Thinking about dating a friend? Should I confess to my crush? But should friends date? A Christian single guy wrote us asking if it’s a good idea if best friends to date one another. So what do you think? Should friends date each other? I know the cynical among us may agree with that line from When Harry Met Sally, “that a man and a woman can’t really be just friends.” But that’s the topic of another article. Let’s get back to the issue of whether or not friends should date.
Navigating the world of dating can be a complex journey, particularly when it involves Christian single friends. The decision to date within a close circle of friends can have both positive and negative implications. In this post we will explore the pros and cons of Christian single platonic friends who decide to pursue romantic relationships, shedding light on the various aspects that must be considered in such situations.
Dating a Friend-No Easy Answers
One of the driving forces behind friendship dating is the saying that “the best of friends make the best of lovers.” Yes, there are no easy answers here. But if you are planning to take the plunge and date a friend, you should at least be mindful of the following:
Pros of Christian Single Friends Who Date
- Established Trust and Friendship
One significant advantage of Christian single friends dating is the foundation of trust and friendship they already share. Being friends first allows the couple to have a deeper understanding of each other’s personalities, values, and beliefs, strengthening their connection and creating a strong basis for a romantic relationship.
- Common Values and Beliefs
When Christian friends choose to date, they likely share similar values and beliefs, which can foster a sense of spiritual compatibility. Having a shared faith can be a powerful bond that supports both individuals in their spiritual growth and encourages them to seek God together.
- Emotional Support System
Dating within a circle of Christian friends can create a built-in emotional support system. The couple can lean on their mutual friends for advice, encouragement, and prayer as they navigate the ups and downs of their relationship. This support network can be especially valuable during challenging times and can contribute to the overall health of the relationship.
- Shared Community and Interests
Christian single friends who date often participate in the same church activities, Bible studies, and community events. This shared involvement can strengthen their bond and provide opportunities for them to serve together, deepen their connection, and share their faith with others.
- Deepening Understanding of Commitment
When Christian friends transition into a dating relationship, they are already accustomed to spending time together, celebrating milestones, and supporting one another. This understanding of commitment can facilitate a smoother transition into a more serious relationship, fostering a sense of security and stability.
Cons of Christian Single Friends Who Date
- Risk of Jeopardizing the Friendship
One of the most significant concerns about dating among Christian singles friends is the potential risk of jeopardizing the existing friendship. If the romantic relationship does not work out, it may be challenging to return to the same level of company they once had. This can lead to feelings of awkwardness, hurt, and even the loss of a valued friendship. If things do work out, your platonic friendship (which does have unique benefits) has moved to a different level. So you need to contemplate whether you’re willing to risk that great present friendship for uncharted waters that may lead to disaster.
- Emotional Turmoil
Dating can bring emotional highs and lows, and when friends are involved, the stakes can be even higher. If the relationship encounters difficulties or ends, the emotional turmoil may extend beyond the couple, impacting the entire friend group and potentially causing division. Additionally, while you may actually love that girl or guy, there is always the possibility of unrequited love. When your friend has different expectations than you do, dating that friend is probably a bad idea from the get-go.
- Temptation and Boundaries
Intimacy and attraction are natural components of romantic relationships. Christian single friends who date must navigate the challenge of maintaining physical and emotional boundaries to uphold their commitment to purity before marriage. Failing to set and adhere to clear boundaries can lead to spiritual and emotional consequences.
- Pressure from the Community
Dating within a close-knit Christian community can subject the couple to increased scrutiny and expectations. Friends and fellow church members may have strong opinions about the relationship, which can add pressure to the couple’s decision-making process and put a strain on their connection.
- Limiting Other Potential Relationships
By focusing on a romantic relationship with a friend, both individuals may unintentionally close themselves off to other potential relationships. This can be especially concerning if the friendship-turned-romance doesn’t work out in the long run, potentially hindering their openness to explore other God-ordained partnerships.
Overall, please don’t get the idea that we are dissing dating a friend. We are not. If things go well, dating a friend can be one of the most exciting and thrilling things to happen in a relationship. While some friends who date are ideal soul mates for each other, most of these relationships do not last. Just be willing to count the cost.
The decision of Christian single friends to date is a complex one, with both pros and cons to consider. While the foundation of trust, shared values, and emotional support can enhance the relationship, the risk of jeopardizing a valued friendship, emotional turmoil, and pressure from the community should not be underestimated. As with any dating situation, prayer, discernment, and open communication are vital components to navigating this journey effectively.
Christian single friends who decide to date should approach the process with humility, a commitment to preserving their friendship, and a focus on seeking God’s will. By placing their relationship in God’s hands and relying on His guidance, they can find clarity and peace in their decision, regardless of the outcome. Ultimately, the key is to maintain an unwavering commitment to God’s principles, fostering a relationship grounded in faith, love, and mutual respect.
Have something to share about dating friends?
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.