Masturbation and Christian Singles | Christians Who Masturbate

Masturbation and Christian Singles | Christians Who Masturbate

Masturbation and Singles
Masturbation and Christian Singles

Let’s talk about Masturbation and Christian singles. The M-word and Christian singles.  Masturbation and single Christians. Single Christians who masturbate.  Male masturbation. Female masturbation. Adolescent masturbation. Chronic masturbation. Christian Singles and Masturbation. I think you get the picture.

There are many Christian single guys who masturbate. There are many Single Christian girls who masturbate. Are you a single person who masturbates?

masturbation and Christian singles  Questions

I have gotten hundreds of emails and many comments on our site from Single Christians wanting to know about masturbation.  In fact, based on the responses we get, single Christians seem more fixated on the topic of Masturbation than any other. Why is this the case? It could be because most pastors appear to avoid straight talk about masturbation at all costs. This is a little ironic, to say the least, when survey after survey reveals a majority of married and single Christians of all different ages (guys and gals) masturbate and suffer intense guilt over it.

Here are just a few of the questions Christian singles of all ages have asked us about masturbation:
-What does the Bible say about masturbation?
-Is it a sin to masturbate?
-Is it okay for a single person to masturbate?
-Is it ok to masturbate as a Christian?
-Can married couples practice masturbation?
-Why do I feel guilty after masturbating?
-If I masturbate without lustful thoughts is ok?
-How do I stop masturbating as a Christian?

The Bible and Masturbation: Understanding from a Single Christian’s Lens

Navigating the waters of masturbation as a single Christian is a sticky issue that requires discernment, understanding, and a genuine quest for truth. While the Bible doesn’t mention the act of masturbation directly, it does provide guiding principles on sexual purity and self-control. This section dives into what the Scriptures indirectly teach on the subject, and how a single Christian can understand this within the broader context of biblical sexuality.

The Absence of Direct Mention

First and foremost, it’s essential to understand that the Bible does not explicitly mention masturbation. Therefore, any perspective is derived from broader biblical principles surrounding sexual behavior and desires.

Sexual Morality and Purity

The Bible emphasizes sexual purity in several scriptures. For instance, 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 states: “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God.”

Here, the focus is on avoiding sexual immorality and controlling one’s body honorably. While masturbation isn’t directly mentioned, the idea is to manage one’s sexual desires in a manner aligned with God’s teachings.

Lustful Fantasies

Jesus addresses the topic of lust in Matthew 5:28, saying, “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” If masturbation is accompanied by lustful fantasies or consumption of pornography, it can be seen as conflicting with Jesus’ teachings about lust.

Self-Control and Mastery Over the Body

Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 9:27, “But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.” This scripture underscores the importance of self-control and mastery over one’s desires.

Grace and Personal Conviction

Romans 14 speaks about personal convictions and not causing another to stumble. It suggests that individuals may have personal convictions that others do not share. A single Christian might feel convicted that masturbation is not right for them, while another may not feel the same way. It’s essential to be sensitive and not impose personal convictions on others.

Seeking Guidance and Wisdom about Masturbation

For single Christians grappling with the question of masturbation:

  1. Prayer: Seeking God’s guidance through prayer can provide clarity and peace about personal decisions.
  2. Biblical Counseling: Speaking with trusted Christian counselors,  spiritual leaders or mentors can offer wisdom based on the scriptures.
  3. Community: Engaging in open, non-judgmental discussions with fellow believers can provide insights and different perspectives.

Masturbation and Christian Singles Struggles

As a Christian single, just what are your feelings about masturbation? Are you a masturbator? Do you struggle because you feel it is morally wrong? Do you live in guilt and confusion over the whole issue?

Personally, I can’t stand it when Christian teachers and churches are so dogmatic on the “rights” and “wrongs” of masturbatory activities because it’s such a complex issue, with many different contingencies connected to the practice. So I’ll try to leave my preaching in the pulpit as I hand out from my heart some observations about masturbation and Christians who practice it. I’ll also be sharing some Scriptures in conjunction with what we already wrote about above to help guide you through this sensitive, sticky issue.

Masturbation and Christian Singles Observations

  1. Masturbation in the Bible. The Bible is silent on the specific issue of masturbation even though the vast majority of humankind is preoccupied with it.
  2. The Roman Catholic Church, some Protestant denominations, and even Webster’s Dictionary have attempted to equate the sin of Onan (Genesis 38:6-10) with masturbation, but a simple exegesis of these passages precludes this possibility. You see, under Jewish law, a person was required to procreate with his brother’s widow. When Onan refused out of selfishness, the Lord killed him. The bottom line here? God did not whack Onan for whacking off, but rather for “spilling his seed” by ejaculating outside of his dead brother’s wife during sexual intercourse.
  3. Many Christian singles and not a few Christian pastors feel masturbation to orgasm is acceptable in order to: 1) relieve unabated sexual tension, and/or 2) avoid sexual immorality. The catch is that there should be no lustful thoughts connected to the act.
  4. Regarding masturbation and Christian singles, the vast majority of single Christians feel that compulsive masturbation, simply for the purpose of self-gratification, is always wrong. Most would also agree that habitual masturbation while single will make it harder for any future spouse to please them sexually.

Notwithstanding the above points, let the following paraphrased verses guide you, a single person as you pray and seek the Lord over whether masturbating should have any room in your life as a single person:

  • Matthew 5:28– Looking lustily at a woman (or a man if you’re a woman) means you are committing adultery in your heart.
  • 1 Corinthians 6:12- All things are lawful for you, but not all things are profitable.
  • 1 Corinthians 6:19,20– Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, and so you should glorify God with it.
  • 1 Thessalonians 4:4,5– You should learn to control your body in a holy and honorable way, not in passionate lust like the heathens.
  • 2 Peter 2:19– You are a slave to whatever has mastered you.
  • James 4:17– If you know you should do something, but fail to do it, it’s sin.

If you are a Christian who is really beating yourself up over the issue of masturbation or are struggling with sexual impurity, remember that Jesus offers forgiveness (1 John 1:9) and loves you where you are. Repent and move on in peace! Also, consider the words of James Dobson of Focus on the Family regarding masturbation and Christian singles:

“It is my opinion that masturbation is not much of an issue with God. It does not cause disease. It does not produce babies, and Jesus did not mention it in the Bible. I’m not telling you to masturbate, and I hope you won’t feel the need for it. But if you do, it is my opinion that you should not struggle with guilt over it.”

singles and masturbation final thoughts

Masturbation, from a single Christian’s perspective, remains a nuanced topic due to its indirect mention in the Bible. The key is to approach the subject with humility, seeking understanding from the scriptures, and being open to God’s guidance. While the Bible provides foundational principles on sexual morality, it’s up to each believer to interpret and apply these teachings to their personal journey with grace and discernment.

So what are your thoughts on masturbation and Christian singles?

Related to Masturbation and Christian Singles:

Sex Sin in Christian Singles

Am I a Sex Addict?

Christian Dating Advice


    • Jami

      What if masturbating leads a person to later on become more unlikely to say no in a dating relationship? They’ve already “felt” something that they think is similar to the real thing and decide that they want to feel it for real. Aren’t it the little weeds that ruin a beautiful garden?

      And doesn’t it mean that you are technically not really a virgin for the sake of marraige!? Isn’t that the point of abstinence! To save that beautiful possession for the marraige bed and the marraige bed only!?

      Take it from someone who knows…the guilt IS there. I’m not perfect and I have committed acts of masturbation in the past. And afterwards I felt completely guilty…the same way I would if I had lied…and lying is a sin is it not? I felt like God was displeased! And that’s a horrible and dangerous feeling.

      Read Psalm 101 if you need further help. David said that he would be careful to lead a blameless life and reject perverse ideas. Sex outside of marriage is perverse so the very idea of sex with self should be just as perverse I think.

      I’m not trying to condemn. I’m just seriously trying to make sense of why masturbation wouldn’t be considered a type of sexual sin??

      • niteowl22

        The bad thing about masturbation is that an orgasm was meant to be shared in marriage as a culmination of two people coming together(no pun intended)and masturbation actually twists that by isolating a person sexually. And as far as masturbating without thinking lustful thoughts–good luck!

        • Somebody

          I am glad that I found this website that deals with the whole area of masturbation and Christian singles. I thank the author that understands Christian singles’ struggles as a single but yet have to cope with the natural biological sexual desire feelings that will come every month especially after menstrual period or when you are relaxed (which sexual desire is given by God to us human beings), that masturbation seems to be one effective way to relieve unabated sexual tension.

          thanks so much!

          • FedUp

            ugh, I just wish I could have all of my hormones AND sexual organs removed. then I would just go to work and church, spend my money on bare necessities and give every cent that’s left to the church, then die and go to heaven.

            • Name witheld

              For the past fifteen years of marriage I never thought of masturbation. Its now almost two years since I,m started practicing again without the knowledge of my wife. Of course sometimes my wife refuse to have sexual intercourse that leads me to practiced it more frequently. And also I’m finding pleasure in masturbation. Is it okay to continue, I need your advise please.
              (Please don’t publish name email etc.)

              • Confused

                I love to masturbate! I do it almost everyday. The problem is, it is almost like an addiction. I wonder if I should stop. Also, I wonder if it makes one gay. I would very much appreciate any insight as to whether masturbation is bad, and if it can cause you to be gay.

                • CC

                  About masturbation: I don’t think masturbation is bad as long as you do not commit adultery by it, don’t obsess over it, and don’t watch porn. Porn is bad.
                  Umm, too confused: No, masturbation cannot make you gay. There is absolutely no evidence of a connection between the two, and probably never will be. I encourage you to look at the medical community’s standpoint on this issue as well; you can get information from the anatomical standpoint as well as the spiritual.

                  • DarkPa1adin

                    IMO, what makes a sin a sin? how about masturbation?
                    What’s the difference between habitually and once in a blue moon masturbation?

                    I believe the root cause of masturbation is due to the lack of faith as well as allowing the mind to idle and thus become perverse in thoughts then leads to masturbation.

                    Even for my unbelieving friends, they confessed that when they are busy with purposes to fulfill, job objectives to meet, they will not think the least of masturbation or anything about sex.

                    The fact that naturally we have all these hormones doesn’t negate masturbation from becoming not a sin. *aren’t we born naturally in sin? read Psalm 51 “in sin did my mother conceive me”

                    Although in the bible, there isn’t any explicit Thus saith the LORD with regards to the issue of masturbation. consider the case of if this act being revealed publicly, will it bring shame to Jesus Christ or will it glorify him? more of the shame than glory. Which is why i cannot accept the fact that it isn’t any less than a sin.

                    • OvejaNegra

                      regarding masturbation: Christians can be very contradictory.

                      Sex is not a sin, but don’t think on sex.

                      And yes i’m a christian.

                      PD: sorry for the english, i dont’t speak english.
                      PD2: Jami: You see guilt when some one tells you there is guilt. It’s the FIRST time in +8 years of being Christian i hear about this, never in my life have i felt guilty about masturbation, but now i have doubt about masturbation and masturbating 🙁

                      The Bible does not help me here.
                      Try to be asexual? it’s impossible, hormones, desire, lust (in some ways) is there. The problem begins when you lose respect for other persons and for yourself.

                      • believer

                        masturbation in my opinion is a very tricky issue because there is a thin line between right and wrong and so you need the holy spirit to minister unto you so you know when your right and when your wrong .i believe that if you feel the urge to masturbate do so if you know you are going to fall into further sin .Do not look at porn and then go and masturbate that simply means you are submitting to porn and God says we are over comers we are not honouring God with our eyes . GOOD LUCK GUYS I NEEDED HELP ALSO

                        • Dean

                          I have struggled with masturbation for many years. My view is I don`t believe God wants us to greatly suppress the yearnings he has instilled in us. And masturbation is a way of release without giving into the burnings over someone and then winding up getting married to the wrong person, or worse yet compromising our values, self respect.

                          That’s why I have come to the conclusion that masturbation is OK as long as it does not become a habit and, (this being the hardest part) if you can (excuse the pun) pull it off without lustful thoughts. I don`t think we can and therefore, to me the lustful thoughts make masterbation a SIN. “FORGIVE MY LORD A SINNER”!

                          • skater guy

                            so how exactly could one go about even getting errect without a lustfull thought???

                            • LP

                              I am a 25 year old single girl who is following Christ. I have practiced masturbation since high school and have struggled with lust and sexual fantasies since early puppetry around age 9. I was raised in a solid Christian home with a near perfect childhood. There is nothing negative in my past or family history that explains why I was (and still am) so sexually aware or even somewhat obsessed. Absolutely no one knows that I struggle so much with this issue. Sometimes I get frustrated and wonder why God allows me to have such pent up sexual tension when He has given me no outlet (marriage) to expend that energy and passion. I do have mixed feelings about the whole subject, but I try not to beat myself up with guilt about it. It’s really hard to be single and guard your purity today. I’m not advising masturbation at all and I wish it was not in my life.

                              The biggest problem I have is in the fact that the more I masturbate the greater my sexual appetite seems to grow. Recently, I found myself in a relationship that was based primarily on chemistry. Though I did not have actual intercourse with him, we did stimulate each other to orgasm and shared in mutual masturbation. I blame my vast experience with masturbating for why I fell so quickly. I knew what to do to pleasure myself and him. Sadly, I admit that I was tired of always being a “good girl” and I wanted to prove to myself that I could be sexy. By technical standards I guess you would say I’m still a virgin, but by God’s standards I have sinned. I now regret every minute I spent in my ex’s bed. I broke off the relationship and repented. God has restored my spirit and renewed my purity, yet there are still consequences to my sin and memories I can’t seem to erase…. My advice to anyone reading this is simply to do whatever you can to get control over this whole issue before it’s leads you too far down a very slippery slope. I pray Christ will give us all the strength to overcome the sin in each of our lives. God bless

                              • burn-ice

                                wow in regard to masturbation, this is what i call being real guys. there is no greater way to dealing with an issue than talking about it and admitting its an issue.
                                truelly for most christians the “M” word is taboo. but i know we all have problems with it that why God’s grace is sufficient enough to save us all . And His love abounds forever.

                                Christ faced all the possible temptations any man could have faced and He overcame. to show us all that it is possible. and i know if any of us want to give up this act becuase it cost us. then we can do it. the holy spirit is our freind and present help. and all of us will have a testimony to share that will change peoples perceptions and views on this Topic.
                                WE ARE MORE THAN CONQUERORS……

                                • SINNER SAVED BY GRACE

                                  In regard to masturbation, this was so awesome to see so many people discussing this Taboo issue of masturbation. I am in the ministry a single 37 year old never been married man and i struggle with this issue. Masturbation brings me guilt and condemnation but I repent and i know that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Wow. this is very difficult but I know that the lord has a great wife in store for me and I have to trust and hold on. I don’t know many men, married or single who do not masturbate. We talk about it and we pray for one another. God is so much greater than this and i know that he will help us overcome. In the mean time. I will not guilt myself to death but go boldly to the throne of grace to ask for his forgiveness if by chance i mess up. We cannot allow Satan to have a foothold in our lives by !) getting us to masturbate and 2) making us feel like crap after we fall on or face. I am learning more and more that WE serve an awesome God. He will forgive us. we just have to ask amen. His love is unconditional.
                                  a sinner who struggles too.

                                  • jolene


                                    I am 29 going on 30, female,single and sexually frustrated to the point where i am going to pull my hair out. I can barely handle it. Usually It would happen now and again, but I have suffered this month..terribly. I dont know how to ‘live’ with this. i wish I felt nothing instead of this torture.

                                    • messed up again

                                      I have read all of the above posts, and the message I am getting is that masturbation is something that we will continue to struggle with. I’m sure it is possible to overcome, but I have been struggling with it and am tired of feeling guilty. I keep asking God each night how many more times he weill forgive me before he turns his face away form me. I’m tird of masturbating and feeling guilty. Is it possible to stop overall, and for God to forgive me even a hundredth time?

                                      • Same old, same old

                                        Wow, there are so many people who struggle with masturbation – and yes, because of how I feel and what masturbation does to me emotionally and spiritually I think it is indeed a sin. There are plenty of other sins that are not faced head on in the bible, and so my thinking is it’s an obvious sin and its also not too big an issue for God to handle.

                                        I want to relate to LP’s post above, same here, honey. I’m 26 and single and am waiting desperately for my husband! I’ve masturbated since being a very young child without really knowing what I was doing. My mum caught me masturbating a few times, and that was when I learnt it was ‘wrong’. I found it very hard to be ‘good’ with my boyfriends because of it, and found that in spite of their good intentions I would drive them crazy, even though I didn’t really understand what I was doing. I had sex with my last boyfriend. It was so easy because I felt just the same way when I masturbated and there’s always that feeling of ‘it’s so wrong, but it feels so good’.

                                        I finished with him because I couldn’t live with myself. I realised I need God more than I need sex, and I can’t live even one day if God isn’t in my heart. But somehow, masturbating is still an issue with me. Sometimes I can go for weeks at a time not even thinking about it, but then other times it keeps me awake at night. I try to resist and hold onto God, but if I resist one night, it comes back again and again stronger and stronger every time until I give in. That is what tells me, personally, it is a sin. It is an evil that seems like will never let me go. I have to have faith and trust in the almighty power of the living God that his arm is around me – the same arm that flung stars into space holds me unconditionally close and tight. He is faithful, and we all are in His hand, He knows us everyone, how we struggle and fight this. We have to set our faces like flint and press into the truth that He saves us to the uttermost.

                                        • Claire

                                          About masturbation, I’m a female, single, and 19 years old. I have never had a boyfriend, but ever since I became interested in boys during my first year of high school I realized that I was also very interested in sex and masturbation. I’m still a virgin, but struggle with a desire for sex daily. I was 14 when I started masturbating. I felt guilty about it, but when I tried to find it condemned in the Bible, there was no place where it was specifically mentioned. Its been a hard struggle for me not knowing whether masturbation was ok or not, yet I was always able to rationalize what I was doing. I want to live my life to please God and that becomes ever difficult when I allow anything else to be the master of me. Masturbation had become my other master I was unable to resist… or thought myself as such. However I believe what the bible says about not being able to serve two masters, and I’ve come to the conclusion that masturbation may not be a sin for all people, but for me it is. I liken myself to the man with a weaker faith in romans 14 although the situation is different. It is because know I will never be fully convinced in my mind that masturbation brings glory to God. I decided I must abstain from it to the Lord giving thanks to God. I failed in abstaining yesterday… but for the first time in a long time I was broken enough that I was able to tell my friend about my struggle against masturbation. She assured me that she thought no less of me for what I had done and still loved me and accepted me. I have realized that I let masturbation be a secret because of another sin: Pride. I didn’t want anyone to know because it would ruin their opinions of me. If anyone reading this is struggling with the issue of masturbation… you might want to see if it is causing you to sin in other areas of your life, such as pride or idolatry. It was for me, and one of the worst things about my situation is how isolated I’ve felt from friends and family… because I wouldn’t tell anyone. I may never feel able to tell my parents…. but I don’t want to keep it to myself anymore. 8/11/08

                                          • jamesL

                                            LP in regard to masturbation, if you confess your sin, He is faithful and just to forgive you and cleanse you of all unrighteousness. Don’t condemn yourself for something God doesn’t even know about anymore! You probably need to have a talk with your boyfriends, how far you think is alright during dating before things get that heated again. Work on the spiritual compatibility,first; then the mental/emotional compatibility. Wait on the marriage vows to explore sexual compatibility.
                                            If you read what “same old same old” wrote and what I wrote to Claire, I would suggest the same thing. The more you know about your sexual feelings before marriage, the more you’ll be able to share with your spouse. The more uninhibited and enjoyable will be your experiences together.

                                            • kaye

                                              If any of you are struggling with masturbation, check out It is truly a helpful website that helps people break free of the addiction. You can be set free through Jesus and his glory can transform you.

                                              • David

                                                saludos a todos con relacion a todo esto que hablaron es muy cierto en mi caso yo me masturbo pero no con mucha frecuencia. y cuando me masturbo es para sastifacer ese deseo enorme que llevo dentro mi no pienso en mujer no pienso en nada solo en masturbarme

                                                no se si estoy pegando contra Dios pero yo creo que en uno no pensando en mujeres o viceversa uno se puede masturbar porque habemos persona que usamos este medio para sastifacer la necesidad pero hay otro que lo usan para corromperse y caer en el pecado.

                                                • ty

                                                  For those who feel guilty about masturbation: There is such a thing about fake guilt. satan can twist our emotions to bring us farther from God, so we feel hopeless and turn away from God even if we didn’t do anything wrong.

                                                  • Rock

                                                    In regard to masturbation: There are so many unanswered questions and from the begining The evil one has twisted the truth starting with Eve who was not present at the time when God instructed Adam to his responsibilities to the rest of the creation. To make this simple it is like this: The evil one told Eve a twisted truth; You will be like God; “Knowing the difference from right and wrong”. The wrong: Masturbation; The right: Confess our sins; James 4:17. The wrong thing to do is to deny our sin, the right thing to do is to confess our sin. Knowing that confessing our sins brings forgiveness is knowing to do good.

                                                    • newhope4u Author

                                                      As we can see here, masturbation is a hot topic among Christian Singles, even tho churches are in large part avoiding such issues.

                                                      • Wedajon

                                                        I am a 22 years old male. I have not a girl friend. But I wish I had my first and last, i,e a wife. I am tempted by masturbation most of the time. Sometimes my sexual zeal and passion makes me crazy. I pray to live a life so much far from this but I can’t stay more than a month. Please give me your precious advice?

                                                        • Sexually Desiring & Frustrated

                                                          I am a 32 year old single male virgin who has had an off and on struggle with masturbation for many years now. When I was a teenager I would look at women in catalogs and magazines that my mom would keep in the bathroom and then rub myself through my underwear. Now at that time I didnt really understand what I was doing, other then it feeling good, because a subject like that was not mentioned in my Christian home or my strict Christian schooling. I stopped doing it for a long time after finding out what it was I was doing. (especially the lusting after the women part).

                                                          When I got into my 20s I would masturbate from time to time…but not that often because I wasnt sure if it was really a sin or not. But now I have really been wondering even more because the last year or two has been very difficult for me. Its like since I hit my early thirties my sex drive has jumped into overdrive and I have really had more of a need (and at times urge) to masturbate. At times I have had guilt for doing so and other times I have not, which has further complicated my thoughts on the issue. Plus the recent scientific studies by doctors that show that regular masturbation is a stress reducer (sexual, physical, and mental) and can help the prostate remain healthy and at less risk for prostate cancer.

                                                          Now I know that using lustful thoughts is wrong, but at times I have used them when masturbating, especially when I sex drive seems to be way out of control (which happens periodically) . But, believe it or not, I actually can masturbate without having lustful thoughts. In fact most of the times that I masturbate I have no lustful thoughts whatsoever, I focus solely on how Im doing it and the feeling it is giving me.

                                                          I also have a very good understanding of the Bible and I know that the Onan passage, which most bring up, was not about masturbation and that the Bible doesn’t specifically mention it. I also know that God has that someone special out there for me to spend the rest of my life, both sexual and otherwise, but I have yet to find her. In fact, Ive had a very difficult time finding any women…that aren’t already in a relationship…which further complicates my desires (both to be married and the sexual aspect it entails).

                                                          After reading this message, and people’s comments, and with my knowledge of the Bible and the scientific evidence, I am beginning to believe that as long as lust is taken out of the picture and you do not let the act of masturbation control you or your life then masturbation is not a sin.

                                                          • Greg

                                                            I understand where you are coming from, i had the same view untill recently.. i actually had accidentally discovered i could.. orgasm by doing pull ups… and hey.. its not lust right? Well, it wasnt lust, but it was sexual sin, and after i realized it, i stopped.. but then i fell into masturbation.. still without lusting.. but let me tell you something… i have never felt so separated from God then when i masturbated… God didnt design us with our own pleasure in mind, he designed us to give our bodies to our spouses, and he never meant for us to enjoy sex.. with ourselves, that’s hedonism..
                                                            -thanks.. Greg

                                                            • Elijah

                                                              Hey everyone,
                                                              Look im not trying to say one way or another, but im just fed up with my freaking issues about it…. i looked it up on the interent and everyone seems to be speaking 2 different things, Either “God gave us arms long enough” or ITS EVIL AND YOUR GOING TO HELL….. personally i feel very guilty about it after i do it… and im not perfect and im a 20 year old male who is a returning to christ backsliden chrstian who isnt a virgin anymore, and im on the road to recovery, its not easy to deal with matters like this…. i seriously just want help to know what to do…. people say its ok … however i dont believe it… and other people say its wrong… and to trust God completely… but its rediculas…. its a constant struggle… and i dont have much willpower….. 😛 lol…. not a good start 😀 …. honestly life would be so much easier if God hadnt given us these feelings till after we were married… Sometimes i hate every part about me that wants to break my self control…. and unfortunatly it manages to break alot…. can somone please give me an awnser…. im sick and tired of having no way out of this…

                                                              • David

                                                                To Elijah,

                                                                I’ve been reading The Game Plan by Joe Dallas that may offer some help. You might want to get your hands on it for some advice/guidance.

                                                                • Emmanuel

                                                                  I’m Emmanuel, and am almost 30, I have taken time to read what everybody have written so far. Masturbation”

                                                                  Masturbation can not be Over Ruled, Talking from its two view, the Biblical view and the Scientific View. It is True the Bible in Matthew 5:28 say’s anybody who look at a woman Lustfully have committed sex with her and is Guilty of Adultery, and that is a Sin. from my Idea, Masturbation is a Sin, because you most picture having sex with somebody while Masturbating, which is “Lustfully”.

                                                                  Then, the Scientist have taken time to study the Effects of Masturbation, they have Argued , that is has no Side Effect, and it prevent you from Embarrassment. This Might be true but the Question is what view are you Interested to follow, but whatever view you follow, remember…..”If your Conscience did not condemn you, then you are not Condemned”.

                                                                  I am also using this Opportunity to ask for friendship, I am deeply in need of a Christian Single Lady from Middle East Especially; Please if you are Interested, do write me through

                                                                  • Sheldon

                                                                    First I would love to thank the Author of this great passage; You and what you’ve posted means alot. Bless your heart.

                                                                    As a Christian, I would understand that masturbation is wrong, simply because it’s an act of sin. Prior to masturbation are sexual cravings which should be kept under subjection with the power and authority that God has given us over our minds and bodies.

                                                                    As Christians, it is only foolish to perform and try to justify acts of sin. But rather let us strive to stay Kingdom minded, not so attatched to fleshly desires.

                                                                    I love you all

                                                                    • Mc carson

                                                                      we all are sinners and need to realize that this masterbation issue is all because of that serpent SATAN who disgust me . we need to call on the Lord every time we get these urges or get ocupied with some sporting activity like kicking a ball or playing basket ball, running around etc. THANK GOD FOR BEING IN MY LIFE THAT I CAN CONTROL MYSELF AND COME TO HIM WHEN I NEED HELP AND GUIDANCE IN TROUBLE TIMES. I’m 17 years old and i’m very much experienced in many ways exsept sexually. OUR GOD IS AN AWESOME GOD!

                                                                      Love always,
                                                                      Mc carson Bledman
                                                                      Christian friend

                                                                      • Mckenzie

                                                                        Hey what up, I’m 18 in college and just left home, now i do feel sexually tempted but i’m still a virgin, but on the rare occasions that I tried to masturbate, I always felt ashamed or guilty afterwards and I was raied in a christian home. I think therefore that it must be wrong and that everytime we do so we are defiling our bodies with lust and impurity. However this doesn’t stop us from wanting 2 do it

                                                                        • MiMi

                                                                          I have had a hard time trying to come to terms with this. Ihave come across websites where itsaid masturbation was wrong and others where masturbation was okay but it was interesting how none of them have said,” Masturbation is right! Feel free to do it,” as the authors of the articles themselves feel guilty if they were to claim it as being right to do…There are times when I have fallen into the habit of masturbation and other times when I haven’t had a thought on my mind in months. But since I have moved to away and am living alone I began to do it more frequently. I think masturbation is a sin, but I also believe that it is only a sin when self-gratification and lustful thoughts are in mind. I have sinned through masturbating plenty of times and I know God has forgiven me for each encounter. I can say I am getting better.

                                                                          After reading the blogs I have noticed that through the years I have experienced most of what many of you have. I have masturbated because I lusted, I masturbated because I wanted to feel self graticifcation, and I have masturbated without either.

                                                                          I started to masturbate at the age of 9-10. I am now 20 years old, single and female. I recall waking up in the middle fo the night feeling really warm and moist in my genital area, wanting to find some sort of satisfaction, yet, I didn’t know what. It was like a self-discovery. It was like this part of me that was feeling different than what I remembered and I did not know why. I thought there was something wrong at first but figured my body must have done this on its own and I hadn’t done anything to provoke this so I figured it was okay. I can remember feeling myself and experimented with the touching and how things felt. I recall even smiling at what I was feeling and progressed to orgasm. And from then I told myself that I was for my husband and only he was the person responsible for satisfying me in this way. And mind you I had not come across any information about marriage of leaving and cleaving, or I hadn’t even known about what God said the resposiblities for a man and woman were in marriage. Come to think of it, the pastor of my church had never, to this day, spoken on the man and woman’s role in marriage and what type of relations were implied. My parents nor siblings had spoken of such things. But I can say that I was raised in a Christian home.

                                                                          I did this until almost high school when I found out that it may indeed be wrong. In my passport to purity class the topic of masturbation was not mentioned so I continued to wonder about the sin it may entail. But with my confusion I continued to do it. Feelings of guilt did rise and confusion continued to take its residence within me. I kept this a secret from everyone and still remain to. But I don’t believe I am the only one in my family to do so. I think it is just one thing that my parents believed it to be better left unsaid. I do think that it is a sin when done for selfish reasons which the majority of the reasons would be due to selfishness. I don’t believe I was being intentionally selfish when I first did it but a number of times after I would say I was being selfish. This is still a complicated subject in my mind. I still submit to masturbation when it is completely overwhelming to the piont where I lose sleep and focus. There are times when I masturbated so the I could simply carry on with my day.

                                                                          I have prayed to God about it and He says that for me it would be best to obstain from it and I have done well so far this past week or so. I have been talking to God about how anxious I am to get married and have someone to give myself to. Having sex with my husband and giving to him what he needs is something I would like to prepare myself for. I have told God about this problem and what I am aiming for. I asked God to help me in preparing myself for MY marriage. In my case, masturbation is a sin. I am prone to becoming enraptured in it.

                                                                          My Advice to yo would be to: Ask God what would be best for you to do. He’ll give you an aswer. If you would like me to pray for you in seeking an answer to this question I will be happy to.

                                                                          Go with God and He will guide you. Let us keep one another in our prayers! I love you all and come to God with your goals and aspirations for a life partner. He’ll stir you in the right direction. Trust Him to.

                                                                          • Still Questioning

                                                                            (PLEASE DO NOT PUBLISH E-MAIL ADDRESS)
                                                                            I too have struggled with masturbation for many years but it was only a year ago that I had lustful thoughts accompany the act. I feel certain that masturbation because of/during lustful thinking is a sin because in that way a person is taking and using the body of another that is not theirs.

                                                                            But masturbation without lustful thoughts (I have done that repeatedly)? Even after reading all these responses (bless you all) and others I still am at an impasse: can masturbation be used to glorify God, extolling Him with the pleasures of this Temple He has given me and providing me with release? Or is it a singular, selfish act, a feeling that is only meant to be shared between a man and wife?

                                                                            Human opinion will only serve to confuse me more, so I ask of anyone who reads this to please pray for me. Even if it is only once it will certainly help me. Thank you all.

                                                                            • Sosick

                                                                              Hey everyone!
                                                                              Ive read the majority if everyone’s opinions and suggestions and I still cant find the answer I’m looking for… I’m a 20yr old female virgin, soon to be wed and struggling with lustful sexual feelings/appetites. I dont know what to feel anymore. My fiance and I have recently accepted the Lord as our savior again, reconciled, and before this we used to masturbate each other. We’ve struggled a lot and I have noticed that I’m the passionate one. I want to stop any feelings or desires. But this week has been so hard. And I don’t feel anything, that’s what worries me. Sometimes I feel guilty but then there are times (like now) that I honestly don’t feel that masturbation is a sin. When I used to rub myself I wouldn’t think of no one it would just be done to satisfy nothing else. I really want to worship the Lord with all my heart and soul but Its hard to ignore these feelings. I want to give myself completely to God and sing to him with liberty not with guilty thoughts. Sometimes I feel distant and other times I just feel numb. I dont know what to feel anymore and I dont know how to react and what to do because I cant keep on asking and waiting for God to keep on forgiving me for the same thing. Sometimes I believe one day God will tell me he wont forgive me anymore. I ask that whoever reads this to plz pray for me and hopefully December will come soon so I can be happily married and forget about all of this. GODD BLESS!

                                                                              • Kavi

                                                                                Hi All. I’m a 23 year old “christian” female. I never ever imagined in the whole two years that I’ve struggled with masturbation that there are other young people facing the exact same issues. I’m a virgin, by definition, but it gets so hard at times…I havn’t really wanted to have sex out of personal choice even though I was presented with the opportunity,but when it comes to maturbation, it’s like a whole different force completely takes over all logic and sense. I love God, and I want to be clean, of this because it’s holding me back.It’s as though God refuses to remove this cup, I struggle with it dayly, there are weeks when it doesn’t bother me, because I’ve repented and I’m desperate for God’s forgivness, but than there are those days when it just takes over. It hurts so badly, cause I feel like I have no control over it…and it’s like i’m playing games with God, because I repent and ask for forgiveness and than a few days later i’m doing it all over again. I feel like I’m suffering from a terminal disease.The guilt is so immense and yet, I can’t stop myself.I really need help, because I recently feel the need to watch porn, to kinda get with the times, you know. I am the most terrible sinner and I hate myself for it, and yet it’s a cycle that dosn’t seem to end. I am so desperate right now, because temptation is looming…I wish that I could hold on to something, but I would die if anyone found out, because people see me as capable of no wrong, I want to scream out that I am the worst of sinners, and yet I can’t because I’m afraid of a tainted image. I live with different masks for different days, I’m so tired of it, I just want to be real, and accepted with this mess, that I caused…It’s such a relief to just be myself, and yet nobody knows who I really am, so it’s easy to write this…I just want this to end.Will it ever end? Or am I doomed to live in guilt and regret, and fear that I could die and go to hell at any moment…

                                                                                • Dan Day

                                                                                  I am an ex-christian, however, I do feel I have something useful to contribute. I know how the shame feels. It feels like a total contradiction to the life you are trying to lead. But I do know that the more you try NOT to do something the more difficult it becomes.

                                                                                  I think it is the thoughts rather than the act that is the issue. If the thoughts are focused on the idea of making love to an imaginary future spouse, or an existing one when you are away from them, then its probably not wrong.

                                                                                  Love making with a spouse is I believe a great gift and one that God would want us to enjoy fully with gusto. If a partner can help the other to please them then masturbation can play a role in self-education. Having a fulfilling sexual relationship is very, very important, especially for young couples.

                                                                                  It can also play a positive role in helping an individual stay celibate till the time comes.

                                                                                  Its almost impossible for young people to overcome this. People who say ‘God has helped me overcome’ etc. are deluding themselves.

                                                                                  I think God is more interested in helping you become a positive person in your family and community. Beating yourself up over a bit of self-pleasuring and grovelling to God is a self-centered and unproductive waste of time.

                                                                                  Not to mention blaming Satan. The time you spend absorbed in yourself is more of a gift to the devil than you think the act is.

                                                                                  Talk to your friends, you’ll soon find out they are all having the same problem . Bring dark secrets out to the light and you’ll soon feel a lot better. Remember that shame was Adam and Eves’ sin ie. hiding from God.

                                                                                  Especially girls get really tortured ,because girls ‘don’t do those things, do they? ‘ (Yeah, right!) Trust me, they are often worse offenders than the males.

                                                                                  Get out there, do your bit, stop thinking about yourself and your own salvation! You’ll feel a lot better.

                                                                                  Well, that’s my contribution.
                                                                                  All the best to you all

                                                                                  • janet

                                                                                    Hi. I have been struggling nine years with masturbation. Sometimes I like it then sometimes I think I know it is wrong. I repented because I didn’t want to live filthy like the world but it’s very very very hard when you have those desires.

                                                                                    • Chris Williamson

                                                                                      I am a male. I am deaf. I have problem with my masturbation, sometime it tempt me to do it. I am divorce and have 3 children now they are adults. I want to stop it cos I am christian. I want to be clean for my Lord. I think Masturbation is a sin. I need to help to stop it control me.

                                                                                      • Christine

                                                                                        niteowl had earlier said this. “And as far as masturbating without thinking lustful thoughts–good luck!”

                                                                                        Not to bash the post- because it is a good warning-

                                                                                        However difficult, it is possible to masturbate without thinking of lustful thoughts.

                                                                                        It’s already sort of an empty act- so taking conscious thought out of it makes it a lot like absent-mindedly scratching an itch- or blowing your nose. Gets the job done with no harm done so long as it’s simple, quick, and alone.

                                                                                        • r.

                                                                                          This was poor counsel. In a nutshell masturbation is self indulgence. Sex is about giving to yur mate, NOT pleasing yourself. If you are masturbating, you SHOULD feel guilty! Cause you are, but praisse the Lord there forgives for sins..for every sexual sin. The Lord exalts the humble.

                                                                                          • Jodi

                                                                                            Dear Janet and Chris (and all who posted),

                                                                                            I think we may have addressed this on another post, so forgive any repitition. Masturbation, as we know it, is not specifically addressed in the bible. Many Christians have different view points on the subject. We do know that the motivations behind the act are generally sinful. Lust or self indulgence can be destructive. The hormones that we have are pure and a gift from God. Please don’t feel ashamed of those. God doesn’t want you to supress the gift He gave you, He wants you to use them in the way they were intended. These gifts were meant to glorify Him, through our marriages on earth. The enemy uses these feeling against us until we end up feeling worthless and dirty. Ultimately the enemy succeeds in seperating us from God.

                                                                                            I must disagree with the last posting. God has no place for guilt. Guilt and degregation are the enemy’s tools that keep us seperate from Jesus. We are told to confess and repent and forgiveness is ours. There isn’t any place in the bible that tells us to confess, repent, feel the appropriate amount of guilt and then if God thinks it we have sufficiently suffered He may forgive us.

                                                                                            Jesus already paid our debt. Anytime you try to add anything to that equation, you are saying that His death on the cross wasn’t sufficient.

                                                                                            God made us in His image, a beautiful creation. It would be sad to think one of the gifts He gave us, being reduced to “getting the job done” (referring to another post).

                                                                                            It is never too late to turn a corner and change, It is the foundation for being born again. Pray for him to turn your eyes away from worthless things. (Psalm 119:37-39)

                                                                                            God Bless,

                                                                                            Christian Singles Blog Moderator

                                                                                            • dath

                                                                                              the bible tells us to remove all hints of sexual immorality in our lives. this includes masturbation beacuse 1) it is almost always caused by lustful thoughts and fantasies, 2) this causes some to be addicted to sensual pictures and pornography which leads to 3) objectifying women and later messing up your relationships with the women God has given you in life eg mother, sister, female friends etc. I have been struggling withit for some time but God gave me freedom through the book “every young man’s battle ” the bible also says, “there is a way that seems right to a man but in the end it leads to death” just because everyone is doing it doesn’t mean it’s right. eg, if you were in sodom/gommorah would you indulge in those perversions the people practised?a young teen speaking from experience.

                                                                                              • cdboston

                                                                                                In my opinion, masturbation is not always the response to lust or sexual fantasies. Although you must lust and fantasizes to fulfill the act. Yes, many times lust or the lack of ability to find control in that area have great impact, but is often not the root cause. However, sometimes lust manifest itself do to the absent of a ligitimate need. Lust developes when it exceed beyond what is natural. For example, we all have a ligitimate need for food, but we should not eat more then what is necessary. A person may have a ligitmate need for love, affection, emotional support and companionship. A my person may feel lonely or unloved, fustrated or hopeless and in their attempt to fulfill their litigitimate need for affection, help or support can sometimes lead to perversion. The body does have ligitimate needs: like the eyes have a ligitimate need to see, the ears have ligitimate need to hear. People have a ligitimate need for affection. This is no excuse for sin, but this is one of the reason, why, some people for short in this area. We all must pray and asked for God’s help in this area. The bible says in 1 Corinthian 7:8 it’s better to marry then to burn. Also, 1 Corinthian 7:1-2 says to avoid sexual immorality let every man have his own life. We all must walk in the Spirit and be led by the Spirit to put to death the misdeeds of the body. Some people have to find the strength from God and learn control in this area. For all wrong doing is sin.

                                                                                                • Jodi

                                                                                                  Dear Dath,

                                                                                                  You have made some very good points and it is clear that you have committed yourself to living in God’s path of righteousness. Thank you for the book that you reference. There isn’t much written (secularly) on the subject and I think that it would be useful.

                                                                                                  Unfortunately a majority of people do fall into the trap or “everyone else is doing it” The more we are exposed to something the more “normal” it seems to become. When we ask ourselves the question “Could everyone else be wrong?” The answer is a resounding YES. We are God’s chosen (and few) He wants all of His people to be His followers, but the majority that we share this world with are not. Praise God that you have received freedom in Jesus.

                                                                                                  God Bless,
                                                                                                  Christian Singles Blog Moderator

                                                                                                  • joe

                                                                                                    i look at porn on the net and i really hate but i keep going back and i am single male. i dont know why really and i fast forward all them. then i masturbate and i feel sick about it. i am going to try and do my best to stay and i want to stay from this stupid crap. i understand that God forgives and i happy about that. i finally understand now and i need to move with my life and not do this anymore. Like what post said ” just because everyone is doing it doesn’t mean it’s right. She right so i am going to stop feeling guilty and let God lead my life instead of me leading it. Thanks for all your help and God Bless You.

                                                                                                    • Jodi

                                                                                                      Dear Joe,

                                                                                                      Amen! The first step in the right direction is realizing that you are going in the wrong one. The you can make a u-turn. Everytime that the enemy tempts you, don’t think about the momentary satisfaction you will have. FAST FORWARD (as you said) to the hurt you feel afterwards. Ask yourself? Was it worth it? You know what the answer will be.

                                                                                                      In His Love and name,


                                                                                                      • Jodi

                                                                                                        Dear Joe,

                                                                                                        God made you just the way you are. He gave you a healthy dosage of hormones, that he intended for you to use for His glory. He also gave you a heart to love Him, which you clearly do. The Holy Spirit is living in you and that is what makes you feel sick when you act on your human impulses. With God you can defeat the enemy at his own game. Pray for Him to turn your eyes away from worthless (Psalm 119:37)

                                                                                                        God Bless,

                                                                                                        • revived

                                                                                                          I’m not entirely sure how I stumbled upon this… well, I was looking for Christian Singles in the hopes that I’d find someone I ‘clicked’ with. And here I am…
                                                                                                          In my feelings of loneliness and solitude, I realize that I’m really not. And reading this has been a blessing!

                                                                                                          I’m a 23 year old guy and have had the same struggles. Impatience, unreliance on the Lord to fulfill my needs, the pride of wanting to be the master of my own fate, are all sins I personally need to confess.

                                                                                                          But, God is so good! There’s no other way to put it.

                                                                                                          May all the women reading this have the grace, perseverance, and loyalty that Ruth portrayed.
                                                                                                          May all the guys exhibit the compassion, strength, and sincerity that Boaz portrayed.
                                                                                                          And may all of us have the patience, faith, and longing for purity that the both of them had.

                                                                                                          The Lord made it possible for them to come together (and even be in the lineage of Christ Jesus), He can do the same for all of us here!

                                                                                                          Jesus is our kinsman Redeemer! And what He has in store is better than any of us can perceive or what the enemy disillusions in our minds.

                                                                                                          May His strength be our own. May His will for our lives be our desire.

                                                                                                          • Techieperson

                                                                                                            I stumbled across this website while looking for articles on purposeful single life. I’m a 32 year old single man and like many of you here I’m guessing, waiting patiently on the Lord to provide a wife. I have to say I found this discussion interesting and wanted to share my 2 cents.

                                                                                                            Firstly, love should be a giving of self to another. A heroic act of dying to ones self to serve another. To give generously of yourself to another (your spouse). Intercourse is the ultimate and most intimate way of expressing that love and giving ourselves completely to the good and pleasure of the other. This is God’s plan for love and our sexuality!

                                                                                                            With masterbation, is the misuse of that gift that God has given us, for our own selfish desires. So what was meant to be used in selflessness, is now used in selfishness. Not very good preparation for a future marriage! and I’ll tell you why. When a man or woman has an orgasm, they release a bonding chemical in their brain that bonds them to the person they are making love to. For a woman, this also happens when she has a child (to create a bond between mother and child). When you masterbate and have an orgasm, you are in effect bonding to the images either infront of you (pornography) or in your mind (fantasies). This inturn makes it harder to bond to your future spouse. God made us to bond to one person, our future spouse!

                                                                                                            Masterbation is a selfish use of the sexual organs for your own gratification. You are the only one that benifits, not a spouse who was supposed to recieve that gift from you. One of the dangers of masterbating is that when you do get married you can carry in a mindset of self gratification into the marriage that has developed from masterbating and this inturn leads to the using of your spouse for your own “needs” and your spouse feeling unloved or used. I could go on and on about the dangers of masterbation….

                                                                                                            My brothers and sisters in Christ, do not be fooled by the tricks and lies of the devil. It’s a sin. Whether masterbation is a problem for you or not we must still pray for ourselves and each other in regards to purity. I urge you to put your armour on (prayer) and fight the good fight! Pray for the grace to remain pure, fill your mind and heart with good things and good friends, get rid of sexually suggestive or explicit music, movies, websites, newspapers, magazines, friends, humor, social settings, You may not realise how much they subconsciously condition your thinking and distort your conscience and actions. Call on the grace of God because nothing is impossible to God!

                                                                                                            God Bless you all

                                                                                                            • Mg

                                                                                                              This site has been very interesting to read and it does help that others have the same struggles as I do. It is hard when you feel alone in your struggles and that no one understands what you are experiencing.

                                                                                                              CDBoston: I think you definitely hit the nail right on the head. For some of us, me being a 38 yr old female, it does not start with a need to overcome sexual lusts or desires. It starts with feelings of loneliness, a desire to love, to want to be loved, etc. Mine usually begins days or weeks before with thoughts of being in a relationship (something I have not experienced in almost 10 years), then those day dreams lead to romantic thoughts which in turn lead to masturbation. Afterwards, the feelings of loneliness coupled with guilt are almost too much to bear. I even feel ashamed to pray because I know better.

                                                                                                              The thing is we have no choice but to try to get back up again. However, I feel like maybe if I give up the desire to find a mate and marry, then this will stop. I don’t know.

                                                                                                              I struggle with the fact that by giving up, I feel like I am not trusting God to provide the desires of my heart but by doing this, will only delay what God has for me. I want to please God but my human-ness definitely gets in the way.

                                                                                                              • esme

                                                                                                                Okay seriously, if someone tells me that they have never masterbated I would call them a liar. I truly believe that due to the fact that many people are “waiting to be married” does not mean that your body is going to stop functioning. I am reading some of these comment and they are little silly. You are saying pray pray pray and have faith faith faith, but you are not addressing the core issue is that marriage is eluding so many christian women, esp. black christian women. Turning off your natural urges is silly. If God didn’t want you to have it He would remove those feelings until you are married. I am not advocating masterbation, but don’t beat your self up over it.

                                                                                                                And to add more to the fire, we are seeing a huge number of pastor, minister, bishops and so forth falling like flies over sexual sins. They are being caught in some of the most disgusting forms of sexual perversion. Look at Haggard (i think that is his name), this guy was leading this huge project about transforming gays into straight human beings. Now we know he is a stone cold practicing homosexual. ARE YOU KIDDING ME! We as christians have got to give more practical advise to those who are having trouble with their sexual desires.

                                                                                                                • Lynn

                                                                                                                  I understand, but definitely disagree. Either we believe God or we don’t. It’s all or nothing. He says ther is no temptation given unto man that is not common. And he will not allow us to be tempted more than we can bare. Also he promised a way of escape from that temptation. I am not perfect, but he is who lives in me. We have been equpped to overcome the tempation, We just choose with our limited free will to disobey and not excercise our rights and equipment. This often comes from not knowing who we are as the Children of God. Satan comes in to attack us at our strongest desires and weakest points. By having TRUE faith and a TRUE understanding that we have authority over the enemy and all his schemes….we can overcome ANYTHING. By our faith it can done. There is no excuse, GOD will help us…he already has with the Holy Spirit, we just forget who we are and act like the world sometimes. We need to open our mouths and speak that we will obey God tonight and that my body and actions will glorify God, tomorrows another day, but this moment God wins with me. Before long…it will become a practice and a behavior and then a lifestyle that has conquered that sin.

                                                                                                                  • Lady

                                                                                                                    Hey I would like to ask everyone something… What do u do if u are a New Christain and u have not reached that level in Christ that other have… I know it is a sin to have sin before marrige but how do u work thru it. I just recieved the Holy Ghost and my boyfriend of 2yrs will not talk to me anymore because I won’t have sex with him anymore but I still am a woman and I just pray and pray and pray but the feeling moves inside of me…. that was a demon that I have been dealing with for a long time…. My boyfriend is the first guy that I have been with besides the man that malested me as a child…..I was dating woman for along time and never thought that i would ever have sex with a man in my life… So now that I have gaven my life to the Lord the devil has been on me hard HELPPPPPPPPPPP……………………

                                                                                                                    • mary

                                                                                                                      its quite interesting and amusing to read everything that you guys have written. like the rest of you, i too have been struggling with masturbation. for some time there, i had conquered the habit with much faith and hope that i would get a godly mate. i am 36 years old and still technically a virgin. but i think as the years have gone by with no godly mate showing up, i began to get bitter at God and to let go my self control with the result that i began to masturbate. i even made it worse by deliberately looking at sex on the internet (over 1 or 2 days). somehow seeing two people having the real thing really had an impact on me – i had never seen this before. i just keep asking God why the loooooonnnnnnnngggg endless wait for a Godly husband that i can fiiiinnnnnaaallllyyyyy give myself to? i mean, soon i will be going through menopause without having enjoyed sex. is this fair? i am really struggling in my belief that God has only the best for me. why won’t he bring the right guy along my path?

                                                                                                                      really frustrated!

                                                                                                                      • Dee

                                                                                                                        Techieperson, you said a lot of great things.

                                                                                                                        I think it’s nearly impossible or very very difficult to masturbate without lustful thoughts or self-gratification. And if you weren’t doing it for self-gratification, then what would be the point of you doing it in the first place? Some have said that they have overwhelming sexual desires. I’ll address that in a bit.

                                                                                                                        I used to be overpowered by masturbation. It was pretty much an addiction. It was a physical satisfaction and medically, society will tell you it’s ok to masturbate, it’s safe and there’s no risks for STDs, etc. Some will say it’s ok to masturbate as long as there’s no sexual thoughts or lust involved. That proved to be very difficult for me. The reason why I would masturbate is because a lustful thought entered my mind. That is what started the cycle. Just one lustful thought was enough to make me fall and it’s true for a lot of other people.
                                                                                                                        If it was ok to do, then why did I feel so far away from God after? I felt so ashamed, that I could barely pray during the period of addiction. I just felt like I couldn’t enter into the presence of God. I truly felt like He was displeased.
                                                                                                                        I would ask forgiveness and God would forgive me, but then after doing it again, I would just feel the exact same crappy feeling. Society said it was ok, but it was so obvious to me that spiritually it wasn’t. If it was spiritually alright, then why was it ruining my relationship with God?

                                                                                                                        Some time after that, I came to a point in my life where all I could do was put my trust in God. A situation happened that caused me to need to surrender my life to God. I rededicated my life to Jesus and began listening to a sermon from pastor greg laurie almost every night. Basically, I spent time listening to the word of God and surrounding myself with the word of God daily.
                                                                                                                        Everything else after that was natural. Because I was surrounding myself with the word of God by listening to a Christian message every night, those are the thoughts that filled my mind. There was simply not enough room for sexual thoughts that could lead to sexual desires.
                                                                                                                        It was no longer “how can I abstain from sexual desires?” but it then became “What can I do to please the Lord?” The difference in those questions is that the second one focuses on the Lord while the first one focuses on yourself. And of course, abstaining from sexual sin falls under the second question.

                                                                                                                        Don’t get me wrong, I’m still a sinner. I’m still tempted. But this is no longer a sin that controls me, no a longer a sin in which I feel helpless. Jesus saved me. You see, it’s all in the mind. What do you fill your thoughts with? Spend your energy and thoughts on serving the Lord! If you fill your mind with holy thoughts, thoughts of our Lord, holy actions will follow.

                                                                                                                        In closing, I’ll post a link to a christian message called “Love, Sex & the Single Christian.” It’s an audio of pastor greg laurie’s message.


                                                                                                                        • Melissa

                                                                                                                          I am reading sooooooo many different opinions here on masturbation and sexual purity. Lets face it here guys and gals….we are all sexual beings by nature and to want to experience the sexual innate desires that inhabit our bodies is a sure thing. Can anyone remember being a teenager when we were all virgins and wondering many times what sex was like? We all have hormones and we all have sexual desires and it is completely normal and natural. There is a fine line between masturbating for one’s relief of sexual tension or build up and masturbating to fulfill one’s wretched and evil sexual desires (ie: pornography, using inappropriate “tools”, thinking evil thoughts to produce sexual orgasm).
                                                                                                                          That’s where we should rely on the holy spirit to correct us when we have given in to sexual sin. Don’t worry — He will correct us!!! If He has convicted you….repent and resist the temptation like you would any other temptation to sin in our lives. If you are not convicted by the holy spirit and you are a devoted Christian man or woman – don’t worry…it’s likely you have not committed any sexual immmorality. Let’s just pray for one another —- don’t let Satan keep us in guilt and confusion!

                                                                                                                          • Jodi Conaty

                                                                                                                            Dear Lady,

                                                                                                                            Your situation is not an easy one and not uncommon either. Most important to know if that there is no “level” when it comes to Christ. There is nothing you need to do or strive for. As you continue your walk with Jesus, your faith will be strengthened. It is no surprise that the devil is on you hard. He just lost you and trust me he isn’t happy about it. Often the more we immerse ourselve in God, the enemy likewise turns up the heat to see if we can withstand it. We can! God will not allow us to be tempted more than we can bear (1 Corinthians 10:13)

                                                                                                                            I am sorry saddened to hear about your childhood experience. I will pray that Jesus fills up all the holes that were left in your heart.

                                                                                                                            It is difficult to be in a relationship where one person is a non-beleiver. It is especially challenging since yours started before you accepted Jesus Christ. Don’t equate his lack of acceptance with his feeling for you. Your boyfriend is feeling done wrong by. The rules have changed mid way through the game.

                                                                                                                            While he may not like the idea, he will have to accept it if he wants to remain in your relationship. I wish I had better news for you, but this may be the time to move on. This will be a constant struggle for you otherwise.

                                                                                                                            The fear I hear in your words is that you are afraid that it took you this long to heal enough to be with this man you will not find another.

                                                                                                                            You have a strength and power now that you haven’t had before. God will be your rock and your everlasting hope. Try picking up a book called “Falling in Love with Jesus” by Kathy Triccoli (you can look her up on Facebook too) Kathy talks about her own personal struggles with being single. She showed me how we can be complete in God, even without a man at our side. Once we realize that we are more complete and only then ready to share ourselves in a relationship.

                                                                                                                            God Bless!


                                                                                                                            • Jodi Conaty

                                                                                                                              Dear Lynn,

                                                                                                                              Beautifully said. God did equip us to withstand all temptation (1 Corinthians 10:13)

                                                                                                                              God did give us hormones and our sexuality. It is an amazing gift. We need to look to the bible to see what the purpose He intended it for. There are countless times that God warns us of misusing our sexuality and as many times that He tell us His will.

                                                                                                                              From the very beginning God told man and woman to be fruitful and multiply (Genisis 1:28) He is also pretty clear about not wasting our seed (obviously more graphic for men)

                                                                                                                              Here is another little known fact. When a man or woman reaches orgasm their levels of Oxycotin soar. This hormone has been dubbed the “bonding hormone” It is what helps mothers bond to their children, or gives them the let down reflex to nurse them,. When a man and woman have intercourse and get this release it naturally bonds them together which is very difficult to undo.

                                                                                                                              When you give in to your desires and masturbate, what are you bonding to? God gave us sexuality to be used for His glory. He also gave us free will to abuse that gift, if we choose to.

                                                                                                                              God wants us to choose Him.

                                                                                                                              God Bless,


                                                                                                                              • maria

                                                                                                                                Lady on September 9th I understand you.When I accepted Christ my boyfriend of 3 yrs would not speak to me as I told him our relationship would have to have some changes(no was not supportive and so we eventually parted.You have had a tough life and I pray that you will stay focused on God. Get some friends who love God who will help you go through this difficult period.Let the devil know he is a liar and you will not go back to your past life.You are a Child of God and if it means you may need to leave your present boyfriend so be it.Let God guide you in the way you should go. It is time to truly LET GO AND LET GOD do what he wants to do in your life. Jer 29 verse 11 read it.

                                                                                                                                • Shrnte

                                                                                                                                  I just want to thank the Lord for his many blessings of this website. Until now I wasn’t really sure if masturbating was a sin or not. I know now and I just love what all of you had to input on this issue. I really feel like though that everyone should look at what teichieperson had to say on this matter. They really summed it up beautifully!!! God bless and love each and everyone of you!!!!

                                                                                                                                  • Shannon

                                                                                                                                    I have been tossing this thought around for a little while now. I was married to the most wonderful man and He passed away on September 23, 2009. We were utterly devoted to one another and we had an amazing sex life…together.

                                                                                                                                    I had enjoyed self pleasure since I was a teenager and it did not as it was said previously….”””This inturn makes it harder to bond to your future spouse. God made us to bond to one person, our future spouse! “”” I was so open to Stephen and we shared many glorious moments together.

                                                                                                                           age 36 I am the widowed mother of 4 children….I do not want another husband, I do not want to go out and ease this ache with some stranger…I want my husband..the One Man God made for me to completely bond with. I do believe with all my heart that Stephen was my soulmate.

                                                                                                                                    So now that I am without Him..I am to deny the urges that overtake me when laying in our bed smelling His cologne on the pillow case I have yet to wash? Telling me that I am weak to want to feel that pleasure…they yes, I am weak…I love Him….The good Lord above knows my heart and hears from me somany times a day praying for strength to be strong for my keep my chin up as He was so fond of saying.

                                                                                                                                    I am human…I am also a woman..I am also a Christian… am I sinning een if I am thinking of Him? Am I goign agaisnt God’s Holy words by finding a release that manifests itself in a sexual desire?

                                                                                                                                    Yes, it does say in the bible to look upon and lust after is a sin, but is it still a sin to want the One You were devoted too, commited too till death you do part…which death has clearly parted us…

                                                                                                                                    So tell me now…Now what do I do?

                                                                                                                                    • Adrian

                                                                                                                                      The Lord touched me when I was 34 and a “faithful” Roman Catholic. This did not stop me from masturbating and having lustful thoughts. It was only after I got married that the desire to masturbate stopped as I found the most wonderful pleasure of sex is when you share it with the one you love (your spouse). I told my wife about this part of me (the masturbation) and one day she asked me if I had desired to masturbate at any time after marrying her and I thought about it and realised I did not!
                                                                                                                                      To all my brothers and sisters in Christ, I believe it is not a sin to masturbate but it is a wasted activity that gives you a moment of pleasure and maybe a load of guilt (if you believe it is a sin). If you do masturbate and feel guilty about doing it…..stop doing it and ask the Lord to help resist the desire to do it. If you can, keep this God given pleasure to share with the one you love. There are numerous verses in the Word of God that urges us to share our love with the one God has joined us to and this intimate relationship is what our Heavenly Father purposed for us as man and woman.

                                                                                                                                      • LadyT

                                                                                                                                        I believe mine started when I was young, I had such a fear of having sex or getting anything from sex I build a wall around myself and said this way I don’t have to worry about getting any sexual transmitted dieseases.

                                                                                                                                        I dated when I was a teen and had sex a few times but didn’t care for it because I wanted to be married before I even started, so being young at that time I stayed to myself and away from masturbatation.

                                                                                                                                        As I grew into adult I started dating again it had been 10 years I had not have sex or even masturbate, but as time when on in the relationship I finally gave into sex with my partner and I was so unhappy with it because he didn’t care about pleasing me just his self.

                                                                                                                                        So I left that relationship and asked GOD to forgive me having sex before marriage and masturbation. In my opinion I felt masturbation kind of saved my life from having sex like crazy.

                                                                                                                                        Finally I got married but later the marriage took a bad turn, my husband had a problem with sex with other women and I divorced him, he had 6 affairs on me and it was hurting.

                                                                                                                                        Sometimes I use masturbation as a way to guard my heart from hurt because I want someone to really love me and not use me as a sex toy.

                                                                                                                                        Yes sometimes I feel bad about it but I feel safe with it because I don’t have to worry about getting a sexual transmitted diseases.

                                                                                                                                        I know we each have our own reason for doing it and i’m not saying i’m any better.

                                                                                                                                        I know GOD have a heart and see us for who we really are and he know we love him.

                                                                                                                                        • Acod

                                                                                                                                          Dear Shannon,
                                                                                                                                          I cant say i know what it feels like to lose ur soulmate but ive “lost” someone that i loved b4. Though we never actually had sex, we came close more than once and when we broke up it was hard for me to cope with my sexual desires. I found myself masturbating whenever i thot of the times we were together, but each time i did it, it left me feelin emptier than ever and alienated from God.

                                                                                                                                          I have given myself standards for testing sin. ask urself, How do u feel afterwards? Can u talk with God or do u feel far away from Him? Can u tell ur friends or family what u do? I answered no to all of these and i have my answer. Masturbation only takes from me, it gives nothing back. it leaves me empty.

                                                                                                                                          • This Is My Testimony

                                                                                                                                            I am a teen. I am a good girl. I make good grades. But, about 2-3 years ago, I started to begin to have raging hormones. I had a friend who showed me what sex was, on the internet. After that, I started to watch porn, because it made me feel something that I had never felt before. I didnt realize what I was doing at the time. My parents are big Christians, so they never discuss porn or the consequences. As I watched the porn, I would masturbate. It left me feeling dirty and gross. It lasted for about a year. I didnt tell anyone and I was not close to God in this dark time. I stopped watching porn and I fought my urges and resisted masturbation. It has been 2 years since I have watched porn and yes, it is a daily battle. But, my life is much happier without it.
                                                                                                                                            I was not raised in a bad home, I just made a few bad choices.

                                                                                                                                            But, in conclusion, my Savior, Jesus, forgave me for my sins. I realized that you can live without fufilling your sexual desires and I am so happy that I turned away from my sin. He forgave me and showed me the light. It was not all easy. I dont know if masturbation is a sin, but I know that I can live without it, and I can wait until marriage. Anything is possible with the help of God.
                                                                                                                                            Bless you all
                                                                                                                                            My Savior lives, My Savior loves

                                                                                                                                            • DENNIS TEEL

                                                                                                                                              we could all talk legalism..personally,i don’t understand how legalsitic christians live happily.i grew up listening to rock music,i still listen to it.i watch horror movies and i occasionally masturbate…Jesus is concerened that we spread the good news of him and his salvation and his crucifixion and resurrection..he’s not concerened with whether you listen to led zeppelin,wath friday 13th or whether you masturbate.legalists who prefer to believe otherwise,please continue your half pleasurable christian life that you live and live it legalisically as you have been….after wouldn’t want to risk missing the rapture because you’re watching a bruce willis movie..heaven forbid!!!

                                                                                                                                              • giovanni

                                                                                                                                                I’ve always believed that masturbation is an unsettled issue with me as a single male guy that’s 33 years old, but have as of recently felt a sort of conviction about it, in particularly when used with softcore porn. I have purchased a fleshlight and masturbate on that to images of porn, or inside the shower in the past. The premise of masturbation or porn is usually a hidden rebellion based on the perceived mis-treatment by women and essentially blaming them collectively that I have to resort to masturbation or viewing porn. The Bible, 1 Corinthians 7:2, was often used to show such unfairness in life. That is, if I had a gf, or a “normal life” where there were no issues connecting with women, then simply, this would not exist.

                                                                                                                                                This week, I have been convicted about this on the issue and have just volunteered into music ministry at the church. I feel very strongly that if I’m a music minister, then my life has to be clean, or the annointing will not come through when I blow into that instrument.

                                                                                                                                                My new position about it, right now, is that if I’m involved in a public ministry, especially a music worship ministry, then I will quit that post if I continue masturbating or looking at porn. Because, the type of masturbating (i.e. fleshlight and porn) seems too much like fornication and I’m uncomfortable with it. Also, if I’m worshipping God with a Trombone, then how can I worship God in total purity if I’m doing stuff on the side like that? How can the Spirit flow through my music and bless people if this is what I do? Then the whole thing is just vain.

                                                                                                                                                God could also have a wife/woman just for me too, even if everyone else does not want me, since you only need one person to marry anyway. It’s just 1 Cor 7:2 plays with my head sometimes, because it seems to say that it’s okay to masturbate if you are not married to anyone and it’s confusing.

                                                                                                                                                • giovanni

                                                                                                                                                  Again, 1 cor 7:2, appears to acknowledge on some level that people have sexual needs, and seems to understand if you fall into sexual sins if you are not married if it is proposing marriage as a solution for sexual sins.

                                                                                                                                                  • Still_human

                                                                                                                                                    I am a Christian and a recent college graduate. I have dated only Christian girls. I don’t have a lot of experience in dating many women (I have dated only six), but our relationships have tended to turn sexual (mutual masturbation) fairly quickly. This is not my intention, but it happened. I have never had intercourse, and I don’t want to until marriage. I will only engage in monogamous relationships. I make certain that the girls I dated felt the same way. But we do wind up petting and masturbating each other. My current girlfriend and I have talked about this, and the consensus is that at our age (early to mid-20s), it’s virtually impossible not to be somewhat controlled by sex. This sounds like an excuse, but she has confessed her feelings to me (and I have to her also) and I totally understand because my feelings are very similar. Using the intensity of our sexual feelings as a reason for mutual masturbation sounds like an excuse, but we feel that the act of masturbation has improved our relationship. Once the act is complete, we are freer to enjoy each other’s company, and to go out and have fun without the sexual pressure. Because of our work schedules, we can see each other only about twice a week. But this brings sufficient release to make our entire week more enjoyable. And, yes, marriage is the proper remedy, and we are beginning to discuss this. We seem to be extremely compatible, and I believe that true love is developing between us. We are both cautious, but excited about what the future holds. We continue to feel that we are in touch with God and that He is guiding us.

                                                                                                                                                    • Someone

                                                                                                                                                      Keeping all things sexual within marriage only works when everyone gets married very young (which is the way things used to be), are sexually loyal to their spouses (sometimes), and there are perfectly equal genders (never the case). I know first hand that there are not enough women to go around. Furthermore, government control has screwed over marriage as it now comes with the danger of losing your assets even if you do nothing wrong, and does nothing to encourage the other person to be sexually available to you. From the 4 sons and 2 daughters of Adam and Eve life has not been fair and merely being left out is unsustainable as evidenced by the Roman Catholic clergy. Sin or not, people need sex and if they have no outlet it will negatively affect their mental health.

                                                                                                                                                      • andreas

                                                                                                                                                        I tried to get rid of this habit for many years. I stayed away from porns and anything that may lead me to do it. I tried but I failed. I know I could not do this by relying on what and know-how methods. I need my Savior to lead me out of this struggles. Because masturbation is an addiction and it is deep-rooted, it must be replaced with something greater than it. The addiction is not easily healed or removed. Something greater that I found out to be the solution is JESUS’s love. Only after I know more about JESUS’s love to me, the struggles silent down. I asked Holy Spirit to help, showing me the things I need to do to get rid of this. His ways to each one of us are different from one another, that’s the reason He’s called Personal Lord and Savior. Tips that the Holy Spirit inspired me to use in order to get rid of this habit are:
                                                                                                                                                        a. do more outdoor activities
                                                                                                                                                        b. love yourself – buy things for yourself, reward yourself etc
                                                                                                                                                        c. importantly – only listen to preaching that is full of God’s love to you. Not condemnations or sermons that make you feel guilty. Be Jesus’s conscious.

                                                                                                                                                        • giovanni

                                                                                                                                                          My convictions against masturbation are changing when I see other masturbators are being depraved and corrupt. I own a fleshlight sex toy and now I’m thinking of getting rid of it because I feel turned off by the moral depravity of other people who own it and think I’m sinking to their level. I see first hand as a child of the light not to have fellowship with darkness.
                                                                                                                                                          So, if I masturbate or think lustfully, or look at porn, it is not in the context that I’m rejecting or rebelling against God here, but that I’m struggling, confessing, and asking God to deliver me out of the particular struggle. I may feel bad to the extent I can blame the inavailablity or rejection by women so that I can get married and may allow that as an outlet of expression — but I refuse to identify with any of those antichrist masturbators, even if it means I have to give up masturbation entirely not to be associated with them.

                                                                                                                                                          • A. N. Other

                                                                                                                                                            I once read some very helpful articles on this issue and others relating to it by Lambert Dolphin, which you should be able to find online. One thing I find helpful is praying about it, not particularly praying for forgiveness but praying that you’ll break the habit. The results aren’t immediate, but I’ve found that I’ve increasingly lost interest and what I really want and need is less (unsatisfying) self-gratification and more a proper and fulfilling relationship (not that I have one…). Sort of like weaning yourself off drugs I suppose. It’s less hypocritical to ask for forgiveness when you’ve kicked the addiction, I would argue, and asking for help instead of forgiveness suggests you’ve got forgiveness in mind but you haven’t got rid of the problem yet.

                                                                                                                                                            I should also add that getting help is easier in an age where we can be anonymous on the net. It’s great that we don’t have to talk to people we know about issues like this. The internet is mostly darkness, but in darkness light is relatively brighter.

                                                                                                                                                            • Granny Smith

                                                                                                                                                              Masturbation is fine. As long as you don’t beat it in a Burger King bathroom and have your whole life revolving around it. I am a Christian woman and I have to say I am tired of these ideals that single Christian women can’t be sexy in any way. It is so insulting to have other believers expect you to wear frumpy clothes and spend free time doing holier than thou activities while waiting for a so-called perfect Christian man that doesn’t exist bc no Christian is perfect!

                                                                                                                                                              Masturbation is far better than giving it away in the heat of passion. When I masturbate, it lessens the urge to do something stupid
                                                                                                                                                              because I am not constantly trying to suppress my sexual appetite.

                                                                                                                                                              Happy New Years and lots of wishes that you will find true love 😎

                                                                                                                                                              • Daniel Rodger

                                                                                                                                                                If everything else God says, in the New Testament, was applied, then masturbation probably wouldn’t be viewed as a problem. That’s why God doesn’t specifically mention it. He says ‘if you can’t control yourself then marry’. He also says ‘it’s not good for man to be alone’. Interesting read here:

                                                                                                                                                                • Saviourslave

                                                                                                                                                                  I have been masturbating to porn for roughly over a year now. Right from the beginning my soul felt vile and corrupted, doing such a thing and repeatedly asking for God’s help and forgiveness, and then just starting all over again the next day.

                                                                                                                                                                  I have tried making promises to God and punishing myself if I do it again. But somehow just one wrong image is enough to push me over the edge and push me back into the quicksand of sin.

                                                                                                                                                                  I still keep trying to stop, and I hold onto the hope that God will bring THE One and replace my lonely and lustful need for self-gratification with something, MORE. To Love, To Cherish, To Hold Onto Them, knowing that God has provided and that you no longer find yourself wanting.

                                                                                                                                                                  Please pray for me as I continue to struggle with this nightmare. Bless you all, my brothers and sisters.


                                                                                                                                                                  • A. N. Other

                                                                                                                                                                    Saviourslave, I know how you feel. I’ve been there and sometimes I am there. I agree with those who argue masturbating (without the aid of pornography) is better than actually committing adultery. It’s the intent that’s the grey area. It’s the lesser of two evils in managing sexual desires, but there’s a risk of becoming addicted while still deluding yourself into believing you need rather than want.

                                                                                                                                                                    It’s confusing, I know. Have a read of what I wrote on this forum a few days ago. You and I both know the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak, so don’t make promises. Ask God to help you break the addiction.

                                                                                                                                                                    I too am a man alone, however, I’m not one to use a dating agency. Sitting around worrying about things like this won’t help. A good way to avoid pornography is to find an engrossing hobby, something creative perhaps. Great places to meet a good woman is church or at a university Christian group. Whatever the case, you’re not the only one.

                                                                                                                                                                    • SB

                                                                                                                                                                      i really do not know what to say because i have read different people point of view but i really what us all to think about it when we all get to the gate of heaven what are we going to tell God about the way we lived are lives, remember in the bible God said let your body be my temple and at all times we sholud all learn to control your body. it is heard to keep our body but with God on our side all things are possible.

                                                                                                                                                                      • Livine in this world, too

                                                                                                                                                                        Would everybody quit legalizing their lives? To each one God has given enough faith and GRACE. The point is not whether or not one masturbates, but whether their main love is in the Lord. We are ALL HUMAN and migrate towards our personal character with which we are born with. If masturbating does not offend anyone, why would it offend the Lord? Does anyone get all bent out of shape when you eat an ice cream sundae? Watch a T.V. show? That is self-gratifying as well. Get off the legalistic rollercoaster and enjoy the life God gave you. Love is the key. Love the Lord by thanking Him with your life and loving your neighbor. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

                                                                                                                                                                        • Gina

                                                                                                                                                                          I was actually looking for another blog but Ill go ahead and comment on this after I read it all-
                                                                                                                                                                          First of all I think its wonderful the discussion going on here. Thank you to the author and participants.
                                                                                                                                                                          I’m a female, 36 yrs old and divorced. I had a crazy after divorce sexual lifestyle. Which included alot of masturbating. 4 to 5 times daily.
                                                                                                                                                                          I grew up in church, my mom was a youth minister for over 20 I knew the rules.
                                                                                                                                                                          After recommitting my life to the Lord and seeking Him whole heartedly slowly and surely my “need” to masturbate or act out sexually has pretty much abated. I have been delivered from that bondage- thank you Jesus!
                                                                                                                                                                          However, periodically I find myself masturbating although less often and many weeks and sometimes months inbetween times, it happens.
                                                                                                                                                                          Whether or not its right or wrong I guess to me belongs to the conviction of the Holy Spirit. For those who are or have been in bondage of that typ..I believe that is something God would not want you to do because of the patterns it can bring back up in your life.
                                                                                                                                                                          God can and will deliver and heal you of these things.
                                                                                                                                                                          I honestly thought that I would never be able to purge this out of my life, but again, the more I seek Him, the more I try to make my heart and mind mirror His. The less I feel the need to do this..but thats me personally and Ive admitted that sometimes it still happens. Im foulable- humans err
                                                                                                                                                                          The Holy Spirit convicts, Jesus heals… Man does not have the right to heap guilt on your head.
                                                                                                                                                                          Take it to God, and take it one day at a time
                                                                                                                                                                          God Bless and thank you all for being so brave and open and honest.

                                                                                                                                                                          P.S to GrannySmith- and I hope that you still read this thread.. I feel you! Im having a horrible time figuring out how to be a “Godly woman” and “acceptable”
                                                                                                                                                                          I dont know how to dress right.I hate frumpy clothes, I cant help the figure I have but Ive been told to sex it down..I dont dress provoctively but because of how Im built thats how it “looks” I dont date because I dont know how to date Christian men. I tried, and shockingly found that they are just as jerky and sex crazed as men in the world.
                                                                                                                                                                          Enough of that..I just wanted to say, I identify with your post a great deal

                                                                                                                                                                          • maxi

                                                                                                                                                                            masturbation opens the door to demonic spirits to attack you in your sleep. they are called incubus demon they attack you by sexually atttacking you in your sleep and pressing down on your chest so hard you can hardly breath. They are tryingto kill you.
                                                                                                                                                                            this sounds wierd but true. look up incubus demons online. one sin opens the door to another. sinful thhoughts which opens the door to demons

                                                                                                                                                                            • Jay

                                                                                                                                                                              I’m a 25 year-old single christian male, Up until a few months ago I had never engaged in masturbation before. The thought never really crossed my mind. But, one day I did it and needless to say it has been almost impossible to stop. A few months later and it is still a daily struggle.

                                                                                                                                                                              Do I feel like it is wrong? yes I do, however I do not allow me to beat myself up about. I’m not perfect and I never will be unfortunately. I’m also an adult, we all have urges. I am a virgin too. I’m trying to do the best that I can to keep these feelings to myself until God blesses me to meet the woman I will spend my life with.I do not think this is something I will struggle with all my life, I feel like I’m at a stage where I’m vulnerable and I just have to deal with it day by day. In time it will pass as many of you have mentioned in your own lives. I don’t think God is upset with me, I feel he will help me get through this.

                                                                                                                                                                              I really like this site because although we are Christians, we are humans too. It’s time we start to be honest about what we go through in life, and not pretend as if we are to holy to succumb to normal human conditions. I hope for all your prayers as I will be praying for you. Thank you and GOD BLESS.

                                                                                                                                                                              • Ang

                                                                                                                                                                                Hey…I’m 19 years old – a female- Christian for 6 or more years of my life and never had I thought of masturbation before until July 09′ my boyfriend and I since we couldn’t be intimate physically because of distance and because of not being married he began to masturbate. It was a fun thing to do but I always felt convicted afterwards and so did he, and we’d keep asking God to forgive us of our faults but sure enough we fell again and again and again. We fasted we prayed we even took time off from talking to each other. We stopped for a while and began to focus more on God and on our spiritual growth together as a couple…and then we started to fall again and again and again. We stopped for a while and now we fell again .. I just Pray that God sees us through this roller coaster. We don’t wanna dishonor God with our bodies.

                                                                                                                                                                                • fp

                                                                                                                                                                                  Well this is a hot button topic. You really got to hand it to Maxi, no pun intended. I always wondered why I woke up with chest pains! See, its people like Maxi that give these websites misguided and laughingly incorrect information about this topic.

                                                                                                                                                                                  • Mimi

                                                                                                                                                                                    I can completely relate to most of you in regards to masturbation. For a while i was so addicted to it that sometimes i’d masturbate 4-5 times a day. I thought i’d never be able to stop and my excuse was that it kept me from having sex. I would feel convicted and really bad after i’d do it. I did everything to stop; made promises to God, outdoor activities, punished myself, ignored the urges as much as i could, none of this worked. It wasn’t until i got prayed for that the cycle was broken. Masturbation is not something pleasing in God’s eyes. When you masturbate what comes to mind? When i would do it i would think about naked men or see myself with someone else doing sexual things. Ephesians 5:3 tells us there shouldn’t even be a hint of sexual immorality in our lives. 1 Cor. 6:18 tells us to flee from sexual immorality. Masturbation is a form of sexual pleasure therefore we are sinning. I’m not condemning anyone but i am stating that masturbation is a sin and it can be overcome! We serve the creator of this earth, the King of Kings, nothing is impossible to Him! This is a form of bondage that needs to be broken! We shouldn’t accept it and keep doing it but ask the Lord to help us break the bondage so God can use us to our full potential! If you can’t do it on your own have a Christian spirit-filled pastor along with intercessors pray over you. you don’t have to tell them what it is that you do, just say it’s something you’ve been struggling with that you need to be delivered from. honestly, i truly enjoy not being in bondage by masturbation anymore! it’s great and i know it’s pleasing to God because i’m remaining pure until marriage 🙂 Praise God!

                                                                                                                                                                                    • danielle

                                                                                                                                                                                      Having recently wed a wonderful and older Christian man while still a virgin in my 30s, I must say the entire thought of learning to have sex frightened me. One secular male friend of mine was always an open book about adult anatomy and reactions of partners together. Yes, I would ask him online to describe himself including private parts and meanwhile masturbate myself simultaneously. He once asked if I was and it made me lie and say no. Told him only made me cross my legs back and forth. But now that the experience of a blissful and satisfying married life has been given to me I can still say to be thankful for my acquaintance and our conversations.

                                                                                                                                                                                      • just another story

                                                                                                                                                                                        well im a 17 yr old male. i started masturbating when i ws 11. i didnt know what i was doing. it just felt great. i did it for years and about 2 years ago started dating this amazing girl. i eventualy told her about it. it really shook our relationship but we managed to hang on. i still struggle with masturbating. sometimes every day or even multiple times in a day. my girlfriend, well, hates it. she says it hurts her. im so confused. some people say its wrong. others say its no big deal. i myself dont really know what i feel. i feel bad but thats more because my girlfriend doesnt want me to do it. not as much the act itself. it in a way helps me keep my sanity. sometimes the sexual tension is unbearable and masturbating relieves that. it also helps keep me out of trouble with my girlfriend. but the question of right or wrong still persits. ive seen both sides of the coin and have to make a descision. but im more confused than ever. if anybody can help id really appreciate it….

                                                                                                                                                                                        • Needing advice

                                                                                                                                                                                          This is great to hear people talk about this subject. I never knew so many people struggled with this. I am 36 and very much struggle with masterbation and feeling guilty every time I do it. I’ve heard a lot of people talking about waiting until they found their Christian mate to explore their sexual feelings, but for me I don’t feel I will ever get married. I’m not even sure I want to get married. I’ve been pretty sick for the last year. I’m in end stage renal disease and I have a cathater that comes out of my side so I can do dialysis treatments 4 times a day. I don’t imagine with my health I will ever get married. However, I still have the sexual frustrations, and as most people can say “if I can just wait until I get married”, I don’t feel I will ever get married. So for those of us who will never marry and never have the hope of a sexual relationship that is right in God’s eyes, what’s the answer for us.
                                                                                                                                                                                          I wish I would never have these feelings, but it seems the more I try to suppress them, the worse they get.
                                                                                                                                                                                          I don’t want God to be disappointed in me, but I feel like such a disappointment.

                                                                                                                                                                                          • Island Chick

                                                                                                                                                                                            Stats: almost 28, born again, female, single, virgin

                                                                                                                                                                                            I’ve been completely single for almost 9 years (yes, I heard you gsap out loud!) after ending my last relationship because I re-dedicated my life to Christ and my boyfriend wasn’t feeling the whole “saved” vibe. We were together for 2 years and did ‘stuff’ to avoid having sex ONLY because I insisted. But half-way in to the relationship, I started masturbating… well, he ‘introduced’ me to it and I took over after that.

                                                                                                                                                                                            From that time until a while ago, I masturbated regularly–every night for a couple of years. Sometimes I felt guilty, sometimes not; sometimes I thought about my ex, sometimes it was all about me. I was severly conflicted and would often stop for weeks, even months at a time… then I would suddenly fall back into the same habit.

                                                                                                                                                                                            That continued until I hit my breaking point at 26. Up until then, masturbation was just to take the edge off but I started to get crazy horny–one day, I had to drive home on my lunch hour to ‘handle my business! That was around the same time that I ventured into porn on the net. It was curiosity that drove me because I never let myself indulge although everyone around me was into it. Well, I had my fill of porn for about 2 weeks and then I realized that I was dealing with a serious demon.

                                                                                                                                                                                            I made a serious commitment of sexual purity to God and to myself, and there was no looking back!! He has been more than faithful–I have been ‘clean’ (from masturbation and porn) for a year and 4 months, now! I’m still working on the thoughts of sex, but Jesus has brought me a long way.

                                                                                                                                                                                            That long testimony was simply to let everyone know that we CAN do ALL things through CHRIST who strengthens us. Even though I’m still single and believing God for my husband, those overwhelming sexual urges are completely gone and the Holy Spirit gets me through the day to day stuff.

                                                                                                                                                                                            Because I’m not 100% sure if masturbation is against God’s will or not, I’m just gonna leave it alone. But my prayer for all of the Christians struggling with it is that you EARNESTLY seek God about the issue. Pray and fast on it–the Holy Spirit will never lead us astray. God bless!!!

                                                                                                                                                                                            • Susan

                                                                                                                                                                                              Well, due to the fact that XXX Church, a foundation dedicated to keeping minds pure, released a statement that masturbation was healthy. Your girlfriend should not be upset, but rather glad that you are not with another girl. Let her know, I am a young man that is programmed to want and desire a woman, and it’s the only other option I have, unless we marry young and make our parents mad. Open up to a man figure in your life, a father, an uncle, someone that will better assist you with an answer about what may help you, becuase your testosterone levels are high, which makes you want to have sex more. It’s life.

                                                                                                                                                                                              • maxi

                                                                                                                                                                                                CONTINUATION FROM JANUARY 27,2010
                                                                                                                                                                                                BECAUSE IT FEEL GOOD DOES NOT MEAN YOU SHOULD DO IT. MASTURBATION IS A SIN BECAUSE MENTALLY YOU IMAGINE SEXUALLY THOUGHTS IN YOUR MIND THAT IS SIN. YOU MENTALLY GO THERE BEFORE YOU PHYSICALLY GO THERE (MASTURBATION). ]
                                                                                                                                                                                                MATTHEW 5;28 – BUT I SAY UNTO YOU. THAT WHOSOEVER LOOKETH ON A WOMAN O LUST AFTER HERCOMMITTED ADULTERY WITH HER ALREADY IN HIS HEART. LOOK UP PHILLIPPIANS 4:8

                                                                                                                                                                                                SOME PEOPLE THINK IF IT FEELS GOOD IT MUST BE ALRIGHT TO DO. THIS IS NOT TRUE THAT IS HOW SATAN TRAPS U MENTALLY AND THIS OPEN THE DOOR TO DEMONS ATTACKING YOU IN YOUR SLEEP. LOOK UP INCUBUS SPIRITS AND SEX DEMONS. THIS IS NOT A JOKE.

                                                                                                                                                                                                • Mimi

                                                                                                                                                                                                  Maxi i completely agree with you and i can speak from experience that i’ve been personally attacked by incubus. it was during the first months that i had stopped masturbating. i know that demon wanted me to do it again. i woke up in the middle of the night feeling someone on me touching me and causing arousal. i was frozen and couldn’t move. i just kept feeling someone touching me. it was then that i started praying in the spirit and rebuking it in the name of Jesus and he took off. this is not a joke this is something serious! masturbation is not okay in God’s eyes. He wants us to be pure and that includes sexually pure! don’t put your calling and relationship with God on the line for a few minutes of fleshly pleasure that will only bring you guilt and push you away from God. Seek the Lord in prayer and fasting! Ask Him for deliverance from this demon! He will never abandon you i promise!

                                                                                                                                                                                                  • Alex

                                                                                                                                                                                                    Very good previous discussions about this topic. It is a subject that most Christian singles have had to deal with and continue to deal with, me being one of them. To the fellow that dealt with the legalistic side of it, i commend you. And to the rest also because, IMO, all of your opinions are valuble.

                                                                                                                                                                                                    i would like point out a scriptural reference that does not name it but hints at it.
                                                                                                                                                                                                    2 Timothy 3
                                                                                                                                                                                                    1This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.
                                                                                                                                                                                                    2For men shall be lovers of their own selves.

                                                                                                                                                                                                    There are others that have been mentioned in this thread and there are also others that are hinted at in scripture. For chapter and verse references, i will leave for another time because my memory escapes me.

                                                                                                                                                                                                    Most people struggle with this from time to time and IMO Masturbation is wrong sometimes but never really right. Guilt is involved in most cases with some exceptions to the rule. If it is a sin, i do not believe it is the un-pardonable sin because who in the heck would make it to heaven if that was
                                                                                                                                                                                                    the case?

                                                                                                                                                                                                    I myself with opine later about this topic and God bless you all.

                                                                                                                                                                                                    • Alex

                                                                                                                                                                                                      and to add to my previous post, masturbation is common and to the younger folks, put away your guilt trips and obey your heart in the matter. You are not alone in your struggles. But to say if a sin for everybody would be very presumtuous of anybody because only God knows really.

                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Samantha

                                                                                                                                                                                                        Rediculous. I am a christian and masturbation is NOT wrong. Sometimes you have to give your undercarriage a bit of a hows your father…or in my case…mother. God gave you hands, and he gave you private parts and sexual desire….it’s not rocket science. Honestly, I think people take the sin issue too far, or perhaps you will judge me and call me secular, either way…I don’t care. Why is it mine or your right to judge people for masturbating? Why should someone feel ‘dirty’ for touching themself? Thats like trying to deny your feelings when you are happy, or sad. God made us complex, and something else we feel is horny, along with happy or sad, why deny your emotions? Its not like you are hurting anyone. It doesn’t make you a bad christian. So if you’re single, even if you’re not single and the mood strikes….I think it’s fine to masturbate!!

                                                                                                                                                                                                        • Chris

                                                                                                                                                                                                          I’ll be 33 this month and i have never had sex in my life. I live alone dealing with seizures that doctors cant stop. Since i have this disorder im not allowed to have a job or car, so im hardly ever around people and i do not have a life what so ever.I do go to church 3 times a week. Ive never been married, but ive always wondered what it would be like to be normal like everyone else, to have a normal life, and yes sex is one of the issues. Is it a sin to wonder what its like to have sex when you know nothing about it and want to be normal like everyone else even though it might never happen ? If god told you that you would never have sex, can sex be substituted with masterbation ?

                                                                                                                                                                                                          • Bethany

                                                                                                                                                                                                            (18, christian, female, single)
                                                                                                                                                                                                            Island Chick,

                                                                                                                                                                                                            Thank you for sharing!! I have a similar story, and am so glad to hear that I’m not alone. But I have a question, are you afraid that you’ve conditioned yourself to be pleased in a certain way from now on? That when God brings you a husband, it will no longer be ‘special’?
                                                                                                                                                                                                            I’ve been trying to stop, but I keep falling down. It’s come to a point where as soon as I feel a satisfying arousal, everything just kind of shuts down (never reaching orgasm). I feel like my sex life is forever damaged. I know that I should accept God’s forgiveness and forgive myself, but I can’t help think that I deserve it, that no guy should have me because of who I’ve become.
                                                                                                                                                                                                            I’m not sure if I should see a phycologist about this or not.

                                                                                                                                                                                                            p.s. I believe my hymen has been broken during masturbation. Does that mean I’m not a virgin anymore? (I’ve never had sex with a guy).

                                                                                                                                                                                                            • Julie

                                                                                                                                                                                                              I’ve never had sex with a guy, but I masturbate (I’m trying to stop). I think I might have broken my hymen. Am I still a virgin?

                                                                                                                                                                                                              • Tom

                                                                                                                                                                                                                I’m a guy (age 23). First off, I would like to talk from experience. Last February I fasted from masturbation for a month. I found that I was so full of hormones and thoughts about sex, that I had trouble living life near the end. As a matter of practicality, I think that not masturbating creates more sin over time.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                Furthermore, medical science has shown that masturbating is healthy and can reduce the risk of prostate cancer if done at least 4 times a week.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                As far as the Bible is concerned, Matthew 5:28 is talking to married men. This is very clear in context. Also, single men should not fantasize about married women. A single man fantasizing about a single woman is (by definition) not adultery.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                Porn is wrong because sex is the consummation of marriage vows. Watching people have sex and fantasizing about being with them is similar to fantasizing about a married women even if the people in the videos are not legally married. (John 4:16-18)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                Also, Job 31:1 “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl.” is often misused. Job was married! (See verses 9 & 10 “If my heart has been enticed by a woman, or if I have lurked at my neighbor’s door, then may MY WIFE grind another man’s grain, and may other men sleep with her.”) His “covenant” was to not look at other women because he was married.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                Two last thoughts:
                                                                                                                                                                                                                1.Note that in Leviticus 15:16, an “an emission of semen” makes a man unclean. Unclean is not sin (although it is used as a metaphor for sin). Unlcean = unhygienic. Remember that a woman on her period was unclean. We don’t tell them to stop their monthly cycles (LOL)!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                2. Some in the Catholic Church argue that you should only have sex to create life. They say an emission of semen for any other reason is a waste and should be avoided. By that logic, every father should tell their daughters to start having sex after their first period in order to prevent the “waste” of a potential life.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                I hope that these words remove some unnecessary guilt and help you to live the Christian life!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                • Leigh2011

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  This is a very interesting topic that has piqued my interest. Okay, I’ve been masturbating for years, I did not feel guilty about it, when I had confessed to the lord I needed a savior and wished to be saved then I felt he did it, but I did not stop masturbating ( I still didn’t feel guilty). As the time went on I had run across this comment some where talking about how masturbating was wrong and it means your unclean, it means our father is upset and not happy with you and that you give in to the devil by masturbating. Well then I started looking around trying to see why this person would think that.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Soon I found myself on several christians sites where they just believe it is the ultimate sin, how it is a terrible thing to do and they think god would turn his face away when you do things like this. Well I honestly think what was said caused a problem in my life, because I felt that since I was new at being saved I didn’t know any better so I began to feel uncomfortable about it, I cried and beat myself up over it when ever I did it, because their words kept coming back to my head, over and over again. This is where the problem begins, I felt that I was unworthy of our father’s love and in feeling this way I felt that I did not deserve his forgiveness for continuing to do it after what I read. I felt conflicted for a while, I did not feel at peace. Soon I began to feel as if I was distancing my self from our father I did not feel close to him over because of how I began to feel.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Here’s the other problem, I tried to stop myself from doing it, I laid up at night crying and restless trying to figure out if what I was doing was wrong, because until I read what some christians thought about it I did not have a problem with masturbation, I felt close to god even though i did it, I felt I could go to him and ask him of things, knowing it would get done in a matter of time. I did not feel worried, but It was only until I read those things when I felt at war with myself, I felt unworthy, I didn’t want to pray because I felt this was my punishment for doing the things I did.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  For a while I felt lost, I felt like for the things I did he would not hear me, so i asked him to turn down my sexual desires, and you know what? he did it, he turned it down so well that I can actually feel the difference. I feel lighter when I went back to him and told him to just handle it because I couldn’t do it myself. Thats a big problem with people trying to handle it themselves, trying to punish themselves, but I say take it to our father and let him be the one to handle it for you. It’s alright, it doesn’t mean your a bad person for masturbating. I think that was the conclusion I had to come to, because I still masturbate, do I feel guilty now? no. I feel at peace again, personally I think all this guilt is the devil because I realized thats how he got me to stray away and distance myself from god, guilt. Guilt that I wasn’t worthy, that didn’t deserve his love, his blessings, that it was cheapening his grace by continuing to masturbate and going to ask for forgiveness only to turn around and do it again.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  My advice, don’t beat your self up over this, know that you will be forgiven because there is a reason why god sent jesus to die for our sins because he knew we couldn’t get to him by ourselves. Haven’t anyone heard it’s not by your works, but by your faith that you will be saved? To me your trying to work by trying to stop masturbating as a way to prove to god that you are worthy. When all he really wanted was for you to believe his son died on the cross and believeing he died for your sins, nothing more, nothing less. Because i’m sorry to tell you but….we’ll never be able to be sinless like his son. We are sinners. Let’s just admit that, put it all on the table, show all your cards and not beat our selves to death for our sins. Someone already did for us, let’s just be grateful he did because we would be screwwwwwwwwed if he didn’t, don’t let a sin have power over you and cause you to move away from god. I am full aware I sin, I am fully aware I may not deserve his forgiveness and I’m still praying his reduce my sexual desires, but I will not let this or anything else try to get me down again, it felt terrible

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  It happend to me and I think thats whats happening to many others. Ask him for advice as well or ask him to handle it, many here are punishing themsevles for what they do, someone else has already been punished for you. Our father knew all of things we were going to go through, do you think our sins surprise him? He knew us before we were in the womb, he knows how we are now. Let’s just be glad he’s not sending balls of fire and lightening bolts down upon us to strike us down, because yes we do deserve it lol. God loves you either way, if he didn’t he wouldn’t have sent jesus to die for us.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  If you really want to stop masturbating then by all means go to father, he’ll handle it, he’ll work on you. I admit I’m still being worked on, but I just wanted to share my story and of what i thought. Do I think masturbating was wrong? I found it has kept me from doing stupid things, especially to this one guy i went to school with. I know to this day that if I had been some where alone with that guy a few months back before i asked to be saved, I’d probably be pregnant right now. I have no doubt in my mind about that, now I don’t know if it was because of porn ( which I’m still working on, I so far have been porn free for some time now) but all I know is that i was obsessed with that guy, I couldn’t understand why. i was so confused as to why i wanted to have children so bad during that time, I mean it was a terrible time. I know he wasn’t the best guy out there, he did things I do not approve of, but It’s like i was willing to ignore that all if he would just impregnante me. It was scary, it was like I was in heat. it was on my mind all the time every day, in my dreams, I was afraid of my self. I also must admit it wasn’t the first time I wanted a guy to get me pregnant, but with him it was more intense, almost extreme need. Even then i had to pray that the lord would help me and he did, he took away the maddening desire during those months, do i still think that guy looks good? yes but I recognize him for what he is: temptation, and the devil almost got me. Even to this day i know i have to stay away from this guy, because I’m sure he could still talk me into doing something I know I promised myself i wouldn’t do until marrige. Anyways i hope I don’t fall away and end up back to the way I felt before except with another guy. Pray for me on that as i will be praying for you all on this.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Sorry for the long comment but i felt the need to share with you, I hope you all are having a nice day! =]

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  • Lorna

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I have always wondered about masturbation and christianity. I get many people asking me about it and I have no answers. Someone out there to help……

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    • Anonymous

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      It makes me so sad to see so many people who are otherwise totally dedicated to God beating themselves up over the so-called sin of masturbation.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I was raised Christian and accepted the Lord as a young child. I started masturbating even earlier, and I can promise you that there were no sexual fantasies attached to it because I didn’t even know what sex was. It was all about discovering that a certain part of my body felt good when I touched it in a certain way. So I had no guilt over it and didn’t struggle with it. However, I knew it involved my “private parts,” so I instinctively felt that there was something private about it. Not sinful, not unclean, not perverted. Private.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      When I was about 12 or 13, I heard about masturbation for the first time and realized that it was what I’d been doing. But still I didn’t know it was considered a “sin,” and I had no feelings of guilt about it. Then, finally, I started reading Christian material that informed me it was wrong to masturbate, and–voila!–I felt guilty.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      It’s clear to me now that I had to be taught to feel this guilt. There was nothing in my heart or my spirit, no still, small voice that whispered to me that I was angering God. Eventually, I realized that the guilt was artificial. It wasn’t based on anything in the Scripture. It was culturally induced guilt.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      My personal belief is that masturbation isn’t a sin. I believe those who feel guilty about it feel guilty because they’ve been taught to feel guilty, not because there’s something inherently wrong with masturbation. Think about it: If everyone you respected told you it was a sin to listen to classical music or go jogging or speak Spanish or whatever, you’d believe it. And the reason you probably feel embarrassed about “admitting” masturbation to others is because it’s private. It involves your private parts and a private kind of pleasure. Be honest with yourself. If you’d just had sex with your spouse, would you really want to broadcast that to your neighbors, or would you also feel embarrassed to share that bit of info with them? Of course you would! And that’s not because sex with your spouse is wrong. That’s because it’s private. Well, masturbation is private, too.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      God created us to feel pleasure in certain parts of our body. In terms of sharing that pleasure, we’re only supposed to do so with the one person we’ve committed to forever. But that doesn’t mean it’s wrong to enjoy those God-given feelings on our own.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      It’s interesting to me that sooooo many people do battle with this supposed sin, yet it’s never explicitly mentioned in the Bible. Sure, we’re told not to lust after another person. But plenty of people masturbate just by focusing on the feelings. Others create an imaginary person to think about, and while this is more iffy in terms of what’s right and wrong, it doesn’t seem to hurt anyone since the person isn’t real. Seriously, if God hated masturbation, don’t you think He would have given us a firm word on this subject since just about every single person engages in it?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      If you ask me, everyone should learn to separate the true voice of the Holy Spirit from false guilt instilled by others, spend some more time in the Word, and then decide if it’s really something to be ashamed of or just something you want to keep to yourself because it’s SUPPOSED to be private.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Anonymous

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        on the comment: (Anonymous on August 8th, 2010 6:07 am) the comment before this one…”Then, finally, I started reading Christian material that informed me it was wrong to masturbate, and–voila!–I felt guilty.”…

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        haha…you got the same storyline as me, just that i heard about the word masturbation when i was 14 years old i think and started to know what it means…

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Was in school and heard from my classmates utter, talking about masturbation…and i asked one of them whats masturbation? and he said…”wow, what an innocent mind you have”….lol

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        • 29 Year Old Single Male

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          My name is Jon I am 29 and single. I desire very strongly to have a wife but this has been a difficult search for me, as I seem to be alot like that sock everyone has that doesn’t quite have a match. I was given somewhat a large sex drive which I feel was given to me by God, so that I may procreate a decent/large sized family with the right woman. I am fairly inexperienced with women a few relationships here and there nothing really serious or with marriage potential, so have spent a great deal of time single.To deal with my urges and avoid invasive lustful thoughts, I do masturbate to thoughts of my future spouse and/or things unrelated to sex. I try and abstain from using porn whenever possible and at this point can take it or leave it and prefer the latter, and try and keep lustful thoughts out of my head when masturbating and can indeed manage this. Once I’ve finished, I feel a sense of relief and those invasive lustful thoughts and desires disappear I can then resume my normal activities without being bothered or distracted by them. I only feel that the act of masturbation itself is wrong/unnatural/sinful when I am told these things and think about them, if I dismiss them from my mind I don’t feel as though I am doing anything wrong. I consider myself to be “too old.” to be single but, like I said I can’t really find the right woman. Ideally I feel as though I should have found and married the right woman by now and this would be a non issue if I had.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          • James

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I am a single male, age 31. Out of a devout interest and steadfastness to keep myself sexually pure for the woman God has predestined specifically for me, I have refused multiple opportunities to engage in sexual activity.. including a National beauty pageant winner as well as the eye candy actress in a mainstream movie. I am completely confident that holding out for the lasting affection and satisfaction that my future spouse will provide me with is definitely justifies the long-term gratification approach… which will also introduce a marriage partnership that transcends any superficial pre-marriage sexual encounter. Although to be honest, sustaining self-control and managing a high sex-drive is a ongoing and seemingly insurmountable challenge in the natural. Masturbation is one way to maintain balance for me towards these urges. I thank god for sex-drive as it is a natural motivator for me to propel me towards my wife that I look forward to making passionate and fulfilling love to one day. when The first time I discovered masturbation, I was alone in a jacuzzi tub… I discovered that it felt pleasurable when I place my “private part” in the direction of one of the jets. This of course brought me to the point of ejaculation. That was 6th grade.. I have been experimenting with masturbation and the associated guilt ever since that moment. For what it’s worth, my experience has revealed this to me;

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I feel GUILTY if:
                                                                                                                                                                                                                            When masturbating, I create arousal by imagining sexual interaction with a married person or imagine an encounter with a person outside of God’s plan for my life… such as an encounter that is selfishly motivated to produce sexual satisfaction at the other person’s expense or at the cost of a moral compromising situation. To be more specific, a fictitious or imagined circumstance that God could not honor.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I feel SATISFIED and PURE if:
                                                                                                                                                                                                                            When masturbating, I envision an encounter with the person that I feel God has ordained for me in the future.. and I implement the characteristics (mental and physical) the are a result of the desires that God has place inside of me (Prov 11: “the desire of the righteous is only good” ..Prov 10: “the desire of the righteous is only good” .. so you see, God leads us by desires if we live a lifestyle and allow our choices to be governed by God to maintain discernment).. Anyway, if limit my fantasies and God given imagination to pure physical attributes that I find attractive in a mate.. and if this is a realistic portrayal of who I believe God has predestined for me…. then I have full confidence before the Lord that I am not compromising or entering into sin when masturbating… the end result is that I feel good and have not abused a physical outlet that God has inherently provided us with when he created us.. hands and private parts, lol.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            On a related topic, I have been told that I am a good-looking guy.. If I was to be transparent, I would tell you that I share the frustration that many of you are experiencing of not yet finding a mate and seemingly passing my prime. My greatest desire at this stage of my life.. is to harness this sexual energy and show affection to my future wife in an intense and frequent basis. My prayer is that this scenario materializes sooner than later but I also understand that this just fuels my ambition to become that man that qualifies as the mate the the person I will someday meet… and that prospect gives me continued patience!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I would love to hear your feedback on the above comments I have provided!!


                                                                                                                                                                                                                            • Withheld

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              I, too, struggle with this issue. It’s particularly embarassing for me. I’m a young man, and have found it impossible to completely stop since I first started, eleven years ago. The longest I’ve gone without this particular act is six months; and, by that time, I was having embarassing dreams, which excited me so much that I had to fight to control the consequences. It gets to the point where I don’t have to stimulate myself manually; if I happen to see certain pictures, I… well, we all know what happens. I try to stay away from these pictures, as much as I can. I know that the activities portrayed therein are senseless, and hedonistic. Still, I can’t seem to remain strong enough to resist permanently. In fact, I gave in to temptation just before I came to this article. It’s a shameful thing to me, and I’m struggling with it every month… almost like clock-work. I need prayer, and pray for God to forgive me, in Jesus’ name. Please, withhold my e-mail address. I have posted my name as “Withheld”.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              • Emily

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                So I have also struggled with this issue for years.I talked to my mom once who is also a Christian and she said it is normal.Now though I seem to be doing it all the time and I can’t seem to stop.I pray about it.But it doesn’t go away.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                I’m also very invovled with my church and prayer group and I do sincerly feel God’s presence and He speaks to me so much.So I do not understand still if He thinks that this is bad and why He is still blessing me with His prescence and other things.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Also, this is hard for me to say, but I really really struggle with looking at people getting spanked on the internet.This sounds so weird and perverted, I know.I don’t know how it started, but I seem to like being spanked and I want it to stop.I feel like it’s creating so many issures with me. No one knows.I don’t know if I should tell someone close to me about this and seek their advice or not.It’s soooooo embarassing.I do not know either if looking at bare bottoms would be considered porn.I just feel like such a sick person.I don’t know what to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                • A human

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  to the above person (Emily) or others who…

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  DONT GIVE UP.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  every time you or someone else falls, get back up or help them back up. Dont give up or quit. God knows everytime you commit to Him again.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  –In my weakness God is STRONG.—

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  • David

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    First, try not thinking of anything while you masturbate. Take a deep breath and do it and don’t look down too much keep it sort of meditative. Keep practicing it and think about what you want in a partner. Write it down one day when are lonely/and or you feel you know the kind of person you want inside and out. Keep the qualities in mind and produce a Love fantasy that will make you happy while you masturbate and after and you won’t feel any Evil come from it. Who knows, that person you desire may come soon. Not Kidding-it’s good advice. PORN is dirty and evil REAL LOVING SEX MAKES YOU HAPPY , AND FEEL WHOLE AND PURE

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    • Denis

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Nice to read all the stories, I am a 24 year old male. I have been addicted to pornography since I was 15, and masturbation followed. I was raised in a catholic family and my parents never really talked to me about it, but I am sure my dad knew I was doing it. As I got older I completely lost faith in god and I was masturbating on a daily basis. Its like a drug addiction you cant break free from it controls you. But looking at it now as I got hooked more and more, the pornography got worse and worse and it was like a drug, to get the same High you must experience new content, I know the road I was taking was leading me to nowhere. So a few months ago I almost died I overdosed on energy drinks and prework out supplement and I almost went into cardiac arrest as I had only 30% oxygen left inside of me, as I was in that hospital my heart beating 200 times a minute I ran to god for help in a long time. Its been 3 months now and I am fighting this war I have read the scripture many times over and I have relapsed a couple of times but I have not looked at any porn in weeks and I am still masturbating but now the span seems to get longer, it was daily, now its like once weekly when I cant take it no more or I am going to do something stupid, then I give in.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Everyone suffers from this especially men, its something that all of us keep inside.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Matt

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        I just realized there are many folks posting the same things. Please contact these places I listed above. They have tremendous insight on addictions to porn, sex (fornication, adultry and masterbation). Sex out of married love is what God created for us and when we are in these places we shouldn’t be the demonic is seducing and driving us there. We have to make the choice we will recieve true love from God alone, from what he says in the scripture. If we don’t feel loved by him or others we must go to scripture and reaffirm what God has said about us, because if others are treating us poorly and unlovely it is driven by satans kingdom. If we have been treated poorly and not loved properly satan will use that and push spirits of self hatred, self rejection, guilt (i did something wrong), shame (i am wrong) to beat us up. Here is how it works…we “feel” unloved, and have a broken heart and or a spirit of a broken heart. We get low and know sex (or our addiction) feels good. It releases dopamine (which is supposed to be released with our marriage partner if we have one). So out of a need to be loved, and a seducing spirit we do our thing…porn, masturbation…and we have a temporary feel good for a time as the dopamine is released in our system….shortly it is dpleted and then a spirit of guilt, self rejection comes along with condemenation and lies to us and says now don’t you feel filthy or dirty, or what a horrible nasty thing you did. Self hatred is a spirit that says I know I can do better and not do it next time when we can’t without God’s help. Fantasy lust is a spirit which gets access when a person fantasizes about a person or even a faceless body, alone or during masturbation. I could go on and on…my hope is to help you dear saints. The Bible says in a couple of places, my people perish, or die for lack of knowledge.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        The solution 1st is to get proper teaching on this, and learn what your enemy looks, and sounds like.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        If you pray specifically and tell God you are not in aggreement with the sins and the spirits that intice people to do them, and ask for help, God will help you, if you really want out. This is not a silver bullet, but a lifestyle change. Working with the Holy Spirit to get you free and in closer relationship with your Father God who loves you.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        When you think of these things repent specifically of the sin and that is usually the name of the spirit you are dealing with. Then simply say it’s name, spirit of pornography, or addictions to masturbation, or seduction, or all of those, leave me and go to the dry place in Jesus name. They will mess with you for a while but stay in the Word and if you mess up, forgive yourself, it is ok to not be okay, as long as you are working out of it.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Always listen for a gentle touch from the Holy Spirit. satan will be a cruel taskmaster wanting you to repent of everything and beating you up. Listen for God, when he has you repent he will have the power of the Holy Spirit availible to help you get free.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Sins/spirits to consider: occultism, need for love, approval and acceptance (ungodly type and it is the name of a spirit), self pity, victimization, hopelessness and despair, ungodly grief and sorrow, spirit of a broken heart, masturbation, fornication, adultry, incest, molestation, rape, unclean spirit, guilt, shame, condemnation, self rejection and abandonment, self hatred, self accusation, fear of failure. Add anything God shows you. Remember the Bible says you have authority to tread on serpents and scorpions (devils and demons) and over all the power of teh enemy and nothing will by any means harm you…repent, renounce, and confess, and ask God to forgive you and throw them out…read the Bible and study. Talk to God and tell him specifically what you are dealing with. There is nothing hidden and he knows our status…It isn’t like he has not seen it.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Spirit of addictions falls under occultism. Surprised? Occultism is not just tarot cards and ouji boards, It is going to the lesser satan/sin, rather than the greater God, to get a need met. So out of a need to be lovedd properly, we unknowingly go to the lesser for a temporary fix, and then the lesser beats us up with guilt, candemnation etc…sound familiar. There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the spirit. If you have a heart to do right and are willing, even if you mess up you are not condemned, satan is lying to you. Three steps forward and two steps back is still forward motion and if you fall get up your Father loves you. Forgive yourself quickly. The Bible is present progressive. You are a work in progress and God knows and the Bible is to be read that way. If you look at it as black and white and say I am so filthy I did this, if God operated that way you would be stoned at sundown. You are not and by the nature of you writing and reaching out many of you have a heart for God and he is willing, but you have to follow his plan…because a dry drunk is still a drunk. I mean if you quit by shear will power the sin is still in your heart. The deliverance and turning from the sin and asking God for help during the moment of truth, when you get excited and need to look for love in the wrong place (which is really lust) go to God and say I am over my head and about to do this. I have been in aggreement with satans kingdom and I am weak. Help me! He will show up. Sometimes you will overcome and sometimes you will fail. But keep going and listening to the teachings I named and going through the deliverance. Call them both, the numbers are on the sites I gave. Ask for help. John Aldridge is in the Dallas Ft Worth area. Henry Wright is 70 miles south of Atlanta.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Hope this helps, I will check back for questions. Please check into those teachings and sites….this is the type of Gospel your read about in the book of Acts…I challenge you to let God help you and ask him for skilful and Godly wisdom, understanding and discernemnt about what I wrote you. It usually will be a process so be patient and give yourself a supersized break.


                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        • Matt

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          I read some more posts…

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Masturbation is a form of fornication wich is as sex outside of marriage. Very simply figure what what and why God created the organs. For married people to use within marriage for enjoyment and to have children. Check Song of Solomon on the enjoyment part.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Incubus and Secubee are sexual spirits that attack people during sleep, depending on the sin they are in…look them up with Google.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          If you are single and look upon another single person with lust in your heart, it is not adultry, but fornication, and lust and fantasy lust.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          If you are married and look upon another married or not lusting in your heart it is adultry. If you are single and look upon a married person with lust in your heart it is adultry.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          If you masturbate while married looking upon pornography it is adultry.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          If you masturbate while single looking upon pornography it is fornication.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Okay things that are in the the heart and not acted upon are still sins. The heart must be dealt with. Remember when Jesus told the pharisees they were white washed tombs. It was because the outwardly attempted to do and act holy, and never dealt with the sins in their heart which I discussed briefly in the other two posts earlier.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Fantasizing about anyone is sin, sex must come out of a real love first relationship where you are married and the sex is a by product of the love for one another. If anyone becomes a taker then love is not operating. Further the wife and teh husband are to give each other due benevolence. Which means our love must come from God alone individually and we give it to each other without expectation. Then there are are no expectations in which we grow bitter…the sex addiction can go into marriage and if one is a taker or both have a sexual addiction that is a form of defilement in the marriage bed.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Something most do not know about virginity is when both are virgins and they are married at the act of consumation, blood is released from the hymin as it is broken. This is a now a marriage with a blood covenant. Mercy, grace, and love, if you are not a virgin and looking to get married don’t be condemned, God knows we live in a fallen world and He will forgive us, and though we may not get the deal from virginity he will restore things. Gods intention was two virgins, man and women marry and form a blood covenant by the consumation under Him, and the very first dopamine release occurs and when it does the two were with each other and had that wonderful feeling together and they connect in it and it creates a bond that would normally empower them to always be faithful to each other. Unless of course one or both of them carried a generational spirit of adultry and lust. I have one set of grandparents that were the exception and lived that.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Hope this helps and will hang out on this site for a few days…


                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          • Ann Onimous

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            The practice of masturbation will lead to a habit and a stronghold that will not easily be broken. The guilt will eat away at your soul and will hold you back in your relationship with the Lord.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I know of what I speak. I’m an older single Christian female who has struggled with it since adolescence. It’s easy to deceive yourself into thinking M. is not a sin, that you aren’t hurting anybody or even that you deserve a little self-gratification. After all, if the Lord isn’t providing a spouse…. Then if you break free of the deception and acknowledge your need to repent, you have a life-long battle ahead of you.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. ” – Gal. 6:7-8

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            • Nate

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              I too struggled with masturbation and pornography and I know well the physical urges that drive toward them. But, I hope what I’m about to share will help you in your resistance to such temptations, because I’ve come learn the consequence they bring.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Like most Christians, I prayed for a long time that a godly woman would appear in my life as I felt a deep sense of loneliness. Believing that no one was watching me, I started to experiment with masturbation, which led to pornography. They seemed like drugs that gave temporary satisfaction. However, as time dragged on, I became desensitized to sexuality. My views of women started to change and my desires for sexual activities only grew stronger. The sinful nature of porn became less and less obvious in my mind, and my resistance to it became weaker and weaker. Then, I met a godly woman, who was smart, beautiful, and funny. We had great chemistry, and she wanted to keep her physical purity. Things were going great for a while. But, my mentality was changed so much by pornography that I started to demand things in the relationship that I would not ever have. Out of lust, I pressured her and said things to her that greatly hurt her feelings. Soon enough, I lost her at a time when I began to fall in love with her. It was sudden and devastating to me. But God used our break-up to show me my sins and the consequences that they bring. Brothers and sisters, make no mistake, you reap what sow. Sin spreads like a yeast in the most subtle ways, starting from what seems like harmless fun. For those who are serious about faith and desire a Christian mate who is faithful to God, please know that masturbation and pornography will change your perspective towards relationships, sexual purity, and intimacy in ways you will not expect. It is for your own good to avoid them, and I say this because I don’t wish anyone to experience the regret and grief that sadden my heart. I leave you with Ephesians 5, not out of judgement but out of love, and I hope this post will help you not to make some mistakes I’ve made.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              • Dean

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Sex. It’s what the world desires and craves and longs to experience. I don’t need to preach. Everyone here has heard all the scriptures, heard all the opinions etc.. My answer won’t matter here, as everyone has contrasting opinions and people will fight strongly over it. I just want to share what i feel God has shown me. I’m a very legalistic person. Not always a good thing. I battle with the smallest details regarding sin. But God LOVES us- he does desire for us to be happy. I have read many a comment that has irritated me, and many a comment that i’ve thought, wow, that’s a bit bold. We can argue about pleasure, glory, guilt, feelings, emotions, connections etc. And many present good cases. My point is not give you an answer, my point is basically to those who argue to the extent that they’ve lost this. Love. The most important commandment. And i believe it ties in with everything in the law, including masturbation. Why does God give us the law? Is it for God? Or is it for us? Does our following the law benefit God? Or does it benefit us? Do not murder, do not steal, do not bear false witness etc. Aren’t these all for our own good? Keeping them benefits us spiritually and in this life right now. And they’re summed up in love. God gave us the law not to benefit him, to benefit US, because he LOVES US. And we keep the law by loving God, others. And yes, ourselves. The answer to masturbation is in love. Not in guilt, feelings, emotions, physical reactions… Is masturbation a gift from God to show love to those destined to be single? How sad would it be to miss that? Ask yourself, ask God- why would God oppose masturbation? Seriously think about it. I can tell you why he opposes murder, idolatory, stealing, fornication etc- and most of the reasons are for your benefit. God does not give a law just for the hell of it. It’s not a “try obey this one” kind of game. It’s about living life to the full and being set apart. That’s the law. Feelings are often deceptive. The other side is this. We are told to run from temptation. Does masturbation tempt you in a uncontrollable way? Can you do it without lustful thoughts, and yes, of course it is possible. Erections can be spontaneous and masturbation can be done focused on pure excitement- but can you do it? Does it lead you to thoughts that pollute your heart and mess your brain and hurt your future spouse? Is masturbation taking away your love for God by becoming your master, or is it strengthening it by being viewed as a gift. It is certainly not the hand touching the genitals that is wrong. Because then bathing, showering, scratching, massaging would all be sin. It’s a matter of the heart. And love. How does masturbation effect your heart? Then bring that to God. Then decide. People will differ, just like tatoos and eating meat etc. You decide whether masturbation grows you or stops you, and even then bring it to God. Judge it by the fruit it bears. The fruit you bear because of it. We are not called to judge or convince people who eat or don’t eat meat etc. Why are we doin the same with masturbation? Love matters. Sex matters. Your heart matters. Masturbation matters. YOU matter God matters. Can we get back to love and the heart of God? What was God’s heart when he created the genitals, the hands, sexual desire and expression? Was it legalism? Or a love for you? A gift? The trick is to figure out when this gift is being abused and when it is being cherished and used. I know this answer is irritating. But just remember, God is not just stuck in the super spiritual world, he was here too. And at that time, freedom, discipline, joy, happiness, gifts, law all mattered to God. And it still does. There is an answer. It just MIGHT be different for everyone.. Just like not everyone is called to live in poverty or become a martyr.. Food for thought. I don’t know it all. I’m also just learning

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                • Chris

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I’m 19 year old male currently taking an online school. The struggle of not looking at porn to masturbate or any sexual stuff online is hard enough since I’m in my room on the computer a lot.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  But what works best for me is taking one day at a time, even if you have to pray every five minutes to God not be tempted and think lustfully, do it. Fighting sin is not easy but if you give yourself to God he can make what you think is impossible possible.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I know thinking lustfully and looking at porn is a sin, but I still don’t know wether masturbation is a sin. I’m just praying every time I’m tempted God will speak to me and give me the strength to get through it.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  • Patience

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    the bible says in 2 timothy 3:22 flee the evil desires of your youth.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I also struggled with the issue but i came to a point of getting real and naked before God to be completely delivered from the act.It took me studying more of the word and total dependence on the holy spirit for help.And believe me its a process, i call it dying daily, as i crucify my flesh and its desires.I relapsed alot still do but i get up crawl before my Father who knows the shame that comees along with it and restores me.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    To those who donot think its a sin please hear this, the Bible is true, meditate on the relevant scriptures and ask the Holy Spirit to unravel the truth of the sriptures.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Ephesians 5 talks about the fruits of the flesh which are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity( which includes masturbation, lust) fornication and the rest .It further went on to talk about the fruits of the Spirit(gentleness, self control, etc) which we should crave or desire.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1John 1;9 talks about the faithfullnes nad willingness of God to forgive our sins.) There is grace and mercy in God, He longs to restore us and reconcile us to Himself( tHE BOOK OF jOEL).

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    To those who have given up and condemn yourself, God would never give up on you, and the Bible says if your heart condemns you ( forinstance when u dont feel forgiven or keep on falling over and over) God is bigger than your heart.Thruogh the grace of God you can and will make it provided u cooperate with the Holy Spirit.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Desire to be pure , pursure it,crave the spiritual food for with it its enlightenment, restoration peace , purity and ….u can me it.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    ABOVE ALL ELSE GUARD YOUR HEART FOR OUT OF IT COMES THE ISSUES OF LIFE/ FOR IT IS THE WELLSPRING OF YOUR LIFE.AND ABOVE STAND BUCKELED WITH THE AMOUR OF GOD AND THE BREASTPLATE OF RIGHTEUOSNESS.MATCH ON SOLDIERS!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    • Struggling

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I’m an 18 year old woman who struggles with masturbation…
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I’ve never told anyone, even typing this is difficult for me, but I need support.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I love God with all my heart and have been struggling with this guilt for 5 years. It frustrates me so much. I can go for a long time without committing this sin, but then I crash one day and feel horrible.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I feel desperate. I long for a husband, I long for a pure sexual relationship. I’ve never had any sexual relations with anyone… only myself. I feel disgusting by saying that. I feel mad at myself.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I hate being human. I want to honor God and live for Him. He has my everything, I’ve been baptized, my life is in His hands. So why do I still struggle??? It’s maddening.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      God, forgive me.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • bob

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        you do more harm by trying not to masturbate…

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        get over it…

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        get it out of your system…dont beat yourself up…….just beat it!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        its actually a healthy thing to do… want to load it up with false guilt and angst……you are heading for a breakdown….

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        its just wanking…get over it.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        • Chuck Bee

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          The posting on February 14th, 2011 at 3:56 pm says it all. After reading most of the other posts I just couldn’t find the right answer to my situation. I have struggled with this subject ever sine my wife of 40 years decided that she did not want sex in our lives anymore. Being an elderly Christian man I decided that going out and finding sex elsewhere just wasn’t the thing to do so I turned to masturbation. After masturbating I always felt guilty like I was cheating on my wife. Now after reading this post, doing some real soul searching, and praying about the subject, I feel my quilt is gone and God understands that what I am doing is okay. Thank you to God and the poster for helping me with my problem.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          • alex

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            well this is hard to write but i do not know when i first masturbated because i was abused as i kid by quite a few different people both men and women my early memory is two so i guess it was then. masturbation has always been an addiction and i find it hard an hopeless to stop i have gone mouths without it but gone cross eyed in the process i used to get a hard own just looking at a woman without any bad thoughts .i have try ed counseling ,cold showers but in all it didn’t work . to those people who think that just getting married will solve the problem your wrong .i was and i still would masturbate when i needed to .i am a single parent now with a three year old so hope of dating is gone .i masturbate because one i don’t wont my kid to see me with a hard on .and i don’t wont other people seeing me with one when i am walking down the street ……..its hard but what else can i do cut it off because it is causing me to sin …..please pray 4 me pray that i will find that someone and 4 me and my kid ………or god will stop me getting a hard on lol… is hard Jesus didn’t say that it would be ezy and i also think that one answer might be for everyone because we all have different life’s and different situations

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            • John

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Im not sure if this has been mentioned yet or not. But there are God-given herbs out there that can be taken to balance out the hormones when one is feeling exrtremely aroused sexually. Licorice Root being one of my favorites, works everytime for me. A chinese herb Dong Qaui is another.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Just search online for anaphrodisac/antiaphrodisiac herbs.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              • Marshall

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                As far as you saying that you can’t control masterbating, let me offer this…

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                It says in Matthew 19:26 “Believe, for with God, all things are possible.”

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                It says in the Bible that if we commit adultery in our heart, we have done it. We are accountable for our thoughts. So, in my opinion, masterbation is sinning.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                There is a book out there called “Every Man’s Battle”. I would recommend you read it when you can. I know for me, I really watch what I allow myself to read, listen to, and watch. Like they say, garbage in, garbage out, and as Christians, we are to be the salt and the light of the world. Living IN the world, but not OF it.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                For all of us waiting for God to bring that special someone into our life, I believe holding ourselves accountable with not masturbating is very important. If we can’t control our thought life while we are single, how can we expect God to bring His one for us into our lives.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                God Bless

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                • dick

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Masturbation, not mentioned in the bible…this is so confusing. most times i wonder why God decides to be dormant about such an issue that is eating almost every christian youth up. well, after masturbation guilt struck, this is the reason why we must avoid it as christians

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  • Brian Organ

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I am 45 years old and come from a broken home and my parents divorced when i was 10. When i was a teenager my dad would have dirty magazines that i would find. I think i have masterbated too much since i was a teenager, and with all the sex that telivision and movies glorify on T.V. no wonder teenagers (both boys and girls) have these issues. and today the comercials that don’t just advertise underwear but shows attractive men and woman running around in there skivies. Telivision has changed over the years. and you young parents can control what your child watches on tv but must start controling as soon as your child is old enough to watch tv. some familys don’t have telivision, they do, but not with cable or satelite because of all the sin that is seen. (Good For Them) Most of us as trying to be a good Christian Know what perversion is. I do believe that masterbation (God allows us to pleasure ourselves) is a gift from god. I do believe you can do it too mutch. Not the masterbation itself a sin, but it is the perverted thoughts you have while masterbating. Not even a full year ago i started praying to god to fill me with the holly spirit before i would self pleasure myself to take away perverted thoughts from my mind. it did not work right away because satan is always atacking us, but after a while it did work for me. there are more than 30,000 scriptures in the bible, many verses saying its a sin or you will not make it to the kingdom of heaven if you live the wrong life style. do i still strugle with perversion and sin? yes i do, but will not give up on god and i am determined not to let satan beat me up. I feel it is better to masterbate than to phisicaly have sex with someone before marriage which god says is a sin. I am also doing research to see if small groups of christian men and woman can pray to god and ask that no perverted thoughts enter their minds before masterbating together. (masterbation fellowship) You ask why? I like to think that kind of friendship somone might give advice on a better way to pleasure yourself. How can it be wrong if no sex involved and we only touching ourselves and there is no perverted thoughts and every body prays before they get started? Where in the Bible it says masterbation alone is a sin or you will not go to heaven because of it? as for myself, I do this twice a day sometimes. thought it would be better not to do this by myself (whitch is every day) and only do it in small groups of Christian friends. Once or twice a week or so is better than every day, And with constant prayer i would feel better about myself and have more energy. Any thoughts or comments or advice from my Christian Brothers and sisters please let me know at ( God bless

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    • aguaysed

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      In my opinion, masturbation is OK. However, not in EVERY circumstance. I’ll explain. God wants us to save our virvinity for that special someone with whom we want to spend the rest of our lives. Still, it is a constant struggle, and every Christian person will agree with me, staying pure. This is because we are HUMAN and have HUMAN NEEDS. Anatomically speaking, masturbation is a necessity. Just like you when eat when feeling hungry, you respond to your sexual urges when they arise. AND THAT’S OK, as long as you DON’T have perverse thoughts while doing it. Now this, you must be thinking, is the hard part… and it is! Personally, it is hard for me to do it without thinking of my boyfriend, but I HAVE done it without doing so. Just try to think of it as a physical necessity, rather than something forbidden by God. God gave us this body, and He wants us to keep it as “neat and tidy” as possible for marriage. However, you would agree with me in that no matter how hard you try to abstent from masturbating, sexual impulses will arise very often. This is how our body works. This is supposed to happen, because this is how God created us. The problem is that there is a very thin line between what is sexual immorality and what is not. I believe that as long as you do it just for the sake of satisfying that physical need which WILL NOT LEAVE (no matter how hard you try of keeping it away from your mind), God will not be angry at us. But, if you watch pornography while doing it, have someone else to do it for you or have “nasty” thoughts when doing it, you ARE commiting sexual immorality. “What difference can it make? Masturbation is masturbation.” you might be asking yourself. Oh, a big one. Having mutual masturbation with a partner is sin, in my opinion, because you two are OBVIOUSLY engaging in sex-like actions and sex-like THOUGHTS. Therefore, you are doing it out of lust, not necessity. In porn’s case, it is simple seeing why it is a sin. First of all, the act of making porn is morally wrong. Two, three and sometimes even more people fornicating on camera for money and/or pure fun? I mean come on. Also, watching it is TOO morally wrong. Why? You are supporting it by watching it! If you think it is wrong (the porn industry), then why would you give in to porn and, worse, masturbate to it?
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Again, my friends, there is a fine line between what is right and what is wrong. I do not believe God thinks of us as sinners for masturbating. Doing it in excess and doing it in the circumstances explained above, is what could be considered sin. Let me provide another example to prove my point. Eating is a necessity. Eating in excess is gluttony, and gluttony is a sin (Phillippians 3:19). The same goes for masturbation. You cannot and will not EVER be able to control your bodily needs. HOW you respond to those needs is the essential question, and only YOU have the answer to it.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      P.S. Praying can help a lot when struggling with this. In my case, I pray to God for clean thoughts. Also, when being in “that” situation and I’m having unpure thoughts, I try to think of God, and I swear that it’s an instant turn off because I imagine him going “tsk tsk”. Just some advice. Good luck!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Frank Castle

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        God gave us guilt to know when we’ve done something that conflicts with His commands and so we can correct ourselves.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        • Sam

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Here’s my problem – I have been struggling with this problem for years and simply, I don’t want it anymore. I have bought porn, went to websites, paid and saw girls perform live acts online. It deeply disturb me and I have had enough. I don’t want it anymore! It’s killing me! There were days when I should have brought food for myself and stuff I needed for my life. What did I do? I bought porn! I hate myself and I beg God for his forgiveness,

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          I have kissed a girl, however, I have never dated a woman. I wait for my future wife that God has promised me. He has promised me many things and I know they are definite. However, this promise for a girlfriend-to-wife was made when I was in the eighth grade. That has been over a decade. The wait is killing my soul. All I wanted was happiness from God in the form of a woman ever since I was a boy. Today, I am still that boy begging God for his one and only. God loves me and I love him so much, I just need him to come through for me before it’s too late,

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          • Ayanda

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            im a bit dissapointed with this site. Coz maturbation opens doors to, incest, pornography, bastuality. The devil is cunning.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            • Ayanda

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              And to those who say theres nothing wrong. I bet you feel ashamed knowing, that your spouse doesnt please you anymore coz you masturbate. You feel ashamed that you dont have a man. You feel ashamed that the causes could be from the pain of lonliness and rejection you faced as a child.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              I could go on and on, but masturbation evokes shame and low self esteem even subconsciously. Dont act like you dont know.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              • Joseline

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Noone can understand masturbation until you have been there, tried to stop and not able. It is more like alcohol addition but there is no rehab for it nor support groups. I dont know and this is hard to write but when I knew myself I was masturbating therefore I must have began at childhood. Before I got born again, it was nor problem, there was no guilt and I just went on and on.But now for over ten years, I have struggled to stop but with the guilt and feeling that like Paul I want to beat your body to subject to the will of God, and with prayer, I have not succeeded. It is even worse as a single parent since I have been in a relationship and there is a loneliness in my life what comes up late in the night.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                You cannot condemn someone who is struggling to quit a life long habit. Pray that the mercies of God will be new every morning upon all those struggling with it. I wish there was a way out but I know better

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                • Natalie Williams

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I just want to tell you all there is HOPE! JESUS, He is so AWESOME- God is good! I had that issue as a child & fought w/it into my 30’s. Through the help of the holy spirit By the time I started reaching that age, HE DELIVERED ME! I have been free, it is an awesome feeling! The enemy will try & attack in the sleep-dream state, BUT GOD is stronger-YOU CAN OVERCOME-But only thru HIM! Keep searching, keep loving Jesus, do focus on HIS word, HE IS JUST & RIGHTEOUS in ALL HIS ways! Know that what you struggle with, HE knnows & HE wants you FREE! HE WILL SET you FREE! I am living proof of that! There is nothing I hate more since 29-30yrs. of age than porn. When the enemy comes in like a flood- The LORD says I shall RAISE up a standard against him. Keep up the GOOD fight of faith, keep on loving Jesus, HE knows what is in your heart, PRAISE HIM for the deliverance, whether your circumstances-symptoms show different, JUST KEEP ON THANKING HIM PRAISING & before you know it you will be FREE in HIM! I have been free for 11 yrs. You can be too, there is HOPE in HIM! The Psalms helped me in many ways as I prayed day & night for freedom. I wrote to God about the monkey I could feel on my back, HE answered thru HIS word & SPIRIT. So each of you hang in there, FREEDOM DOES COME, & when you see That FREEDOM don’t ALLOW ANY possible doors to open @ all, embrace that FREEDOM which HE freely GAVE. This would have been difficult to write long ago, because I understand judging, trust me……..& it kept me in fear of a walking living breathing AWESOME testimony GOD gave me FREELY thru JESUS……I don’t live there anymore. It feels so good, to say “NO, I HATE porn & masturbation & DO NOT please myself, for it is not GODLY.” In the world you have to also stand up & state your life for JESUS, I do not fear the convo anymore, I enjoy telling others when they ask or talk about it. Many will also tell you it is alright, no it is not. When you are TRULY saved you know when conviction hits you, or you wouldn’t be here asking for answers, seeking freedom..Conviction is GOOD, it is a way for us to know that GOD is there! When you do not feel that conviction for what you are doing that is wrong in Gods eyes– IS when you should ask yourself some tough questions about your faith in HIM. God Bless & Know that HE is ABLE & HE IS THERE-HE hears the cries of HIS children & HE DOES ANSWER! Love in Christ Jesus Our Lord & Saviour!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  • Natalie Williams

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    P.S. ABSTINENCE IS AVAILABLE & ABLE TO STAND BUT ONLY W/ & THRU HIM….I know I am living proof of that FOR YRS. My friends & others did not believe I could do it, But you know what I DIDN’T GOD, His HOLY Spirit HELPED ME! Thru HIM YOU ARE & CAN BE ABLE! I am still walking w/ Him thru it! Engaged for a yr. now, & have not stumbled. So KNOW that EVERYTHING IS possible W/ HIM!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    • P.D.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      When I was 16, I was an impressionable, credulous teenager who was lonely. I was taken in by a Church near to my home who introduced me to the Bible and to Jesus. They taught me the doctrine of hell, and the idea that if I became born again, I would be saved from it. A sign that I was reborn, I was told, was that I would no longer feel the need to masturbate.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      By now, my hormones were raging. I would pray, in my terror of hell, that Jesus would deliver me from masturbation, but the urges persisted with a vengeance. I attempted to suppress those urges with pain by mutilating my arms with a razor blade, but it was futile. I lost sleep at night thinking that if the urges were still there, that meant I wasn’t ‘born again’ and so I was bound for hell. I wanted to commit suicide but was afraid of doing so for fear of going straight to a place of eternal torture. I petitioned God to reach back in time and prevent me from ever being conceived so that I would never have existed in the first place.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Ultimately, I suffered a nervous breakdown at the age of 17.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      When are you going to stop doing this to yourselves and others? Masturbation is a response to involuntary hormonal activity and carries with it so many health benefits. I no longer believe that this god even exists, but clearly you do. I have studied the Bible in depth, and discovered a truly horrific deity – one who sanctions slavery, torture, infanticide, genocide, rape, animal cruelty and torturing people eternally simply for daring to disagree with him. And yet you say he is a god of UNCONDITIONAL love? Ask yourselves, even if you are merely trying to avoid ‘hell,’ – why would you want to spend eternity with this cruel entity?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      On the issue of Matthew 5:28, (I feel you have a right to at least know this, because your pastors certainly won’t tell you!) this passage is often quoted as the endorsement of criminalizing sexual thoughts, but in its historical context, it is actually a re-iteration of the tenth commandment (Exodus 20:17) – do not covet your neighbour’s property (his wife – included among land, oxen, maid-servant, slave and any other chattel.) The word ‘lustfully’ as it appears in Matthew 5:28 is actually a fraudulent mistranslation found in more recent editions of the Bible. The passage is actually referring to ancient Jewish proprietary rights and the objectification of women and has no relevance to twenty-first century teenagers masturbating to pornography. In our civilization, we no longer view women as property, just as we don’t accept slavery as moral (as Jesus apparently did: Colossians 3:22.)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I implore you all – leave the Bronze Age behind and find the power of reason.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Jocelyn

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        PD, I’ll be praying for you. God is a God of unconditional love who gives us free will to love Him and others. If He forced you to love Him, it’s not real love. You obviously don’t understand the Gospel or even the context of the verses you posted.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        • Grace

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          “And yet you say he is a god of UNCONDITIONAL love? Ask yourselves, even if you are merely trying to avoid ‘hell,’ – why would you want to spend eternity with this cruel entity?”

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Reading your comment, it is clear that despite what you were told by your church, you never knew Him. The picture you paint is one-sided and false: you plainly have not “studied the Bible in depth”.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          I suggest that you repent humbly and ask His forgiveness — if your repentance is genuine, He will not turn you away. …And neither will He magically remove your sexual desires (if indeed that is what your church told you).

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          • Unknown

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I still currently have trouble with this problem, but for all of you who are reading this… follow the will of God, and all things will go right as stated in Dueteronomy 6:18 “Do what the Lord says is good and right, and things shall go well with you”
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            REMEMBER this verse, were all humans, we have sexually temptations, but do your best to avoid such thoughts and wait for the partner God has set for you! 🙂 God loves you, and forgives such things, but dont keep doing them!! Ask God to make a new life for you and follow him with a new fresh start!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            • P.D.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Thank you for inviting me to speak my mind.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              When I was 16, I was an impressionable, credulous teenager who was lonely. I was taken in by a Church near to my home who introduced me to the Bible and to Jesus. They taught me the doctrine of hell, and the idea that if I became born again, I would be saved from it. A sign that I was reborn, I was told, was that I would no longer feel the need to masturbate.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              By now, my hormones were raging. I would pray, in my terror of hell, that Jesus would deliver me from masturbation, but the urges persisted with a vengeance. I attempted to suppress those urges with pain by mutilating my arms with a razor blade, but it was futile. I lost sleep at night thinking that if the urges were still there, that meant I wasn’t ‘born again’ and so I was bound for hell. I wanted to commit suicide but was afraid of doing so for fear of going straight to a place of eternal torture. I petitioned God to reach back in time and prevent me from ever being conceived so that I would never have existed in the first place.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Ultimately, I suffered a nervous breakdown at the age of 17.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              When are you going to stop doing this to yourselves and others? Masturbation is a response to involuntary hormonal activity and carries with it so many health benefits. I no longer believe that this god even exists, but clearly you do. I have studied the Bible in depth, and discovered a truly horrific deity – one who sanctions slavery, torture, infanticide, genocide, rape, animal cruelty and torturing people eternally simply for daring to disagree with him. And yet you say he is a god of UNCONDITIONAL love? Ask yourselves, even if you are merely trying to avoid ‘hell,’ – why would you want to spend eternity with this cruel entity?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              On the issue of Matthew 5:28, (I feel you have a right to at least know this, because your pastors certainly won’t tell you!) this passage is often quoted as the endorsement of criminalizing sexual thoughts, but in its historical context, it is actually a re-iteration of the tenth commandment (Exodus 20:17) – do not covet your neighbour’s property (his wife – included among land, oxen, maid-servant, slave and any other chattel.) The word ‘lustfully’ as it appears in Matthew 5:28 is actually a fraudulent mistranslation found in more recent editions of the Bible. The passage is actually referring to ancient Jewish proprietary rights and the objectification of women and has no relevance to twenty-first century teenagers masturbating to pornography. In our civilization, we no longer view women as property, just as we don’t accept slavery as moral (as Jesus apparently did: Colossians 3:22.)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              I implore you all – leave the Bronze Age behind and find the power of reason.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              • brcc

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                I’m one of those people who as a child (4 yrs old, maybe younger) masturbated. The problem is my parents never were attentive enough to know I was doing it and it has turned into a lifelong problem that to this day I cannot get under control. Now, you’re going to tell me that as a Christian woman I should just accept it and try not to think about sex as I’m having sex with myself?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Honestly, I think a lot of you don’t even know how it feels when sex becomes something you don’t want to do but you do anyway (and I’m not talking about rape or consenting with a spouse when you don’t feel like it). I mean, you really can’t stop.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                And some of you who judge people who masturbate may need to rethink some of the things you do in daily lives that God sees as perverse, like watching rated R movies, letting your kids trick or treat, or telling a white lie. God sees all sin as sin, and I’m going to feel guilty for mine until I change. Maybe you should take a look at yourself and try to change some things too.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                • Nobody88

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Masturbation is tuff to quite. Porn, hjs from somebody and lust r sins. It is a bad habit. And I’d be lying if I said I never struggled. I’m just saying it is better than burning with lust. Take care of it in a healthy way an it isn’t wrong in of itself.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  • jj

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Dear Single Brothers and Sisters In The Lord:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    There are just as many arguments for releasing your sexual desires in this way as there are against. Clearly, many of us go thru all kinds of emotions, guilt, embarrassment, guilt again, and even some more guilt. Just as clear, it is something that is serious and important to you……which means it’s also important to GOD. Therefore, you should not feel guilty taking it to him and being honest about it and asking GOD for clarity and direction on this. The ONE THING all of us seek is HIS answers “once and for all”. It’s true, scripture does not address this subject specifically, and one poster explained it very well by saying it’s a private matter between you and GOD. Like it or not, when we became Christians, we did NOT all of a sudden lose our sexual desires. As a single person, it’s not like your spouse is going to make themselves available to fulfill that GOD given desire. So, what do you do? Suppressing that desire only makes it come back stronger the next time. Very few of us sincerely desire to go outside of our fidelity to GOD to satisfy this need. For the ones that do…….the price you pay for that will be far greater than NOT sexing up with others. Sleeping around will only make you feel more empty inside and who wants that? The real question is………how do you satisfy your sexual urges in a way that will at least NOT bring dishonor to our loving heavenly father? If you have a close personal relationship with GOD, have you taken the time to get the direction you need on this subject? The one thing I encourage all of you to do is NOT condemn yourself over it. There is a way to find a healthy balance and yes I do know that he can re-direct those same sexual urges into other area’s of your life. That is especially true if you find yourself bombarded with your libido. As for porn being your visual TV (you all know what I’m talking about)…………when was the last time you saw porn where it was portrayed in a LOVING, intimate, self (less) way? GOD IS LOVE and there is NO WAY he can be glorified in this medium. That is a road to nowhere. Some have said that they think of their future spouse when they masturbate. That’s about as close as one can get to the intimacy they deserve and seek. Sorry for the long post here folks, but the bottom line here is that each one of us was created as light, we live in a body of flesh and that flesh has healthy GOD given desires which is not something to be ashamed over. But, we can ask GOD to give us a balance and control over it in a way that will indeed be acceptable. If you are struggling with what’s right or what’s wrong………..the LAST thing you want to do is beat yourself up over it. GOD wants you walking in victory and in light as he is in the light. Ask yourself this question…when you satisfy sexually, do you lose your love for GOD? or is it more like the accuser comes in to lay guilt all over you. May all of you find the peace about the fact that you are sexual beings regardless of what some well meaning Christians would have you think otherwise. The key is to NOT let it have dominion over you.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    • Jumbledog

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Hi. I am very confused by the answers on there that say it’s ok to masturbate as long as you don’t have lustful or perverted thoughts. Firstly, how on earth is this possible, as by nature sexual desire if not a pure desire out of love for another person, is lust…in other words, to have pure and holy sex it must be only out of love for your spouse. What do people class as lustful or perverted thoughts? One person’s perverted is another persons normal. But the lustful thoughts thing… I’ve read this before in an article by Nicky Gumbel of the Alpha course… I just don’t understand how on earth you are supposed to masturbute without having lustful thoughts. It’s those thoughts which make you feel that way… we are programmed as men and women to have physical desires towards the opposite sex (unless yo are gay and I’m not going into that here), to desire their bodies and sexual organs, and getting “horny” happens quite spontaneously and those desires come into your mind…probably with vivid imagery, but depending on how imaginative you are as a person. There are certain times I just can’t stop thinking about sex and the opposite sex. I wouldnm’t even feel those desires normally without those thoughts happening first… though sometimes sexual feelings can arise from other things, but the thoughts and feelings go hand in hand… otherwise what are we feeling sexy about anyway? Sexual desire comes from a basic desire to have sex… masturbation is the way of expressing this when on your own and not having a spouse to do so with (not that the spouse would necessarily always want to do it when you do either… marriage is about two people who have their own minds…) Anyway, I am a Christian who struggles with knowing if it is a sin or not. I’m not married and not likely to be so, fed up with having to feel guilty all the time.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Virginia Robles

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        I do stuggle in my single life and yes, I feel so sorry for what I do sometimes and I want to respect any feelings that I may have, so I pray and will let God be in control of my body. This body that God created is his and I have no right to disobey God’s word.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Just to let other single people know you are not alone and if you earnestly pray to God, he will help you and control any feelings you have.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        May God Bless each of us.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        • inkaboutit4ucom

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          MASTURBATION Is NOT A sin in the Bible.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Masturbation is clearly described in the Bible in Lev 15:16-20 and clearly NO SIN OFFERING IS REQUIRED.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Meaning under the most strictest ceremonial Law in the Bible, Masturbation is clearly NOT a sin at all. That would also include the normal loving sexual fantasies that go along with sexual enjoyment.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          No other Bible verses in all the Bible descride masturbation and clearly show it is NOT a sin of any kind but it clearly a wonderful gift of God for all to enjoy with over 50 benefits.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          • Laila

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I am a 23 year old born-again Christian woman. I have never been in a relationship with another person because I wish to wait for God to lead me to the right man.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I have been masturbating since I was 18. I’ve never used pornography. I rarely use anything other than my hands to masturbate. I always masturbate to orgasm. I masturbate for two reasons:
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1) to relieve my sexual desires. If I go for more than a month without masturbating, I start fantasizing about people I am not attracted to and sometimes, (this is even worse), I get dirty dreams.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            2) to fall asleep! Believe it or not, an orgasm puts me to sleep right away! If I’m tossing and turning in bed and I know that I need a good night’s sleep in order to be functional the next day, then I will masturbate even though I don’t particularly want to.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Whatever the reason, I always struggle with guilt when I wake up the next morning. I know that my body is a temple of God. I want to reserve my sexual feelings for the person I marry (If God wants me to marry). But my desires are too strong for my will power. I have tried to ‘quit’ several times, but eventually the need always returns. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. I know that I can only free myself from masturbation if I completely surrender to the power of the Holy Spirit. Please pray for me.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            • Edenic Panacea

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Leviticus 15:16 – 18 is the only piece of scripture that relates to masturbation/act of sexual self stimulation which specifically target male practioners only! Males who had an emission whenever by sexual intercourse or self-stimulation must bathe in water/get a wash-up & be unclean until nightfall which includes every clothing, animal hide accessories, and/or the female he had sex with.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Leviticus 15:16 – 18
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              “And if any man’s seed of copulation go out from him, then he shall wash all his flesh in water, and be unclean until the even. And every garment, and every skin, whereon is the seed of copulation, shall be washed with water, and be unclean until the even. The woman also with whom man shall lie with seed of copulation, they shall both bathe themselves in water, and be unclean until the even.”

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Note: Leviticus 15:16 – 18 never ever talked to women sexually self-stimulating themselves, Pissing, emission of feces, and usage of sex toy usage whatsoever at all!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Overall, These verses does not (I repeat “does not”) constitute cumming/ejaculating on sexual genitelia and any part of the body rather than inside the uterus, masturbation/sexual self stimulation, and mental thinking of sexual fantasies as a wicked act towards the Most High which is punishable by death, a sinful act that is heavily discouraged, or requires a sin offering.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              BTW: Ejaculation outside the female uterus, in the contextual way of me saying this phrase, is “Facial”, “Ejaculation on the body”, “Ejaculation in mouth”, “Anal Creampie”, and so on.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              To direct Lev 15:16 – 18 to say that ejaculation outside the female uterus along with mental sexual fantasies and/or ejaculation outside the female uterus is a sin = Violation of The 10 commandments of God on 9th commandment “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour” by doing the wicked act talked about in Deuteronomy 4:2!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              The condemnation upon sexual self-stimulation, ejaculation outside the female uterus, and sexual fantasizing is not only 100% wrong & 100% based on deception, but within the realm of “borderline psychotic”!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Genesis 38:8 – 10 is where people get the wrong idea on Masturbation/Sexual self-stimulation! On the opposite:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Genesis 38:8 – 10 is Onan not honoring his father’s wishes which Exodus 20:12, Exodus 21:15, Exodus 21:17, Leviticus 19:3, Leviticus 20:9, and Deuteronomy 27:16 is more than enough evidence to show how dishonoring and/or rebelling your father or mother is a crime worthy of death.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              PS (to nail the point accurately):

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Unclean said in Lev 15:16 – 18 is Strong’s H2930 – tame’ which defines uncleanness in either in the sexual sense, religious sense, or ceremonial sense.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              In the case of Lev 15:16 – 18, semenial ejaculation made the man “unclean” in the ceremonial sense where he can’t enter into the tabernacle of the Most High/God as the same with…

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              -Women who give birth to children (Lev 12:1 – 8)
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              – People afflicted with leprosy (Lev 13)
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              – A Leper (Lev 14:1 – 57)
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              – A man that had a running issue out of his flesh (Lev 15:1 – 15)
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              – A Woman in her menstrual period (Lev 15:19 – 30)
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              – A person who ate meat of an clean animal (Lev 11) either died by itself prior to being eaten or consumed by carnivorous animals (Lev 17:15)
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              – A Person who ate or touch the carcass of any unclean animal (Lev 11)
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              – Anyone from the sons of Aaron who has a blemish, has blindness or lame [check lameness in wikipedia or lameness in humans], multilated face, a limb too long, a broken hand or foot, crookbackt/hunchback, a dwarf/midget, a defect in his sight, have an itching disease, scabs, or crushed testicles (Lev 21:16 – 24)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              To avoid being executed for trepassing into The Most High’s Tabernacle while in the uncleaniness state (as stated above) described by Leviticus 15:31!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              • tobby

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                hmm. this is a very sensitive issue, well am not here to castigate anybody for masturbating. I give advice to married men and women on sexual activities. men and women should enjoy sex. being religious doesn’t mean we can’t satisfy our wives or husbands. some say oral sex is a sin but I kick against that. sex is one of the greatest thing a woman can ever enjoy on earth. some marriages crashed cos of sex i.e the man isn’t satisfying the wife which makes the woman unhappy and even leads to divorce. men sex your wife, suck her, make her feel the womanhood, don’t be too righteous . give her hit sex styles, and for the women, don’t deny your man from sex. men sex ur wife very well so she won’t masturbate. it’s not easy to control ones self as singles . you can reach on me if you need more enlightenment on how satisfy ur man or woman on bed. +2347033543846.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                • colen

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  hi,im 37 thanx for this page im one of those who goes for sometime and be sure that ive overcomed yet the same feeling comes back.sometimes i have to watch the porno.i know is wrong but hard to get my mind out of it.but after i become so worried and confused.its hard to pray with this guilty praying hard but i cant be sure that is done while still single.but God is great lets keepon praying with confesion

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  • Sam

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Mastrubation is clearly a sin.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    The sexual act can only be practiced within a husband-wife relationship, as a covenantal act of love and unity. There is a unhealthy spiritual connection to yourself and to different unseen evil spirits, as well as to the person you imagine while commiting the sin.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I was addicted to it, as a man who grew up without a mother. I wanted to get what I was lacking and overcome women, to take vengance on my mother. It became a fleshly desire, and you feel free to have authority over any woman you wish, mentaly. Today I am free of that sin, my life has become holy, I feel steonger in the Lord and His anointing is stronger over me. And my mom, she is with the Lord today too.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    It might cost you some dedication and overcoming power, just like being freed from any other addiction, but with the Lord Yeshua it is possible. Set your priorities.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Get married and have a wonerful life in Jesus. Be healthy spiritually and physically, you have to die to your flesh though, that’s also your cross.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    If you will have children, may they not say Daddy or Mommy touches himself or herself. There is holyness, pursuit it in Jesus.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Supporting mastrubation is a bad act dear author of this article. You might cause long-term damage on the people, whether knowingly, or unknowingly. We believers should stop watering down the truth of the Gospel of freedom in Jesus. Let’s stay awaike and totally leave the world with it’s ways and walk in God’s ways.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    • CSW

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Thankyou for posting on this topic. I believe discussions like this are very important as many Christians are likely to be subject to false guilt and shame because they mastutbate.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Further to my earlier comment I am praying for blessing for anyone who has said in this thread that they have struggled with masturbation. I pray that God will reveal to you how much he wants you to feel blessed by having this gift that he has given you to enable you to live a sexually pure life. We all as singles need this gift in our lives to help us deal with the massive volume of sexualised messages and content we are bombarded with in our modern day permissive sociesties.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      • Keshwar Dabiri

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        I think it’s a sin, because you can feel good after .it hurts you emotionally. you feel lonely more and you grief it . it’s also an anger feeling of why you don’t have a loved one in your life and a complaining attitude to God so it affect your relationship with God. Sin is any thing harm you. And when Bible says you can control your body ,you should obey God . God’s words stays the same always.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        • Robbie

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          The Pro s are way out here!! Let God be true and every person a liar!! You cannot get off without ungodly thoughts about sexual visions. Pornography is condemned multiple times in scripture and there are many “testimonies” out there of ex porn stars revealing the true depravity of the “industry”. The bottom line is this folks. We either walk in the Flesh (give in to our own desires) or we walk in the Spirit…and trust the power of the Holy spirit living in us (if you are truly born again and not just spiritual) to make a way out of the temptation of the evil one. All true believers struggle between the flesh and the spirit….but we choose to submit or resist. I believe, ultimately, it comes down to “unbelief”. We do not believe its important to God and we do not believe there will be consequenses. Either in this life or the next. All the evidence shows there is in this life and scripture says we will lose rewards in the next for any act of unrepentant sin. So its best to walk on the side of caution, keep your hands out your pants and keep them busy in prayer. One is the flesh…the other the Spirit. We have free choice. Use it wisely.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          • K

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I have prayed about this and asked the Holy Spirit. Im a woman who husband keft me young with our child. I have masterbated off and on for years. I can do it without thinking lustful thought with my toy. I dont think of anyone. I have hormones problems taking meds to get hormones with the change of life. Now i wish to have a husband but dint. I prayed for a husband but im getting older mid 50s. My x left and cheated. I was a virgin before marriage. Holy spirit told me it is ok. I have no guilt about it. I do not watch porn. I do not think about any person. I look at it like a massage. Now i also think if i dont know how to make myself feel relaxed how will a husband when i finally get married know how to make me feel good. When your married your husband owns your body. But when your single the Lord and you own that body. There are endorphins release in your body and this is healthy for your body. Married people in loving relationship tend to live longer. So no i believe it is not a sin and can be done without lusting. Ernest Angely a miracle minister after losing his wife said its not a sin and he masterbated. and Pat Roberson 700 club i heard him on his program say no masterbation is not a sin.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            • Impatiently Waiting

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Hi I’m a 45 year old female who is still a virgin and struggles with masterbaution. For me it started when I was 14. I was curious about sex and I was trying to understand the feelings and desires I was having. It was at this age that I was exposed to seeing an adult male genitals for the first time. I was babysitting for a family friend. Well the wife told me that she needed me to watch the kids because her husband had errands to do and would be in and out most of the day hence the reason she needed me to babysit. But what I didn’t know was how that day would affect my future. You see I had just put the kids to bed when the husband came home and we began to talk. Mostly he would ask how was school was going…you know small talk. Well before I knew the conversation took a turn and he started talking about how he was unhappy and how he was having all these feelings. Being 14 I didn’t really know what to do, so I just listened. Maybe there was a part of me that curious about what he was telling me and part of me felt like a grown-up. At the moment of him talking to me I wasn’t scared because he was a family friend and I trusted that he wouldn’t hurt me. Which is why I think I didn’t object to him to talking me the way he was. I just honestly felt he just wanted someone to talk to and listened to him. Well he walked away and i thought he was done talking but the he called out from the bedroom. He asked if I wanted to play Super Mario Bros on their gaming system which was located in the bedroom. Being naive I said yes and went to the bedroom. He set up the video game and I began to play. But he interrupted me playing by wanting to continue the conversation and the conversation got deeper and more adult to the point he was asking me to have sex with him. I declined but I was frozen by fear. I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t move…I just sat there with game controller in my hand. Well then he proceeded to masterbate in front me and all the while apologizing to me and asking me if this was the first time I’d seen a male genital. Which I nodded yes but not looking at him while he continued “relieving” himself. I resumed playing the video game because I so afraid that if I moved that he might try to come towards me or touch me. I remember just really keeping my eyes on the game even though out of the corner of my eye I could see what he was doing. A moment later the front door opened and it was his wife. She came to the bedroom and at this point her husband was in the bathroom and I was still focused on the game that I didn’t even look at her. I wondered if she knew if something was wrong or if it was written on my face on what had happened. All I know when she drove me home it was very silent in the car. I know God protected me that day because it could have been a lot worse. After what happened to me I found that when I liked a guy and he liked me. I was terrified to let him put his arm around me or hold my hand. It was like the whole nightmare would flash before my eyes. But the ironic part I still had those sexual desires and I was still curious about sex. I found that masterbaution would relieve that desire. At the time I felt safe and I felt I wasn’t doing anything wrong because I wasn’t having sexual intercourse outside marriage. I am a Christian and I was saved when I was 9yrs old. But I got away from the Lord about the same time all of this took place. Even though I found a way to relieve my sexual tension through masterbaution. I still had a desire to be with someone to have a relationship to one day be married. But I was struggling letting in man have a relationship with me, therefore I went down a path of going after guys who were in sense were out of my league. I would like them but they didn’t reciprocate the feeling which would break my heart or worse they would take advantage of me because they knew I liked them, which only gave me false hope and still break my heart. Which only made me feel more alone and more isolated to the point masterbaution was the only thing that made me feel good and brought a temporary joy. But what I really wanted was to be loved and feel loved. But because I was away from God I wasn’t getting that from him…at least I didn’t feel like I was. I didn’t tell anyone what happened to what me until I was way into my early 20’s. So I was dealing with all of this on my own. It got so bad and I felt so alone that I thought about suicide. It was at that point I went to go to see a therapist. They were able to get past the suicidal thoughts but what I really needed was God. I eventually went back to church and resurrendered my life to Christ and life has been better. I have a even stronger desire now to be married. I still struggle with masterbaution. There times I am fine and I won’t think about it but then are times I feel like an addict. Lately it feels like the desires are heightened because I am actively trying to date…I’m trying online dating and with that I have been praying that God help me overcome the fear of being touched by man. But some of the men I have talked to are very forthcoming in their sexual appetites to point it gets me hot and bothered and it results in me resorting to masterbaution to relieve the desires or me actually considering having sex before marriage because the urge is so strong. I keep praying that God will send me my husband and soon!! But in regards to masterbaution I’m on the fence on whether it right or wrong because the bible is silent on it. I also know that God doesn’t promise marriage, which makes me think why am I saving myself for marriage when I may never be married and actually have sex the way God intended sex to be enjoyed. I too feel guilty because I have heard that masterbaution is a sin. I too also wonder how many times is God going to forgive me for the same sin. I know that I have become a slave to masterbaution and I’m doing my best to pray that God will help me overcome it. But on the other side of it I feel masterbaution is the only thing that has kept me from having sex outside of marriage and still a virgin. I just need to pray for God’s help and wisdom on this because I don’t know what else to do.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              • BP

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                First I would like to point out that English is not my mother tongue. So please understand that I eventually use one or the other vacabulary/expression which may not be quite appropriate.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                I am German, 48 years old and just got separated. I also struggeld with masturbation before marriage and I am struggling again with it after the seperation. Going through almost every comment on this website it seems like there are two parties – the ones who are practicing it with feeling guilty afterwards and the ones who hold up the Bible telling (proclaiming) that it is sin.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                However, what I actually miss (dispite some rare exceptions along the comments) is a true and thorough discussion about the root cause of masturbation. I think that if it is possible to figure out the real motivation for masturbation or the leck of strength to withstand masturbation one is much closer to handle with it in an appropriate way.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                By the way: in my understanding most of the Bible quotes listed above by editor of this blog are completely taken out of context and therefore can lead to one-sided understanding of the topic. But this is just my opinion.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                I have discovered that lonliness is one major factor when it comes to masturbation. For sure it is not the only root cause. The reasons for lonliness are a different story again. I don’t know what it is like for females, but for males in particular lonliness very often is compensated by sexual intercourse if a partner is “available” simply because the intercourse is the most intense and closest feeling/perception of being NOT lonely. So if there is no partner or no intercourse is practiced because the relationship is in troubled waters for a long time the temptation to masturbate increases significantly.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                So to me the question actually is not: Is masturbation sin? The question should be: What is the root cause of masturbation (here: lonliness) and do we deal with it in an appropriate way which is blessed by God? At the end of the day it is also not a question if we sin or not. The question is how we deal with it. I strongly vote for pushing the curtain of masturbation to the side and try to look what is behind. This could be a good explanation why the Bible is silent about masturbation because God knows that the actual problem is of a different kind.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                How do I deal with it? I am about to learn that everytime when I feel lonely to remind myself of Jesus’ promises that he is always with me. Every second of my life. And his love and his grace is everything I need (2. Corint. 12, 9). This doesn’t necessarily stop my body from producing hormones, but it helps to reset my mindset. And every action I do starts in my mind (heart).

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                And if it comes to argue somehow in a “biblical way” why we shouldn’t masturbate or if it is ok nevertheless I would like to highlight 1. Corinth. 10, 31. Everyone can judge by him-/herself if he/she praises God by masturbating or not. And the answer to this question is maybe not so straight forward as one might think. I found out that it is possible to masturbate without having any woman in my mind’s eye. What if it was possible to masturbate and to thank God through this because one reminds him-/herself that God has created us with this great gift to experience sexual excitement? Very provocative, isn’t it?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Don’t get me wrong. I rather tend to say for myself that masturbating is something I shouln’t do. However, I don’t judge anyone who is practicing it and maybe even enjoys it.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                • Oasis Singles Author

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  BP thank you for your comment. God created us with physical appetites for things such as food and sex. In and of themselves these are good things. we just need to channel them in the right way. I agree with you in part. Loneliness is indeed one of the root causes that can drive us to masturbation, but it is not the only cause. Can you think of other reasons? By the way, your writing is fine! Do you live in Germany?
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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Blessings to you!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  • BP

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    @Oasis Singles
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Thanks for your feedback. Yes, I live in Germany.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    One other reason for masturbation which strikes my mind at this moment is revenge. Revenge in the meaning of if your former partner is in a new relationship and enjoys sexual intercourse then you may say to yourself: “Ok, he/she has sex. I also want to have it. Since I don’t have a partner I do it to myself. He/she betrays me with a new partner. I betray him/her.”
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I know that revenge is not really the word which describes this precise enough, but I think it is close. This has also the tast of missing out something which could be regarded as a single cause also.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Then I also agree with the aspect of pure biological reasons for practicing masturbation. The male’s prostate doesn’t stop working only because there is no female around. Every now and then it needs to be emptied. Period. Females can’t control their menstruation either.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Now, this comparison may lack of some logic. I know. Females don’t provoke(!) their menstruation. However, males don’t necessarily provoke a stiffy either. Particularly during nighttime in some “certain” dreams it just happens. What I want to say is that there is kind of biological caused pressure which needs to be released.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    • Jay

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I am single
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I have been for years I just recently started masturbating. I feel guilty I don’t do it often and I do not need fantise about anyone my mind is blank .I do not have lustful thoughts I don’t want to lose my salvation so now when I feel the need I stop before I start .But I do have the urge .

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