended our relationship, yesterday, saying he needs someone with a more mature relationship with the Lord. I completely understand, but I’m truly heartbroken. I feel like he’s blaming me for his mistake of giving into temptation. I still love him and I guess I just wanted others to know that remaining sexual pure, at eighteen, is not easy. It takes a lot of dedication, but I understand the benefits if successful.

                                                                                              • Mar

                                                                                                If you know of groups dowtown Toronto where support and acauntability is found I will really apreciate it.

                                                                                                Single 39 female, 13 years since baptized. But, masturbation has been making me struggle and feel terrible in the last 6 years. I just did not battle with it at all the first 7 years as a Christian even I was sexually active b4 converted. God really turned it off then.

                                                                                                I know it has been more of a control issue when I am stressed, angry or dissapointed. I think lately I am allowing it much more often and in wilder ways than b4. Certainly I have read all the scriptures around it and about the body as our temple. But I feel is TRUSTING the Lord what I should work on.

                                                                                                I hate when I hear Crhistians and worst if they are counsellors and prechers saying it is ok bc “singles need a way to let go and it is better than getting involed w/somebody…”

                                                                                                For me it is a practice that exercises and strength my rebeliousness, selfishness, isolation, and deceitfulnes of feeling-thinking I could get satisfaction by myself and I do not need anybody. I think-feel it just takes me farther from learning experience what love, patience and giving means. I just do not want to become a person like that. But I also feel too weak to excersise everyday, fast or keep looking for whom may help. To weak to fight it, and keep trying to prevent it (I do not watch TV any more) but sometimes my body just aches for it.

                                                                                                Am I too legalistic? I know God forgives me and loves me, … butI do not think that is the issue.

                                                                                                • Katie

                                                                                                  I have been blessed reading all these posts.
                                                                                                  I’m the same and I am struggling with a internal battle.
                                                                                                  I promised God I would not give into temptation again..But I did.
                                                                                                  I don’t know what to do, I feel so ashamed praying, so ashamed to repent. I feel so guilty that I have no idea what to do anymore. I know God will forgive me, but I’m not willing to forgive myself for what I did knowing it was wrong.

                                                                                                  • Anonymous

                                                                                                    Thank you so much for this. I’ve been struggling with masturbation over the past year and a half. I feel so terrible and guilty. I always tell myself and tell God I won’t ever do it again, but I said that… 10 months ago, and I say it again and again. I feel dreadful for being so disobedient and keeping it all to myself. This made me feel better and made me want to endeavor towards the ultimate goal of never doing again. Thank you again. In Christ.

                                                                                                    • Anonymous

                                                                                                      Loving one is one thing, but if the one you love ask of more than what God would want you to do… such as having sex before marriage, DONT DO IT! You’re worth waiting for female or male and one of the best things you can do to please the lord is to just wait for his timeing. Some times letting go is the best way to let someone know you love them. Pray, and read the bible and you can’t go wrong. And when you feel like you’ve slipped and falled stand back up and go to the lord! God Bless!!!!!! 🙂

                                                                                                      • Hope

                                                                                                        Hi my name is Hope and i just wanted to let you guys know that EVERYONE sins encluding preachers, teachers, pastors, christians, … But that doesnt mean you can’t know the lord and take in his word. I am a christian and have been one for years and yet i still fall under the sin of masterbating, cursing, and even having the wants of having sex….but thats when i have to be strong put it behind me and just say No. God loves you dont ever forget and when you feel ashamed or guilty ask for his forgiveness he hears you. I myself have found myself getting better at just saying No…its hard but if i can do it so can u dnt quit stay strong and most importantly go to the lord.

                                                                                                        • Kavi

                                                                                                          Hi All, after reading your comments it’s kinda good to know that I’m not alone in this battle, although I think it would have been much better if non of us had to suffer like this. It is a continuoes battle between the mind and the spirit and for some reason the mind/flesh always wins and that’s why we keep doing it. I hate it when people say that masturbation si not wrong if it doesn’t involve lust, my thing is, why masturbate if you don’t desire something sexual, it just doesn’t make sense. For me masturbation is wrong, not because my pastor or leaders say so, but because I feel convicted about it. I am so far from being a saint, but I am a sinner with a future, just that I don’t know how to make my way past this mess. Right now it’s okay, because I’m talking to you guys about it, but when the thoughts come, and I lose control, nothing can help me,I’m like a lion thats very hungry, and nothing can get in a lions way when he sees prey. I wish that I knew how to turn my passion around and use it in my ministry. I’m currently on disipline, so I’m not involved in any church activities, I really needed this, but it feels like room for more sin. I need help, and a friend, I feel like my best friend(The Lord) has turned his face away because the sight is too painful to bear:)broken hearted and lost

                                                                                                          • Tina

                                                                                                            I have not done any sexual intercourse with someone but I still feel that I am not pure and I feel so terrible because I’ve been engage in pornography such as reading sex stories and I know that It’s not good and I feel very ashamed of my self because I was a Sunday School teacher in our church before and I everybody thinks that I’m such a good person but they don’t know that I am really struggling inside. Actually I was able to stop engaging my self in doing such things for like 3 months and now this week I did it again and I feel so scared to God because He might be very angry to me and maybe He feels very disappointed to me. I really want to stop doing this I want to be clean and pure. Lord, I am so sorry for engaging my self in pornography, please help me to stop doing this and Lord please help me to become a better person. I am asking that you will give me a strong will to say no to the urges of temptation. Lord please help me….

                                                                                                            • Charles

                                                                                                              Hey Tina,

                                                                                                              It is great that you are open and candid about your struggle. I am guy here (in mid 20s) and have a similar struggle viewing visually explicit material. But, I find that God is taking me through a path, that though I slip and fall headlong at times, He still picks me up, speaks words of encouragement to me and tells me that He still loves me the same. And as I allow God, the Holy Spirit to work the Grace of Christ Jesus into my heart, I find that my heart is getting strengthened by the day (as per the Bible verse ‘Wait on the Lord and He shall strengthen your heart’). As a result, I am able to understand God’s amazing love for me, His child, deep down in my very being and I am able to say NO to lust. God also reminds me of His wonderful provision for me in terms of a wonderful married relationship with His daughter in future. This hope too helps me say a big NO to lust and porn.

                                                                                                              • Just can't do this any more

                                                                                                                I am so tired of fighting sexual urges and battling with this issue. I was a very strong Christian until I fell in love with someone who did not believe. I waited for so long to meet someone but I never did until I was well into my late twenties. I still truly love this woman with all my heart but I broke up with her because we had sex and I felt too guilty about everything. She was one of my best friends and I feel that religion has messed up everything in my life. I ended up a complete wreck because of this. All I have now in my life is loneliness and I feel like I cannot be celibate until I am married. I am tired of waiting and I am angry with God. It is easy to say that you are going to wait until marriage when you are 18, but when you are going into your THIRTIES it just feels impossible!!!!!! Everyone else I know who does not believe in God is enjoying their young lives and young bodies and having sex all the time while I am the one who is totally depressed and a complete wreck. Why is this? Aren’t Christians supposed to feel peace, love and joy in their lives. I agree with Tired who commented above that it is too much to deal with some times. I really feel like I should just walk away from this stupid faith and never come back but I have tried to do that and I can’t. I can’t live without God but I am struggling to live as a Christian. Most of my friends are married by now and they cannot understand me. I get so depressed some times that I just want to kill myself. I just don’t know what to do anymore because I feel like being a Christian just isn’t worth it anymore.

                                                                                                                • katsel4

                                                                                                                  I understand how you are feeling…
                                                                                                                  I am 42 yrs old divorced and i have 2 religious sisters who expect me to wait till i am married…im like OMG …im a grown woman..not a virgin…and i am in love with a man who i just 3 mths ago flew to england to see him and be with,

                                                                                                                  well,i dont believe alot of this wait till your married stuff….and the church /christianity to me trys to make sex look like ohhh such a terrible sin…if you have it outside of marriage.
                                                                                                                  My belief is..if your in love with someone…and your a grown adult….having sex with your partner isnt wrong at all.

                                                                                                                  I waited around 3 yrs to see my fella..and i was faithful….and genuine while i waited and i damn well deserved what he gave me…when we were finally together again last may ….i love him…dearely and deeply i do.And if any religious group..church trys to make that wrong..disgusting…and ohhhhhhh what a huge sin….they are judgemental.Religion needs to keep their nose out of other peoples sex lives..and i am meaning adults sex lives.If you love the person as i do my guy .,,,,,there is nothing wrong with it.

                                                                                                                  religion/chrisitanity tries to make it dirty…when it isnt…and tries to place shame on us for showing our partner affection that is more than just kissing..holding hands..hugging.

                                                                                                                  Let me tell .i am a christian….and if you think im not by what i posted…then you are judgemental…….

                                                                                                                  God doesnt look down upon people for having sex with soemone they love…………God looks down upon those who have sex with the ones they dont love..one night stands..etc

                                                                                                                  H e will deal with those people.

                                                                                                                  • doug

                                                                                                                    To all: I to have struggled with some of these sins as mentioned above. But I am sad but not defeated in my struggle to put an end to these sins. Some God has taken from me, some remain. I think some remain to remind me that I am a sinner and I will die a sinner. But a saved sinner. All christians sins are forgiven ALL past, present and future. Praise Jesus! We are all in a process of santification. That means God is at work in your life showing you your sins through the Holy Spirit. Thats who is convicting you of your sin. Thats why you fill ashamed. Stay the course and God will free you, just stay the course. Fight the fight. And even if you die today your sins are forgiven. Praise Jesus! See Jesus is more concerned about the condition of your heart than if you can obey all he wills for you. If you could do all that then who needs jesus. So stay the course and remember your going to heaven not because you you can keep all Gods commands, but because your already pure in Gods eyes. That doesn’t give you the licence to sin, and what true christian would want to. Stay in the battle and when you die God could say to you “Well done my good and faithful servent”. God is perfect you are not.

                                                                                                                    • doug

                                                                                                                      Masterbating in itself in NOT a sin. It’s what you are thinking that can be lust or just impure and that is sin. Eating is not a sin but glutney is. Drinking is not a sin but drunkeness is. Any abuse to the temple of GOD which is what your body is, as a christian sin. Porno is always a sin because the images that you see are perverted,impure and unnatural. Read Ezekiel 23 especially Eze23:14 “But she carried her prostitution still further. She saw men PORTRAYED ON A WALL, figures of Chaldeans portrayed in red, 15 with belts around their waists and flowing turbans on their heads; all of them looked like Babylonian chariot officers, natives of Chaldea. 16 As soon as she saw them, she lusted after them and sent messengers to them in Chaldea. 17 Then the Babylonians came to her, to the bed of love, and in their lust they defiled her. She saw an image on the wall and lusted for them and called them unto herself. Now that’s LUST. She looked at a picture on a wall, saw, and had to have them and it (lust) bore sin. Now back in those days big hunky men were probably soft porn. It made her horny. So Matthew 5:28 “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” That is what it really is. NOT just thinking about sex with a woman, but actualy going for it and you have set your mind (heart) on getting her for sex. It’s not only thinking about having sex with another women It’s plotting and going to try to see if you can get her. And if that kind of thought comes into your heart you have already committed adultery.

                                                                                                                      • Techieperson

                                                                                                                        katsel4 – In reply to your post I just wanted to give my own viewpoint. Firstly, God actually created our bodies and he created sex. He created it to be a beautiful thing and it surely is! In fact, God told us to go forth and multiply so it is not something that God created to be misconceived as being bad, or disguisting. I think you know that though! but just stating that point in the lead up to my second point. My second point is that affection is the language of love expressed through the body. Holding someones hand, says “I’m with you”, a hug could say “You’re safe with me”. A simple sign of affection expressed by the body says more than words possibly could in many cases! This brings me to sex before marriage. Sex is the most intimate sign of affection you can give to another. It is self giving, it is saying “I am absolutely completely yours” When not in the context of marriage, you have to ask oneself, am I therefore telling a lie with my body, because I am not married to this person and am therefore not committing myself to them for the rest of my life. A general rule of thumb is that you should only be as physically affectionate with someone as you are willing to commit. That means anything from no kissing on the first date if you’re not even sure if you can commit to a second date to no sex before marriage if you feel you can’t commit to that person for the rest of your life.

                                                                                                                        God bless you and keep you.

                                                                                                                        • Sandj

                                                                                                                          I would like to thank all of you for your comments and your honesty because without it, I wouldn’t have been feeling even a tad better right now.

                                                                                                                          The lord has been in my life, my parents’ life and back to my ancestors. I wasn’t always aware of his importance in my life until just a couple of years ago. I met my bf 3 years ago, he’s a great guy and he even proposed. We have never had sexual intercourse, because that would “never” ever happen. I don’t want it and he doesn’t either because we love the Lord so much. But we’ve done many other things that lead to sin nonetheless; Because we all know, just thinking of the matter is already doing it.

                                                                                                                          The more i get closer to the Lord… the more I feel bad whenever I even think impurely. And it gets even worse when I get to the point of feeling the pleasure through my fantasies. After it’s all over, I would even pinch myself and ask myself, why do you do that? Why do you come back to the same point EVERY time?? I feel so lost. God is giving me messages and I know it, because I don’t confess. I know he wants me to and I know that by confessing, I might be forgiven… The thing is, I’m so ashamed… I feel so embarrassed, I can’t talk to the priest I know. Even the ones I don’t know! I don’t know how I could talk to someone… and just tell them FACE to FACE, that I have sexual thoughts, and sinned sexually even just in thought… This is how ashamed I feel. It’s to that extent. I don’t know how to open up to any priest..

                                                                                                                          I don’t know what to do about this. I know I have to confess, to begin a new start. I know that God is sending me that message everywhere I go. I was in a scouts meeting, and in our religious lecture, the priest started randomly talking about repenting and how we need to confess to be forgiven! I know that this is maybe what I need… but I just can’t do it.
                                                                                                                          Pray for me all, please, and give me your advice.

                                                                                                                          God Bless you all,
                                                                                                                          Sandj

                                                                                                                          • jennipher

                                                                                                                            Thank you thank you thank you for theses posts. JUST A WARNING!- MY STORY IS VERY SHAMEFUL: I have been struggling with sexual impurity for years. I slept with a married man wen i was 17. Then I slept with the brother of a guy I was seeing thinking it would ! I have been struggling with pornpgraphy addiction for about 2 years. Pornograpy is such a awful and serious sin because it is very difficult to escape from. I felf sooooo sick when after watching it (ESPECIALLY since im a woman in my 20s). and then promis I wont do it again, and then of course I fail. Also I wouldnt want to pray to God after because of the shame. My excuse for watching it was that ‘I havent slept with anyone since I was 17 so this is ok’. But its not because it SEPERATES us from GOD. GOD created sex. He knew that we would love it; thats why he made conditions as to how it is appropriate. It should ONLY be done within a MARRIED communion, where a commitment is made with each other’s body.

                                                                                                                            Inside myself I knew that what I was doing was wrong and that I needed to change. I then started to put myself right with God and get to know Jesus all over again. Because without Jesus, we will all be lost and completely done for. I have started reading a book called MESSAGES TO YOUNG PEOPLE by ELLEN G WHITE. and it teches about the importance of SELF CONTROL of the BODY as well as the MIND! It also taught me that when u sin, you CAN still PRAY, and tell God about your sin no matter how unworthy u feel.I have also started reading the Bible again and I have began to remember that God really does LOVE us all ( sooooooo much that he sent his only Son, our Lord Jesus Christ to die on our behalf and face humiliation and ridecule so we didnt have to). And JESUS has soooooooo much love for alll of us: He loves us (the sinner) but hates our wrong actions (the sin). I am learning each day to have self control over my mind and body and i havent watched pornograpy for so long that I dont even want to remember the last time.

                                                                                                                            So after this long ramble, I wanna say that we can all be free of any sexual impurity on 4 oconditions; 1. CONFESS TO GOD OUR SINS 2. CHANGE OUR MIND ABOUT WANTING TO SIN 3.ASK JESUS DAILY TO HELP US TO RESIST TEMPTATION (because HE knows how hard temptation can be) 4. READ THE BIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                                                                            • Jade

                                                                                                                              Yes, I do agree you first have to repeat first with a sincere heart to begin your healing and your deliverance. I remember when I was having the same issues. God lead me to the church I currently attend and I learned about accountablity. See the devil wants you to hide what you doing and not seek out help. Two verses that really helped me was 1 Corithians 10:11-12. I prayed that God would send some individuals in my life that had overcame this temptation and who I could confess my sexual sins to. Thank God he has delivered me. The one that I learned is even if I am having a wrong thought, I can go to my accountabilty partner and we can pray together. But first of all I go to God, read my word and pray. I will remember you in my prayers.

                                                                                                                              • Jodi Conaty

                                                                                                                                Dear Sandj,

                                                                                                                                It is so refreshing to hear your committment to waiting until you are married to have intercourse. This is a wonderful decision you have made that you will never regret. It seems that you have had struggles in some other areas, but that does not erase the accomplishment you have in protecting the most important part of your sexual purity. I can understand how impossible it must feel to confess these things to a priest.

                                                                                                                                Confession and repentance is essential to our forgiveness, Christians have different opionions on what form this takes on. Without entering into an area of philosophical debate on the subject I will focus on what holds true for all Christian, regardless of denomination.

                                                                                                                                God Himself, and He alone, takes away sin. (Lev. 4:21; Num. 5:7; 2 Sam. 12:13: Ps. 32:5, 38:19; 51:5,19) It is Jesus’ blood on the cross that saves us and that alone. Not deeds, or good works, not any religious rituals. When we try to add those things into the mix, we are saying that his crucifixtion wasn’t sufficient.

                                                                                                                                Think of it this way. When God created Adam and Eve they were right with God. They lived in the garden of Eden and enjoyed all the benifits of being in God’s grace. They were disobedient and brought sin into the world. Then they were seperate from God. The Old Testament is full of rituals, sacrifices and Pharisees.

                                                                                                                                That is why mankind needed a savior.

                                                                                                                                When Jesus died for our sins he restored our relationship to God. We are no longer seperate from God. We have complete access to God through Jesus Christ.

                                                                                                                                The bible tells us if we confess our sins to God, and repent we are forgiven. “If My people, who are called by My name, shall humble themselves, pray, seek, crave, and require of necessity My face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven, forgive their sin, and heal their land. (2 Chronicles 7: 14)

                                                                                                                                I hope you can be comforted in this promise that God has given to us.

                                                                                                                                God Bless,

                                                                                                                                Jodi

                                                                                                                                • Ann

                                                                                                                                  My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for about 8-9 months. I have been a strong Christian for years, but Christianity is a lot newer to him, so he is maturing in his faith. However, lately we have been struggling with sexual sin. We haven’t been having intercourse, but we still know that the things we are doing are not pleasing to God and we feel guilt afterwards. We have committed to not having a physical relationship, but is this enough? I have read elsewhere that you should break off the relationship for a period of 6 months and then consider whether this relationship is in God’s will. I think what makes it so hard is that we have talked about marriage a lot and that kinda threw things out of control. I care about my boyfriend very much, but is it possible for this relationship to still be a part of God’s will if we have been struggling with sin? We have now committed to stop all physical relations, but only time will tell if that will last. I feel like it will, because we truly want to please God. Also, though, I feel like I don’t know if we should take the risk because we should flee from temptation to protect ourselves. Right now the best thing I think would be for us to take time apart to work on our personal relationships with God and then decide if it is God’s will for us to be together. It’s really hard to be apart, though… Please let me know if you have any advice.
                                                                                                                                  Thanks!

                                                                                                                                  • Kyle

                                                                                                                                    Look, sexual sin is a killer. I’m only 13 and God is doing amazing things in my life. Im the leader of a bible study, currently changing peoples lives, just I see just some of the things God is doing for me. Then this sin is killing me. Before I found christ I was addicted to masturbation and porn. Then when I became a Christian it became worse. Im so lost and scared and I dont even know what to say. Im so scared that my life may be ruined by this that im helplessly telling you what my problem is and Im stuck. Im only 13 what do I do? Every time I think im free it comes up again. And I dont even feel shameful anymore because I have abandoned Gods forgiveness and sexual sinned knowing id be forgiven and it was really messed up. I want to change the world I love helping people but what most people dont realize about me is that my heart is aching for love and peace and freedom. I need help. All I do is help others but I just cant seem to help myself. What do I do?

                                                                                                                                    • Bry

                                                                                                                                      It is very encouraging to read through all of the previous posts by my brothers and sisters! We are all “in the fight” between our old nature (flesh) and the new nature (Holy Spirit)!!

                                                                                                                                      Keep this in mind- We except Christ for our forgivness once, but we are to choose HIM daily. I totally relate to the scenarios of not wanting to sin, but then finding ourselves on our sin- ashamed knees once again. I also understand the feeling that we just can’t be “right” with GOD after SOOO many times of sinning in the same area. This is a defeating, selfish stance! I know your saying, “but I was selfish for the sexual sin, and now your telling me I’m selfish for feeling as though GOD can’t forgive me”? Yes, that is exactly what I’m saying!! GET YOURSELF ON YOUR KNEES AND TELL GOD YOU ARE SORRY, AND THEN GET BACK IN THE FIGHT!!!!!! Everytime you start to “feel” the “urge” coming on, KNOW FOR SURE that your flesh is on the prowl and it’s only a matter of time! If you don’t focus on GOD by getting on your knees RIGHT THEN, you will most likely be on your knees later, but asking for forgivness AGAIN!

                                                                                                                                      I have been struggling with sexual sin since I became a Christian, and I believe I will continue to sin until I pass on from this life, BUT, this in no way indicates that a sinful life is okay!

                                                                                                                                      GOD created sex to strengthen the bond between husband and wife, and for “them” to produce children within the framework of a Christian environment. It is not a sin to desire sex, but it is a sin to use sex incorrectly… such as lust,porn,articles,imagining,intercourse,masturbation,etc. outside of the union of marriage. I believe the desire for sex can be of the flesh and/or of the Spirit. The “flesh desire” for sex is rooted in selfishness, control, release, attention from lack of self worth, anger, insecurity, stress, anxiety, wanting to satisfy the other person for fear of rejection or loss of the relationship, wanting to strengthen the relationship before the GOD-given time, etc.. The “Spirit desire” for sex is rooted in selflessness, love, peace, joy, faith, confidence,…basically everything that is opposite of the flesh desires. SO, we must constanly check ourselves to evaluate if our desires are of the Spirit or the Flesh. Now, I know this seems obvious, but Christian singles of any age should only be living or/and courting in the Spirit until and throughout marriage!! What this means is that even though you are married, you both must be still keeping yourself living in the Spirit and not the flesh….can you say adultrey or divorce??

                                                                                                                                      I know all to well of the tempting circumstances, the stressful situations, the lonley or boring times, the pressure from others doing what they want, being the only one not having sex, which IS the exact time that I myself get weak and then succumb to the flesh desires!! But why?? Because I lost my focus “in the Spirit”!!! It’s not because I wasn’t busy enough, or not reading the Bible enough, or because the other person is just so attractive!! When I succumb to the desires of the Flesh, it’s because I feel sorry for myself, or I don’t rely on the strength of the Spirit, or I think I’ve been good enough for a long time, or I just want to feel good and escape the fight of faith for a while.

                                                                                                                                      To be truthful…I’ve sexually sinned 30 minutes after Church, 10 minutes after reading the Bible, an hour after Bible study, BUT WHY…..because I am focused on ME and not GOD!!!

                                                                                                                                      So, all of us need to get on our knees BEFORE the “flesh desire” rears its sinful-temtping head, because it’s obvious that we feel guilty afterwards, but yet we don’t really do much beforehand….

                                                                                                                                      Also, knowing that the other person loves YOU enough to wait till YOUR married is a HUGE foundation of trust in each other and most importantly with your relationship with GOD as one.

                                                                                                                                      P.S. I am getting on my knees right after I submit this.

                                                                                                                                      GOD BLESS

                                                                                                                                      • J.S

                                                                                                                                        Bry,

                                                                                                                                        You SAID it right,

                                                                                                                                        “Walk in the Spirit, and YOU WILL NOT gratify the desires of the sinful nature.” Gal 5:16

                                                                                                                                        Yet easier said than done. Bry he or she got it so right, it’s all about your focus, sinful lust is focused on self fullfillment while godly love is focused on how you can please Him, and you can only please Him when you walk in the Spirit.

                                                                                                                                        Keeping yourself pure…

                                                                                                                                        “In view of God’s mercy . . . offer your body as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship.” Romans 12:1

                                                                                                                                        …is actually TRUE WORSHIP! View it as such, don’t see temptation as a painful time when you must deny yourself of carnal fullfillment, view temptation as an opportunity to love and worship God, and so with joy offer yourself to God and rejoice because you have been given the priviledge to honor him with your body, mind and heart.

                                                                                                                                        “”If you love me, you will obey what I command. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever— the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him.”
                                                                                                                                        John 14:15-21

                                                                                                                                        You are all children of God through faith in Jesus Christ, you have been born of the Spirit, you are a New Creation, you have God on the inside living in you and you live in Him, you are His temple, His house, your spirit has union with His Spirit, walk pure so that you can keep in step with Him, not just sexually but in every area, God has great plans for us, don’t allow yourself to be cheated out of his perfect will.

                                                                                                                                        BUT if you stumble RETURN to Him immidiately, HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH, YOU HAVE NO IDEA, IF YOU COULD ONLY SEE, if you mess up HE DOESN’T HATE YOU, just keep trying, check your heart, we all stumble, we all feel like the worst of sinners BUT WHERE THERE IS SIN GOD’S GRACE SUPER-ABOUNDS. Grace to cover you, grace to heal you and grace to give you strength to resist temptation and it all starts by changing the way you think about these things and by believing that you do have the power to conquer all things.

                                                                                                                                        • Philly anonymous, please

                                                                                                                                          I am proud to be a Christian but struggle with this as well. My biggest issue is that I am totally disabled and have been for a few years. I have fully accepted the Lord but have trouble reading the Bible I’d like to hear Scripture instead and simply don’t have many Christian influences around me. Here is the truth: and I hate to say this even anonymously… I used to absolutely love sex with my ex-wife and I masturbated very much excessively as a young kid teenager and early adulthood. I was only with a couple women before a horrible accident took away my ability to ejaculate. Now I struggle with a few sexual thoughts and behavior, sometimes it actually feels like I’m going crazy and I pray that God understands. I just wish we could ejaculate one last time for the experience. Pretty hard to explain and very embarrassing, but I love God and confess this in the name of Jesus. Thank you and I hope you understand

                                                                                                                                          • Seeking an answer

                                                                                                                                            Hello, I have been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years. We havent had sex and plan on waiting until marriage, but we still sin in other ways. It is just so hard having been together for 5 years and saying no to those feelings. I recently have been getting these werid feelings about if I should be with him or not. I don’t know if they are from God and I am afriad to ignore them. It is just every time I get them they make me feel so depressed and afraid. I really love my boyfriend and don;t want to end it. but I don’t konw how else to get rid of the feelings. Is it God? Is there a way to save this relationship and still stay pure. We are both christians very much in love, he just wants to wait until after college to get married. I am afraid I stay out of temptation that long. Help? Advice?

                                                                                                                                            • jacob

                                                                                                                                              Hi. Me and my girlfriend are at 2nd base. I don’t want to be at second base.. I want to go back to normal kissing. I need an accountability buddy that will stick with me until we are ready to get married. I want an accountability buddy that will not rebuke me like their better than me. I do not do the good thing I want to do, but I do the wrong thing that I do not want to do-Romans 7:19. You deserve to go to hell too, so don’t come at me judging me. Just help me. I have asked for help before online and the guy stopped emailing me or caring. I want someone that will be my friend for 2 years

                                                                                                                                              • Grace

                                                                                                                                                So I just stumbled across this site…quite thankful I did. I am a Christian I cant even say I fell in to sexual sin I knowingly walked right into it. I went through a period of rebellion and got into a none committed sexual relationship with a friend. After almost a year I couldn’t stand my life without Jesus anymore and I wanted all my mess ups to go away. I went and confided in a friend and my pastors wife. Then going on their advice I went to talked to the ex who was my very dear friend and told her. My name and sin got spread around my church. I loved my church it was home and safe and now a year later, I am still struggling with the sexual relationship, and because of the shame of what I did being spread around my church I can’t stomach to go. I feel defeated before I even get out of the gate. I know God can give me strength to get this relationship out of my life but I feel so alone and I am so afraid to talk to anyone now because of what happened when I did. I feel blind sided, chewed up and spit out and I dont know where to turn.

                                                                                                                                                • Long-term struggle

                                                                                                                                                  Hey, I’ve been struggling with sexuality issues since I was at least 10. I know people think that that’s crap, but whether I was just an early bloomer or what idk, I just know that’s the way I am. While I’ve never had sex, masturbation is a big issue for me. I discovered it at a very young age, like I said, and at the time I wasn’t exactly sure what it was or if it was wrong. I just knew I felt a little weird after, and as time went on I started feeling more and more guilty. However, I’m a very sexual person, and even though I’ve been trying to stop and have been successful in decreasing, SIGNIFICANTLY, the frequency I masturbate, I’ve not succeeded in fully stopping. I know it’s wrong, and I know I want to quit, it’s just that every now and again it’s like the desire to overwhelms me and I can’t fight it very well. I only recently told a counselor about this, but idk if once-a-week sessions will be enough. I feel like I need accountability somewhere, but I’m too embarrassed to tell anyone, and I don’t really have a mentor to help me with it. I’m in my early 20’s now, so this is really a set behavior and has been very hard to break. Any advice? Please don’t just tell me it’s wrong or chuck scripture at me, I already am fully aware of that fact…or I wouldn’t be trying to quit. Thanks!

                                                                                                                                                  • simon

                                                                                                                                                    Hi,
                                                                                                                                                    I hope someone can help me. I was introduced to “that stuff” at a very early age and have been struggling with for a long time. Sometimes I am able to stop for a while but it eventually comes back and I struggle again. I am early 20’s and ive had 5 accountability partners all of which have failed to keep me axcountable. Now I can’t blame sin on them but how can I come back a second time and ask for accountability again. I just started a paid position at my church and am really struggling at the moment. Please someone help me, I am in tears and can’t stand it anymore. Sometimes I just wish Jesus would take me away from all this struggle. Sometimes I wish I could end my struggle myself. Please someone help me, I don’t know what to do anymore. Someone please help me!

                                                                                                                                                    • nishka

                                                                                                                                                      i wasnt always a christian, and i did some ungody activities before. nevertheless i overlooked that asked God for forgiveness and forgive myself. its now been 6 months since am saved. And its been a HARD JOURNEY. recently i find myself doing the things i used to do before i got saved, and its heart breaking cause i know its unfair to God. And i know it is of no good to me yet still i continue, i want to stop but its hard to… I haven’t been to church in 4 weeks cause i have been walking with these guilts… i am happy for this blog, seeing God’s people reaching out to one another. PLEASE REMEMBER ME IN YOUR PRAYERS AS I REMEMBER YOU IN MINE… GOD BLESS YOU ALL

                                                                                                                                                      • mary

                                                                                                                                                        i am 42 years old and single. i desire to lead a good life. i have many friends but i have no trust in them. i am cheated by them.
                                                                                                                                                        i have no one to share my feelings. afraid to say. i am finding difficult to overcome my sexual feelings. i need your concern to overcome my feelings.

                                                                                                                                                        • Jewell

                                                                                                                                                          I have prayed for all of you to find peace. Jesus does not condem you. Romans 8. So stop feeling Guilt and Shame!!! Because Grace is how we live: not by works of the flesh. which masterbation is it is natural and differs with individuals. It is a part of living in our temple; we were given this desire by God. Even Peter had to be Forgiven 3 times and He Abandoned Jesus in his greatest time of need. Yes we feel alone. But we are never truly alone.
                                                                                                                                                          Remember When God forgives HE remembers it no more. Your past is gone. Yes you are living a new life but in the same body and with the same mind set you have always had . Coming to Jesus /God is to be renewed by your mind transforming. This takes time, even when you fall back to old habits God is helping you. But only if you forgive your self and keep trying to do better each day, each hour, each minute of the present day you have because God is in your Present not your past and he knows when you will be free of your problems . You do not know the future but you know who holds it. His eye is on the sparrow is a good hymn to listen to.
                                                                                                                                                          Using the bible verse In My Weakness Christ is Strong helps when the pressure is greatest. To know that your weak, poorly displined, and evil self can be overcome by Jesus and He uses it to fight evil.
                                                                                                                                                          May His Grace be with you,
                                                                                                                                                          Paul suffered as we suffer with a sin/thorn that God did not remove. So if God askes you to live with it he gives you permission to have it (addition to anything, physical and mental limitations) Becaues IN OUR WEAKNESS!!!!! Jesus is STRONG!!!!!.
                                                                                                                                                          The truth is religion made a mountian out af a mole hill in their theoligical crap. so use the faith of amustard seed trust in God not how you feel know he understands. Jesus lived as a man.

                                                                                                                                                          • Amazing Grace

                                                                                                                                                            Hello to everyone!
                                                                                                                                                            My name is Jules and I am a born-again Christian, I saw Simon and ‘struggle’ s comments and i wanted to let you guys know that If you wanna chat to someone going through a similar thing let me know! I would be glad to pass on my email details and we can pray for each other and encourage each other in the everyday struggles. To Simon, I know how you feel, I find it even harder been a girl, usually girls arent percieved in that way and it’s a daily struggle, failed yesterday but today will try to be strong!
                                                                                                                                                            Gomme a shout whenever.
                                                                                                                                                            God bless.
                                                                                                                                                            x

                                                                                                                                                            • sharon

                                                                                                                                                              Im so pleased to come across this site. I have had many sexual partner, im 26 now and want to do the right thing.
                                                                                                                                                              I have sex to feel wanted and loved. People look at me as innocent and some of my close friends are surprised at my behavior.
                                                                                                                                                              All ive ever wated is to meet the right one, fall in love and get married. I fell in love with a christian guy for three years and we nearly got married but couldnt because he lived so far away.
                                                                                                                                                              That hurt me, and now i try to find someone, but am getting ti so wrong. I try to be good and not engage in sexual activity, but land up giving in to tempatation.
                                                                                                                                                              The worst thing is, i said sorry to God four weeks ago and promised him I wouldnt sin again and then these guys wanted to meet me out the blue and i broke my promise. ive never felt guilt like this before, especially breaking thepromise. I almost give up on myself, I will ask for is forgiveness again but dont know what to do. I like the verse where it talks about stying clsoe to everything lovely, and good, i know we have to be in this world but maybe limiting my exposure to film, music that make you have impure thoughts will help me. Please help!!

                                                                                                                                                              • TSR

                                                                                                                                                                I feel so horrible, shameful, guilty. A few years back I was in a “weekend fling” with someone, it lasted maybe 3 weeks. He called one day and said he went to his Dr. and was told he had a STD, And he wanted me to see my Dr. to be sure I am ok. I will say it was considerate of him to call and tell me. I went to my Dr and got a checkup, I did not have a STD, I was fine. I thank God. and from then on, I stopped the fling and told my self no more, God’s Grace was with me and promised I would act on sexual impurity anymore. Well, very recently I was hanging out with someone I met. Said no in begining, sometime later after not talking in a while, we met up, and I knowingly stepped into sexual sin. Afterwards, I went home and even now I feel so shameful, guilty, awful, and fearful, I know God forgives and will never leave us, but I feel alone, and would he forgive me? I also am afraid this will affect my family, loveones, will my sin hurt them too and will they be punish? physically, mentally? I just feel I cant face God, Thank you for this site I hope someone can help me. Help us all who are struggling with same issues.

                                                                                                                                                                • Warren

                                                                                                                                                                  Dearest helpful Christian brothers and sisters,

                                                                                                                                                                  I am taking the first step by willingly using my name here so that I would not turn back to sin. Ever since I gave into curiousity 2 years back by accessing a pornography website, I have been hooked onto masturbation. I have recently turned from Buddhism to Christianity and realise how much this hurts God. I want to be an honour to God and not abuse earthly pleasures, but I always find myself lacking the willpower to do so. I have prayed the sinners prayer, prayed for forgiveness and tried other ways to stop myself from falling back into the pit, but I always find myself giving in. I have no idea what to do! Please help me!

                                                                                                                                                                  Utmost Regards,
                                                                                                                                                                  Warren

                                                                                                                                                                  • Not alone

                                                                                                                                                                    I am so thankful God brought me to this site. I thought I was all alone in this struggle for sexual purity. I can relate and have felt exactly the same way many of you have. Jesus saved me 3 yrs ago from my old life and gave me new life in Him, but I have fallen into sexual sin time after time. I have asked for forgiveness and do ok for a little while and then before you know it , I have fallen again. Last night I was planning to go see a guy that I am seeing with no intentions to have sex, infact I was praying before I went that the Lord would keep me strong and I was thinking of scriptures in my mind… Flee sexual imorality… the only thing is even though all of this… I did not flee, we had sex and the sad thing is the whole time Im thinking this is wrong, we should stop, God is seeing this right now and I didnt. Everytime this has happened I feel defeated, like how could God still love me, I feel filthy and disgusting. I sense my heart hardening and feel that I can not even ask for forgiveness, that Gods mercy has ran out for me. I look back and see that before giving into having sex God has provided me with chances to escape (there is a vs in the bible about that with evey temtation God will provide a way of escape) but I knowingly ignored those chances, and then I feel even worse, and I should! When I woke up this morning I felt emotionless and numb to my sin. I felt so alone, I know I am sinning against God and I need Him! I need Help! So I googled because I needed to know I wasnt the only one stuggling with this. I came acoss this site and tears streamed down my face as I read each comment, I can honestly say the Lord used each persons stuggle to bring me to my knees and confess my sin and ask God for forgiveness….. AGAIN. I also read a comment about confessing your sin to others so they can pray for you and you can be healed. To anyone who reads this I desparately need you to lift me up in your prayers! As I feel I can not even share this with my own family or my church family. It has been a terrible secret and a heavy burden. Thankyou to my brothers and sisters in Christ who understand and have given me words that I needed to read and words of encouragement. So Im leaving this vs: Romans 8:38-39 And I am convinced that NOTHING can ever separate us from God’s Love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today, nor our worries about tomorrow- NOT EVEN THE POWERS OF HELL CAN SEPARATE US FROM GOD’s LOVE. No power in the sky above or the earth below-indeed nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God which is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

                                                                                                                                                                    • Richard C. August

                                                                                                                                                                      First of all, I am sick and tired of reading about and hearing about all these Christian dating sites, as well as church and para-church ministries pushing for marriage, family, and children.

                                                                                                                                                                      Does anyone not read Matthew 19, where Jesus Christ says that some men are born eunuchs, some are made eunuchs at the hands of men, and some become eunuchs for the sake of the Kingdom of God?

                                                                                                                                                                      What about those of us Christians whom, for whatever reason, can not marry or date or maintain a romantic relationship? Is your only response that you will pray for us? Where are effective ministries for single Christians who cannot effect a dating or romantic relationship? Why are so many singles ministries plugged up with people who are so undesirable that the singles ministry is their only family outside of blood relatives? WHERE IS THE SUPPORT OF CHRISTIANS WHO SAY WE HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF HAVING MARRIAGE AND DATING AND FAMILY SHOVED DOWN OUR THROATS, ONLY TO HAVE THOSE WHO CANNOT MARRY TREATED LIKE PIECES OF FLOTSAM?

                                                                                                                                                                      • Caris

                                                                                                                                                                        prayer or faith without action is dead. I’m strugglin with dis sin too but i knw keepin myself occupied with oda things of interest can really help (it’s helpin me). Find good n motivatn frends you can spend quality time wit, develop new hoppies, find things dat make you happy like shoppin, dressin up, bakin, cookin or host of others. Find out you talent and gifts n be the best in smtin. idleness most times lure us to sin. task ur brain….dnt let sin be d only tin dat gives u pleasure

                                                                                                                                                                        • Eko

                                                                                                                                                                          Im strugglin wit de same sin and i feel guilty anytym i commit it…but the problem is i cant help myself…i feel so cheap and think God aint gon forgive me nomore…i cant talk to anyone even my boyfriend..im tired of fornicating and i reali need help

                                                                                                                                                                          • Terri

                                                                                                                                                                            You people think you got it bad, ha! I’m a sssssinner saved by grace. I was a dealer in the MS casinos for 13 years, I’m a homosexual, I was a drunk for most of my life, experimented with drugs, smoked, cheated on my partner, stole, lied, took peoples money for fun, exploited their fears and pretended I cared about them, negative, hateful, cynical, rebellious against any form of authority, especially cops. But I gave my heart to Jesus when I was very young and deep inside in the midst of my sinful life I knew I had a calling and it wouldn’t leave me alone, it nagged at me and convicted me continually until I could no longer drown it out. Thank God he has delivered me from my sin and given me a whole new existance. I still have to keep my eyes on Jesus though because Satan is out there just waiting on a chance to drag me back down to hell. It is a fight people but with God we are more than conquerors. Don’t let the lies of Satan defeat you again, rebuke him anytime he trys to tell you its too late, or you’re too bad or not good enough, if its a feeling of condemnation its from Satan, not God, rebuke it out loud so the devil can hear you. don’t fear him, he is already defeated thanks to what Jesus did at the cross. And after you rebuke him out loud, repeat this scripture out loud, God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7 With love to all my brothers and sisters in Christ.

                                                                                                                                                                            • Mario

                                                                                                                                                                              hey well I’m Mario and I’m just lost one second I;m on a spiritual high the next I’m having sex and i feel so wrong and broken every time,but i keep falling into sin!Sometimes i wonder if I’m even saved….it just brings so much hurt and i pray and i pray but i cant change.

                                                                                                                                                                              • janet

                                                                                                                                                                                I am a christian but since 9 years ago I fell into sin a lot of times watching ponography and masturbating. I experience impure thoughts like an addiction, whan wautching pornography and masturbating

                                                                                                                                                                                Sometimes I feel selfish and want so bad to break from sexual immorality. but had a little relapse with my hormones raging again. I had an impure thought and got turned on. When I stopped for 1 minute I began to cry soooooo hard cause I felt God’s voice in my head saying “Janet why are you doing this? Please fight this I love you.”

                                                                                                                                                                                Jesus suffered enough for us on the cross and the blood that he shed on the cross paid our debt. So I want to bless everyone who is struggling with sexually impure thoughts right now. My prayers are with you and the lost. Amen.

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